The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twenty One - San Fransisco

Episode Date: October 26, 2016

Recorded live at The Children's Creativity Museum in front of a live audience. Spindley and Guybo have just watched the film in a self-contained fartbox, partially at 120% speed; A real game changer! Hear a story about Rugrats ill-conceived sequel series (which may or not be real), a rant against the 49ers and James Reid's secret masturbatory preferences.Trailer: Boners of The Heart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time pre-show announcement. That's right Tim, this is not the podcast the worst idea of all time but a pre-show announcement for this episode of the worst idea of all time which is presumably why you are listening to us right now. We are in the way of the product you so desperately crave and not doing anything about it. The following show is recorded live in San Francisco. A huge thank you to everyone who came out

and the Children's Creativity Museum. We had a fantastic time. Quickly, before we get down to the business of We Are Your Friends, though, we've got some announcements to make. At the time of recording, it is the 26th of October in Los Angeles, California. And if you are in LA, join us.

Guess what? So will we. Yeah, and join us tomorrow at 2pm at the Blaze Pizza at the North Farmers Market. It's 110 South Fairfax Avenue. At 2pm, we're going to do a sit-in. We're going to all bring competing pizza products and eat them in front of the Blaze Pizza. We're going to broadcast it live on Periscope. We're going to do a sit-in. We're going to all bring competing pizza products and eat them in front of the Blaze Pizza. We're going to broadcast it live on Periscope.

We're going to show these bastards that we're not going to roll over. We're taking the fight to them. We want to see people coming out with your Papa John's, your Domino's, your Pizza Hut. Shake his pizza. That's it. I mean, and other... Mama's and Papa's Pizza, we walk past the joint there.

It's a new one for me. Yeah. Come along 2pm at the Blaze Pizza at North Farmers Market, 110 South Fairfax Avenue, 2pm on October the 27th. Aside from that, also we are doing the Now Hairless Podcast Festival this weekend at the Marriott in Anaheim. We're on the Sunday morning at 11am, I believe, and there are still tickets available to that.

If you use the code word WORST IDEA when buying the tickets you'll get a 25% discount off of whatever tickets you're buying it's true and we're also if you are listening to this episode fresh we're giving away a couple as well so if you go to

facebook.com slash worst idea of all time you will see all the details in that little contest that we're running. So you could go for free. I'm going to throw some more information in there too. Okay, sure. This is the final part of the pre-show announcement. So thank you for sticking with us.

The podcast you so desperately crave is forthcoming. But this Thursday night, so after the Blaze Pizza event later that night, Tim and I will both be doing stand-up on the Comedy Palace show, So after the Blaze Pizza event later that night, Tim and I will both be doing stand-up on the Comedy Palace show, which is on 2112 Hillhurst Avenue. I don't know where that is, but if you look up Comedy Palace LA on Twitter,

all the information will be there. It's a free show with a great line-up. We cannot wait to see you at one of these events. Enjoy the episode. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague who passed out.

One of them dies, that guy's screwed. One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the worst idea of all time. Episode number 21. My name is Spindly Timbly Wimbley. My name is Guy Montgomery, and we are here at the fantastic Children's Creativity Museum in San Francisco, California. What a place to be. It's a great place to watch a film, any film.

Presumably. We can't speak to that experience. We've got to leave with you right out of the gates. It is very warm. It is warm in here. The air conditioning is bust. we got to leave with you right out of the gates. It is very warm. It is warm in here. The air conditioning is bust. And you'll notice that the ceilings in this room,

remarkably high. Most notable for their height, I would say. And the room in general, the girth, the width, a joy to be in. Breezy, airy other words ending in Y that would describe sort of the amount of air that can circulate through here I don't know if anyone in the crowd saw that, I just

tried to drink the microphone I was getting our co-host by the way. Alright, good on you He's there, knife lives You shouldn't applaud a knife I think that's in the constitution But yeah, so this room, a joy to be in by all accounts You shouldn't applaud a knife. I think that's in the Constitution.

But yeah, so this room, a joy to be in, by all accounts. Where we watched the film, smaller. So imagine this room, and now quarter it in size. And that's where we were. We were in a fart coffin. Yeah. What we did is we watched in a dressing room just back there, and it's, I would say, about 120th the physical space of what we're currently in. A little fart coffin.

I asked you to quarter it. Tim was telling you that if it was a fraction, this would be one out of 120. So imagine how big 120 is as a number. And then remove 119 of those numbers. Just remember this is a podcast, so people don't know what this looks like. That's very important to be... Yeah, I forgot. So, hi everyone.

It was an interesting run-in with the movie this week. Met in a dark alley. Didn't go so well. We were in a situation where we were trying desperately to get everything teed up correctly. And we missed our mark slightly of starting the movie on time. We did pretty good though. We did pretty good. For clarity,

we made it to San Francisco. Okay. A miracle. We made it to the venue. We sold tickets to you. Just out of curiosity, by the way, could you please applaud

if you hear of your own volition, make some noise and please with equal verve and enthusiasm who is here under the recommendation of a friend so half of you are going to have a lot of context for what's about to happen that sound didn't make any sense to me because it was like each one was more than half the room.

Yeah. And that's a Venn diagram that's not allowed to have crossover. So you underestimate Americans. Can you also please get rid of the mic stand? No, I refuse. Nah, it's creating a barrier. Biologically, Americans are known,

they are able to, they operate at 10 decibels higher than anywhere else in the world. So the amount of applause that they make is not necessarily conducive to how many people are in the room in New Zealand terms. i gotcha okay that's cool can you still get rid of the mic stand though i can in the sense that i'm physically capable of moving it out of my way may i will not in the sense that it is a security blanket i am not willing to release just yet

i don't trust these people they applauded a knife back our timeline, we started a little bit too late, and so we kind of did the math on that about a third of the way through the movie and thought of a quick technical solution, which is to speed the movie up to 1.2 times normal speed. And I tell you what, after you've seen something 20 times at one speed

and then you see it one time after that at 1.2 times, it's a whole other ball game changer real game changer fundamentally changes the text that you're engaging with doesn't it because it's not how it's not what you're used to maybe if you met a friend and they were just one operating two percent different 20 yeah yeah 20% faster like how can you how can you across the board

be 20% faster than you were hey can I do my shining light right up top because I'm afraid I'm going to forget it if I leave it too long

so this week I would like to give a special mention to Jarhead because I feel like he was really talking to me this week which is cool

who knows Jarid in the room yeah okay don't pander to them I'm just making sure everyone's got as much context as possible who doesn't know presumably that means a lot of you because less than half at least applauded then so weird to enter

this event not anyway Jahid spoke to me but that's not my shining light. He's like a special commendation for this week, so he gets a handshake from me. You were worried you were going to forget your shining light, but you still had two positive things up your sleeve. That is so bad, eh?

Yeah. Oh, no, but it's even worse than that, because it's like, I'm so confident that I feel like I was able to distract myself with the first thing, and I'll be able to come back to the thing I was remembering. Okay. Do you think that I've got it in my head, or do you think I'm buying time? I think you've got it in my head or do you think I'm buying time?

I think you've got it in your head. Do you? I have supreme faith in you. That's fucking lovely. You have a knife attached to the neck of your t-shirt. Yes, I do. There's no reason to question anything you're saying. Absolutely.

So look, the shining light is, Paige, once again, I think, and I feel like we've danced around this moment in the past, but I'm not sure if it's ever been awarded a shining light status, but the fact that he is opening an employee orientation with a baseball bat is just great. It's coming in so strong and so hot. Come in late, come in, please, don't worry about it. Oh, yeah, come and have a seat. There's something unique about a boss

who's coming in with that sort of intensity and laying the ground rules so clearly I feel like he's a good communicator So you, as a person who's previously worked in jobs that require an orientation day or a day wherein you get familiar with the lay of the land

Have you ever walked in and the person who's in charge of you, not just on that day, but for the remainder of your professional time as you're an employee at this company, have you ever seen that person holding a weapon? No, and that's why I love Paige, because I haven't seen it done before. It's dynamic, it's innovative.

You think it's good to instill a culture of fear in the workplace? Well, it's more about start starters you mean to go on, because the more we learn about Paige, we find out that he's a very strong personality. He's a guy who doesn't mind stealing the homes of assumedly single mothers. We don't see Mr. Romero in the picture at all. No, Mrs. Romero is, of course, dating Zacoli's father.

Oh, yeah yeah that's right it's a very confusing situation there's so much canon to follow isn't there anyway he's laying down the tone of your future employment like hour one of you walking in the door there with the baseball bat and I think that's great

because too often in jobs you come in and it's like oh we're a great employer and we'll give you heaps of time off and we're very understanding if you, like, can't come to work one day. And then you fucking try that shit once and they fire you. It's like a miscommunication. It's a communication breakdown. So, Paige is doing the opposite. He's like, guess what, motherfuckers?

I am here to party. If you are not on board with this baseball bat from the first hour, you can GTFO. Go work at Starbucks. Of course, the crazy thing about Gold Star Realty Solutions is that while Paige will say, if you don't like the baseball bat, you can get out, to get out, you will have to walk past Paige with the baseball bat. Yeah.

So, I mean, it's virtually impossible. Once you agree to go in for the orientation day to leave this job without either suffering severe physically lasting injuries. And who looks stupid for clipping a knife to their neck now, huh? Not me. Still you. Not this guy. Always the guy with the knife clipped to his neck.

Can you get rid of the mic stand? Are we there yet? No. The question is who looks stupid for having a knife clipped to their neck right now what a fuck it that is the most redundant question because the only person who can look stupid wherein there are two people one of whom does not have a knife clipped to their neck and the other person who does yeah the person with their knife clipped their neck looks like a fucking idiot yeah a knife is most powerful when concealed.

I could have any number of knives on me right now. So to you, the idea of a knife is more important than the knife itself. This is like Cold Warfare. I can see when you reach for the knife. That's true. Everyone in this room knows when Tim's going to get a little stabby because it's literally in front of them. Me, I've got knives on any body part right now. This is terrifying.

It is because you've got a lot covered. Like you are wearing an incredible t-shirt. On that announcement, I'm now willing to remove the microphone stand. We're into it, folks. Welcome. Now we're doing a show. Here it is. So you've got a thick, loosely fitted t-shirt on which could conceal many lives not the only

feature of that t-shirt as well no it's a printed t-shirt which means that there is a feature image affront the t-shirt uh i bought it custom for this event uh securing the knowledge i am in san francisco and the t-shirt does have the word san francisco not printed on it per se for those of you listening at home guy looked down to affirm his physical description of the t-shirt realized he was in the wrong and then found a way to bail out in a hurry but you know context everything and so as long as we are in san francisco a way to bail out in a hurry. I mean, context to everything. As long as we are in San Francisco, the t-shirt does have the SF acronym on it.

The implication would be that the t-shirt represents San Francisco in some way. For sure. I'm with you. It's not just an SF. This is the logo of the local football team in the NFL,

the San Francisco 49ers. That's the T-shirt I'm wearing. We've got some fans in. It's very good. You are milking the shit out of this. You are going the longest route possible. Well, the other detail of the T-shirt is that around the San Francisco 49ers logo,

it says 2011 NFC West Division Champions. Now, for those of you who are listening to this in the future, the time of recording is 2016. So that is five years later than the San Francisco 49ers were champions of the NFC. Run me through this again. How many teams are in that division? So in the NFC West, there are four teams.

In the NFC, there are 16 teams. In the NFL, there are 32 teams. Sorry, but West, which is what the t-shirt says they're the winner of, that division, they won out of four teams. At the start of the year, they had a 25% chance of becoming the NFC West champions. God, that's good. Which is a pretty good odds.

Do you know that is akin to me making a t-shirt that claims I'm the best bat child because I've got three other siblings? I do. And like wearing it with a blunt. Not only that, it is the equivalent of you becoming head boy in 2006 and buying a t-shirt which said best bat sibling 2006 and then printing it and distributing it to tourists in the bat household as sort of some sort of championing of your achievement.

This is the most insane t-shirt that you could possibly print. Between this t-shirt being printed in 2016, the San Francisco Giants have won the World Series more than once I think and the Golden State Warriors have won the NBA yet at the store I bought this t-shirt at the only piece of sports merchandise available was a t-shirt championing San Francisco 49ers, five years ago in 2011, beat four other teams in the first heat of the NFL. This is the most ridiculous.

So, have you got a shining light? Absolutely. Not in memory. I really worked up to a frenzy there. Hey, while you're grabbing that though as well, absolutely not in memory I really worked up to a frenzy hey while you're grabbing that though

as well because we can clearly come back that's not as impermanent as a memory have I used the

prefix correctly I don't know but look while it is in my head there is a very special gentleman somewhere in this crowd who we

named a measure of currency after would the king of Patrick's please make himself a measure of currency after with the king of patrick's please make himself known to the room where is the king of patrick's stand up if you are the king of patrick's oh there's no way this guy's got so much money he's a no-show for those who didn't catch it this is a gentleman who gave us 500 of your us dollars yeah just just just on a PayPal. I emailed him

when that message came through and I was like, oh, hey dog, looks like you made a little error. Happy to chuck the money back through.

Just tell me where to send it. And he was like, that was intentional and I was like, what are you talking about? The issue with rewarding these wealthy punters

is that they often have enough money to buy a ticket to an event they want to go to and then decide later that they actually don't want to go to. Fuck, I i love that and i suspect that that is what has happened to the king of pat he's probably cheering a meeting of the patricks right now

catered by blaze pizza just having an absolute fucking whale of a time well he had a request and we'll do it anyway no might he turn up later he He might turn up later. Do you know I'm having trouble lifting the microphone from those press-ups? Because we had such a weird watch of the movie inside that room, we were just getting hotter and hotter, getting like boiled from the inside out, but we insisted on keeping the door closed and just leaning into that, and that

combined with the increased speed of the film really made for quite an interesting experience here in San Francisco, and I was like, cheery on top, let's do a few press-ups before we go out there, really get the blood flowing, and I almost fucking passed out. And now my arms are so tired from eight probably incorrectly performed press-ups, I can barely hold a mic. You cannot imagine how foreign the experience is for us from watching the movie,

normally just by ourselves in a room, where we talk talk about it privately and then you perv on it later like the bloody Christians you are. But we don't know about it. We don't know that you do that. As far as we're concerned, it just goes and dies. We're like those cam girls that don't know they're cam girls. That feels like the wrong analogy. Yeah, it feels like a real horror show of an analogy.

Yeah, sorry. But yeah, to come out from that, from sort of a 40 degree Celsius or 1 million degree Fahrenheit, because the scale doesn't work, room. After watching the movie 20% faster than we've ever seen it before and then have a room full of paying customers, expect us to provide them with a professional conversation about the movie Where Are Your Friends for the 21st time, which in and of itself is a ridiculous thing to be in at all. Yeah. It's very confusing.

It's unique. It's baffling. We're all happy to be here. That's the... We did speculate in the throes of watching the film that maybe what we were watching was not the movie at 20% faster, but what Maximum Joseph designated as the director's cut and

the reason the film hasn't been received so warmly since its release is because the studio insisted on slowing it down and what we're watching isn't the intended result and I think that holds a lot of water for me. Well it's a better film at 120% of its normal state. It certainly raises the stakes

It certainly does because there's a lot of electronic dance music in the production and so I mean that's pretty banging at the simplest of times but when you pump that up by another fifth that shit it's just like man you're in there

it's throwing you round mentally I got very caught up with the drum beats it was like a rip I don't know if you guys know about rips a rip is in the ocean where the ocean becomes a how the fuck do you describe a rip in New Zealand because we're a tiny

collection of three islands it's instilled into us very early on that the ocean can kill you we're more than three islands shout out to the Chathams by the way oh I'm so sorry to the Chathams. And they took a loud dependency, which sometimes we count and sometimes we don't.

I digress. We are taught from the age we can walk that the ocean is out to get us and to be very careful of this to the point where it seems unavoidable. Being on land doesn't matter. You could still drown. That's how put into us it is from such a young age.

So a rip is a patch of the ocean that looks very glassy and calm, but you get pulled into it, and there's like an undertow, right? That's what it is? It's like an inverse mirage, because it is water. But it's bad water and you can't drink it either you cannot drink the ocean

okay that has tickled me I like that a lot what's your shining light oh you see you open a riff we goof around inside of it and then you just What's your shining light? Oh, you see, we open a riff.

We're recording a riff. Get out of it. We goof around inside of it, and then you just thrust this upon me. Yeah, got to keep the rhythm up. I have a limited number of notes. As you'll notice, this is my notebook. You'll see there's that first page.

It was all pretty hot notes taken in the first 10 minutes of the film. I'll buy you some more time. No, no, no, this is important. This is the second page of notes. It goes back to a third first ten minutes of the film I'll buy you some more time no no no this is important this is the second page of notes it goes back to a third of the way through the film and then it became sweltering

and I didn't write anything down so my shiny white I genuinely thought I was going to throw up in that room like that's how hot it was in there

he did he said I'm either going to black out or throw up and to his credit he didn't either I was just going to mention

some people walked in earlier. Is the King of Patrick's in the house? Still nothing? How rich is this fucking dude? Like, real pumped to see the show. I'll bet he paid someone to mess with us. Oh, I wonder if this is connected to... No, we'll get into this.

It's too good to not. An offer has been extended to Guy and I by email. Oh yeah, that's funny. The details of what you're being worked out at the moment with someone who we assume is goofing us, who got in touch to be like, hey, would you guys be interested in coming to Iceland for an independent music festival and covering an Ace Frehley song? Hey, almost. Would you be interested in

coming to Canada to play an Icelandic music festival? Oh, okay, sorry. Oh, you're right. Yes, yes, yes, yes. In Manitoba. And this is like, you know, this is the shit that happens behind the curtain

with famous people that you never hear about because releasing the details jeopardises the deal but it's so fucking weird that i i can't not tell you guys it's so strange it's the best offer i've ever had it's if they pay for it i will go yeah it's truly it's truly bizarre we like that and they accidentally instead of just emailing directly us they emailed our agent in new zealand who is we are by no means professional people, but in New Zealand, you know, we at least have to go through the trouble of processing work through an agent.

Outside of New Zealand, nobody cares what we do. We're literally roaming free. But this person, for whatever reason, somehow stumbled into contacting us through an agent. And so their offer, presumably, just this long-running extended gag, is going through the very professional prism of an agency office and so

they're asking if we're okay with singing the material of the song because it's politically inflammatory and a lot of people don't perform it i think it's just got religious components to it i think that was the thing it was like just want to check that tim and guy will be okay with covering this there's for those of you don't know who ace freely is he was a member of kiss right i don't know i can't remember the name of the song because i only know one ace freely song and that's back in the new york groove and if you are not familiar with that track anyone know that song back in new york fucking great song right i don't know so good you're gonna say if you don't know that track you're gonna say something mean to the people who don't know that track no not at all

no no i'd like to know what that thing was gonna to be no no no no no it's not like you got a real fucking bin you're boning about people who don't know the track you got me all wrong dude you're overheated yeah i am you got a full head of steam up in there in the room it's come in guys just come on in there's seats around um hey you don't need to say hello to everyone you can just come in just take some seats you can't sit with say hello to everyone. You can just come in. Just take some seats. You can't sit with your friends when you come to the Sway. Any of you Patrick King? Sit down.

Sit down, peasants. He's got his money's worth. There's a seat here, dude. Dude, come and sit down. All right, fucking do what you want. I'm not the boss here. I'm not your dad. You guys are bad guys.

You could have taken the time to find three seats and sit as the group of friends who arrived, but you both just ripped the panic cord and sat down together. Yeah, it's a pleasure to have you. Thank you so much. You are,

sir, if I may say, and this may come out meaner than I intended, so I'm going to try and think at 120% speed and talk at a hundy. You are the perfect depiction of America. You're like a good-looking, clean-cut gentleman. Who took the first seat. Who's acting like a real piece of shit. Rocking in here disturbing everybody.

High-fiving your pal. This is not a high-five moment. You take your goddamn seat and you wait. I'm sorry. Look, we mean well. We are just confused and warm and irate, okay? We're all out of sorts. Has anyone watched the movie before coming to the event this evening?

Did anyone watch We Are Your Friends? Make some noise. Oh, yeah. Hey, what did you think? Yeah. You don't get to talk, buddy. What what did you think? Yeah. You don't get to talk buddy. What do you

guys think about it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would agree with that. Whoever said

it's the Citizen Kane of our generation. I said that. Yeah. And so did another person

whose influence no whose opinion you have influenced yes it's important to get the words around the right way I know it's difficult

I'm going to stand up for a little bit I did this in LA too it feels weird to sit the whole time it feels very like standoffish with the crowd I'm now trapped

in the mic cord I'm just going to lean on this so Guy can we please give you a shining light yeah without a doubt I like this power play

I've done as well we've got any theatre nerds in the house there's there's a power component to the levels that you put your characters at and uh whoever's elevated is at a higher physical level and right now old timbo's well to be fair i'm leaning against the chair because i'm so exhausted but you're sitting wrong again what you have uh misplayed your hand in the same way by clipping your knife to your t-shirt you've played your hand too early

okay I'm well you've Tim has now removed the knife from his t-shirt putting it on his belt and clipped it on his belt

much more threatening much more powerful I won't finish my thought because you now threaten me I also feel very presentational doing the lane thing I'm going back to the chair you are all over the map

I'm sorry my shining light was early in the chair. You are all over the map. I'm sorry. My shining light was early in the movie when the fellas, all of the boys, and by the way, this is our 21st watch, which means that this movie, with regards to the weeks we've spent watching it, is now of legal age to have a beer in the United States of America. These fuck boys have just become fuck men. Yes. A big round of applause.

Yes. I love that. All grown up. And they go into a club, celebrate being 21, as well they should, as is their right. You're saying all grown up has triggered a myriad of crossover possibilities in my head. Do you know when I say all grown up, the first thing I think of is... Regrets? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. All grown up, I really thing I think of is... Rugrats? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. All grown up, I really want to shout out. Oh, yes. All grown up with you. I didn't know that was in there. It's in there. Oh.

It's all in there. Oh, man. Instead of useful information. So that was Phil and Lil and Chucky and Tommy and Angelica in middle school, right? Does anyone remember? Yeah, junior high, I think. How many seasons did they do of that little experiment?

I don't know, but I know the last episode they did was about Tommy getting his first pube and it turned a lot of viewers off. What the fuck? Are you serious? Deadly.

What? Tommy Pickles. Little Tommy Pickles. His mum said to him, she said, Tommy, when you get a pube, you come home and you tell me and I'll buy you a chocolate bar.

And Tommy said, Mum, no. What the fuck? Yeah. But anyway, he goes to school. Don't anyway that. That's a big deal. He goes to school. Shit. He feels a funny feeling in his tummy and he goes into the bathrooms and he checks his kit.

Traditionally hairless. tummy and he goes into the bathrooms and he checks his kit traditionally hairless and certainly there is a pubic here on the sort of not on the actual penis or balls but on the mound above where the penis and balls the most pubis yeah i know that it's called that on a woman i'm not sure what it's called on a man maybe the same full-blown panic attack goes to school nurse okay she says what's wrong he says i've got a pube She accuses him of sexual assault. He gets thrown off the premises, walks home, tells his mum. She refuses to buy him a chocolate bar. This is the final scene. Because she thinks he assaulted the nurse.

You had me and you had me and you had me. And then the sexual assault thing, you lost me. That's why I went off the air. Tommy Pickles, a man who we spent our childhood watching as a brave leader of one-year-olds, got accused of sexual assault as a 14-year-old boy in Nickelodeon's final chapter of exposing his life to us.

They had a whole story arc planned out for after it. They had the court case and everything. You're lying. You are lying to me and you're lying to all the people listening. I wouldn't lie to anyone. I'm the most honest person I know. Anyway, if I may, if you could stop distracting me for one hot second, my shining light was these 21-year-old fuck men

walking to a nightclub in Los Angeles, California. Zac Efron is DJing just the side room. I'm going to shut my eyes. You see the scene. I'm going to shut my eyes. You set the scene. I'm like a listener. Only I can physically touch you. Don't do that. If you are listening and confused, I can't touch you,

so you needn't worry. Unless you're listening while I'm in front of you, so I can specifically act out this moment, in which case I'm presumably touching you right now. The fucked men, they go to a nightclub okay the the turtle's cousin who is the manager of the inside of the nightclub first of all is shocked to discover that you're allowed to leave the nightclub yep and second of all and then it's a physical possibility in the realm he has no idea he says where's my five hundo bro he said did you see the line outside and the guy's like outside i have literally been inside of this nightclub

for my entire professional life i did not know that we had a patio anyway zicoli goes in he sets up to dj all right he's standing next to squirrel squirrels meeting a woman who you know they'll later have intercourse but that's not a handle there becauseirrel's meeting a woman who they'll later have intercourse. But that's not a hint all there because he's wearing a T-shirt with a very highlighted, sort of quite in-your-face abstract eyeball, like this glowing psychedelic eyeball. It's front and center on his T-shirt. And this week, in this specific environment in which I watched the film, I saw that T-shirt and I thought to myself out loud, no way, Squirrel is wearing Tim that t-shirt and I thought to myself out loud no way squirrel is wearing Tim's

t-shirt I know for a fact my eyes closed that whole time there was no payoff like for me having my eyes closed that's kind of on you as much yeah fair enough sorry I'm back in the room so yeah I will take 50% of the blame for the having no payoff but the other 50% was your inability to engage with your imagination. We'll agree it's half your fault. Anyway, I genuinely thought that Squirrel had borrowed your T-shirt for the scene. Dude, I... Okay, that's a bit different.

But I many times have seen that T-shirt and been like, definitely something I would buy and wear. It's totally something you would wear. Yeah, like a cartoony eyeball. Yeah. Kind of disturbing and brash. And novel. It's the baseball bat on first day of work of the t-shirt world.

Like it sets a tone. It's like shit's going to get a little bit weird, but it's going to be cool. You know? Yeah. It's going to be a little off kilter and a little bit full on, but you're going to enjoy it. That's what you think wearing it? Yes. For a lot of people who have recently lost an eye for whatever reason,

that is a very intimidating and offensive T-shirt. And I do apologize for that. I know that's a big part of our audience. Yeah, big shout out to everyone who's just coming up to eye surgery. When LASIK goes wrong. Yeah. A lot of those people, they'll have their eyes shut. Did you see that Final Destination?

Where the LASIK machine took on a life of its own got a bit HAL 2000 on it 9000 whatever the thing from space obviously is Haven't seen either

of the films There's there's yeah right That's good Final Destination is I know the series

yeah there's like half a dozen of them now People die right Some one of them I think it's the third one yeah that's the whole that's the main thing there's like half a dozen of them now. People die, right? Some one of them. I think it's the third one. Yeah, that's the whole deal. That's the main thing.

It's like you get a bunch of people together at the start of the movie and as an audience member, you're like, all of these people will eventually die except for one of them so they can front the sequel. Yeah.

I think it's the third one I went to at the cinema and they had a LASIK machine, which is the laser eye surgery and it fucking blitzes out and like carves someone's head in with a laser. It's intense, bro. That is not, that is the laziest story thread to build a movie around. It's like, okay, what do we, laser eye surgery, lasers, eyes, that's terrifying movie.

Yeah, yeah. It's pathetic. Well, it's better than this one. Big shout out to any of the writers on Resident Evil 3. No. You got it? First of all, Resident Evil 3

and second of all, Final Destination 3. I'm so disappointed with what they did with Resident Evil 3 because I don't know if we've got any Resident Evil aficionados or fans

in the audience tonight. But when I was a kid, Resident Evil 2 for the PlayStation 1 was a game that I spent a lot of time with and it freaked the hell out of me because I was about 11 at the time. And it was like amazing.

It was scary as hell. And then when the movies came out with Mila Jovovich it was all like kind of fuck, I don't know. They made it too, it was too Hollywood. Not scary enough. It was too Hollywood. Not scary enough. It was too action-focused. I'm really upset for the previous version of yourself.

We had to engage with that on the day. My inner child, dude. And you should be. Because he's disappointed. Did you talk to Tommy Pickles about it? And did he put your problems in perspective because he was facing a sexual assault trial for growing a pube?

Did that happen? Hey, we've got some business to attend to, dude. How do I count him for this? Five, six, seven, eight. Getting sentimental with James Rhee. Rhee.

Oh yeah. Oh baby It's never taken off like the Petty Schwartz intro. Can you feel that feather in your ear? Can you feel that feather in your ear? It's me, James Reid. Announcing an exciting new sponsor for this segment of the podcast, Feathers and Ears. I pluck chickens on my farm and sell the feathers for tickling.

Anyway, enough about that. On to the segment. Okay, so look. I am. Here's the situation. I'm here. Tim and Guy are trapped in a fart box

watching the film at a different speed for a while I've got so much respect for you Guy had you say off mic I've got so much

respect for you and no one listening online will ever believe that he said it that was fucking smart dude that was real

fucking smart you gotta leave some gifts for the people who made it to the live performance, and that is a very smart way of doing it. I like that, and I hate you for involving me in it. You hate me for saying the nicest thing I could think of.

It was what you said. It was how you said it. Here's the situation. We're trapped in a fart box. I've got a lot of respect. Trapped in the fart box. Trapped in the fart box. We're watching the movie at the incorrect speed. We're getting a bit manic.

We get to the bit of the film where James Reed is handed over the MacBook Pro box to our man, Zicoli, the world's greatest crying DJ. He does it every week, by the way. This is not a surprise to us at this point. He doesn't what? He does it every week. Oh, yes. You and me, we always see it coming.

Yeah. One of the most predictable plots of the movie. Oh, yeah. It's always, well, it all is. Yeah. Okay. That particularly. Now, this week, your brain took a bit of a turn.

Oh, that's right. It was, okay, so we had a, fuck, this is a tricky one to get into. I can't remember what the origin was. It was about masturbating to electronic dance music. Don't know if there's a way to clean that up, but I've said it now, so. No, it's true. We speculated, not without very good grounds and firm evidence... Which I cannot recall.

Yeah, which is, you know, by the by at this point, that James Reid, for whatever reason, has made a real life and habit out of masturbating to electronic... He can only orgasm on the drop, so to speak. This guy makes a real point of coming on the drop and Jesus Christ. I know

I opened this up. I can't. I have no I have ceded all ground to be like outraged and disgusted but coming on the drop jizzing on the drop with James Reid brought to you by Feathers for tickling. There's a lot going on

in that sponsorship deal. Yeah, so anyway, the thought was that James Reid, you know, not only can he not orgasm without electronic dance music, but he's made a real go of it.

It's a thing he thoroughly enjoys. Yes. And the reason he fundamentally disagrees with the music of zicoli when he first hears it is because this is not music he can imagine coming to correct yep i think i'm still with you yeah and so he does a breakdown with him you know he takes him into a studio he shows him all of his fancy equipment the wallets this is what it fucking came from. Thank God.

Oh, thank God. I got you. Nice. Take over. Okay. Oh, okay. So James Reid brings Zicoli in. It's filled with amazing equipment

and Zicoli says to him, how do you ever leave this place? And I said, sometimes I got to go masturbate and I don't want to come on the equipment. In character as James Reid. Tim didn't say that. Tim didn't.

Thank you. Yeah, it's very important. That is a very small life raft, but I will jump on it and paddle as fast as I can. Yeah, so that's where that idea came from. Tim stayed in the room. I was physically in the room. The idea was sort of...

Planted. Planted by... I'm not going to get too bogged down in this it's fine it is what it is it is what it is out there now so i can't even remember what the fuck was in the box though at the end of this no so yeah what it was is he said i uh how do you believe this place i have to go masturbate sometimes and i don't like to get come i don't like to get come on the equipment yep uh and then he also said as a double down on insulting Zicole, also learn how to fucking beat match.

Because what Zicole played, James Reid from the Feelers, in that studio, was a goddamn noise salad of a song. All right? That was not, what he did did not constitute melody or rhythm. Because now with this additional context, you can see the pun that beat match is a part of. I'm trying to bring the audience along a little bit. I feel like we're losing the room.

We've hashed the explanation. The room is still here. I'm literally watching. If anyone leaves, we'll know. So the room is... I'm looking at you, Captain America. You're like Moses. You'll lead them all out.

He's watching me watching you watching me so what happened is he got very frustrated by his colleagues inability to engage with the idea

of creating music that you can masturbate to specifically beat match to yes and bought him a book which is what is inside the MacBook Pro box oh yeah

a book that was entitled and it's part of a very popular series yellow cover cartoon figure on the front called An Idiot's Guide to Beat Matching and so There's a book that was entitled, and it's part of a very popular series, Yellow Cover, cartoon figure on the front, called An Idiot's Guide to Beat Matching. And so the self-serving gift that James Reid has bought Zicoli this week... It's literally a book on servicing oneself.

It's perfect. It's flawless. It is a complete circle. It is exactly as described by James Reid, and that is a self-serving gift that Zicoli will learn how to A, make music to masturbate to and B, masturbate to that music

on the beat or beat matching. Okay, this is a skill that would previously... Did we get your shining light? Yeah. What was it?

It's not important but it was to do with an eyeball on a t-shirt. Oh, okay, the t-shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking weak, man. I feel like you had your opportunity to air that grievance after the thought. It's just quite striking that I couldn't remember it.

It just happened. I don't think it's particularly striking. I would imagine both of us are capable of forgetting this entire experience. Yeah, it's happened before and it'll happen again. Oh, Lord. Are you good? What? Are you good? How do you feel about this? Oh, fuck feel about this i don't know man i'm happy to be here real happy to be in front of this room of um what a great

audience as well i can feel a lot of like love coming off them they're really lovely really lovely we did a terrible job of advertising this show i know these people still found it i know that's how good this audience is yeah You guys are supposed to be here. I appreciate it. I appreciate it a lot. No one is here by mistake. Not even the knife. Except for people who have too much confidence in their friends' taste in comedy and culture events.

Those people are here by mistake. Although, and this will be the last time I mention him, I think, there is a man who is supposed to be here who isn't, and that is Patrick King, a king among Patrick's. Is he in the building yet? Are you just shy Patrick? Are you shy to share your wealth with all of these San Franciscans?

I thought someone up top was pointing at someone. Nah, we're good. Do you know what? I don't know whether to be upset. I'm still glad he gave us $500 but feels like a really long, expensive con on his end to take something that we value, which is the respect of our fans,

and diminish it in front of those very people. Is he the same person who's trying to drag us over to an Icelandic music festival in Canada, do you think? See, when you string the words together like that, like, that's fucking bananas, right? This is a real thing that's happening at the moment in the background. So strange. They asked, you know know in the questions of the terms and conditions of the festival they asked if we had experience with something called a vocalizer a vocoder a vocoder they didn't ask about the vocalizer we don't have experience with

either of those take the knife over to um canada canada's so peaceful though but they've got good healthcare so no matter who I stab they'll be fine look at me look at her she started it yeah she planted the idea

of you having a knife in Canada you very firmly implanted the visual of you stabbing a Canadian person that's true and I'm willing to accept it and take it back

I'm not going to go stabbing any Canadians unless they start it. What constitutes grounds for a stabbing? If they pull a knife first. It's been a good show. Thanks for coming. Take it easy. Where do you think he's going?

Look, if I had to say, it's a toss-up between Canada... He's going to do a wheeze. No, if you say wheeze, it's a pose. If you say pose, it's to masturbate. If you say masturbate, it's to stab a Canadian. You always pitch a little bit nicer than the truth to make people feel good about you and your decisions.

That's how I roll. Analyze that. So in the movie, as I was saying, the boys become men. They get their earnings from the bar manager who's trapped indoors and very confused by his environment. Well, he deserves a name. Turtle's cousin should be Tortoise, surely.

That is as far as the biological connection I can draw between a turtle and a tortoise goes, absolutely. So tortoise, he underpays them, right? Yes. But before they find out that they've been paid less money than they earned, or rightfully earned, under a verbal agreement in the state of California, which I'm pretty sure you all know about, the verbal agreement that you guys will give

the Children's Creativity Museum a five-star review on Yelp and this podcast a five-star review on iTunes is that Squirrel's explaining to them he had sex with that woman the night before, right? Sarah. Yeah, Sarah. And Sarah, we see a very brief snippet of them

having sex in a car wherein Sarah says to him, come on, Squirrel, where are those nuts, squirrel? I need those nuts, squirrel. It's not winter yet. It's not winter yet. Correct. Very funny thing to say

for aggressively grabbing a man's testicles. My question to you, Tim, because I watched it and it really jumped out at me this week, have you done nut stuff? What a great question to pick for a live audience what do you mean stuff with nuts stuff where nuts are meant to be sexy or a tool to be a sexual tool to be used what a bold opening i'm not gonna get into this that would be a yes. You've absolutely done nut stuff.

Okay, all right. I feel like I've done the normal amount of nut stuff, which I guess is a different metric for every person. Yeah, but you don't consider nut stuff to be a sub-genre of sex. No. I think that anything that encompasses your genitals is, by virtue of its location part of the party doesn't matter if you've put a condom over your nuts or your penis

all right so let's back this truck up for one second how are you using condoms and how many do you have on when you are using them? Tim, quite recently about five years ago I started researching I was trying to become a better writer so I started researching scripts for different things online and what I wound up in was a goldmine of material

from the spin-off series of Rugrats, All Grown Up contained therein there was a series of episodes that were never put to animation or released wherein Tommy Pickles was acquitted from a sexual assault charge and eventually wound up in a circumstance wherein he was supposed to have sex with a woman as an 18-year-old boy at an American high school. You found yourself on a fan fiction

website and confused it for canon they're different things these scripts okay so what you've certified what you've got nickelodeon copyright on the front page i think someone just wrote that on and you've bought into it yeah it was handwritten but they definitely that's like someone listening to this podcast and thinking everything we're talking about is in the product that we watch every week as someone who has never told a lie I can stand behind that mission statement tell me this Captain Truth

how the fuck does the condom get involved with the nut stuff well if 5 or 6 years ago when you're still discovering about yourself sexually you are learning from a source material that involves an 18-year-old boy who's learning about himself sexually. What you might wind up with, I'm just saying hypothetically,

is a sexual situation wherein you put what you describe as Santa's hat on the guys. Yes. Try and put them inside your prospective sexual partner. Listen, we're all adults here. I'm pretty sure the tickets were sold R18.

We are in the Children's Creativity Museum. This is legitimately a children's theatre. Oh boy, I'm going in. When you first started being sexually active, you put the condom on the entire package. Am I saying it right yet? Is this what we're dealing with?

I know why I'm doing this with my hands. I can see how that's what you visually thought was happening no i had two condoms oh okay see that's why i asked before how many were you using okay one yes for the guys yeah and one for my main guy which is what i call my penis so now the question becomes ironically my penis calls me the person his main guy nice we do a lot of funny riffs about it in the bathroom so now the question becomes how do you think condoms work well i mean because it's sort of almost suggested it's bigger than how do condoms work it's how does sex work okay okay but i mean i don't know how yours i started this thought yeah that's not to I say, okay. Okay. But I mean... I don't know how you...

I started this thought. Yeah. That's not to say I know how to end it. Jesus Christ. All right. What I will say is I've never told a lie in my life. That is a fact. I believe it too.

You're a weird dude I like it we're all weird dudes that's the thing about telling the truth when everyone opens up starts telling the truth you find that everyone's

a weird dude it's just how we're weird is the only thing that's different yeah I mean everyone's everyone is a bit off yeah

absolutely do you know what taught me that all growing up oh yeah dude well that was one of the episodes that didn't get made you know who you know what taught me that all grown up oh yeah dude well that was one of the episodes that didn't get made you know that right fuck i really want to research this now like i reckon this is the golden thing about a podcast people who are listening to this are able to in real time fact check you like the debate so good they'll be like all grown up tommy pickles pubes not Conspiracy theory runs deep.

You're not going to get a lot of Google hits if you put this stuff into a search engine. You've had enough. Alavista, Ask Jeeves, Bing. These sources might have something for you. We've got to go to the second tier. If you put this into Google, they're going to lock your computer screen.

The FBI is going to show up at your house. You're going to get into a lot of trouble. Because technically, researching Tommy Picklesles sexuality is a crime because his predominant time in the public eye was as a minor so we have a part of the podcast called No But

where we try and figure out is this you pulling a rip cord and no butting everything I'm trying to say to you? 100% and I would appreciate it if you rolled into this rather than away from it. Yeah, with pleasure, man. No but as a part of the podcast, we visit a part of the movie that we believe the actors have been given the keys to the production and have managed to ad lib a scene well or otherwise in this viewing. Because as we know, it's different performances each time

that we're observing. Sometimes it's nice. It felt cohesive tonight. The movie? Yeah. Because it was happening faster. Yeah. It felt like they really packed a lot more in. It was all coming at me. By the way, for those of you who are just supremely unhappy

people and are going, well, if you watched it at 1.2 speed, that means that you technically haven't watched the movie in its entirety this week. Tomorrow night in Portland, we promise to watch the movie 20% slower

than its intended broadcast time. That's how we're fixing that. We're going to watch it at 0.8 speed. You can take your pathetic fan theories and put them up your pubic hair. And we started watching it at a slower rate than normal at the very end of the movie because we had an announcement

that the King of Patricks wasn't here yet, so we didn't want to quite start the show until we were sure he was going to be there. Fat lot of difference that made. But I'll tell you something, watching the movie slower is way freakier than watching it faster. And tomorrow night I am sort of looking forward to.

Not the time commitment, because one of the great things about this season is that you can really crack out that movie in an hour 40. But tomorrow I guess it'll be at like, any mathematicians in the crowd, probably like two hours and 20 minutes, something like that. Three hours. That would be double. Tell you what, it'll be a real throwback. That was one thought I had when I was watching the movie at 1.2 speeds.

I was like, I'll tell you what, this movie, it wouldn't hurt it to be a little longer to really rub my nose in it. Really? My last memory

of having to watch a movie in a dressing room was watching Sex and the City 2 in New York. And I remember that. It's like, you've got to allow for three hours before you can do anything to get it done. This movie, I was like,

you think you're making us suffer, Maximum Joseph? The only thing maximum about this movie is your failure to cash in at the box office. What a burn. I see the man performing at the children's theatre

talking about putting a condom on his own balls. The no but for this week for me has got to just be Johnny Depp from Woe To Go. I felt like he was bringing

a different and interesting energy to the performance this week. In particular when we slowed down the movie at the end there's a montage which kind of takes you

back through. Are you guys being fanned by the way or is that only us you guys look hot oh fuck you guys presumably are all very hot you're very dehydrated and that is

we're aware there's no beer I tell you what it's for good reason the reason that the children's creativity museum has run the way it is because they have done extensive research to find out the reason that the children's creativity museum has run the way it is because they have done extensive research to find out the environment in which children are at their most creative and the answer to that question is when they are severely dehydrated and overheating because a hallucinating child is a creative child we do apologise for how you feel right now, though. I mean...

Hallucinating child is a creative child. You're not wrong. It's literally printed... If you look underneath the Children's Creativity Museum theatre, they've got that in a big vinyl banner. Yeah. Very good. And underneath that, they've got... All grown up was an inside job.

Jet fuel can't melt pubes. Fact. I wouldn't lie to you people. It feels like it's got a note as any to end on. Hey, it's been a real journey this week. San Francisco's a super cool town, let me say that. Yeah, thank you so much for having us. The movie's still shit. We've is a super cool town, let me say that. Yeah, thank you so much for having us. The movie's still shit.

A wonderful time. What we traditionally do if we do a live event is a Q&A. Look, we are aware that it's very warm and you're very dehydrated, so Nah, this feels good. Let's do a short one. Okay, we'll do a really quick one. And if anyone

needs to pee, please go. Yeah, yeah. What we're going to do is we'll do a really quick Q&A if you have any questions. Then we're going to take a 20 minute intermission so you can go outside, breathe some air, smoke some delicious cigarettes, run over to a bar. There are bars around here. You can drink some beers. And then Tim and I are going to do a

split bill stand-up show. If you are too fucked or you have a big day tomorrow, by all means you don't need to feel like you have to stay for that but we are very good at it. We prefer doing that to watching the same movie every week for a year. But before we do that,

we'll blitz through a quick... Oh, and also, are there any stand-up comedians in the room tonight? Just give you a second. Any local comics? You are, huh? Anyone else?

We've got one. At least two? Not a lot? Just kind of starting out do you want to do a five minute set before we come out what about you

do you want to open for us yeah what's your name what is it hold on wait for the applause to end no we fucked it what's your name

we have Trey Harris everybody please give a big round of applause for your opening comedian in the second half Trey Harris you're not on yet

you're not on yet we'll have the break so before we do that though, five minute Q&A. It's going to be a quick fire round. Has anyone got any questions or theories they'd like to share with us? You've got a hand up. No, you've got no question. That's fine. Yes, Trey.

We have not been to Blaze Pizza in San Francisco. It's too far away. We are organising a live event at Blaze Pizza next Thursday, the 27th of October when we're going to get as many fans as possible to take competing brands of pizza to a Blaze Pizza venue and broadcast the event

on Periscope. That'll happen in Los Angeles. Hey Tim, in your last episode of the worst idea of all time, the Third Amendment, why were you lying down so much? I mean, I guess the answer to that is why anything, right? Like, why are we all in a room tonight? Why do we go to work in the morning?

Felt right. Felt right in the time. You got played, son. Question. That will be happening on American Thanksgiving, all going to plan, although I will admit. Someone came up with an idea that it would be quite funny. I'm tempering this because I shouldn't be telling you,

but I just find it so funny I'm going to tell you anyway. We were suggesting that we would do a big public announcement that we couldn't make the scheduling work, even though we've had 12 full months to figure it out, and just fuck everyone out of the second episode. We're actually going to miss the second episode of Till Death Dost Blight is the answer to that question.

Good question because that plays directly into our wallets. We do. We have two posters available this evening. One of them is a We Are Your Friends poster

designed by the champion Matthew Hemsworth. And the other is Make America Worse Again which is a tour poster for this particular tour. They're $15 each or $25 for two posters.

Make Worst Idea Cost Neutral When It Goes To America Again. That's our campaign with the posters. Cash only. Yes, question. Did Watson

move 20% faster than JT 128%? Fucking did. So now we're dealing with a hundred and... Yeah. No, I can do this.

Twenty and four and 1.3. Don't help him. No, I can't do it. The answer is yes. All of the music was faster. Correct. It's like 166-ish? Yes. Question in the middle there.

Yeah, fucking A. We sure did when the money came through. We were like, this is too good to be true. There are a lot. The fact he hasn't shown up tonight has posed a lot more questions than it has delivered answers. One of those questions is, have we mistakenly tagged a guy who actually is coming to the Portland show

as coming to this show? That's true, and if that is the case, that is hilarious. But no, there are multiple conspiracy theories we've discussed with each other, namely because his name is Patrick King, which means there could be a connection to Patrick Schwarzenegger.

There could be a connection to Michael Patrick King. That's not how names work. That is exactly how names work. I measure you, when I talk to you, first of all I have to go through the roll-on of all the Tims I know of in this country. Tim Allen. That's it. First of all, I'm always like, oh my god, I can't believe I get to meet

Tim Allen. Oh, hey Tim. More questions? Yes? No, not yet. But we've got some ideas that we're cooking up. There'll definitely be something. There'll be a podcast, and hopefully, or going to plan,

there'll be something more than a podcast. You'll get to enjoy us visually, because while we are good orally, I've got to tell you, if you look at us, we are a couple of cute little boys. I have never felt uglier as a person than coming to San Francisco everyone here is a fucking delight

if you ever go to Scandinavia you will be furious I will never go I will never go it is an affront to normalcy the whole place

is broken it's fucked we'll do two more questions before the intermission if you've got them up the back hello

are you from Brizzy we'll do two more questions before the intermission if you've got them up the back hello are you from Brizzy? where are you from? oh you mean on the third the oh oh yeah

that pizza did arrive it was bitterly disappointing what pizza are we talking about? it was from Pizza Hut on the live stream. I gave my credit card out live on the internet.

Fucking idiot. Why would you applaud that? It was a bad pizza. Better than Blaze though. Because those fucking assholes have the temerity to take all of our marketing ideas capitalise and earn money on them

and then not pay us what is rightfully ours. Fucked up. They are pigs. If you ever walk past a Blaze Pizza, by all means spit on it. If they ask you what you're doing, tell them Tim and Guy sent you. One more question before the intermission.

From the front, yes. You guys talked about Max and Chris and how he directed Captain, but do you realise that he had nothing to do with the movie? He's just an on camera psychic hey I forgot

we're supposed to be repeating all the questions the question is we always say that Maximum Joseph directed Catfish he in fact did not

direct Catfish he was like a production look at them I heard it he was a production assistant he was the

he was talent basically on camera psychic on TV show no we did not know that because it's wrong He was talent, basically. On camera, psychic, on TV show. No, we did not know that. Because it's wrong. And two, if it's not wrong, which is unlikely,

because not only do I not lie, but I don't associate with liars. I respect you. If that is the case, it would make a lot of sense because by all accounts, watching Where Are Your Friends for the 21st time at 20% faster than it's meant to be broadcast, the guy's got no fucking clue what he's doing. He's literally taping shots together and hoping that the good looking

glue contained within those shots is enough for what he is trying to assemble as a movie looks like a movie. And on that, thus concludes the Q&A. Thank you for providing the final question. God bless all of you. Trey, you feeling good about this stand-up show?

It's going to be hot shit. We've run over, so we're going to call it 15 minutes. So that means it's going to be slightly under 15 minutes. From 20 past... Try and get back in for 20 past nine. 25 past nine, the show will absolutely start. Trey will be doing his first bit of stand- and then we're going to do stand up afterwards. But we've got to... And before

because we have not said this yet thank you so much for coming tonight. Thank you. Give yourselves a big round of applause. We were really worried that no one would be here. We really appreciate it. You're the real heroes. We might not be cost neutral but we have certainly not lost as much money as it was possible for us to lose.

That's on you. Thank you so much. We'll see you guys in 15 minutes. Thank you. Classic Maximum Joseph. I agree. You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try Boners of the Heart? Actually, before we go on and introduce what today's topic is, I have some apologies I want to make about people i've mentioned in the podcast

if that's all right go ahead go for it john voight who i assume is listening i incorrectly said that you supported the vietnam war you were in fact opposed to it yeah i thought that yeah but he's since changed his mind what yeah what who retrospectively changes their mind about the vietnam war yeah he's gone conservative in his old age. And so obviously that's a huge lie I told. And I'm embarrassed and the Twittersphere exploded. As regular listeners will know that we do tell one lie in every episode though. And Trainspotters have been sending in their guesses for what lies we've been telling. Already I've told one lie in this podcast.

Really? No. That was the first one there. Oh! You got me. Damn, wordplay.