The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twenty Seven - Shadie Christmas

Episode Date: December 25, 2016

SPONSORED BY AUDIBLE.COMIt's Christmas time, Timbo and Guy - two guys watching a Max Joseph crime...Watch 27 is hot on the heaps of Santa's sleigh this year and we're joined by Batman's houseguest: Shadie. And what better time to introduce a brand new religion within the world of WAYF? Guitars, behind the scenes chicanery and finding out what Jarhead really thinks a party: These are #Just27thWatchThingsTrailer: Boners of The Heart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Twitter at Little Empire Pod. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague, a pastor.

One of them dies, that guy's screw. One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph You forget that films are supposed to have a point Hello everybody and welcome to the worst idea of all time Christmas edition Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

I would like to wish everybody in the world, not just our listeners but everyone Everyone who's out there, who's alive today Season's greetings to you all happy holidays um and uh and and that's our show thank you very much for tuning in to the worst idea have it have a great time out there stay safe on the roads always stay safe on the roads but beyond that i would recommend staying safe on the sidewalk. Stay safe in your house. Stay safe at your friends' houses, extended family's houses. Stay safe when you're riding a horse. Stay safe when mowing the lawns.

Stretch before you run or don't. Yeah, and if you're in airplanes, you want to do those exercises so you don't get deep-thrain vombosis. No, that deep vein thrombosis deep thrain bombosis that's exactly what it is is where you get to an altitude when you've been drinking too much because it's the holiday season and you start puking at 10 000 feet in the air oh have you ever thrown up on a plane i think maybe once years ago like as a as a kid um but you're gonna say as a goof it's for a laugh do you remember that flight that we took in between uh the west and east coasts of the united states that was like that was the scariest flight i've ever been on in my life. I got pretty close to vomiting on that.

It was the middle of the night, and you just fell asleep. And it was about, I don't know, whatever it is, six hours of just nonstop, pretty intense turbulence. Yeah, I find the turbulence gently rocks me to sleep. In the same way, in the bed I sleep in, gently rocks me to sleep in the same way in the bed i sleep in i've hired an army of um of just not just like people who are just five foot exactly five foot i got about four of them or i have a rotation where there's four of them and they just sort of rock my bed and make plain noises to help me sleep that is odd it's an odd use of your money it is it's really expensive i just um i feel like

we need to take a quick step back and establish some surroundings first of all old guybo and tim tim are in different places at the moment i'm uh in the little empire studios in auckland and guy where are you i am in the little Little Montgomery Empire in Christchurch. That is to say, my childhood room. Oh, is that where you were? I thought you were further down the line. You're in Chichar. Nah.

Nah, bol. I'm in my family house. See, I always wonder about this. Also, welcome to the worst idea of all time, a podcast in which Guy and myself watch and review the same movie for a year. We just watched We Are Your Friends for the 27th time but the question you were asking tim well i find it interesting because my parents move house a lot so i think i did a count up the other day and they've they've lived in something like nine or ten or maybe 11 different properties since i was

born so i don't have any of that sense of like going back to your childhood room is that a real trip out is that nostalgic and weird uh yes and no no because it has been like i'm my childhood room but i'm definitely not my childhood bed this bed is made for a house guest like and this room is made up it still has flashes of uh guy but this is very much a generic hosting room now i would say like a blank canvas the baywatch fhm poster that adorned my ceiling so i could um fall asleep yeah yeah in good company uh that's not for some reason that's been taken out of the room it's an interesting design choice actually i would have kept that there if i was um putting up i would have too it was right

next to a gold member poster also on my ceiling uh and underneath that was a rat race poster which was also on my ceiling i got the f8 gem poster from a magazine and the other ones i got from the the local video store and isn't that guy montgomery's three wants in life comedy animated animals and beautiful beach people oh no no he's a simple rat race wasn't animated animals oh sorry i for some reason my head went to ratatouille yeah rat race was rowan atkinson was in that day yeah he had narcolepsy yeah uh so it's not nostalgic in that it sort of feels like an adult version of where I grew up. But being in Christchurch and being in the house in general, certainly. Certainly nostalgic.

Certainly feel very far removed from all of my responsibilities and adult trimmings in the real world outside of this sort of nostalgia bubble. Well, look, we've talked entirely too much about things that aren't we are your friends, so I'd like to get to the meat of the issue and discuss this piece of cinema with you that a man named Maximum Joseph put together with a band of merry men and women, Emily Radich-Kowski.

Do you think they were merry? Do you think that it was a good experience on set? Yeah, I do, and I think everyone was bringing a slightly different energy. Allow me to paint you a picture of how it was going, okay? Johnny Depp, every day, like a storm cloud, would arrive on set in the grimmest of moods, so focused, so utterly convinced that this was Oscar bait and this was his big break into the industry.

And I feel most of the crew, not all, but most of the crew, knew what this film was. It was Zac Efron's flash speedy car to get to the freeway of movie credibility. Now, unfortunately, that car did careen off the track slightly. He's all right. He didn't die. It wasn't like a fiery crash crash but he did get a little bit beat up over it a little bit and the car got fucking totaled yeah probably just like a more

of a uh shaky like terrifying reminder of your own mortality than actually any physical damage done just that feeling that you have after a near miss we're like whoa exactly especially because zach efron like every other journey he had taken in a car, had been super successful. He was in a very pretty car called High School Musical that went very well. Everyone loved that. He had been in some comedy cars before, like some tiny little minis that barely fit him. And he did pretty well in those cars. Those cars served him alright. And then he jumped in this artsy car And fucking blew up on him It's no good So anyway, Johnny Depp's coming in Dark Zac Efron's coming into the set Pretty fucking carefree to be honest

Like a good jovial energy on set He's the guy shaking everyone's hand He remembers everyone's name He's asking about details that you've dropped in conversation previously How's your sister doing? Have the test results come back yet? That sort of a thing. Now, the one inescapable thing on the set of We Are Your Friends is fucking,

that's so bad, I've forgotten his name. That's how hungover I am. James Reid from The Feelers. You cannot wrestle the guitar out of his hands if unless even on the like um lights camera bit he's still got it it's not until a split second before maximum joseph yells action that james reed throws the guitar out of shotains a lot because that's why he always looks, for the first second or frame even, less than a second, he always looks slightly confused. Yeah.

Because he's just had to find a place to biff this guitar in a big hurry. See, this to me doesn't make any sense. Why would he not? If he knows he's going to get rid of it anyway, why to the last second? Why not? Because he's just married to the thing. He wants to be with the guitar all the time he's i gotta say in this day and age i mean you don't want to get a reputation for being a diva on set sure the kid's got chops sure but i mean is he irreplaceable in the movie

i would say certainly not i would say very replaceable. But there's something about this sort of artistic temperament that Maximum Joseph really respects. There's something he digs about it. See, now that is a rookie first directing mistake, right? Isn't it? You mistake all of the temper tantrums and attitude problems of your actors or your movie stars as like um evidence they're a troubled genius you know instead instead of seeing these things for what

like instead of seeing just the ongoing destruction of several very expensive guitars you see someone who's focused on their work and instead of telling them to get the hell off the set because they're being super disruptive and like injuring quite a lot of sound guys you say i love that how can i channel that into my direction yeah but it is a great trick isn't it if you can't be good at something just be big and be bold and you'll trick people into thinking you've you've got some sort of artistic flair and talent if you can't be good at something be upset at it which suggests that you expect more of yourself and therefore you are good at it just not right now those people are tiring to be around i know those people i work with those people sometimes i embody that person and it's just tiresome it's bothersome and it's

tiresome so they were they were a band of merry men and women on set yeah uh but do you think because they all came in with these different energies and maximum joseph did somewhat of a poor job of like reigning it and like his ad obviously would be like james we've got to do something about these guitars flying all left right center all over set like it's a real dangerous work environment. He's like, no, that's not how I run my set. You know that, actors are actors. Do you think that because of all these different energies

and sort of the lack of a guiding voice maybe to get them all to see what they're working towards, that the merriment turned towards hostility at any point? Or do you think that they somehow maintained? This is the thing about we are your friends. First of all gotta you gotta question the premise are we friends were we friends before are we friends now i think the answer is probably no um because you're asking what the mood became on set the answer to that is there is no cohesive mood everyone is in their own distinct little bubble all right so you're telling me that beyond making his feature film directorial debut,

Maxim Joseph also was running some sort of meditation or psychological retreat the whole time they were recording, where constantly both the actors themselves and the characters they were playing and everyone working in the crew had to ask themselves whether or not they were friends with the people immediately around them. Yeah, every fucking day. playing and everyone working in the crew had to ask themselves whether or not they were friends with the people immediately around them yeah every fucking day i'll go further as well i came up with a theory um about maximum joseph while we're talking about him um i came up with it just now oh wow good job tim that is this maximum joseph was going home every night you know how he made catfish

and that would have kept him real busy right so we didn't know this but kind of everything in maximum joseph's life was leading up to that catfish moment and he just was real focused on nailing that and he knocked it out of the park with minimum joseph his friend and they did well they were just spending every waking moment like promoting it and editing it and shooting it and getting a new season done and planning it out. And so Maximum Joseph hadn't actually seen a movie until he got given the reins for We Are Your Friends until he got that contract.

So he's very quickly been trying to watch as many films as humanly possible. Oh, I've got to, hold on. My friend said Shady's here. Guy. Oh, I love Shady. I'll let him in. I'll just let him in. Hold on. as many films as humanly possible I've got it hold on my friend my friends at Shady's here guy he's I love shady lumber I'll let him in I just let him in home hey shady are you out of here all right oh that's a shame good morning shading and this will just be hold on Shady is our friend from Los Angeles He's just such a peach Hey Shady

Hey buddy Hey did you have a good night in Auckland New Zealand last night? Yeah I was talking to the mic I don't know how this actually Put one of these on Come and sit Have a brief chat to go

What did you do? Hey Hey Have I got you? We had a wicked night last night What did you do? Hey Hey Have I got you? We had a wicked night last night Hey, there's great news What did you do? What fun stuff?

We got fish and chips And a fried potato thing And a donut we didn't eat Oh, no Tons of beer and whiskey Did you like the fried potato thing? It was delicious If I may say so I haven't met Natalia

but I trust we'd get along very well she's lovely she's also a peach I'm so sad to miss you but I'll be back so far New Zealand is incredible. Yeah, man, where are you going now? We're in town for Christmas with her parents, but we've been to Piha, Pahia, Russell, Lee. Oh, baby.

Yeah, then we're doing Carmandel, Rotorua, Taupo, Taranaki for New Year, so we're doing carmendal rotarua topo taranaki for new year so we're doing a big tour yeah that's you're covering a lot of ground yeah you know it's super cool the beauty of this small coastal nation and so where are you going today today we're just uh going to the french market and then christmas eve with her. Ah, you're a class act. Yeah, it's going to be fun. Tim and I just watched We Are Your Friends. Have you seen that movie? I have seen that movie, yes.

What did you think of it? Well, I'm glad that Tim seems to be enjoying it more than previous seasons. I actually, when I heard you announce that, I thought you were going to get bored of it real quick, but it sounds like it's holding up a little. No, to be fair to say, we got bored of it. Like, it'll happen to anything. Well, no, of course.

No, I mean, I struggled the first time. You struggled to watch it? You didn't buy into the story? I did not buy into the story. It was very... What were your grievances with the story the story well I found all the characters really intolerable um which isn't which isn't a great thing for a movie um sadly I actually know a lot of the crew because it filmed all over LA

um and they uh they were eye-rolling through every take. Oh, they were? Yeah. That's perfect, because Tim and I were just talking about the production elements of the movie and how we thought the general energy was on set. So you mean to suggest Tim called them a band of merry men and women. Would you agree with that assessment? I think at a certain point they just had to like buy into it otherwise uh they'd be pretty miserable but yeah i guess when you think about it in those terms like

it's the the reality that there are people working on all these shows and movies and the percentage of them which come out great is so small yeah like there's got to be a lot of people who are just having to buy into stuff they actually don't believe in because otherwise your life is misery yeah that's why i got out of film because i made like 40 movies um you know as a below the line crew member freelancing i was just taking whatever i could get and i think two of them anyone ever saw and then what were those well i i worked on taken two and the artist which were great experiences but uh everything else i I mean, I had a habit of, I've worked on a movie called Lumpy, Meth Head. Like, I just, like, it's, my resume is just comical.

And is, yeah, Lumpy and Meth Head as a combo certainly sounds like you're doing some pretty interesting stuff in your early 20s. Yeah. All right, Shady. All right. All right, cool. Okay.

I was going to ask you one more question, Shady. He's going gonna ask you one more question shady he's gonna ask me one more question he says so your your experience on say uh taken two is it a lot of like or on say no lumpy and meth here to be examples is everyone just like stressed out and just barely getting by or they were just like well this is going to be a anyway so we can kind of just lax it up oh it really it really varies like a lot of the time as a below the line crew member you sometimes get excited about what you're working on but a lot especially in independent film most times it's going to be pretty shit. And you just kind of treat it... I hate that I'm being recorded saying this. You treat it as a job just to get through it, you know?

Yeah, yeah. It's hard to care. But then every now and again you get on a project, especially when you're not in control of what you're working on, you get on a project and it's truly inspirational. Like The Artist was a great example. And it's such a great feeling. And you kind of hold on to it

because it has to get you through the next 20, projects that are going to be done i see so you you like ration out the nourishment that that gives you to get you through methods three rise of the methods yeah uh hey well shady have a aunt natalia who i haven't met but as i said earlier i trust is wonderful we're having excellent time in in New Zealand I hope we cross paths yeah I'll see you soon or on the next one yeah man alright take care mate

bye alright Montgomery you got Timbo back that's good I like shady though I gotta tell you and it's just so good to have an American voice

on the podcast gives it a real air of authenticity i find yeah have a great time at the french market you too all of my christmas love come back to l.a soon i was very hungover thanks to you too this morning this was a real painful watch bye guys hey tim it's all about friends all about friends, isn't it, guy? Isn't it? Now do you ask yourself, are you friends with Shady? Are you friends with Natalia?

Yeah, I am. Okay, there's no room for doubt there. Absolutely not. Your studio door makes the most satisfying... Clunk? Noise. Sort of the jittery vibrating noise when you hear it. Yeah. To hear it ringing in

the headphones was very satisfying so um so guy what did you think of the movie oh let me let me throw that at you dude yeah yeah please uh it's always interesting let me ask you a question my brother you already have you you don't need to ask it again um it's interesting when you watch it by yourself after so long in the warm bosom of company uh because you like you become sort of not necessarily tolerant of certain moments but there are moments which you know might frust which might rustle you more than me and then accordingly i feel some of the rustling and then there are other moments where it's like i noticed that i noticed things or just put put in my absence do you get pissed off on my behalf no but there are definitely like i said last week i think there

are definitely always moments where i'm like i see the movie i like there are moments that we've shared which can't be unshared and moments we've seen together that can't be unseen. And so, like, moments with, like, the nightclub owner, right? The guy who doesn't know that there's an outside to his nightclub. Where's my 500, bro? Yeah, and then prints off the shitty music. He's like, don't play any of the songs on the slits.

Save firepower for Mr. Reed. And so, to me me every time that happens even when you're not there he was always oblivious to the fact that he can go outside and then there's a big line of people there and the only song that he's printed out

that Zicoli's not allowed to play is Firepower so he says don't play any of the songs on that list save Firepower for Mr. Reid and that list is literally the word Firepower repeated ad nauseum. And so there's stuff like that. But then there's other stuff this week.

It's a line that's always got my attention at the start. Because Jarhead, at the start of the movie, he's just spitting. He's shitting facts and sweating stats. And he says 99% of the people in the world are looking for a party one percent of people are the party you got to be that and he says it with such supreme authority and meaning like he really believes in it but have you ever noticed that whenever any of his core group of friends like leaves the party to go and do their own thing it's just absolute panic stations for and it's like dude you are not embodying the spirit of the mantra by which he's you know supposedly live huh he's looking like in those moments he's

looking for a party you're calling him a big old hypocrite yeah he's not being i mean no one's beyond reproach but jahid he just acts with such confidence right that's his that's his role yeah uh it's crazy to me that's he's like you know when zakali leaves and he's running around the bloody club being like where's what's happening where's where's cole here's my take on that i reckon that is a party for jahid jahid lives and thrives on stress and that is his idea of a party is just like running around like a headless chook as we say in new zealand just chasing around trying to find his friend he would way rather be doing that than than dancing on a dance floor not a great mover not a natural mover is our jarhead i I see. Skrill, on the other hand, a gifted dancer, but not our Jarhead.

Yeah. Yeah, so I've misinterpreted Jarhead's version of a good time. Yeah, exactly. I think that's what's happening. I guess it can be hard. You know when people, their thing is stressing out and being worried and panicking? Yeah. I guess i've always

been like quite bad at reading that as enjoyment i guess just because the nature of their enjoyment is to look like they're not enjoying themselves common misconception yeah you live you live and you learn don't you uh and like then so the other thing I thought In Addition to that with Jarhead Was I wanted to see A scene after the pool After the looking pool when he tackles that guy into the pool And he goes you wanna

You wanna know something funny bro You're dressed like fucking Hillary Clinton And then tackles him into the pool And then I just imagine like On the drive home all he's thinking about is how that insult was like fundamentally flawed because in no way was that guy dressed like hillary clinton and so for the entire scene after that when he rides when he rides home in the car with squirrel and zicoli and johnny depp and they're all getting the

upholstery all wet and probably like quite stinky because it's warm in the valley. So that's going to bake in, and there's just going to be a moist smell in the car. So he's probably upset about that. I think mostly what he's upset about is tanking his punchline. Like, great setup, great tackle into the pool, but he's just inconsolable and beside himself. It was like, I got a sense of humor you want to know something

funny bro you're dressed like hillary fucking clinton like we've said it before that guy's not dressed like hillary clinton and it's never occurred to me until now that jahid knows that and so i guess what i would have liked to see is just more of a vulnerable side to jahid so i miss i mistook his version of partying for stressing out it turns out those are the same thing but I think he's he's a thoughtful guy and in the same way all of us are upset when we try and insult someone and it doesn't go perfectly and you think of the perfect insult you know over and over for the rest of the day yeah I wanted to see Jah like instead of squirreling down the beach being like oh god we've got crazy, I want to see Jarhead pacing around his room, brainstorming other possible burns.

What would you give that guy? He's dressed in a sports, like a sports coat almost. I've got a sense of humor, bro. You're dressed like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo at a formal occasion. Something like that. Something pretty snippy, something pretty punchy. Yeah. The top half of you is dressed like a 16-year-old at his first ball,

and the bottom half of you is dressed like a fuckwit on Venice Beach. It's probably a bit wordy. No, that's good. No, maybe it's the top half of you is dressed like a 16-year-old at his school ball and the bottom half is dressed like the same 16-year-old but at a different social occasion at the beach. Spicy. Spicy meatball.

That's a good insult because you're calling him a 16-year-old twice but the same 16-year-old. That is a great burn and I like the punctuation being the throw him into the pool because there's no rhythm to that joke it's too long it's too ungainly and then it's like he's given up and like fuck this boom and also i'm stronger than you yeah not only am i mentally running rings around you 16 year old twice over But I'm physically capable of beating your 16 year old body Into that there looking pool

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And the best is Steve Harvey. And the best is hosted by the best. That's audible.com. And we're back on the worst idea of all time um i've snapped out of it i was sponsored trance it was crazy it took over hey you needn't worry about that tim because i've got all sorts of points to raise oh boy uh so another thing i noticed in the movie this week which i thought would it makes for an interesting take is when uh zicoli's djing at james reed's pool party and uh somaly comes over and just like you know this party's looking a little stiff cole first of all if i was cole

i'd be like yeah well it's your fucking party so sort it out yeah but uh it's your shitty friends but then he instead interprets that and probably rightly so as a challenge he's sort of going to prove himself yeah and uh it's like you're singing he says you're saying i need to amp it up a little and she goes you can try but these people don't dance before midnight and i think zicoli interprets that as a doubling down on the challenge to be like get these people dancing before midnight little does he realize that all of these people don't dance before midnight on religious grounds.

Oh, no. And for him to go to the trouble of making them dance before midnight, sure, it's going to feel good for them for a second, but as soon as they realize that they've broken rank and they are going to have to spend an eternity in the fiery pits of hell, you know, as decided by whichever religion they follow. What do you think their window is?

It's got to be after midnight, but when does it stop? You know, 6 a.m.? No, midnight to 4 a.m. Yeah, the witching hours. And then you can still stay awake and converse, but it's just no dancing. Right. An interesting take on a religion is there any other

little features of this religion that you know about yeah i i know all about the religion uh obviously who do they worship god um but they're like it's that that's pretty much the only boring uniting factor well no because it's it's all an iteration of God. There's no different name for it. They don't worship Java like some of our friends. They worship the idea of God. But it's almost like Baha'i in that they are welcoming to people of all

denominations and faiths. They're more about realizing the idea of God or some greater presence. I guess it's that openness which makes it so weird they're so strict about this dancing rule heathens well they're not that strict because they're not exactly the biggest club bangers in fact i go so far as to say a couple of those tracks are clangers that old cicole's busting out there and they're getting their freak on they want to rebel against

this religious institution that they've been inside of for so long well the most confusing element will be after they all dance and suddenly midnight strikes and at midnight they realize that they're already dancing and that's when they sort of you know have to acknowledge their own guilt yes in a in a sort of uh panicked fervor they all turn to zikoli the crying dj DJ as their new leader. Not necessarily rebellion, but as like a cult-like figure who has powers that mean that they can forget their responsibilities to God. And so accordingly, they start worshipping him. Meanwhile, he's still just on the quest

to make the perfect song. So he can't really satisfy their need for a... And guy, isn't that life? Isn't that the world we live in, that everyone's on their own path, you know? You've got Zicole just trying to make a hit track, and you've got a bunch full of fuckwits, a bunch full of real slack-jawed idiots.

That's the collective noun for a lot of fuckwits, is a bunch full. Yeah, a bunch full. Just dancing against their religion and then adopting zack efron as their new head in a sentence you would say a bunch full of fuckwits have deep thrain vombosis yeah that would that would be that would be the articulation of this particular episode of the podcast i um feel like that hangover is coming coming for me hey you know when that happens you outrun it for a bit and then it

goes you can't you cannot outrun it you just cannot outrun a hangover there's no way you can drown it though and i haven't had enough water i think is the problem um look business business i'm all about business there's business to attend to Part of that business is the reason for the season Which of course is gift giving Sentimental gifts Self serving gifts It's time for Getting sentimental

With James Reid Of the feelings Hard things to pull off over Scott The feelings feelings very hard I would say we did not do it once again but it won't stop us trying yeah I like that

we should really just delegate it to one but we're like no no it's a friendly activity among friends Guy what's in that MacBook Pro box I'm loving you Tim I'm so glad you asked because I know exactly what it is. Good. This is before James Reid has been betrayed.

This is before he's outwardly discovered that Somerly and Zicoli have gone behind his back and made sweet, sweet love with him in a Las Vegas hotel room. The beast of two backs. Sensual love. We do not see any P&V. We do not see the impregnation which led to the immortal and terrifyingly good-looking Kevin. And we're sort of led to believe that in spite of this huge betrayal

later on, James Reid's belief in Zicole as a DJ is so great and his love of electronic dance music and his wanting to be able to foster and mentor this kid to greatness is so great that he's willing to bury all that and forgive him and give him his opening slot at Summerfest. Which is crazy to me because apart from making one song and playing it in a nightclub and they were both shit-faced on PCP, there's actually no evidence from James Reid that What's A Coley's Making

is any good, right? Yeah. None. And so what is in that box is a small USB stick, a small USB stick. And what's on the stick is literally the worst song that James Reid could imagine being made. Like the worst song. Oh boy.

And he gives it to Zicoli and he's like, it's actually a self-serving gift. It's DJing software. But what happens is when he puts that usb into his computer uh james reed can control the music that comes out of the computer from his phone it's like a trojan yeah so it's like it's not he didn't do it because he he he wasn't suspicious of zicole but it was like he's quite a paranoid guy james reed and so he gives him the usb because it's like look if it goes to shit at least as long as he's got the usb i've got some control over him yeah and so

in remembering this when zikoli comes over to like apologize and complain that squirrel died even though the movie didn't deserve to kill off one of its characters uh james reed's like you know what you know i understand it's you're going through a tough time and then when he calls up and he's like look i think i've got something for summerfest james reed is like yes absolutely you have something for summerfest you are totally my opening act he's not forgiven zicoly one jot that is fucking dynamite this is probably the best fucking dynamite this is probably the best one of these i've heard this is so fantastic that's right it not only like enhances the plot it fills in plot gaps like and how is it that that song is such hot garbage exactly why is that crying because he's trying so hard to like mix out this this this turd of a song while he's afforded his one big break in his career and that's exactly why would james reed

be so quick to forgive zach if the answer is folks he didn't he never did forgive him the dude's fucking girlfriend yeah and that's why he's so keen to introduce him to everyone at the gig He's like You gotta He's like I'm about to fucking light this guy up On the biggest stage of his life His name is Zuccoli

Write it down You're gonna need to remember that Once you hear this track He had so much fun making the track as well He was like What is the worst stuff you could put into a song? Oh, I know. Just recordings of coins on tables from your phone.

That would be a very funny thing to hear in a song. So he put it in. Yes. Guy Montgomery, you've done it again. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of James Reid. And I'm disappointed it took us over half a season's worth of watches

to finally stumble into this narrative thread. I almost feel like we can retire this pathway now. Like, I feel like we're at the end of the journey. We've reached the destination. Well, speaking of business, Tim. Yes. And, you know, incoming, outgoing expenses, exporting, importing, you know. I know last week you had some pretty detailed and speculative theories

as to what exactly is going on down at the Page Factory. Gold Star Realty Solutions. Yep. The Page Harrell Gold Star Realty Solutions Factory. exactly is going on down at uh the page factory realty solutions yep the page harrell gold star realty solutions factory and that is he's an alchemist yes because he's building a supercomputer with gold yeah yeah he's i mean he's a he's a he's a wild and crazy guy i i had another idea what because what was the front the front was the realty the front was it was the realty solution right is the property company that's right yeah i think he's buried another front inside of the property front okay uh i think he's he's covering his tracks twice and it actually ties in quite nicely with uh the opening sort question, I think, you asked at the beginning of this

audio essay we're providing, which was, who are my friends? Are we your friends? Are you my friend? And Paige's business is, in essence, calling up people as their friend. So calling up people, striking a familiar tone. You're not pushing any agenda. You're not talking about anything in particular, but you're just calling up with the illusion of familiarity and friendliness. Time is money. What you're taking off of these people by doing this is their time.

What do you do with that time? You take it to the bank. You bank it as money. Right. So he's taking audio recordings from these phone calls, and then he collates all of the recordings at the end of the day. He takes them down to the bank. He says, here are some strangers' time.

I would like to bank this as cash. And at the bank, the first time he did that, do you know what they said? What? Absolutely not. like to bank this as cash and at the bank the first time he did that do you know what they said what absolutely not these are small cassette tapes uh with illegally recorded phone calls on them you've lost it mate do you know what page harrell said what do you say you're absolutely correct i'm sorry i'm a bit frazzled at the moment working on a supercomputer and he left he left the bank okay very good very good so i mean it's not really you've got to try and that's page's whole ethos you've got to try these things you've got to get out there if you've got an idea you got it you're going to throw it at the bank chuck it at those tellers put the ball in their court see what they do exactly you know and if what they say to you

is this isn't money you have to respectfully acknowledge that and say do you know what you're right that isn't money you're correct a micro cassette is not legal tender in this country if you don't ask you don't get that's right it's fucking right man um listen i feel like we're in the closing stretch now um i've got to go get in an airplane there's there's uh two bits of business bits of obligation um and bits of joy that we need to get to real quick and that is one of the tears on our patreon is that you get a 30 second ad on the podcast if you pay for that um two people have have climbed the mountain to that tier and i like that had anything particular to say so they've just kind of said say whatever so we now get 60 seconds to shout them out and say

whatever which makes a huge difference from the last 40 minutes where we've said exactly what we needed to say now we can say what we want to say oh okay uh well tim i'll let you take it away oh boy um okay first of all let me name the two people the first person is maureen johnson and let's just talk about her let's just talk about gorgeous maureen find her on twitter follow her read her books she's an author that's right friend podcast young adult fiction do you have a young adult in your life maybe a grown child who's on the cusp of becoming a young adult and you think to myself yourself i think to myself i'm always thinking about your kids i think god i wish your kid would read more

and you think you know i wish my kid would read more as well well maureen johnson has thought that thought and pretty much filled that gap in the market she writes some of the best young adult fiction out there and you can buy it give it to your kid watch them grow very intelligent start out thinking you out maneuvering you start siphoning money out of your bank account taking control into their own hands i mean maybe it's getting sick this is see this always happens guy you keep talking and it gets dark and sinister it always starts at a good place and we always find the other person who's contributed money to to look all all i'm saying is god get them one one book do not buy them more than one maureen johnson book buy them one book buy them 13 little blue envelopes okay and then let them read it

it's always so convoluted with you isn't it And cut them off from any other of Maureen's books because those kids are going to grow very smart very quickly. I would also like to say thank you. No, you're done, guy. You're done. I was going to say, take it away, Tim. It's supposed to be a 30-second ad. This is why they should send us scripts.

Yeah, it's true. The other person who's contributed to that amount is my own brother, John. And I feel like part of it is him just going look at this power i may have wheeled over you and i say to him good job john you done great but then he didn't he didn't have anything to see me anyway so this is an acknowledgement that he is my brother and a good man for those of you who don't know john michael batt was born on the 22nd of september 1935, and is a former Australian jurist who was a Court of Appeal Justice

at the Supreme Court of Victoria. He didn't retire from court until 2005. So, John, I mean, God knows how you- That's good innings. Yeah. How old am I? We respect you. Oh, boy.

All right, bro. Listen, this is it. I am your friend, but I'm'm also like what do you want from me i've got i want you to tell me what you specifically enjoyed about the movie this week oh boy i can't believe i missed that out it was actually see i used to have really stringent rules about the shining light and now i'm kind of coming over to wait your way of thinking there is in the sequence where zikoli is djing and it starts going into some slow motion sequences with people um during the bit where the devotees of the religion where they can't dance before

midnight but suddenly they're willing to throw that all away for baywatch's zach efron um there's a woman who fucking barrels the camera and i saw it today and i've never seen it before and it was glorious and that is good it didn't even take me out of the film. It was just like, it almost put me deeper in. She was looking me in the eye and I was like, I see you, you see me. This is cool. I always feel like if you catch them, especially in these worst idea movies, when you're halfway through, I always read them looking at the camera

as a cry for help from the inside. Stop. They're like, if you stop watching this, we can stop doing this acting every week. Yeah. Terrifying. It's very confusing. I don't know who's holding who captive.

I don't know if the movie's holding us captive or we're holding all of the people captive every week. For me, Tim? Yeah, that's quite a philosophical question. I feel like we are the jailers. We are our own jailers. We're all in the same cell. My shining light is when Zicole wakes up and starts listening to his phone recordings,

he's lying there listening to one called emily voicemail and then the other ones for the corner just called sound recording too yeah uh and he's lying there in his bed and there's a shot like a wider shot of him lying on the bed and they get a few of those and as well they should because watching zack hebron lying in bed is a real one of life's little pleasures um behind him he sleeps next to a window and the window has like a series of those sort of metallic venetian blinds you know and there's always three cords on the blinds um there's one to go all the way up and down and there's one to like tilt the blinds downwards and one to tilt them back upwards and they always break and at the bottom right quarter of the set of venetian blinds

it's like angled up on this like they don't go all the way down anymore they're broken and i thought i can relate to that so i don't know who i don't know who dressed that i don't know who dressed that set but they really they really hit a home run then. Fucking hell. You took me on a real journey there, guy. Congrats to you. And on that, I think we should wrap up because otherwise I'm going to miss a flight.

I want to say happy holidays to everybody. Merry Christmas if you do that one. Happy Hanukkah if that's your jam. If you're an atheist humanist Just fucking you know Do you Lighten up I would say Happy Kwanzaa

That's probably the extent of the holidays That I know that happen around this time It's probably thousands Happy birthday to anyone celebrating A birthday near Christmas. May you get two gifts. Classic Maximum Joseph. I agree. You forget that films and his name is Drunkie Dad. Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree.

Ah. You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try Boners of the Heart? Boners of the Heart. Yeah, your pubes fall out when you get old. That's dope. Perfect for eating piss, right?

that's dope perfect for eating puss right perfect for munching on some puss munching on some geriatric puss yeah fucking get out there and get that puss geriatrics oh that's dope i hope that there are old people all across the world right now who are just fucking munching on each other's pusses and in pains on each step with peloton from their pop runs to walk and talks you define what it means to be a runner whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in.

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