The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Friends 01

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

Let’s discuss the nature of time - a topic that permeates the near decade and a half history of this god forsaken podcast series. Tim and Guy are talking about YouTube, Guy’s hair and most importa...ntly they’re back in the mailbag exploring how different municipalities experience time and briefly, how the luddites might be back (hooray)! Huge shout out to our mate's series Bryn and Kura’s Singles ClubJoin us for video and bonus content on the Substack Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Tim here, if you want to see me in the flesh and you're in New Zealand or Australia, good news. I'm coming to Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney, Auckland and Wellington for the comedy festivals. Please buy some tickets now at timbat.co.n.z. What do you think of the digs, this sort of seat up? It's a little different from what we normally do. It's nice. I like it more on the singles than the... like I like our frames as just Tim and Guy some stackers will be able to see what you're talking about
Starting point is 00:00:42 yeah the video yeah yeah well that's singles it's a little TV term folks that's a little showbiz magic yeah it's a little bit of razzle dazzle the singles are like the chairs what's a single guy I single is um it's just someone who is unlovable um that's so bad because my mind and went to a singles club featuring our two friends.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Well, if you're interested, Kuro and Brin's singles club is dropping. They made an amazing web series. Season one came out, I think, two years ago about sort of being in their... Looking for love. Mid to late 30s and being single, and they went on some funny, like, dating experiences,
Starting point is 00:01:23 and they traveled up and down the country trying to find out why and who would want them. And then they went away... What a great way of putting it. Why and who would want them? They went away. and they got funding for a second season and in between the first and the second season
Starting point is 00:01:39 I think the first episode of the second season Cuda is now pregnant and Bryn has found Simon as well which is so funny to me it's like yeah we get it yeah and then season 2 it's like fucking see you later
Starting point is 00:01:56 there's a documentary about I did have a coffee with the producer of the series and yeah they were going Yeah, we're going to get a bit of heat on the title of the show, I think, for this second season. But anyway, check that out if you're in New Zealand or have a very powerful VPN. Yeah. But single, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Oh, wait, or is it just on YouTube? It must be for everyone. It's on YouTube. Oh, yeah, sick. Why would we geoblock? Why are we geoblo? What's up with that? It drives me crazy.
Starting point is 00:02:24 It reminds me, what it is, I think, is that so when I worked at Media Works many years ago, a company that barely exists, no, no, no, it's doing fine. Does it still exist? Yeah, it does. TRN is the other one that turned into NZ. Speaking for a big media conglomerate in New Zealand called MediaWorks is a young boy of 21. And they keep doing daft shit like building their own video player because they were like, no, we're going to put our own ads on it.
Starting point is 00:02:52 It makes billions of dollars. And what would happen is it would just never ever work. It would never deliver, A, ads because no one bought any ads on a platform that does work, or B, the video. And I was always just like, someone solved this problem already. Bang it on YouTube. You know what I mean? I mean, it's sort of like, it's an inevitability.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Everything is flowing towards YouTube now. Yeah. And I'm actually like, I don't know, surprisingly down with that. I think it's all right. I mean, I've said it before. It'll outlast. The alternative is terrible. It'll outlast all the streamers and social media platforms is my belief.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Although it's actually, given that I haven't engaged with new media, I guess, in the way that everything's going. I actually can't make forecasts anymore because I'm coming from a place of absolute ignorance. YouTube still seems good to me. Yeah. I will say, you know, geo-blocking is meant to, like the, we just finished the third Australian season of spelling, we just finished going out on broadcast TV in Australia. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:53 And I am, from the feedback I get in people messaging me and observing where the messages are coming from in the world. I'm confident that the audience for that show is not in Australia. And therefore, give the people what they want. And what they want is Guy Montgomery's spelling bee. Put it. Like if it was in, uh, in Boise, Idaho. Bring it to Brazil. Like, all people want is, you know, is like anyone to visit Brazil. That's one of their big, um, do you reckon you could do spelling bee in Brazil? I couldn't. You know, the, why not? I don't speak Portuguese for a still. This is the noose that you've tied, well, not noose.
Starting point is 00:04:34 You've been hoisted on your own partard with the title of your show. No, the dream is like, candid yourself into a corner. The dream is non-English speaking territories pick up the format. Do you get called Guy if you host the show? Is it kind of like 007 as a designation rather than a name? No, no, no, no, no, it's first name, Guy Montgomery's common spelling bee. And that is an unbreakable rule.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Really? Yeah, so if you were host. Edress Albers, Guy Montgomery's spelling group. And that's a big non-negotiable for me. But imagine like, imagine if, you know, I went on holiday in Portugal for crying out loud. I'm imagining it. Turn on the hotel TV. And there's some Portuguese version of me.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Yeah. Amazing. And a 70 set with that Thomas Cottle design B behind them. Shout out. Sick days. That would be so nice. Hey, how you been, guy? You see me such a lovely photo of you today.
Starting point is 00:05:25 I really like that. Yeah, I had to get new, yeah, I had to get new photos taken. just seems ridiculous thing to say because, you know, we've all got very high-spec phones. You could take photos all the time. This is where I keep telling me. It's fucking Ben McGogan, man. Can you someone with an iPhone to take a headshot
Starting point is 00:05:43 so I can put you on a poster for fuck sake? There's like one photo that exists of them from like eight years ago. Well, this is the problem I was coming up against. There are photos of me that exist from years ago that are being used on... It's actually on the Australian panel show have been paying attention.
Starting point is 00:05:58 And then at the start they go, tonight Tim Bat Ben McGugan and a photo comes over you Guy Montgomery and an old photo like one of the best photos
Starting point is 00:06:10 that's been taken of me in the history of me was on screen and the person I was sitting next who turned to me and they were like you do not look like
Starting point is 00:06:16 oh hey now off camera and being funny but I was like you know to be fair she said it about her own photo as well
Starting point is 00:06:24 and I was like that is 100% true right it is time and you were putting on a gig you said can I get a photo of you and I said just find one on the internet. I was like I should have a new tranche.
Starting point is 00:06:33 When was the last time you got headshots done? Three or four years ago. Right. Which is not crazy. Before you were a father guy. In the world of a man losing his hair, I'm lying. And so... Hey, can I ask, where are you at with that?
Starting point is 00:06:47 Because you mentioned a little while ago it was floating around in your head that you might get... Get a... What are they called? A hair train spine or something like that. I've got a new approach. Gone? that nature on its course. Fuck, yeah, brother.
Starting point is 00:07:02 I'm like, I'm all in on, I'm not doing regain, I'm not taking pills. Good. Like, let's see how I'm meant to look. Do you know what? So I'm on the fence at the moment. I've got an orthodontal appointment in a few weeks.
Starting point is 00:07:17 I've got to make a decision if I'm going to get braces to fix this guy. This guy's been with me for so long. Oh, for those listening and not watching, I've got a tooth that sticks out. Yeah, yeah. And I've always reaped it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:27 That's part of the Timbad experience. It is. but I'm on the fence I'm like do I get braces or do I let it ride? I think it's different I think it's like
Starting point is 00:07:36 what's different is that a lot of people you know if you can scrape together the funds or your family cam and you're younger
Starting point is 00:07:42 they take care of business you know yeah TCOB take care of business Oh okay genuinely struggled with that one
Starting point is 00:07:51 they TCOB you know when you're teenagers I think I think braces is I was supposed to get braces but I was supposed to get braces
Starting point is 00:07:58 when I was a teenager but playing trumpet at the time. You can't play trumpet if he's so... I mean, I can see a trumpet in the room, so you're going to have to give it up again anyway. But no, I think, I think braces is all good. I think, and I also support anyone getting hair transplants.
Starting point is 00:08:13 I think that's awesome. Sure. But I'm like, so I think, do what you want. Like, if you really want to sort it out and have a clean traditional... That's not helpful to me. This is saying, I'm on the fence. Yeah. Oh, yeah, do what you want.
Starting point is 00:08:24 I think do it. If you're thinking about it, and it's at this point in life, and you're seriously still on the fence, It's like you obviously want to do it. That is sort of where my head's at. You just have to live with the inconvenience and the, you know, like I think the right, the thing that you want to do and the thing that's going to stop you wondering whether or not you should do it is doing it.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Yeah. Adult braces. Adult braces. Age 40. If it's good enough for our Lord and Savior, Tom Cruise. You know you've been podcasting too long when the conversation is, should I get braces and I'm going to embrace going bald? It's like, fucking take these boys out to pasture. I could be 17 and having the braces conversation.
Starting point is 00:08:56 And put a gun through their head. my theory look and this is my theory it's for no one else it is my theory that is to say it belongs to me yeah this is my theory that is a Monty Python quote from a city we used to as children in terms of adding on to the we should not be podcasting anymore making a fucking reference of 1970s British comedy but it's like it's one that bled through to the family because it was a someone who was a woman as professor called a elk who had a theory about the brontosaurus and It's like five minutes of praying, we're like, this is my theory. That is his hip logs to me.
Starting point is 00:09:32 And then the theory is, the protosaurus is very, very, very thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle and then thin once again. Anyhow, my theory for me is if I embrace what's happening. So let's see, you know, let's see what I'm meant to look like. If you lose the hair, you've got to keep the rig tight. Yeah, dude. I'm not going out like that, you know. But you're a man who does keep the rig tight.
Starting point is 00:10:00 But now I'm like, you know, and actually this is the trap. This is the fucking trap that a lot of people fall into it. They get consumed by the rig. They're like, if I'm strong, no one will notice that I'm bald. Yeah. You know, and they get so strong that it winds up looking like the muscles push the hair out on the top of the head. Definitely.
Starting point is 00:10:18 I'm not going to go that far. No. I can't see that for you. But yeah. On multiple fronts. You don't seem like a guy who would get carried away with it. No, no. So you're a right.
Starting point is 00:10:26 You do like. long-limbed things. Long-limbed. I'm a long-limb guy. You're not all about the lifting. You're about the running around. My hairdresser, I will say this, for his part, he was like,
Starting point is 00:10:40 just fucking let's commit. He was like, let's do something crazy. You know, I'm in there being like, I think we'll just keep cutting it until it's undeniable. He's kind of my sounding board. He's like, it's getting pretty close to undeniable. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:53 But I was going to get these photos taken. So I was like, no, I can't go from full hair to hair in a press shot to a baldie. Gotcha. So let's split the diff. Anyway, next time I go in, we're going to go big. They'll do a big haircut reveal on the pod. Fuck, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:06 But what was great is I was going to get the photos taken by Andy Crown. Shout to Andy Crown takes amazing photos. Andy Crown best in the biz. Had a baby with... And the Crown did my wedding shoot. Fucking A. You got great wedding photos. So good.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Sorry. And I bought Chris Parker along to look after. You had your baby with. Yeah, yeah. And I bought Chris Parker along to look after her. while the photo's being taken and then just fucking obviously snuck a couple through to the keeper just picked up the baby and got some snaps taken and that's what you were referring to earlier when I sent you one.
Starting point is 00:11:37 It's so gorgeous. It's lovely. It's really nice that you can just call upon Chris Parker that look after your 10 months old daughter for a hot minute. Yeah. It must be very nice. We've got some correspondence guy from our fans from probably over a year ago maybe, I would say. Interested to see what they're up to.
Starting point is 00:11:54 I've sent you some. I would like us to maybe read one each I reckon at least I sent you some that I kind of pre-prepared Should I start from the very bottom Some are fucking huge The one at the bottom's enormous Why don't you
Starting point is 00:12:11 Can you just look at that one There was one of them has some time codes For a YouTube video And I'm not going to play that video Because I haven't set that up In this current record We'll do that different day This one has time zones
Starting point is 00:12:25 Yeah, that one's just a good long one without any... So take it away, Guy, take it away. This is from August 7, 2025. Sent it, I think, 11 past 3 in the morning. 0.3.11? Feels like that's the morning. Give me the date again, sorry? August 7.
Starting point is 00:12:43 August 7 last year. Maximum bat. As you asked to be called henceforth in episode 3 of the We Are Your Friend Season. And Guy Montgomery, as Stephen and Charlotte ask for you to be called henceforth. Time! In Family Time, 19, you ever so briefly discussed time zones.
Starting point is 00:13:02 This piqued my interest, as I have, until recently, been engaged in a PhD on sociotemporality slash the sociology of time. This is unbelievable already. I'm actually so fascinated by this. I've just finished listening to a book about Time as well, so this is interesting. Making me the perfect candidate to expand on some of your questions. No answers to be found here. It's all made up.
Starting point is 00:13:26 You raised a very funny point of South Australia being on the half hour. This is relatively unique, but doesn't even scratch the surface of Australian, let alone global time oddities. It may not even be the most interesting thing about that very time zone, owing to one single town in New South Wales, albeit on the border with South Australia, choosing to observe central standard time plus nine and a half hours. All times, and then in parentheses, all times given will be in coordinated universal time, UTC, which has a relationship to Greenwich Mean Time, DMT, much like what BCE and CE have to BC in AD. They're technically different as to appease the critics, but practically the same as to maintain British Christian hegemony. So 9.30 is 9.5 hours ahead of UTC, which is universal time.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Wait, have they gone through the difference between Greenwich Mean Time and UTC? All Times Given will be in coordinated universal time, which has a relationship to Greenwich Mean Time. So it's basically the same. I want to know what that difference is. I think the difference is plus 930 is 9.5. So it's just the way it's presented. Oh, plus 9.5 hours is presented as 9.5 hours is presented as 9.5. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:14:40 So it continues. On the other side of South Australia you have, in my opinion, even weird a choice with the plus 845 time zone. Yes, that is 45 minutes behind South Australia and 45 minutes. ahead of West Australia. This is also only true when daylight savings is not being observed, but we won't get into that because two states don't agree if it should exist, so
Starting point is 00:15:02 the iterations on the differences get very confusing. Thus, for the sake of simplicity, we are ignoring it for now. So this is observed by a handful of towns around the state border with a combined population of less than 300. What? Apparently, owing to a train journey that used to stop around these towns and advise
Starting point is 00:15:20 passengers to shift their watches 45 minutes for each leg of the journey. You've got to be shitting me with that. My favourite element of this is that it resonates with the origins of standardised time, which was only possible or desirable with the advent of the railways. Before GMT was called GMT, it was called railway time. Kinder, they technically shifted the calculation slightly when they changed the name, but it's certainly the thematic ideological precursor.
Starting point is 00:15:45 We, Alteroah, have a fun 45-minute time zone of our own in Chatham Standard slash daylight times. This is as far as I can tell because there's so much further east that the sun rises and sets simply do not adhere closely enough to New Zealand standard. Yeah, but the 45, pick a half hour. Crazy stuff. Okay, so this is a sidebar now. We're not reading from the email, but I'm an advocate for the 45. Like, I like to meet people.
Starting point is 00:16:10 I'm so tired of having my meeting times basically limited to, let's say six options. Let's call it. 9 o'clock, 915, 930, 945. Are you saying when you're dealing people online or in person? In person. It's not a six hundred next. It's going to be five, but it's four. So it's like you've got to meet in 15 minute increments.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Sure. If you send a text being like, should we meet it five past nine? Yeah. That's mental to some people. Sure. But I think it's all good because you're accounting for the fact that you're probably going to be five minutes later than the agreed upon line. So why not we're up front about it and be like, let's meet at. Because then I'll see you at 10 past nine.
Starting point is 00:16:49 No. No. I'm an advocate of being honest and going for it. It doesn't have to be all. in perfect or 15 minute increments. Yeah. I do think if you're getting into like 922, I don't know why I've got a differentiation.
Starting point is 00:17:02 That's fucking whack. Okay. But 925, that's fine. 920, that's okay. What you're saying is it is in guy, in the mass population's opinion, reasonable to set appointments to a 15 minute increment. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:18 In Guy Montgomery's head, it is reasonable to a five minute increment. However, if you encounter someone doing it to a one minute increment, that's nuts. That's outside the bounds. That is exactly what I'm saying. And let me be clear. These pertain only to social engagements
Starting point is 00:17:32 or work engagements with people who are in a similar line of industry. I don't expect to be able to go to... Just careful because you will tip that. I don't expect to be able to make a doctor's appointment. That ain't fixed to the wall. That will topple over. That will fall on us.
Starting point is 00:17:46 There's a shelf behind us with fake plants. Is it all fake? Oh, what a compliment to the plants. every one of them made of petrol there you go good for something burn that down
Starting point is 00:18:02 put it in the car anyway that's what I think about that we should continue on this email because there's a massive body of email still to come okay so after the discussion of the Chatham Island time
Starting point is 00:18:12 the 45 difference in New Zealand the only other three quarter time zone I can think of is the entirety of Nepal plus 545 which is set to be the closest approximation of Kathmandu meantime plus 541, that adheres to at least some expectation of standardisation, balancing a desire to best reflect their national identity with ease of trade interaction
Starting point is 00:18:33 with the yes of the UTC, which is universal. Sorry. Yeah. Kathmandu, 41. Yeah, so it says here, the entirety of Nepal, 545, which is set to be the closest approximation of Kathmandu meantime, which is 541. That's got to be the only place on earth at a one-minute increment. What I was just saying is off the table.
Starting point is 00:18:56 You were saying that in an individual basis to be doing that. There's a country. Is Camandu a country? No, no, sorry. Is it? No, no. I don't know. I think it's the capital of Nepal.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Yeah. Okay. What the fuck is going on? We're in the mountains, man. All bets are off. Kathmandu. Yeah, it's in Nepal. They're living differently.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Here we go. Okay. I mean, this is like, this is properly twisting me in bits and pieces. By the way, if you need a pause at this point, point in the conversation to just reset your mind and maybe research a little more about time, might I recommend looking up the don't hug me, I'm scared video on YouTube pertaining to time. If you've not seen that, it's a fantastic educational sort of children's show that I wouldn't watch with children.
Starting point is 00:19:41 And I'd say, the less you know going into watch it, the better, but it's also about time. So, returning to your discussion for a moment, Tim, you asked, is it political? about Adelaide and the half-hour time difference, which at the time of conversation seemed pretty wackadoo to us. Obviously, without allowing for all of these additional details provided by the author of this email. So, return to your discussion for a moment. Tim, you asked, is it political?
Starting point is 00:20:06 Yes, always. Time is one of the many weapons in a nation-state's arsenal for nation-building. Time zones can be used to unify a country, most famously done by China, which despite spanning five-and-a-half hours of time zones has won officially to group together subdivisions or to highlight desire closeness or lack thereof to neighbours.
Starting point is 00:20:27 As further evidence to this politicality, there are numerous seemingly unconnected instances in the French Revolution of militias firing at clock towers as if to rebel against time itself. Oh, I like that. But even the fun examples I gave earlier are political. The desire for a standard time is in and of itself. Political.
Starting point is 00:20:47 As a quirk of this politicality, there are in fact 27 whole-hour time zones, ranging from 12 used by America's westernmost atolls, which they wish to keep on the same date as the mainland at least, and they're remarkably unique plus 14 time zone, that's right, two hours past the implied cutoff of this whole system, observed by only eight atolls of Kiribati, pronounced Kiribati, which in its totality spans three time zones,
Starting point is 00:21:14 meaning despite having more than 11,000 times less land area in population than China, they have three times as many time zones. For more, this map hyperlink is wonderfully detailed and is ours, if you believe in that, of fun. I've got to make sure I send the link. Look, I really hope I've done this. Hopefully that link is in the show notes. For a brief note on daylight saving time, this was first suggested by a New Zealander.
Starting point is 00:21:45 He was a lepidopterist, man's liked butterflies. Lepidopterist. And despite himself being allowed to fulfil this hobby in the day, due to being a shift worker in the Postal Service, felt that other workers deserve some daylight of their own, and thus proposed a two-hour time shift to account for some of the seasonal change. As New Zealand are fond of pointing out when we get mentioned, and as an act of rebellion against standardised time, even though it's since been incorporated within it, I feel we should have more fealty to this idea than we seem to, generally speaking. The rest of the world can ditch it. It's not entirely the most practical of rebellions,
Starting point is 00:22:21 but we should stubbornly stick to it like an undiagnosed father sticks to the hobby he picked up when he was 12. Old Trump playing timbo over here. I would add here that your reading of the film as a new performance every week is a great analog for some interpretations of a linear time. And we're back. Both in meaning making and discussions of repetition
Starting point is 00:22:45 in the way it seems to break our perception. You may well want to cut the rest for time and I'll forgive you for this given my ironic inability to achieve brevity. In family time 20, Timbo also suggests that he had never experienced jet lag. I too have never experienced it and put my immunity down to my lacking grasp of a consistent sleep routine also, but I'm currently experiencing it for the first time post a trip to Germany and Kyrgyzstan each about six hours apart from each other and New Zealand, and it's hit me for six.
Starting point is 00:23:12 All this to say, scientifically speaking, jet lag is thought to sit in any time you wake up more than two hours different, any two consecutive days, and that it takes a full 24 hours to recover from each one hour difference beyond this, aka it would take two days to recover from a routine shift of three hours and a full ten days to recover from the typical UK to NZ shift. Of course, this is an oversimplification
Starting point is 00:23:34 but my doctor sure believes it enough to tell me every time I mention my poor sleep routine. I've only just realized my overuse of parentheses in this email and I feel the need to underline that this isn't reflected in my academic writing and is merely an attempt to replicate in writing my poncho for a tangent in the spoken form.
Starting point is 00:23:49 This person is spinning out. written us an absolute treatise on the nature and implications of time zones and now has descended it to critique of their own writing style I'll temper judgment on the use of the weather app is a world clock
Starting point is 00:24:09 in one way I feel like it may be a more grounded engagement with time given you also getting a small glimpse of the climate season and the app tends to darken after sunset etc. So soft approval from your one listener I guess say my name
Starting point is 00:24:21 even if it isn't timeless into funganuia tartar Josh. P.S. Guy, giving you a poncho on for naming things for yourself. I thought you would enjoy the inventor of the saxophone, one Adolf Saxe, who named every, there were many, instrument and two weapons he created after himself. Far away. Josh. So, I mean, that, you know, it probably would have taken a year. It's been a year of buildup twice.
Starting point is 00:24:51 reading and diving into that email. Thank you so much for that. I've got to say, someone who... Can I just say, Josh? I loved. I loved that email. Every second, minute, hour, day, week of it. As someone who often struggles to understand academic writing or thinking,
Starting point is 00:25:11 it was a very digestible sort of, you know, satellite picture of time zones and the functionality of time in quite also elastic way. I mean, I really, really enjoyed that. And I thought it was exceptionally well written. Like, it's a challenging email to cite read. Is this what we're doing now? We read a big email and then we really go through and review that email. Well, I think not all emails warrant this level of discussion, but that was like...
Starting point is 00:25:40 That one does. You're right. What about time, guy? How do you feel about time? Well, it's just, it's interesting, isn't it? Because it is like, obviously it's made up. This email is testament to that. It's personalized and it's sort of customizable.
Starting point is 00:25:55 But, you know, for the functionality of society, we all kind of, no one's thrown back too hard against it. It's quite interesting. So I've just finished this book 4,000 weeks, which essentially is all about time. It sort of parades at the start, and I'm sure on shelves was sort of marketed as a book about productivity. But it's quite a philosophical rumination on time and how we treat it. And it feels like it got real different.
Starting point is 00:26:22 after the Industrial Revolution. Time. Yeah. Yeah. Up until then, it was sort of like, hey, listen, man, we're part of time. Time is part of us, you know. It's not an enemy. And then the capitalist, the industrialists were like, we're going to pay you by the hour.
Starting point is 00:26:39 And everyone was like, great. Because then we get to clock off at some point, and it'll be sweet. Spoiler alert, it wasn't all sweet. Damn. That's so interesting. That's just one little sort of part of the book. But it's interesting to have a good think about how you connect to time. Yeah, I mean, I like even just in the glancing sentence you said that we are time and time is us.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Yeah. It's a beautiful way of considering it because I do think it has, you know, as you say, been somewhat commodified. And it's like it's so much is about optimization now and optimization of time. Exactly. They cited actually there's this great, yeah, little nugget. an art I can't remember if it was an art history teacher or an art teacher in a New York
Starting point is 00:27:27 University demands that all of her students go to the local art gallery or the sort of on-campus art gallery and pick an artwork and you must look at the artwork for three hours. You can't have any breaks. You got to turn your phone off
Starting point is 00:27:43 everything. You've just got to engage with it for three hours and apparently it is tremendously difficult. I'll bet. Just how like modern, you know, life has built our brains and stuff. It is unbelievably difficult. Oh man, we've been stripped of our faculties completely. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Like they are being stripped from the outside in, and you only notice it when where the energy is flowed to, which is the phone or the internet is taken from you, and you're sitting with your idling brain, and your brain can't actually start. It's just like an engine that needs the choke to be pulled out. It's just like, there's a whole movement among gene z and alpha now where they're like bringing back the luddite movement and i am so fucking pumped about it and do you know why because they've looked at their it's great fucking dog shit parents were completely absent and fucked we've had our shared reality taken from us and the people who are in charge of customizing the algorithms that are dictating the little chambers we all live in now literally couldn't make a single friend in their fucking life until they had a billion
Starting point is 00:28:49 dollars. I'm sorry, you don't get to set the terms, you sunglasses wearing cunt. Fucking Zuckerberg is driving me crazy. I saw a video of him yesterday. It's like, do you have hobbies? He's like, yeah, I've recently been trying to find out how to make the most protein dense beef. So I started, he's like, and it's pretty funny because I started researching, you know, how do you make cows fat? And it's from the nut of the macadamia tree. So we're planning these macadamia. And it's like, this is all low stakes. And I was like going, crazy being like this cunt is setting the fucking agenda
Starting point is 00:29:22 for the world we live in he literally made the platform that was supposed to connect us to his friends the man has never had a friend he will never have a friend and I think we honestly we need to start treating these billionaires put them in padded cells
Starting point is 00:29:38 I feel for them they're broken they're broken human beings we don't have to kill all of them they need to be in treatment and away from the rest of society I think if you're a silica Valley, CEO, here's how we do it. Okay. All of their
Starting point is 00:29:52 offices, like all of the entrance to their offices shares a replica of a school hallway. Okay. And the way into all of their offices is through like a locker, a high school style locker. And to get in, people push them into the locker and slam the door behind them.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Just so they know, like, Guy. I just think This is so chelish. I am feeling chelish about it. I just think Mark Zuckerberg all of his announcements are bad should be coming
Starting point is 00:30:21 through the vent in a locker got you and that'll be us for family time free zone I don't know what these are anymore how's that for time it's time
Starting point is 00:30:32 that's crazy check out that don't hug me I'm scared video if you've not yet seen it for further elucidation on time and we'll be consuming some more
Starting point is 00:30:44 Planet Schneider products very soon don't worry about Planet Schneider, I hope we don't spend too long, you know, orbiting that one because there's lots of other interesting places to swing past. We've got a little bit of time to grown-ups three comes out, though. Yeah, yeah, but we can swing from planet to planet. We could come back past Planet Schneider. We don't need to get trapped looking at a bit too long at one time.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Roger that. Goodbye, everyone.

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