The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Time 06

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

[To the tune of We Are Family by Sister Sledge]We are family,Libertarian listener and me! Welcome back to Family Time to our family (comprised solely of you). It has been a while but the boys are excited to catch up with you and take the time to open the mail bag. We start with a tutorial on how to track back to the first season of the podcast, and a few memories from the real world before Emmet from Ithaca, New York joins Chris Marlton as a scholar of some repute with respect to the podcast. Having worked through multiple seasons, multiple times, hearing the experience articulated lends the idea of weightiness to this stupid f*cking enterprise. We round out with correspondence from the aforementioned Chris himself, with an important question about Rob Schneider. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time, it's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. I knew Tim's Speaking of family time Tim's watching a video Of his family Not in a sinister way He's not got cameras Up at Zoe's work Making sure she's not Flirting with the patients No no He's He's keeping tabs

On his boy And why wouldn't he He's got a camera I'm not keeping tabs On him You've fitted him out Like in that big cowboy hat That Homer wears

When he goes into The quickie mart A bee Yeah Remy's walking around. 10 gallon hat. Toddling from side to side. Yeah.

No, Remy, so Remy goes to like a daycare type scenario and the person in charge takes lots of photos and videos, which is so great and puts them on an app. And then I get to watch him like dancing to music and stuff. It's fucking sick. Do all the parents whose kids go to this, everyone's photos go on the app? Like, yeah. So it's a small all the parents whose kids go to this everyone's photos go on the air like yeah so he's it's a small group of yeah his mates it's just a small little group how many

mates has remy got his age he's got a few mates yeah half a does wow he's got a favorite um yeah i'm not gonna say any names no no but yeah i reckon Yeah he's I reckon he's got He's definitely got a top tier Yeah Like three off the top of my head Who are pretty top tier Wow They get a lot of They get a lot of chatter

And the real challenge is What you make of the parents Haven't really spent any time with them yet Except We run into each other actually It's not fair When I go and pick them up And

They seem lovely What if they listen to this Only mums Only mums but i'm only talking about two people really that i see regularly yeah but i've never experienced a dad picking up one of these kids only mums and heavily emasculated fathers exactly am i right little soy boy my man mums and soy boys only baby boys. Family time is a zone where we get to share some of the fantastic correspondence sent to us by our listeners. Speaking of gifts, fuck, it's nice to get a letter, an email, a text message, an Instagram DM, Twitter, whatever we're calling that now. Is it called Twitter anymore?

I call it an X file. Very good. I just thought of it then that's excellent the best way I think to get in touch with us is probably via our facebook.com slash

worst idea of all time I don't think there's a the in that one a lot of the platforms it's twio at pod yeah oh there is a the facebook there's not and also I'm actually a lot of the platforms it's twio at pod yeah oh there is facebook there's not and also i'm actually locked out of the worst of your face i'm locked out of my business facebook on this phone why does this keep happening to you dude because i love to change shit up but if i've

got my laptop i'm on it today i don't so i'm in the insta what um was my fucking problem none nuts i don't even care yeah let's not get into it why would you but can i share a message yeah jason to us that he sent on 24th of march hey this year that's something that's not nothing that's that's this year tim guy i stumbled onto till death to us blart and have listened to everything except the 2020 director's commentary I have yet to see the movie and the only context I have is from you beautiful goofy animals My inaugural viewing of Paul Blart Mall Cop 2

Whoops, screen turned off will be with your commentary Listening to everyone's mental health steadily deteriorate on the subject of the eternity of the task you have set before you, I humbly ask to join you on your journey. As recompense for missing the last six years, I've decided that I will watch Paul Blackmore Cop 2 every week for six months.

Jesus. As a humble offering beginning in April. Oh no, this is maybe happening. I will record a brief less than five minute clip slash audio of that week's viewing and come september when my penance is paid i will upload everything to a google drive for your amusement jesus christ hey look after yourself jason you're deep into this journey now um like almost done i will tell you this when i when i heard what you were doing just now, I felt ill.

Like in a way that tells me, and again, you know, everything's been discussed in some version of it between us, but I felt ill in a way that tells me how unhealthy what we have done and do is. Oh, yeah. Like a way where... You see yourself reflected. Yeah, a way where I was like, oof, and then I thought, oh. then i thought oh that's me that's me that's me i'm often me hashtag me too what about one that says this is in july and you know you might be able to answer this is um that stitch is going kaput oh yeah where can i share your early podcast with folks man that wait is that the message yeah

where can i share your early podcast with folks here's the thing season one is up there it's just hard to get to and i'm i'm um shifting them all to separate feeds yeah in the the coming time period all on different feeds yeah all on different things so this problem stops happening because everyone's like season one doesn't exist i'm like i think it does and actually there is a link if you go to if you go to our website if you go to worst idea of all time.com i think there's a i made a page that is like seasons so you can find season one more easily but i get it it's a fucking nightmare i'll tell you what we've we've probably got like what if we berenstein bears ourselves what we never did we never did grown-ups we started with sex in the city and just like keep talking about it and everyone's like what

but i can't find it anywhere um yeah that would be incredible i actually got to pull out some trivia things to grown-ups too recently go on. Someone was singing or it was Cinderfold was playing. Oh, yeah. Jay Giles Band. It's the Jay Giles Band. And I said, there's no way that's the name of a band. And I said, I'll tell you. Look it up.

These are some of Lee's friends from the old Jay Giles Band. Terrible stuff. E. Scott writes, dear worst guy dear of all Tim. Now, that's pretty clever Yeah that's wordplay You're playing with words Hello I've just

This is long man I'm gonna give this to you at half time Okay I've just listened to the inaugural episode of Family Time In which hardened listener Chris Moulton Recounts his fourth time around the bend of worst idea I remember it In doing so he offers himself forward as the eminent scholar of your works.

I have no wish to challenge this position, but I have heard the call and will rise to meet it as a colleague. Out of duty, I must, for I am now close to concluding my fifth time through your entire podcast. Hey, why don't you get your dick off our podcast? i started my journey with you mid-2020 after a breakup and moving into an apartment alone during the height of our first covid lockdowns i discovered guy on the daily zeitgeist and followed him home to the labyrinth the vast library this is really well written the rabid completionist in me immediately peaked.

I only listened to a handful. P-I-Q-U-E-D. You got it. Yeah. I only listened to a handful of the still infant Emanuel season. I keep forgetting we did the Emanuel season, to be honest. That is a fever dream. Yeah.

Before backflipping belly first onto season two and never looking back. Like so many, you helped me through the rough times, depressed, isolated, and working long hours from home. Your company reminded me to find joy in the repetition, to find respite from the elves of the world and kindness, friendship, and laughter. Now I'm going to pass to you. Okay.

Our company, by the way, is Unilever. When I got to the end of the line you'd only progressed a few episodes farther into emmanuel it seemed sourcing obscure softcore pornography was proving troublesome who knew and rather than exhibit any level of patience or self-control i simply scrolled my way back to the top and hit play on season two episode one once more let me tell you the rush from hearing the sex in the city 2 soundtrack soar as you boys crash in piping hot from wrestling with mpk's technicolor nightmare for the first time is a joyous and adrenaline inducing feeling i've never once regretted listening this many times i don't imagine i'll stop to think before rewinding time for the sixth listen. Podcasting, like everything these days, is an overpopulated and oversaturated medium.

But within that, I believe what you boys have remains above the fray as unique and compelling. The honest snapshots of your mood, lives, and friendship give a feeling that we really are all in it together. The podcast has little to no ego, and therefore it is difficult to truly lodge a complaint against any of it it's not trying to be anything more than a representation of who you were as people and friends when you recorded it and you're simply at all times even the lows the most excellent of fellows i agree with my fellow scholar chris on several points firstly the listening experience does take some strange turns after the third go around it's too much raw information for me for me to remember exactly how everything happens

but i begin to exist as a sort of keeper of your thoughts and memories something you say in an episode will often trigger a totally unrelated thought that will confuse me until you bring it up yourselves moments later oh my god i find myself keeping track of the many things you understandably forget between episodes or over years and connecting my own dots and filling in gaps when you miss or forget references later on it can be a somewhat disconcerting but very satisfying oral experience i also agree wholeheartedly with chris that season three is the best season i think you tend to mirror the energy that the movies you

watch present you with where your friends was a party movie and respond and you responded in kind there's absolutely no reason that an episode inside an active nightclub should work but it somehow just does i I remember that. In contrast, and while there is so much of it to love, I would actually say that season one is the worst. Oh, wow. Grownups, too, of your chaotic and often mean-spirited environment. Certainly you were younger and the podcast was punchier,

but it occasionally resulted in meanness between you. That, with the context of later years and growth, feels distracting. Sex and the City 2 caused you to cling to each other for safety and sanity in that season while the darkest also shows the most humanity between you as you huddled together to survive the onslaught sex in the city 1 was more of the same but with less intensity i differ from chris and our thoughts on emmanuel it is certainly a rocky season but because of that it brings out one of my favorite worst idea dynamics which is the two of you grappling with a concept that turned out to be wildly harrier or harder and more slippery than you first expected it to be on top of that the evolution of george and the boner inspector is some of my favorite material from the show ever i cannot think about george lazenby

singing the sesame street thing without grinning absolutely depraved stuff my guy there's so much more I could say but this message is now much much too long so I shall be going however

I need you boys to know that I love you and I owe you more than I can ever really describe look out for a donation headed your way soon I'll have to listen through everything

another time before I know if this ever gets read so I'll see you in the future I think my goal this time will be to record a shining light for each episode and send you the results I'll have to listen through everything another time before I know if this ever gets read. So I'll see you in the future. I think my goal this time will be to record a shining light for each episode and send you the results. In the meantime, I wish peace and happiness to you and your families and all the Worst Idea listeners.

Guy, a huge congratulations on the spelling bee. And okay, I'm going, I'm going. Say my name. Say my goddamn name, you cowards. Emmett Scott. Great fucking name and a phenomenal message ithaca new york so good man i really like a description of our podcast being egoless that's so that feels to me like that really juices me up actually. That gives me a big head. I've got to say, there is also,

actually this is directly contrary to your point, which is that the podcast exists without ego, but hearing- I didn't make the point. Remembering Chris's reflections, and then hearing- Chris's or Emmett's? Chris's. Flashing back to Chris's,

and then hearing someone else who's traips's? Chris's. Flashing back to Chris's. And then hearing someone else who's traipsed across the terrain a similar number of times and is sort of treating it with a similar level of either intensity or... I don't know if intensity is right. Reverence? Reverence, maybe.

It really makes it feel... Which is why I sometimes think about the canon that we're leaving. Not like in terms of a legacy but in terms of the end of that sentence it makes it feel somehow weightier or thicker or denser or like um the accumulation of all of these conversations you know uh maybe it deserves to hold a worthwhile not is that the word you're dancing around it might be yeah maybe it deserves to hold worthwhile? is that the word you're dancing around?

it might be yeah maybe it deserves to hold a tiny amount of space not you know in front of anything or for everyone but like in a very small percentage of a percentage point in the world it elevates the value because when I read about the repeated listings, I think about my own relationship, mostly to From the Oast House by Alan Partridge, which is like, I just cannot get enough.

I go back. And it's a different podcast. It's written, performed. It's like, you know, this is jazz by people who have not yet learned the instruments, is how I would describe the podcast. It's like watching someone pick up a trumpet for the first time and say that it's jazz.

It's like H. John Benjamin's jazz album. But yeah, it's interesting. I mean, also that was a well-written email. It's interesting to receive correspondence That does cause It's very rare A pause for reflection And yet And yet

We've hit one That album by the way I can't remember I think it's called Jazz Daredevil Perhaps But H. John Benjamin I've talked about it on the pod before But if you're a new listener or what have you

The great H. John Benjamin who voices Archer and Bob From Bob's Burgers And Dr. Katz's son If you want to go way back Ben what have you the great h john benjamin who voices archer and bob from bob's burgers and dr cats's son if you want to go way back ben i've watched a few late night episodes of cats when i've been going to bed this one here is hold on he hired a bunch of professional session musicians who are jet i'm not reading i'm telling i know uh i just have to do some research jazz musicians um you have to turn my phone on or off on okay uh to to record an album and so he hired them all got them in there got a film crew got a studio technician sat at the piano h john benjamin doesn't know how to play piano at all yeah and recorded a jazz album

and everyone is phenomenal but him it's's really good. And it's awesome. It's sick. And you get to see the reactions to all of these musicians as they discover that he cannot play. Well, what I've gotten to here, sorry, I got distracted because as I checked the next piece of correspondence I had to get to, it's from the aforementioned Chris Malton.

Oh, whoa. That's why I had to check the phone Because I had to make sure that I wasn't, you know Tripping balls? Yeah Fuck And it's just a simple question Yeah

It's a recent piece of correspondence Yeah Are you guys going to watch the new Rob Schneider stand-up special? Your delivery on that was perfect, by the way Either once or lots of times. O and U season four question mark. At least once. And it doesn't have to.

You know what? I mean, it would feel rude. It doesn't have to be for work. At a minimum, it's for the Substack subscribers who support us I am interested in it I've watched some of the press tour He's not well He's not doing well

Tell me about that guy Because the guy isn't doing well at the best of times It's Rob Schneider we're talking about So where's he at right now From what you've seen in the junket He's just further down Who's he angry at us yep not by name but certainly energetically yes uh i think what he perceives to be the majority of america and americans he's just you know like he's such an interesting ball of a very unique kind of rage because i think rob schneider is a guy excuse me

who i think tries to present himself to the world as um all good happy as i'm sweet well that was my thing and but he seems deeply unresolved about where he has found himself in his career, I think, in his professional life. Yeah. And I also get it because he was a superstar briefly, ages ago. He was always a superstar adjacent to someone. No, the animal was big. The hot chick, Juice Bigelow. It was a huge period.

That was a run. That was like a, it wasn't quite, but you know. It was a Jim Carrey-esque Flash in the pan Independent of his politics He was already washed And then now You know Now he plays the

Pariah I'll throw away my career for this Yeah That's how seriously I'm taking this stuff The special's on Fox Nation I think It is

Which I don't know There's something about that That fucking rules like that's awesome there's a bit of a there's your special should be on fox nation it should be on fox nation youtube you know some parts of youtube watch like fox nation that's true youtube is for everyone youtube is for everyone it's for you well except for us because they didn't commission our fucking web series yeah but even then it's still for us why because we've got something on youtube i guess so uh yeah between

that special and the feature he made starring john cleese or with john cleese oh god him and it's him and sandler's wife that's out there it's like daddy's road trip or something Yeah Now Daddy daughter road trip That's Imagine Okay John Cleese So interesting He is

He's He was just in Australia Getting roasted By like Our peers Oh really He's on tour in Australia Right now

Imagine getting so frustrated About like The direction of culture That you You have to Kind of Side up with these guys Imagine getting so frustrated about like the direction of culture that you, you have to kind of side up with these guys who are so comedically inferior to you. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, like it's crazy. The bedfellows that you have to find yourself making professionally when, when you're just so steadfastly held to these outdated beliefs on how people should be behaving. He's become so grumpy. He is the definition of a grumpy. He's like in Dennis the Menace, Mr. Whatever. Wilson?

I want to say. Wilson's home improvement. I know he is, but I think he might be in Dennis the Menace. But the old guy in Dennis the Menace is like the old man antagonist. That's John Cleese. Do you know how I have a vivid memory of the start of Dennis the Menace who's like the old man antagonist. That's John Cleese. Do you know how I have a vivid memory of the start of Dennis the Menace. The scary guy shows up

and he eats that apple with a knife. Walter Matthau. Oh wait, is he a kid? No, he's an older guy and it's threatening. And I just like it's the first time I'd seen an apple eaten with a knife that way

and it's like such a visceral feeling and memory. I'm like, oh, that's scary. You know, like if I see someone eating an apple with a knife yeah it's a shame because it's actually objectively cool as hell yeah i'm like oh no thank you it's the smoking a cig of eating fruit yeah a little flick knife cut your apple up there's a movie i was watching recently where someone took it was sleepless in seattle. Yeah. They're remembering the mum,

the mum, Tom Hanks' wife dies at the start of the movie. And like there's a point where they talk about how she could peel a whole apple with a knife without like cutting it. But before they say that, there's a scene where you see Meg Ryan's on the phone and she's like cutting it. She's, you know, cutting the skin off an apple with a knife.

Yeah. And it's meant to look like it. She does in one go but you see it she gets halfway through and then you see it slip off and she has to do it then she keeps going but you're not meant to notice that because when they say it later on you're like meant to be like oh my god meg ryan can do that too and then my head did you really click to it i was like yeah i was like that's not the same thing it's not gonna work you get the's not going to work. You get the call. John Cleese wants you to open for him in Auckland. Yeah.

You do it? Yeah. Why not? I mean, no one's going to that gig for, no one's going to it for me or not going to it because of me anyway. I'm interested. Yeah. I'm not going to buy a ticket.

Yeah. I respect that. It's like, I'll meet the guy. Yeah. I'll do whatever my jokes are and then I'll watch it and I'll be like, wow, John,

please. JK Rowling is in New Zealand doing a press book tour. I don't know why I said press in there. A book tour. She wants you to open for her. Do you do it? No,

I don't open for JK. Cool. Here's the next message. Do you want to read it? Yeah, sure thing. This will be the last. Yeah. Roger that.

I've got to take you to your son. Yeah, we've got to go get my son. I've got to reunite you with your son. We've got to go get my boy. Yeah, we're watching on the cameras right now. And he is in peril. But we've got time for one more email. This sounds like a dumb cunt radio show.

My six-year- old's broken his arm I've got to get to the hospital But before that Name this song for $30,000 We've got a new protein powder sponsor And I've got to do this read Oh shit People in radio are the most fucked individuals

You can't stay in there for too long I was talking to some people about this recently You get in You do your time You get out of there Has that been coloured by the fact that that's what i did maybe almost definitely greetings timothy bat i'll rephrase that the people who are the problem in radio the people who don't have other shit going on i've got time for the people who are in there who have got a few i'll um i'll reframe i'll rephrase that as well hi tim Bat Just if we're all rephrasing stuff

I can do it too you know That's not a unique skill to you I know more words than what are written in front of me Even some of the words I'm saying right now Aren't written in front of me I'm just thinking of them from memory I've memorised like so many words Look at him go everyone

Look at him go Or just listen But you can look if you're on the sub stack I hope this letter find you well So many words. Look at him go, everyone. Look at him go. Or just listen. But you can look if you're on the sub stack. I hope this letter find you well. Hmm. Sorry, but I'm going to have to read the whole thing accurately. I wasn't sure who to send this to.

I was considering sending it to the Mackle Boys via their Mabimbam email, but I wasn't sure if they'd see it. The header, by the way, is important deathblart stuff. Maybe, probably maybe probably i would hope seeing death blood in the subject line would make it stand out but probably not and since this seems to go directly to you and you seem like an email checker not sure what i'm going by on that that'll be a safe bet just signed up for the twio at patreon it's been deleted and consider sending sending it via DM on there, which I might still do to cover my bases. We're getting a lot of context for what's coming up here.

Maybe let's get to the heart of the matter, Kyle. It could be big here. So I guess I should stop pre-ambling and start ambling. Let's. I did something silly that I absolutely didn't have to. Inspired by both when a fan sent in an alternate version of We Are Your Friends as well as when either you and Guy said you intended to watch Paul Blart 2 backwards

in an early Death Blight episode which is to say I've completely reversed Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 wow first off I didn't simply reverse it so it plays backwards as if rewound I have cut it shot by

shot to play in reverse sequentially wow with a few exceptions it plays backward chronologically some other alterations have been made to make it a little more i guess palatable upshot is not a single frame has been removed or added okay only rearranged and in a few instances altered i've included a mega.nz link to the video file at the end of the email i love that you're supporting our boy kim.com it's about 2.5 gigabytes in mkv format let me know if another format would work better for you but it is there to do with however you wish if nothing else exposing myself to the film this much has given me the barest insight into what you gents go through regularly.

Stay frosty. Kyle. Here's my question. Do you reckon Darkseid still sticks up to it? No. Yeah, same. It doesn't. But I think

the Mackle boys aren't listening to this. This could be a little surprise. A little treat for us? A little secret sauce surprise let's do it yeah let's do it let's find the time let's do it i also want to address something um kyle i i will here's two things i want to say and then we've really got to go because actually we're a bit late now kyle thank you so much we made us us late by joking about being the sort of guys who would make us that's fine he's not going anywhere Thank you for

doing that work, that was heroic, nothing short of, really good shit Number two, unrelated to your message bro, I just need to put this on the record if this comes out before the other thing comes out, yes we have been watching And Just Like That

we've recorded a few episodes already and we'll record a few more. In fact, we're going to watch the whole series and talk about it. So if you'd like to receive that first, um, you can support us on substack.com. Wait,

twio at dot substack.com. It's only five us dollars a month. Um, if you've got it, we'd love that money. If you had, if you've got it, why don't,

why do you have it? And we don't. It helps us a lot. It helps us a lot. Cause we, we, we've got it why don't why do you have it and we don't it helps us a lot it helps us a lot because we we've got an editor now who's helping helping it's going to change the change the game yeah man it allows us to do more things which is what we want to do um so yeah we're watching it and i'll listen we've got thoughts Especially Guy Especially Guy I will not tell you whether or not I like it So that's coming up soon

You know, until the time is right Then I'll tell you how I feel I love hanging out with my family This family, the Twiwet family I mean, you should say that I feel like you can't leave us in the dark On how you feel about hanging out with your actual family I love my real family.

And we should probably go and get there. Okay, that's true. I'll stop. It's the worst idea It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea It's the worst idea of all time