The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Time 2

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Guy has had a big weekend but it is time to do what all families do, and that is to agree to disagree. One listener has torpedoed a first date by mentioning their love for the pod, another is alienating friends by trying to force feed the new season down their throats. Discussion about driving while watching Fast and the Furious is floated while the mad lads catch up on a baby who they had a hand in naming. And excitingly, a sneak preview of And Just Like That... is with us.Art by Tomas CottleTheme by MontaigneAll the TWIOAT links Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time, it's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. Hello everybody and welcome to the second ever Family Time With Tim and Guy That's true, we call it Family Time Yeah, Tim, I just watched you hand your baby over To another member of the family Get rid of him, get rid of him I say Yeah, Remy was in here kicking it

We've been having a great morning together Have you? And actually part of the afternoon Yeah Oh yeah That's so sweet What sort of stuff is Remy getting into? Loves the sandpit

We've got a little sandpit for him He's all about that Let me see what else Just loves roaming around, you know He's quite a confident walker now Very confident on his feet. He mimicked a noise I made just now. I said, mmm.

Yeah. It's very interesting to hear a baby share quite a mature mmm. Yes. And Tim, you look healthy as all hell. Hey, thanks, man. Thank you. Thank you so much. So you look low resolution but good. Ah, low res. It's not good. Thank you. Thank you so much. So you look low resolution but good.

Ah, low res. It's not good enough for you. I want to see more pixels of your face. IRL. Rest assured, I am pretty good. I had what most would describe as a bit of a bender over the last few nights. And so it is with great delight. I can ease into a family meal or conversation with my boy tb and this is tuberculosis back this has got to be brief people will see the duration on

this they'll be like all right a short one i like it focused business like on point if i was if i was a punter and i saw the runtime on this I'd think oh looks like Tim and Guy had a fight I want to get on to that, I want to know what it was about and what would you like to say to that person Guy, what was our fight about well time will tell Tim I don't want to plant the seeds for a disagreement that we're going to have in the next 10 or 15

minutes, in some ways it feels like you already kind of have well I've got something which could cause us to fight either with each other or the author fight fight fight fight it's what families do let's get feuding morning guy slash tim i recently went on what can only be described as the best first date of my life conversation was. We had so much in common. My mind's eye was clouded with all the fantastic things we could do together.

I didn't want it to end. She was as close to perfect as you could realistically be. After a while, the subject turned to podcasts. She told me what she liked and I listened intently. And then it was my turn. I was feeling cocky at this point. It was going so well that I could do no wrong. So, of course, I decided to name drop the boys as I'd been listening on the drive over. Sorry, this is a first date?

This is a first date. Heavy. It's a big swing. She turned to me this is after being told listen to the boys on the drive over I explained Twiowat and the general concept of it

she turned to me in stunned silence why would anyone waste their time doing something that stupid

and why would anyone want to listen to that yeah i was mortified she looked at me like i was insane i tried to backpedal a little but it was too late the damage had been done oh fuck we chatted a little more but then decided to call it a night two days later she messaged me saying she'd found someone else there would be no second date oh now i'm not saying i blame you fellas for the downfall of what i thought could have been something great but i feel like you didn't help though of course it was my own stupid fault for even bringing it up thankfully i've learned my lesson no more name dropping twio at on a first date no despite these

painful memories i'll still keep listening really enjoying season six so far i've not listened regularly since season three but those first three seasons got me through a lot of tough times at uni etc feels good to hear your voices again i've also recently visited new zealand for the first time so now i understand a few more of your references i do have one nz related question though why are people from palmerston north so mean all the best hashtag say my name it's pronounced bergen with a hard g hashtag pay the boys and that is from uh i assume, the still single, Chris Bergen. Bergen, the situation with Palmerston North is we've been dumping a lot of shit on them for a long time.

Like, they have been the recipient of some heavy geographical-based bullying. And I think they've internalised it, and now they're very mean. They've got a trigger response. I'll tell you what else doesn't help Bergen is they live in an absolute shithole. I won't have this. It's not easy to take respite from the shit that is being hung on you when the surrounds aren't. I've had some great nights in palmy i've had how many uh one or two when did you last go back uh when was that last in palmy

problem solved let's talk let's talk about the um breakdown of this date you got to slow your roll it's as simple as that i think you can On a first date, giving any kind of podcast, it's kind of a pretty person. It reveals a lot about yourself. You want to keep it open and general and friendly, not get too specific on that first date. Chris, it sounds like Chris was a pretty reasonable listener. Chris, if the vibe is right,

Chris could have, this mystery date could have said anything. And Chris is going, yeah, nice, sounds good. So here's what I like. And my read is that you've saved yourself a huge amount of time and hassle. It's fine. We don't all have to like the podcasts that each other listen to. But, Guy, they could be together. They could have a happy happy blissful relationship together and just disagree on this podcast and have a great

life that's true but the knee-jerk response that the total sort of uh creation of distance between two people based on listening to one admittedly very stupid but ultimately harmless podcast i don't know that's that tells me that you you might have sidestepped uh something down the line well let's agree to disagree instead of um no this evolved devolving into a big family fight all right you want to stay on this let's i think that either there's a good chance that this fellow datee, this woman, could have been open to maybe listening to Worst Idea. She could have been a convert. She could have been a contender, man.

She could have become a fan. She could have gone on and supported us at twioat.substack.com. Nice. But you got eager, you came out there, you shot your shot, and I would suggest a little bit early for something so specific. Instead of building those nice general bricks of trust,

those foundational, polite conversation pieces that you would wheel out on a first date. There's so little time in a first date that if you throw worst idea in there to occupy even a little bit of that, say, two-hour period, you're soaking up things you should be... Get her favourite colour.

What number tickles your fancy? What's your favourite letter of the alphabet? That's a write-off. I mean, I'd answer the last one, but I'm not engaging with the the hypothetical date now um and i think a good first date can last as long as it wants and um if it's really you know if the electricity is really crackling you know you feel open you sort of you you lose a sense of yourself or the traditional anxieties or hangouts you might bring into this circumstance and you think hey wow here's someone I can really share with.

I'm going to open myself up a little bit. What are my vulnerabilities? In the case of Chris, he's got awful taste in podcasts. Should that be a deal breaker? I don't know. It's date one. It's too early. I'm not saying don't talk about it.

I'm not saying hide your likes, your passions, your vulnerabilities. I'm just saying there's a time and a place for everything. And date number one, let's keep it general, folks. Let's keep it friendly out there. Well, Tim, I continue to refuse to agree to disagree, but I'm happy for the conversation to move forward. We've been given, count them, uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco US dollars from Jodie.

Just listen to Friendzone 26, where a little bitch insults the business plan. I thought I'd give him the big old middle finger with my measly donation, even though he won't know it. Love and appreciation from a fellow, but not male, Kiwi, Jodie. What that's in reference to, I simply don't know. The message was sent to us in, or the donation rather,

in February last year and seems to refer to an even more far away time when Friend Zone 26 came out. What I like about Family Time is it's still got its roots in the essence of the worst idea of all time. It's still got its roots in the insurmountable backlog of correspondence that we carry with us. Thank you very much for that donation and for dismissing some criticism that was levelled at us

in the long, long ago past. Kia ora, Jodie. I'd also like to open up a message. This one's from a little moment ago that reads, Hey, Tim Tim and Guy. Firstly, love the pod and frothing the new season. So excited to be absorbed in the world of adrenaline pumping, carbon polluting, vehicular action.

As soon as I heard about the new season, I began telling friends, you know that podcast I keep talking about? The one I keep telling you to listen to, but you haven't because you're a real piece of shit? Here's the concept for the new season. To date, and this is now a recurring motif

in this particular episode of Family Time, but to date, none of my friends have picked up listening to the pod despite my insistence. But I shall continue to jeopardize my friendships by talking endlessly about Tim Batt and Guy Montgomery's mad movie marathons. Now, in the midst of this twiwet marketing blitz, I began to think about the episode of season three, where you watched We Are Your Friends in a premier Auckland nightclub, immersing yourself deep into the vibe and world of the movie. Thank you very much for that. as super up rental or a family road trip as family is what it's all about either way i know

you're rebellious boys who like to do drugs and trees but because i care about your well-being might i suggest that we don't watch and drive maybe someone else can drive say my name as if i'm rufus and i've been a good boy toby from melbourne my mind instantly went the only way we could pull this off, watching in a car, is if we got one of those self-driving Teslas, and there's no way I'm going to be supporting that concept. And it didn't even occur to me that some other third person could drive the car while we're in the car. Yeah, it's a challenge because I think

I guess everyone's a passenger at some point in the Fast and the Furious. Do we ever see Vin Diesel in a car where he's not driving? I sincerely doubt it. They wouldn't put that in. Helen Mirren, brother. Oh, shit, good point. Helen Mirren.

If you're a dame, if you've been recognised by the British monarchy Vin Diesel will passenger in your car he might even do the handbrake for you if you're lucky

that's the line though I'm just thinking I think you know I'd love to get a third party in the car just you and me in the back two and a half hour long movie

hour long record someone driving three and a half hours where could we get to Hamilton easily Taupo Taupo where could we get to Hamilton easily Taupo Taupo potentially

we could get to the lake we could go for a swim and here's the thing they cannot talk to us yeah yeah this is a good idea super important to me this is a real good idea

guy the email that I've got open is long okay it's got pictures attached to it It's a real good idea. Guy, the email that I've got open is long. Okay. It's got pictures attached to it. Dear Tim the Terrier and Guy the Gazelle,

Tim, please be the one to read this. You may remember me from two years ago when I asked if you two fucks would provide a middle name for my second-born child. Do you remember what name you picked? Please pause to recall. Kind of? I think I do. But I mean, I remember the conversation.

I don't remember what we settled on. Do you want to take a guess? Felix? Gavin. Tim, at this time, please make sustained eye contact with Guy to convey my seriousness for a moment. Hey, Guy. My dude. What kind of fucking name is Oko? Okay, fine.

The book of the same name by Ismay Shapiro is very cute, but I couldn't do it. What's happening, Guy? I was recording in Olive's bedroom. It was a lovely children's book about a little fox. It's all coming back to me. Instead, we chose the middle name Fox, which is an homage to Oko and thus you guys,

and also Mulder. Nice. We also chose the middle name Jane after my late mother-in-law. We also chose the first name robin to keep uh to keep with our gender neutral name and they then pronouns until they can tell us otherwise robin jane fox born february of 2021 is incredibly happy ginger social and mobile like their elder sibling rain they have gone their whole life hearing your voice as part of the background radiation it's such a good description the background radiation of their home uh sadly neither has picked up any new zealandish nor my own americanisms and instead seem to have picked up

a british english add it to the list of crimes the english have done thank you for giving me a middle name even if it was ultimately rejected thank you for your work watching porn and other needless tasks thank you for just being there and just like that have been some good old gold episodes please enjoy these pictures of robin and rain much love say my name trina she they and their attached pics which are predictably gorgeous of some very cute little babies with some big eyes. I like Fox. I really like what you did with Fox. And it's funny, you know, time is a flat circle, and the Earth is flat too,

to hear about, what would you say, and just like that. Because this week, images, the Twitter account of, and just like that's pretty active and they're pumping out all sorts of behind the scenes pics and one that said tongues wagging,

hearts are fluttering. And well, the boys on fire was a picture of SJP and Aiden of carpet importer exporter. He of three children who are a country music band cheating on Gary in the Middle East fame. Oh, let's see if we can do it. Wyatt.

Floyd. Floyd doesn't seem right. I feel like one begins with a C. Connor. Connor's good it's a good guess Wyatt oh like I was going to say

Kraut it doesn't seem right could be I can kind of Wyatt is definitely in there I think he closes on Wyatt

you never forget a i google it i think it's a pretty obscure google but i love where your head's at i and also fantastic names rain tate homer and wyatt we wouldn't have got those tate rings a bell homer lost the sands of time also how quickly did that come up what do you look what does aidan call his kids and sex in the city to sex in the city aidan kids top result wow that's nice i guess it's all part of the law right it'll be on some sex in the wiki so that's good and everyone updates it with their sexual organs um yeah they have been active on social media storms are brewing and the name of that storm is and just like that season der yeah oh wait yeah wait two yeah two and just like that i guess for season

two they're probably saying just like this uh well guess for season two, they'd probably say, and just like this. Well, how do you feel about it? How do you feel about the prospect of a second season and just like that coming down the pike? Honestly, really excited. Yeah. I loved both reflecting on and watching the show with you, podcasting it, and independent of that.

And I say this with no sense of shame or irony. I enjoyed watching the series. For all of its foibles, I thought this is really fucking dumb. And that made me feel good. I enjoyed it. Yeah. I've got a Twitter DM here.

Let's hear it, yeah. I've got a Twitter DM here. Let's hear it. The thought experiment. For each week of the next calendar year, so this has been sent at the start of this year, Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt must individually decide to either watch Sex and the City 2 or receive a 10cm by 10cm tattoo designed by their podcast co-host. The tattoo recipient can decide where on their body the tattoo is applied,

but their co-host has complete creative control over the design. What does that calendar year look like for the fellas? P.S. I know that's a weird fucking thing to send to the inbox of a podcast on Twitter, but I don't know how else to read your podcast and i want to hear the answer so bad i even took the time to think very briefly through how the metric system works which repulsed and confused me well the first thing i'd say is 10 centimeters by 10 centimeters is a pretty serious tattoo you yeah it's not if you took the year off watching sex in the city um you'd run out of canvas, I think, almost. How do you mean?

Well, in this hypothetical scenario... Oh, you get a weekly tattoo of that size. I think, yeah, for every week you choose not to watch Sex and the City 2, you get a brand spanking tattoo. Well, holy smokes. That does change the calculus a little bit yeah it's uh i actually i have to get a tattoo um soon i'm going to put it on the on the right buttocks cheek along with the graveyard of other good and bad decisions i've made in my life um

this one i think you know just so everyone, what Guy's talking about is these other tattoos associated with bets he's lost. His butt isn't some mangled record of jackass-style tomfoolery that's gone down. They do say that the body keeps the score, but in this case, in Guy's case, it's simply tattoos that he's got. There's a fourth tattoo on its way, which is the result of losing, winning or losing,

whatever you call it. There's something called the fish. You know about this, Tim. In my fantasy football league, 12 odd friends from school, it's called the fish. It's only eligible sort of every second week.

And if you wind up the season carrying the fish before the next season starts, you have to buy and maintain fish in a tank. I've been the fish before. We've walked down that to buy and maintain fish in a tank i've been the fish before we've walked down that road it was a lot of administration uh i did my best but we lost two good fish out there i'm now called a murderer by my league mates uh it does not sit well with me i regret the loss of life for these young fish and um as penance and an alternative form of punishment i'm allowed to get a tattoo of a fish on my body or I have to leave the league.

So there's going to be one fresh tattoo of a fish on the buttock's cheek. On that note of tomfoolery, I believe, if I'm reading the time correctly, you have to go, Guy. I do. I've got to go spend time with my other family otherwise known as my family well enjoy that and uh i'll see you real soon for another hot sexy exciting watch our final Oh, yeah, because we're all out of sync. There's a lot of episodes to come out that we've already banked,

but Guy and I will be watching F9 one more time in real life. I do like how the time streams kind of cross over a little bit between the episodes and family time. Yeah, what is this? Christopher Nolan movie? Yeah. Regular couple of tenants over here It's actually a Justin Lin movie

And this is a TBGM production We didn't have a proper fight If you would like to Get up to Just join our social medias You know Yeah Get on there

Facebook.com Slash We're Stadia of All Time On Twitter Just join our social medias, you know? Yeah. Get on there. Facebook.com slash worst idea of all time. On Twitter, we're twiwetpod. Same on Instagram, I think. I made a TikTok account. I will try to top it up with some more vids and stuff. We're on TikTok. You said we would be.

And Guy is coming to Australia, so you need to book your tickets now to see him.'s coming to australia too guymontgomery.com co.nz co.nz and uh i'll have some gigs for you soon too i'm going to christchurch real soon and we've got a whole bunch of other shit so see you there fuckos bye love you all