The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Time 24

Episode Date: June 20, 2025

Hello fellow family members, it’s so nice of you to join us. Today we’re spotlighting the incredible performance of our friend Abby Howells on Conan’s NZ episode, we’re digging into the mailbag to discuss Tim’s teeth, Guy’s Wordle approach and an untenable position involving our potential sponsor, MOSH. We also need your help in ID’ing a prior TWIOAT film and give you an update on our family’s relationship to Patrick Schwarzenegger.Join us at twioat.substack.com to support the show and to see Tim's dogs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. Hello and welcome to family time. I'm hot off the look, you're in my shot hot off the back of a live stream where I left the music playing the entire time and didn't realize. And luckily for us, we've got the best fans in the world. So lovely. They just accepted it for what it is, which is part of the experience of being

in the worst idea camp. That's if you watched it live on the sub stack. Just back up a little bit. I thought you wanted me in your frame. It's actually kind of, yeah, maybe. Uh, dirty it up a bit, you know. Dirty it up, give us some confidence. If you just listened to the episode, you wouldn't have even known that

that technical difficulty haven't. You wouldn't have also known how good we look. And that's your business and that's fine. But rest assured right now Tim and I are looking, feeling fantastic. Yeah. Hell yeah. How have you been? Yeah, good man.

What did you do last night? I put two kids to bed and then was like, I'm literally too tired to get all the work done that I have to do. So I went to bed. That's great. No, it isn't. It's awful. No, but I think when you know that you're not gonna get it done,

it's better to go to bed than it is to sit with it and make no inroads. I am trying to do that more at the moment. Yeah, I've tried to create some new rules for myself. See, this is interesting. This is good stuff to know about. There's a saying, which I think is more in a social context of like, you'll like do bad things that nothing good ever happened after midnight or something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Nothing interesting happens after 12. No, not interesting, good. Like you're gonna have too many drinks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not missing out on anything. You're gonna fuck something up, tomorrow's gonna be a ride yeah, yeah. You're not missing out on anything. You're going to fuck something up.

Tomorrow's going to be a ride off, whatever. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. Whatever that saying is. For me, I'm like, no good work gets done after like 9 PM. Which isn't true. I do some of my best work after night, but I'm trying to internalize that. That's amazing.

How are you? You got to go to the comedy last night. Yeah, I went to the comedy. Which you invited me to, which was very kind of you. I went and watched Ed Gamble. Can we say friend of the show? Friend of the podcast, yeah. He's watched Rob Schneider with us in a hotel room in London. I know, I was just wondering what the line is for us. One appearance?

Yeah, everyone's a friend of the show. That's true. Joe Rogan's a friend of the show. Yeah, I watched his stand-up show in Auckland. That's true. Joe Rogan's a friend of the show. Um, yeah. I've watched the standup show in Auckland, Abby Howells, friend of the show, open forum, spectacularly funny, absolute delight. We should be. So I don't know if you have seen this, but online, like Abby is getting a lot of

fans off the back of her Conan. Not surprised. Ambassadorship. She's basically New Zealand comedy ambassador on Conan Goes Abroad. Is that what it's called? Yeah, Conan O'Brien. Yeah, I can't remember what it's called. It's his travel show, which is fantastic.

Conan O'Brien must go. I think that's what it used to be called. It doesn't matter. They did a New Zealand episode. It came out a month ago, at least maybe three weeks. Our mate, Abby, is a big part of it and the world predictably has fallen in love with Abby. She's so good. Absolutely.

And so she was opening and she was amazing. 25 minutes is a big opening step. Really brought it and then Ed was unsurprisingly spectacular. Fantastic. It was good night out. And then I, you know. Did you go with anyone? Yeah, I went with Chris Parker and his husband, Michael, friends of the show, friends of the show. And, you know, 1100 other friends of the show who were at the Bruce Mason center.

And then afterwards said, Hey, how are you? Well done. And then was home by, you know, whatever. Like not unlike you, you know, I think often there was a world where your friend does a show, you go out, you have some beers afterwards or whatever. Yeah. And afterwards everyone was like, right. Do you think Ed's in that zone too?

It was, I mean, he's also traveled a tremendous way to be opposite time. I had actually introduced Ed to, um, the Traders NZ season two. Right. And I know for a fact he'd watched three episodes that day. And by the time I opened the door to get home, he was texting me more running commentary about the next episode of the Traders NZ. So I think that's amazing. When you've, I suppose when you've been touring that long, you know, there's the novelty of I can have a drink in the city wears off and the comfort of I can

spend time with this show I'm enjoying. Yeah. You know, growth strong. Without a VPN. I'm in the homeland of Traders NZ. Weirdly, it's been taken off three now it's on YouTube now, but actually for anyone listening, the Traders NZ season two is if you're a fan of the Traders NZ? Weirdly it's been taken off three now it's on YouTube now but actually for anyone listening the Traders NZ season two is if you're a fan of the Traders franchise or if you're not it's a great introductory point if

you are it's like at all time it is a it's a world-class season of the Traders the twists and turns it is the characters the fact that it's a New Zealand reality show which is as Chelsea says New Zealand reality is a sub genre of reality television. Like its own bespoke thing. Number one, we are all too self-conscious on camera because we all know, you know, like we all know each other. Yeah. There is not the confidence or the bravado that comes with most reality

television contestants now on New Zealand reality TV. We are still self-conscious to be on camera, even though we have voluntarily put ourselves in that situation. There is something to that. It's a combination of the tall poppy syndrome, which gets so much commentary. And the fact that in America, there's 350 million people and fame is this very, uh, lauded, um, thing, goal to achieve for people.

And in New Zealand it is, I would say like, not an unreasonable expectation that if you want to be famous, you can be famous. Like that's fine. That's not that hard. And in America, fame is lauded. In New Zealand, fame is something that laud did. What do you reckon? It's not nothing.

It's not nothing. Thank you for letting me scratch that itch. As soon as the sentence came into my head, I was waiting for my turn to talk. Very good. Call me Carrie Bradshaw. Call me Carrie. Schmitty writes to us and says, Hi Frosty Fellas. I've been a long time listening, but this is my first time emailing you. I was really excited to see Patty Schwartz on the most recent season of The White Lotus.

Yeah. This message came to us not that long ago, 10th of April this year, 2025, year of our Lord. While the season itself wasn't great, I thought our boy Patty did a great job playing Saxon. He brought a lot of depth to the character, who was essentially the older version of his grown-ups to frat boy. Totally agree with that.

Having an existential crisis. I don't want to spoil you in case you haven't watched the season by the time you read this but he gets a hard truth handed to him my family who are also avid white lotus watchers also fell under Patrick Spell my sister now follows his Instagram I'm excited to have new fellow members on the paddy wagon but should I get my family to listen to Twy Oat or watch grownups too? We just call it a police van now, by the way.

I want to, do you know it's racist against the Irish? Yes, that's why we call it a police van. I didn't know that until quite recently. That's why I'm so funny. I want to introduce them to, oh, a paddy show at party time, but I don't know the gentlest way to introduce them to the oh Patty Schwartz party time but I don't know the gentlest way to ease them in. I don't think springing the news that two of my favorite podcasters have Patty tattoos on their rear ends will help my case. Thanks for your help and keep on rocking on. All the best from the

US. Smitty. Smitty what up number one Patrick Schwarzenegger was in my DMs again recently. Uh, there was a spelling bee fan got a big spelling bee tattoo on their bicep. Like the logo designed by Thomas Cottle, who did the logos for the show. Big spelling bee on the, um, on the bicep. Yeah. She shared it. How does that make you feel?

It was really intense to see and send it to me. And I shared it on Instagram and I said now I know this is intense Now I know who Patrick Schwarzenegger felt and he just laughed at that But he was like I opened my Instagram and Patty Schwartz is in the D and I was like the connection is alive You know second of all Patty's got a he's he's he's on the up. He's doing a movie with Margaret Qualley. It was in Patty's got a he's he's he's on the up. He's doing a movie with Margaret Qualley. It was in Come with the name of it. She's fantastic. She's no who's that? Wait, was she and the Tarantino? I think she was Hollywood. What's it called? Once upon a time in Hollywood? Yeah, she's that one I yeah, she was feet up on the dash in the car Yeah, and then she's the daughter of Andy McDowell. And then she was also in

I don't know that. Um, what's the movie with Geraldine Vistwanathan? It was recent. I really loved it. One of the Coen brothers directed it. Drive away dolls. I really enjoyed drive away dolls. Ethan Coen's film he made with his wife. Uh, so trouble at Fort with the Coen brothers. That's right. Now the Coen spouses. So this great news is being produced for MGM by Ryan Gosling and his producing partner.

And I'd just like to say congratulations to Patty and Ryan and Ryan and Ethan and Ethan's wife. Yeah. And Geraldine and Margaret and Andy for raising. What do you say to Smitty about, should I? Margaret Qualley also on her filmography right now. Walk on Roll on Happy Gilmore 2. Love that for her.

Do you look forward to that? I am actually. It's going to be a lot of fun. It will be. And a good opportunity for me to re-watch the first one which I really haven't seen since I was a kid. Yeah. Now, what do you say to Smitty with his question of whether or not to get his family involved with Twyowet and all grown ups too as an enterprise? Personally, I think to the detriment of the show, there's some things, it's okay to keep

them to yourself. I think like they're seeing Patti Schwartz and White Lotus, they're going, this actor is really great. I think I totally understand that you've been on the journey with us and there is a temptation to go, you like them in this. Check out this ancillary thing that I enjoy a lot. I don't think it's great connective tissue.

I think your instincts are right. It's going to wig them out. It's not the same. Keep it for you. Keep some things for you. Yeah, I mean, podcast recommendations, you know, But it's not the same. Keep it for you. Keep some things for you. Yeah. I mean, podcast recommendations, you know, I think just just put yourself in the other situation.

You know, there are so many podcasts people have relationships to and listen to TV shows, books, cultural, you know, treasures, treasures. And each person's relationship to those is theirs alone. And you can tell someone to watch something, you can tell them to listen to something, you can tell them to read something. You can insist till you're blue in the face that Traders 2 NZ is the greatest television show that the reality formats ever met. Yeah, but it's not necessarily going to connect.

It's not going to work. Look, if the moment strikes and it feels right within you, tell them to give it a look. And if they don't like it, that's totally fine. That's their business. That's their prerogative. You want to read an email? Yeah. Can I give you one? Yeah. This one's from Alfie. You ever seen a phone so big? I've paused the latest episode during the braces convo in order to remind Tim. You once had a dentist who offered you at-cost braces because he was learning to be an orthodontist. Yeah I know. You're a very charismatic guy if you meant it about

wanting to get braces call that guy. He's probably a full orthodontist now. He'll give you a discount for sure. And at cost is still huge amounts of money. Keep up the great work Alfie. Thousands of dollars. Tim's braces. That's what that one is there. All of my money goes into this room. That's the truth. This is the money room.

This is the money room. Tim could choose between braces or new microphones. It doesn't. Guess who won the race. I've made my choice. It's not going into my own body. It is going into this room. Now I got another one here.

7th of May. You know what wouldn't go amiss in here? A fucking fan. Twy away. Bit of fucking aircon in here. No, no, we smell good. Guy you Wurdle beauty. Howdy boys.

Guy was very brave of you to share your starting Wurdle word on a recent app. I've been using it from time to time with good results. None as good as today. May 6th. I got it in one. Hey! It was sweet, spelled S-U-I-T-E, as love what you boys do. Say my name, even if it isn't Matt. You revealed your word. Are you taking the piss? Do you know how hard you rode me on that? Yeah, I know, I remember that, but I don't remember what the word was. Was it sweet? This is my whole life just disposable to you. Kinda. This message from Matt. Howdy boys guy it was very brave of you to share your starting... Arlo. I've replied to Arlo doesn't bode well. Oh, this is a person who sent me a cover. We had a conversation about Little Drummer Boy, how it's the best Christmas song, partially because there's so many covers

of it that are very percussion heavy. And then Arlo went and found a metal version for me which was very hard to track down because I he's they said have a look for this one I did I couldn't find it anywhere and I said Arlo hook a brother up and then Arlo did found it for me I listened I fucking hated it it was bad this message from Kerry hi Tim hi guy hi Kerry Been a fan forever and saw your show a couple of years ago at the Bale House in Brooklyn. Which brings me to my first question. You had a very funny Irish comedian. Maeve Higgins. I'm with you, do you remember her name? Done. M-A-E-V-E. Second question and this will be infuriatingly vague.

A couple years ago you guys watched some dog shit movie and I followed suit with a side character who seemingly ad-libbed most of his lines as wearing some sort of animal suit and says to the camera something like, am I a dog or am I a bunny? Which of these two things must I be? What the fuck is this from? It haunts my dreams. I'm not catching that disease I don't know and I'm not gonna even stretch my brain for it. I'm sorry That rings not a single tiny bell in my head at all So if there's any listener out there, feel free to get it. Like if you're like, there's that. I'm scared to think about it I'm scared. Can you not just put it out of your head? Will that eat at you a little bit?

Some things just get in that feels like something that could get in. All right. Well, I'm... I feel like something that could penetrate. I'm so sorry to say, uh, Kerry, nothing. Got you one out of two. Ain't half bad. There's more message. The tip.

I'm pretty sure you guys mentioned difficulty finding the Neil Breen movies. Well, I found them all streaming and downloadable at the internet archive. Now, I'm going to tread lightly on this because Neil Breen... Was an independent artist? ...is an independent artist and filmmaker who has been very loud in his idea of how you should obtain his movies, which is the DVD format from his website. And I want to respect the artist's intent and ownership over their work, in this instance, very specifically.

So while I appreciate the hunt and hustle and that you found this for us, Keri, I would also ask people to respect Neil's sort of wishes and how you obtain the hard work that he's put together. Don't forget he caters all his own films alongside myriad other responsibilities. And finally, the betrayal. Not sure if you're aware, but Mosh Bars are already sponsoring other podcasts here in the States.

Holy fuck, are you kidding me? What happened to our mosh bars? In here? No, I wouldn't do that to you, man. I'll get them. I won't get them. I'll fucking light them on fire. You know what? The mosh bars... Don't... Nah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You fucking smuggled essentially from America. Patty, I'm sorry I got so angry off the bat, but like come on man, this is, that's really fucked me up.

You wanna see a repudiation of mosh bars. Look at these half eaten bars. Sack of shit, pay me and we'll eat the second half. What else? I'm not sure if you would get the same ads over here, but I heard them on Omnibus. If you're gonna listen, I recommend the recent episode Polgarzary in the batshit North Korean film industry. Anyway, keep up the good work. Love, Kerry. The way that most podcast ads work now is a technology called dynamic ad insertion,

so we're all hearing different ads depending on where we are. And what we are likely to want or is that not factored in yet? No, you can't do that on podcasting. Yet. Damn. Protected from the algo. I'm going to wrap up, I'm too angry to go on it's okay I'm fucking furious about that I'm so mad well never go never go to bed on a fight

I'm not gonna know what is it don't go to bed angry I'm looking forward to seeing the next episode I'm just like that with you I'm looking forward to whatever our outfits are gonna be yeah do you you. I'm looking forward to whatever our outfits are going to be. Yeah do you know what I said I said to Chelsea I said I need a dress and she said okay but that's the she's only got two dresses a lot of two-piece options. I reckon you I'll pick some stuff for you Zoe's got some great pieces. I would love for you to choose something. I fucking floated this and you you didn't like the idea initially. Well I'm out of dresses now I would love for you to choose something. I fucking floated this and you didn't like the idea initially. Well I'm out of dresses now. I would love to see what you want to see me in. Sick. Done. I will dress both you and I next episode and just like that.

Streaming live, hopefully without music playing over the top of our voices, 10am Saturday this coming New Zealand time. Twioat.substack.com We love you. That's com ending at M not comma even though I said it kind of funny. Dot comma is an end of a website. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea. It's the worst idea of all time.