The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Time 28

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Jazz, iPods and the forgotten chaos of 2001’s Rat Race (featuring John Lovitz) are just three items of conversation during this riveting Family Time session. Beautiful letters, sent through the copper wires and fibre optic tubes of the internet, via a gorgeous old typewriter are shared, as is a fantastic fan-fic for what happens next to problem child, Wyatt.Support us and see Tim struggle to read in 4k resolution via TWIOAT.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time Sup, bitch! Whoa. How are ya? There No way to talk to me? Oh, come on. It's fine. All right. Hey, how are you? Don't worry. It's just Guy Montgomery. Don't worry about it. Yeah, absolutely fine cool t-shirt I wouldn't get too worried about it. Um, if you're wondering who the other voice is because it's just Tim bad. I Am and will forever be guarded. I didn't go to that gig man. Herbie Hancock. Yeah. This was...

Because he'll be dead at some point. Yeah. You know what I was thinking about earlier today? I have to have to have to see Lewis Cole live. It was my New Year's resolution last year. I didn't do it. I've got to figure out how to do it in the next year. Because people die and I will be so regretful

if a generational talent like that just pops off without me seeing them live. I think you've got time. I hope, I think so too. I forecast a long and prosperous life for both of you. He's young, I think he's younger than me, maybe. And that's okay. I was on his Instagram.

I was on Lewis Cole's Instagram the other day because I was trying to see if he had any live dates, you know, in this area. Coming. Well, I'm just going to have to go to Europe or something. He doesn't, he doesn't come down here. I've got to go to him. He could get big enough to come down here.

But he does live in LA. So, but he's been doing a whole bunch of anyway, the post I saw him put up was in May, he was in London and he was like, guys, you gotta come to this thing. I've paid for an orchestra myself. I'm going to lose so much money and there's still hundreds of tickets left. Like even if the sale is out, I'm losing money. You gotta come. It's in three days. I'm like, ah, I almost would buy like a plane ticket to go to London to go see that man. Why just let Lewis Cole lose money?

Exactly. Exactly. I want to get in there, wasn't I? We could lose some money in solidarity. Well, I will say this for the Herbie Hancock concert. Yeah. It was awesome. Good. I'm glad. It was my birthday present from Charles last year.

We saw it at the Michael Fallis Center, one of the great music venues in our country. And it was a big, you know, like it was, it was a very good concert. There's a very, it was a lot, it was jazz, man. There's some of the stuff in the middle. I was like, wow, this is jazz. Was it? Yeah. Is that what you wanted?

You know, I would have probably changed some of the percentages on. What was the, when you say got real jazz, do you remember like what the instrumentation was at those points? What was taking, when you say it got real jazz, do you remember like what the instrumentation was at those points? What was taking front and center? Was this like, now the trumpet is in charge? Everyone got a turn. I don't remember a trumpet. I just remember like they were having a good time pointing the instruments at each other and like playing around. Which is absolutely their right.

And I was like, man. Sort of the point. Yeah, but I was like, you know, Did it get a bit esoteric? Yeah, I was like, well, play a song. I'll still never forget that time that when we were in Manhattan and we went to that club, Smalls, is that what it was called? I believe so.

And just what we were, spoiler alert, so high, so phenomenally high. On mushrooms? Yeah. And we went for a big walk. We walked for like five kilometers or something. And then got to that little jazz club. And it was just an evening of all of these incredible musicians lined up with memory serves just on the walls waiting with their instruments to just have a fucking hoon.

Yeah. And I was just sitting there like, I am in church. This rocks. I'm trying to find someone to go to. And if someone loves comedy the way you love jazz, they can walk five kilometers to sit at an open mic night and watch people drive. You cannot stress out. Although you get moments of that.

If you went to like, I imagine clubs in New York or Los Angeles, where, you know, you get like Bill Burrow just drop in unannounced. You'd be like, Oh my God. People do get that. I'm trying to find pretty much anyone to go to Tyler the creator with me the day before my birthday. Oh yeah. Here in New Zealand.

Cause Eli's a big fan, but he's, it the 18th it's a Tuesday night I think exciting there you go Tyler the creators coming I'll be there big shout out to him and then Duncan Trussell the next night on my birthday which I also think I'll go to amazing I'm happy for you man yeah I don't know what's gonna happen with these fucking kids but yeah good luck to them, I say. You got gigs coming out your ears. You got a trip to Europe on the cards. Life's beautiful, man. I'm not going to Europe, I don't think. Not until Louis Colas.

I'm pining for it. Okay. Enough jibber jabber. Who's this jibber jabber? Enough jibber jabber. Was it Biden? Perhaps some Chitter Chatter. I'm going to be real. Are you still doing that? Yeah, I like it. Crazy. Do you do it every time?

No, but like just every now and then. Number one, there's still some friends on there. I like to see what they're up to. Number two, it's actually quite a useful archive, especially when I'm moving around and doing different things. Because then it's a little general scroll backwards. Do you general? No, been thinking about it though. Yeah.

Still don't do it, but I have been thinking about it. Explain B real real quick before you get into the mailbox. Surely they'll not. Now it's just, it's a, it's meant to be a boring photo app. So it will prompt you at random times throughout the day. Take a photo of whatever it is you're doing in that moment. And it's just a, it's just a way of. It got huge briefly. Yeah. Yuck.

Sorry for clearing my throat into the microphone. Juno writes, Dear Timbo and Guy Guy, just do it. You'd like to know the unique way in which I've listened to your family of podcasts. I have, sorry, after seeing you both perform at various venues across the country, I figured I should pick up the podcast. I'm a student at Otago currently looking down the barrel of a fourth year research project, and I listened to a lot of podcasts in the lab.

We get a bit of this often at two times speed. For instance, I have around 10 D and D podcasts. I'm juggling every week. Good Lord. Jesus. Is to make monotonous tasks more bearable. Now, I'm not sure if this is a compliment or an insult in comparison to that, but instead of listening while doing anything else, I listen to your show as I'm trying to fall asleep. I have uploaded your entire body of work onto what must be a 10 plus year old iPod and set it up aside by bed on shuffle

playing on shuffle. That's so crazy. You are using the show in a different way serving as good sleep trigger and white noise. This has created some rather interesting dreams and I am very unable to place any names of characters or follow anything Coherently as I have not consumed any of the media you talk about apart from cats and the subsequent masterpiece That is cats to full movie I do not try I do now try to listen to new episodes in a regular fashion as I found it surprisingly It's a good show when you follow the conversation and aren't bleary eyed waking up at 3am to the tail end of a conversation about which cars

in the fast and furious franchise you want to have sex with a conversation. I'm still not sure was real. Say my name, even if I'm asleep. Juno. Oh, that's so nice Juno. Um, and insane. I also want to say recently we had an acronym at the end of a message, which was S M N E I I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S M N E I S And we couldn't figure it out. Did you figure it out? We got told a lot. Yeah, we got told a lot. It's nice to say my name, even if it isn't.

I actually watched Rat Race on the weekend with John Lovitz in it. And Roman Atkinson? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck man. There's a crazy story beat with John Lovitz. So John Lovitz plays this guy who hates his family. He goes to Las Vegas with his wife and two kids and they get to the hotel. And he's like, I'm going to go for a walk. You get the kids to it. I'm going to go for a walk. And she's like, don't gamble. It's like, I'm not gambling.

Go straight to the casino. And, uh, cause she's like, don't go gambling. We're here to see David Copperfield. He's like, you know, he goes to the casino. He wins a chip in the chip. Like all the chips are basically people. It's a race for $2 million. All these different people. It's a sort of ensemble comedy. Anyway, John Lovitz, he gets his family, he talks about having to go to New Mexico for a job interview or something. And so he sort of brings them all along.

And eventually they park their car up. He's like making his daughter, his like, you know, 10 year old daughter, shit out the window because he doesn't want to pull over because he wants to win the money. All pretty funny. But then he goes, they pull over like the whole family's going crazy. You have to pull over and they go to something called the Barbie museum. And it's, you know, so we'll go to the barbie museum and it's the, there must be a Nazi officer called someone Barbie or something.

And they go to it and it's all these white supremacists and John Lovitz and his wife and you know, his wife's also a famous actor whose name I can't remember, the two kids and they're on this tour and they're like, oh, you know, they want to leave, but they're not sure how. And then fucking the storyline is actually so crazy. It's so funny. Anyway, then Seth Green and his brother are driving past, who are also racing for the money and they see the car, they recognize the car there and they go and fuck up the engine. So the family leaves the Nazi museum

and they come out and they're like, Oh, we need to, we need some, you know, we need a car. And the piece de resistance of the museum is Hitler's Mercedes Benz. So they steal Hitler's Mercedes Benz and they're driving down the street and John is like, Hi Hitler, you know, this crazy voice. Anyway, eventually they start getting run off the road by these bikeys because they've got little swastika flags on it. Get run off the road with these bikeys and he like smashes on to like, they crash into some convention. He smashes his face up against the, um, like the driving wheel

and comes off with like a little, a little Hitler mustache, but his, his like speeches all impeded because he's, he's banged his mouth and they've crashed into like a world war two veterans convention and he's on the stage and he's trying to explain it to them by his ability to speak as all compromised. So he's doing this like ham German accent. And I was like, holy shit, man. Simpler times, simpler times. But I've got to say like, well, so, but like the movie took a little bit to heat

up, but then some of the storyboards was like, you guys were having fun with this. Man, I saw that at the movies, but I feel like I was a kid when I would say, I liked the movie poster and I didn't even love the movie that much. But I love the poster I had at my room when I was a kid when I liked the movie poster and I didn't even love the movie that much. But I love the poster I had at my room when I was a kid. Do you now revisiting it? You like this kind of slaps? It is, as you say, I mean, you want to hear about, you know, a remnant of a simple time. The movie ends with all of the core cast on stage at a smash mouth benefit concert for

feed the kids and they sing allStar while all of them crowd surf. It's been so interesting. I need like a list if I'm going to bring up this topic, but there's all of these kind of stars of yesteryear who were kind of abused at the time essentially just for being so popular, who have kind of really stood the test of time. I feel like there is a great, so Smash Mouth is an example of this, who have just been nothing apparently, but like respectful to their fans and good dudes and genuinely like the music.

I feel like Limp Bizkit has ridden a similar wave of like, now we actually are into this shit and they've just stayed in this new metal vibe the whole time. And the king of this appears to be Mr. Worldwide himself, Pitbull, who I recently saw a clip of berating, time and the king of this appears to be Mr. worldwide himself pit bull. I recently saw a clip of, um, berating, I think it was in Berlin, a German venue for not having AC and he's like, this is, this is fucked up. Like it's 2025 and we can't get AC in this like sold out venue.

And he like cuts to the white shot. Everyone's in ball caps cause that's how everyone attends his gigs. But he seems like a real one. He seems super legit. I don't just give the title Mr. Worldwide to you. You can't just call yourself Mr. Worldwide.

It is bestowed. This one comes from the 7th of July from Kim on Facebook. And it reads, okay, clearly bought at work today, but here's a storyline in reference to, and just like that. That has to happen. OK, I've not vetted this. Cool. Wyatt clearly hates the country life and surprises Aiden by saying he wants to come to the city during school holidays to stay with him and Carrie. Aiden is shocked by this, but says, hey, buddy.

OK, then Carrie, Aiden and Wyatt go to the Golden Blads for dinner one night and the kids embrace Wyatt. Turns out while he's been gaming, he's also been having a go at coding his own video game. This shocks Aiden again, but he's been so obsessed with no video game talk, there's been no way for Wyatt to tell him about it until now. Rock and Brady play the video game and go, whoa, you should be going to coding camp with kids from Rock's school. They would love this. The kids are bonding so much that Rock suggests they take the scooters to Tasty D Light. Everyone walks down together. Aidan's blown away at seeing Wyatt the happiest he's been for a long time. The kids say come back anytime

and they start chatting online. Aidan and Wyatt talk man to man. Wyatt reminds Aidan that while they are country folk now, the city is where Aidan found both the loves of his life and his career success. So maybe their new life is actually at Gramsci Park with Carrie. This is a revelation. Brady embraces the mentorship of his life and his career success. So maybe their new life is actually at Gramsci Park with Carrie. This is a revelation. Brady embraces the mentorship of Wyatt and this becomes the catalyst for him returning to college. Rock and Wyatt become best friends online.

And because there is a nonstop supply of Adderall in the city, Kathy agrees to the move and they all live happily ever after. The end. I think that this is what should happen. Best from Kim. PS, I love your podcast too much. It's beautiful. That is sincerely a beautiful, positive, triumphant storyline. It puts the focus on characters who while on the surface to show as rendered as irritating, uh, you know, it could be, it could be breathe new life

into it. It's Brady. No, no, no. Wyatt. Oh, right. It sort of feels like, um, I really liked it. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

That's what I was trying to remember that too. I really need to read the rest of that book. I got halfway through. Yeah. If you like the start, you love the end. It's the same story. They keep going with it. From Arlo. You're not hearing anything? No, it was nice from you. It was nice.

Subject line. Ow! I just banged my fucking arm, which is a weird thing to write in a subject line. No, I did just bang my arm. The subject line is AI disaster, a good thing. This is a lot of text. I don't know how much of this I'm gonna get through.

Took some closer pics for legibility. If legible, provide an address and I'll mail it along. All right we've been presented with a bunch of photos here guy. I've just clicked on one to try and enlarge it. Okay we got a typewriter. We got an old-school typewriter here brand Olympia and I'm trying to zoom in enough to read the text it is oh it's too hard to read sorry I. I can make out Dear Tim Guy. I'm pretty sure. But uh, yeah, no, that's uh, I'll have to do something with that. Sorry Arlo. I can't. Oh,

Arlo has included some zoomed in shots. This is going to be tricky. Dear Tim Guy, in the latest friend zone, Tim expressed some hope that the ultimate result of the AI catastrophe we are all staring down the barrel of would be a return to the analog this inspired me to write you on the great the great aunt Betty's 1958 Olympia SM3 manual typewriter. I'm gonna stop there I can't read this comfortably. Oh okay. Okay go for it. Let me for it. Let me turn the thing on, because I think this will get you in for a bit of time. Oh, why don't you make it big? I can't make it big!

There you go. Oh, I can read this. This is beautiful. Yeah, now. Oh, you're complaining about Tim. All you had to do was solve the problem. I genuinely need glasses. I see. Uh, this inspired me to write you on my great aunt Betty's 1958 Olympia SM three manual typewriter. It looks fucking sick by the way, to whoever the author is.

The typeface. Yeah. Computer keyboards have made me quite a lazy typist, so please forgive any mistakes. I'm a newish convert to your podcast, though I have written to you a fair amount since discovering your antipodean antics. So I don't know where to send this sheet. If you'd like the physical copy, please

do send on an address for a PO box or some other identity neutral delivery zone, docs free. Sorry if this winds up over long. I often feel compelled to fill a full sheet when typing. All I really wanted to say is that there is already a movement of people moving back to the analog. I'm 31 years old, but I maintain a healthy correspondence with several dear friends and family by way of the good old US Postal Service, trying to keep it alive by spending $50 a year on stamps. I've wiped my iPhone of all apps

except music and podcasting apps since you can no longer buy a new iPod and now carry a flip phone like it's 2004. I know you lads have talked on a fair bit about the pros and cons of modern convenience and I don't pretend to have all the answers or even answers that are better than yours. I just thought you guys might appreciate a typed letter and some hope that the world may already be looking a little more the way you hope. Anywho, thanks for keeping us all entertained, even if some of us write terrifyingly pretty prose about how much we enjoyed our self-inflicted your self-inflicted psychological torture. We all liked it. That's why we listened to the pod that libertarian last week really went balls out taking the mask off. Taking

the mask. I think the words cut off. I guess off. say my name even if it might be or mightn't be Arlo and then signed Arlo that is cool as hell the typewriter looks cool. Yeah, and the page looks cool as well I'll just give you Tim's home address I actually got a PO box for all of last year and then we Had like one thing sent to us because I never put the address out there and so I stopped paying for it It was not an insignificant amount of money. I think it was like had like one thing sent to us because I never put the address out there. And so I stopped paying for it. It was not an insignificant amount of money. I think it was like three hundred dollars or something.

I've always dreamed of having a PO box. It's pretty cool. Yeah. I love seeing people go with their little keys. That's again, I do. I do like to be analog. One more. Yeah, we got time. We got time. I freaked out before, but I was reading the time wrong. I got one for you and this one here, this is two messages. Um,

one at four 13 on the 10th of July, which is outlining Sminniye. And then sort of with exacerbated energy, fair enough. And the other one, 17 minutes later, holy hell, so this is from the same family. I assume that they send it as listening because what they've responded to is also took place in the most recent family time at the time of publishing.

Holy hell, most recent family time, trying to recall sex in the city film plots, Tim said, very confidently, there's no way they go to Abu Dhabi and have a gay wedding in the same film plots, Tim said very confidently, there's no way they go to Abu Dhabi and have a gay wedding in the same film. And Guy responded, that's true. That's true. Thomas Goto goes so mad at us about this.

You underestimate the chaos and incompetence of mattress pikelet. Sex and the City 2 starts with the gay wedding. I've never seen the film, but I listened to your asses get obliterated by it for a year. Fellas, infamously, the ladies don't end up in Abu Dhabi. They don't reach the main premise of the film until like 45 minutes and a crucial point of frustration and depression for you guys every single watch. It is honestly fucking crazy how bad we got that wrong after watching the movie for a year. Dude, honestly, who would you expect?

Like I take pride in getting it wrong. It's like that is my body having processed the junk food I put in it. It has passed through me. Poisons out. Um, and it continues. I'm really, there you go. They think the same. I'm relieved in a way that you've both successfully purged these details with the films you watched over 50 times, but I'm maybe equally as worried.

Say my, Sminny originated in season one, say my name Jade. So honestly, Jade, thank you so much for that. said for the fact that like it is very different to you and I say things into a microphone and never think about them again and other people to hear them and listen to them. Oh yeah. But that being said, watching a movie 52 times you would think would sort of sear it into your brain. And it turns out time heals all wounds. Which is quite reassuring. That's interesting.

But people for the author of the typewritten letter and also I guess to that Arlo into that question, I mean, I don't want to get ahead of ourselves. We've recently undertaken a project which is to be distributed on this very channel and on our sub stack, which will be a deluxe experience. And it has me reflecting because we watched a movie, I can say that, and I was trying to recount it recently on the weekend. And even that, and that was pretty recently. Even that's gone. And I think about the nature of memory. I was actually talking about it. I was on tour with Carlo on the weekend and Carlo, the depth and breadth of information that Carlo Ricci has is staggering. He's operating on sort of a different plane of knowledge or whatever you want to call it. He is operating, he is greater than what I am capable of.

And you know, because I was also with my friend Joe and Joe and I were talking about memory. And we were like, well, no one's got bad memories. It's just everyone's memory operates differently. And so, you know, I feel like I always have people telling me, you know, Oh, I remember when we did this or you said this. And I'm like, not, you know, it's not personal. It's not rude. It's just like, no, but I, you know, I remember. I can't even remember what I remember now, but I remember other stuff.

My, the way I've looked at it was my own memory is my recall is bad, but it's all in there somewhere, floating around. Maybe something I'm trying to recall in the moment can't do it, but then like a week later it'll, it's Sydney's dad. Yeah, it's Sydney's dad. Um, but no, I mean, look, it's, it's, it's both alarming to forget and also, you know, as we've said, it's, it's, it's welcome news. It's nice to forget that that's passed through more than the Sex and the City

movies, the Fast and Furious franchise, the way we did that. Absolutely. Mark. It's like, honestly, you know, I could watch all the movies from one up now and I'd be like, that's, you know, it would be just 10 movies and we go, that's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah.

And even though I know I found some of them really hard work, I'm sure I could get a lot of pleasure out of it. I'll end our family time meeting today on this. As Guy mentioned, we have engaged in a, not even little project. We've engaged in our project. It was a lot of, it was a lot of work. It was a, you know, you can almost say it was a lot of fun. I sincerely believe what we have made is at the very least properly interesting.

That's a good way to describe it. I think it is genuinely interesting. And I've been listening to podcasts about AI this week. And the more I listen to them, the more I think, like what I'm thinking a lot is like, AI can't do that. And what that is, is what we just did. And I'm just walking around. I'm thinking, I can't do that. Yeah. They're not coming for that job. Yeah. Cause guess what? People never came for that job. Okay. We won't, you know, it's coming down the pipe, but you know,

that, so that probably, if ever there was a time to join the sub stack, it is right now. Um, it was at reasonable costs to all involved to get this project done and, uh, and, and now shaping it into a form for you all. Um, there's going to be a lot, a lot of work, all of the costs. That's time, energy, money, the three main types of costs that exist. Some equipment killed, some equipment lost as well. Um, but you know, if you would like to support the boys, there's never been a better time twiwatt.substack.com and I have been meaning to, and I will get

the Kofi up as well. There we sit. Surely. I pronounce it coffee, but what would I know? been mean to and I will get the Kofi up as well. Very sad. Surely. I pronounce it coffee, but what would I know? Um, You're a simpleton guy. Thanks so much, Tim. Thanks so much listener.

Thanks so much world. If you're in Auckland, I haven't done this for a while. I'm doing a show. Yeah, you are. Doing a big fucking show in the middle of August. I'm doing a show. Yeah, big fucking show in the middle of August, August 15th to Friday, I think at the Kitty to Canoa and the Altaa center. I will have toured this show.

Like it's the last one I'm doing this year. I've done like 60 times. I had the best show I've had. I think of my life on the weekend. I was so, it was crazy. I was being so funny. Where was it? Throl, which is near Wollongong. It's like an hour and a bit south of Sydney.

Yeah. Um, at Anita's Theatre, beautiful venue. Uh, I mean, I, all of the shows were fantastic, but that one in particular, I came off stage and I was like, I swear to God, I said every single joke differently than I'd said it before. It was mad. Anyway, I'm doing it in Auckland. And if you are in Auckland, get a slightly worse experience than the good folk in New South Wales got. Yeah. Well, all come along and say it get better. But I'd love for you to come because it's the last performance of the show and it's become really good. That's what I think. Anyhow, that's by the by. I just wanted to say thanks. of all time. The worst idea,

the worst idea of all time.