The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Time 5

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

The first family time in a long time, aptly recorded in the family room of Tim’s house. Tom Waits and Ken Griffen join us as does a dog in a dressing gown. One listener has launched a podcast built around repeatedly listening to the legendary Prawn Salad. Another has written a song called Guy's Song, a song so powerful Tim decides he is going to reintroduce personalised ringtones starting right here and right now. We get to the bottom of the Cheesecake Factory is valet parking situation thanks to a listener in Illinois and the idea of a 12 Hour, Drug Fueled, Family time is floated, in a quest to get to the bottom of the mail bag.Support us (and watch extra content) at twioat.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time, it's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. Hey, we're here in the family room. Oh, what do I think about the setup? To enjoy family time. It's nice. It's nice. Look at this cabinet. There's a cabinet here.

Look at this record player. Record player there. Look at these speakers. Look at that art. There's Tom Waits' record on display. Ken Griffin painting. You've just been hanging out with Ken Griffin. Stayed with him for two weeks.

Looked like a lot of fun. It was so fun. I really missed that guy. He's a cool guy. He's very talented. He's a great guy. He's a great friend. He's got a great gal. We had a really nice time. Awesome. Got a great place.

Is his girlfriend American? No, sir. What nationality might she be? Rhymes with few Peeland. New Zealand. You got it. Shit, yeah.

You got it in one. It was, yeah, it was great. And it's, you know, it's nice to be in the warm embrace of Timbatt. Timbatt's arms. You are a dog whisperer. Surrounded by dogs. We're not just surrounded by cabinetry and music making and art. We're also surrounded by dogs.

You can actually see the back of one of their head in frame if you're on the sub stack. That's Tui. And you can't see just beneath the collar. Tui is wearing a dressing gown. Yeah, it's a sweater thing. It's a dressing gown because it's got the rope around the middle that you tie around the person's waist,

which is, and I say this with respect, absolutely ludicrous for a dog. I'm not going to get into it. I understand the undercarriage strap, but the person's dressing gown's rope Alright, I'll pick her up So if you're on Substack, you're about to see the dog It is You see the rope?

That is a dressing gown That is a dressing gown for a dog But the thing about a dressing gown is It's a gown for transitioning into dressing. Dogs don't get dressed. Yeah, but this one gets cold or nervous or something. So there we have it. There's so many emails here, man.

It's actually, it's overwhelming because we've... It's been a while. I think I've said this before, but I do have a dream of us doing like a 12-hour stream where we just get through all of them. I like it. We just do a live stream and we just empty out the inbox and just fucking hoe in.

Well, I mean, as I was saying earlier. We should do drugs and do that. Yeah, we should. That's like a good idea. The problem is it's been a while since I could hold my head up high. And it's been a while since I first saw you. Hold my head up high. And it's been a while since I first saw you.

It's been a while since I could stand on my... No, that's She Fucking Hates Me. What? No, there was a cover, wasn't it? Puddle of Mud's big song was She Fucking Hates Me. How does that go? She fucking hates me. Did they write that? I don't know, but that was their biggest song song I thought that was like a fucking Nirvana song

Some bands biggest songs are a cover Stained Stained Fucking stained Good god The muck The muck and the mire Do you want to read any of these messages or anything man?

Yeah Yeah? Do you? I'm just like They're so old now this one this one's over a year old hey there's quite actually many people messaged in april uh to inform us that a florida man has watched the spider-Man movie 292 times to reclaim a Guinness World Record. That was wrongfully taken. Yeah.

That's their prerogative. I'm in the Instagram. It's 292. Fucking hell. That's too many. Yeah. It is too many. The story references Oh what this is the same guy He previously held the same record

For 191 viewings of Avengers Endgame But was subsequently beaten by Anand Klein who watched Oh wait what is the record that we're going for here according to the Guinness World Records Romero

Alanis from Florida has reclaimed the world record for the most cinema productions attended of the same film this motherfucker went to the cinema 292 times for Spider-Man No Way Home wow between December 16 21 and March 15, 22.

That is a gap of less than three months. How does this work? 720 hours of Spider-Man across like 10 weeks. Trying to do the math? Well, that one's nice and simple across like 10 weeks. Trying to do the maths? Well, that one's nice and simple because that's 72 hours a week of Spider-Man. That's almost two full-time jobs, Spider-Man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't get paid for Guinness World Records, do you? I don't think so. Who would pay? Guinness? Because there's so many don't think so who would pay? Guinness? because there's so many different ones who would pay it?

you know who started the Guinness World Records? who? Guinness yeah the brewery I knew that yeah

surely you do now wasn't it to settle bar bets? you're welcome that was kind of the thing what other companies have done wild shit

like that? Michelin? you just gave me new information what about the guinness thing well that's like the fucking i don't know if that's true but that's what they say is that michelin that was a roadmap for place you could eat yeah because they wanted to send people to places where your tires would get fucked up oh so they made this book based on all these like pretty good restaurants but you had to fuck your car off to get there yeah which is genius i do like that michelin man he's a cool guy yeah remy used to look like him when he was little he's so fat yeah i like that i like i like um baby's rolls can you think of any other companies that have just got to squeeze them wild shit goes really like lean and tall now um i wouldn't describe him as lean he's pretty tall

he's not like baby fat anymore how many words in a sentence he came up to me the other day and he said dad i've done a poo and i was like all right let's sort that out. That's solid. Yeah. On the shitter. Hey, no, no, no. He's in naps at the moment. In his trousers. Yeah, in his trousers. In his nappy. This is a bit different, guy.

Hi, Timbo and Guy Guy. After all the years of supporting you on Patreon, it wasn't until Substack made the process of adding the podcast feed so easy that I was able to catch up on old episodes of The Deciders Club. I've had a blast listening to you brave boys trying to get through some truly dire material and delighting at films like Primer, a movie

I always forget the title of. It doesn't matter how many times I Google it, I always forget that it's called Primer. It's a good fucking movie. Keep it coming. When talking about toys, you rhapsodized about Robin Wright, who is truly magical and a wonder in everything.

I wanted to recommend a film, particularly for Tim, called The Congress. It's something of a trip about digital rights, AI, consciousness, and the power of the human heart. Sounds like Black Mirror. Robin Wright plays a fiction,

very good, plays a fictionalized version of herself and it still holds up nine years after release. I hope you can track it down and watch it. I also wanted to comment on your discussion of the classic favorite film, Jersey Girl. Ben Affleck, as Ollie, publicly insults Will Smith early on and loses his career over it. Later in the film, he has a chance meeting with

Smith who is unaware of who he is but persuades him that his family is the most important thing in his life. Listening back to that now was somewhat wild. With what we know about Will Smith in 2022 this is clearly a very fictional version who wouldn't remember

someone publicly insulting him after seven years. I think real life Smith would perhaps have remembered that person and maybe possibly had some sort of reaction to them. What kind of reaction? We cannot say. All the best. Please say my name. I'll say the first bit.

You say the last bit. Math? Ayas. You got it. I didn't look. For those of you playing along at home that was just on instinct has what Will Smith did

a year and a half ago changed your perception of him? yeah I think it has still? yeah you think differently of him now? than I did before he punched someone at the Oscars

he slapped him yeah hit someone at the Oscars what do you think of him? I think less of him I think he's a tiny man i think he's a tiny man i think he's a tiny man he should have got out of his marriage a long time ago now he's making everyone else's problem yeah he is a bit i hate to play armchair relationship therapist but that's

my fucking two cents if anyone's asking yeah how about you guy you think he's the same old Yeah Same old Fresh Prince I'm just like You know He's had an interesting career He was the biggest star for a while And then Without that happening He was on the wane

Yes And then that happened And then After he had the You know One of the great nights of his life Before Him before

What? He slapped Chris Rock And then he won the Oscar for best actor Correct One of the great nights of his life. Before. Him before. What? He slapped Chris Rock and then he won the Oscar for best actor. Correct. That's kind of cool. It's a big night. It's a big night. Who could top that?

Jada. By fucking Chris Rock later that night. Yeah, if she did. I don't think she did. I doubt that they have sex. Jada and Chris Rock late at that night. Yeah, if she did. I don't think she did. I doubt that they have sex. Jada and Chris Rock. Yeah, I doubt that too. It was a spurious rumor.

I couldn't think of anyone who would have a bigger night than that. Nah. Slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars and then winning an Oscar. That was good news. You know, like your Alec Baldwin bit. Big news, yeah. It wasn't good news. It wasn't good news, but That was good news. You know, like your Alec Baldwin bit. Big news, yeah. It wasn't good news. It wasn't good news, but it was good news. Yeah.

I mean, I was trying to get the cadence, but sometimes you just got to give that shit to the experts. It hasn't changed my perception of him. He's still just a guy. He's just a famous guy with a person's problems. You didn't grow up with the Fresh Prince, though, As kind of a big fixture in your life, eh? No, but I know about it I knew it was around

I saw the episodes I liked watching the bloopers and the credits Right I love Jeffrey Yeah You know, I got it I had a crush on Whitney The sister

No She was a babe Whitney? The Hillary or the younger one the the older one although hillary yeah hillary yeah hillary and whitney are not they're the same now that they're slightly different names i do have a theory with names go on some names are the same even though they're different tim and james i reckon are the same. I'll give you that. I think if you mistake someone who's called Tim for someone called James,

I think that's fine. Yeah, same. I think... Kate and Jane? Kate and Jane? They're the same. Yeah. It's the same name yeah guy i don't actually share it guys anthony and guy yeah yeah yeah yeah no yeah no my brain they're in the same like filing cabinet drawer of names yeah yeah how do you file your names vibe it's a vibe

even like that's not even mouthfeel or syllable they're not on the same page yeah and and yet here we are yeah guy and anthony i'm just gonna keep reading stuff too i got one here it's old they're all old guy because we're going chronologically hey brave boys loving the new season this is March this year though two quick things the hottie in Fast 8 who looks like a Hemsworth is Scott Eastwood

Clint Westwood typos son and agreed total smoke show two I contend that the wording in Fast 9 is false

because Charlize Theron didn't actually kill what's her face she directed someone else to do it so the line really should be this is the boss of the man who killed the mother

of your child it's pure madness but it's accurate that's funny Cypher the boss of the man that killed the mother of your child

that is a better line we received $10 US from Reid. Reid said, love the pod, never stop. Never stop. Are you going to take that to heart? Never stop, never stopping. I'm not going to let anyone who emails or messages us on social media control the outcome of my life.

They gave you $10 though. Persuasive, but still no what about this person who gave us 55 us dollars that's actually huge you need to explain what's going on here guy someone on instagram send us a a meme specific to fast um six that's not going to work I was trying to force the camera to focus try one of these ones it's not going to work

it's the Rock and Vin Diesel not making eye contact but framed up for us to believe that they're kind of having a moment together and it's just a shot that we see on camera which is from the sort of bicep up and then someone's crudely drawn underneath it their bodies and they have the rock

very little standing on a height box like an apple box and Vin Diesel looking giant and it's kind of funny because I don't really get it can you send that on to me i won't remember but in the one percent chance i do i'll put it in so people can see hi tim and guy thank you for all you do fellas i told tim on ig that you are both welcome to stay as guests if you're ever in rhode, United States of America. Wow. And the offer remains indefinitely.

Love, Adam and Jade. Say them, por favor. Did. Adam and Jade. Thanks very much, Adam and Jade. Very generous offer and very generous $55. Yeah? Fucking sick, actually.

Are you feeling sick? No, like that sick was a lie oh yeah it's nice that rocks this one oh Tim this is news

okay legit yeah this is news okay this just in twitter dm twitter dm

at twio at pod it's a link can you sit back down there? Because I just remembered I turned autofocus off, which is why. I was imagining that we were just cutting to this from. It's nice when I lean forward for it, but it's okay. Dearest Guy and Tim,

I apologize for not fully knowing how to open this conversation. And if this wasn't the best method to approach you, you've got a kid. I'm a huge fan of the worst idea of all time and wanted to reach out to you regarding a fan project i've been working on as of june 28th i will have listened to season one episode 29 prawn salad every day for three weeks in a row as part of a podcast i have titled the worst prawn

salad of all time oh i would try to explain myself but i think you two probably get the gist As part of a podcast I have titled, The Worst Prawn Salad of All Time. I would try to explain myself, but I think you two probably get the gist, considering it blatantly mirrors your own work. I was going to wait until I had one full month to reach out, but instead decided it would be better to do so now, as there would be a chance of a response before I hit that milestone. The absolute dream would be

if I could get you two on for an episode, but I fully understand if that's not possible. I still wanted to ask if I could ask some questions or get some insight from you guys about the episode, as well as to just share with the two of you what I'm doing. I frankly couldn't think of a better way to show my appreciation for the hours upon hours of comedy you boys have given me. If you want to check out the show, here is the link.

If you read this at all, thanks so much. So that's on Spotify. The podcast is called The Worst Prawn Salad of All Time. Wow. How do you feel? Quite an undertaking. Grossed out.

Grossed? Yeah. Out? On their behalf. Yeah. Because that would make me feel yucky if I had to do that. Yeah.

So I hope it's not bringing you too much um insanity or ill feeling i guess that i don't know if that episode holds up no it'll be that kind of uh regime it really is a full circle treatment though isn't it the first episode is called prawn pilot it's 31 minutes. This is the inaugural episode of the worst prawn salad of all time. Listen in for more details. Episode two, tired.

I am so tired. How long is that one? 30 minutes. Episode three, getting it together. Here are my third listen to prawn salad in a row. I think I'm finally getting it together. Biff it on, biff an episode on, put it to the mic, let's see what's going on here. Let's have a little listen.

Probably scrub past that because we stopped using it for copyright reasons. An intro, a very crude intro for this, the third episode of the podcast. Hello and welcome to the worst prawn salad of all time, a worst idea of all time fan cast in which I listen to exclusively the 29th episode of that podcast, season one, entitled Prawn Salad. Can you believe it? Every day for an undetermined amount of time. And as you might be able to hear from my surroundings, I'm taking in a bit of fresh air. Can you bear it? It's so nice.

In a car? In a car watching you talking about porn salad for a month? This is strangely compelling. I think it's certainly to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah for sure well anyway we can talk about that and respond but were there any specific

direct questions in the email or message any direct questions no no no it was just a piece of advice hey this is what I'm doing. Let me know if you'd want to do it or if I can ask you some questions. Got it.

Got it. The dogs aren't happy about this. The dogs will be fine. Okay. I'm getting to our next thing. How does it make you feel if someone listens to Prawn Salad every day for... That's their prerogative.

...weeks and weeks? Everyone's doing all sorts of stuff that's it eh I feel like people are doing this kind of stuff out there now you know people are doing

there's someone doing everything yeah yeah there is um five dollars came our way via Gabriel

I'm a known contrarian my five dollar pledge remains unedited on Patreon waiting for you frosty fellas to come to your senses. I'm an OG supporter of the Troops since June 2019 at the $5 tier.

And never did it for the bonus content. I just love you brave boys. That's so nice. That's really nice. That's so good. So I think this person has given us $5 to be like, listen, I'm not going to support you on Substack. I'm just going to give you on sub stack i'm just

going to give you five dollars that rocks i'm going to read this next one i am getting out of turn but i'm going to do it you ready yeah okay here it is dearest tim the guy bat and guy the tim montgomery found you boys a few years ago but it took a while to really catch my footing and bringing this twisted little project this past fort oh binging sorry this twisted little project it's past fortnight however i've been ignoring all other podcasts the blast i like the sorry to pause you i like that you said bringing and i like um i like pronouncing it i've not done it before i like the idea of pronouncing binging binging binging yeah and i also have been thinking a lot about

Pronouncing the word doing As doying What are you doing later? That's good We do it for boing Doing What are you doing? It's really fun

This past fortnight however I've been ignoring All other podcasts To blast through Twiwa At a rate of 10 to 14 episodes Per day Jesus this is spider-man material

I'm just finishing up at the third and final season and I can't wait to crack on with the fourth and final season anyways I smoked some electric boogaloo and made you good boys a song on my phone it's called guys song but the lyrics are heavily influenced by Tim

hope you enjoy from Sterling. Thank you, Sterling. Sounds like a Sterling idea. The dogs are not part of the song. You You are You are a real You are, you are a real, you are a real piece, you are a real piece of shit, Guy Montgomery.

You are a real piece of shit, Guy Montgomery. You are a real piece of shit, Guy Montgomery, you are a real piece of shit. Guy Montgomery, you are a real piece of shit. Guy Montgomery. Okay, here's what I have to say in response to that it dawned on me recently that the age of personalized ringtones unfortunately has escaped us and we need to claim it back i'm changing my ringtone to that that i can't think of higher praise you're rerouting not just tim's phone but hopefully you know the arc of society's relationship to ringtones yeah i just got an old one here tim thanks stealing this is so good um and i'm gonna call it this is the last one for today right on

uh it's from someone who's they haven't said whether i can say their name or not so i won't It's from someone who's They haven't said whether I can say their name or not So I won't 28th of April Hi, just finished listening to the Cheesecake Factory episode And I wanted to let you guys know Since you never got to the bottom of it I've been to a Cheesecake Factory with valet parking

The one in Oakbrook, Illinois has it Or at least used to I don't think it's super common for them to have it As they are mostly attached to the malls But the nearby restaurants in Oakbrook all offer valet So or at least used to. I don't think it's super common for them to have it as they are mostly attached to the malls, but the nearby restaurants in Oakbrook all offered valet, so I think they're just trying to compete. Plus, they were all sharing a parking lot. I'll also add that you guys were right on the money

with the chaotic menu. It's a well-known thing, even in the US, that there's too much on the menu. The menu is about 20 pages. That being said, I very much enjoyed listening to you guys discover the Cheesecake Factory Live on the pod This is a perfect message We've got closure

Yeah We've got props It's just a delight So thank you Good word economy on it Yeah Thank you person Whose name

Exists And does not need To be broadcast And with that Family members I don't know I was going to say I need to get broadcast. And with that, family members, I don't know. I was going to say I need to get my sick ass to bed.

I'm sick at the moment. Yeah, you're not all the way healthy. No, but I'll rally. Like North Carolina, he'll rally. Bye, everyone. See you next time, which is soon. See you soon. See you soon.

We're going to watch, and just like that, the new ones. See you there. Bye. You guys are doing a little dance. Catch ya. Okay, take care. It's the worst idea It's the worst idea of all time