The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Time 7

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

Guy is in bed with the flu, Tim is about to embark on a thirty-hour journey with a two-year-old, but one thing takes precedence over all of that—family.We hear from Kris, a Wisconsinite who has reached out both in the present day and in the past, with a speculative fan theory about Fast X (written before the release of the actual movie). We then hear from Chris Marlton, one of our TWIOAT scholars who takes us on an illuminating and oftentimes hilarious (if you'll excuse our hubris) journey through his learnings from a FIFTH LISTEN THROUGH OF THE ENTIRETY OF THE PODCAST. Tim then shares a story of new knives and the noble security person from Queenstown Airport who helped him avoid a confiscation.Support us via our Substack for access to premium content Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time, it's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. Cause it's time for family time, my baby I like it Do you know there's nothing more family time Than me doing this right now With you, right now I don't think either of us have the time or desire But family knows no boundaries. It knows no bounds.

I got the desire. I'm thirsty. Thirsty for a bit of family time. Time for a family meeting, guy. Okay. Dad, I'm sick. How are you feeling, bro? Let's start there.

I've been running hot. I've been running cold. It's been, honestly, it fills me with gratitude for how much of the year I've been running hot, I've been running cold It's been, honestly It fills me with gratitude For how much of the year I've been healthy There have been a lot of sick people around me Both at home and just friends And, you know, family I'm perennially sick

Because I'm a fucking sick guy Yeah, so I'm bitterly disappointed I kind of also take Weird and unhealthy pride in my immune system. So there's an extra strike of embarrassment in having gotten got. I've been on bed rest for coming on 48 hours now. I am bored of myself.

I'm bored of the internet. Do you think you were pushing it a bit? Because you were doing a lot of stuff right up until when you got sick. Do you think you were kind of sick and you were ignoring it? I don't want to put you on blast at all or connect any timelines for people. No, I mean, it's a reasonable question. I think, yeah, the timing was opportune in that I have very little on this week. And so there is a chance that it's that, like, you know,

my body lodging a request for a break. And quite politely, too. You scheduled in some sickness. Good for it and good for you. I'm going to have a beer. Oh, that sounds fun. Yeah, I've been running a fever. But look, Tim, truth be told,

I'm close to feeling the best I have since I came down. I thought it was going to be a week-long kind of flu. I'm hoping for like a 48-hour sort of fever that just blasts through my body. Only time will tell. But I will say doing very basic things is still quite tiring and it's not covered because i keep checking yeah it hasn't stopped you potting and i appreciate that yeah with your boy which is me i'm your boy it's tim i couldn't stop i mean i could have but i wouldn't

stop won't stop yeah game stop i am this just in 24 hours from now all going to plan will be in the air because uh tomorrow i'm embarking on the dumbest fucking thing i've decided to do for a while that's it's an interesting review before you've done it um i certainly i i think it's it's, admirable and also insane what you're doing and I don't think I've heard you refer to it in such I would say disparaging terms but with any

element of... Mike's gone a bit funny there I just turned it down a touch because it was peaking on my end. Oh is it getting a bit hot? Yeah Can you tell me about the mental timeline from well first of all for those who don't know why the trip is a challenge, Tim will be traveling with beautiful Remy. you can go when you start from Auckland, New Zealand. And I'm going to be in London for like five days and then fly home. And it takes about 30 hours to get there

and 30 hours to get back. And I'm bringing my toddler, just me, four 12-hour flights inside a week just me and remy so talk to me about uh just where you're at booking it like mentally in terms of like it's gonna be okay it's gonna be okay uh to like now steering down the barrel of sitting on this plane with a two-year-old how you've done a lot of prep i've done a lot of prep. What are you looking for? I bought so many toys and so many snacks. I've overshot it, I think, a little bit.

Last night, I didn't do any kind of thinking or preparation about it until last night. And I was like, oh, I'm off in 48 hours. I should probably look into this. So I started going on like top 10 tips for traveling with toddlers lists online of course number one book the earliest morning flight you can because they are the least likely flights to be cancelled or delayed i have done the opposite okay really good so we're off to a flying start don't excuse the pun i won't welcome it tip number two uh well it seems to me that i'm not gonna fucking go through the the muck and the mire of it but it seems like the the cut and thrust is this get a get four things and just keep rotating them we've got snacks

put some shit on a tablet have books toys and just keep rotating until they sleep I've got some melatonin I know the correct dosage that he's allowed to have for his weight we've got Pam old shit hits the fan

we've got many different snacks doing everything I think you have doing everything I can you have in spades which I think will be a huge benefit to you is a good attitude because ultimately you know all of your best laid plans they might go to waste

and at the end of the day it's going to be you and him up there and it's going to be on you to hold it down because the guy he's intelligent but he's also too this is the thing and he's turned a real corner in the last week to the point where i don't think i'd have booked the flights now knowing what he's capable of what's he been doing a lot of toddler kind of behavior just really really knocking his almost two-year-old weight around and he's adventurous he's confident he's got

opinions yeah he's got big opinions big thoughts about the world and he's not afraid to communicate them god bless him um my secret weapon though which was something i'd been reading about on the internet and i think i'd like i'm not on tiktok but tiktoks get delivered to me i think through like youtube shorts or instagram or something. Like bribing flight attendants and the passengers around you with chocolate to kind of associate them. And I'm gunning for an upgrade. I reckon I've got it in me. Wow.

How do you do it? He's a cute kid, and I've bought some chocolate bars for the flight attendants, and I'm going to get Remy to do a bunch of like pictures with crayon at the airport and then write on the back of them. Sorry if I'm loud, I'm two. And wave them around and I reckon I can get an upgrade. Shit.

I'm going to get an upgrade or an aneurysm. One of the two. You could get both. You know, even in business class, Remy's still two. I like that. I mean, I now feel when there's a loud baby, I mean, you know, noise cancelling headphones

obviously have changed flying for everyone. But when you're young, before even the spectre of responsibility that comes with being a parent is in front of you obviously it's very easy to be frustrated by the crying baby or by the parent for the last however long all sympathies of course just go to the parent it's like it's you know well and the baby but you don't need to over correct you don't need to apologize to people before anything's happened.

I'm all for buttering up the flight attendants, but the people sitting next to you, they'll just sit there. They'll see you sit down with Remy. They'll think, fuck, fuck, and that's fine. Yeah, but if I throw chocolate at them, it greases the wheels a little bit. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

I think it's going to be tough. It's going to be a real roll of the dice, but I reckon it's going to be all right. What about tough It's going to be a real roll of the dice But I reckon it's going to be alright What about on arrival? What have you got in front of you? Touchdown Staying with my brother Which is the reason I'm going

Hanging out with him For like two and a half days Fantastic Uncle Dave and Aunt Amanda To Remy Not to everyone To me, she's my sister-in-law and uh you aren't you're my sister-in-law that's what i'm gonna say when i get off the plane um then i've got a wedding and it's gonna be be a biggie it's Nick Sampson's wedding is Remy spoken for

is he coming it's still up in the air because Dave and Amanda could look after him if the what is it called a meet cute if that goes well on days one and two but we've got to see if there's chemistry

do you know what there's gonna be chemistry and if i were you i would be doing everything to engineer that chemistry yeah a hundred percent but we'll see of course it's not a given but i will do everything in my power to make sure that i do not have a baby at that wedding yeah man you got a big you got it you got a big a big day a big week coming up you've got a huge like i hope you um take notes this could be the bedrock for a comedy show a stand-up show like well i hope so because that will that will be infinitely more justifiable to write it off as a tax expense which i'm going to do either way so if inland revenue is asking um this is this is all just for me to do a comedy show about oh man well i mean if it goes well that's great

because you've just had a fantastic holiday if it goes poorly you could have a show on your hands yeah that's true. And also, it's not cynical because you haven't engineered the trip to write a comedy show. You've booked a trip. Unless the tax department is asking, in which case I have. Yeah. I don't know what the rules with that stuff is. I'm going to be doing meetings, and that's the reason I'm going.

Yeah. If Uncle Sam is listening to me Our Uncle Sam Who's that? I don't fucking care Probably it's New Zealand Listen man Family time is not exclusively about me Though I appreciate the generosity

Of you wanting to really dig into What's going on in my world I am interested and excited and hopeful and supportive. And? Sick. Yeah. Mainly sick. The main one I am is sick.

I am going to dig deep into the mailbag. Yeah, good one, yeah. Unless you want to. deep into the mailbag. Yeah, good one, yeah. Unless you want to. I do have one here. I can have a look around. 2022, 20th of April. I'm trying to figure out how to use Facebook. Okay, I'll just read it.

This is from 19th of April, 2022, 8, 19 AM, New Zealand time. Hi, Tim and Guy, if you will.

I will. You guys need to talk about this. You guys need to talk this guy down off the ledge, but I suppose it's too late. It definitely is now because it's over a year since this email was sent. If you're not afraid to, are we the only podcast that reads fan mail from like over a year ago? Do you think?

No one else is doing that. It's innovative. Is it a badge of honor? It's different, isn't it? Yeah, difference a word for it. Difference important on the internet. Here's the link. Otherwise, search for it.

I am not suggesting you attempt to break this record the article says he did it while quote balancing family and work obligations so maybe he's a role model take care from alex i've got a huffpo link and the title is florida man holds p long enough to break world record watching Spider-Man No Way Home. I think I remember this news item doing the rounds. He spent $3,400 on tickets to see Spider-Man No Way Home 292 times. While balancing work and life responsibilities. Yeah, I think that was at the cinema. I heard about that.

Yeah, thanks, Alex. I've got no need to engage with um with that i got something for you go on hi boys i know you get a lot of these so i'll keep this short you're repeating your repeated viewings of the fast franchise inspired me to ask my best friends to also travel the Fast cinematic universe. Since it's now possible to simply watch movies without some sort of twist, we were originally going to watch them chronologically in terms of the actual time of day relative to their movie number, i.e. watching Fast 1 at 1pm, 2 Fast 3 Furious at 2pm, Tokyo Drift at 3pm, etc. until we watched Fast X at 10pm. Then we realised that we're in our mid-30s and that our bodies physically can't meet the demand that such viewings would dutifully take. So we decided to do a bog-standard drinking game instead. Basically, I love this logic of

we can't stay up to watch a two-and-a-half-hour movie at 10, but we just blast our bodies with alcohol at 1pm. We decided to do that and drink game and said basically every time a member of the family obeys traffic law we take a shot for example is tom wearing a seat belt take a shot did brian come to a full and complete stop at a traffic light take a shot it's helped to keep the movies engaging at their most mundane moments okay that's everything keep up the good work boys signed a very proud twiowat substack member chris from milwaukee wisconsin usa ps i emailed my fast x theory last us thanksgiving day 2022 and never heard back

i won't take that personal but i do ask that he read the 17 page theory on your own time because someone else needs to suffer for the work that it entailed 17 i i mean sorry did this the internet cut out there briefly um that person sent us a 17 page email timbo yeah email timbo a fast x theory, 17 pages on US Thanksgiving last year. It sounds like you're still in April. What's this person's name? Let's bring it up. Let's go to the computer. Chris.

Chris is all I get? Chris is spelled K-R-I-S. Nope. Did you say K-R-I-S? Yeah. Nope. Sorry, bud. The reason why is I don't appear to...

Hold on. Here it is. I searched. Yeah. Okay. Finally joined Patreon and Fast and Furious 10 fan theory. This is somewhat long. I'm going to forge you the email guy if you go into your gmail and

we'll take turns eh oh we're gonna get into it now yeah we are oh wow look at that chris ask and you shall receive you've done it here's the start hey boys hope all is well long time fan of the podcast a new member of your patreon club i'll just put a little uh editor's note in here um we've gone over to substack now if you want to join us and see some video episodes and bonus content uh it was long overdue as you frosty fellas have provided many hours of entertainment during some rough times i'm not a phd student or a libertarian but i am a fan of the fast and furious franchise. So imagine my pure excitement when you announced your next steps during the most recent Till Death Do Us Blart podcast.

I fully understand that these aren't what most people would call good movies, but they are packed with entertainment value and are ripe for you two nut twisters to poke fun at. Now that the pleasantries are aside, I wanted to share why I really emailed you on this wonderful Thanksgiving day. I recently watched Fast 9. There was enough open-endedness during the final scenes to really take the series to another level, so I had an idea for a potential plot slash crossover for the next Fast and Furious movie.

My theory is compiled below. I also posted this to read it but as with anything not in the hive mind it was promptly downvoted into oblivion and never seen again here is that original post fast nine spoilers below a brief recap of the end of fast nine for context one of the biggest moments in the movie is when ludacris and tyrese launch themselves inside a car into space in order to destroy a satellite. The two talk about this in the final scene of the movie where we join the entire cast at Dom's house for a cookout. During this cookout scene, we learn that the two were up there a few weeks and discovered by a space station crew. Later in that same scene, we see a blue Mitsubishi Lancer pull up to their house before cutting to credits. Although we never see him, we assume that the driver is Brian, whom they were waiting for before saying grace. Fast 9 ends here.

Here's where my story for Fast 10 picks up. As Fast 10 begins, we see Brian get out of the car and make his way to the family. Everyone is excited to see him, except for Ludacris and Tyrese. They are absolutely shocked and confused, because it's not Brian at all. At least, not the Brian they know instead of Paul Walker who sadly passed away, RIP Brian is actually played by actor Jason Momoa

to everyone else in the family this is totally normal and expected the new Brian mentions a new case he's on regarding a terrorist group in New York City that is working on securing futuristic military grade technology that even Brian himself admits he barely understands. Ludacris and Tyrese leave the cookout completely dumbfounded, but of course agree to the mission with the rest of the team. As they carry out the mission, both Ludacris and Tyrese notice little inconsistencies in the team, like Dom is driving an electric car to the mission, stuff like that.

They eventually fail the mission stuff like that they eventually fail the mission because someone completed it first before they even got there the team assumes it's a counterintelligence operation possibly another another foreign government trying to secure this futuristic technology for themselves now they have to deal with two enemies for this world-changing technology ludicrous's character in the fast series is very science-minded and calculated he eventually figures out that when he and tyrese were in space they accidentally entered a wormhole into a parallel universe they keep this to themselves out of fear and knowing that no one would believe them

do you want to jump into yeah i would love to and then it's later in the movie now and once again they fail another mission to secure the futuristic technology because the other team gets their first but this time they get their first glimpse albeit in a dark room of the enemy soldiers who keep getting their first these aren't normal soldiers either they are highly trained in weaponry and martial arts after a lengthy and even-sided battle these mysterious figures are eventually revealed they are the teenage mutant ninja turtles in the next scene we find out that they're trying to stop the foot clan and shredder from gathering the futuristic technology because it would effectively change the world this technology has the ability to create

portals into other dimensions and shredder is intent on merging his world with another in order to take over both however the turtles have been effective in stopping it even securing a piece to prevent shredder's plan from happening shredder eventually makes their appearance played by none other than charlize teron who was originally cypher and the cyber terrorist in the normal universe but shredderder in this universe. She manages to steal the missing piece from the turtles and put together the portal. Eventually the turtles and the fast team encounter

the Foot Clan and Shredder for an incredible final battle to prevent the portal from activating and save the world. Unfortunately, Shredder frees herself enough to activate the portal but can't figure out how to merge the universes. She is then defeated shortly after by the Ninja Turtles and Vin Diesel. As the Turtles and F.A.S.T. team stand around the portal, Ludacris realizes that this may

be he and Tyrese's only chance to return to their world. He has an aha moment and understands why the portal wasn't merging universes. Ludacris deduces that they need a way to build up enough speed to break through the energy barrier that prevents the universes from collapsing onto each other they need something with NOS Dom understands what must be done and offers his electric vehicle

which uses NOS in this universe as the vessel that will take them through the portal and let them return home Ludacris and Tyrese say their goodbyes to the turtles get in the electric vehicle jam the accelerator and hit the NOS the plan works and they return to the universe but in the process

the chaotic energy hit the nos the plan works and they return to the universe but in the process the chaotic energy destroys the portal the movie ends with ludacris and tyrese hugging in the car not believing the adventure they just had all of a sudden they hear something in front of the car they go outside pop the frunk which i'm assuming is front trunk and look inside with wide eyed shock the movie cuts to black before we see what they saw, creating the ultimate cliffhanger for Fast 11. The end. If, for some godforsaken reason, you've made it this far

and decided to read it on a friend's own, please don't say my name. I'm ashamed of this. Thanks for the great show. Too late. Wow. There's an addendum.

I'm sure you boys have your reasons not acknowledging the lengthy Fast 10. Yeah, because we're slow. That's all. I've got a new fan theory for Fast 11, which I call it Fast 11 Cruise Control. The Fast 10 must battle a sentient AI codenamed Tron Cruise, voiced by Tom Cruise. I think I've got an album called

Con Trues. I like the name. And vinyl. Hal Benton wiping out humanity with its fleet of killer Teslas. Turn it up to 11 with Fast 11 Cruise Control. I like that.

I like that theory I want to forge you something else Guy because this is from I'm getting out of order now, this is from March of this year originally but I've got an email chain that came to the top because this person replied again this morning or earlier today

and it's salient to where we're at with and just like that okay and I think you're going to enjoy it, I actually haven't read it in full and it's salient to where we're at with and just like that. Okay. And I think you're going to enjoy it. I actually haven't read it in full, but I'd like you to. Okay. If you don't mind.

Or if you're feeling too sick to do that, I'm happy to. I can do it. I can do it. I believe in myself. I believe in Guy after flu. Flu, flu, flu. Have you sent it to me? Yeah, I have

It starts Just vibrated Hello, Timmery, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim And graciously guilted guy Do not say my name in case this gets back In case this gets back to him, he knows who I am I'd recently picked up the podcast during the latter end of the pandemic and starting with season two it's brought to mind that one of my neighbors acted in the sex in the city show

not having been familiar with that particular piece of media i chalked it up to him playing a secondary role as a reoccurring character or some such but much to my surprise when i looked it up it turns out that he was steve all along found it quite interesting having my neighbor be discussed in one of my favorite podcasts never had the guts to ask if he's heard of you guys so that's on the table maybe he's a fan i'd like to say that your podcast has been hilarious and comforting carrying me off to sleep for nearly half a year i tend to kind of blitz through podcasts. Now that I'm nearly caught up with the current feed, I can't wait to see what you have next.

P.S. If you're wondering, he's pretty nice and built his own patio. P.P.S. One time he did film like a big scene for Chicago Fire, the other show he's most famous for, right around the corner from his house, which felt suspiciously like hunting for a short commute, but I can't hold that against him. What the fuck next email which was sent five days later having listened to latter episodes of and just like that i'd like to deeply

reiterate to not say my name he knows who i am and what i look like and then uh flash forward that was march so what are we now five months later i hope this doesn't get lost in the quagmire of your inboxes and honestly you're and honestly your reading process doesn't seem to be the most organized but i blame you for this i blame you not for i blame you not for this sorry I'm rambling I really hope this there's a total absence of punctuation I cannot stress that enough I really hope this

finds you especially with your last episodes I feel like this information would be interesting P.S. if there are any questions about him

I'm happy to answer except like his address I don't want to know a damn thing I know all I want to know you've said he's a nice guy What about your address?

He's built his own patio Seems reasonable Good Hey Tim I've got one more It's long It's like PhD level correspondence It's from

You know there are two guys Dueling it out for sort of They're treating the podcast with irreverence Which it doesn't deserve You know, there are two guys dueling it out for sort of, they're treating the podcast with a reverence, which it doesn't deserve. Oh, yeah, yeah. Chris Malton. Yeah.

We got one from him. I can't wait to hear it. So for the uninitiated, there seem to be two individuals who are semi-competitively listening to our podcast and have done, respectively, like three or four goes around of all the content we've released, which is just crazy stuff. Here you go. Hello, Tim and hello, Guy. Season one, episode four. Guy, I'm still of the opinion we can find purpose the deeper we go. hello Tim and hello Guy season 1 episode 4 Guy I'm still of the opinion we can find purpose

the deeper we go this is like you're exploring underwater let's go deeper, let's go further under the sea Tim, what if it's not deep sea diving what if it's like a drug trip and we don't come back Guy, I don't think it's strong enough Tim, you'll never know.

The fifth listen through was an absolute romp. This film is an absolute romp. Season one, episode four. Season one, episode 21. That's a quote from us, by the way. Season one, episode 52. Season two, episode 12. Season four, episode one. Season 1. Episode 21. That's a quote from us, by the way. Season 1. Episode 52. Season 2. Episode 12. Season 4. Episode 1. Season 4. Episode 36.

Season 4. Episode 45. My Week with Cats. Episode 1. Home Alone 3. Episode 1. DC 37. Direct commentary. And has that been from my mouth ever? It doesn't say.

I think we know. It used to bother me slightly that the seasons, especially the earlier seasons, would build to a crescendo and then fizzle with a series of live episodes that, while obviously a celebration at the end of the 50-ish watches, were playing to the live crowd

as much as the recorded crowd and therefore not as funny. On the fifth listen, my opinion has changed. The seasons are like the Tour de France. At the end of the race, the crowds are all around the riders, cheering, surrounding them. The seasons are grand tours of cycling, and the crowds should be there to celebrate at the finish line.

I've also listened to the podcast four times chris is correct season three is the best trina family time episode three i'd like to send a shout out to trina for also walking the 52 listens road that is paved with diamonds and concrete it's good to know that my experience of finding the we are your friends season to be the best isn't a unique one i'd like to note that this isn't to denigrate the other seasons. Everyone in the 100m Olympic final is fast, but only one runner can win the box office gold medal. I've listened probably four times in entirety. I've listened to 5-Hour Energy twice. I'm the listener, the devoted listener, the one who knows everything. I'll be with you the entire journey. Maureen Johnson and Just Like That that season one episode three sending a big hello

also to the talented and eloquent author maureen johnson obviously still needing a couple more five-hour energy listens to validate the full four listens but she's putting in the work and that needs to be respected let me say my fifth listen to five-hour energy that was something else listening while actually watching the film it felt like a line had been crossed 25 hours in total what am i doing it felt like a line of across is a very funny personal reflection of what you're doing another quote oh to be a cat guy season 2 episode 12 cats content seems to be inserting itself into episodes of earlier seasons of the podcast before my week with cats even happened i can't say whether or not these references were in the early seasons of my first few listens though but they are through

but they stuck out like a sore thumb this time i can only assume therefore that the seasons are changing on each listen the work is paying off season 2 episode 11 guy i'm a glamour puss tim you are not stop saying that guy i'm a glamorous pussycat tim you're not guy i've got a diamond collar tim no, I'm owned by two wealthy real estate vendors Patricia Warrenson Tim, yes And Les Handers Tim, Les Handers? Dutch presumably? Guy, correct They feed me

I have my own Friesian cow Where I drink milk directly from Tim, how do you spend your time? Guy, I spend my time napping off the milk tim you are a glamour puss guy and i go to fancy swanky cat do's tim i love it guy i go to the cat ball man i don't remember that that's funny that's really funny i don't think i've been that funny since then i think i remember that i remember your glamour pussy era there's more it wasn't it wasn't huge it wasn't like months and months but it was more than just outside that exchange in that episode it was there was a while where you were identifying as a glamour boss Good on me I want it to come back

Season 1 episode 16 Tim, no, they're a fine product Sony just decided to stop marketing them as Vio anymore, so now they're just called Sony Computers Or maybe they just stopped making computers, can't remember Guy, so boring, such a weird thing to know Listen to you ranting about computers

Put your knife away The seasons feel like they're split in two Such a weird thing to know. Listen to you ranting about computers. Put your knife away. The seasons feel like they're split in two. Knife seasons and after knife seasons. The knife seasons feel like they're from a long time ago. The after knife are a lot fresher. The most enjoyable stretch this time was the bundle of the following. My Week with Cats plus commentary,

Do More, Home Alone 3, Killianaire 1 through 35, the Killianair TV apps aren't canon, Deciders Club 37, 38, 50, Guy Watches Sex and the City 2 twice with COVID highlights. It feels like a do-little needs a dirk on, but perhaps that ship has sailed. Either way, these mini-seasons had an inertia to them that seems to be embedded in the new Fast and the Furious season, which is nice, though what do I know? I've only in the new Fast and the Furious season, which is nice. Though what do I know?

I've only listened to the Fast and the Furious episodes once and listening once is almost like not listening at all. Perfect read, by the way. Guy's already said that he really doesn't want to, but a Fast and the Furious Dercom that covers all nine films, 22 hours and 45 minutes, would be pretty special. What a spectacular way to end a season. Season 3, episode 33. Tim, how are the boys?

How are the boys this week? You've been checking in on them. How are they going? Guy, yeah, look, they don't learn their lessons and they don't live in a world which concerns me. And with each passing week, I feel a deeper divide growing in my relationship to them. Thanks for keeping up the great work.

Despite ever busier lives, it is appreciated. Say my name, Chris Malton. P.S. For the Twiowat scholars, the references to being canon or not is simply for the re-listens. Obviously, Emanuel and Overlux and Undercooked, etc. are part of the show. What authority would I have to say they're not? But recommending 52 listens of them just doesn't seem safe.

P.P.S. Podcast in a tree is missing episodes on the Substack feed. PPS, there's only 37 watches to go to get to 100 watches of We Are Your Friends. Fantastic correspondence. What an absolute journey. I can't, and this is saying, this is coming from someone who's watched Sex and the City and Sex and the City 2 52 times apiece. I cannot relate to any franchise or piece of media

the way that you relate to the bullshit we've put out over the last nine and a half years. It is truly an honour. So generous to hear those moments um it's like i don't know i guess it would be like thumbing through a journal that you wrote 20 years ago and yeah coming into something being like oh wow on the knife stuff and i i because i should we should have ended the episode there probably because it was such a high. The email was so great. Zoe bought me some knives for my birthday,

which just happened while we were away in the South Island. And when I went to Queenstown Airport, I kind of forgot and I put them in a bag. And security were like, whose bag is this? And I said, that is my bag. And they said, can you come over here? And I said, sure. Because that happens all the time, can you come over here? And I said, sure. Because that happens all the time because I'm always flying with, like,

microphones and cables and shit. And they think it's a bomb because it looks weird in the X-ray. So, like, here we go with my bloody audio recorder again. They were like, hey, man, how long are the blades on these knives? I was like, oh, fuck. I don't know. I got them yesterday as a birthday present. So they got out a little ruler and they measured the blades.

And it was a kit of four beautiful knives, three knives and one vegetable peeler, actually, to be specific, in a set. And they said, you can keep this one and handed me the vegetable peeler. And I went, oh, man, that was a birthday present from my wife that i got yesterday and he said well and i hope i'm not blowing up anyone's spot he said we're not supposed to do this but you can go to the post shop and the airport and mail them to yourselves to yourself and you can go and do that now if you want and i said sweet i will so then this guy's manager who's like head of security at the queenstown airport escorted me to paper plus waited for me while i fucked around i got a bag and did the payment and drew a label to myself to post it back here and then escorted me back in front of everyone like this massive

queue that had yeah got stopped by a um member of Air New Zealand, I think, who had a bunch of fucking lads from Sydney who had been on the lash and were late for their flight. And she said, can these guys skip the line because they're about to miss their flight back home to Sydney? And he looked at the boys and said, why are you late, guys? And they looked the dustiest I've ever seen human beings looked and i just had such a fucking respect and kinship for this dude he was my father in this moment who just

shepherded me through the situation to make sure i got my birthday present back allowed me to cut the line but also did not skip a beat to give these guys their fucking juice like they probably got on the plane after that but he let them know he fucking let them know they should have been there on time why are you late guys honestly the people who work security at queensland airport i flew out of there recently i had to wait like everyone had to wait like an hour just to get through security the lines are so long that would be a stressful high intensity job he's going to be dealing with a lot of people who are frustrated upset like he designed the infrastructure which means that the lines can't be processed faster I love this person yeah he's an absolute legend a dead set legend so um tip of the hat to chris the adventurer

tip of the hat to um the person who i assume is the manager of of um security at queenstown airport and uh tip of the hat to guy montgomery who's not letting a pesky virus slow him down and tip of the hat to me yeah who's not letting 30 hours in the air stop him from taking his baby boy to the UK. You'd be mad too. And on that,

Your Honour, we rest our case. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time.