The Worst Idea Of All Time - Forty Four - Conversion

Episode Date: May 30, 2017

In this 44th watch of WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, Timbo reckons he's cracked the real story arc of Squirrell; his conversion to Judaism. Guyguy has been looking at online reviews of a certain North Hollywood cafe (which turns out to not be in North Hollywood) which is fraught with credit card theft! Maximum Joseph may not know his drugs too well and one of the boiz decides the movie is great.Trailer: Boners of The Heart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Twitter at LittleEmpirePod. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fine. This is a colleague of ours there. One of them dies, that guy's a squirrel. One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay.

One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. Oh, wee! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time, a trans-Tasman experiment in film consumption, consisting of hosts, myself, Tim Batt,

recorded live from Auckland. Also myself, Guy Montgomery, recording live from Margaret River, West Australia. And what's the alternative, really, apart from recording live? Recording dead? I don't think so. What a redundant thing to say. That's exactly right, Tim. The podcast wouldn't exist if either of us expired, unlike our brother or sister podcast,

Till Death Do Us Blunt, which will surely outlive us all boy do i miss those boys i can't wait to hear from them real soon thanksgiving can't come soon enough but enough of that guy uh how how are you you've just watched the movie as have i i've just gotten to the end of it yeah man watched it for the 44th time and i gotta say as expected it took 44 watches for this movie to really no no it's still not that good Tim nah I was into it I was all about it this week I'll pull the other one it's got bells on mate I am yanking nothing this is a good movie you sound like you're yanking my chain is what it sounds like you're doing. No, not at all.

This movie's got it all. It's got pretty women pumping soundtracks, pretty boys up to mischief. It's got drug use. It's got fun. It's got colors. It's got Los Angeles scapes, city scapes, non-city scapes,pes Valleyscapes All the scapes So interested to hear How long over the course of this conversation You can keep up this enthusiasm

For We Are Your Friends What specifically Tim Really got you this week? It's just the collection of friends Hanging out Having a bloody good time in the sunshine Know what I'm saying? This all just seems

So unlikely to me Even that bit where they're at the ravine Do we call it a rav where they're at the ravine. Do we call it a ravine? Right at the top when they're collecting their pay stubs, which have been shortchanged by the shifty man who lives inside a club. Is that a ravine? That looks more like a plateau to me. Isn't a ravine like you're surrounded on either side by cliffs?

Yeah, like a dried up riverbed, isn't it? Something like that. So it's kind of like they're over the top of a ravine. They're looking down into it. They're just maybe on a hill, on an arid hill overlooking the valley. That's another possibility for sure. But just from way to go,

you're seeing a lot of things. You're at a lot of parties in this movie. I think the light touch to LSD is a strange note by the writer, but you know what? I'm all for artist integrity, and if that's the direction they want to take this, they've done it anyway, so you may as well get on board. Know what I'm saying?

There's my attitude this week, guy. You're going to watch the movie anyway, so you may as well just enjoy it. Just decide. Just make a choice to like it you know oh look i mean it's what you have achieved if this is not a put on and in fact your genuine sentiment towards the film is nothing short of uh of like a mentalist trick like it's it's for you to have the the force of willpower to enjoy a film in spite of 43 previous screenings we've actually no you enjoyed it once before so 42 previous screenings where you couldn't get on board i mean what you have done is a is a it's a triumph in the course of the

podcast neither of us have ever pulled any such achievement off for you you to do a 100... Well, here we are. A 180 degree turn and suddenly be on board with Maximum Joseph's Magnum Opus, I'm happy for you. It's a huge day for the boys. Huge day for the boys. I feel like you're putting so much pressure on it

that I'm actually quite nervous about staking this claim in the ground now, to be quite honest. No, no, no. Not at all, my friend. I'm happy for you, is what I'm trying to say. Oh, that's good. no, no, no, no. Not at all, my friend. I'm happy for you. That's what I'm trying to say.

Oh, that's good. Happy, do you know what my father would say? He'd say, happy as a pig dans le ficoir. Which was his very awful approximation of French. Yeah, to say happy as a pig in shit. How did you find the movie this week, Guy? If you weren't quite at my level of appreciation for it. No, no.

Well, it's a dastardly little time difference between West Australia and Aotearoa. And so what it meant was, as I've discussed before, I'm sure we've both had this experience, it's just not a good reason to get out of bed it's not a good way to wake up um no you got that right so i what i did is i actually i i 15 minutes prior i went out for a small walk through the beautiful township of margaret river hugh jackman's favorite

place in the world by the way if you're curious fuck off let me stop you there how do you how do you know do they celebrate that everywhere is that on every plaque in a cafe you cannot move in this town for people telling you how much hugh jackman loves it here uh there's a there's a you see what hugh jackman was on about have you walked around and been like yeah hugh jackman wolverine territory by all accounts hugh jackman enjoys margaret river for the surf the people the wine, and most importantly, the air. The air? Yeah, he loves the air down here. Seems quite abstract.

Is it just the right amount of oxygen for an adamantium frame? I've got to tell you, I feel like the chemical makeup of the air is pretty similar to other air I've experienced. You're from Christchurch, guy. You were privy in your young childhood to some of the cleanest air around. Well, except for in winter. Then it gets very smoggy because there's no wind and everyone's got those log burners out. Gives a lot of kids asthma.

Myself included. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Tim. It's okay. I got over it as I got older. So no trouble no harm no foul christchurch vehicle to you uh no i mean it's it's good i've certainly been sucking in the big ones i watched the movie i've i've got uh i'm in a i'm staying in a somewhere called the darby park serviced residences and um i opened up i'm on the ground floor so i've got a door that opens up

into a beautiful bit of forest so i was woken by kookaburras at 6 30 this morning as i had hoped i would be that is awesome yeah it really feels like they're taunting you um i know that that's probably annoying at six in the morning but that's genuinely a lovely australian way to wake yourself from your slumber isn't it oh truly and so i've just had the i've i've got the mosquito screen up but i've got the doors open so i've been aerating the room with some of this crisp uh you know world-renowned margaret river air and i can see what hugh jackman's talking about times your question yes does it just feel higher quality or does it smell of eucalyptus or what? It just feels right.

There are friendly people here. Everyone's so relaxed. All of that is to say, it does not make for an improved screening of We Are Your Friends. I'll tell you that, my friend. Can I ask you a very specific question right off the bat? Or just start a little point of conversation with you about the movie? the bat or just start a little a little point of conversation uh with you about the movie now when we've got our young heroes somaly and zikoli the crying dj at the music festival in las vegas nevada uh she puts she asks zikoli to put his tongue out and she puts something on his tongue

now am i right to presume that that's probably LSD, right? That's how you take acid Yeah Yes, however it's But you know, I feel like the experience that they have Subsequent to that where they're all lovey-dovey with each other Is a very like ecstasy kind of a vibe So I'm a bit confused as to whether the director I mean the writer

Maybe didn't quite know their, know substances or or maybe i've been doing the wrong kind of acid i don't know but it just seems at odds i'll tell you this tim i mean this is a music festival in las vegas nevada and these are these are characters certainly zicoli and the boys and somaly to a lesser extent who are familiar with a wide variety of drugs, certainly probably a list longer than you or I could rattle off. And so it's entirely possible that while what appears to us to be a technique you'd more associate with the hallucinogen LSD, they could very well be putting away something a little,

you know, something a little straighter, a little less wobbly. Because I think you're right. I mean, I agree, it does not look like that. I mean, and this is a film that goes to great lengths to show us what a PCP trip looks like. Well, that's right. Because I think maybe they've mixed up

what PCP does as well. I've not experienced PCP before, and. Well, that's right. Because I think maybe they've mixed up what PCP does as well. I've not experienced PCP before, and God willing, I won't. Not a drug that's on my bucket list or anything. But from everything I gather about PCP, that doesn't seem to be how that shit goes down either. You go into a party and just have a real chill time and look at paintings for a bit.

Not what I've been led to believe PCP's all about i'm inclined to agree with you tim i i think that uh i mean we've talked about it before it paints a very glamorous picture of the drug pcp it does glorifies it if anything i'm not into that no uh that's a as the imdb page will attest the the rotoscope scene that they do create for the PCP experience is one of the more critically acclaimed parts of the film, though. Well, everyone loves a nice little bit of fun and silliness, don't they? It's like that bit in... Is it the first Anchorman movie where they ride Unicorns During the Sex scene

With Christina Applegate I think it might be The first one And Will Ferrell Ferrell Ferrell Ferrell

Ferrell Ferrell Ferrell Ferrell Ferrell Ferrelli Can I tell you this Tim Early on in the film

Today I got very excited I saw a new opportunity For a gag The film didn't take, but one that I enjoyed anyway. So you know when Jarhead's working the door outside social, the club, and that guy comes along and he's trying to weasel his way in. He says, I'm friends with your friend Ali, you know, the pretty boy.

Yeah. And then Jarhead says, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, kid, you know, the pretty boy. Yeah. And then Jihad says, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, kid. I'm sorry. Or something. Yeah. And then he goes, well, what about him? Do you know him?

And he holds out what I imagine is a $100 bill. Yeah. And Jihad just quietly takes it and sort of lets him in. Also, you know, before issuing a vague threat. But I thought a great gag that Jarhead could do there sorry not to interrupt but I am here I am interrupting you but don't gloss over the fact that's where we hear the immortal line

don't bro me if you don't know me as he takes the money and that's a good decision and I'm glad to see the film dining out on that week after week but just as an alternative maybe just an option what I would love to see is hey what about this guy do you know him and he holds out a hundred dollar bill and then jarhead says

why yes i do that's benjamin franklin one of the founding fathers of the united states of america and just rattles off for flying his kite in a lightning storm with a key on it just giving us all the power we enjoy today exactly i would wager to bet electronic music couldn't even exist without this man. Do you know him? You are in the world of the joke. So just five to ten minutes of solid Benjamin Franklin facts. Good shit. But alas, an option once again not taken by Maximum Joseph,

nor, what's his name, Johnny Weston is the actor who plays Joe Head. Not this week, Guy, but you've got to just live in hope that next week they're going to take that tasty bait and delve into that lovely little riff that you've set up for them. The possibility that they will is what will drag me back. Yeah. Hard out, bro.

Now, I want to put a theory that I've developed to you. A little bit of a curly one. Is it possible that we watch Squirrel convert to Judaism through the events depicted in the movie? Here's my supporting evidence for this. And by my own admission, it's rather scant. But it's an idea that stuck in my head when he's at

the call center where they first go to work for gold star realty solutions dick full of diamonds mouthful of concrete he has a call sheet and he's working his way down the customers and he picks up the phone and says uh hello i'm looking for a mr stein and then waits half a beat and says, Mr. Steen, like he's been corrected. And I reckon what's happened there is with his Gentile eyes, he's seen the last name as Stein rather than the correct Steen, which suggests to me it's probably a Jewish guy that he's ringing. And then he engages in a very meaningful and life-changing conversation, which we cut away from way too early as a part of that attempted sale of the services of Gold Star Realty Solutions, stick full of diamonds, mouth full of concrete.

So there we have Skrill, plucky young Skrill, who went to university. We found out from a Q&A session with Zac Efron around the production and release and publicity of the film. You've got to do the research. You've got to do the background before you go into a film like this and squirrel has um he's he's been converted

because then we see at the funeral um there's a lot of yarmulkes going down and i even think that the uh uh rabbi i think it's called a rabbi if they're like kind of do you remember very early on you speculated that was uh eric warheim yeah he looks a little bit like him when you first see him for a second you're like hey it's not him though which is disappointing because that would be an amazing cameo for him eh no you gotta be a huge kid for eric warheim i'm sure he's been trying to angle in on the zac efron vehicle for years uh look i mean it never occurred to me that the uh that he um you know what's the word converted converted to judaism throughout the film i'd sort of always taken it as read that maybe he was uh you know, he'd been raised Jewish. See, that's what I thought too.

But then if that was the case, when he saw that name on the call list, don't you think he would immediately go to Steen? He would go to the sort of correct pronunciation of how that name is spelt. I'm looking for a Mr. Steen. Yeah, I can, yeah, I mean. It's loose, guy. I will admit it's loose. It's loose, guy. I will admit it's loose. Anything's possible, Tim.

I thought my read, and this is what's so great about, you know, you discover these new things when you watch the part. I thought that I read that bit of acting, script writing, directing, performance as sort of Maximum Joseph trying to communicate to us, the paying public uh the difficulty and adjustment period of these boys learning the ropes of a new office job so sort of um us going on the journey with them as they as they figure out how exactly to swindle hundreds of thousands of dollars of cash from these poor cash-strapped folks whose homes are in foreclosure.

Yeah, these boys, they just become another cog in the corporate machine, don't they? Those fat cat fucklets who are responsible for the 08 crash, stealing everyone's pensions. Yeah, absolutely. So less religious rebirth

and more a sort of a seam into the seedy underbelly of corporate America. An indoctrination into the church of the almighty dollar, you might say. Although I don't see why it can't be both, you know. Maximum Joseph's magnum opus is famous for being able to translate a lot of ideas through at the same time. A lot of ideas. A lot of same time. A lot of ideas. A lot of layers there. A lot of layers, Guy Montgomery. You've got to peel them back week by week.

You've got to watch it 52 times. This is essential, and you've got to take a year doing it. Don't smash that out in a month. No. Take your time and unpeel this onion of a film, and it will reveal its truths to you over time. For example, when Paigeige harrell the ceo founder and managing director of gold star realty solution stick full of diamonds mouth full of

concrete it says all that computerized digitized on paper bullshit is for pussies like what i still don't get it what's he talking about because if something's digitized and computerized how is it also on paper tim what do you hook a computer up to um the internet a power a printer okay you see yeah okay you see what's happened here is that it that's it that's it guy that's it okay you get it that's enough yeah it's it's barely enough i i've done i've done something i've done something oh now oh guys done something everybody look out what have you done well the name of the the uh the cafe where somaly works in the real world it's a little non uh java you know java juice location called um romancing the bean located in burbank california and i thought to myself i thought i wonder if that's still open for a start. So I've researched Romancing the Bean, Burbank, California.

And I found that not only is it open, but it's also, unsurprisingly, open to being reviewed by members of the public. And so I've dug up just a few punters' opinions on Romancing the Bean in Burbank, California. punters opinions on wonderful romancing the bean in burbank california and whether or not you imagine that it's staffed by genuine baristas and wait staff or somaly the character from where are your friends is still employed there in spite of the fact that she keeps distributing free pie is entirely up to you but i put it to you tim that the first review available on trip advisor would suggest not only is somaly still working there, but she's wound up in a bit of financial strife. Oh, boy.

Let's hear it. Let's dig into it. Review the first from March 14th, 2017 via mobile. Subject heading, credit card hacked. No. I can say with certainty that an employee from this cafe stole my credit card number i had only used it at that place there was no paper receipt and i still had my credit card when i informed my bank of one thousand one hundred dollars worth of charges a few hours

after being there also the charges were made within a five block radius of the cafe. My caution, only use cash. Otherwise. Wait, maybe don't go. What an optimistic reviewer to be like, this place rules. Do you want to hear the optimistic part? Here's the final line of the review. So after warning of having your credit card hacked. Otherwise, I liked coffee and pastry.

having their credit card hacked. Otherwise, I liked coffee and pastry. What a well-rounded reviewer, eh? Yeah. Something bad happened to you, but that doesn't have to colour the entirety of the review. No. It's a mixed bag. Yeah, I got ripped off to the tune of $1,100 US,

but you know what? It wasn't bad coffee. Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater here. Exactly. That Danish was a delight. This review, I think, trumped only by one other review on the TripAdvisor page for Romancing the Bean, Burbank, California. This review was logged on the 2nd of October, 2015. The heading is, it is very inviting and should go in.

It's been given three out of a possible five circles. The review as follows. Have never gone in. Walked by many times, always thinking it looks inviting and I should go in and try the experience. And so the review ends. Do you know we would be more qualified

to review Romancing the Bean than that person at this point? We've seen more of it. I think that is the best review I've ever had. Three stars is crippling though. You know how TripAdvisor works. If it's not a five, it's bad.

Anything less than a five is bad. A three, you may as well just shut up shop. Undoubtedly. But to walk past a cafe, I would say upwards of five times, enough to form an opinion. And then instead of thinking, I'll go in there and check it out, thinking, I'm going to communicate my peripheral experience with this cafe to the people of trip

advisor and log a three-star review based on yeah nothing nothing at all is incredible experience that's i mean that's not really what the app's there for it's not really what the concept of a review is there for is it a review is either your initial experience of something firsthand or your 44th watch of something firsthand but either way you got to do the thing i think that's always been my perception of it anyway yeah anyway suffice it to say romancing the bean uh in spite of these two bits of feedback is actually you know pretty well regarded

it's got a 4 out of 5 on TripAdvisor pretty good Guy Montgomery that's 80% that's a B plus in most establishments over here on Zomato though our friend

Lola Juliet had a pretty bad experience back in 2012 our friend Lola Juliet had a pretty bad experience back in 2012. Wave into Lola. Surprising, not great. Not knowing what to order, I went with something safe. A tuna sandwich on Chibata bread. I was surprised how cold and hard the bread was.

The sandwich was not good. Very disappointing. It goes on. But, I mean, who are these fucking maniacs? It was a good dramatic rate of logless review, by the way, Guy. I like that. I like the decisions you made. It was good.

Source it up a bit. It's just, it's so nice to know that you can visit the cafe, you know, where Ziccoli and Somerle It's so nice to know that you can visit the cafe You know Where Ziccoli and Somerly Begin to rebuild The pieces of What is a relationship I don't think will go the distance I mean look

They're both attractive but let's be honest Tim The chemistry and opportunity for these two to get to know one another Through the film Is middling at best Ken if anyone lives in Who listens to our podcast lives in or around burbank california or you simply have an opportunity in the not too distant future to visit romancing the bean please go in there grab a cup of joe take a photo in there so we know you've been there chuck it on twitter chuck it on instagram chuck on that hashtag pay the boys absolutely i z it's on uh pay the b o i z 3413 west magnolia boulevard

hopefully we're in town at some point in the not too distant guy and we can we can go there ourselves it'd be a real treat that would. Our mate has tracked down where the sushi restaurant is, where the boys are in the valley. That. I'm going to go there. That I would like to do. Now, I would like to say that it took 40. Yeah, you go. I was just going to say, one thing that Americans do

is they like to say, and it happens in this movie with their description of sushi it's everything's the best isn't it everything's the best it's the best one of these you've ever had your life will change if you have this or it's the worst and it'll ruin your life it's impossible

but these are reviews that you found are pretty well rounded wouldn't you say oh yeah I suppose so Tim also before you Launch into describing your 44th screening Of We Are Your Friends I have a run Of

I'm just telling you that I have a run Of sort of 4 or 5 Interviews with regional Australian radio stations kicking off in T-minus six minutes. So we've got an action-packed final six this week. Yeah, if Guy rolls off, that's fine. That's going to happen.

And it's unfortunately probably going to cut the episode a little bit shorter than usual. But you know what? Fucking chuck a short one in there, you know? Give the people what they want. A compacted, powerful little episode. And by all means, Tim, little bit shorter than your usual but you know what fucking chuck a short one in there you know give the people what they want I mean compacted powerful little episode and by all by

all means to him you could you could stay on and whip out a tight 10-15 minute set talk out about talk the rest of the episode out about poos yeah or you could you could genuinely

perform 10 to 15 minutes of stand-up comedy. I don't think I'll be doing that. I'll probably wrap up when you do. Hey, what I do want to say, though, is it has no shit, hand on heart, taken me 44 glorious episodes or watches of this film to understand the words that are coming out of the mouth of James Reed from the feelers

when he talks to Somaly when Zicoli, the crying DJ, first wakes up there after the big party. You know how, um, she says, I can literally smell the whiskey coming out of your skin. Yeah. And he says something to her very quietly. What does he say to him?

Did you, have you ever heard it before? Cause I've always struggled to hear it. I will. Once I hear you say it, I'll know whether or not I noticed it, heard it, or had've always struggled to hear it i will once i hear you say i'll know whether or not i noticed it heard it or had the same problem as you the line is you used to smell like fermented liquor too oh it no shit is the first time i've figured out what the line is it took me this long that is such a huge piece of exposition it's a it's a

massive get it's a massive get that this that the boom operator has failed to bank on because i was fucking it's maximum joseph's job to say can we get that again i need a clean read on where's bentley's line but that's true um I noticed this week that in the club, when Zicole meets Somaly and unsuccessfully tries to pick her up, she's drinking what appears to be either a rosé, a vodka cranberry, or potentially another

club soda with cranberry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think this is her thing, man. She's like a recovering alcoholic, perhaps. That is so huge. And arguably one of the meatiest details or nuances offered to a character in the film. And on account of her being a woman, just entirely ignored.

Why are you gendering this? Why is it because she's a woman? It's just the film is uninterested in the plight of Somaly, the sole representation of the fear of sex. That's true. That's true. We know a staggering detail about these fuckboys, although they do miss out big gaps like their parental situations

although they hint at them yeah that's funny, Richard was my dad's name that's neither funny nor interesting, Zicoli cool, we gonna hear more about that? no? okay, alright, fair enough it's your decision your dad, your choice

shit man, I gotta say, late in the piece that is, I mean it's gonna certainly make for at least you know, aside from hoping that they rip into this hot Ben Franklin gear next week, it's going to provide some sort of grounding or, you know, interesting through line to look for in the film. It's a game changer. True, true, true enough. It's a game changer.

I also just want to say something that I noticed. And actually, you know what? This is going to be my shining light because I just realized we might have 30 seconds to get all of your things. So actually, let's get yours. Do you have a shining light this week, Guy Montgomery? As always, Tim, I do.

Go. My shining light this week, in spite of criticizing the chemistry between Zicoli and Somaly, when they are ordering room service after maybe or maybe not having sexual intercourse the night before. You're conceding a maybe. I like that.

Somaly says, I want a cheeseburger. And immediately afterwards, and very quietly parroting and whispering the line back to her, Ziccoli says, you want a cheeseburger? Whoa, I've never heard that. No, no. I mean, I'm noticing that there's a few whispered lines here. Breadcrumbs, you know, cast aside by the film. Maybe leading us, a trail leading to some alternative take. Oh, I like that.

Exciting. Setting it up for next time. I'll give you my shining light. And that is the fact that when zicoli the crying dj is cleaning the pool it is absolutely fucking filthy i don't know if you've ever seen it before yeah but when he receives that call from james reed from the field is asking if he's got anything on in the weekend so he can dj his party or potentially bury a dead body with him doesn't really doesn't really say in the phone call that we see but um i like that they went to the trouble of actually having a grubby as hell pool because it's like you know when

it's the equivalent of when you walk into a bar and a bartender's just uh polishing a glass that's already clean that's probably a bad example because you always you can't really over polish a glass in a bar but it's just when someone's performing an action on film that they don't need to be doing if they're vacuuming something that's already been vacuumed you know if they're yeah yeah lining a shirt that's perfectly crisp i know they went to the trouble of mucking up that pole or breaking into someone else's property to pick up the scene love that great offer good idea greg the first ad not like that yeah way to save us some money Greg Not everyone Has a clean pool

All the time You know Yeah That's just the way life goes Tim I'm going to keep talking to you What's going to happen is My phone will ring

In the midst of a conversation Yeah yeah But before it does 5 6 7 8 Getting

Sanimantle With James Reid. From the feelers. Here's an interesting piece of trivia for you, Tim. James Reid from the feelers, my high school alumni. No way. Did you know that before?

This is the first time I'm hearing this information. I did not know that before. Shit. I was on tour. I was talking with some of the other comics about respective alumni. And I can't remember. Someone was saying something about their school. And then I thought, I'll see if there's anyone from my school.

Sam Neill? Blow me down with a feather. Are you for real? I am. But then also, more excitingly and arguably relevant to this podcast, James Reid from The Feelers. That is tasty. What a great find.

Huge. How does it make you feel to have shared an academic environment with the great man himself? I've got to say I'm pretty disappointed that I didn't take to the music school in the same way James Reid reed did fatal ground yeah i mean you know some of the songs those boys put out i've played fish and felicia for you before in fact i remember exactly when and where i did it i was lying on a bed in roma italia you were upset with me because you thought we might not have the ability to clear the rights and get into copyright trouble i think we were being sponsored by audible at the time

sounds like me sounds like you uh no i mean i i don't know i've sort of i've come to terms with it now so i'm neither excited nor disappointed and um so look let's delve into that MacBook Pro box, because this week... Can I tell you what's in there? Oh, you go. Yeah. No, you go. It's a school report. Yes.

It's a school report from year 11, when you are a boy of 15, roughly. It's a social studies report from Mr. Spronkin. And Mr. Spronkin says, It's a social studies report from Mr. Spronkin. And Mr. Spronkin says, James Reid shows great potential in class, but is too easily distracted. Needs to apply himself, does our James Reid.

Frequently talking to class members shows a lot of potential and must try harder. What James Reid is trying to do is, this is a lesson shared and learned from Mr. Spronkin to James Reid from the feelers. James Reid is trying to tell Ziccoli he sees potential. He sees the opportunity for great things in Ziccoli. Yeah. However, on account of his easily distracted nature

and, you know, ruffian friends, he doesn't want to see him piss that potential away. Who would? It's a cautionary tale. Hmm. How do you feel about that? All of that from one school report. I'm just wondering if anyone out there received a school report that didn't have the words not living up to their potential uh yeah

maybe i just got it so frequently that i've kind of assumed everyone got it all the time yeah i'll tell you who definitely got a report that didn't say that tim hey nerds yeah fucking nerds what are those i guess if you are If you're getting like 100% If you're getting A pluses or what have you Whatever the equivalent is You probably don't need to apply yourself anymore do you No those reports probably read

Joseph is Joseph Moore Is A great student But we're worried about His social skills on the playground we're also worried about the fact

that he walks out of class at the halfway point every single period and then comes in the next day with a speculative essay on how the class played out and we say Joseph if you stuck around for the rest of the class you'd know

but he was too busy skiving off to the music and we say, Joseph, if you stuck around for the rest of the class, you'd know. But he was too busy skiving off to the music department to go join James Reid from the Feelers to jam out some stuff on a little synthy keyboard. Oh, I like that. Hey, Tim. Original walkout boys. Can I tell you this? Watch 44, Romance and the Bean on Google, the review that it's got via Google or Google Maps, 4.4.

Woo! Pretty good. It syncs up. It syncs up, ladies and gentlemen. That's how the universe works. It's all about synchronicities. It's electricity, which also ties up with benjamin franklin the whole thing is a closed loop isn't it guy oh man time is a closed loop

they're fucking a oh boy hey well while we've got this it feels like stolen time from your interviews running late should we delve into maybe what's happened in that bathroom this week my buddy i would i would love that very much oh i've received a text message oh oh i've missed a call i gotta go oh that's bad i'll delve into that guy it's been a pleasure and i'm sorry that you missed your first interview part of the problem my friend i'll see you soon Catch you in the friend zone Friend Bye So look What's happened In the bathroom Everybody Is

Johnny Depp's Walked in there And he's found Someone who has been Frequenting Romancing the bean Far too often And they're not

Counteracting that With enough fibre In their diet So I'm sorry Like I don't Hopefully need to paint A vivid enough picture for most of

you because you know what's up it is a jolly nightmare in there it is uh i i would describe it as explosive i would describe it as caked and i would describe it as a good spread like a wide spray a big old angle obtuse not acute if you know your angles anyway it's terrible and it's uh it's the result of a lot of hot milk and caffeine upsetting someone's tumbly and uh they possibly need to research whether they're lactose intolerant or not because i mean this is not a bowel movement that is in any way shape or form usual or particularly healthy or good for the individual experiencing it so i'm going to leave you with that it looks like i have fallen into the trap of using this extra time to talk about poos just like guy did uh tries i might to avoid it but

what a wonderful episode it's been full of um curiosities and uh uh as i said before synchronicities things that just coincidences really if you believe in that maybe everything happens for a reason don't know if you go to facebook.com slash t-w-i-o-a-t this no it's not no fuck what is it actually oh my goodness it's actually facebook.com slash worst idea of all time i've put you wrong there's a post in there because we're soliciting for which charity we should be giving all of our june money to we've decided to give all our june money to someone um we get you guys support us on patreon which um again i just cannot express my gratitude enough to the people who who give on their big or small and uh maureen maureen johnson was first just hot out the gate opened up her

wallet and gave us a tremendous amount of money and then uh got in touch with us recently to say boys my work here is is you know done on the such a generous donation and we're like absolutely and she said i'm gonna put the money that i was putting to here towards a good charity and this is america of of trump that we're all experiencing and we thought you know what what a jolly good idea we're going to pick a non-politicized charity and throw our money there as well so this is all thanks to maureen and everyone should follow her by the way on twitter she's she's very good um so look all that to say we're accepting ideas a lot of good ones are in there so far we'd love to hear what you think we're thinking either like american because a lot of our listeners and our contributors are american or a global charity

would be good and one where the money's actually you know going to do something for them going to be helpful so it'd be great probably my favorite one in terms of comedy so far is uh someone's recommended an animal shelter because um you know through our watches we're killing a squirrel each and every week which is fair enough so get on there get on the facebook um and the patreon is patreon.com slash t-w-i-o-a-t Hey, catch you in the friend zone everyone. See you real soon. Bye bye. Thanks for listening to this podcast. Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. I agree. Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point.

Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try Boners of the Heart? Boners of the Heart! Mads is pointing to us each. What are you saying? Are you saying we're assholes? We're fucking assholes, yeah. Oh, okay.

But we're attractive assholes, yeah. I get it. We're lovely little bleached,'re assholes? We're fucking assholes, yeah. Oh, okay. But we're attractive assholes. Yeah, I get it. We're lovely little bleached, attractive assholes. Sitting in this chair and I don't have a bleached asshole. I don't think I'd bleach my asshole either. Do you have a bleached asshole? I don't. I don't. I don't think I've got a very nice asshole, to be honest.

I don't really look at my own asshole a lot. I've never received feedback on it. I don't think receiving feedback on your asshole is the... But also I'm just nervous because there's been so much damage done to that area. I'm like, what if it is weird and I just don't know and I'm walking around with this weird arsehole and no one's got the courage to tell me.