The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 107

Episode Date: November 1, 2020

Tim and Guy have released this episode toooooo late for their country's cannabis referendum but recorded just in time for a neighbour's chainsaw! Timbo's household got a new dog, Tui. After school programmes with limited DVD collections, documentaries on video game designers and Reddit users abound in this glorious zone for friends. Mates. Pals. You lot.SUPPORT US ON OUR PATREON (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. It's the friend zone. We're gonna have a good time. It's the friend zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time. Friend zone. Fucking shill. Hello. Hello. friendzone It's the friend zone. Let's get high. It's the friend zone. Do you actually want to get high? Yeah, that'd be fucking great. Have you got some means? Yeah, I can set that up while you... Shit, that's good.

If you're in New Zealand, vote yes in the cannabis referendum. I can't imagine who we're persuading at this point. Who listens to our podcast? Yeah, but also, if you don't want to, you don't have to. No, of course. I think it would be a good idea if you voted yes. Yeah, absolutely. But stand by your convictions.

Just ran into a guy at the playground. He was on the fence. Was he? Yeah. Who the fuck is on the fence? I guess a lot of people are with that. Yeah, he's an older guy. I've worked with him before.

He's a shooter. He's a cameraman. Oh, he's an older guy. I've worked with him before. He's a shooter. He's a cameraman. Oh, yeah? Camera operator. Yeah. Thank you. I'm always like, if you're in the arts, you're voting yes. I would have thought so.

But anyway, he wasn't sure. He said it was too damaging to teenage brains. Oh, fuck me. That's not what we're voting on. Read the legislation. Jesus Christ And I said, mate, read the legislation. Jesus Christ. I said, how many times need we repeat ourselves? It's a harm minimization model. You're not voting for people to smoke weed.

God damn. I said all the wrong things. Is that what you told him? You said this is a referendum on getting more teens into weed i said if you don't want to get teenagers into weed that's your prerogative but i'm voting yes no matter what you want to know something i i i don't think i had a single like puff of cannabis until i was 20 i'm pretty sure that's true i did 19 or 20 i didn't either and do you know who this is such a this is fucking bizarre

but do you know who is to thank for that we're getting very niche Aotearoa now and we'll pull out soon because most of our listeners are not here the stats prove it

every time I look our countrymen do not like us um fucking bomber Martin Martin Bradbury Bradbury

oh my god when he was on so there's a broadcaster and blogger here. Was it? Channel Z. Phenomenal timing on the chainsaw next door. There's a broadcaster here who is... If we play our cards right, it could go for the whole record.

Yeah. A bit of ambiance. He kind of, like, took a hard turn. Or maybe he was always this way but but i don't know we grew up a bit but he um he now is known as a pretty rabid like you know you don't have to pay too much attention to what he says left-wing blogger and broadcaster but back in the day, he ran a talkback radio show on a Sunday evening for young people. And it was really good. It's a good premise. I remember loving it.

Yeah, I've been advocating for the longest time that we need to have another one of those. I listened to a regular talkback radio show when I was driving a car recently. Yeah? How was that? It's not good. I tell you this so the the um host was she's a woman named heather duplessy allen and she was getting real fired up about um the national rugby team here don't want to go and play an international tournament because it

means they'll be quarantining through christmas and like a lot of them have young families they'll be spending their first you know christmas with their family yeah and they're like look if this is what's going to happen we're not going to go and she was furious she was like they are employees they are employees of the New Zealand rugby and if you're an employee and you're responsible for the bottom line you do your job it's one Christmas and I was sitting in the car, I was singing, Heather, Heather, Heather, please. This is what she wants. Exactly. She finished her rant,

she said, anyway, text in on this, I'm sure you'll have something to say. You fucking got me again, Talkback Radio. I know. They know what they're doing. They know what they're doing.

It was crazy. To finish the thought with Bomber, he was always so big on reminding people all the time that your brain's still developing until you're like 25 and that cannabis is really bad for your brain when you're a teenager in particular. And I took that to heart. I really did.

That's awesome. Do you know, most of the people... That's why we need to talk about drugs sensibly, I think. I'm not really close friends with a lot of them, but all the people who smoked... They were probably the arty people who smoked weed at high school who I wasn't friends with, and then there were the cool guys who smoked weed in high school

who I wasn't against or enemies with any of these groups. They weren't the people with whom I was rolling. But a lot of the people who were smoking a lot of weed in high school, all the massive teenage stoners in my books, they stop in the early 20s because it slowed them right down. And then the people who started in their late teens or early 20s are the ones who sort of form a healthy, in my opinion, a healthier lifelong relationship to it

where they understand the notion of occasional recreational use use there's one guy in particular that i know and he like he got in hard and we lost a good guy yeah he never kind of came back from that which was unfortunate but um was it it must have been hallucinogens as well it's very really can just we do that really i think it was just no weed do that. Really? I think it was just weed. No, definitely weed can do that. I think it's just like if you go hard when you're very young, it can really fuck you up. Might be underestimating the amount people are consuming. I like such a big part of why I've been helping the campaign

for getting it legalised here is because it is like we just need to throw everything at making sure that young people can't get it and having it legal and regulated is is going to make that so much stronger to making sure that young people can't get it it's the most insane recurring conversation which is why i was talking to this guy at the playground about today yeah it's like this is you're not you're not voting for whether or not the drug exists. Yeah. The drug exists. I read a book called Chasing the Scream,

which is about the whole history of the war on drugs around the world. And there's an anecdote about a cop who, I can't remember what country he's in, but I think it's Latin America. And he's like part of the drug squad and he's um staking out like uh oh no maybe it's in america somewhere man i'm gonna fuck this story up i'm so sorry for you do that a little kid comes up to him because he's in camo he's like an undercover cop on a sting operation and the little kid is asking him to buy alcohol for him and the cop like kind of gives him the boots just like get out of here get out here you rap scallion

and then it occurs to him in that moment that that kid can get crack cocaine and marijuana at the drop of a hat like completely without the aid of any adult on the street from a drug dealer but can't get alcohol and it can like that moment stayed with him and now he any adult on the street from a drug dealer but can't get alcohol and that moment stayed with him and now he totally is on the other side of advocating for legalisation you love to hear it some people learn

some don't anyway thanks for indulging sorry not usual friendzone but you know what do we need to get a fourth podcast? No. Where we talk about the shit we're into. The answer is no.

But the friendzone is, of course, it's a place for whatever the hell you want it to be. So we need not apologize. Just acknowledge the conversation, that we enjoyed ourselves, that we are currently in the throes of enjoying ourselves slightly more by the minute, and move on. Got a new dog.

Did you see Tui? I didn't. Oh, dude. Where's Tui? Tui's inside. Tui's a little puppy. Belongs to my flatmate. Gorgeous little dog.

Same breed? Same breed. Yep. Was that a miniature Schnauzer? Schnauzer Jack russell cross they call them snacks because they're delicious you can hear the engine warming up as we start rounding our way to the hefty mailbag that we lug around between us thanks to you our friends and your ongoing correspondence with us i'll just do a quick ad.

Thank you very much to our sponsor for this episode. This was to provide time for you to sort yourself out. So do you want to do that? I'm talking so you can smoke that. I was listening to your ad. I know, but this is to buy you time. This ad is sponsored by you, of course, just like every other friend zone.

You, our friends friends in the zone with us tim and guy forever and ever tim and guy for a thousand years you love to hear it that's me blowing in your ear i didn't like that yeah i regret it um i'm gonna put this ash just there it's just gonna fall off yep Now. Our first mail of the day. This comes from, we got this on Monday, which is the 28th of September. What the fuck?

I know. And it reads as follows. Hello, my fine lads. Timothy Batley Esquire, the most revered, and Guy Montgau... Guy. I'm in the bath listening to a podcast about a softcore porno.

A strange life I lead in this trying pandemic time. Listening back to old friend zones, hearing Guy describe his dad getting mad at him while doing maths homework and doing it for him led to me getting the skin above my lip split open as I was having electrolysis hair removal at the time of listening and I smiled while I had a needle in my face. What?

Who's listening to any sort of podcast when they've got a needle in their face? Just concentrate on sitting still. In other news, legalised a heck out of cocaine from Death Blight caught me so off guard on the bus while briefly lowering my mask to take a drink led to me coughing and spluttering and a small child started to cry she's going to die and i had to later speak to the seven-year-old to promise sheepishly that i'm not going to die

i sincerely wish i could pay you two boys for your service but i cannot sorry you go until all the philosophy master's degree money comes in. I fucking love every part of this. Say my name, you Kiwi fucks. Lexi Kellan from the grey, grey city of Dublin, Ireland. I want to see if I've made sure I've understood Lexi's predicament on the bus. Yes, there's a postscript, so I'll do that afterwards. Thank you.

You do you now. Is the situation that Lexi had a spit take, essentially, on the bus listening to the podcast, and that freaked out a kid, and the kid said, you're going to die? Yeah. So Lexi was drinking some water, and then did a spit take, in essence.

And so the spluttering and coughing, I suppose the seven-year-old rudimentary understanding of the current global health crisis. I thought, oh, it's happening. It's happening right in front of me. I can't bloody move for deaths here in Dublin, Ireland. The electrolysis incident is like, what's that fucking film franchise called? Emmanuel.

No, sorry. Good catch. The one where death keeps coming for them and it won't relent oh final destination it's some final destination shit man getting your lips split open with an electrolysis needle because we all forget about one final destination ps and trying to make sure i describe those two moments where you boys hurt me as succinctly as possible i forgot to say thank you so much for the beautiful hours and hours of laughs and fun that you two have supplanted out into the world

for us all to discover Lexi it was for you also yep you'll be pleased to hear Tim the rip in my skin healed really really well no scarring

fucking sick ass also literally going through the seventh episode of Emmanuel the boner inspector at one point was actually a thing

in order to avoid conscription people would lie about being gay or lesbian as they were excluded from the military. So they would be shown illicit images and would be examined to see if they really did get excited by the porn.

Wow. Boundary Inspector! Boundary Inspector! So truly, there was a real value in you conquering this mastery of your body to the extent that you could self-generate an erection at the right time to get you out of going to war you could avoid an arm i don't know famously jimmy hendrix claimed he was gay to try and skip the draft i don't know

that ireland the irish army were being conscripted to go and pick up arms in vietnam were they i don't know i just can't imagine that i don't think that was the case but um maybe some that felt like america specifically oh do you think that this test was just for irish troops yeah who are potentially going to go and fight in vietnam gotcha yeah that's a real subset eh yeah the crack elite irish squad in vietnam so chosen because they were used to the terrain of vietnam a famously similar place this is so boring but i'll risk it i just want to tell you about the concept of this dream i had last night because it was so real cool man and it was it was sort of as you see this notion of irish familiarity with uh vietnamese topography so in

the dream i was cycling through Hagley Park in Christchurch, New Zealand with a friend, someone who was in the dream with whom I was friends and familiar, but I can't tell you who that person was or what their body represented in the being. But we were biking along and they were giving me a tour. They're from Montreal in Canada, Quebec, Canada. And they were giving me a tour and explaining

all the the history of montreal as we bike through haggley park and i was like this is so crazy man like what are you how do you like this is how does it all sync up like this and in the and he was like oh i don't know it's just how it's working and in the dream what had happened is that because international travel is no longer on the cards there was this marriage between like different cities around the world would pair off and for three months during the summer so for three months during the christchurch summer christchurch became montreal and all the names all the street names got renamed all the buildings like the whole structure of the city changed to be montreal so people could experience travel. Fuck, what a cool dream.

I know, it came up with. It's an almost functioning concept. That is good. And so in the summer in Montreal, everyone was in Christchurch. It was admittedly a less exotic train. I'm really proud of you. That's a great dream. Hey, thank you.

Your brain did a fucking good job. It was really detailed. And I remember in the dream, my mind was just so blown by the fact that this was working. Unbelievable, man. My dreams don't have that kind of coherence, and I very rarely can remember them as well. They're often quite, I don't know, they're just kind of quite nonsensical from memory, which admittedly is limited. But you've got a full idea for something

that could that we could do not always but in this instance yes so a huge thank you to lexi lexi that's right a thank you letter an anecdote friendzone friendly from tyler here we go dear timothy mattress bat and Guy Pikelet King Montgomery. That's me. I've been enjoying the worst idea since about the summer of 2015 and laughed along with you both since then. So first off, I wanted to say thank you for the hundreds of thousands of hours of joy you've both brought me.

Like many, your joy and camaraderie has brought a smile to my face during many years many events happy and sad over the last five years i feel compelled to write after listening to the home alone 3 emergency season as it brought me back to my long repressed personal version of worst idea style torture when i was about 10 years old i attended an after-school program daily and every friday afternoon we would watch a movie as a bit of a treat or it would have been that treat that was in quotes wait hold up or it would have been had that treat sorry been anything but home alone three nine times out of ten turns out this was the only dvd the program had given we were on the tail end of the vhs era did that make sense the only dvd the program

had been it sounds where are we we're an after school care program yes yes gotcha they've got one dvd yeah or vhs in. No, it's a DVD. Turns out this was the only DVD the after-school program had, given we were at the tail end of the VHS era. The worst part about this was, about 10% of the time, the young adults who ran the program would go to the local blockbuster and pick up a different movie.

This meant that every Friday afternoon, the entire group would go into the TV area, hoping that we wouldn't be watching Home Alone 3 again, movie this meant that every friday afternoon the entire group would go into the tv area hopefully that we wouldn't be watching home alone 3 again only to be crushed when that fucking intro started i estimate that in a 36 week school year we probably watched the film 32 or so times i love i like what i'm imagining is that these hilarious uh like caretakers whoever's in charge of the program are renting either the same or different copies of Home Alone 3

and like essentially torturing you by saying, all right, this week. It's a good gag. It's a great bit. Let me tell you, it gets much, much worse when you watch it that many times, even at age 10,

when our young minds are normally more accepting of this type of repeat viewing. Anyway, thanks again for all the fun i hope to catch you boys if you've agreed great greece if you ever greased the eastern seaboard of the u.s again though i am in north carolina where the pandemic is as bad as anywhere so it might be a very long time say my name you cowards tyler should i say ty Tyler's last name? Yeah. It's Webb. Nice. Yeah. Thank you very much, Tyler Webb. And a huge shout out to whoever was in charge of that after school program.

That's so funny, eh? It's really good. Do you want to read an email? I've got another piece of correspondence. This one from... I feel like we're going to run out. We often say that and then we never ever have. Well, keep writing into the Facebook. Keep writing into the Facebook.

Go to worstideaofalltime.com and there's probably an email address on there, but I can't remember where it is. More importantly, keep using Facebook. Keep using Facebook and making political determinations based on whatever the algorithm chooses to feed you. Get your radio and throw it out the window. Get your TV and chuck it in a bathtub

you are not currently in. It's all Facebook from here on in. Get your web blocker and block every single website that isn't Facebook.com. You need to get a hardware solution that blocks all internet traffic with a whitelist that contains

one and only one domain and that is facebook.com that's right and even if you click onto any of that like if you try to click onto the worst idea page it won't let you because that would be facebook.com forward slash worst idea of all time i want you to only be able to look at your main oh that's it okay right just that page yeah even the website just the page. Yeah. Facebook.com. Yeah, yeah. Do you register your account and visit Facebook.com and just look at it. Hello, Tim and Guy.

I've stumbled upon this from Tuesday, by the way. Tuesday, the 29th of September. My birthday. I turned 32. Yeah. So I'm the same. Hello, Tim and Guy. I've stumbled upon what i believe to be a pretty

significant addition to the emmanuel universe while watching a documentary about the first black female video game designer muriel trammis a youtube link attached i noticed a familiar title oh yeah this is good intel actually it turns out that in 1989 there was an emmanuel video game made for msdos ms dos yep and that too the game is an erotic point and click adventure where you play as mark trying to win back emmanuel who has taken on new lovers the game is available to download on dos or dos box but only works on version 0.58 or 0.58 i was able to get it running if you're bored enough to try it there are some pixelated breasts in your future and then oh that's the the preview of the link to the muriel tramis uh documentary on youtube we should twitch stream this we should play 100 should a play along

a let's play whatever they're called let's play Play Emmanuel, the MS-DOS version. That's a great idea. As a sub-podcast, we could play Emmanuel every week. The game. Yeah. You can't make progress, can you? You'd just be doing the same thing over and over again. It'd be worse than watching the same movie over and over again. Yeah, and the game looks shitty.

Yeah. But that's great. And Alex finished by saying, Love the pod. Thanks to you both for all you do. You've helped me through quite a lot. Feel free to say my name. Alex, Alex, you fucking know I already did.

So thank you so much for that. I think definitely, I peripherally remembered that, so it's great to get a refreshing reminder and the knowledge we can play. That is something that is in our future. Pixelated breasts, Tim, you seen them before?

Yeah, I have. I can't remember if I've mentioned this on the pod, but yeah, I used to play this Tetris game. Yeah, yeah, and it would reveal. If you cleared all of the bricks, then a very slow rendering nude image would load. Because the thing is with the Emmanuel MS-DOS game is who's the audience for it?

Because video games, especially back then were like even more targeted solely to kids you know it wasn't it wasn't until a bit later that people like oh i guess adults like video games as well well you know it seemed like all games were targeted to kids but a soft core porn i'm baffled what were they thinking guy what were they thinking they were thinking man i love those emmanuel movies wouldn't it be cool if you could experience that as a game kendall said to us dear tim and dear guy i started listening to your show in 2016 as you were embarking on sorry that's a coffee a coffee burp embarking on we are your friends i clearly haven't been able to binge seasons as quickly as some other listeners

considering i'm only finally reaching the end of season three after starting from the beginning i truly enjoy your podcast so the notification badge that tells me I have hundreds of unplayed episodes. God, that sounds daunting to me. Yeah, it's too many. Has never felt daunting in the way that it can for other shows with large back catalogs. I recently saw a clip of Guy's stand-up where he jokes about the return of Precedented Times in Aotearoa. But considering I'm in the United States, States Seattle I am stuck in the realm without precedent I'm saying it wrong aren't I precedent you're crushing it I have found a silver lining of this unending lockdown and the extra time to catch up to your podcast so maybe I will be caught

up soon I'm writing because you often say that season three would be your last with around 200 unplayed episodes i know this isn't true it is quite a surreal experience to hear how excited you are to be done with the project i know that i will soon learn why and in what format you have continued releasing episodes i hope it was for a positive reason as I am sometimes saddened by the way you speak about how many other things you could have done in the time spent watching the movies you hate then I feel guilty for participating in this descent into madness in some small way of course this is ridiculous as we are separated by vast distances in space and time many fans write in about enjoying your descent but my favorite part of the worst idea of all time

is hearing your friendship grow stronger each week. In my opinion, TWIOAT stands as the best documentation of friendship in podcasting and is among the great works on the subject of any medium I have encountered. I don't know if you'll read this on an episode of the friend zone if you even still read out emails or when i'll hear it what i know is that i would like to say thank you for the many hours of hilarious conversations i've been fortunate enough to hear from your friend

kendall crane a really good name. Yeah, you sound like a partner at a law firm. Kendall, thank you for that. I'd also like to congratulate you, Tim, on what I thought was a rousing read. There's a real sense of momentum. And by that last paragraph, I felt like you were in the pocket. Would you agree? Yeah, I made a decision after about the first paragraph to really get into that letter.

Yeah, I made a decision after about the first paragraph to really get into that letter. Yeah, I was immersive. I was transported to the mind of Kendall Crane, attorney at law. It's fun, isn't it? Kendall, you'll be listening to this sometime after we've recorded it, presumably. So I hope that everything has worked out for you and the world. I suppose if you're listening, it has. Is that right? What's that?

I was looking at something else. I was just saying, I hope that by the time Ken will listen to this, I hope that everything's straightened itself out. That's what I was saying. Hard out, man. Hard out. Yep, I'm sure everything will be just tickety-boo. Just all good. Hey, I'd love to read an email. Yep, I'm sure everything will be just tickety-boo. Just all good. Hey, I'd love to read an email.

Oh, I'd love you to as well. Well, can you forward me one of them motherfuckers, please? Do you want to read it off of that? Is that okay? This is acceptable. Okay. I'm a plumber and have no friends. Reporting for duty.

I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I appreciate what you guys do. My real name is Dale Kimble, and emergency plumbing is a good portion of my job. Emergency plumbing is exactly what you picture in your head when you string those two words together. I've been doing this about 10 years now. Before that, I worked for an accounting firm that ended up being run by the mob to launder money. I turned state's evidence and was moved by the witness relocation service given a new name and a plumbing job just kidding i was hoping one of you guys said my name and thought you got me murdered in a bloody manner by a mafia hitman anyways just found your podcast recently and

wanted to say thanks putting out some silly nonsense that makes my day days better dale that was really great dale that was really good i i uh i like this character okay so an account the thing is though and i loathe i i am loathe to um poke holes in this cool story that we got sent but if you were the mob you wouldn't be taking over an accountancy would you because surely they've got records you want to get something that's a bit loose and janky yeah like a laundromat yeah you think it seems insane to run money through it's ambitious yeah it is it is bold yeah you want to go but then again no one would ever check an accounting an accountant accounting firm i don't think anyone involved in finance has ever been audited literally that might be true uh i really like that i i'm obsessed with or not obsessed with but um

interested by yeah i was really excited that someone who'm obsessed with or not obsessed with but i'm interested by yeah i was really excited that someone who is genuinely in witness protection had reached out to us i have a lot of questions about witness protection yeah and in fact to anyone listening along who is in witness protection ah and again we run into the same problem yeah see this is always the confounding factor isn't it i think you probably can't get in touch with us because i think the point is you don't give any details about your prior life or maybe too many about your current but you could like reach out and say i'm a listener and i'm in the witness protection if you were to do that i would recommend making the subject of your email do not read my name yeah or just make make up a

name maybe make up a third name a. A whole false person for your... A third, yeah. So you had your original situation, which had to be changed, and then you've got your kind of government-issued persona. I want you to grab a worst idea identity, or a T-W-I-O-A-T-I. When I was living in America, I recorded a few demos of the Witness Protection podcast. Did you?

A podcast finally putting the spotlight on people in Witness Protection, giving them a voice. I haven't heard this. Yeah, I've got the files on my laptop here. I do one with Glenn Moore. How is it? It's funny. You stand by it? Yeah, I do one with Tom Sainsbury in New Zealand.

I do one with Tim Boltz and Lily Sullivan. You know them? Yeah, man. They're very famous and funny. And I've had lunch with them.ts and Lily Sullivan. You know them? Yeah, man. They're very famous and funny. Are they famous? And I've had lunch with them. Yeah. Several times.

Yeah. At least twice. Anyway. I do one with a guy called Kyle Ayers. We did this podcast. Never seen it. It was a movie podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a really nice guy. Yeah, man. Anyway. That was a fun format. I'm obsessed with witness protection. So if you're in it, reach out. Tell me me how you got there tell me who you're hiding from no no no no again guy this is literally the one thing they cannot do riley writes this is my first time writing fan mail but it seems appropriate that it would be to timothy dalton and guy with the golden gun two james

bond references there twioet is the first podcast i ever listened to after reading the premise on reddit and finding it absolutely hilarious i binged through the first season and caught up to the second and stayed current since i also have to thank you boys for introducing me to the mackleroy's seriously must be the one person that that is the direction that it's gone in i've listened to so much of their content i'm back in the letter but i felt like that was a very convincing read yeah so i i don't want to clarify i would believe that is you that's it's from riley it's always nice to see big successes like you boost up some up and comers listening to their positive portrayal

of trans people in adventure zone and sore bones even helped give me the courage to come out and start transitioning almost a year on e and i've never felt better about myself uh thank you both for being fantastic positive people and associating with other fantastic positive people i would never guess that such a silly masochistic project like yours could have such a wonderful effect on my life. If this gets read on the friend zone, say my name, Riley. She, her pronouns. Stop reading here on the friend zone. There's more stuff, but I'm going to take the instruction

because I think that's important. It might be about witness protection details. I don't know. Well, if it is, don't worry, everyone. I will relay the juicy bits at a later date thank you so much riley um always happy to hear that we're involved in any sort of positive outcome in someone's life and congratulations on beginning your transition yeah very cool very exciting i like this subject line on this next email and i'm going to get you

to read it it's all in caps urgent not spam for the bat next email, and I'm going to get you to read it. It's all in caps. Urgent, not spam, for the Batman and Guy. And I'm going to suggest even before I read this that we put a pin in it after this one. Far out. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Why not? Right on.

This reads as follows. Hello, Timbly Wimbly and Guy. How do you feel about Timbly Wimbly? You still get it a lot. I'm into it, man. As long as you're not saying it, I'm fine with it. Old spindle, spindly bindly. I'm okay with you saying it.

I take that back. As much spindle as a bindle. That doesn't really work. Is spindle a word? Spindle is a word? Bindle, do you know what a bindle is? No, I don't know what a, I only know what a spindle is. I'm fairly certain a bindle is what those traditional sort of...

It's like what old-style sort of Jack Kerouac era bums would travel with, where they'd have a stick. Oh, is it a bindle? Yeah, and then they'd have some sort of fabric that would be tied up on the end of the stick. All your possessions and a bit of cloth that would go around. That image has gone away. And I feel like it was very pervasive when we were growing up. What happened to it?

People got backpacks, I suppose. Yeah. Backpacks are quite in now. But it used to be on a stick. That's right. Why do people do it like that? I guess because everyone can get some fabric in a stick. There's no barrier to entry. Veryizing isn't it absolutely look at this guy here's a photo of some faux bindle carrying motherfucker his hair slicked back oh okay it's a hipster

doing the it's a youtube doing the lifestyle from the youtube channel wolfpack survival i follow a subreddit and i can't remember what it's called, but it's like, it's that. It's predominantly hipsters living as homeless people, and it makes me sad and fascinated. It's so awful. They just ride around on trains, but they've clearly got incredibly good cameras,

and I'm like, what are you fuckers up to? First and foremost, this message is not quite as urgent as it may seem also apologies guy for not having any cool nicknames for you i write for a number of reasons one thank you for your podcasts and everything you do you're both amazing and i've gotten so much enjoyment out of everything you do or at least the things i'm privy to oh that, that's secretive. Correctly insinuating that we do terrible misdeeds by the hour in our downtime. Two, it is great that you guys are back as per point number one. I'm very pleased for this and thank you both. I do need to donate to the Patreon to show my support.

I'll make sure I do this. Oh, this is like a to-do list. This is like the urgency is for Michael. Three, what the fuck? i've written f i don't know i got impassioned what the f is going on with guy i'm on spelling bee i'm on the edge of my freaking seat here i search guys youtube every day as i am presumably many other listeners expecting too much from people who are giving away free content to the world out of the goodness of their hearts feel like i have been promised an ongoing spelling bee that will eventually result in a clear winner now i've been okay with the

delays i understand great shows take time and there must be a lot that goes into the judging of such a strict intelligent game show but when i hear guy plugging this series using past tense i become a little concerned i'm sorry i shouldn't have yelled your podcast is great i love the comedy you guys come out with i tell everyone about the podcast but as yet i've not gotten you any great listeners i recently split with my partner and it's things like this that keep me sane keep up the great work if you read this on the podcast please don't say my name did you do that at the start i don't think you did i said i said the first name oh and i i which actually was introduced here so we're safe we're good we're good okay well i'm sorry to hear that you and your partner have split and guy do you want to address the stuff

about guy montgomery's spelling i'd like to say that often a split splits of course are very unpleasant in the moment but often they're in service of a greater life for both parties independently you know if you got if it's if it's not on anymore that sucks but it frees you both up to live your life to its fullest and as for the spelling bee uh i should you know what as soon as we got out of lockdown it sort of became more difficult to keep a strict digital diary and so it was just that i uh i stood back from the spelling bee at the height of post-George Floyd. I didn't want to take up any space on the internet for a minute.

And then we got out of lockdown, and it sort of was just one of those things that I forgot to pick back up. I intend to. It takes a bit of work as well. It does. It does. And ambitiously, I'm putting on five Spelling Bees in a week in Auckland. If you're lucky enough to be in Auckland, New Zealand.

We should tape them. At the Basement Theatre. Why don't we tape them? I'll bring a camera. October 20 to 24th. If you go to my Instagram or Twitter, you can find the ticket link. And yeah, they could be taped. I've got this.

Are people going to be on, are they going to be mic'd? Do you know? No, it's in a very small room. I'm not planning on liking them maybe i can like them up well this is this is a conversation for another time no no no i think it's for right now i'm on one of them who are my competitors you're competing tim i'll tell you now you're competing on thursday october 22 i actually can't make that you You'll be there. Natalie Sami, Eli Mathewson, Brinley Stent, Tim Batt. I will fucking crush this.

You reckon? Yeah. I hope so. Not with superior spelling, but I'm going to try and win the hearts and minds of that audience. Because a win for me... Is a win for all. Yeah.

That's right. Well, no, more I'm going to define it as being a crowd favourite. Oh, I see. Well, you specifically went against the grain last time you were on, and you decided to become, like, the villain. You were the heel of the entire show. True. And I didn't do anything that was against the rules,

because there were no rules. We don't need to re relitigate this now well you kind of just started you don't just get to say something that is demonstrably untrue and then gloss over it was it wasn't demonstrably untrue it wasn't against the rules against the spirit of the competition i'll give you that so at the start do i need to say no cheating you just need to say no cheating but if you're calling it cheating you know it's against the rules that's the definition of cheating oh you got me there actually right up in a corner anyway the spelling bee will return again i can't give you a timeline

i'm so sorry i cheated in a pretty cool way though you gotta give me that no no one would have caught me if i hadn't owned up to it that was the coolest bit that i told everyone how i won yeah but i think conspiracy like i think theories would have abounded i think people watching it and then re-watching it later would have been like that's weird it's not this footage bro i don't think people are going to analyze challenging frame by frame they will maybe they just assumed i knew how to spell Because you'd been doing a bad job until then. Anyway, thank you for the email. Thank you for the emails.

Thank you for the mail. Thank you for the sun. Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for the music. Travel down a road and back again. The songs I'm singing Your heart is true You're a friend and a confidant

Thanks for all the joy they're bringing I hate this. Thank you for the music I ask in all honesty Alright end What would life be Friend end zone That was actually

That podcast was a great Advertisement to vote no In the cannabis referendum I'm cutting this last bit out the slots for that.