The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 114

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

Please do NOT ask the boiz how long they've spent watching bad films and recording their discussions about them because it's a bit of a bummer. We got a bunch of book recommendations from Monty and Tim would like to know your dreams! We hear from some friends who might be alergic to running, friends who have little knives and some friends who have named their pet lizard after Guy and Tim.LIVESTREAM EVENT: (worstideaofalltime.com/stream)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, it's the Friend Zone with Tim and Guy. It's the Friend Zone. We're gonna have a good time. It's the Friend Zone with Tim and Guy. Because making friends is the best idea of all time. Friend Zone. It is time for friendship. Is that okay with you, Tim?

Yeah, man. Anytime, anywhere. Friendship. Can you make time for friendship. Is that okay with you, Tim? Yeah, man. Any time, anywhere. Friendship. Can you make time for a friend? Yeah, always and forever. I'm just thinking, isn't it to make time? It's not like you're creating more of it. It's just you're apportioning what you have of it.

Well, folks, we've been in lockdown for 36 hours and Guy Montgomery has already become an insular philosophical wonder that's right pondering his own existence all i do is think he's just thinking he's just sitting there facing a wall thinking about things i have been thinking about things what have what do you think? Well, mostly what I would have said. It's about time, the nature of time. To make time. It's always been a particular bugbear of mine,

people who talk about killing time, just got to kill some time. Because I'm like, man, we're not here for very long. I know. Time's precious. But you've killed time before, I'll bet. Yeah, I guess it's all just a matter of what you mean when you say that. It's a framing device, isn't it?

It's like killing time is also relaxing. Although the idea of killing time is to dispel it, to get a certain bit of time out of the way so you can get to the thing you're trying to do. Whereas relaxation can be a destination in and of itself. Oh, here it is. Here's the good stuff. Like relaxing is a noble pursuit.

But killing time is in service of you doing a thing you actually want to do. Unless some people's hobby might be killing time, which makes for a very confusing life because while you're killing time, you're actually fulfilling your desires with that same time. Anyway, I can't imagine the thoughts that people have arrived at who have not been locked down for only 36 hours recently. Probably, I should go to work. How far down the line this train of thought is for our friends in the UK or America? Can I front load with this?

We've got a live stream coming up very incredibly so soon it might be tomorrow i don't know when this episode's coming out hopefully i'm releasing this before the live stream has happened if you go to worst idea of all time dot com slash stream you'll be able to see the deets um but needless to say it's going to be a lot of fun why because guy and i have written a pilot episode for the new season of sex in the city featuring no kim cattrall because she's smart unlike these other ladies yeah can you even imagine what this this new sex in the city is going to be like what could it be i the version that we have or the version that will exist the version that will exist uh the version we're coming up with is uh pretty cool i think i think it'll just be i don't know i mean there's no reason for it to exist

like you know the most surefire way to make money in terms of creating media products right now seems to be revisiting well-trodden paths so it'll just be carrie bradshaw i wonder if they'll make her more sufferable like they'll just lean into it they'll be like yeah we now accept the fact that she's a narcissist no no no that would be more insufferable like if they'll dial it down if they'll be like do you know what people's appetite for this sort of person is lessening and so we'll do that or if instead they're like we're gonna we're gonna turn her into the monster she's been this whole time oh so what if she gets more insightful maybe i don't think they're i don't i don't think they can i think that's the whole problem with the show is that it's not within them to transform that character into a self-reflective empathetic person and sometimes you just got to go the other way with it i think it's like well she's already

a baddie so let's just make her a real interesting very bad baddie i have a suspicion they're going to introduce like a younger generation it'll be it'll be them as kind of these matronly figures that are ushering in well there's already there was a spin-off the carrie bradshaw diaries which was like yeah carrying her youth yeah so they've done a version of that anyway that's by the by do you know what writing is better than that correspondence from those we love our friends i guess Oh, yeah, I guess so. Jeez, all right. Pulled a ripcord on that one.

Yeah, I did. Greg writes, and I'm actually going to read some messages from the Patreon, who are the reason I exist at all, and so often I forget to get to their messages. So this one's for the Patreons. If you are in a position to support us on Patreon, you can at patreon.com slash T-W-I-O-A-T. And how do you say that word all at once, Guy?

Twiwet. Yeah, buddy. Greg said, Hey fellas, it absolutely boggles my mind that someone who self-identifies as an avid reader would also choose to just brutalize his brain every week with this endeavor but i suppose guy montgomery contains multitudes monty can you hit us loyal listeners with some all-time favorite books while i'm here i also

was wondering if you guys have ever calculated the total number of minutes you've each committed to this project can someone listening please give an estimate of how many hours, days, and holy shit, weeks the boys have spent watching terrible movies and recording episodes since this all began? I'd love to do it myself, but unfortunately, I'm not going to. I think we might shudder at the cumulative number, but I fear it's the only way to fully appreciate

what you two have done for us. Thank you for all your service. And sure, go ahead and say my name. It's Greg. Hey, Greg. Do you know Greg is the name I always use if I'm doing the embarrassing comedy form of improv? If I ever have to label a man in a scene?

Greg. Their name is Greg. Can you guess what I name a woman? No. Regina. Margaret. greg their name is greg can you guess what i name a woman no vagina margaret oh okay and even though there are a myriad of names in the world those are the only two i can think of on the spot without fail it's enough that's improv at that point but go on what are your are your favorite books, Monty? Of all time? I mean, it's a challenging question. A book that I revisit almost annually, which I've probably spoken about,

and it's actually probably quite a boring recommendation, is What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami, which is as much a book about his creative process and the discipline of writing as it is about running. I recently read and was overwhelmed with admiration and inspiration by Another Country by James Baldwin, which I believe was published in 1964. James Baldwin was a prominent essayist and novelist

and sort of... He had one of the coolest voices there's ever been. Yeah, he was... There's a lot of debates featuring him and he's just the coolest fucking sounding dude. He's a cool dude. Similarly, I remember loving, although I haven't read it for a long time,

Aldous Huxley's Point Counterpointpoint and then most recently last year there were a couple of books i read in a go which was sort of modern which was one of them was bad blood secrets and lies and a silicon valley startup which is this very very good uh retelling of elizabeth hol Holmes and Theranos. And that was really good. She was a good character. A bad person, but a fine character. I don't know. I feel like I've lost steam. Those are some wrecks.

And do you want to take a guess as to how long we've spent consuming bad media and making podcasts about it? He's thinking, folks. You can't see what I can see. I don't think you can distill it to the number of hours spent. I think it's like seven years. Yeah.

I think the answer is seven years even though time within those seven years has been spent away from it to my eyes the memory I have of it it's seven years worth of my life alright Monty a message from you from Twitter

at Twioatpod dear Timebomb and Machine Stitch Montgomery I want to quickly update you both and all the friends on some personal developments since I last wrote. A quick recap. I first wrote during the first lockdown about my father and his wife's two-person plus... Oh, his wives. Okay, wives. Anyway. My father and his wife's daily film club on Waiheke Island

and their very specific cataloging routine. After that letter was aired, I felt a little insecure about the way I'd exposed the habits of my family to a global audience, so I chose not to tell them. It was only after a few months I re-listened to that friend's note and figured, hey, it's out there and I should fess up. So I told them, and much to my relief,

my father fucking loved it ah awesome his wife however was a little was a little less impressed but still liked it since then my wife has listened to the entire twiwet catalog multiple times we've also introduced it to some friends here in vienna with one friend finding it significantly helpful during a difficult period last year she too has shared the podcast with her family and friends in the uk i'm fully aware that you frosty fellas love short messages and i'm truly sorry but i kind of need to share an abridged story about the first knife i was gifted as a teen and a very classy tribute to the third co-host knifey and that intersects with the latest twirewatt season it was 2002 and 12 years old at

the time my mother started hosting english language students from abroad in our house in sydney this was a way to supplement her income as well as exposing me to different cultures while making friends from around the world one of the most memorable of these students was a very very blonde german german a very very blonde haired german, 19 years old or so, named Christian. He stayed with us for around two months, but the first night he stayed at our place coincided with me receiving an Emmanuel film, definitely a 90s iteration on VHS. The tape was lent to me by a school friend who had mysteriously found it. It was a Sunday night and I was keen to keen to explore alone in the privacy of my bedroom the

horny world of emmanuel before a school new week i think it's important to note here we'd recently updated our tv to an impressive 40 inch flat screen featuring a built-in dvd player i know which i saved up for by selling my old cds and washing cars on my street this meant my bedroom could inherit the old tv a 20 inch soninch Sony box, and VHS player, hence the urgency in borrowing my friend's copy of Emmanuel. I'll save you on explicit details, except I was quite proud to be wearing nothing but a pair of polyester faux satin boxer shorts,

patterned in love hearts, and my feet adorned some chicken-shaped slippers. As so was the leisure... Did I stop you there? Do you remember the age of those boxes? Vividly. They were some of the most uncomfortable underpants on planet Earth.

They are absolutely antithetical to what should be used as boxing material because they have no wicking property. On the contrary, you're kind of trapping all the disgusting sweat and bacteria in some kind of greenhouse in your pants. Allow me to continue. I specifically recall impatiently fast-forwarding the tape,

missing the plot entirely, to a point where some bare breaths were finally visible. Just as I was getting started on that dastardly deed, I hear a sudden knock at my bedroom door. Uh-oh! Despite despite shouting my breaking voice don't come in this command was interpreted as simply come in so before i could turn off the tv and cover my now tented boxer shorts in wogs christian without really seeming to notice my chicken feet or fancy decks or even the special evening entertainment he says in a very dry and serious tone alex i have a present for you handing me a mini swiss army knife he continues all the

kids in germany have one he didn't say anything else and casually leaves the room closing the door behind him christian and i never did discuss this except during the short months he stayed with us many times he attempted to impart onto me his unique philosophies on sex, woman, and happy, hardcore techno music. Oh, boy. As for that knife, it remained on my keychain at all times until one sad day it, too, was confiscated by airport security as I was about to fly to Auckland to visit my dad.

To conclude, for now, your party's also been a lifeline for me. This has helped bring on some important evolutions in my artistic practice, particularly gave me permission to put forward my vulnerabilities or weird interests and making them my own. I genuinely think this has improved my work, even making things a little more economically comfortable through my work during 2020. Who the fuck would have thought? So while I'm a little more flushed than usual, I'm going to pay the boys to return the favor. See screenshot attached.

Yes, brother. And finally, congrats on bringing your own brand of soft pleasure to many an appreciative ear across the globe. I hope my wife and I can get out of Vienna soon and fly down to Altairoa. We dream of one day seeing you both on stage. Keep the classy content flowing. Feel free to say my name, Alexander JW.

With a most generous donation of 40. Huck. God damn. You're earning that good, good money. Thank you so much. That was a really cool story, and I feel like Alex is a kindred spirit. I didn't ever live with a friendly German gift giver but I've always

enjoyed a good Swiss Army knife particularly the miniature versions and happy hardcore techno music it's a bit of me I don't listen to a lot of it anymore but I really used to get into techno when I was a teenager it was a good time

I'm imagining in my head do you know the techno viking guy do you know the Techno Viking guy? Do you know that internet figure? The Techno Viking guy. It was a meme like 10 years ago. It's this shirtless Nordic dude who looks like Odin himself. And he's just walking down the street with a group of people. And one of them's got a boom box and

they're just playing techno and he's just like fucking cutting shapes oh no it's really good i do not know of this gentleman yeah you should look up the techno viking it's good shit that's in my head who has come and given alex that um that small knife christian yeah great christian shit wait was alex any part of his name? Christian's a German guy. Alex is the author. Okay, gotcha, sweet. Gorgeous. Message from me?

Well, via me. Iona said, Pretty sure Twioat has impacted the top movies on Neon because I can't think of any other reason this would happen. So for everyone not new zealand neon is a streaming platform here in new zealand that carries a lot of hbo products we've got an attached um screenshot which has got neon's best movies and it says uh we've got a poster for doolittle and cats they're not bad films well one of them is actually fantastic

still a cat's guy doolittle can get out of there also featuring um the other two that are in here are palm beach which is a movie i'm wholly unfamiliar with and terminator dark fate which i Dark Fate, which I haven't seen. Or Palm Springs. Palm Beach. Never seen it. Never seen it. Couldn't tell you. Never seen it. Never seen it. There's actually another great podcast by Kyle Ayers,

friend of the podcast Kyle Ayers, where he gets different comedians to come on and describe films they've never seen. Shall I read one, Tim? Guy, I would love that. I would really love that. It's actually another fucking hearty piece of correspondence right here in the TwirewetPod Twitter inbox.

Sick. Sick as. We've got a lot of platforms to reach us now, folks. Yeah. We've got a lot of places. No excuse not to. Hello once again, my handsome friends and justice league members the batman and the flesh today i come to you with a very different message from last time

as you see i've just woken up from a dream with the legend himself guy motherfucking gomery no tim on this one i'm afraid that's okay and felt it would be appropriate to share in a friendly environment or zone, if you will. All right. So, the dream starts with me, Guy, and my dog going for a walk as he, Guy, not my dog, somehow managed to travel despite the pandemic and had come to visit me. I was happy with Guy's visit. However, I was quite concerned with him breaking a global lockdown. Plus, he wasn't wearing a mask. Sounds like you.

As we're going on our walk, a man starts glaring at Guy for not wearing the recommended face wear, much like I usually do myself when I see someone without a mask. I just look forward and hope that Guy wouldn't engage, but of course he did. And when he starts talking with his magnificent Kiwi accent, the man realizes that not only is Guy not wearing a mask, he's also traveled across borders. As the man is now yelling at Guy, a mob of angry Portuguese surround us,

wanting to deport the Geister. That's a funny nickname for Guy. It kind of sounds like oyster. So we start running as the angry mob is chasing us. We end up in Restelo, which is where a bunch of the embassies are here in Lisbon. Guy and I were running like ninjas in Naruto and using traps like caltrops to try and get away but unfortunately it was enough and we get cut off and surrounded once again and then as we get caught I wake up and that was my dream

keep being good sexy boys and talk to you later P.S. Also don't say my name Unless you want me to be happy I do, I do, can you say it please? Hugo What do you make of that dream guy? The star of the dream Weird, weird like Weird hybrid of

Dream world and reality like you know interesting it's interesting to for me to be in the dream and the dream to be set in portugal and the dream to pretty much just follow the logistics of my being in portugal and the fallout from that um sort of honestly you know it is kind of flattering to be in someone else's dream of course you're the man of hugo's dream and it's the only it's the only thing that can make another person's dream interesting to me you featuring in it absolutely would you agree no this is um a disagreement that we've had for the longest time you you step you've staked out a position for yourself that um hearing about other people's dreams is the most intensely boring subject matter that could come up in

conversation not am i am i representing you right or you're in the ballpark and yet uh i i don't agree with that i think it says a lot about a person i think you can learn a lot about a person and also dreams are like very interesting because they're not shackled by the physical limitations of um you know earth physics all kinds of crazy things interesting to probable things impossible to the person dreaming it there are very few people who can accurately capture the surrealism and magic of their dream and distill it and repeat it and deliver it to someone else unless you're like in bed next to them and such a high bar i just think it's a cool thing to hear about people

flying around You know Or whatever I've been having a lot of dreams lately Do you know what you've been dreaming about? Not now But when I wake up in between the dreams I do And I think If you start journaling your dreams

That's I think the first big step If you're very fastidious about doing it To lucid dreaming You can gain some control over them that's fun that's a fun idea yeah that'd be pretty cool wouldn't it i like i like um i like the state of mind you're in when you're sort of it's mostly if you're having a lie down during the day and you you sort of notice yourself drifting off to sleep because your mind goes from having these quite cohesive, ordinary thoughts that relate to your life or your day or what you need to do. And then it's like those thoughts sort of start getting stretched out further and further until all of a sudden they're quite surreal or they're slightly divorced from what's happening.

And sometimes something will happen which will jolt you back to reality. know surreal or there's a slightly divorce from what's happening and sometimes you're like something will happen which will jolt you back to reality and that's when you'll be like oh whoa i must have either been sleeping or about to sleep because i was what i was thinking about or where i was just placed is totally different from i like that experience for myself but i doubt that the particulars of it are interesting to anyone i've got the fucking decency to keep it to myself this is a message from sarah dear boys you can't imagine how glad i was to see you tweeting today i had a dream whoa i had a dream last night that tim had led 10 tourists on a walk across some shaky pile of rocks somewhere a la cathedral cove and

it had collapsed and killed them all. In the next dream stage, all the socials confirmed Tim's death, and Chloe was on TV mourning the loss of a national treasure, but no mention of the dead tourists, weirdly. Guy was taking the loss with quiet dignity, and had a classic, huh? That is like me.

Gave it to himself. And withdrawn from society. To those less familiar with that piece of shit, his reaction, or lack thereof, That is like me. Gave it to himself. And withdrawn from society. To those less familiar with that piece of shit, his reaction, or lack thereof, was characterized as, quote, unfeeling, but inside, he was emotionally destroyed. Don't know why I was privy to guys in a workings. Just one of those dream god things.

Anyway, glad you're both alive, Sarah. That's uncanny. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. More dream stuff. At first at first i was like i don't know about this but then i showed up and i was like okay not only that but sierra got a picture into your inner workings and i thought that's another cool component of dreams is that you just get this information which is is that's quite a cool thing

i think in dreams there's some stuff that you know and there's no reason for you to know it the dream just kind of goes okay here's your context and it's just in your head and there's never any kind of evidence for it it's just like here we go this is what's happening and then and it makes perfect sense at the time but then you wake up and you're like, wait a minute, why did I know that or why did I think that? But the dream just provided you that context. All I think of when I hear this is

Mitch Hedberg's joke about dreams with his landlord. Do you know that one? No. It's like dreaming here I'll get it for you I hate dreaming

because when you sleep you want to sleep dreaming is work you know there I am in a comfortable bed the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord

I want to dream of me watching myself sleep that's pretty good yeah he was one of the greats yeah Landlord, I want to dream of me watching myself sleep. That's pretty good. Yeah, he was one of the greats. Yeah. Here we go. Sup, Frosties?

That's it? You don't want to respond at all anymore to Sarah rightly calling you a piece of shit because of your emotional reaction to me getting people killed in a dream? Sarah didn't call me a piece of shit. She literally did. She literally said people thought he was a piece of shit but i understood to those less familiar with that piece of shit his reaction or lack thereof was characterized as unfeeling keep going but inside he was emotionally destroyed she gets it she gets it. She gets it. Still waters run deep. Sup, Frosties? I'm only a half dozen... A bird in the hand,

two in the bush. Well, that's what people say, but if you get those birds in the bush in your hand, you've got three birds. There's two of them. What are you going to do with them? Have them for dinner. Sup, Frosties? I'm only a half dozen or so eps into Season 5 right now,

and so maybe you've realized and discussed this already. If not, allow me to share with you that the one and only, beloved Patty Schwartz is distantly related to Emmanuel's own What? George Lazenby. Oh, shit! Yes!

From 2002 to 2008, Lazenby was married to Pam Shriver, Oh, shit! Shit. Okay. Fourth cousin by marriage. Maria Shriver is JFK's niece. So JFK is Paddy's great uncle. This is actually in the first paragraph of Paddy's wiki page. So sorry if it's old news and has been discussed, but it's news to me. So party time. Hope all's good in NZ. The rest of the world is totally not jealous of you and hope you're both

looking forward to the newly announced Sex and the City miniseries for season six, which we'll all need to get us through lockdown 2022. Kia kaha, Kieran. Thanks, Kieran. I don't, I,

I don't want to jinx anything, but like, I'm hoping that I'm hoping that most of us around the world, the global community will be out in 2022, right? Yeah. I mean, you're not like at the very, very start,

but it seems so. Fuck. We've got that vaccine rolling out now man yeah and i'm pretty sure my understanding of science is accurate which it nearly always is there will be no more pandemics this is the last one this was the last one on the sketch smallpox, nailed it Black Plague, did that one MERS, tried, failed SARS, similar-ish Slightly more successful COVID came along That was terrible

And that's the list done And that's the list done It doesn't say anything In Patrick Schwar schwarzenegger's wikipedia page about us that really hurts i tweeted him semi-recently or it came up online i think i said i've you know i keep forgetting that i've got a tattoo of patrick schwarzenegger on my body uh and he said i may be slightly paraphrasing but it's very similar to this I'll never forget which I thought was really sweet

that is nice yeah I should reach do you ever forget that you've got that tattoo guy? not really it's in a not super visible place yeah but I've got it's one of three tattoos

on my right buttocks cheek and so it's like you three tattoos on my right buttocks cheek and so it's like you know that's what you keep them and also our showers in front of a mirror and before the shower door fogs up and the mirror fogs up if i look at myself in the mirror often one of the things i'll say because i'll turn my body to face the shower head and i'll look at the mirror and it's on like the buttocks cheek that will be reflected in the mirror and i shower head, and I'll look at the mirror, and it's on the buttock's cheek that will be reflected in the mirror, and I'll see it, and I'll think,

hmm. The mirror next, directly opposite a shower is a real power play. I think the mirror directly opposite where you sit on the toilet is the ultimate power play. Have you ever sat down in someone's house with one of those?

I've only ever seen it in hotels and I've always been like, what is going, like why, why was this decision made? Have you ever eyeballed yourself while you're punching one out? No,

because I am a proud owner of a cell phone now. I'm not a Luddite. Well, you can record yourself doing it. Crispy 8K footage of me eyeballing myself while dropping a deuce in a hotel. I don't understand it. And it's got to be bad feng shui. Two places you don't put a mirror.

Head of a bed and in front of a toilet. Right? I guess. I was going to say the ground. Thanks, Guy. Elizabeth writes, Hey, boys. I've messaged you all ground. Thanks, Guy. Elizabeth writes, hey boys, I've messaged you all on Facebook, but thought I'd try here too

with this much less personal message. I got an ugly pet lizard this week that I love. That I've named Emmanuel Montbat, in honor of you and this wonderful season. He is ugly, but I love him. i cannot attach a photo but

he is a cuban false chameleon if you are curious uh and what your namesake looks like please check the facebook for a more heartfelt message love elizabeth flora ps remember to drink water today you deserve it always always reminding me to drink water. Thanks, Elizabeth. I actually do need that reminder today. I've not had a lot. I've had one glass. How'd it treat you? It was great.

I've had one glass, one coffee, one egg on toast. You're like a clean living version of... You? George Thurgood. Who's that? He's a man who had a song called one Scotch, one whiskey, one beer,

which I think the name of the song is actually the something like the rent blues or something like that. Something blues. I'm going to try and find the OG Facebook message from Elizabeth. Yeah. Oh no, I've accidentally clicked on a message. That's okay. It says, holy shit,

have you guys seen the Rob Schneider movie, The Animal? Just watched it. My first thought was, the worst idea, boys, would have a field day with this one. I've seen it. I have seen it. Yeah, I've seen The Animal, too.

That's from Julie, by the way. Thanks, Julie. I got something for you, Tim. Yo. Did you love that movie, The Animal too. That's from Julie, by the way. Thanks, Julie. I've got something for you, Tim. Yo. Did you love that movie, The Animal? I remember quite liking it. Yeah, when it came out, I was right into it. We were also very young.

How do you search things on Facebook? We were so young. I can see a message from Elizabeth. Do you reckon we've read it? No, it's further up than where I am. I'm so confused. I don't quite... See, Guy sorts out the Facebook messages,

so I've kind of lost track of how the whole system works. This is a nice little message. This is a short one from Denmark. Here we go. Recently stumbled on your director's commentary to Grown Ups 2 and let me just scribble down on some pepperas that you guys seem like a real joy to work with, real pros. Put it inside a giant wooden horse,

park it outside your studio and waddle off again. Hell yeah, that brought back some fine memories. That is good. You want another? Yeah. You're really listening to us go through. Chris. Right.

Ciao to my frostiest fellas. I've recently joined your Patreon and thought I would give a little shout out to you both. I'm currently living in Italy and I've been listening to your show throughout our various lockdown and quarantine measures. This week, we finally enter Orange Zone again, which gives us a little bit more freedom to move about and exercise outside. Guy seems so enthusiastic about running. I thought I would give it a go again. I was a cross-country runner my freshman year of high school,

although that was about 18 years ago. Christ. That's him saying that, not me, by the way. That would be rude. It's been so long since I got outside, I was eager for it. Did a nice stretch, then headed out. Needless to say,

I just got home for a short, maybe that's supposed to be from a short jaunt, where I made a decent time and comfortable strides i was feeling proud of myself so proud my husband poured me a little victory champagne oh yes but i can't stop coughing my nose is running and my chest feels like shit jesus what is happening to me i thought this was going to be fun guy made it seem like it was the greatest thing in the world and i just can't stop coughing are my lungs allergic to air from being in quarantine so long i'll give it a go again tomorrow but i can't help

but feel that this is all guy's fault therefore i no longer feel pity for your anguish except for tim who was a baby angel and did not lie to me. But guy, hate to tell you, until my lungs repair, you remain cancelled. If this wicked odd message happens to make it on your potty, say my name and say it loud, Chris. I also gendered Chris, but I've got no idea

who Chris is, to be honest, apart from this message. All I've got to go on. I've got to say, Chris, whoever you are, wherever you are, please don't cancel me i've i like that i like people going out and trying it and even if your lungs collapse you'll die doing what i loved um should we do another and then yeah i reckon this this could be a lovely last one you seem a

little tired guy and i seem a little punchy so we should probably knock it knock it on the head that's right this is uh oh this is oh there's quite a lot of correspondence here but it starts with dearest guy this is not really funny and probably not frenzo material but i found it very relevant to you in terms of recent activity, so I thought I'd share. Should I continue? I like your tone. Do you want to do a quick scan and make the judgment call, Monty? I trust you.

It's about Rob Schneider being Trumpian and anti-vax bullshit. Do you know what? I don't want to end a friendzone on that. Okay, but if I scroll scroll down so there's a few bits of correspondence it's about how rob schneider's a piece of shit on twitter basically uh but then the last paragraph reads also hold on i gotta because when i'm reading the facebook i can't see, but I want to see your face while I read this. That's cute.

And not good for the podcast. Also, I was wondering how he came up with the title of his latest special, Asian Mama, Mexican Kids. Based on a picture in one of his tweets, it seems his mother is of Asian descent. And looking at some of the... Fucking hell. I can't believe this.

And looking at some of his other posts, it appears his wife and therefore children are Hispanic presumably Mexican I would have I would have left I would have left right now

except I think it's kind of important to plug the stream again but otherwise I would have just bounced I would have stopped the button and just left to walk out on someone else's letter I understand if you want to walk out on me doing it, Tim,

but when a listener is trying to help inform and educate you on the media that you deal with... That is interesting. Thanks, Pat. It's good to know that stuff. So, did you hear that, Tim? Yeah, I did. I caught that.

I guess that does make sense because his mum must be the Asian mama to which he refers in the title. And then the kids must be the Mexican kids he talks about in the title too. I guess so. I guess you've cracked the case. Hey, Tim.

Do you see what happens when you just listen? The stream is happening on... Actually, I can get these details. I know. I know. Friday, February 19, I can get these details. I know, I know. Friday, February 19, 3pm New Zealand time, which is Thursday, February 18, 9pm Eastern Standard Time, 6pm Pacific Standard Time.

Friday, 1pm on the east coast of Australia. If you're in Perth, you're on your fucking own. You've known that your whole life. The most isolated major city on planet earth are you in europe or the uk i'm sorry to report we can't tell you when it's going to be but unless you're an insomniac it's not for you the good news is we'll archive it you will be able to access this experience after the fact we're probably going to sell it though because we want to um be rich get some money going to us and also to Littlefield.

I've also just realized that I've been doing this a lot. I've written on the page, February 2020 live stream event. I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that we're in the year of our Lord, 2021 yet. That's right. Actually, and that's a great note to end the podcast on. Praise be to Jesus. Praise be to God on high. Praise be Allah ja bliss yeah um all of them all of them are good peace and love to all religions peace and love peace and love i will be accepting no more fan

merchandise after march 21st peace and love fuck it's the funniest thing i've ever seen guy what is it have you stopped recording are you still on it's um ringo star announcing because you know he says peace and love just constantly non-stop it's his catchphrase he put out a video that announced um he was not going to be accepting any more like fan mail or merchandise that people would send in that he would sign. No more photos, no more signatures, none of that shit.

He wouldn't do any more autographs. And he like gave the date. But while he is obviously quite frustrated and announcing that he's just over it, he keeps having to punctuate it with peace and love. It's very funny. It does sound funny. Yeah, you should look it up. Well, thanks, everyone, for listening.

Thanks for being our friends. Thanks for writing. We look forward to talking with you soon. See you on the stream. We look forward to seeing you on the stream. Tim? Yeah? How are you?

Yeah, I'm out. Bye. All right. yeah how are you yeah i'm out bye all right well it's the friend zone with tim and guy it's the friend zone we're gonna have a good time it's the friend zone with tim and guy because making friends is the best idea of all time friend zone