The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 129

Episode Date: August 22, 2021

NZ is currently in lockdown but this was recorded before that even happened so enjoy the boiz' blissful ignorance! Tim had a baby shower and Guy is getting ready to go on tour (lawl), and the connective tissue between Dublin and Wichita is being joined thanks to Cowboy musician Glenn Campbell. We hear from Alex who got a personal shout out three years ago and Tim and Guy are told precisely how long they've spent watching awful movies and it sends Guy into a deep and silent funk. Timbo is bad at geography which inspires Guy to tell the world's worst anecdote about buying a shower curtain.SUPPORT US ON PATREON: (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime) VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com) MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight) ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. And welcome to the friendzone. You sprung that on me. I did. I do that often actually often actually i'm gonna open the door though because it's quite hot we've just recorded an episode i need to get my um phone or a means of checking out the correspondence it's totally fine allow me to introduce our friends to the zone a lot been happening on the home front ladies and germs um what's been going on had a little soiree to celebrate the impending

child coming into my life which was fun, Guy was there, I baked three cakes by myself Guy just tried one of them before it was fantastic, it's tricky though because they didn't rise enough which I think is a bit of a known

feature or bug of those cakey cakes. I've heard it before. Oh, really? I don't know. Not enough baking powder or something. Is that what makes them rise? I don't know what makes them rise, Tim. I don't know anything about baking, but I will say you made an incredible cake.

It was fantastic. Oh, thanks, mate. Honestly, it turned my morning around. Oh, right on. Love that. I'm not a bad baker, I turned my morning around. Oh, right on. Love that. I'm not a bad baker, I've got to say. I know how to do it. I'll say you're a good baker.

I used to bake chocolate cakes a lot as a teenager. I sort of taught myself how to make chocolate cakes when I was about 11, and then just I'd smash them out every weekend, make a little choccy cake from the south. I love it. Beautiful. Hadn't done one in ages though but um zoe's got a cake mixer i bought her a cake mixer for her birthday which

um out of context seems like a awful thing to get your wife but she wanted that specific why does it sound awful to get it's like it feels like getting someone a really cool vacuum cleaner you know oh like make me a cake. Yeah, it seems sexist to me on the face of it, but she did request it specifically. So that was really fun. Had some pals around here. Got some lovely gifts.

What was the best gift? I don't really want to rank them, but I will. I can't remember off the top of my head who got it for us, but we've got it written down because Zoe's very good at this. She put it in a book, whatever everyone got us. But it's this gorgeous plush dragon. Hi. Green, so soft. And Rufus thought it was for him.

Of course. Man, Rufus. Yeah. That guy's life's about to change. Yeah, yeah. Rufus the dog, Rufus our dog. He's in for a shock. Big style.

Now, he's all right with babies, though, eh? There were a lot of kids here at that party. It was stressful. Yeah. I couldn't show everyone my kicks because there were so many fucking kids around. You literally- My high kicks. Yeah.

You know, I've been working on my high kicks. You would have fucked shit up I know If you were just kicking around There's a lot of people in general In such a small space I don't really go to baby showers anymore Fair enough

My main thing I do at parties is my high kicks Got my birthday coming up If anyone wants to wish me a happy birthday You may do so It's on the 19th of August And It's a Thursday this year Gonna be going bowling with a few pals

Am I invited? Yes you're invited. Thank you. Go Montgomery. Please bring Chelsea if you can. Chelsea. And also, Guy's got a nationwide comedy tour coming up. He's doing stand-up across the whole country.

It's true. That is very exciting. Tickets are on sale now for all locations. And there's 19 of the bastards. I'm starting in Whangarei and I'm finishing in Nelson of all places. Nelson's not far south enough if you're starting in Whangarei. Well, it's not done exactly geographically. I'm going as far south as Queenstown or Dunedin,

whichever is further south. Queenstown. But anyway, it's incredible. It's happening over September and October. I say it's incredible. I hope it's incredible. It will be. This will be sick as hell, and especially towards the end of it.

So you people in South Island are going to be getting Guy on form. If you're in Northland, you're in for a rocky time. It's going to be a difficult 60 minutes It's going to be a good time Seeing my man on stage First show, Whangarei, Wednesday the 22nd of September Last show, Nelson, Saturday the 23rd of October And there's 17 shows in between that

So you'll be doing Are you doing one on your birthday? No No, wait, your birthday is the 29th 9th of September So I'm not doing one then But I am doing one the next night in Tauranga. Well, how about that?

Liv has written us an email from the 25th day of February in the year of our Lord 2021. Would you like to hear it? Yeah. Hi, hi. Just wanted to thank you and Guy for the last few years of laughs. This podcast really helped me not sink into a deep depression in high school. And now it's just funny while I'm attending art college.

I would also like to let you know that many people here are big fans of you guys and Big Top Burger. Art students fucking love clowns. Like most own at least one porcelain clown. I'm very much enjoying this season with Emmanuel.

That's so good. It's spelt like kind of phonetically. A-M-A-N and then the word you and then the word well. Love it. I don't know how you spell your name. I'm dyslexic. And hope for new seasons in the future. Also, sorry, Guy, for the inebriated frog photos,

but my hands are kind of tired, so I got to keep sending them. I love those. My hands are tied. Sorry, not gotta keep sending them my hands are tied sorry not tired i'm always getting those uh if this gets on the friend zone say my name live low ebb they them thank you live i think i've got one of these maybe i've got one of these cartoon frogs as a preview of your um profile i'm always getting these freakingicking frogs. They rocks. Love a frog. Love Big Top Burger. Yeah. Coolest thing I've ever been involved in.

And I need you more. Including this podcast. There was a new episode that dropped recently I watched. Oh, really? Was it like a burger fair? Or some sort of food truck? I mean, I might not have seen that one. I think you're in it.

Yeah, that's possible. Oh. I don't see them until they come out, and sometimes I don't know when they come out. I'm just on YouTube and it's like, hey, have you seen this? It's like, hey, I'm in this. It was really, really funny. Choice.

Shall I read something out? Yeah. Hey, Tom and Guy. This person swapped the vowels and our names That is good Tim and Guy It's Tum and I don't know how you do G-I-Y How would you do it?

You got it Guy Ready for some podcast inception? Just listen Hit me To Friendzone 127 And the first person Is that a prime number?

127 I reckon friendzone127. Is that a prime number? 127? I reckon. And the first message was from someone in Ireland who referenced my previous message and how it reminded them of the song Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell, which you boys introduced them to in a previous episode.

Funnily enough, even though I'm from Wichita, I was first introduced to the song when I stayed at an Airbnb in Dublin, Ireland in 2016 and the owner was a radio host who upon hearing I was from Wichita had to know if I liked that song and played it for me when I said I didn't know it. Obviously I loved it and have since listened to it many times over.

So I guess Ireland and Wichita are inextricably linked by Glen Campbell somehow, or Irish people just have great taste in classic American Western music. And that's from Maggie, and there's a new feature on the Facebook Messenger for the page where at the bottom of the message it says here, it's given me the option to create an appointment. I'm going to suggest you go ahead and don't do that. Sorry, Maggie, it's nothing personal,

but I'm just not going to create an appointment. That is cool. So Dublin, Ireland, and Wichita, Kansas will now heretofore be known as sister cities. Am I using that correctly? Yeah. Heretofore. Heretofore.

Hithertofore is is before isn't it? it's up until here to four I googled it it's about 127 as a prime it sounds like a prime so it's pretty good I'm not sure if I've read this one before

because I did I'll read you my reply first which is simply disgusting thank you Jesper and now I will read the message sent on the 25th of Feb dear timbly wimbley battery

bat and guy piece of shit montgomery just listen just listen to a friendzone episode where someone brought up the amount of time you have spent watching bad movies but didn't calculate it so i did a quick calculation rude uh and which a few simple and and and uh tidy that up a few simplifications and not counting patreon episodes you have spent are you ready guy 31 072 minutes or 518 hours or 22 days or three entire weeks watching just watching films for the podcast. And that is just counting the time watching films. And for the curious, that is about 13 normal work weeks, assuming 40 hours in a week.

Love from Sweden, same a fucking name, Jesper Lundberg. Guy has slipped into what I can only describe as a catatonic state being presented with the number of hours that he has sunk into this project. A

malaise is being expressed on his face and here comes the retort. Wouldn't change it but wouldn't do it again. Well, that's what you think. That's what I know. That is so, I mean, it's, in a sense, it's incredible.

Like, just do one thing over and over again. Incredibly stupid. Yeah, it's fucking stupid. You've exited it out of the messages because you're so devastated yeah I was upset I'm going to read one then I just began listening to the worst idea of all time

after I've been listening to my brother my brother and me they had sold the till death do us part episode and I binged because I desperately need something to listen to at work that yearly series is hilarious, and had me stopping several times at work just to laugh at it. How fun the pair of you are in it made me interested in your other...

Okay, let me try that again with different intonation. How fun the pair of you are in it made me interested in your other series. I just finished the entire run of the first season of Worst Idea of All Time, and from the descent into madness of the first season of Worst Idea of All Time and from the descent into madness of the first seven or eight episodes to the grim acceptance of your task through the triumph of passing the halfway point and the culmination of your climb down

the mountain in LA, I consumed the entire season in just about a week. Love that. Seven or eight-ish hour sessions. Good crimity. The constant questioning of not just why yourself, but asking the audience why, why are you listening to this, kept me engaged.

I'm writing because I've started on season two and just finished episode four. At the end of it, you tell your listeners thank you and that you love them. And then specifically call out Alex. I know that's a pretty common gag to pick a popular name and shout it out, but it hit me hard. I feel like this podcast caught me at exactly the right time in my life. I'm in a period where I feel like doing the same things day in and day out. What feels like

the worst week of my life had started last Thursday, a full week ago, and I've now been struggling through the most depressing, painful days I can ever remember going through. The moments when I can tune everything out and focus on the maddening action the peer review and your guests put through is my shining light. Having two people going through a mundane, insane task, self-inflicted and doing everything that they can just to get through each week really resonates. I have thought several times,

well, if they can watch these awful movies once a week, I can do this thing. Hearing that throwaway gag of the two of you professing your love for Alex's Everywhere had me almost break down because it felt like you were speaking directly to me. You two are comedy masterminds and your show is fantastic. I am really excited to continue

marching through your struggles to catch up and follow along with the adventure in this the year 2021 I still don't know why you decided to do this absolutely insane thing but I'm glad that you did I did not watch Grown Ups 2 and I will hold myself

to only ever consume the movies you do your weekly reviews of through your podcast. Thank you for your entertainment. You rock. That's really nice. I've actually. Hold on. I need to dwell on this for a little bit.

There's a very big message guy from Alex. Alex really opened themselves up to us, the hosts of the Worst Idea of All Time. And Alex, I say unto you, I'm very sorry to hear that things might not be going great at the moment. And know that that unfortunately is how

life works sometimes. But also know this, the other way that life works is that things do get better. We're at your side we're here for you producing i think it was 16 work work weeks of content through the ages 13 13 get it in you alex yeah we love you we've done the work for you to unwind And enjoy some Horrible escapism

We provide Nightmare soundscape for people who are having A hard time in their lives to go on holiday in And the beauty of it is You know you can leave That holiday but the visions of Ourselves who recorded that are trapped There for time

immemorial. It's incredible to think the length and breadth of the audio footprint we have left in the world of us literally at our very worst. That is the opposite of most people's desired output in life. No one really wants to bottle themselves at their lowest and then just send it out for everyone to enjoy. Give the people what they want. It's an act of generosity on our behalf. By the way, thanks to the regularity of the recent friend zones and the deep love that we share, the Facebook,

this is going to frustrate some people whose messages haven't been read out but by my research and by what I've looked at we're up to date we're up to date so anything at all fire it through to the worst editor of all time

Facebook or at Twio at pod on Twitter we'd love to hear from you this is an email there's probably stuff sitting in the Twitter address to Tim I've just thought of that now

definitely stuff sitting in the Patreon. Address to Tim. I've just thought of that now. Definitely stuff sitting in the Patreon. Hey, Tim. Long-time listener. Awesome show. Great job. So, okay, here it comes. I knocked something a little sum-sum up for you guys to use if you want. I went the route of old school 80s 8-bit rock or like Street Fighter

or Scott Pilgrim for that matter. Let me know what you think. I hope you dig it and are keen to use it. I did include my ID tags in the track, so it's just free to use. I'm including an M4A version and an MP3 version so you can use either format. I'm actually a composer normally, so if you want any other music, feel free to reach out. Also, separate note, I've noticed another connection with the Sandlerverse right at the start of Grown Ups 1. I think the Hollywood agent Lenny is yelling it on the phone in his living room

is actually Sandy Wexler from another Sandler film by the same name, which makes sense with how he ends the phone call with, I love you too. Bye. Anywho, hope you enjoy. You could do that actually. All the best, man. Guy's got my phone, everybody.

So I'm just getting him to play that attachment. VLC? Yep, to play that attachment VLC Yep that sounds good VLC The free open source media player For your PC Mac or Android device Yeah

If only I could navigate it Oh it's not opening huh Yeah Let's try the What was that the MP3 Try the M4A Which My nerds out there will know

Is just a wrapper for AAC I'm going to download the file Do you want to read something Yeah I've downloaded the file So this should Welcome to the friend zone Friend... Welcome to the friend zone. Friend zone.

Welcome to the friend zone. You can play that Dastardly. It's just Dastardly. It's just the worst. Hell yeah, dude. That is... Welcome to the friend... Okay, that Hell yeah dude That is Okay That's good

Yeah That is very Scott Pilgrim-y 8-bit rock We're currently rocking That's a beautiful Aussie voice too An intro theme from Death Hand

If I'm not much mistaken Yeah you got it Yeah Maybe I'll flip that one in Yeah Hell yeah dude I'm gonna mark that Why wouldn't you And then forget about it. Yeah. Maybe I'll flip that one in. Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. I'm going to mark that. Why wouldn't you?

And then forget about it later. Yeah, that'll be... Do you want to just keep my phone, bro? Read through a few. Look at that. Got a donation there. Oh, wow. Is it for...

This email confirms that you've received a donation of 50 USD. Whoa, shit! From the wickedly talented Fiona. And it says, thank you for existing. Dude, thank you for 50 US dollars. You magnificent boys. That's what it says. That's how it is. That's how it be.

Fiona, thank you so much. Man, I hope... Your financial support allows us to continue punching ourselves in the bollocks with cinematic products. So thank you. This one reads, Man, I hope this is where you send stuff for the friend zone.

Anyways, I found y'all through Deathblood and started listening to Twiowat on the pretext of learning to tell y'all's voices apart. Anyways, I've listened to the whole catalogue and I think you've ruined how I watch movies. I'm not currently sober enough to explain that thought any further without rambling But I absolutely think this is the case Anyways, I just wanted to say, thanks for the pod I found it a great accompaniment to some painting I've been doing recently If this does make it on the friendzone, say my goddamn name Say it

Dex Dex, hell yeah What a concise and clear message for an inebriated person. Yeah. From an inebriated person. Only note, they used anyways twice to start two consecutive sentences. So I'm going to work on Dex. I mean, it's a great message, don't get me wrong,

but if you do want notes, you can ask for them. Guy knows what's coming from me. What? Going to have him up for being a pedant. Oh, fuck you. That's the next thing that's coming out of my mouth. Do you want to hit another email? Yeah.

Cool. Subject line. Please quit reminding us of our plight. Date. March 11th. Text. Oh, man. I was going to end on this, but I can already tell the tone is not going to be a...

Hello, Tim. Uh-oh. I think you picked a good voice for this I'm such a huge fan of your show It brings me great joy to listen As it does many others I consider myself a soft hearted gal And every time I hit friendzone episode 99

It physically causes me anxiety We're fully aware our country's on fire So please be gentle with the millions who are terrified I'll still listen because I still adore you Just remember there are many people trying to fight the good fight, and I hope you can see the quiet many rather than the boastful few. Much love, Geneva Shirley. Were you allowed to say that name?

Does that seem legit? Maybe just keep it to the first names and future guy. At any rate, hey, look, that message, fair dinkum. That is to say, in my Antipodean way, you're correct. What were we doing in early March? Shooting our mouth off, probably. Sounds like it. Doesn't it?

So, no, it's a good point well made. The thing about being in our blessed country is we're incredibly lucky, and the thing about being a human being is often you normalize whatever situation you're in like immediately. And you get trapped in your own little bubble of experience. So apologies if we've come across as – well, apologies if we have – not if we've come across. Apologies if we have been – what's the word I'm looking for? Callous. Callous.

That was the word. Yes. I know. We probably have been callous. That was the word. Yes. I know. We probably have been callous. So sorry for that. Definitely. Across our checkered history of podcasting. Yeah, dog.

But we love you guys. And I'm not ending on that one. I'm going to get another message. That's fresh. That one there is fresh. What do you mean? The one that you just exited out of was different from the one we just read. Oh, okay.

Got you. Got you. Got you. Got you. This one's from someone else that says, Good morning i just listened to friend zone 116 and guy mentioned heat the movie starring robert de niro and al pacino love that movie it made me remember the movie righteous kill a crime drama that stars de niro and pacino i watched it the other night with my husband after thinking quote quote, How have I not heard of this movie? Then I watched the movie and realized why I hadn't heard of it.

A movie so bad, it begs the question, are De Niro and Pacino actually terrible actors? I had so many amazing belly laughs watching this movie, especially toward the end. Definitely worth a watch if you're in the mood. I do not recommend watching it 52 times. Roger that. Also, 50 Cent is in it.

Hey! We don't hear from him anymore. It's from Shana from the USA. I wonder what 50 Cent's doing. Getting paid. Right? Presumably. He's a very entrepreneurial guy, isn't he?

Yeah, he retweeted someone 36 seconds ago. Oh, yeah? What was the nature of the tweet? Doesn't make sense without context. Oh, okay. He's promoting something. How many followers do you think 50 Cent has on Twitter? 1.2 million.

12.6? Jesus, 12.6 million. How many people do you think he follows? That's a good question. 200. 21. I was originally going to say like 2,000, so I'm glad I paired it back. But I was still very wrong.

Nah, you were good. All right. That's it for the friend zone today. Nice short, sharp one. How many followers do you think Marshall Mathers has? He's not on Twitter, is he? Yeah. Is he?

Yeah. Does he tweet? A little bit. Promotional stuff. Probably someone does it for him. Dog, I'm going to say more than 50 cent. I'm going to say 15 mil. 22.

Damn. That's a lot. Doesn't follow a soul. Good on him. That's the way to do it. It is. Gets so undeniably good that you can have 22 million people follow you and you don't have to give back to the community at all.

At any rate, folks, what a joy to be with you. Hope you're doing okay. Yeah. If you're in New Zealand or you know anyone in New Zealand, please check out my tour dates, go on montgomery.co.nz. I would love to see you in the region. So I've never done this before. I'm excited and nervous.

It's going to be good, though. I'm in a funny zone as a comedian. So there's that. There's that. And I'm going to continue Perfecting my baking So we've all got stuff going on Yeah Don't you worry about Timbo

You're in Sandringham Knock on every door Fires in the eye Eventually you'll find Timbette With a cake in his hand And he'll say Please can you try this I'm working on something magnificent

Bye In the friend zone, you're always home. In the friend zone, you're not alone. Anytime with Tim and Guy.