The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 134

Episode Date: October 8, 2021

In this Friendzone, we've got a long, late night audio message from Oslo, Norway asking the boiz whether or not they think a listener needs professional help to get them through their sleepless nights and constant ruminations on Worst films. Alumni from the iconic LMU write in to thank Tim and Guy for filling the sociable, stoned void left from a world in lockdown and a parent/fellow Norm fan talks exclusively to Guy about the comedic legacy of Mr Macdonald.SUPPORT US ON PATREON: (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime) VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com) MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight) ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. Hello everyone, and by everyone, I mean Tim. It's me. It's me. It's me. I like that. I like an it's me through an exhale. Suggests a man who is here, but there's something just beneath the surface that we don't know about.

Yeah, I smacked my head on a branch. I haven't done that in years. I walked into a tree. Can I ask you a very important question? Like an hour ago. Were you wearing a hat? No. Oh, man.

Well, you've got no one to blame but yourself. Sometimes wearing a hat is, oh, I see what you're saying, because it adds like that extra couple of inches on the front that you don't generally account for with your body. I've had two major head bangs that drew blood, significant blood in one instance, from wearing a hat. Was it from wearing a hat or was it from being Guy Montgomery versus a tree? It was because what I did is I strapped knives to the hat.

So it was from wearing the actual hat. No, it was from me being myself. A knife hat. No, hold on for me being myself. A knife hat. No, hold on. Let's pursue this. Guy Montgomery was in the heart of Australia, and he remembered a flashback as a boy when he had seen those old jokers sitting out on porches

overlooking their vast Australian estates. They were probably taken from some indigenous people at some point definitely wearing those hats with corks on them to brush the flies away but guy was like flies aren't the problem in australia those big poisonous spiders are and you know what's more powerful than a cork heaps of knives you know why actually that, that was an unexpected byproduct. The real reason I taped all these little knives to my hats was I was tired of putting whole pieces of fruit up to my mouth and having to eat fruit whole. And I thought there's got to be a way that I can slice this fruit hands-free on the way to my mouth. So it maintains all of the freshness of an unpeeled or unopened fruit for as long as possible.

Whoa. Yeah. That's crazy to think about. That is the freshest fruit you could get. The freshest sliced fruit is by putting knives on a hat just in front of your mouth. You better believe it. But you know how to get even fresher than that?

Nature's knives, a.k.a. knives aka your teeth oh so you'd think but i'm not going to remove my teeth and put them onto a hat i'd much rather gross yeah no no i wasn't suggesting that it feels like you were no i'm going to keep my teeth in my mouth thanks tim and i will begrudgingly accept that fact about you welcome to the friend zone, everybody. These are our in-between episodes of the worst idea of all time, starring stars of the podcast, Earwaves. Guy Alexander, Halifax, Montgomery, born on the 29th of September, 1988, I think.

Holy shit. My God, he's done it. Eight, I think. Holy shit. My God, he's done it. And your boy, Tim Batt, age unknown, middle name unknown. He's a mysterious philanderer. Yeah. I actually did a podcast with a man in Toronto yesterday,

and he brought to my attention, this was after he'd finished the podcast which is a shame because i i found this interesting he he'd done some sort of research and he brought to my attention this really weird website which was like um it's not wikipedia but it's like wikipedia it's one of those weird you know how everything has its own wikipedia i think we spoke about this recently. Yes. It's like some weird website that's purportedly for famous people, but it's got education, early life or whatever, and then it's got like net worth, marital status,

and under all the ones that they don't have enough data for, it says Guy Montgomery has withheld this information from the public. And so the whole angle is like... Guy, why will you not disclose your net worth with the public? I know. The people have a right to know. Carefully guarding my relationship status. I just like, you know, I like the idea that until anyone's famous enough

that this information's weaseled out by the media, that it's being deliberately and carefully withheld from very interested prying eyes. Honestly, there's a real deep sociological point that you could draw from that fact, which I will. Now, this makes some sense because it presupposes that we're living in a society, which I think we are, that takes as read everyone's main goal is to get fucking famous. I hate it. I hate what it's about. It is vacuous. It is a pursuit of something that makes zero people actually happy.

And I think it's dangerous and poisoning society Absolutely, I mean if, yeah it just means that we're all in an arms race for external validation Do you know God, this is insane

Who's Kissinger in that situation then? I'm always Henry Kissinger, you know I'm a big Kissinger in that situation then? I'm always Henry Kissinger. You know I'm a big Kissinger stan. Do you know who actually, what piece of media and what creator actually highlighted this in a very sort of quite poignant and salient way is maybe the last decent thing he produced, but Ricky Gervais' Christmas special of extras,

where his character Andy Millman's experienced fame and then not on his terms and had it taken away from him, and he appears on Celebrity Big Brother, and he delivers a somewhat impassioned sort of, you can see Ricky Gervais threading his own, to this day, miraculously acceptable views on a certain topic through the character but he's essentially saying like all anyone

wants now is to be famous no one's interested in the craft or no one's interested in actually creating anything like they skip forward to the part of the part of the journey which is like I'm famous now all they see themselves doing is standing on a red carpet

and being photographed and everyone talking about them there's no interest or like you know passion for the steps or like for the you know fame is an unfortunate byproduct of being very good at something in an ideal world it's

it's not a means to an end but you are really collecting some top-notch dudes to look up to. Ricky Gervais, Henry Kissinger, whoever's on this illustrious list of Guy Montgomery's top hitters. Hannity. Sean or, oh, wait. Sean.

What was, yeah, okay. Hey, Tim, don't worry about it. It's Sean. Those are my three guys. And even from lockdown, I get on a Zoom with them. Every Monday morning, we have a coffee. We talk over the weekend's news, and then we set our agenda for the week. That disturbs me that Henry Kissinger is still alive.

I honestly do not know who henry kissinger is once about every four months i will send that tweet it's quite a common tweet on my twitter it's just like i cannot believe this fucking dude is still walking among us he's gotta be in his 90s you gotta be alive man you gotta be You just gotta be Can I open a file in front of you? This has been sent to us From someone who hasn't specified whether they want their name on or off So what does that mean they get? They get no mention

The subject line to this email is Why sleep when you can sex in the city forever? And um Okay There's an attached mp4 titled Timmy Timmy and the City Forever and um there's an attached mp4 titled Timmy Timmy and the Guy After Midnight I don't know what it is, I've never heard it before

let's listen together to this Hi Timmy Timmy and Guy After Midnight this is Oslo Norway writing or actually recording because I'm too tired and my arms are too sore after a workout. So I'm hoping that either the secretaries I presume that you have or Tim's dabbling skills

can figure out how to get this transcribed um okay so Easter is over and I have to go to work tomorrow and but I can't stop my brain from thinking

about your separate watches of Sex and the City 2. And I'm trying to remember separate watches and the schemes and alternative universes your brain's made up and it's a problem i mean i'm spending time in the middle of the night trying to think about the several times you watched sex in the city 2 i don't know if this is healthy. My questions to you are, do you often lie awake at night thinking about your separate watches of the separate movies and trying to remember them apart from each other? What do you do then to try and stop

to think about it? And if your answers are that you are healthy and you don't do this and you're okay then I have to ask you do you think I need to seek

professional help? A friend asked me the other day if I've seen Sex and the City 2. And I just have to make something clear. I watch a lot of movies and I count them all on my account on IMDb. So I have a very good, like I keep very good track. But this is maybe the only time I had to answer a question about if I've seen a movie or not. I just had to answer, I don't know if I've seen a movie or not. I just had to answer, I don't know if I've seen it.

It feels like I have, but I really don't know. And I'll never, I don't even know anymore if I've seen it or not. Yeah, so... I have problems. And it's all your fault.

And I can't sleep. But I love you. And I think this is so genius. I don't think you should transcribe it at all, actually. I just think you should maybe run it as a separate episode thank you don't call me by my real name i prefer my pseudonym lil apocalypse good night and may you never sleep again. Fuck! Was that like Lil Apocalypse or Little? Like the sort of colloquial

Little. I heard Little. Like, you know, L-I-L. Short for Little. Speaking on behalf of all Norwegians I understand. Is that a first to receive an audio piece of correspondence played down in its entirety?

I don't think so. Sometimes we get songs or whatever, but they usually come with a written explanation. But honestly, I kind of respect that style of correspondence. I would love to see more of it. There's something very special about hearing from y'all in your own, in literally your own voice. Yeah.

I really enjoyed it. I'm sorry for the, I mean, little apocalypse, you sound exhausted. And honestly, by the end of of it it sounded like just articulating the feelings you were having and the reasons that you were still awake um maybe went some ways to to making you even more tired and while you wish for us to never know the sweet kiss of sleep again i i hope you got some shut eye because you really sounded like you needed it well to the relevant questions asked though guy do you often lie awake at night thinking about our separate watches of the movies no the this the difference is that ours is a lived experience

and like i can understand for someone who is quite a fastidious documenter of films that they've seen, I can understand the frustration of, you know, having a question mark hanging over one of them, such as you might if you listen to the podcast, you can't remember if you've actually seen it or if you've just pieced together some sort of fever dream of a film. But it doesn't, I don't think about it.

It doesn't bother me. It doesn't keep me up. So in short, the answer for me is no. What about you? Well, then the second relevant question from Little Apocalypse was, do you think they need to seek professional help? Really, not really my question to answer, even though it was addressed to me.

None of his business. It's none of his business, little apocalypse. I think not. Like, you sounded lucid and... It does. It smacks of sort of intrusive thoughts to me, though, with maybe a little bit of... If genuinely it is keeping you

up at night across multiple nights uh that is probably a clinical definition of some sort of syndrome because it's interfering with your healthy life so to that end i don't know if you've got um ready access to uh the available mental health resources in your country fucking go for it and then send me a letter and tell me what that's like so tell you what new zealand ain't so hot at that yeah uh but i mean the my takeaway is that I feel there was a very sort of like intimate piece of correspondence to actually hear a friend's own message articulated in real time. And this is not a slight on the written word.

I guess it's just, you know, as the great Ray Badron says, variety is the spice girl of life. I loved it. Have you got anything more to say, or shall I dip into our more traditional means of correspondence? Here's what I have more to say. I just took my shoes off, and I feel 10 times better. Oh, dude, I haven't put on shoes all day.

Oh, not true. I put on a pair of Birkenstocks to walk to the coffee shop and pick up an No shoes, you're in the clear. Piccolo. I got something for you. Hey, everybody. It's Guy Montgomery and he's got something to say.

And he's got something for you. Howdy, Frosty fellas. Glad to finally be paying the boy. Hmm, Singular, I wonder who's meant to get this portion of the money via Patreon after a year of dedicated listening.

Took me a minute to realise this, but your frustration with the works you dedicate yourself to mirrors that of professional wrestling fans. Wrestling at its best is awe-inspiring and full of stories that are simple yet incredibly moving at its worst it's shallow vulgar garbage written by roided egomaniacs trying to squeeze every dime they can out of a viewer lifelong wrestling fans will suffer through the worst of it just to find a single shining light all that to say i'd love to see you too watch a year's worth of pro wrestling at its worst the late 90s early 2000s were a particularly

bad time for both the wwe and rival promotion wcw though i'm sure there's plenty more to choose from excited to see what the future holds from you all. Regardless, all the best. Say my alias, Flighty Buttless. Flighty Buttless. Flighty Buttless. A pleasure to hear from you. Truly. Can I play from you my favorite moment in wrestling history?

Because I'm not a wrestling fan, so I only hear about the big noisy stuff proliferally. Not a okay can i tell you that i've got in my mind something locked and loaded as a guess for what it is what do you think oh can you write it down on a sheet of a piece of paper yeah i will i'm getting a book right now and then i'll play it and i actually think you're fucking wrong but tangentially close or not even tangentially close i think you were fucking wrong, but tangentially close. Well, not even tangentially close. I think you were close, but wrong. So here we go. He's written it down.

I'm going to play the clip. I walk out here every night with hustle, loyalty, respect on my sleeve. That is a credo I have adopted for the men and women who defend the freedom of this country. and women who defend the freedom of this country. We have caught and compromised to a permanent end Osama bin Laden. What the fuck? I like that. There's a real artistry to the wording of that.

What is it? We've caught and compromised to a permanent end. Is that John Cena talking? Yeah, it is. And what did you think my guess was going to be? The John Cena prank call from that radio station. John Cena prank call. Yep, he's written it down.

Yeah. John Cena prank call Yep he's written it down Yeah I am such a Luddite or you know An ignoramus when it comes to wrestling That it's basically one of the only Only moments I have on tap to reference when the

Topic comes up There's no way I'm getting into wrestling at this point I'm sorry the train has left the station We've got friends who are real into wrestling And I want to say That I get it I think I get train's left the station we've got friends who are real into wrestling and I want to say that I get it I think I get it I understand the appeal but it is something that you either

I think have to be ushered into it's like Catholicism you've got to be brought in at a very early age or make a very steadfast decision a very big choice as a growing up to get on board yeah i i mean there is like there's an appeal in the um

it's not it's it's there's an appeal pageantry the pageantry of the pageantry but also like the the the part of wrestling that was highlighted to me which is like you know it's it's there's an appeal pageantry the pageantry of the pageantry but also like the the the part of wrestling that was highlighted to me which is like you know it's actually not miles away from what i was talking about um in the latest episode of the podcast with youtube which is like watching historic sporting events not knowing the narrative or the outline and actually you know it's like watching an old tv show like a soap and um get into it you know like it's all in the can none of it has any actual real life consequence to what's happening now there's a beauty in the the empty calories i suppose of consuming an old wrestling narrative right now it's like yeah why wouldn't you but at the same

time i'm not going to do it it's not not happening. You want to hear about wrestling? You go talk to Reece Mathewson. Tell him we sent you. That's right. Oh, here's another email that I'm reading now, and it actually comes in the form of a donation to us, the boys. Good luck with it. My name is Sam. Hi, Sam.

It's me. There was a little burp because I'm drinking a beer. My name is Sam. Hi, Sam. There's a little burp because I'm drinking a beer. My name is Sam. They, them, just sending my gratitude. If you want to read this on the friend zone, go ahead. Hi there, intimidation and... Oh, that's good. Hi there, intimidation and gynasium.

Gymnasium. It actually, it says gymnasium. It actually, it says gymnasium. About a year ago, I started binging your podcast right after graduating and getting my CG VFX degree. Have I read this one? With COVID, have I? It sounds familiar. It does sound familiar.

With COVID and deep fear of actually getting out there in the industry, I'm stuck as a 3D furry artist making cash doing freelance work. Yeah, I believe we've read this in the last one. This was about cats. I can say with supreme confidence that we've had this one, and it was great. Do you know how I know it was great?

Because we remember it. Do you remember this one? Dear Gaimon and Timba, like Timon and Pumba. I don't know. It's 2 a.m. No, that's news to me I'm trying to catch up with the backlog Friendzones from last year I'll just let you know Guy that this was sent

On the 17th of April And I got to the one where Guy says The bouncer in Georgia made him pay 10 bucks at the venue he was performing Well, that made me Angry enough to chuck that right back. They've donated $10. Oh, wow. Being from the southern states, it bums me out that you experience that

when one of our charms is supposed to be our hospitality. Mate, made this negate his negative karma. I'm going to change that. Made this negate his negative karma. As my nonny would say, bless his heart. You boys continue to delight and inspire me. I wish you the best of broken legs during your performances in the upcoming festivals.

Love you, Elizabeth Flora, for the fourth time. I'm sorry. And then that emoji that's a smiley face, but it's got a little sweet mark there, so it's like, you know, nervously smiling. Elizabeth, thank you so much. A, for the donation. B, for the well wishes.

And C, for being a regular consumer of the podcast. And by regular, I don't mean ordinary. I mean repeated. Thank you for making that distinguished point there at the end tim i would like to say first of all that your well wishes um while not received beforehand cosmically at least were taken on board because from memory tim and i absolutely had a fucking barnstorming time at the festivals we had a great year we were hilarious people. They laughed their asses off. And honestly, it was an incredibly rewarding time.

We sold well. We brought our A game. We were fun and funny. We were the toast of the town. And then we did a live show to determine who the best host of the podcast was. We conducted a running race in the biggest venue that you can get in New Zealand's comedy festival in front

of a room of paying ticket holders and it felt like a waste of time while we were doing it and maybe it was but it was a lot of fun it was a lot of fun and may I hasten to add because I would hate to overlook this fact, that Guy was crowned

supreme, grand, unquestionable, eternal winner of the best host of the worst radio full-time. I'm going to put that title on ice for as long as it takes for me to actually get to these watches, because I am- That's true. I am, I owe our listeners and any sadists a debt of two back-to-back independent individual screenings of sex in the city too so our fans in oslo norway no doubt will lose their fucking minds over the very concept of that how about that i shouldn't be pitching you stuff on the friend zone it's such a horrible thing to do because we're recording right but i think you should do

it as a live stream where people can only see and hear you, none of the movie, because then you get copyright issues. I do. And do it for charity. I totally agree. My charity of choice, the worst idea of all time.

Guy Montgomery. Yeah. No, I agree. I'd love to do that. I'd love to get a streaming set up and I'd probably do it on my – Oh, you can simulcast if you're smart. I don't know.

Anyway, that's a different conversation. You just buy a subscription to a service called Recast, and it costs like $12 a month, I think. You can cancel it off the first one. People don't need to know about this. What I'm saying is it's a great idea to – But a couple people do. Okay, and we do not want to cut them out.

It's a great idea, Tim. But a couple people do. Okay, and we do not want to cut them out. I would also like to speak to my experience in Atlanta, Georgia. And just like hearing that experience re-articulated back to me, it was undeniably, it was very jarring and felt quite negative. But more than that, hearing about it now after i haven't thought about it for so long it there's a palpable nostalgia to remembering that not not because of that specific incident but because of like time and place that was december 2019 and i was in the middle well not the middle but like the opening third of driving across

America with my friend Ken and that was in Atlanta it was the night before I flew to Austin Texas to do like one of the coolest things I've got to do in my career in my life which was like I got to do a taping at for Comedy Central in the US and like you know I got the experience of flying to an airport and there was a person with a sign with my name on it and getting you know like a cab to a hotel where i was it was like so cool and legitimate to me and i'd forgotten i can't believe how well you timed it as well i know like that trip was just as the gates of global travel you know what i also and this has reminded me of this which is why I'm so grateful for this message. I kept a very detailed running diary or journal of like that entire drive.

And I can go after this. I can go into my notes and like relive the entire experience of driving across America with my friend Ken. And so the experience was negative. The donation's generous. The memories that you have sparked and the fucking vivid nature of recalling that experience and what goes around it, I'm incredibly grateful for.

So thank you for that message. Bloody go off. I shall. I shall go off and read another message. This one reads as such. New Friendzone message. Greetings, O Lockdown Boys. Hello.

I was just listening to Friendzone 130, and Guy mentioned how he misses the singing with other people bit of religion. This is from a few Friendzones ago. Me too. I'll admit it was something I didn't realize I was into until I discovered that God was dead, buried, and considerable questions were being asked about the movements of certain existential philosophers on the night in question. But given lightning will strike me if I ever set foot in a church again,

I'd figured the singing with other people bit of my life was gone aside from a bit of karaoke. But then a mate of mine invited me out to the Wellington Sea Shanty Society when they were on tour here in Auckland. Yes. The people who documented the existence of the Wellerman. We went to the fridge in Flagon, walked in, got a beer and a songbook, then raucously sung along with shanties all night. It was like being in a drunken blur of the best bits

of Assassin's Creed Black Flag, which everyone just played for the fucking sea shanties anyhow. Such a good night. Go find a sea shanty group, guy. It'll very much refill that bit of your sad, bitter little soul. Keep on keeping on until the wellerman comes and say my name, AJ. P.S. Check out their albums.

That's what I call Sea Shanties 1, and that's what I call Sea Shanties 2. Fucking great drinking night music. That rocks. I love that for multiple reasons, not least of which because I run a comedy gig at that very venue. I thought it was a familiar memory. The old Fridge and Flagon. Boy, I hope they survive.

Let's talk about them for a second. They're an interesting venue because they're, I think what's happening around, they're like this one bar surrounded by huge earthworks and basically just a gravel pit now. They're pretty close to the central city. They're not far out of town whatsoever. They're in Eden Terrace, which is sort of the inner ring just outside the CBD.

Right now, Auckland, in its infinite wisdom, has decided, you know what we should have done 100 years ago? Build some sort of metropolitan rail network to get people from Wo to go. What if we did it now on top of the city that we've already built? So our council, God bless them,

has been engaged in a lengthy and expensive and dramatic and impressive process of buying houses that are overpriced, bulldozing those houses, and then putting tunnels under them. And it's been a pretty trippy thing to watch unfold over the years. and it's been a pretty trippy thing to watch unfold over the years. And right now, Fridge and Flagon, this venue, this awesome, they're like a craft brew place that takes their beer very, very fucking seriously and apparently hosts sea shanties and definitely some choice comedy nights.

They're just sitting in the middle of this desolate, Mad Max-looking scene, and they're this one oasis of good times. And I tell you what, it makes it pretty hard to get foot traffic when you're in that situation. That's why they have so many events. It absolutely does. It's just a brutal, I don't know, circumstance is so brutal all the time, isn't it?

It's also like I think about it often when i've been going for runs during lockdown you you know like auckland is a city as many as many big cities or aspiring big cities are which feels like it's constantly under very intense infrastructure like renovations you know it's there's an ocean of orange cones and like, you know, blocked lanes. Cranes everywhere. Yeah. And it's just one of life's cruel little ironies that it's like, do you know what would be a great time to fucking get a lot of this stuff done

is when no one is allowed to commute anywhere and we're all in our houses. And do you know what is illegal while we're all in our houses and no one's allowed to commute anywhere? Working on these projects. Yeah, man. That would have been great if they could have done it right now while we're all locked down. Oh, well.

Oh, well. Cest la vie, baby. Hey, boys. No, hold on. Before you start there, pitch me a cartoon. Go. Okay. Hold on.

Before you start there, pitch me a cartoon. Go. Okay. It's about three cats who all live in the same cul-de-sac. One of them is like a pampered house cat. One of them is a stray kitten. Oh, yeah. And the other one is like a sort of, it's a very grand old cat who sort of has seen everything before and and knows the lay of the land and

the grand old cat's actually watching the neighborhood uh get gentrified perhaps like like an old deuteronomy style cat yeah and um they all like uh meet up and sing songs and shit. No, they don't sing songs and shit. Basically, the premise is the sort of launching point for the first episode and the arc of the first season is there's a lot of rough stray dogs in the neighborhood and these cats are trying to strategize how they can not eliminate but neutralize the fear of the dogs. And it sort of eventually just becomes this – there's a lot of capers. They set up all these booby traps and hilarious sort of Rube Goldberg-style

pratfalls for the dogs. But the cats have their own internal politics and problems. And, you know, there's – it's – yeah. What's it called, Guy? Cats vs. Dogs? No, it's called Cats Meow, Savior of the Cul-de-sac. I love it. You put me on the spot.

I absolutely love it. You did great. Thank you. I felt like I was under pressure. I absolutely love it. You did great. Thank you. I felt like I was under pressure.

Just for my lovely girlfriend walking up a little drive wearing a lime green shirt. Fantastic. I just haven't seen that lime green shirt for a long time and I was like, God damn. It's important to appreciate the little things in life. That's right. Now, are you ready?

Now, to the grisly business of this next email, which I know full well ahead of time without having seen it or knowing anything about it. It's going to be the worst God damn thing I've ever heard in my life. You're not. So go on, guys. It does start me with this shit.

It does start by addressing me and me alone. Your instincts are, as always, impeccable. Guy Guy wanted to finally message you regarding Norm. You were literally one of the first people I thought of when I heard the awful news. I was also quite rattled by Norm's passing. I'd first seen him on a JFL special in Montreal pre-SNL in, I think, 1990, and I've loved his work ever since.

I actually wrote a long, rambling message but then deleted it because I wasn't sure how hard his death had hit you. I, too, spent most of the last weekend in Norm's company, particularly Sunday evening when my family went out to a dinner I had to miss due to having a cold. So instead, I ate a generous dose of edibles and discovered a series of videos on YouTube that have every appearance Norm made on Letterman in order. It was incredible. Also, you might remember I messaged you that my boy Ben has gotten into watching your stand-up on YouTube and he loves your work. So I got him hooked on Norm too.

Actually, last night we even watched Hitler's Dog with him. We're not terrible parents, he's 13, but we had forgotten how much sexual audience work we're in it. Also, we just smoked weed in front of him for the first time, which was kind of weird. Maybe we are bad parents? Anyway, all this to say that i totally agree about his choice to face death on his terms and the incredible trove of comedy he left for us he was an exceptional man and the world was a better place for having a minute thanks for sharing your thoughts and memories you go right ahead and say my name and that is from chris friend of the podcast, Chris. Friend of Guy Montgomery, let's specify.

That's right. Well, I mean, I appreciate the heartfelt correspondence. I would also love to get into, Tim, what you make of this man ranking his own parenting efforts. They watched a comedy special with their 13-year-old son. I think that's pretty cool. I think that's a totally reasonable thing to do. I don't mean to be obtuse, but this is none of my business. This email was not addressed to me. I know, but it was addressed to me and I'm asking for your opinion.

Well, I shan't give it. Fair enough. not addressed to me i know but it was addressed to me and i'm asking for your opinion well i shan't give it fair enough i think i often wonder about that because i uh will often drink a beer in front of olive and not really think twice about it but i will never smoke weed in front of olive nor be stoned around or in front of olive and it's sort of an interesting point of delineation where it's like you know the reason that i'm okay with one of them is because i there's a huge amount of anti-weed propaganda that got it made illegal a long time ago and that never happened with alcohol perhaps but how much does weed affect you versus having one beer? It's a good question. Honestly, the way I smoke weed at the moment is probably roughly the same.

Get a bucket of water. Step one, get a bucket of water. Yeah, step two, cut the end off a big plastic Coca-Cola bottle. Step three, pack a cone piece with the largest amount of weed you can manage. Pack a cone piece with the largest amount of weed you can manage. Like I enjoy both of these things, but I've stripped it back to such ludicrous amounts of moderation that it's like all I really want is to feel ticklish, but also functional.

But I mean, I agree with your point. I think my inclination in terms of my physical, my chemical response to being stoned is probably I would regard myself as a less reliable parent than if I just had one beer but that's just me that's my body

I've got an email for you and we'd probably better put a pin in it after this one alright mate, alright dear Timmest no it actually says dearest Tim and Guy in the Better put a pin in it after this one, eh? All right, mate. All right. Dear Timmest. No, it actually says dearest Tim and Guy. In the before times, I was studying biology at LMU in Los Angeles. I have since had to move back home to Phoenix, Arizona.

As a junior, the thing I missed most about my college career was smoking with some friends and talking for hours. Well, the emergency episode of Death Blast prompted me to go back and finally listen to the worst idea of all time. And I'm happy to say that you boys filled that missing part of my life wonderfully. Going out into the patio to, quote, hang out with my podcast friends became a hugely comforting part of my routine. Sitting outside at 4 a.m. smoking a bowl while listening to your latest theories about Steve Buscemi or Braden the Braden the Rat King You've combined a couple of things into this Braden the Rat King is not a bad idea Powerful enemy

A warlock who has power over all rats Always brought me back To my friend's apartment in Los Angeles And I can't thank y'all enough for that 4am because I became nocturnal In order to avoid the 45 degree daytime heat. Love the current season and love y'all. Aiden Burnett, yes you can say my name.

P.S. I have since added myself to your lovely trans listenership. Say my name. Anthea Lavender Burnett. Fantastic to hear. Anthea, welcome to the listenership. We appreciate your correspondence. You've inspired me to look up LMU. Guess what the LMU stands for, Tim?

L. Learning. Yeah. M. My. You. M my U universe well I didn't actually think you'd get it

that is exactly right so hopefully either you can do online correspondence with learning my universe or you can physically get back to campus sometime soon but either way, go Tigers. By all accounts, yeah, it's an incredible university. And I'm so stoked that you're listening to us at four in the morning

while smoking a bowl. There's something so romantic about that image to me. Like, I fucking miss Los Angeles. We kind of averaged out going once a year, I reckon, for four years. And I think you'd been more often than me, guy. But it's a cool place. I love the fact that when you go in winter, it's just like a beautiful temp all the time.

And there's so much to do. And it's exciting. Tim, my friend, when you say you miss Los Angeles, I couldn't agree more. And it's like Los Angeles just represents the world at large. I miss everyone and everywhere. Right. A somewhat somber note to end the friend zone on uh yeah it is have you written any jokes

lately do you think of funny thoughts dude none i have like taken that out of my uh rotation of things to do at the moment here's what i'm up to right now feeding a bottle of breast milk to a little baby changing some nappies uh that's most of it nice it's most of it and it's all right don't mind it yeah i feel like you'd be a bloody natural at it oh thanks guy who's to say Who's to say how messed up this kid will be Remy in 30 years time Alright everybody Well This is Tim Batt

Whether you address your correspondence to me or not I love you Oh he really took that personally And I care about you I'd hasten to Wager that I care about you more than Guy does Yeah but what the I'm your real dad

What the fuck would you do Thanks for listening Keep the messages coming in We're on Facebook At the worst Saturday of all time We're on Twitter At twiwetpod We're on Patreon

We're on Tim's email Do you know the URL for the Patreon? Pardon? Do you know the URL for the Patreon pardon do you know the URL for the Patreon I think it's just twiat patreon.com forward slash twiat we're on Reddit

not that I know about that we're on Discord I'm heavily in that sub I'm actually looking at getting into reddit mainly as a lurker but every now and then if i see something you know relevant that needs my attention i'll jump in my alt account which has my name on it and reply i've made an account um under my own name to follow uh cricket fantasy football and running. But I'm thinking of expanding my interests. Good on you.

Thanks, dude. Love you, Tim. Love you, Guy. Love you, listener. Bye-bye. Anytime with Tim and Guy.