The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 137

Episode Date: November 7, 2021

The fellaz are not only in the Friendzone but also, locked down in their homes. Guy is pretty unhappy about this. Tim is also unhappy but simply because he cannot find fireworks to buy and explode. The boiz are introduced to a muppet porno, the brilliantly titled Let My Puppets Come and friend, Euan, is responsible for a two hour audio play about Sonic the Hedgehog, featuring cameos from your beloved Timbo and GuyGuy. Also - outrage from America that the pair have never mentioned that Christchurch/NZ has a WIZARD.GUY'S SPECIAL ON BANDCAMPDEATHBLART: (tilldeathdousblart.com)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. Dude, I'm in a foul mood, and you and the listeners are going to bear the brunt of it. What's going on monty i just my mics i've broken my thing as well so i'll do this and you'd regale me with um tales of your mood your foul mood i'm just over it the lockdown i think this pandemic is boring this this lockdown's the hottest thing going right now. It's got to be said, it's a privilege to find a pandemic boring, but that's where I'm at with it.

I'm just over it. I don't like what's happening. I don't like what's happening where we used to be the ones who are celebrating in the streets, maskless, restrictionless. And then now all I do is I'm just in or around my house. Old Kiwi boy getting a taste of his own medicine doesn't like it so much. You'd think because I developed the medicine it would taste good, but it doesn't. I hate it.

Well, well, well. Look who's come right round to the sensible way of thinking with me and the rest of the Joe Rogan Experience community and demanding that we reopen services and just get everyone exposed to this flu, really, when you think about it, isn't it? It's just a flu. Is Joe Rogan saying that about the world or about New Zealand?

Who fucking knows? Definitely Australia, and I'm pretty sure he heard about us at some unmentioned New Zealand tour, so you know how he goes. What a watershed moment for our country, finally. Wait, I'm fucked off too. Can I tell country finally i'm fucked off too can i tell you why i'm fucked off i'd love to hear it i'm shocked i made it back here in time to be honest i didn't think i would um i went for a big walk a big six kilometer walk what's that in the queen's miles five four don't flatter yourself four and a half don't flatter yourself

fuck you it's not four and.5 because the day we're recording is remember remember the 5th of November Guy Fawkes Day in this god damn puny ass country that we live in this little Antipodean parochial fucking backwater outpost

we have the briefest of windows to buy fireworks now, it has been whittled down over the years to i think a three-day sale period now and the real fucking kicker is our version of kmart the warehouse announced this year that they weren't going to sell fireworks and i've just literally been walking around the neighbourhood looking for some fireworks to buy and haven't found any. Guy by your face I

can tell that you know exactly where they are and I'm going to get even madder. They're like, if you walk through Sandringham shops they're about another 600 metres or less 400 metres towards my house. They're selling them outside of...

They're selling them out of a... Wait, is that the burger thing next to the school? No, it's outside a church. It's in a church car park. Just before you go through the traffic lights and hit Sandringham Road extension. There's like literally a giant... I got a hot tip on the local community facebook page that said go to the school and

there's a food truck there that sells fireworks and i walked all the way there and the food truck was there but it was shut this is a this is like a literal container they've put in a church car park with fireworks written on the front of it fuck jesus it's so close to your house i'm so sick of everybody saying that we need to ban fireworks too i'm actually forgetting is fireworks fucking rock i'm super interested in your take on this i see like i feel like it's everyone's all like oh my dog oh my baby guess what i've got a dog and a baby, and I'm still team pyro. Yeah, I love that because I know that you've taken on these life responsibilities, and it fills me with joy to be like, you know.

So my friends have dogs and babies, and they're okay with fireworks. That's how I feel. Wait, that isn't how you feel. You've just described how your friend feels how do you feel about fireworks monty i don't care what the fuck that's the worst opinion of all no it's not it's awesome i see people fight i see we're getting upset online like fireworks are king or fireworks are bad it's like you're bad the thing that's bad is not picking a side no it's that's bullshit.

You don't need to have an opinion on everything. I'm not asking you to have an opinion on everything, mate. I'm asking you about our three-day window for Guy Fawkes to commemorate a failed attempt of terrorism on Her Majesty's Parliament, and you won't even dignify it with taking a position. For God's sake. All right. I don't want to let you weasel an opinion out of me,

but I will say... There's nothing weaselly about this, mate, except your lack of having an opinion on it. I'm for fireworks. Yes, brother. Doesn't matter anyway. They're going to steamroll us, guy. We're dinosaurs.

We've got the wrong opinion. The government doesn't care about us anymore. You just led me over here to this opinion. I know. Well, guess what? The grass isn't always greener. It's going to be our last year. Yeah. I mean, look, on balance, I think way more people fucking hate them

and hate the consequences of them than derive enjoyment from them. But we don't get a lot of opportunity to injure ourselves. That's still legal these days. I just remember the buzzy. I mean, probably say it every year, the buzzy bees. You remember those? Of course. Tell me about the buzzy bees, guy.

I don't think we've talked about fireworks little local fireworks tiny airborne mobile firework you light it on fire you have no control over where it goes and it just it hisses around at about like perfect eye level for children yeah and they are so unpredictable and so hot it's just like a 300 degree roaming cascade of sparks and you don't know where it's gonna go it it's the opposite of lockdown that's the problem and you know i walked around the neighborhood last night guy and it was diwali and yeah where i live now is kind of a majority indian community this is where like the indian diaspora diaspora in auckland live and um there was so much like uh contained joy

you know like people in in fucking awesome clothes but just going to pick up takeaway and then go home again it's such horse shit man like people letting off fireworks like just on their front yard with their kid it was like oh we're so close to having a nice enjoyment of something it's just being like I'm not saying that yes he is

whatever he's about to say that he's not he is I'm not saying that we shouldn't be in lockdown I'm not saying i have a better alternative what i'm fucking saying is i'm bored out of my skull and i'm i'm just like getting sometimes now when i go for a run tim usually i'm like just enjoying my endorphin hit and having a nice time and like striding out and you know thinking my thoughts but sometimes tim now when i go for my

runs i'll see people, people I don't know, and think, I should fucking push that person into the creek. That's insane. You need to do what I did. I have a safe that I keep all my drugs in, and then I forget what I have. And I went rummaging the other day and found that I have a bunch

of magic mushrooms that I forgot about. And so I took like a third of a gram to test them out to see if they still worked. And it was such a nice day. It was like the nicest day we've had here in a long time. Just beautifully sunny. 11.30 a.m., had the mushies, and then got on an e-bike, a rented e-bike at noon, and just fucking roamed around the city for three hours. Just went down to the water, went to the city,

went around the gardens, went to the domain. The mushies still work? It was fantastic. Yeah, yeah. But who even cares? You don't even need that component to it, you know? I have been getting out of the house. You've got to spend, and this is actually probably bad advice

from a public health point of view, but spend as much time not in your house as possible, which is quite hard when presumably we're supposed to be locked down inside our houses. But, mate, fuck, cry me a river. That's what I was looking for. I'm not looking for your sympathy, Tim. I'm telling you how I'm going.

Yeah, that's fine. I want to hear from some friends. I am your fucking friend. No, no, real friends. You don't write me letters. Oh, man. I'm going to have a bad I'm a rude dude with a bad toad

You're asking for trouble We should put that on a hat Do you want me to read you a really long email Would that cheer you up? Probably not But I'm going to do it anyway Okay? Yeah Compliance? Compliance Update Slash friendzone message dear

Timmy Batson and Alexander Halifax Sorry for the long message But I've been holding off sending another letter until this moment I've finally done it It only took me two years But I've just finished listening to every episode of TWIOAT Well eat shit because we're making more. The friend zone.

You got to try and put a little smile on that dial for the next 34 minutes. And overlooked and undercooked. Every publicly released bonus episode and the episodes of Podcasting the Tree on the feed so far. I can now say with certainty that it's a good fucking podcast. You've got your hands on there, fellows of the frost. Good on ya! I do like fellows of the frost.

Like many, I accomplished this feat while in the midst of completing my PhD. Nah, just kidding. I'm not smart enough. My name's Ewan. Say my name even if it isn't. Never met a Ewan capable of finishing a PhD.

Fact. Rough. My pronouns are currently they them, but I am far from settled, so feel free to sprinkle in she, her, and he, him whenever you feel so inclined. That is a blank check on pronouns. The freedom.

This is fantastic. I've lost my place. Oh oh no i got too excited with the clicker and uh and you may remember me from a certain two-hour audio drama featuring a certain uh cerulean spiny mammal and a certain pair of frosty fellas in cameo roles. The project is now complete and public. If you would like to hear my proudest creative achievement, just type Ogilvie, that's O-G-I-L-V-I-E, into YouTube and scroll down until you see Sonic the Hedgehog nailed to a cross. I've struggled with the elevator pitch. So here's the one I used on the video transcript.

In 2019, I thought it would be funny to write the Sonic the Hedgehog movie that I would most want to see that no one would ever make. I also thought it would be funny if I then got a full cast to perform it for me. And it would be really funny if I dedicated more time and effort into making

an audio drama than anything i've ever made in my life i am genuinely very proud of that and that's the joke i've said it before but i'll say it again i'm so grateful to you boys for lending me a cameo i've attached a preview clip uh featuring one of the three scenes the fellas have throughout the run time if you want to hear the other two you'll have to listen for yourself I also want to mention something about Food Fight

the bonus episode was some time ago now so I don't know how well you guys remember the movie or still care about it but there was a moment where the two of you wistfully discussed the idea of possessing food fight merch with guy even scouring the internet hoping to procure some well funny story i was in a dollar store over the summer and what should i happen upon but a tall stack of food fight books the kind with buttons kids press that make sounds as they're reading

i was obviously interested knowing food fight by reputation and they're only a dollar each so i looked up to see what a book like that went for on ebay it went for quite a bit something to the tune of a hundred canadian dollars so long story short i now own about 20 copies of said Food Fight book which were sat in the closet not four feet from my head while I listened to your episode. Weird as still, turns out the books were still made in 2007

years before the movie itself was released, which I can track directly to a licensing deal that fell through which was mentioned on Wikipedia as well as your bonus ep, which makes them an even weirder artifact. I know you guys have talked about not having a PO box yet, so just let me know if you ever get one.

You've got two Food Fight books with your names on them. Should you ever want them, or remember what in God's name I'm talking about. What are friends for, right? There's more to this guy. It's like three other paragraphs. Don't stop. I, like many, first time I, like many, first became aware of you fellas

and your brave journey through death blot before starting the pod proper. I had binged every available death blot multiple times. I wrote in multiple emails to till death to us blot email hoping to secure my place in history with the spot on the show before finding out that the password to that email was well and truly lost after diving deeper into the well of tim and guy content i watched through the loo review and found one episode where tim excitedly exclaims, Footlocker rules! Footlocker! A Deathblight connection! And

released two years prior to the inexplicable moment in Paul Blight 2. Leaving me ample room to imply the possibility that this was in fact the origin of the battle cry. This would no doubt, I thought, make excellent fodder for an email doing just that, directed at Tim rather than the

dead Death blight email this time and the usual ironic tone of such correspondences so imagine my dismay to find the emergency lockdown episode focused on paul blart one would be a commentary track and thus have no room for emails then imagine the roller coaster of emotions when i went through the subject of uh when i went through the subject of uh when i went through when the subject of footlocker came up and tim announced that he remembered he'd received an email titled footlocker solved and sorted out on his phone then for tim to get part way through realize i was joking say this is garbage and abandon it completely alas the closest i will

ever get to the mackleroy's will forever be when Travis happily said of my email, fuck it Ah well, the chips fall where they may. Right Sorry to ramble on, live every moment, goddamn moment and love every single day you brave boys Ewan. P.S. No need to read this part if it makes it

to the friend zone Well, you'll be shocked to hear by the girthy email fired off by ewan that the uh independent self-produced sonic hedgehog audio drama runs at a tight two hours and nine minutes on youtube and it's um it's got pretty healthy numbers, 3,828 views, 133 people are into it. Hell yeah, dude.

Well done. I'm going to write a note right now that we put a YouTube link in the notes. So if you're watching on a computer and you didn't want to watch a two-hour fan-made Sonic the Hedgehog movie, have at it. This is an attached audio file. That's the teaser. That's us in the Sonic audio drama.

Yeah, I guess it is. I guess it is. Well, Ewan, I remember everything you're talking about. I remember Food Fight. I remember your email um i do apologize for so rudely curtailing it but it felt very you started talking about the loo review and no one knows what that is except for guy and me so it didn't feel like it was sort of a good use of death blight time you know people would have just been confused and and angry at such an obscure reference that they didn't understand so that's

why i sort of cut that short so apologies for for that. But I'm very excited to, I don't know if I watched the entirety of the Sonic the Hedgehog thing at a girthy two hours and nine minutes, but I'll have a little look into that. Dip in, dip out. Sounds incredible. I think we all should. We all need to contribute to the numbers.

Yeah, man. Life's a game of fricking numbers. Just stay in your house. You either try and get your own numbers up or you bolster other people's numbers. But basically it comes down to a bunch of ones and twos. And human interaction and connection is worthless. It's all about the algorithm.

Yeah, that's so true, Guy. That's just so true. Surrender to the algorithm. Don't fight it. Thanks for consuming all of the content, though, Ewan. Isn't that nice to have someone get to the end of everything and go, hey, this was good. That is very sweet.

Hey, Guy, I recall a while back you were talking about watching a lot of reality TV during lockdown. Have you ever seen the Joe Schmoe show? It seems right up your ally. That's right. I misread your stupid typo. Oh, man. It's a big brother ripoff, but the twist is everyone on the show

is an improv actor except one dude. The game and drama are all planned in advance and get increasingly more insane as the show goes on. All six or eight episodes are on YouTube. Fuck, that sounds fun and high concept. Tim, I asked you months ago if I could buy a copy of The Best Host Full-Time, to which you promptly replied, but I forgot that I had asked and didn't see your reply

until just the other day. Is the link still available through the site? Yes, I think so. If I've approved you, I think I need to click approve on something. I can't remember. I haven't done it in a hot minute. So proud of you guys for finishing another season. Love you both and can't wait for what's next.

Jake. Thanks, Jake. Joe Schmosho does ring a bell. Have you seen it, Guy? No,moe show does ring a bell have you seen it guy no but that premise does ring a bell it's because there was a version of it there was a new zealand reality show during like the in our reality tv pomp when julie christie was just pumping out television programs and it was like average maybe it's called average joe or regular guy or and it was like average, maybe it's called Average Joe or Regular Guy, but it was a reality show where it was one person and they weren't all improv actors.

They were like New Zealand thespians and it was a guy and he lived in a house and they all had to try and like fuck him up. It was the Truman Show basically where only one person wasn't in on it and everyone else was acting as a contestant. It's pretty intense. It's kind of like psychological warfare,

especially if it's like, as it's presented in this description of the Joe Schmoe Show, if you're upping the stakes, because you become more and more unmoored from your ordinary reality the longer that you'd be in that situation. It's pretty intense. I don't think it works for um kiwis because we're too

chill about everything it'd just be boring watch you get to the bit where he finds out that everyone else is an actor be like oh yeah but yeah the drama would be in like watching a new zealander on camera suppress their real response to something so that they could continue to appear laid back and casual this is so good so I don't know oh this is the first season which was in 2003 of the Joe Schmo show they've got 10 characters I think

it is and they're all archetypes of reality TV so there was the bitch, the bachelor, the stalker, the moron, the weeper, the air, the gotta be gay guy, the stalker, the moron, the weeper, the air, the gotta-be-gay guy, the bachelorette, the drunk, the player, the schmo-turned-actress, and the pompous host.

Sick. Good shit. I'm looking it up now. Someone's up. Oh, cool. Okay. Then season two was the buddy, the overachieving Asian, the ex-con, the model, the Then season two was The Buddy, The Overachieving Asian,

The Ex-Con, The Model, The Deaf Girl, and The Interpreter, The Black Guy, The Celebrity, The Asshole, The Widow, The Bounty Hunter, and The Trophy Wife. Joe Schmoe's show sounds like it's aged perfectly. Yes, like a fine wine. As all historical reality TV shows are guaranteed to do. You got some... Farm capsules.

Impervious to the ill effects of a changing culture. That's right. You got anything for me, big boy? You want another email, guy? If you got one. This one says, Friendzone? Paul Blart was right.

That's the subject line. Interesting. You might want to sit on this until death, Blart was right. That's the subject line. Interesting. You might want to sit on this until Death Blart rolls around, but it could also make decent friendzone fighter as well. It appears that the tech in Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 was actually ahead of its time. I've still never watched the movie, but I have heard every Death Blart,

and the laptop in this article is exactly what I've pictured when you boys have described the multi-screen abominations in PBMC2. Have a look. Say my name, Jonathan from Alabama. And we've got a link to the Aurora 7, which is a 26-pound laptop with seven displays. Quickly, Guy, how many kgs is 26 pounds it's 26 pounds i guess it's like 12 kilos

did you guess or did you google i guessed okay cool i don't i'm not going to verify that um that sounds right do you know how i how i ran that i think you set it into your phone no no no i oh how you did the math yeah how uh because i know that like sometimes when i watch the or historically when i've watched nfl or follow nfl they'll be like this lineman weighs 300 pounds and the linemen are big big boys and i'll be like all right and you always want to be able to equate that to sort of new zealand sporting terms and it was always like maybe 140 maybe it seems so big maybe 120 like 112 it's not it's not it's it's it's more than double but it's you know anyway who cares it anyway. Who cares? It's in that vicinity.

Yeah. I'm actually going to look that up, 300 pounds. Oh, I thought you meant the laptop, because I'm looking at the laptop and it looks fucking awesome. 300 pounds is 136 kilos. 136. So are there people who are rocking around as bona fide professional athletes

weighing that amount. Hell yeah, dude. Shit, man. It's intense. Yeah. Try saying that to them. This thing's got two normal laptop screens, like one on top of the other, just normal widescreen.

And then it's got two more glued to the sides, which go on the other orientations. They're like in portrait. And then above both of those portrait ones are like two more glued to the sides which go on the other orientations they're like in portrait and then above both of those portrait ones are like two more little screens like little seven inch screens on top that flip up would you like a work of art what's that do you like it to have it yeah yeah yeah i want this to be my daily driver i'm to be walking around with a 12 kg laptop that's got seven. Imagine being at Starbucks and just seeing someone on there.

What are they doing? I would love that. I always see people demonstrating multi-screen setups with share trading. I'm not convinced you need lots of screens for that. Yeah, man. I got one for you from our tweeter, from our Twiowet pod. Hey. Not to be confused with our subwoofer.

Tim and Guy. Yeah. Just Tim and Guy. Nothing fancy. If you read this on the friend zone, maybe don't say my name. Anyway. Maybe we will. Maybe we won't.

Maybe a little mistake gets made. Maybe we bl say my name. Anyway. Maybe we will. Maybe we won't. Maybe a little mistake gets made. Maybe we blurt it out. Yeah. In the most recent episode of the pod, this is a while ago, you talked about people being judged on their orgasming. That reminded me of the first time I went to see a midnight screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show way back in my college days. They knew I was a virgin and was brought on stage.

Guy did air quotes for the listener. The air quotes were written. Well, then, for the listener, the air quotes were written, performed by Guy. I think even without you saying it, I actually think I'd communicated them orally. My bad. No, no, it was good.

And I was brought on stage with the other first-timers, and we all had to fake an orgasm on stage in front of the sold out show. It was all... Oh, virgin to the Rocky Horopetra show, not to sex. It's not... That's what I'm inferring. No, I inferred virgin. I was a virgin when I arrived at university

and it was my deepest, darkest shame. Come on, man. I know. Ridiculous. It's going to be okay. Yeah. It was all very embarrassing, but I said, fuck it, and really went for it. The crowd seemed to enjoy my performance.

Anyway, I don't really have a good wrap-up for the story. You just reminded me of it. This is the difference between a message via email and a message via Twitter. A message via email is like someone taking out their inkwell and quill and putting it to paper, having a good think, and getting some prose down on a bit of... Yeah, dude.

That's all the emails I send, certainly. They're prose and well thought out. But a DM on Twitter, it's like an errant thought roaming through your head that you just blurt out. Okay, Tim, I just wanted a quick bit of word association with you. I'll finish this message first and then I'll do word association. This certainly has been a memorable season. Can't wait to see what you boys do next.

I know it'll be great. Beautiful message. Okay, Tim. You know what to see what you boys do next. I know it'll be great. Beautiful message. Okay, Tim. You know what we're doing next? Lockdown, baby. Okay, Tim. Here's a word for you. Vacuum. Suck. Lightbulb.

Electricity. Sending an email. Typewriter. Receiving an email, typewriter, receiving an email. Yay. Really? That's what I was building towards. Really?

You like receiving emails? Not normally, no. It's a great day when none come in. Yeah, that yay really caught me off guard. Me too. I think you really got into my subconscious there Guy Montgomery Fun to do a little word association Dear Tit and Lie

I don't know if it was your podcast that I heard someone suggest a puppet porno I was binge listening a lot of podcasts at work And the job is so monotonous that it started to melt together Anyway, while I was listening to that convo The podcast at work and the job is so monotonous that it started to melt together. Anyway, while I was listening to that convo, I was suddenly reminded of a film from 1976 called Let My Puppets Come. I saw this film in December. That is such a good title for a movie.

Of 2019 as part of a marathon of, quote, mind-melting films. My local arthouse theatre was showing for charity thus i had the infinite displeasure to watch this film on the not so big but still relatively larger than the average tv screen screen the film is about three chief executives of creative concept systems and procedures brothers unlimited inc played by puppets, of course. Finding themselves in hot water when their latest project flopped, and they need to pay back their mafia investor half a million dollars within 24 hours. A shifty courier who was just visiting the place suggests that they should make a porno to make their money back. Which is what they set out to do.

The title is a play on the musical Let My People Come, a sexual musical from 1974. That's why the film itself is also a musical. The film itself was directed by Gerard Damiano. Damiano? Damiano. A name that probably doesn't say much to you, obviously. Yet, he was the director of the infamous porno film, Deep Throat.

Interesting to note was that one of the composers of this film was Alan Silvestri. How do you say it, Guy? Not. Silvestri. Surely not Elaine Siritsky. No. Well, Guy? Not. Savitsky. Surely not Elaine Saritsky. No. Well, this is Alan. Sounds like a similar name for maybe a different person.

Hey, this movie sounds fucking awesome. Yeah, go on. Should we watch it? Do you want to go off? Why not? Why not? If you don't know who that is, allow me to include some of the films that he composed back to the future the trilogy flight of the navigator predators one and two who frame roger

rabbit forrest gump stewart little one stewart little two castaway polar express i make this film sound more fun than it is. It is not. There's a kind of 70s sleaze to it, and it's more cringy than fun. Anyway, I wish you well in your further endeavors within the pornographic media, and hope that they will give you boys ample frosting, if you know what I mean. Greetings from Belgium. Say my name, you cowards. You absolute fucking wankers, you.

Yarny that guy's emphasis on the yeah that guy's got my energy Van Voren I loved it

Guy have you seen Flight of the Navigator because weirdly I was listening to the soundtrack very recently no I've not but I'm on the

guy's wiki Alan Silvestri that's how you'd say I got confused because I thought it was like Elaine Soretta So I started melding them together And I don't even know how to say his name confidently Understandably

He sounds like the movie's bad But it's just like So deep in the middle of what we've been studying I actually could play a little Flight of the Navigator While you tell me about Let My Puppets Come because I feel like you've got that information roughly to hand. You're getting pretty enthused.

There's not a lot more to it than what's been said. 1976 pornographic film. All the sex scenes in the film are between puppets or puppets on human. Puppets on human puppets on human yeah it was released the same year as the Muppet Show being referred to as a sexy Muppet movie

it's a sexy hey think of the Muppets now think sexy Robert Fershing of All Movie called the film lighthearted, noting that the director uses the novelty of a cast consisting mostly of Muppet-style marionettes, while remarking that the plot is a standard one of producers trying to create a film that will bring attention to their studio.

He concludes, Damiano keeps the style breezy and charming enough that the film is unlikely to offend many potential viewers. It's just a funny title. All right, guide. Um, don't talk for a moment cause you're on the same track as the music. I'm going to play some of the,

the main theme. Okay. From flight of the navigator. I'm going to skip forward. Maybe. Oh no, it starts good. What do you think, Guy? A soaring 80s film score?

Did you listen to this when you were biking around on mushrooms should have though i love stuff that really um you know i love the cinematic scope of movie scores i like feeling like the protagonist of life, which I guess in my own life I am. This one's called Robot Romp. This one's got the most plays on Spotify. Man, these old synths were fucking awesome oh fuck oh weirdly do you know who's in this movie, guys?

Who? Samuel L? I was thinking. Oh, shit, sorry, I turned down your voice. Now I couldn't hear you. What? Samuel L? No, Sarah Jessica Parker.

Oh, nice. I reckon one of her very first movies. It's got to be. One of her breakout roles. Yeah. Frosty Fellas. Hello. You need to explain this Wizard of Christchurch thing to us poor Americans. It's an absolute travesty that this man has lost his job.

And I would wager there's a greater crime against the world than... Wow. Are we in the middle of a message or are we done? No, we're still going. A greater crime against the world than the Holocaust, it says. Oh, well, look, I don't know about all that. Yeah. Yeah, well, no, Guy, please, let's dwell

on that line. Let's stop down everything and just focus a lot on that. At your insistence, I was going to move on. Was this man's role in existence common knowledge amongst you boys this whole time, and it somehow never made its way onto the pot? He

moves on in the next one, so we'll pause here to talk about the wizard of christ church sure a famous figure um do you know what we were both aware of him the whole time we've been podcasting the whole time we've been alive pretty much because we grew up in christ church where he's from but he officially was i think he was like detitled, but he became the official wizard of New Zealand. Yeah. And it is interesting, I guess, that it wasn't unusual to us. It was just like an old guy with a beard and a cloak who was the wizard. He was cool, though.

He used to like when Christchurch would go through a drought, he would do a rain dance. And he used to, from memory, every time there was a census, I think he would do a rain dance and um he used to from memory every time there was a census i think he would like go out into international waters because he didn't want to be counted yeah because he's not a person he's a wizard he would do that there was this big gimmick but then uh guy williams spotlighted him on new zealand today yes and um our friend our friend made a um fantastic tv show where he's basically just highlighting all of these great Kiwi characters, some of which you know

and some of which you don't. And, yeah, the Christchurch Wizard is a great figure to maybe see in a photograph or happen upon in Cathedral Square and then be on your way. But maybe you don't want to hang around and have a lengthy discussion about cancel culture with him. Yeah, you don't want to know what he thinks. But as a concept, it's fun.

Anyway, this grifter did very well to wrangle. I think he was getting $16,000 a year out of Christchurch City Council. Well, I never. The amount of value that he brought to Christchurch in the form of tourism, I reckon, would have paid for that. Do you think people were going there because of the wizard? I think it was iconic.

It's a package. You don't go to Christchurch for everything. You go to Christchurch for all of it. You don't go for the casino or the wizard. You go for the casino and the wizard. Yeah. Isn't marketing interesting? Like tourism marketing like that

where it's like you're not going to go for the wizard but when you're thinking about a place to go and you're like oh that's right and they have this novel thing it's a package deal gondola why would you go to christchurch gondola wizard casino avon yeah littleton is probably one of the big draws now Not in Christchurch Littleton's in Christchurch Is it? I thought Littleton was like its own It's not Christchurch because it's Littleton

It's its own thing Yeah, but Littleton, if you don't come from New Zealand Or maybe just haven't been to the South Island Is a beautiful little port settlement That's way up on a kind of cliff. So you look down onto these big shipyards, and it's become a real hotbed of artistry and craftsmanship. And I imagine, I'm just guessing, probably anti-vax sentiment.

Yeah. I did a show down there earlier this year, actually, and had a chat to the venue owner who his son was, I think, a big user of the internet, and it got him into some pretty interesting theories about how the world worked. I met that son. I did a show there as well. And he was a really

good guy. But we kept it light. Yeah. We kept it super light. He's got it sound and light. The message continues. I've listened since season one but I've only now commented because this news has been earth shattering for me.

Loved podcasting a tree and I will sometimes go back to listen to episodes of Grown Ups 2 for some nostalgic giggles. You boys make my week every time a new episode drops, no matter the content, so keep them coming. Your dynamic is just so fun to listen to. Best. A loving but confused American.

Aw, isn't that a sweet guy? It is. You're nice. It's the dynamic that does it. I'm going to read the final email I'll be reading on this podcast. Okay. It says, Dear Timbo

and Guy Guy, thought you might be interested to see this article that popped into my recommended news feed this morning. And Guy, there's an attached picture here. There's three things. I want you to imagine this in your head. In fact, Guy, close your eyes. Yeah, good.

You already did it. So think of a square. And in the square, cut it in half, like horizontal line. The bottom half is text. The top half is two images taking up equal space. On the left, a profile of Jeff Bezos. On the right, a rocket ship taking off, launching. Fire coming out the back of it.

The headline, more than 41,000 people have signed petitions to stop Jeff Bezos from returning to Earth after his trip to space next month. Smaller text under the headline, Two petitions aiming to prevent the Amazon CEO's re-entry to Earth after his Blue Origin spaceflight have collected thousands of signatures in only 10 days. The email continues, Guy. You may open your eyes if you wish. An alternative to riding in the shuttle yourselves with the knife has presented itself. Time to put your not insignificant weight behind this very promising petition, and he'll just have to live on the moon or something. I'd also be interested to hear your feedback regarding the last article I sent about a town in New Hampshire, probably New Hampshire, from which I'm sure your one libertarian listener must hail.

I think I'm caught up on the friendzone apps, but I may have missed it. Go ahead. I'll go ahead and send it anyway, just in case. Just a note for you, Guy, and for the listener, a little timestamp for you. This was sent at 8.43 in the morning, New Zealand local time,

on June 21. And this is the town that went feral when a group of libertarians set about scrapping their local government. Chaos descended and then the bears moved in. We did get that article at the time. Yeah, I remember that. That's pretty good. P.S. I've recommended

your podcast to my dad, who is mildly surprised not to have heard of you already since he knows several people on the busker side of things at the Melbourne Comedy Festival Are you familiar with the sword swallowing act Tom Selectomi? Are you going? No

Selectomi? Or by his given name Jeff Cobb He's been down your way a handful of times over the years, but he's been taking a break due to an injury in 2017. I would like to know what injury the sword swallower received. Dear emailer, if you wouldn't mind parting with that information. I couldn't agree more.

But we do not know this person. I don't know any sword swallowers, in fact. I need to broaden my horizons, get out more. Don't be too hard on yourself Tim they're hard to come by now shall we end it there or shall I read one last thing

I want you to read two more two more yes alright this must have been suggested before but I'd love for you to watch and review your favorite movie every week for a year at first glance it seems like a treat but would it eventually turn sour as you come to resent and even hate something formerly precious

further and perhaps permanently warping your perspective? Or maybe you'd continue to find hidden details that further enrich the movie and deepen your appreciation. Either way, seems like a natural variation on the theme of the podcast. I'd put that in my ear holes. Thanks and keep up the good work. You have my blessing to say my name. Ranger Shorker.

Ranger is such a cool name. I would never think of as a name What movie would you pick, Guy? Because I don't have a favourite film No, neither do I Do you know what? Maybe I do There's a movie that always pops to the top of my mind

When I think about a movie I would like to watch Austin Powers 2 Great movie, but noin powers goldfinger i mean member uh slightly worse but still fantastic movie and no oh what and glorious three bastards gotcha i love them i often like re-watch the opening scene where Christoph Waltz goes to visit the milk farmer and he's in the

kitchen and there are the people hiding underneath the floorboards and he's like that is such a powerhouse of acting that movie I've never seen it Guy and I can distinctly remember starting it at one point and for some reason not finishing it and I don't know why. That's incredible to me.

I mean, it's like I haven't watched it for several years, but my memory is always of a fun, like... No, Nazis have actually been cancelled now, Guy. We're against them. The movie is also against Nazis. Oh, okay. It's one of the few non-pro-Nazi movies. I thought this was Tarantino's parade of pro-Nazi sentiment.

So I'm glad to be proved wrong on that, glad to be corrected. Yeah. Don't you go trying that again. And for me, well, I'd have to say Flight of the Navigator due to recency bias. It's up on my screen on Spotify. I don't know. I genuinely, I don't really have a favorite movie.

What's the movie that comes to your mind, though? Well, the one that comes to my mind is Interstellar, but it's one of those ones where I think I really love it, and then I go to watch it again, and I'm like, ah, this is fucking long and kind of, like, boring. I just really love the soundtrack. Yeah. And I enjoyed it the first time the maybe the first couple times but it's not a great one for re-watchability um

even like i watched the first matrix again recently because i tried to watch the whole trilogy to get ready for four coming out later this year. Yeah. And you know, I, I, I fight people. I have been known to fight people over the years trying to say that the two and three aren't so bad.

I fucking suck, man. Yeah. And what do you think? Are you looking forward to four? Yeah. Yeah. Big time for was exciting.

Why is that a suggest that four won't suck like two and three? Well, because it's so confusing as to what the heck is going on Because, you know, Neo and Trinity Well, I'm sorry to spoil this for anyone who hasn't seen it But they big time carked it in the third one So, like, what's going on now? Kano Reeves has had a good career, eh? Yeah Yeah, he hasves has had a good career, eh? Yeah.

Yeah, he has. He's had a good run. Yeah. Indeservedly so. One of the only times I did VR, I played the John Wick game. What? It's a John Wick VR game? It was so intense.

Holy shit. I was just on a boat and I just couldn't stop shooting Mafia guys. Oh, you're on a boat in the game? Yeah. I thought part of the story was, okay, so I'm on a boat. There's a VR headset all set up. Nah, dog. Hey, let's fucking put a pin in it.

By the way. I got a question for you before you go, though, guy. Could you see yourself getting into VR like in a big way? Do you know actually a VR? Like I've thought about buying a gaming console this lockdown and I think VR would be a pretty powerful way to go. Honestly, travel is going to be funneled through VR. So I think I can see myself getting into VR.

You're a metaverse guy? Are you like looking at, you're fucking... Oh, you remember what the Zuck launched? Yeah, man. That looks awesome. He's just getting on board. That's a guy who understands what people want. He didn't create anything.

And also what they want to think about. People don't want to think about the past. They want to think about, you know, the blood or political responsibility that's on Facebook's hands. Facebook's gone, baby. It's meta all the way down now. No, it's meta at the top.

But Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram still have their own names. Pillars. Pillars of the meta community. Anyway, we're straying dangerously into territory of another intellectual product of ours. They're all intellectual products. Yeah. And I'm using intellectual as an adjective to describe the heady and intelligent nature

of everything we make, Guy. We're intelligent and we're heady. I just wanted to give myself a plug. Is that okay with you? Could you do it on your own time and not on the pod? You don't want to see me put this thing up my anus? No, I'll allow it. What have you got to plug, Monty?

Look, I released my comedy show from this year onto Bandcamp. Listen. What is this tone? And it's called Guy Montgomery by name, Guy Montgomery by nature. You're selling a comedy special. You've got to put a little fucking showbiz razzmatazz in there. I was so fucking funny in May. I literally did the funniest show I've done in my life.

But now it's November, and I've been in my house since September. That is a distant memory. But if you want to experience me. Hey, wake this man up when September. Oh, fuck, wait. It's the wrong month. Yeah. If you want to experience me in a totally different frame of mind,

go on Bandcamp, search Guy Montgomery, and buy. And do you know what I found, actually, when I was researching how easy it is to find on Bandcamp? What? That fantastic cut down of our first season done by Brett in LA is still available to buy on Bandcamp. Yeah. We'd still get kickbacks from that, mate.

That's in your bloody royalty check. Go buy it. The friendzone, you're always home. The friendzone, you're not alone. Anytime with Tim and Guy.