The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 137.5

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Woops, forgot to upload this Friendzone so it's a little late AND a little out of order, ah well! Let's go back in time to when Tim and Guy were in the nervous nineties of Auckland's lockdown. While the malaise has set in, Guy is treating this as an opportunity to reach for the stars and hopes that the city can spend 100 days in their houses to bring up a new high score (spoiler: They did). Tim regales Guy with his most recent experience donating blood where everything did not quite go to plan. This in turn prompts Guy to recall his own similar (albeit very different) experience and the possibility of a new nickname for the fellas.From our friends, we learn, love and grow. We travel even further back in time to the land of We Are Your Friends, where nicknames and fan theories abound. And the lads talk about what might be next on the Worst Idea stream and let's just say, it's for a good cause! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. Guy, it's been a minute. It's been about, what's 12 times 60? Hmm. 720. Yeah, nice. You beat me to it. It's been about 720 of the suckers.

What are the suckers? Minutes? Yeah, minutes of suckers. Minutes of four suckers. I see. Yeah, I mean, you're right. We were just together doing the director's commentary for on her majesty's secret service a movie that rocks yeah a movie that really rocked

and it's um i mean i i actually haven't looked up a lot of it but i understand generally it's panned and you know lays and bees are one a one-time wonder as a bond, which I think feels unfair, but it sort of speaks to, like, even back then, the immediacy of takes, you know, and how poorly they often age. You don't need to know exactly how you feel about everything right as it happens. You can process. Yeah, yeah.

Yes, you're of course correct. I do try to be. And also, you should course correct because instead of making a wider point about the state of takes in the current attention economy, let's just put it out there. You should watch

On Her Majesty's Secret Service. It came out in 1969. The internet loves that number. And I love seeing an Australian swimsuit model wearing a kilt and a ruffled cravat at the same time while in disguise. Yeah, it's a long two-hour, 20, beautiful, ornate movie with a lot of fun action sequences.

Great soundtrack. A lot of beautiful women who have various different allergies. And, you know, if you want to hear more, not from us, but from the producer and director of the film, then please check out the director's commentary. The director's commentary, we've got legendary Bond franchise kind of creator for the cinema, Cubby Broccoli, Albert Broccoli.

The great Cubby Broccoli. Who I believe might be dead. And the definite ghost of Peter R. Hunt, who's the one-time director of that movie. But anyway, that's on the stream. You've probably already heard it, to be honest, if you're listening to this. In fact, I'd say you definitely have.

If you listen to the Friendzones, you gobbled that up for sure but we enjoyed doing it it was fun it was fun it's yeah we'd speculated a bit about it not on on mike but amongst ourselves about what a unique experience it is for us to sit down and well i suppose enjoy a movie yeah fucking wild absolutely wild so guy friend zone uh my friend we're still in lockdown this just in the fucking dudes are still in their houses communicating via the internet once again and um in cricket tim there's uh obviously a century is a huge achievement if you bring up 100 runs that is a feat of concentration and coordination. It's so cool they call it a ton. And there's a known period, as you might be inching your way towards a century,

called the nervous 90s. Oh, yeah. And when you get into the 90s, the magnitude of what you're working towards and the idea that you might actually tick off this milestone can start playing tricks on your head. And we here in Auckland, we've just broached the nervous 90s. We're on the 91st day of our lockdown, and I hope we can cautiously and tentatively raise the bat.

I didn't realize what day along we were. It uh it's quite a lot eh how does it make you feel anything um do you know i've very consciously been trying to like not think about it fair enough because like it's i think it's well it's not going to change either way you know my thinking about it isn't going to affect the fact that i'm in it. So I think the best course of action is just to ignore it. Not in a way where I'm breaking the rules, but just in a way where I'm not constantly turning it over in my head. I totally agree. But I just think, you know, God willing,

we're not going to score this many runs again. So part of me really wants us to bring to bring up the hundred and then um get out the next ball trying to trying to do a hundred days that's a really funny goal for us to start adopting everyone's losing their fucking minds and talking about how the economy's going down the fucking gurgle and you're like no way baby we've got to get to triple digits i just genuinely feel like we've made it so far it would be a shame for it to be spoiled by being let out of the house early if we what's the hold on we can work this out dude i reckon if it's the date that everyone says it's going to be oh you see it's nice oh yeah we will we'll be at like 104 something like

that 103 104 nothing wrong with 104 it's a high score for a lot of people. It's also weird because I guess for our listener who's presumably in America, we've sort of... And libertarian, so absolutely dog about what our government's doing to us. We've sort of time travelled. In New Zealand, it's like we started enjoying all of the liberties

of being COVID free a long time ago and then now... We didn't get like a million of them, but we did get a few messages of people being like, you fuckers need to stop mentioning the fact that we're in lockdown and you're not in lockdown. And I'm like, that is absolutely fair enough. But guess what?

The fellas have given themselves a healthy taste of their own medicine. Yeah. And we do not love it. It's strong. I'll tell you that about the medicine. It's a powerful brew. But I've been itching to get on the friend zone. It has been quite a while.

Apologies for that. I'm raising a baby over here, guys. There's a few balls in the air. I've also had to take on a little bit. Well, I haven't had to. I've chosen to take on a little bit of contract work, which has been interesting. How is that for you? Yeah, it's all good.

It's good to use the brain, to be honest. You know, like I've been in a very low gear, not being able to do stand-up and put on shows and organise people to do them and stuff. So it's good to engage the brain. Do you find, can I, I know that you're trying to wind into something. I am winding to a cool anecdote which I reckon you can guess

which one it is, but yeah. Well, it's just, I feel like I'm so much more disciplined when it's other people's work. Like it's so much easier to turn your brain on

and actually power up when there's anyone else for a line, Tony, then it's like, well, I would love to write a joke. I'll do that in 90 days from now when I'm still in my house.

100%. So anyway, as you were. If only you could like pretend that you, and I think I've read this online for a little like fucking life hacky, you know, Tony Robbins things. Treat your future self as if it is a different person like it's a friend of yours and you're doing them a favor yeah you know try and get into the click into there's a great jerry seinfeld bit which inverts that premise which is like ah that's future guy's problem

i had a great bit many years ago about this about how saving money is you giving your money to a stranger that you'll never meet so why the fuck would you do it it's irresponsible it's a good bit bring it back what was a good bring back the bits i completely forgot about that but and then i was doing a uh i think it was a charity um gig with um tavita manikia it's a fantastic kiwi comedian and he was like you should do the money bit tonight. And I was like, oh, man, I can't even remember how that goes. And he did the bit.

He did my bit to me. Wow. Which is so gratifying. Yes. We had a barbecue recently, which you were at, Guy. And walkout boy, Joseph Moore, was there. And he is like an encyclopedia for New Zealand comedians old jokes and we just started using him like a jukebox truly he teched at the comedy club in Auckland for like in his uh for

two years or so in his early 20s and has literally just retained not just the material but the performance ticks of the comedians doing it his memory is incredible as well like he's so good with that stuff he remembers a lot of my jokes that i don't i can't recall anymore i never wrote down so it's actually you should sit down with him and compile the greatest hits and tour it film it sell it make a million dollars change the world guy here's what's. Since last we were on the friend zone, I went in to give blood for the first time in ages. And I think it's been a long time between drinks. I can't remember for sure if it was last time, but I think it was. The last time, which was about a year and a half ago,

I went and gave blood. I fainted mid thing. Oh. It was quite shit because it was one of was uh one of the like mobile centers where they come in to a church and they sort of take it over and set it all up which is fine but um they were real kind of loose and the nurses like set me up and then kind of walked away and the little machine started beeping i was like i wonder what that beep is i'm sure it's fine if you know no one's paying much attention to it and then like came very close to blacking out because my um my

blood pressure had gotten too low i was like oh well that probably won't happen again so then about less than a week ago i i go in for the first time in 18 months to um go and give blood and uh all's well, all's going totally fine. Everyone is slick and professional. It's in the main center in Epsom where there's like a, it's the permanent New Zealand blood service building and sit down in the chair,

all fine. Needle goes in, no walkers, find the vein. I've got great bloody, she called them excellent looking veins. You know, I'll bet you say that she called them excellent looking veins. You know, I've got some veiny arms. I'll bet you say that to all the donors.

Exactly. And then maybe I'd say about something between five and ten minutes into the blood coming out of me, the nurse comes over and she's like, you doing all right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm cool. I feel a little bit weird. And then blackout. Last thing you got out cool i feel a little bit weird and then black out like last thing you got out was a little bit weird yeah i got out i feel a little bit weird and then like immediately as i got to the end of the sentence just boom gone and then

i don't know how long i was out for but i don't think it was very long come to and there's like all these people leaning over me and it's quite a i was telling zoe and she was like yeah i actually think you had a seizure i don't think that was fainting um seizures apparently not always as big a deal as they're made out to be but i'm speaking to a man who's had a seizure himself yeah yeah sometimes just the the body trying to get you to go horizontal so you get more blood flow to your brain, which is what she suspects happened this time. But, like, when you're coming to out of there and people are like, are you okay, are you okay?

But for, I don't know, five seconds maybe, like I couldn't comprehend what words were and I didn't know how to, like, communicate back out. And it was very, it was quite a freaky feeling. Were you trying to use words? Yeah Trying to Well A trying to make sense

Of what was being said to me And then also trying to sort of like communicate Back out to the world But it was impossible Because your brain kind of torpedoes Your perception of time in this situation as well So did that feel long enough That you suddenly became concerned

that you you'd lost faculty of speech yeah definitely yeah but like then you can't even sort of articulate that because you've lost your ability to sort of use language even in a monologue so it's just kind of a feeling of a little bit panicky not great but then it you know it went immediately um and then uh everyone was like oh man you're okay and they put the screens around you real fucking quick when you pass out in the blood donation center because they do not want you to freak other people out so they put the screens up and then um this uh this lovely nurse kept telling me she was like oh don't worry this happens about six or seven times a day we do about 100 donations across the day this this happens about you know six or seven times and uh i was like oh okay sweet and

i was like man i've i've i feel so like sweaty like i've got such a a damp brow and like i just feel so sweaty and then um they all kind of checked i was okay and and the other ones left and then the main nurse was like okay i'll go and go and get you some orange juice and a Kit Kat to sort of bring you back to her. And I was like, yeah, cool. And then I was like, oh, man, did I piss myself? And so I looked up at my pants and I had, in fact, pissed my pants while I blacked out on this goddamn blood donation table oh and like how everyone presumably was aware yeah yeah totally but it wasn't like an almighty piss but you know i had loaded up on water so much because that's what they tell you to do going in

so the big full bladder and uh just blacked out and my body at its first opportunity was like all right we can relax everything i'll bet anything you are on some sort of anonymous nurses um message board right now on the you know the wall of piss oh man truck me on there you're proud to be a participant you You put it on Instagram and you described it and there was that photo of you sort of at the place. This is too funny. This is a bit. And then you swipe and there's just a photo of your pissy pants

and it really pushed me over the edge. Wet patch on my pants where I had pissed myself after having a seizure but part of it is because i mean a very funny thing to have happened but b um that does not happen often at all you pissing yourself uh that definitely doesn't happen very often but people like passing out or having adverse reactions is very rare but giving blood is so important so if you if you can you should apparently it might not be for me so i might look into giving plasma really forcing the issue well you know one time you're like oh yeah bloody that's fine that probably won't happen again but But two, you're like, okay, maybe it's a pattern. And I'm a wee boy guy.

I'm a little man. You've got those big veins. Big juicy veins. Yeah. But not enough body weight to get that blood pumping. But plasma apparently is where it's at because that doesn't fuck you up as bad, but it takes longer. I love me some plasma.

What does that reckon now? We can be the seizure boys because I think we've both had seizures. Yeah. Well, I think they're funny stories to teach them. I've told your story previously and I think it's really funny. I hope you do too. I think it's funny too.

Yeah. I told that story on Australian television and they got complaints that I was making fun of seizures. That's funny. It's funny when you say your speaker story about something that happened to you and people get offended by it. But it's my seizure.

Anyhow, we have correspondence from the various identities assumed by our one libertarian listener. He is a clever clogs. He is. This one here I received on Twitter at twiwapod, and it's quite beautiful. It just says this.

Hey, I just want to say your podcast makes me feel at home wherever I am, which is big for me because anxiety. It's also one of my inspirations for my own podcast, Byte, spelled B-Y-T-E, Marks, M-A-R-X. Just thank you for everything. That's it. That's the whole message.

I want to know what Byte Marks is about. They say home is where the pod is, and with modern technology, it can be anywhere. Who says that? I just made it up. Oh, you got me. I'll tell you a little bit about Bite Marks,

a podcast by gamers for gamers, but about politics. Bite Marks is a podcast about examining games from a political perspective and looking at how politics and video games affects its players and world around it. Our libertarian listeners are going to fucking hate this. This is some south loathing Making this and putting it out into the world Letting us know

Me on the other hand, I'm kind of interested in it That does sound like you This is the one on NPR, yeah? I'd already closed the tab I'd completed my research It might be on Hawaiian Publician public radio i've got a donation here for the princely sum of get this six dollars and ninety cents and that's from gracie do you get it guy yeah six dollars and ninety cents it's an amount of money and a hilarious

message all rolled into one which is good because there's no hilarious message attached $6.90 is sort of like a I don't know, I feel like you've created separation between the 6 and the 9 Well what are you going to do? You can't give us $69, that's entirely too much And $0.69 is actually pretty funny Just us $69. That's entirely too much. And 69 cents is actually pretty funny. Yeah, I think 69 cents. Just donating 69 cents.

For future reference, we appreciate the donation. Well, I don't join Guy on this. I'm very grateful for the almost $7 rather than almost 70 cents. That spins my wheels. I'm just going through the, sorry for being remotely distracted i'm just going through the the twitter and uh well go for it i'm gonna read an email okay how do you like that i like it this was sent to us in june guy yes june the 23rd which was if i'm not mistaken, is that the Equinox? Whenever I hear Equinox, I just think of the Kanye West song where he says he needs every bad bitch up in Equinox.

He needs to know right now if you're a freak or not. So it's a gym, I think. I was way off. It was on the 20th of March this year. What's solstice? Solstice is like that mid-year, shortest days, I think 18th of June? No, I mean what's the date?

Because I'm sure the 23rd of June is something. Summer solstice is the 21st of June. Oh, wow, fuck In North America Dear Batman and Flash I'm emailing from the past Finished season 4 a while ago And interested to see where you go next

Couple of things I thought you might find interesting Number one I've been trying to work out what it is about the combination of fellas That works so well And I think I'm onto something Guy is the fella who has several stories about soiling himself in public. Wow.

Wow. That he accidentally keeps starting to tell. Tim is the fella who brings fireworks to a backyard party and tells you it's fine. Both bring a different element of danger. Also, could be something about being interesting, funny, and genuinely fond of each other. I am genuinely fond of Guy Montgomery.

It's no lie. Point two. But it's not all perfect. In season three, you were talking about when Ziccoli was knocking on the window to see Somali at a cafe. For context, for reasons I cannot recall, you had established that Ziccoli was naked. There had been a large number of takes, and you observed that the man drinking coffee outside the front window did not look happy.

I was surprised that you missed that the man drinking coffee was Coffee Guy, which even I could tell despite not having seen either film. Maybe you needed to see We Are Your Friends a few more times to make the connection? Fuck.

Also, it occurred to me that Coffee Guy wasn't happy because each take Sikoli was accidentally dunking box office gold in the coffee. However, this raises more questions. Was this before Sex and the City 2 and therefore Coffee Guy's quest for more coffee can be put down to just chasing the sweet thrill of box office gold in his coffee cup? the sweet thrill of box office gold in his coffee cup? Or was it after Sex and the City 2 and these events finally broke Coffee Guy's addiction to caffeine and began his lifelong quest for cock? Wow. Just hearing all of those different little... There's a third point, by the way, but I wanted to break.

Pet names. I mean, I know for a fact that We Are Your friends had a release date after sex in the city too so it's got to be the the latter but just hearing the mention of all these different people um it's like a flashback to a an acid trip or something um we're really in there you really go in there and. Yeah, we do. The lighthearted suggestion we've not seen, we are your friends enough, it has not been taken in its good-natured intent.

Noted. Point three, when I first started listening to the podcast, I did not know what either of you looked like. Imagine my excitement when I was watching the Melbourne Comedy Festival Gala and hear the name Guy Montgomery read out as the next comic. Oh, I really thought that was going in a different direction. Oh, man. Tony Abbott's not a bad looking dude. He's just a bad dude. Yeah, it's difficult to separate the man from the face.

He's like a hot dad. He's someone's hot dad, Tony Abbott. Not super hot, but you know. If he never rose through the ranks of prime minister, even I guess getting into politics, he'd just be like, you know. A firefighter. Yeah. Just a regular volunteer firefighter.

An affable idiot who's like got misguided opinions, but you know, if you don't talk to him for long enough, you don't find out about them. He'd have the respect of the community for being a fair dinkum aussie fire battler yeah i was not sure if guy was about to spout some wrong side of history bullshit while chomping on a raw onion uh with the skin uh with the skin on like a maniac or just be kind and creative and maybe be a bit more interested in jesus than i am i guess these are the two tony Abbott and Aunt Shirley. It was a relief when Guy and Steve came out with some cracking comedy.

I have more thoughts, but I've taken enough of your time. Love the show. Cheers, Simon. Oh, Simon, what a roller coaster. You really took us on a journey there. Yeah, it was brilliant. I'd love to meet this Shirley. I'd love to stand for a

I'd love to pose for a photo between Tony Abbott and Aunt Shirley just so we could really Simon if you're cool with it flick us a photo of Aunt Shirley would you so we can take a gander compare it to Guy Montgomery's if you're listening Simon maybe you could create the composite image

of the three of us side by side so you don't have to go sending random pictures of your aunt to podcast hosts. Anyway. That sounds good. I've got a message here. What I've done, Tim, is I've delved into the others folder of our Twitter DMs and it runs deep.

Whoops. Missed one. This one here. I hope you're sitting down, Tim, because we're about to be educated. Okay. Hello, my good, good boys. Feel free to read this on the Friend Zone if you'd like. I'm a big fan.

This was written on September 27th, by the way. I'm reaching out to lovingly call you in on some language you used during the Emmanuel season. There is a character in the Emmanuel 2000 series who uses a wheelchair, and during the episodes where she's discussed, you refer to her as wheelchair-bound a few times. I just wanted to let you know that this language

is not preferred by the disabled community. Our mobility aids do not confine us, they give us freedom. The preferred language is wheelchair user by the disabled community our mobility aids do not confine us they give us freedom the preferred language is wheelchair user cane user crutches user etc as the case may be i hold absolutely no ill will against you frosty fellas for making this mistake i can tell that you always have the best of intentions and i just wanted to let you know for future reference and apologies if someone's already educated you on this matter. Thank you for the hours upon hours of entertainment you've provided me, especially during the times when I've been bedridden with my chronic illness or struggling through physical therapy.

You've really proven to be the best of company during endless repetitive days of sickness. Sing my name. Drew. Drew, thank you very much for that. That makes total sense to me. And apologies for doing that. That honest mistake, our bad.

And I'm going to try and kick that out of my vocab. Yeah. So generously heard and communicated. Absolutely. Thank you for taking the time. Yeah. Really nice stuff. Yes. Very happy to hear that. And best of luck with your

physical therapy. Wheelchair user, Kane user. Makes a lot of sense. Lock that in. It does. It absolutely does. And yeah, so thank you and nothing but the best. And actually, you know what, Tim, why don't you fucking sing Drew's name?

Why just me? Drew. Drew. Here's the thing about the boys. The boys love to learn. It's true. Thank you for bringing us that. I'm sure if someone was to traipse through the entirety of our podcast,

you could probably hear two men being educated in real time. Yes, yes, indeed. And long may it persist. Actually, I've already said this person's first name, and I don't know if that's the guy. So it's on the record now, Avery. This is a message from Patreon guy. You've inspired me to look into a often ignored mailbag, which is terrible because these are the people who are financially supporting us, for goodness sake.

They should be top of the list, always. And maybe if I remember, they will be henceforth. Frosty Fellas, long-time listener, sometimes writer, never been reader. Another Patreon I follow recently restructured their pay scheme, so I've shuffled my one allotted $10 a month over to hashtag pay the boys. Holy shit, that's kind. On top of that, I've recently started a new job with a much longer commute and better pay and have started re-listening to your back catalogue,

loving all the times you say season three will be the last in retrospect as this was the first season I listened to in real time as it was released and I was genuinely concerned I wouldn't hear from my lads as often afterwards. Keep up the good work, take it easy on the boner inspector and keep your spirits up during lockdown. Genuinely dunno how up to date y'all are on the friendzone but feel free to say my name, thank goodness, Avery Cobb he him. Don't know how up to date y'all are on the friend zone, but feel free to say my name. Thank goodness. Avery Cobb, he, him. P.S.

I'm not 100% sure on the timeline, but I think you boys would have been at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival at the same time as my dad. Oh, wait, have I read this one? He's pretty big in busker circles from what I understand. Under the stage name, Tom Sektolomi is a sword swallower. We have read this but I don't

remember the first bit but I remember his dad I've been trying to get him to listen to the potty but no

luck so far PPS I can't believe oh I can't believe I forgot it I've been blasting my way

through Taskmaster NZ after getting hooked from a clip in which Laura stole Guy's girlfriend genuinely the funniest shit I've ever seen from the whole cast,

and I was glad to see you got Chelsea back. The custom T-shirt gag continues to hit it out of the park every time. That's a Guy Montgomery bit, not a Laura Daniel bit. Can't wait for the last two episodes to hit the States. I'm so glad for your message and your American busking, sword-swallowing dad and your enjoyment of, I guess, Taskmaster and the podcast. Yeah.

Tell them about the T-shirt gig, Guy. Let us all know. Okay. Well, so Task, I don't know if anyone's familiar with Taskmaster, but it's a great, like probably the best formatted panel show on international television. And it's the same five comedians across a season of 10 episodes. And you do all these tasks out at the Taskmaster house. And then all of you do them. You don't know what each other do. They're all sort of funny and stupid, and you take them seriously even though they're ridiculous. And then at the end of it, you watch all of the- It's like transport this egg across the river. You have one gumboot, and you're not allowed to get wet.

Yes. It's stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. It's sort of demented parlor games. And at the end of it all, you sit in the studio with the other contestants, and you watch back all of your footage, and then you're judged for your performance by the taskmaster and the taskmaster has an assistant who is our friend the very funny musician and comedian paul williams and um you get to choose an outfit for the task so you wear the same outfit in all of

the tasks when you go out to the house and i chose an outfit which had a picture like a yearbook picture of a i would say right cusping on adolescence paul williams and i i just thought it would be a funny thing to do to show up in this t-shirt and watch paul respond to it in real time because i had to go pretty deep into his inner circle to get the t-shirt and i showed up on the first day and paul saw it and he's like you know he's a pretty unflappable guy and his character on the show is even more so like he's sort of very cool very cool and he's sort of like physically recoiled and was like like didn't like it but i had to not like it in character immediately on the show and then when we were on our lunch break or whatever that day,

it turned out the reason he was frustrated is because the yearbook photo from the year before, he thought he looked really handsome and he was never happy with the photo I chose. Yeah. That's a blow. That's a blow for a guy making his TV career, you know? Well, yeah. But I thought, you know, it's a funnier photo.

It's a comedy show. But so anyway. Well, maybe to you guy yes i you then obviously there are 10 episodes where you're in the studio watching it all back and so you've got 10 different opportunities to wear clothes and i got 10 different photos of paul through the years from infancy to present day and i wore them in my best uh guess of chronological order across the whole season and um initially obviously rocks because in some of the episodes it's just not mentioned yeah which kind of makes it all the better guys are just wearing paul williams as a child yeah i uh i actually still have the t-shirts and it is my plan. I really want to do a photo shoot with Paul wearing them all and then auction them off for charity.

Hell yeah. I'll take those photos. I've got a good camera. They'll be outstanding. Let's put it together. Yeah. The lockdown sort of got in the way, but I've got this bag of Paul Williams t-shirts in my room

that is driving Chelsea fucking nuts. Are they clean? Give them a wash? Yeah, they're clean. Come on. That's good. Come on. I don't know.

You don't have a bag of dirty t-shirts in there. I don't know what sordid affairs you've got lying around your house at the moment. Now. It's in lockdown. Standard slip. I tell you, I'm the laundry guy in this house. Are you? Yeah.

I am the laundry guy. It's not a designation i desired it's just sort of the way that the chips have fallen i don't know why that surprises me but it does really no in retrospect you're actually you you sort of you value clothes i value yeah i have um you like to wear to wear what you want to wear. I know. I'm thinking I've got so many T-shirts. I've been trying to cut down on the clothes I have,

and I've got so many T-shirts. I was thinking of doing a different T-shirt a day for December and then banishing the ones I don't like. Farewelling them. Do you know, I've done a thing this year where I haven't bought a sink, well, except for new year's day i made a new year's resolution to buy no clothes no new clothes yeah yeah that's great and i broke it on the first of january and after that oh i'm wearing the t-shirt actually that's

right yeah it's the new zealand band Mermaidens. Yeah. It's merch. Because we were hanging out with them over New Year's and they were like, oh, we didn't sell any t-shirts at the get, or we sold like two t-shirts. It's like, that t-shirt's fucking sick. I'll buy one. And then it just, everyone was hung over and loved the t-shirt and they sold like 20 t-shirts at the barbecue.

Yeah. It was a really, really powerful play by them. I think you should probably make some sort of allowance for merch to an extent yeah yeah yeah it's a it's slightly different isn't it it is uh i've got another one from our twitter here tim hi timbo and guy price of shit montgomery i'm i'm going to assume that's a typo. No, I like it. It's an evolution of an old favorite.

I'm going to start calling you a total price of shit. The R and the ER next to each other on your standard keyboard. Anyway, I am the price of shit. That's right. I started listening to the pod after watching Taskmaster NZ. Thanks, YouTube. And seeing the show recommended by some lovely commenter. Oh, I love that. I love the YouTube comment section.

Oh, yeah. It's so funny. Love the show. In my second year of uni, listening to your mental anguish is always a lovely break from my stress. In fact, I've been listening to the pod so much that a recent dialect quiz I had to do for my course

told everyone my native dialect was from New Zealand. I'm actually Welsh. They're very different. You brave boys fucked up the data for my whole class. Congratulations. The Welsh accent is a beautiful thing too I really like Welsh And it's a very confusing language

When the Queen's English is your first Is your native tongue To see Welsh written down It's like, you know Five vowels equals a K sound or something There's a whole lot of those sorts of rules Which is It keeps you on your toes

Man, I would like I don't know what it is. I've really, I've always wanted to, I wanted to like drive around the British Isles, not Britain so much, but like Wales and Scotland. And I guess Ireland, which is not in the British Isles. It's an important distinction to make, but it's still, you know, the rolling green hills. And I like the idea of a quaint little pub in a village. It's all just so fucking appealing to me it would be similar to new zealand but quainter because the pub that you're in is being there since like 1200 the thing yeah that's the point of difference is that it's all old and because in new zealand most of the the buildings

that we frequent in are around are relatively speaking new, I'd love to just be anywhere that's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years old you know that's just me you want one more guy?

yeah, you close it out hey boys first, please don't say my name Okay I'm feeling like a lucky duck For not jumping into that Second I was on a re-listen

Of a couple earlier seasons Don't know why I'm reading it like this And realised That I had not Hashtag paid the boys So I thought it was best To rectify that Love the shows

Keep doing what you're doing Etc etc etc Third I think I found another possible Coffee Guy explanation. Everything's fucking linking in. It's so in sync. Coffee Guy is preparing for the New York Comic Con and getting in character

for his very specific cosplay of Futurama's Philip J. Fry in the episode 300 Big Boys, where he spends his 300 tricky dick fun bill. Hmm. Uh, to buy one cup to buy 100 cups of coffee,

like fry. The immense amount of coffee causes coffee guy to vibrate at a special frequency, which creates a quantum projection of coffee guy throughout the numerous performances of the film. In other words, while the other actors must turn up week after week in Sisyphian Torments.

Sisyphus is a Greek man who rolled a boulder up. Oh, he had to keep putting the boulder up. Did he eventually get gored by an eagle or was that someone else? He had their guts permanently getting gored out by birds? I can't remember. Was it the same guy? Different guy. If you did classics, get in touch.

Anyway, for performer and audience. So Sisyphean, am I saying that right? Sisyphean? Yeah. Sisyphean tournament for performer and audience. Sisyphean, am I saying that right? Sisyphean Tournament for performer and audience. Coffee Guy has in fact delivered a

singular timeless performance around which the others are built. Finally, I watched Team America World Police again recently and I forgot that one of the characters had a run-in with a cast of cats. Now I can't shake the image of a drunken Idris Elba and Ian McKellen

assaulting a puppet. Anyway, keep up the good work. Lovely stuff from a person whose name I will not mention. Yeah. But I really like that idea of quantum projection. Don't be afraid to associate your name with quantum projection. I was going to say it's very Doctor Strange, but you know what?

Fuck Marvel. Not everything is Marvel. Things were things before Marvel took them on. Yeah, man. So, yeah. How about that? How about it? Hey, Tim, you're actually looking really handsome today.

Thanks, man. I appreciate that. I haven't had a shower. I see. Sometimes that's all it takes. I just caught a glimpse of myself in the Zoom, and I thought, God almighty, Montgomery, shave your fucking face.

Oh, you're right, man. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Come on, man. Go easy. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Go hard on yourself. Well, thank you to the various identities assumed by our one listener, and to-

Yeah, and, Guy, I mean, sorry to interrupt you. I should let you finish your sentence. No, no. I fucking can't. No, interrupt me, please. Well, what I was going to say is we're sort of at an interesting point now because the season's ended and we don't quite know what we're doing next. But I did consult on our Patreon what the vibe would be if we put in a few of the Killionaire episodes.

And I don't know if I've actually put this to you yet. But how would you feel, Guy? So we've got a Patreon-exclusive podcast called Killionaire. And it being behind a paywall has served a few masters, one of which is at least an illusion of legal protection against the authorities catching up with us for soliciting murder. Why? Yeah. It's all jokes, though.

It's important for me to say that every time I reference what's going on, a guy just winked on a Zoom call to me on an audio podcast. It was such a wink. So, yeah, Guy, how do you feel about that? Because the sort of, I think, we coalesced the discussion on Patreon around the fact that, like, not a big issue if we put some of them out there, but maybe we just put a few and not all of them.

So maybe I probably bleed out the first 10. I reckon let people know what it's about. And obviously those are, we're probably actually due to check in with Jeff, but those are still coming out on the Patreon. So if you like them, you can then catch up on the back catalogue of. Well, yeah.

And we are at a point where if the next phase of Kellyanne comes to fruition, I would quite like to make a reality. It would be good for people to have a bit of context before that exists. And the truth. I'm for it, Tim. I'm all for it. Fantastic.

All right. Well, we'll do that then. So that'll come out next. And then, I mean, look. There's some other stuff in the pipe. There's some other stuff in the pipe there's some there's some other stuff happening that's right um the boys are still on the tools we are we are it's the sun you know what it's been raining that whole podcast now the sun has broken out and if that is an encouragement to walk down to the local cafe and pick up a cup at Takeaway Joe. You know what fucking slays me about that, though?

You can't use reusable cups at the moment. You say that, but there are some rogue cafes, namely my local, who will allow for you to use your Keep Cup. Really? Yeah. They're not supposed to be doing that, but I'm glad they are. I know. That's my kind of rogue.

Anyhow. Hey, everyone. That's enough from us for right now, but I hope you're having a good day. Whatever else is happening in your life, I hope today is good. Yeah. Tim could care less about your tomorrow. Tomorrow doesn't exist though. All that exists is today.

I hope you have a good tomorrow. I believe in the concept of tomorrow and I, I wish nothing but the best for you then. Bye. The friends are not alone. Anytime with Tim and Guy.