The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 144

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

Happy 8th birthday to The Worst Idea of All Time. Guy and Tim are talking favourite vegetables, the incredible ratio of listeners with PhDs (again) and whether New Zealanders are the capybaras of nationalities. The show has also doubled its libertarian listenership and the fellaz try to figure out what countries fall under the "Down Under" umbrella?TWIOAT Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website / Patreon GUY Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website TIM Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. You know my favourite vegetable? When I was a boy I used to only eat corn. It was the only one I'd eat. But now, I eat nearly all of them. I feel like I eat all of them. And you can cook anything to be tasty, Tim. I've learned it's wrong to just assume that there is, I mean, some foods have distinct tastes,

but it's wrong to assume that, you know, wholesale, say, broccoli is not for you. You chuck enough oil and salt on anything, it going to turn out okay suddenly it works it's so funny because i wouldn't even class corn as like a vegetable of course it is but like it would never occur to me yeah you know it's i was a very fussy eater as i must have been a disaster as a boy well just like you know, you know, you're a parent. Newly minted. You're a parent to an infant, yeah.

You cook food for your children. Not yet, though. And you want them to enjoy it. And if they don't, you know, there's no appreciation for the time outlay that goes into preparing the food. They're just like, this is, you know, because the world is customized to their wants and so like this is not what i want and you think it's not really relevant it's what there is and i was like the total princely embodiment of that entitlement to my mum who was like this amazing mum who made these delicious meals and i'd be like this isn't corn it's always i think you also have to temper the amount of work that you put in for a kid's meal because it's uh olive's amazing she

eats anything really she's got the most refined palate for a child i've ever seen like you could put literally anything in front of her caviar she'll eat it she did caviar incredible i'm gonna get you guys some caviar yeah yeah it's important she develops a taste for caviar early Hey everybody, welcome to the friend zone We just watched Cats Yeah, we did With our, well we oversaw our friends Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber

And Tom Hooper We produced the director's commentary We got them in a room together Yeah And we said, you've got a lot to talk about here I've had it boys And they did So that's something to look forward to.

And meanwhile, we just got to watch the movie again. Which was honestly a lot of fun. Yeah. I haven't even put it on Letterboxd yet. I'm loving logging everything on Letterboxd. You've got to stop mentioning them unless they give us money. No brand names. Okay.

Except my beloved Pepsi. It's fun to have rules and to break the rules so tim one of the windiest days i've seen in a while yeah it's cooked man do you like the wind it's crazy what's a northerly so this is weird in new zealand in the southern hemisphere a northerly is hot but i guess if you're up in the northern bit of the world it's cold cold. Because it's coming from the Arctic. But it's quite weird to have such a strong gale force. Hot wind. That is so true.

It's exciting, but it's also like, this feels bad. You think trees like the wind? Yeah, man. They love it. That's how they propagate themselves. Sort of like a good stretch for a tree, isn't it? Yeah. Because trees, they can get quite lazy and stagnant,

and then the wind comes along, and all of a sudden... Without the wind, they wouldn't be able to... What's the word that they use to fertilize themselves? I guess bees do that, cross-pollinate. Yeah, bees love traveling with pollen. Yeah, but so does the wind. Yeah, yeah. But the wind does a great job of spreading their genetic material

The wind is It's a friend to nature And it's a foe to like I guess People Humans who have ensconced themselves in these silly buildings That's right We should get back out there brother

Not all buildings are equally windproof Like Ted Kaczynski, he had the right idea, except the killing people bit. Who's Ted Kaczynski? The Unabomber. Oh. Tim, we can't be saying that he had the right idea. Certainly not on the friend zone. No friend of ours.

Still alive, I think. I don't even know about this guy. He's in jail now. Rightly so, it sounds like. He wrote a manifesto, which I think is still available online. I haven't read all of it. You can just stop talking about him now if you really want. Yeah, up to you.

Shall I go on Twitter? What do you mean? Shall I go on the worst idea of all time's Twitter? Oh, yeah, man. Absolutely. You should. In fact, what a great departure. I'll go on Patreon.

Okay. This is from Wednesday. And today for us is Sunday. So it's pretty recent. Hey, Tim and Guy. I've been slamming the podcast since a friend put me onto it. Started with Podcast in a Tree before starting Sex and the City 2 and I'm now onto Grown Ups 2.

Whoa. You've inspired me to challenge myself to do a film once a week for a year too and i'd love it if you could choose the film if you could choose the film i'd be subjected to the short list is oceans eight bride wars uncut gems plus one little fuckers know you're busy lads and must get heaps of messages but your help would be appreciated and that is from an author who has not written their name and so will remain nameless i've only seen uncut gems out of that bunch and i loved it i don't think uncut gems is i think that's going to be a long and hard year yeah and don't ruin it. It's a decent flick. To me, it comes down to Bride Wars or Little Fockers. What the hell is Little Fockers?

Is that like the fourth one? Well, there was Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers, and then it must be the third one, right? Yeah, this came out in 2010. Did Terry Polo and Ben Stiller have children? It's described as a screwball comedy. That's the genre. 98 minutes.

Strict and old-fashioned patriarch Jack Brines. That's Rob De Niro, presumably. Is unhappy with his son-in-law, Greg. That's Ben Stiller. When he takes up a second job at a drug company. So he wants to prove his capability by testing him. I'm going to say this one. Little Fockers would be my vote.

All right. I think I'm going to go into bat for the 2009 film Bride Wars, starring Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, two childhood best friends who have made many plans together for their respective weddings, turning to sworn enemies in a race to get married before each other. Oh, that sounds fun. That sounds like it'll be a fun one to watch one time

and terrible to keep watching. Yeah, do that. Bride Wars is our decision. So we'll say it and I'll also write it for you. So I'm writing Bride Wars. Fantastic. That's that one. Now we've got a message from our Patreon.

I will say their name. I will say their name at the start and end because I scroll to the end and it's chuck right chuck writes dear silla tim and flash montgomery l's magic mushroom man hello i was introduced to you fine frosty fellas some time ago through your collaboration with the mackleroy's on the magnificent Death Blart podcast about three years ago. I've since binged your backlog up to season four whilst also listening to your current projects.

You have become a permanent fixture in my podcast lineup, so I thought it was fun to make you a permanent fixture on my bank statement. Yeah, you're a legend. I'm messaging you because I noticed a trend during the friend zone where people would message you after receiving their PhD to thank you for the laughs you both provided along the way. This seemed to confuse and concern you both.

And as a PhD student myself, Here we fucking go. Don't worry. I'm seven years in with the end only dimly in view, so you're both doing much better than me. I thought I'd offer an explanation. The core of the worst-edited experience seems to be the heroic effort of continually

returning to a state of abject misery, going through the drudgery of performing the same questionable actions over and over whilst looking as hard as you can for something novel to make the experience worthwhile, running yourself ragged as you sprint to the end and finally find the jubilation that comes from liberating yourself of these self-imposed burdens. Let me tell you, that is an experience that every graduate student is intimately familiar with. You both deserve honorary doctorates from Ivy League schools

for the innovations in the field of media studies born from your suffering. If I had it my way, you'd already have them. Whether I'm making electrodes, performing crude brain surgery, or scooping up rat shit, which I'm allergic to, your dulcet tones and bizarre

senses of humor have kept me grounded and sane in this arduous time in my life. And for that, I'm eternally grateful. Can't wait to see what off-the-wall concept you've got planned next. Keep on keeping on, say my name, Chuck. Post script. I'm happy the boner inspector finally got his happy ending. He spent so long searching your trousers to no avail. Thank God this valiant trooper finally got the release he so desperately needed. Couldn't agree more. Thanks Chuck.

You've got a heart of gold and a big old brain. And it's nice to contextualize I mean this is the thing. The whys and wherefores. Yeah. Different people look at the same painting and they take away a different message.

Different people listen to the podcast and they take away a different PhD. And that's just the way the world goes. There's a painting. What do you take away from it? We've got a painting in the room with us folks uh i feel good sick how do you feel energy looks very kinetic to me yeah like the ocean it looks like waves on the ocean That belonged to my parents So I've got a long and storied That represents home to me

That painting More than me taking away a message From the actual art It's presence anywhere Represents to me the safety of The ocean The ocean is a very safe place That's cool

don't wait don't check for rips don't just get out there swimming swimming between the flags is for cowards oh i don't say that i don't like that i don't go down there you just went on board as being pro the uni bomber this is one of the most off the rails friend zones okay this is another one hey frosty fellas i just want to say your podcast has got me thought. I'm sure that was meant to be through some really tough times, and the utter joy and happiness you bring to so many is a treasure. Much love from a Frosty fella from Down Under, Brodie, with a heart. To you, when you hear Down Under, and thanks, Brodie, for the message,

do you think New Zealand and Australia are exclusively Australia? Like do you ever self describe as being from down under? No but when people describe it I think of the entire continent encompassing both places I don't just think of Australia Our continent includes

all the Pacific Islands as well I know Do you consider the nation of Tonga to be down under? No. Me neither. Even though they are. What does that mean, though? To be down under.

Yeah. Being in the Pacific. Being beneath the equator. Yeah. I think of, you know, Brazil as down under. I think of, you know, Brazil is down under. Someone wrote, the worst idea of all time for Shrek would be to watch Shrek Retold on YouTube. And that was sent in December before we did any Shrek content.

We might have been talking Shrek. We might have been. Do you know what Shrek Retold is? No. It feels like maybe it's a fan-made thing. Yeah. It's on YouTube. It sounds interesting. It does.

Now, what about this? Also, we got a reply. Did you see that? From the person who wanted us to pick their movie? Oh. I can't remember if they wanted their name revealed, but they responded already with a love heart and said, it shall be so.

That's right. Terrifying. That is crazy power to wield. That's real-time power we were just like this and then now that someone's year done what about this hello tim drake guy gardner and all the other friendzone inhabitants i've been listening to your lovely voices since late season one so first things first i want to extend a long overdue thank you for your sacrifice however that's not why i'm writing today inspired by your own heroism i've begun pulling my own life apart with needlessly demanding bits social experiments last year i let algorithms make as many of my choices as possible which turned out to be chillingly easy this year i was going

to take the old Desert Island game seriously and choose one movie, book, podcast, etc. to get me through the whole year. When I decided on Groundhog Day as my movie, I thought about you frosty fellas and decided to say, fuck it, and also watch Groundhog Day every single day this year. What? This is January 2022, this message.

So it's semi-recent. Oh my God. I'm 13 viewings in, and while the movie's holding up so far, my brain is starting to become mush. So I also want to give you boys a hearty fuck you for being so damn inspiring in such a profoundly stupid way. I've also chosen your show as the only podcast I'll be listening to in 2022. So please, for the love of God, keep up the great work.

Mumble. My motherfucking name. Jake Vengundu. Jake. Nah, man. I don't know about this. It doesn't sound like you're looking after yourself very well. And I'm worried about you.

I don't think you should be watching Groundhog Day daily It's quite a big time commitment I will say that It is Yeah it is man I mean let's start there It's a big time commitment You do you

You're in charge of your own destiny Of course But like You do you You're in charge of your own destiny Of course But like You do you You're in charge of your own destiny It just seems You do you You're in charge of your own destiny

You do you You're in charge of your own destiny You do you You're in charge of your own destiny We did cats daily for a week And it really started to get to me Yeah By the end of that

That's the only daily we've done right And we stopped after 7 Yeah So I don't know about How are you man Tim I tried to lie down but it didn't quite work with the Headphone situation I kept slipping off

The boys were both lying down briefly Yeah I'm lying on the couch Hey man I'm pretty tired. Yeah? I'm a bit of a sleepy boy. That's going to happen from time to time. Yeah, sometimes in life. How did Remy sleep last night?

He's sleepy. No, great. I'm sorry to hear that. That's all right. You know, this baby's going to baby. That's what they do. That's what they do. And what them would like to remind me of.

Oh, my goodness. Thank God. Oh, wait. That's not even their name interesting hey tim and guy so cool to be writing to you i'm only a recent subscriber to the patreon but honestly i should have started giving you guys money a long time ago since i've been listening to the podcast since midway through season one oh that's a long time ago yeah what are we up to now in this february wait it is february yeah oh shit i missed our anniversary oh i have a funny feeling it was

like yesterday our anniversary yeah of the of the first episode of the pod going up was that which means 14 yeah so 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 we're eight we're eight years old eight going on nine Was that in 14? Yeah. So 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. We're eight. We're eight years old. Eight going on nine. We're in our ninth year. Is that how it works? Yeah.

Shit. So you're 34 going on your 35th year. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. And 34 divided by eight, 8, 16, 24, 32. It's like a fifth of your life has been doing this. More.

If it was a fifth, 8, that's 40. Well, a four and a half. Oh, I see. Okay, yeah, it's close to it. Oh, that's sobering. Yeah, dog. What do you think about that? Is that too long?

Well, I'm lying down right now, so I can sort of take whatever comes. It's brought me a lot of laughter throughout the years, and I always look forward to new episodes. I really think all your guys' content is just great, and that everyone should hire you to do whatever it is you want to do all the time. That's a very generous idea. That's lovely.

I like that a lot. The catalyst to me finally subscribing was because I saw you were going to be watching Shrek and I needed to listen to the episode. Shrek is my favorite movie of all time. Oh, wow. I watch the first film every couple of months and usually do a marathon of all the films

and drink swamp juice and there's two asterisks. What's the plural of asterisks? And am I saying asterisks right? Yeah, you're saying asteris. What's the plural of asterix? And am I saying asterix right? Yeah, you're saying asterix right. Question everything, man. Asterisk. Asterix.

Asterix. Asterix and obelisk. But what is the plural of asterix? Asterixes. Astri. Astri. I'm going to say astri. There's two astri after Swamp Juice.

It's one of my birthday events every year. This isn't weird because Shrek is the 22nd most watched film of all, according to IMDb. Anyway, I was very excited that you did the watch since Tim said he had never seen the film. Guilty! And didn't really want to.

I was overwhelmed and honestly a bit offended. I loved listening to the episode and seeing you guys reactions and thought alexi toliopoulos was a really great addition i was very impressed with his extensive knowledge of shrek and mike myers more broadly i don't know why are you offended maybe because it was some worst idea you know maybe because you'd never seen it before yeah yeah that's true i was waiting for the bit where it was like, but Tim sucks. But Tim's cancelled.

I hope you will consider watching the sequels or at least Shrek 2, Tick, since many people consider it to be even better than the first one. I think I said that. You probably did. Yeah. This is bullshit in my opinion,

but the movie is still very good and many iconic scenes and characters are involved. The soundtrack is also excellent. I did want to say one thing regarding your comments about Robin Hood. I get why you would want the character to be British given the historical significance, but I think the fact that he is French says some interesting things about stereotypes in the anglophone world. says some interesting things about stereotypes in the anglophone world. In the French version, he is extremely Italian,

and his song is very funny. Actually, I recommend watching the movie in any other languages, as you may speak, so you can really enjoy all of the interesting jokes, sorry, interesting takes on the different jokes. Ultimately ultimately nothing beats the original voice cast though okay i will shut up about shrek now sorry this got long i just want to say that i'm a huge fan of the podcast and and am planning on giving you a bunch more money when i start my doctorate of course of course another one of the intelligentsia. What an insane claim, but I reckon pound for pound,

we've got the most educated podcast audience of all. Wow, we're very intelligent. The thing is, we're super intelligent. I've been making grad student money for a thousand years, which is why I haven't paid you guys until now. This person's a vampire. And they spend their time studying. Nice one, you supernatural idiot.

If this gets on the friend zone, you can say the name below. I'm writing under a pseudonym. Cheers and much love, Katrina Amarito family. Thank you, Katrina. Asterix's. Swamp Juice. Here's the recipe. A Shrek themed cocktail I invented

which is basically just a mimosa but with green juice instead of orange juice It's called that because it looks like juice from a swamp and there's a full serving of vegetables in every glass of swamp juice My partner didn't want to try it at first but now he begrudgingly admits it is both

delicious and fibrous. That's what I look for in a cocktail. Fiber. All about health. This is a short one, Tim, but it encourages engagement. Are you listening? Mm-hmm. Theory.

New Zealanders are the capybaras of humans in terms of general chillness. Do go on. Oh, is that it? Yeah. That is short. I agree. I don't know a lot about capybaras. I just see cute photos of them chilling out.

They look like sloths online. They're behaviorally. Yeah. And I know a lot about New Zealanders because i am one and i'm surrounded by them that's right i i mean we don't let things get too out of hand until recently yeah we've got a bunch of protesters who are camped out for the fourth day i think on the lawns of parliament But unlike other countries that may send in the Defence Force, which, I mean, TBC, maybe things will heat up. But instead, the Speaker of the House of Parliament

turned the sprinklers on them. Yeah. Which is quite churlish. But very New Zealand. By New Zealand standards, that is a slap in the face. I hope things don't heat up now And it gets yucky Who knows I think one of the big challenges that

Protesters are facing is there's no single vision They don't have It's a tricky thing Protesting's hard to do it properly Activism's tricky When you want to get something done They've just got a variety of people with Very different We're all just mad at the government Gripes When you want to get something done. They've just got like a variety of people with very different.

We're just mad at the government. Gripes. Yeah. And it's associated with, you know, how things are going for the virus. But yeah. I disagree with them. Yeah. Not everything's perfect, but they're complaining about some pretty far-fetched things.

It's, you know, that's why you and I are different, but we're still able to get along because we're such good friends. Yeah. Dear frosty fellers. Hello. Long time listener. First time caller. You boys have helped me through some of the hardest times of my life in the past few years. From being laid off of the best job I ever had to immediately

working the worst job I ever had. The NZ boys have been there for me through it all. That's us. Just wanted to say. Yo. Thanks for the laughs and I'm just so stinking proud of you both. Aww. I absolutely loved the Sex and the City script read and was howling

at the introduction of Batman. A better crossover than anything the Marvel Cinematic Universe dickheads could deliver. I do have a potentially big problem for my bodacious boys. I turned my buddy Sam onto your podcast recently and he binged your Sex in the City 2 series in a few weeks.

The issue is that Sam is a staunch libertarian and has effectively grown your libertarian audience by 100%. Are you mad at me for this? Or maybe disappointed in me? Anyways, love you boys and say my name if you want.

Alex. Proud to double our libertarian and full listenership to two. That's really cool. I can't believe it's going to be a real, like the muscle memory of referring to the two people listening to this podcast, no longer saying listener, but talking about our listeners. That's going to be a big adjustment for me, but it's one I feel confident I can make. saying listener but talking about our listeners that's going to be a big adjustment for me but

it's one i feel confident i can make another message from the patreon before we cap off this tiny little mini size friend zone yeah sounds good please tell me you boys are going to review the next sex in the city reboot someone sent to us months ago in december they'll be pleased by what we've done happy to oblige yeah anything for our patreons we did that off our own bat yeah we sure did um thank you for your continued support everybody your words of friendship and warmth what is that buzz we're getting on the line? It's Guy. It's Guy making the buzz.

It was kind of fun. You know when you're lying there and you're going to sleep and your eyes are shut? And then you just hear this? That one's a mosquito Yeah Do that Do that Oh fuck

Yeah apart from That was a really good mosquito I honestly wanted to swipe you away Just seeing In my headphones I can't hold it When I'm getting close to the mic I'm getting nervous No it just takes a lot of breath

Guy Montgomery available for Voice work Anytime you need it Where are we We're at worstideaofalltime.com Voice work Anytime you need it Where are we? We're at worstideaofalltime.com We are at facebook.com Slash worstideaofalltime We're at twitter.com

Slash twiwetpod And instagram Do we have an instagram? Oh yeah we do I forgot I posted a photo of you on that recently You look handsome as all hell. Oh, thanks, buddy.

You look fantastic. So if you want to reach out to us, you've got multiple options. And if you don't want to reach out to us, that's your call. We're going to keep releasing podcasts anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know there's two of you now. Hey, can I give everyone a heads up on something? Hey, can I give everyone a heads up on something?

We are in the middle of creating the Killiania TV show, and it is proving way trickier than I thought. And so it may take me a little while to get that all edited up. So please bear with us. It's quite a resource-intensive little little process and i don't know if the output will sort of reflect the time and energy that's gone into it but that's the nature of the show but just know that like we're cooking there's always stuff being cooked and the worst idea the kitchen's never off like no one's even not in the kitchen even when you're like

where's this fucking food i ordered like four weeks ago? It is being- And you know what? When the food arrives, if it's not exactly what you ordered, know that we worked very hard on it. Like a small child giving you a macaroni tie for Christmas. We're not phoning it in. It's just difficult to nail it every single time. We don't have PhDs.

We're not like the rest of you. You know? We're just ignoramuses that someone gave a microphone to. That's right. And we love you. We do. So, look after yourselves. Look after one another, as there are two of you.

Go see a guy in Melbourne and Sydney. If you're in Australia, please watch me do comedy. And if you're not, please look us up on YouTube. So you can watch us do comedy. And if you're not, please look us up on YouTube so you can watch us do comedy. Yes, sick. Otherwise, just keep doing whatever it is that makes you feel good so long as that's not interfering with anyone else's life. Nice one, bro. That is the libertarian way.

Bye, everybody. In the friend zone, you're always home. In the friend zone, you're always home. In the friend zone, you're not alone. Anytime with Tim and Guy.