The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 153

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

OOPSY - Timbo has not done his TWIOAT homework and thus, very late on the next episode of Killionaire coming out (sorry everyone!) Meanwhile Guy is missing his podcast partner and Tim is feeling kinda ok with 5 hours sleep a night. One generous listener donates the funniest sum imaginable with the hopes the boys will spend time with Morbius and writer Chris responds to the boys' reminisces about hangovers with a grotesque granular recounting of his own toughest mornings (with a twist). Someone subscribes to the Substack because Guy was rude to them in a dream and by the end of the podcast Guy is truly high as a kite.TWIOAT Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website / SubstackGUY Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / WebsiteTIM Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. I don't want anyone else to know about this, I just want you to know. Okay. Are you listening? I'm listening. Are you going to put this in the podcast? Maybe. I really miss you, man. I miss you too, guy. There's a real, um, there's been a real void of time, a real time void i know i felt quite lonely today did you yeah i did what was going on today buddy what were you doing what were you up to uh nothing in particular it wasn't i don't think it was emblematic of the day today i think it's just like uh a reflection of you know i've been

pretty mobile which is a dream and i feel very fortunate for but i feel uh i'm i'm missing i'm missing spending time with friends with no agenda and uh nothing but time in front of me. Well, this begs the question, Guy, who are these fuckos you've been hanging out with with agendas? And what are their agendas? What are they after? Often they want to record podcasts. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Yeah, I don't mean agendas. You know what I mean? I just, I really, I don't mean agendas. You know what I mean? I just, I really, like, I mean this sincerely. And from the bottom of my heart, I miss you. And I would love to, like, spend some quality time separate from us getting together in accordance with our professional lives. When was the last time Timbo and Guy Guy just got really fricking stoned together?

You know? I don't know that I can remember. And we've both had things on, and we've both got lives to live, and that's gonna take its toll but you got to prioritize your people you gotta you gotta yeah you gotta look after all parts of yourself how are you anyway man hey dude i'm doing all right i'm doing okay that's good how was your day i'm like i feel like i'm living uh somewhat unsustainably at the moment and there is something i'd like to put up the top of this friend zone and that is that uh one part of how i feel is slightly guilt-ridden because

i have not uh even started to edit the Kill Your Knee episode, which is supposed to be out today. And those things are a process. It involves me doing quite a lot of stuff and then sending to AJ and then him doing a lot of stuff and then him sending it back to me and then me giving notes and sending it back to him, and then him sending it to you for a final sign-off. And I tell you what,

we are up to step zero of that process for the current episode. I know that I'm inside of the sausage factory, and so it's not my place to say, but I would not like for that to weigh heavy on my man people understand really you've got a family you've got other professional and personal obligations you've got a whole life i have a commitment to the worst idea of all time and i need everybody to know that i'll scream it from the rooftops. I don't doubt it.

I mean, we were meant to podcast at 8.45 a.m. this morning. I had to do a school drop-off, so we didn't postpone it till, you know, this isn't the days of yonder or yore. We didn't postpone it till 9.15, 9.45, 10 a.m. The next open slot we both Had together was at 10.30pm These are different times We're adults mate

It's going on and it's going off And it's alright It's okay, it is okay I'm rocking and rolling around Day to day with On I would, it's definitely, it's like five hours sleep, but it's every night, it's about five hours. And I look very tired, and I feel tired, but I also am doing it, and it feels a little dangerous, and I'm kind of into it.

Can I ask you, because this is something that I've always been interested in, and by proxy I assume that at least one of the people listening or the sole person listening would also be interested, what was your sleep regimen before child? Because I always assume that you're a man who's operating on five hours average a night anyway. Well, it was like probably seven hours on, i reckon seven hours is a good night of sleep for me um and there is a big difference between five and seven i think they're different numbers yeah they're a different amount of hours you know but yeah which is like you drag it across a week

there's a difference of 14 yeah Yeah, it's a big number. The numbers, they add up. They accrue. Yeah, yeah. It depends what symbol you put between. You're a pretty good sleeper, though, aren't you, Guy? You're pretty. Yeah, I sleep as much.

I sleep as much as possible. And I also, it's interesting co-parenting because you do get caught on adjusting, you know, schedules. But if we've got Olive, I'll go to bed at, try and get to bed at 10 o'clock every night and get up with her, you know. When is that? I guess 6.30. You're getting eight hours then, and that's what I need. But I will say,

since I've started this, since I've, oh fuck, I'm going to sound like I'm hawking something. Since I started Transcendental Meditation, I can get by with a little bit less sleep than I previously required. That's pretty dope.

This is a recent addition to guys yeah this is uh new to 2022 i feel like it gives you a little energy boost um i'm sure it does there's no doubt about that that's cool hey listen i was hanging out with your partner. Last night? It was last night, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was last night, eh? Yeah.

Man, the days are really blurring together. But if you're in New Zealand or Australia, you should check out a movie that she's in called Nude Tuesday, which has received, don't just get it from me, folks, a five-star review in The Guardian. You ever heard of that? Little little rag one of the big ones and i'll tell you who else gave it a pretty positive review guy montgomery on letterboxd i'm not afraid to call it how i see it how many stars uh i actually didn't start i said full disclosure i'm friends with the people who made this movie,

and then I gave a review which said, and this movie ruled. That rocks. It's a very impressive bit of work. And I will say this, if anyone's interested to hear an even more earnest Timbo, if you could imagine such a thing, a big part of the reason why

I haven't been able to get to the Killiany episode this week is because I've been working like a dog to get a podcast out that is sort of promoting the film, essentially. I interviewed a whole bunch of people associated with the production of New Tuesday and that will be out very soon. I think it's important probably for context.

If you don't know, New Tuesday is a film made by our friends Jackie Van Beek and Armand Ballantyne, and the reason that it's a unique film, and it's, you know, aside from being brilliant on its own terms, additionally, there are some mechanics which make it a fascinating case study.

So it was a movie written by jackie van beek in english about a sort of a married couple who are you know they're in the not the doldrums but they're in a boring stage of their relationship they've got kids they're not excited and they go to some sort of tantric mountain retreat and this was written in english it was given to the actors. The actors learned the script. They rehearsed the script in English. And then when it came to shooting the script, they all spoke in a gibberish derived of sort of broad Scandinavian accents. A conlang.

I learned that term from doing the podcast. A conlang. It's a constructed language. Or a spielang. A spielang. Even a newer term. Those both sound like words from the movie so they perform the whole movie in this gibberish and then it was edited the edit was locked off and then it

was sent to a fantastic this the version i saw a fantastic comedian and writer in britain called julia davis who wrote independent of knowing anything about the movie an entire brand new set of subtitles so when you watch the movie it's subtitled in english written by someone who has nothing to do with the original story or any concept of what the movie was meant to be about and uh everything sings it's just crazy that it works it's crazy you got funding to be made yeah they had to do a little test shoot for it. But anyway, look, new Tuesday. You've got to see it, folks.

You've got to bring your mates. Movies, very hard to make. Oh, they're tricky. They're so difficult, and they're very hard to get funding for. So you've got to go out and see the good ones. Let the fuckers know that this one's a goodie. And we do that by manipulating the box office numbers yeah i don't care if you're in america to defeat the hollywood machine one must first understand

the hollywood machine and to understand the hollywood machine you must engage with the hollywood machine we must as one of the smallest, yeah, lowest level cogs. But once you're in the machine, it's easy to work your way up. Anyhow. Now, speaking of the Hollywood machine, Guy, usually I clear it with you first if I'm going to make an announcement on the podcast. And I always say I should never make announcements on the podcast

before we've actually recorded them. Because it's a terrible idea because we're always we plan shit and then we can't find the time to do it and it just turns into a nightmare however um let me let me put this out there as an exchange for the kill uni episode being tardy and also i'm away this weekend guys so i can't even do it over the weekend it's fine where are you going this weekend well I was going on a tramp with some friends, but the weather has turned, so now we're renting a school,

what was a school, and we're going to hang out in there for a couple of nights. Oh my God. Tim, you're going to have the best time. I'm so excited for you. Yeah, it's going to be very fun. I am kind of gutted that we're not going on the tramp though because my friend Nick had booked this beautiful hut very fun um i am kind of gutted that we're not going on the tramp though because

my friend nick had booked this beautiful hut eight months ago didn't tell any of us he just booked it and then like about three months ago he's like oi dudes these are the dates who can come we're like shit yeah but um the weather has to we've got the look this is very very laddish behavior but um someone floated the idea of bringing a keg of beer like a 50 liter keg in and uh it got away on us and we we we built a stretcher to accommodate it so we're going to carry that in with us on the tramp but the thing is it's very hard to do a river crossing um with a keg if the river is like in any way shape or form you know flowing and there's been a lot of rainfall recently so it's unfortunately gotten a bit risky in any way shape or form a river essentially

well we could do it if it was calm yeah research was done a lot of research has been done for this trip yeah you you missed the tramp element so do you plan on um sort of walking laps or rectangles of this abandoned school with the keg on a stretcher just to simulate absolutely absolutely i mean joe's joe's gone to the trouble of bit like you know there were there were schematics and he built the stretcher the stretcher now now exists. He's constructed that. And we've got the keg that was organized over a week ago. So I think we owe it to our past selves to do a little pilgrimage. All systems are good. Cut it round. But let me say this. Someone, I presume in America, gave us, Guy Montgomery, $420.69 US

on the provider. Famously the funniest donation. That we go and see Morbius. Yeah. Do you know what I say to that? I still don't know if I'm saying that right. Am I adding a syllable? Morbius? I think it looks like Morbius. Yeah. Do you know what I say to that? I still don't know if I'm saying that right. Am I adding a syllable? Morbius?

I think it looks like Morbius. In my head, I've always been saying it as Moribus. And then I had to look it up today and it was Morbius. That, let me, yeah,

let me find the donation because that is an insane, that is an insane amount of money to send us to do something.'s fucked it must be a bad chris m writes hey tim and guy consider putting this toward a little something called more bs if you can find the time together winky face chris who has left their uh handle, which I will now read, because that is the treatment you get when you send us $420. Oh, it's like a rastocrat,

but the O is a zero and the C is a K. So it's A-R-Y-S-T-0-K-R-A-T on Twitter. Have at thee. If you're looking for a hero, that's where you'll find one. Thank you so much, Chris. And I suppose what Tim is saying

is that we're going to be watching Morbius. More like more of this. Not wrong. Not wrong. You're right. shall i read a message to what are you feeling about morbius guy does this feel like a um like a doodle situation where we just fucking pout the thing over a 24-hour period at the cinema because i think it's still it's still at the cinema? Because I think it's still at the movies. I sort of vaguely skimmed a research. It looked like something that was going to be watched at home to me.

Oh, I see. I mean, look, I'd rather talk about that somewhere else, Tim. I don't want to say anything. No, I think now's a great time to do it. Let me look this up. Morbius Session Times. No, it's no longer a New Zealand cinema's gutted. Oh, damn. Okay.

You're a better actor than that guy. Respect yourself. No, I think it was exactly what I wanted to say. Now, it reads as follows. Good evening, boys. I write to you first and foremost with a sincere apology. I recently had a dream in which I was the producer of your show. During a recording session on a beach, Guy refused to stop adjusting a large sheet of plexiglass on top of a tide pool,

which led to a ferocious argument between the two of us. Later, Tim nervously apologized to me for Guy's behavior, but I was still upset. When Guy came back into the room, I pointed at him and shouted, You! And all he did was laugh at me. Well, I had to put up with a fair amount of verbal abuse from guy in this dream tim you were fine it's no excuse for such unprofessional dream behavior on my part i hope you can accept my humble five dollars a month your sub stack is a real life apology i feel like you've been copying it guy in the friend zone recently do you do you agree with that assessment look you can't blame someone for

what their subconscious is telling them and um if that's the impression that this author has of me then um i don't know what to say that's you know that's that's their problem i'll finish it uh it says thank you for making this show long after you promised to stop. It means way more to me than it probably should. Given the premise of this whole endeavor, say my initials. A-J-M-B. A-J-M-B. He's the person we want to be.

I like it. I've got to say. I thought there was more coming out, but there wasn't. I don't, you know, to share a dream is not always an interesting thing to do, but I felt that

obviously being in the dream is the one thing that can make it interesting, but I thought it was also well written. So thank you, AJMB, and thank you for the $5 a month. Here's another one, Guy. Can you believe we've got two messages It's not just the one This one's from December

Do you remember December Do you know what that was like I liked it I think Pre Christmas Is heading up to Christmas I mean Christmas was within it but this was sent on the third which was a friday gmail reliably informs me and this one is about deathblart which is a different podcast that we're on with the mcelroy brothers that's right

annual institution which comes out in November. This subject line is, I may be your top listener of Death Blart if nearly 10,000 minutes counts. Oh boy, here we go. Hi gang. You probably get a massive influx of emails all the time, but I think you might find this a little funny. I'm Esme.

I'm 20. I live in the UK. And I discovered till Death Do Us Blunt in 2018 and have enjoyed every episode thoroughly. But I've got to admit, I don't think I've ever heard a full episode because of how efficiently it knocks me out at night. I get one hour in and I'm gone.

I soon fell into a habit of listening to it to fall asleep. Most specifically, either the 2017 or 18 episodes. They're very good. I got my Spotify wrap the other day, and simply put, I managed to listen to 9,726 minutes this year alone. And I know I've been doing this for the past few years, I've just never counted my stats. But that is one week of this year alone,

spent listening to you guys ramble on and on about a terrible movie for the year in a row to end on a pleasant note. I truly love this podcast with all of my heart and I will never hesitate to recommend it to friends who struggle with anxiety as a way to find a break from the stresses of their life. And they also experienced the same results. Your silly podcast has had a great effect on me and my friends

and has led to some very restful nights. Thanks, Esme PS, attached us the proof, plus a testimonial from a friend. Got a screenshot here, guy. Your top podcast was Till Death Threw Us Blart. You listened to four episodes for a total of 9726 minutes and the testimonial reads thusly it's so good because you're not worried about missing anything important and they're just like lightheartedly joking uh around it feels like

sitting quietly in between a conversation your friends are having like tucked under the covers you feel all safe as they talk over your head and in like the 2018 episode they're all comfy talking and joking with each other and it just feels so casual calling back on old jokes and reminiscing and weird ways to watch tuck it quiet by your ear and it's slightly soft and muffled by the pillow i really love it it's so cute this is a conversation happening between friends where they're talking about how cozy this podcast is i love it yeah it's a it is um i guess uniquely positioned to do that because it is so manageable it's such a small number of episodes you're never at risk of falling behind

you'd have to say they're getting to 9 700 and i think it was 62 minutes but you know i did that the 10 000 yeah yeah yeah if you're a numbers person that would drive you crazy i mean for all the sleep you got from listening to the podcast i imagine you'd be up double regretting the missed opportunity. Oh, no. Don't plant that seed. Anyhow, I'm going to read something. It's from, oh, it's a PS. And that one says non-friend zone.

Oh. Oh. You want to hear from Clara no this is super punchy and it's like the way it's written it felt like

someone had to just get off their chest and then keep doing whatever they were doing have listened to 19 episodes of the first set of podcasts first time ever

listening to podcasts from me and I'm totally hooked fuck yeah dude hell yes dude First time ever listening to podcasts for me, and I'm totally hooked. Fuck yeah, dude. Hell yes. Dude. We're serial for this guy. $12?

Yeah. From Clara. And a note which reads, Well, boys, I think your sex in the city two days should qualify you for knighthood. $1 to you pieces of shit affectionate for every time i had to pause this piece of shit derogatory movie and put my head in my hands lots of love clara so clara has watched sex in the city two if i'm to believe this message and had to pause it a dozen times for how bad it was thank you so much clara that's not even once every

10 minutes but that's still quite a lot isn't it like if you're watching a movie the goal is always to do it in a one hit it's the key it's yeah it's it's the it's the 12 times is so many to keep having to pause it it's like oh boy that's a bad film and that's a bad flick man it's funny because i i relate to the wanting to pause but with that top of mind it's a real lesson in discipline because if you can just stomach the whole thing at once it's over a lot quicker if you're pausing it 12 times you're making it last at minimum 12 seconds longer. And you're talking to two guys who know about these things. Yeah.

We're experts. All right. Don't be fooled by cheap imitations and knockoff imposters. Timbo and Guy Guy. Those are the two you got to listen to. I've got another super punchy one. And, you know, you might want to answer this so you can gloss over it. The Frosty Fowlers guy guy often licked never beaten hey big fan of the show is curious as to what recording equipment you guys use all right you ready for this i have got a shore sm58a beta it's like an

sm58 but it's got a slightly hotter pickup and that's a good thing that is running into what have i got these days a zoom f8 i think it is or f6 and guy has got i got an sm58 plugged into some weird like bottom end extension by sure assure xtu it's got like a cable you plug into into usb which is plugged into my computer next message hi tim oh this one's just for me hi tim love your work hey this was written on christmas eve guy how cool is that hi tim love your work and i'm a devoted listener i think i've made a discovery of biblical proportions. On the latest episode of And Just Like That, you were thanked for your sacrifice.

I thought about it for a while and I had a revelation. You and Guy are Jesus returned. There is no reason for you to go through hell again and again except that you give so we can receive. I have registered for the local authorities as a new religion, the Church of the Double Kiwi Jesus, your faithful servant. Now, this is a tricky name for me, and I'm going to say Stymia. No, that's not it.

Because there's an R in there. Stymia. Stymia is what, that's not it. Because there's an R in there. Stymia. Stymia is what I'm going with. Thank you, Stymia. Our noble apostle. Yeah, that's the word, isn't it? Hey, fuckboys. Come on now.

What do you think about a church, Staten? You at the top. It's too much for me. It's way too much for me. Not your style? I am. No, no. You don't want to be in charge of a church.

Have you seen the Pope's throne? Probably in passing. It's not etched into my memory. me guy do me a favor do me a favor in in listener to this podcast do me a favor also do do what i'm telling guy to do google image search pope throne and it's not the big like golden one oh i don't think that's his official throne it's the yeah right like what what's going on with the wall of pain that is behind him? That's real. That's for some reason where he sits on his power.

It's not attached to the chair, though, that whole... Is that just where he always sits in front of that big freaky backdrop? It's where the official throne of the catholic pope the catholic the head of the catholic church sits man there's i don't know why though it's so terrifying yeah it's i think it's terrifying because it's modern it you know it's not like the traditional imagery used to seeing an association with the church it feels like deliberately currently spooky separate from its modernity it just is spooky it's like a bunch of a wall of spirits of trapped

spirits trapped tortured people spirits yeah and if it's not that then it just looks like i don't like it scary shrub or tree anyway the scariest of all the plants a scary shrub all right scary shrub come on shrub shrub you can set a big fire with a shrub take it from me i light them hey fuck boys feel free to use this on the friend zone your discussion of bad hangovers was delightful and inspired me to share a scale of hangovers i've created the intensity of your hangover is gauged by your shower the next day i find a shower including a little self-love well it's getting very confessional yes i, I mean jerking off. Can really help you even the keel after a rough night.

But the scale is based on my position in the shower for most of it. Standing is just a regular, a few too many after rugby practice. Sitting is more like after a big Saturday night. This person's obviously got a chair in their shower. I'm assuming. Because sitting on the floor of a shower is a very different energy. No one is in power if they're sitting on the shower floor. That's a very low status, in my opinion.

Sit on the floor of the shower, no longer in power. Sit on the throne for the Pope. You're scary and you're dope that's what i say too uh sitting is more after a big saturday night lying down as in a bath back supported on the tub head shoulders above what would be the waterline is for nights that went too late had too much booze and likely other chemicals lying down flat in the bottom with knees bent is normal for a blackout night. You get in the shower and lie down? Oh my God. I don't think I've ever been that bad.

Lying down flat in the bottom with knees bent is normal for a blackout night. And exactly once I hit fetal position. Oh, and exactly once I hit fetal position. Wow. You've got to be low. It was terrible. I'll use those descriptions to relate my sorrow to my wife, to her amusement. My worst hangover? I've had a few two-day hangovers where I used the shower gauge twice for one hangover,

including after my stag do, which was probably the drunkest I've ever been. 100% alcohol poisoning probably should have gone to hospital but my absolute worst was a very was actually a very innocuous night drinking draft guinness at a bar with notoriously dirty lines bacteria gets in there and can really fuck you up. I literally spent about 16 hours. This is grotesque. My sinus hurts hearing this, man. Throwing up everything I tried to put in my stomach with a headache that made me worried I was having a stroke.

I shouldn't laugh. This is crazy. Why are you sharing this? For two days, I was capable of nothing but drinking tea and lying on the couch, and the headache lingered for around four days total. Oh no. Wait.

But I didn't paint the bathroom with my own shit. So I guess it wasn't too terrible. Say my name. You just had a shower lying down, Chris. Take that, guy. The juice was worth the squeeze. You really got me. I was like, this is crazy.

Why is this so... You're making me laugh. I've never laid down in a shower man, that is next level I wouldn't even think to do it it's not even in my brain as a possibility of something you can do in a shower

I might have said this before in a podcast but I used to work with a guy called Gerald and apparently back in the day, he would bring a stool into the shower and a pack of cigarettes. Wow.

That's either the coolest or saddest thing I've heard in my life. I think it's both. And I need to know a little more about gerald to make the call i'm just thinking this chris lives in um canada from what i can understand and they do have playing rugby in canada yeah yeah people play rugby in canada i fully assumed he was a kiwi um they've got like short they're not long but they've got little sort of bath style bases you know something you can lie down and not comfortably but you're in a bath essentially you're not just cramped up in

like a shower cube which is what we imagine i think from new zealand or at least i do true good point but still you know yeah still dangerous if you give yourself alcohol poisoning and you just lie down while water you're waterboarding yourself really if you fuck it up here's a subject line that i want you to know about guy the subject line reads michael patrick king is definitely on to you guys this is dated the 29th of december 2021 it's from someone identifying as b and you know this is mere days out from new year's it's an important bit of the year a lot of stuff's going on crucially b needed to write us the following email dear tim and guy happy new year i've been following along with your recaps of and just like that with eager anticipation and have been

cackling along with the frequent assertions Michael Patrick King seems to be targeting you guys directly. I just wanted to say, it might not be as insane as one may think. You see, the first Sex and the City movie came out when I was in middle school, and I have vivid memories of seeing a magazine cover at my local Borders Books, one of the few places a young gay boy could read horny manga without using the computer he shared with his parents and siblings that showed the four stars of the series posing with their mouths duct taped duct taped shut it was a really striking image and though i never read the article itself it was a time out there it was a time out piece

suggesting the franchise had overstayed its welcome and there was no real need to make a continuation that cultural critics were that maybe that cultural critics were already arguing sex in the city was past its prime 14 years ago and hbo is still making it in 2022 is a grim comment in itself understandably the cover apparently caught some flack at the time and sarah jessica parker even sarcastically commented on it when she did an interview with the magazine years later so the cast and crew were clearly aware of it why is this relevant you may ask well if you recall sex in the city 2 has a scene where Carrie reads the New Yorker's review of her new book. And the article is accompanied by a caricature of her with duct tape over her mouth,

as well as comments on how she should take a vow of silence because her writing has gotten trite and irrelevant. There is no way this wasn't Michael Patrick King slipping in a dig at timeout over their cover mocking his movie. The fact that the film later goes on to equate Carrie having a mean-spirited cartoon of her being gagged in a magazine with the plight of women living under oppressive and sometimes violent regimes shows that the man clearly has, in addition to absolutely zero self-awareness an axe to grind when it comes to criticism of his work if michael was made so enraged by a publication having a hot take about his movie that he felt the need to write a scene dedicated to calling them out in the sequel it seems entirely possible to me that someone made him

aware that there was a podcast devoted two entire seasons to ripping his work to shreds i think we can officially say that you are through the looking glass gentlemen love and support be no postscript you really brought it home at the end there you dropped it like it was this very powerful uh conspiracy theory which i suppose it is and look i'm totally in on this uh it all hinges on you know whether or not we believe that the response in the New Yorker contained in the Sex and the City 2 universe was a response to a review. And you provided enough connective tissue for me not to lift up any other rocks.

I'm sold. So easily pliable guy. I am. It's one of my greatest qualities. Second greatest quality? He's got killer eyes. You can't see it right now because this is an audio podcast, but they're gorgeous. He's just a very tall.

Hey, Elon. Let's get away from the physical stuff. He's also a great guy, one of the great guys. Elon Musk just published a tweet that says crypto knight, like crypto and then night was one word so it's like kryptonite as well 10 hours ago

70.7 thousand retweets 162 thousand people like it let's get into the latest segment that we've added to the friend zone how's bitcoin going and the answer is not great The latest segment that we've added to the friend zone, how's Bitcoin going? And the answer is not great.

Well. Down 6.2% in the last 24 hours, down 29% in the last five days, and down 57.8% in the last six months, sitting at a wickedly talented $20,590 USD. Wow. I don't even know what it does. It's provocative, man.

That's the point. It doesn't do anything. People are talking about it. Do you want one more from me? I thought you were going to read one more. It's the point. It doesn't do anything. People are talking about it. People are going. Do you want one more from me? I thought you were going to read one more. It's your turn. No, I'm just relaxing now. But I'll listen to one from you.

Hello. In one of your recent episodes, I heard you mention Latinx. FYI, that term doesn't exist. And Latino is considered gender neutral in Latino countries, so they consider it weird when people say it. Source, trust me, bro. Other source, there's a link to a Reddit comment.

That is all. Love. Thanks and love your work. Good enough for me. Two sources. Thanks, emailer. There's one more source than our previous and I took that hook, line, and sinker,

so you better believe I feel this with twice the intensity. Blam. Got him. Thank you very much. Now what's happening, Guy? In my life? Yeah, okay. Yeah, what's happening in your life man uh

i don't know i might listen to a song after this oh yeah yeah you got any in mind now i'm gonna go on youtube and just click on the first video that takes my fancy. Charles Mingus. Do you know I've been listening to two artists today? One of them is Mr. Harry Belafonte, and the other is Lewis Cole. Who rules? I don't know a lot about Lewis Cole.

What can you tell me? I think he's done some tracks he's definitely like toured with um thundercat and uh most importantly he's i believe like one half maybe there's more but there's kind of two front people in a really great band called Noah. And he's also probably one of the members of Clown Corps, but he's never admitted to it. But I think we can now safely assume that's his project. Oh, really? Do those guys, they don't say who they are? Nah, they're like Tism.

Tism's also gigging this year, which makes me want to go to Australia just to fucking see them what's going on with TISM TISM's this band this Australian band, it stands for This Is Serious Mum

and they had I think like a few chart toppers but all their music's incredibly silly and no one knew who they were and there's competing theories one is that it's the well it was the wiggles it was like the wiggles alter ego because they were doing so much kids music they wanted to do some shit that was just like really fucked up really fucked up lyrics and fucked up music so they created this this alternative thing called tism um what is more likely is people were noticing

that they would only go on tour during school holidays. So they're probably school teachers who formed a band. But like one of the songs is called I Might Be a Cunt But I'm Not a Fucking Cunt. And it's about how like the dude is pretty bad, but he could be worse it's a really funny concept oh I like it I might be a what is it I might be a rock star but I'll never be a critic um I can't remember the rest of the lyrics uh did oh do you know

who Glenn McGrath is yeah are you a cricketer or something they've got a song called the parable of Glenn McGrath's haircut that's a good called The Parable of Glenn McGrath's Haircut. That's a good track. I was watching old Glenn McGrath videos recently and thinking about his haircut. The song's good. Oh, and probably their most famous song is called I'm on the Drug, brackets, that killed River Phoenix. I reckon you'd know that one if you heard it.

I'm on the drug. I'm on the drug it i'm on the drug i'm on the drug i'm on the drug that killed river phoenix all right time to wrap this up no i'm enjoying it i'm enjoying it but um you're probably right okay everybody well again my uh, profound, and repeated apologies that the culinary episode's going to be a little bit late. Them's the breaks this week. I am sorry about it, but it's the reality of the situation. If you're in New Zealand, you can watch Tim doing stand-up comedy on TVNZ Plus on a new stand-up series called Laughs Unleashed.

Yeah, that's it. That's the one. And if you're in Australia, you can catch Guy on one of the latest episodes of Have You Been Paying Attention, which he smashed. I was so divisive in the Facebook comments. I'm having the time of my life in there.

Well, I spoke to the person today who runs the New Zealand version of that show, and he said that you absolutely crushed. I haven't watched it because I don't even know if I can here. Can I? No, it's illegal. I mustn't. I'm forbidden.

Yeah. But look at us, guy. Look at us doing our little jokes on the tally hey i know what a luxury um well i love you tim and the next time i talk to you it's going to be miles away from these microphones it's going to be mano e mano fuck yeah we're going to strip our clothes off get greased up and hang out and if it's not before you go to the school to march around with a keg, have the fucking time of your life, dude.

Cheers, brother. Bye-bye. I'm not alone anytime with Tim and Guy.