The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 156

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS (or perhaps two) since Tim and Guy have seen each other and in the great words of Peaches & Herb, They are reunited and it feels so good! Tim has been working on a podcast with Carlo, Guy has been working on a TV show with Guy. Our one libertarian listener assumes various different identities to worry about our health, discuss performing in a strip show and brag about England cricket. We also get a special cameo from the great Ken Griffen who gives out a curry recommendation for anyone in New York. We love you!TWIOAT Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website / SubstackGUY Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / WebsiteTIM Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. Guy, the thing is, we need to be able to delate um us hanging out as friends without beating ourselves up for being a bit behind on our podcast obligations i haven't seen you for like three weeks yeah two weeks that might be it might be it feels like a long time which means that i haven't seen you as a friend for that amount of time but i also haven't um i haven't worked with you in that amount of time. And it's stupid because I know you're busy. And you know what? People's lives get busy.

But the fear is I'll be like, hey, man, we need to hang out. Yes. And then the hangout will become a work. All I really want to. You just want to hang out with your boys. I just want to spend time with you. The busyness thing is interesting, isn't it? I'm like, you know, I'm thinking a lot at the moment about okay you can't just be busy all

the time how do we solve it how does one solve this for oneself you know i mean you know there's a period i think or there are people where they take great value in their busyness. It feels very LA to me that people are, you know, they've got a lot going on and they're so busy, in fact, that when they're in their downtime, they spend it lining up how busy they are for the people around them. By the way, folks, the reason why it's so echoing here, I just decided we were going to pot in the lounge. I've got to say,

as mentioned, haven't seen Tim for a long time. Came in, lovely setup. I've always loved your dining table. It's a good table.

We've got some beautiful plants next to us. This is Brazilian rosewood. I don't think you can buy this anymore. Zoe found it at a second hand store

somewhere. We're podcasting on Brazilian rosewood and there were two award winning, freshly chilled milk stouts at a second hand store somewhere. We're podcasting on Brazilian Rosewood and there were two award-winning, freshly chilled milk stouts in front of our respective microphones. So Tim and I are podcasting

while enjoying New Zealand and the world's best milk stout. It's pretty yum. It's way yummer than I thought something called a milk stout could be. This is a very, very delicious full-flavored beer. So, Tim. Carlo left these.

The great Carlo Ricci. Do you guys know Carlo Ricci, co-host of Hosting? Yeah. That's a fun credit to say out loud. His whole family were here recently. Yes, they were. And that was probably... Oh, yeah, that's when I last saw you. That that was probably two weeks ago and that was some really quality time it's fucking

all of us fucking nice all of our families hung out hey children and adults are plenty the reason carlo was here was because he and i've stolen him away from guy and now carlo is co-hosting a podcast with me that's coming out at the end of the month. I'm so excited to hear it. Worlds colliding. Yeah. And ships perhaps colliding. Yeah, indeed.

It's going to be an interesting one. I'll maybe hold fire on that until, I don't know, the publicity comes out or something. Sounds good. But everyone needs to give that a fucking hoon when it gets released because it was funded. Also got an announcement. First of all, what Tim and Carlo have made is insane.

I was there for a very small part of it. Oh, you're coming back to do a little bit more if that's okay. And I'm coming back to do a little bit more if that's okay. But I've got something I would like to announce for any listeners who are in Auckland. This is the second month running. I've organized an event with one of my favorite cinemas in Auckland, the Capital Cinema on Dominion Road.

And once a month, it's called You'd Love It with Guy McGarrity. And once a month, I screen classic movies I've never seen, but people insist I would love. Because we host this podcast, Tim, people think I've seen a lot of movies. Yeah, you haven't. And I've got huge gaping holes across my movie-watching curriculum vitae. You're catching up, though.

I'm working really hard at it. And as part of it, I've organized a monthly screening of a classic film. So in August, I did The Wizard of Oz. And can I just say... How did that go? Fucking movie magic. Yeah, dude.

It was honestly... The fact that that was the first color film and that they buried the lead and i know and it's so it's not like the it's it's not like from a historical standpoint you're like this is the moment when it changed the color it's like no this is the second in the movie where everyone experienced it go to color it was incredible and so the way it works i choose the film and i screen it uh and i obviously haven't seen it so before it i write a little sort of 10 minute stand-up set where i speculate about what the movie will be about um so i did the wizard of oz and next month in september on it's the first tuesday of every month so on tuesday

the 6th of sept, I'll be screening, and this is actually podcast adjacent, The Terminator. Oh, sick. Starring the father of the very famous Patrick Schwarzenegger, the lesser known Arnold Schwarzenegger. Man, that's such a good flick. At the Capitol on the 6th of September. If you're in Auckland, I'd love to see you there.

Dude, Terminator's so cool. Have you seen it? I should come to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first two are so fucking good. I am so, like, I'm so excited. You don't really, like,

make movies like that anymore, he said, in his advanced years. I would like, because it's James Cameron directed it, right? Yes. He came up with it

in a fever dream. Really? I think he was on a flight. I think he was on a plane ride and he had the flu or something. He was caught in a nightmare where he thought a time-traveling robot was chasing him. And then he started writing it down and that became Terminator. He's probably got a lot to answer for with respect to other people then thinking their dreams are also interesting or stories worth telling. He's always beat him up for that though.

His one. He sees me good. Yeah. But he's like, you know, I think I saw you, um, bemoaning the,

the inevitable, like glut of, uh, feel good, uh, sitcoms in the wake of Ted Lasso, where it's like, for, for how good it is or how good it makes people feel it's going to be responsible for a lot of bad schmaltzy TV was that you or did I just

might have been I can't remember saying it but it does sound like the kind of cynicism I would weave online doesn't it but James Caron's always in New Zealand I'd love to get him to a screening of his own movie yeah that'd be good it'd be real good carlo and i were trying to get him on the pod actually of course because he also did he did titanic it's about titanic everyone the podcast you know i'm always obsessed with theories like this but i like to think that all of uh directors uvra can constitutes one cinematic universe so avatar titanic and the terminator all exist on the same plane of reality with the navi yeah from from yeah is avatar pocahontas is that what people say that's what people say i think yeah i think it's

just like yeah maybe the connection i don't actually really know the story of pocahontas um i've never seen any of the films. I haven't seen the Disney version or nothing of Pocahontas. Have you? I think I went to it as a boy. I've never seen

an Avatar either. Really? Not 3D, not 2D, not nothing. I can't wait when they release Avatar 2

in 2015 or whenever the fuck it's coming out. That year has been. Oh, 50. No, 15. That's when it was going to come out. I think around 15 you did say 15 that's when it was going to come out

right I think or around then anyhow that's all by the way Tim oh wait I've got another thing oh please yeah and actually

I might okay so like here's the thing you haven't heard from us for a while and I must apologize for that it's bad of us

guy's been beavering away on something totally his own that will be revealed later I can we can talk about it can you yeah oh yeah because it's it's a publicly announced Guy's been beavering away on something totally his own that will be revealed later. We can talk about it. Can you? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, because it's publicly announced. I got funding to make the spelling, the Gaimon. Don't say funding. You got green lit. I got green lit. I got money. I've been commissioned to make an eight-episode season of the Gaimon spelling bee.

Cue the fucking applause. I know. On TV. episode season of the gaimont spelling bee cue the fucking applause i know on tv and uh it's the most exciting thing maybe well professionally that's probably ever happened to me it's literally unbelievable and uh i now work on it all the time folks things like this don't happen in new zealand new zealand doesn't make shows like this there is the power of Guy Montgomery. And this is why it's so important that it's really good. Yes. Because there must be more. So that's what I have been

and then I've got my whole life around that. But that's what I've been doing by day. Beavering away on that. I've been making this Titanic podcast with Carlo that's coming out at the end of the month which has been hectic. I got laryngitis midway through us recording. Yeah, I saw you.

Sickness has befallen me a lot this year. It's interesting who it's targeting. Has it befallen Zoe? She didn't get hand, foot, and mouth or laryngitis. Good for her. She's gotten a couple others. She got COVID. Oh, everyone's got COVID. Yeah. She's got a couple colds. Remember covered and oh everyone's getting everyone's got covered yeah you got a couple remember if in new zealand if someone caught covered um the nation would stop and watch uh director of health talk about it at one o'clock

every day but we grab our nearest pitchfork and fuck that individual person that's up what a time to be alive which hands oh yeah so the other thing that just came out is i've got a podcast right um with some other i'm so sorry guys not on it but if it's okay i might put half of the first episode on this feed yeah if that's okay with you so people can get a little taste and see if they like and if they can they can sub it's not guy montgomery slander is it no it is so i get guest comedians from all across New Zealand to just talk about the worst experiences they've had with Guy Montgomery. Oh, wow.

And the really crucial bit is Guy could never listen to it. Be a pretty short season then. No, no. I've got 50 episodes banked up already. People were paying me to come on it. It was crazy. We don't even have 50 comedians. Where are you finding these people?

They came out of the woodwork i put the premise online i tweeted it i said look i've got this idea for a podcast and people just came in their droves this is the last thing i need right now okay this is not what it is it's called socrates walks into a bar and uh it's it's me and two other comics one's's called Nick, one's called Ray. Oh, yeah. And we talk about philosophy. But we recorded it like three years ago. And then I had forgotten we made it. Holy shit. And then Nick's been going around like pitching it.

And he managed to get someone to kind of like get a sponsor attached and everything. So now it's just come in. Now it's alive. With a sponsor. It's already it's already lapping the worst idea of all time i know i know but um that's how it goes we've got lots of sponsors they just don't give us anything but any any product we mentioned the podcast is a sponsor no we've got sponsors all of those we're sponsored by kfc now aren't we all those great ads you hear

i wish we're sponsored by taco bell aren't we taco bell ring the bell ding ding taco time it's time for the taco time with tim and guy this sounds good we should do a what do they call that when you make a bit of content for the corporation uh career suicide walked into that one should we hear from our friends see what they're up to oh it's been a minute i feel so badly but i'm i mean i'm excited to hear from our friends but tim truly from the bottom of my heart as interpersonally i'm so grateful to see you i'm so grateful for you you're a great man i love you and if this is too earnest for the podcast just put a bleep over all that part i'm not gonna bleep that at all i'm gonna put it on loop okay and uh so i love you

too buddy it's so good to see you once i've finished'm going to put it on loop okay and uh so i love you too buddy it's so good to see you once i've finished you need to hang out more we might even do it off off mic at some point you never know come to the terminator what date did you say uh tuesday september 6th singham and awakuni oh my god that going to be so fun. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. Do you want a review? Is that someone left for us? Yeah. It's four stars.

Okay. I started listening to this over a series of depressive episodes, and season two has become an extremely comforting presence. The podcast overall, and season two specifically, has its problematic moments, but overall it's so comfortable and welcoming, I definitely recommend it. A massive thank you to the boys

for hurting themselves with movies for our amusement. You've helped me through some dark spots and I appreciate y'all's sacrifice. And that is from Eliza the Houseplant. I'd love to read that houseplant's five star review of something. It really does read like a five star.

If you don't give us the five, you've got to put in the note for improvement. No, there was a mention of problematic content on there. Oh, I see. Which, I don't know what it is. It definitely will exist. And I don't really have any desire to revisit it. Is that bad?

No, I mean, I feel like we do a pretty good job and our listeners are very generous and understanding in self-improvement occurring in real time across the seasons of the podcast. Is this true? Yeah. Do you feel like that's true? I would agree with that.

I feel like that's true. We've put out so, so much. Wow, this is the thing. So many hours of us talking that I think people get the vibe that you know we try we're not the smartest boys in the world but you know our hearts in the right place we're not the stupidest hey no that would be guy montgomery and you can hear more about it on the new podcast i put a sock in it that's a good name for a podcast. It's just like, I don't know. You'd be shutting down conversation.

No, it's ASMR of putting a sock in different places. Oh, that is good. I guess I'm actually now thinking of a podcast called Can I Put a Sock in There? Oh. And you're trying to fit a big sock into different... Anyway, this is the most recent correspondence we have on the Facebook. And I'm reading it because it opened as soon as I opened the Facebook. And it says this. Hey, guys, it's been a minute since you put out new twilight content

i'm worried one of you or one of your loved ones is sick or worse i kind of was yeah well no it wasn't worse i was just sick i don't know what i could do to help if you were but i could sit i would certainly try for now i'm wishing all the best for you. Hope to hear something new from my two favorite podcasters soon. That is from Shelly and Shelly. Shelly. Here we are. Shelly. Shelly.

Shelly and the Shelly. Shelly, shall we? Shelly, shall I? It's obvious we haven't been podcasting for a while because I can't turn a phrase to save myself. I was quite pleased with that. We're both a bit wiped out. And I think it's just so important to mention

that it's wintertime in this part of the world that Guy and I inhabit. And we can't escape it because flights are off, kind of. Do you miss LA? I've missed it so much. Same. You know, it'd blow your mind how much I miss it.

I actually, this is a bit starfucky, but I got a big kick recently on both friends of the podcast, actually, Melanie Linsky and on Iowa Debris Instagram. These are two women who are just absolutely so brilliant and talented and have both somehow been roped into being affiliated with the worst leader of all time. They were both posting on Instagram stories they met each other

and they were both equally as excited to meet one another as one another. And I thought, God Almighty, I was really meeting only the top tier of New Zealanders and us. Now, I've got a message for you from Mac. Subject line.

Oh, the shock has. Don't you wish it could be Christmas every day? January 10th. 28 films, 29 TV specials, 21 derivatives, including a gay Scrooge, a gender swap Scrooge and a sequel. Countless TV parodies. A Christmas Carol is the most adapted story of all time. The exact number is not clear. Depending on how pure your definitions of adaption and film are, it's anywhere between 50 and 110 i have considered watching all available versions in the past but

why would i want to ruin one of the best stories ever told by turning it into an exercise in torture that's your job i propose this challenge for the next season of twilight based on your own interpretations of what is considered an adaptation watch every every version of a Charles Dickens immortal classic, A Christmas Carol. You will become the world's foremost experts on this winter tale. Only you will be able to answer definitively, who is the greatest Scrooge? Who is the scariest ghost of Christmas yet to come? And who is the most puntable Tiny Tim?

Kind regards, and Merry Christmas, from Callum in Ireland six months ago. Maybe seven. Maybe eight. Shit, it's August. Eight months ago. God damn. Anyway, Slice it, Callum. It's a pleasure to hear from you. I hope you're enjoying the world-famous Irish

summer and I hope you enjoyed the Irish rugby team's recent victory of the All Blacks here in New Zealand. Congrats. And also the Irish rugby team's recent victory of the All Blacks here in New Zealand Congrats and also the Black Caps recent victory of the Irish cricket team over there in Ireland

I've actually I've not I've seen Blackhead as a Christmas carol as a boy I've seen the Muppets Christmas carol I've not read

a Christmas carol I'll bet it's a good book Yeah Have you read a Charles Dickens book in your life? I don't think I've read any Charles Dickens books In your life? I don't think I've read Any Charles Dickens books Ever

He is a funny guy I think he was a bit of a monster By day Like what In between writing Like so many of the greats Just lock them up Lock them up

Give them pen and paper And just keep them In their little tower What's happening there? Oh a little phone call It's a call from Ken Shall I answer it on the podcast?

It's totally up to you. I think you can. He'll like it. Yeah, okay. Hey, Ken, I'm just podcasting. Oh, nice. All right, mate,

I'll talk to you soon. All right. Love you, buddy. What podcast? Quick. It's the worst idea of all time. You're actually on the mic.

Hey, Ken. can you hear tim hey man how you doing am i your star guest am i yeah you're the star we've built this whole episode around the hope that you would call me during the record well here it is you guys better get some quick questions going what was the best part of your day the best part of my day was the yoga

session I just did oh made me feel euphoric did you get a euphoria kick yeah

in the back of my skull by my neck oh my gosh how often have you been doing yoga every Tuesday at 7.30 can you ask what kind of yoga it is you can ask by my neck oh my gosh how often have you been doing yoga?

every Tuesday at 7.30 can you ask what kind of yoga it is? you can ask once a week what kind of yoga Tim wants to know? vinyasa

vinyasa hey that's the lots of flows yeah yeah I've got another question for Ken hit me what's the best and I'm putting you on the spot

what's the best thing you've eaten in the last week went to this curry joint in Queens called Angel it was some of the best curry I've had definitely the best curry I've had in America haven't been to India yet but oh my gosh

the way the questions are being asked you know your life sounds like a highlights reel right now i've also got to know what was the challenge that you faced today and how did you overcome it well going to work is always pretty hard, especially with a concussion. Yeah, you're battling through a concussion. Just turning up to work and staring at a screen was pretty hard. And how did you overcome that? By emailing my boss 10 minutes ago, telling him I'm not coming into work for two days.

How did you get the concussion, Ken? I fell off my bike. the concussion, Ken. I fell off my bike. There was a good girl who walked out from behind a truck when I was on the bike lane. Didn't look.

Didn't clean me up. Oh my gosh. It was a yard sale. Did you buy anything? I didn't know. She did a runner. She took off. I was going to sue her or something.

Shit, man. There is... See, because she took off she was scared I was going to sue her or something shit man that is see because you told me this recently and I was worried the inverse would be true and that you would

ride into a litigious American and that they would sue your you know your backwater New Zealand ass yeah no

I should have been more woke to that I should have been suing her ass well I think you know accidents accidents happen. I'm very sorry you're concussed, but no lawsuits is a pretty good outcome.

Yeah, no, it is. Anyway, I'll let you guys get back to your podcast. Well, we'll probably wrap it up now, but I'll call you later, Ken. Okay, see you. See you. Bye, mate. That was Ken was Ken everyone Yeah

I've got a deep And abiding love for Ken Fair enough He's He's a very talented man In fact If you turn your head 90 degrees Oh my gosh yeah

We're podcasting next to one of his artworks Ken's an artist And a bunch of my friends I can only assume Under the direction of Guy Montgomery Went in together For a wedding present, commissioned an original piece by him,

and it has pride of place in the dining room. Do you know what? I'm going to take a photo of it. Yeah. I'll upload it. You should. You absolutely should. Take a photo of it.

I'll take a photo of us too. You definitely should. You should also do that. I'm having a really nice moment with you. That's good, man. That's what it's all about. Friend zone. Yeah. Shall I go? Yeah.

This is from a while ago now. The 5th of July. The 5th? Remember, remember. The 5th of July. The bread and the pasta and the wine. It's a bad look, Tim. What? This happens sometimes on my Facebook page as well where there's an auto-reply

by the Facebook bots. Did you send it? Or does it just send it? It just sends it. It says, Hi. What the fuck? Don't.

It says this. Hi, thanks for contacting us. We've received your message and appreciate your getting in touch. Listen, I didn't fucking want you to do that, actually. That's not our,

that's not what we're all about. You know what is the most impressive thing about it is the non-committal nature of the auto reply it's like hey yeah we got it there's nothing about i hate that i hate that so that is far worse than no reply that reply going to someone i'm livid well i'm furious let's make it up to Ben by reading out what he wrote. All right. Dearest Frosty Folk, a story, if you'll bend the air. And there's a turn of phrase I love.

I think it might be Australian. Sorry for bending your ear. Yeah. It's like when you chew someone's ear off, you bend their ear. Go too long. It's really nice. Contextually, I've just listened to the man Mountain Monty recount how an honest audience member found your show so fantastic

that they left your show lighter than they arrived, having left behind a significant quantity of effluent. Good writing. The story reminded me of an incident I was privy to back in the halcyon days of early 2020. The world was carefree and COVID-less, and I was a cast member in a touring strip show. The show would take us around Australia,

performing in most major cities across the land. I'll spare you the gory details, but needless to say, it was undoubtedly one of the happiest and horniest times in my living memory. Fantastic. Onward to the incident. It was amongst the last few shows of our tour and we were playing a couple of nights at the beautiful tivoli theater in brisbane a saturday night the

crowd was merry the drinks were flowing and the cast was elated the show proceeded in kind and it turned out to be one of our favorite shows of the tour as the curtain closed we were yet to discover there would also be the most memorable and guy's story after the theater had emptied he stepped onto the stage to behold a seat covered in powder a gaggle of bemused ushers and a story yet to be told the very same scene greeted myself and my fellow cast members as we prepared to leave the venue apparently according to the security and cctv not one not two, but three young audience members had been so powerfully stimulated by the show we'd put on that they simply couldn't help themselves. Guy, Tim, they fucked in the back row. Incredibly, they'd remained undetected by security long enough to deposit large amounts of DNA

onto the seats around them Jesus the group were eventually removed from the venue likely with some kind of ban and it's here my story concludes

in retrospect I should feel less surprised at this incident being a strip show I guess it comes with the territory sorry I couldn't help myself

I hope you've enjoyed this retelling love to you boys and stay extra well Ben right with the territory. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I hope you've enjoyed this retelling. Love to you boys and stay extra well. Ben, right? Yes. Let me open with this. Loved the retelling.

Yeah. Really, really good. Really well written. Man. People fucking's way better than people shitting in your show. Well,

remember that time we had that at the Monte Cristo? Yes. We did a Twioette live show and two amorous people got down to business in the middle of the show. I don't think I've ever been prouder of eliciting such a reaction from a crowd. Yeah, I totally forgot that that was. I mean, you know, we weren't even stripping. We were just discussing, I believe, Sex and the City 2, possibly for the first time.

Yeah, maybe. How about that? I don't think you can get better than that here's the ranking um a guffaw is good uh an applause break is great a standing o hard to beat but you can beat it because when people have sex in the audience you know you've done your job can you just um for my own ranking system, where does someone filling their pants sort of slide into this scale? Man, here's the thing about shitting.

It's sort of like all the things I mentioned are on the Y axis, and shitting is... It's like on a different sort of dimension of it. He's not wrong. Does that make sense? And when you're not wrong, you're right. Well, here's a message from i'm gonna say kale um i actually really like this and i like how it looks look at that look at that name k-a-e-l it's got a beautiful shape to it hey tim and guy thanks for the hours of entertainment did you know that the Pikelet King himself now hosts a podcast

with the other writers of In Just Like That? It's a mostly infuriating listen, as young writers explain their ideas, and Mattress explains how he tears them apart. One note from it is that, while remaining staunchly defensive of Sex and the City 2, Mattress deliberately kills ideas that he finds too reminiscent of the original sex in the city appearing to share your view that the tv series is not canon i believe this is good evidence for the argument that and just like that exists

because of you bye appreciate it love it i think it's kale couldn't agree more I think it's kale couldn't agree more did you listen to that? no yeah we did get told at the time I'm tempted I know

but you know when I stack it up against how little time I've found to pursue the parts of my life that are just for me or that I enjoy

and included in that list is hanging out with you Tim I think that taking on a podcast to sort of ironically listen to that's half for work and half out of my own curiosity is

it's not inside of the current remit of things I'm looking to take on. Well I'll do it Alright. I dare you to I double dog dare you to. I've got one Go on So this is a we were sent a message on the 15th of june fuck it's cool that

people message us on can i say that yeah you can and then get this they send a follow-up because it was just was sitting there and unacknowledged oh on the 7th of july and the message they sent on the 15th of june was an image uh can i see it or are you going to describe i'll read you the message first then i'll show you the image so it says hey there boys i'm sure you've got a lot of messages to get through but i just wanted to check that you read my picture of a man that i sent to you i was particularly looking forward to hearing guy weep as you read it much love to tim as always the picture tim is a photo of uh english cricketer johnny berstow mid sort of triumphant leap with his helmet off and his bat about to be raised in the air

because at the time the image was taken, he'd just scored a match-turning and winning century for the English Test team against the Black Caps in our recent whitewash test tour of England. So this was a sort of a collegial ribbing, a sort of a well-intentioned antagonistic missive sent towards me because, you know, it's established I like cricket and evidently so too does this listener and we support opposing teams. So I'd like to say congratulations to the English cricket team, of course. It is notable that the turnaround has been held by both a New Zealand coach

and captain. And look, we were totally outplayed in the series. And, you know, you might not know this, but it's sent a lot of New Zealand cricket fans into a bit of a fear of an identity crisis forming. New Zealand sports fans have got to fucking get a grip. Nah. Between this and the All Blacks,

it's like, guys, fucking calm down. Nah, it's nice to have something to think about that isn't your own life. It's true. That's what sports are there for. It's true, but have a modicum of proportionality to the thing. Do you know one of the best days I had in the last month was watching the All Blacks game from the weekend just been?

And that wouldn't have been possible without them losing so many games beforehand. Oh, was that the South Africa game? Yeah. I understand sports now, Guy, because I'm betting on things. Oh, I bet on that too. I actually won some money on that game. Good on you. Yeah.

Nice one. You're in a betting syndicate. Can I see the image? You can. It might be my turn soon, actually, to pick a bet. Because we all take turns. It's a turn-based thing. Oh, that's a real like, how's it?

Kind of a fucking cricketing pose. It's interesting to me that you're in a betting syndicate because you're not naturally inclined towards sports. Yeah, but you know what I am naturally inclined to? Gambling. Exactly. And so my curiosity is like, what is the system by which you deign

what you'll be betting on? Do you have any background knowledge or do you look at numbers and data and you think... For the team or for me personally? When it's your turn to select a bet. I don't dedicate like a huge amount of time to, I'm a real shoot from the hip kind of guy, Monty. You know this about me.

I'm a vibe guy. I get a vibe I go with it. You're a big vibe guy. But so on my first one, I bet on the Maori All Blacks were playing Ireland. And I just look at like, you know, a vaguely sensible spread with a great payout and i'm like this feels like a bit of me so i think it was you know it was like the maori all blacks to win by 12 plus or something or maybe it's 12 and under

and 13 and over maybe it was uh 12 and under yeah like they'll win but not by much and it was paying something like four bucks i was like it seems doable and it paid off i love that hit it so it's just shit like that man hit it the only rule in the syndicate got to be people no dogs no horses yeah but you can bet on anything and you obviously you can't bet on a you know if horses ran free you don't want to race them though if they're doing that i know and you don't want to judge the freedom with which there are a few videos coming to on my facebook algorithm recently of um humans performing horse dressage and horse dressage arenas but it's just people wow and i haven't watched them long enough to discern whether or not it is a comedy sketch

or if it's an actual competition that's taking place. Wowee. So, how about that? How about that? Are you into it? When it pops up, are you like... I'm sort of like... I smile.

There's a wry smile that crosses my face. How serious are the people who are doing it? Wry and wry. Those are good homophones. Spell, Tim, spell rye. R. You can ask for the word in a sentence. I don't know how to spell either version.

Okay. Okay, what is it? Okay, give it to me in a sentence. The baker cast a rye smile at his perfect loaf of rye. R-H-Y-E. Rye. That is actually how you spell a band that is called Rye. You could have worked into it.

It's great music, but it's not. How do you spell the... What is rye? Is that like kind of oats? Yeah, rye is R-Y-E and rye? Is that like kind of oats? Yeah. Rye is R-Y-E and rye is W-R-Y. That makes sense. And you can see why it's got money to be a TV show.

It's got legs. It's got a lot of legs. All right. Unfortunately, we have to wrap it up. Yeah, we've got to put a pin in it. It's also possible that the dogs run away. Rufus would do that sort of thing. He does now.

Really? It's sort of fine. I've trained him pretty freaking well. I put the timer in so he knows what a road is and he doesn't go on it. But he does know where the dog park is. So if I don't put that little gate down to prevent him from escaping,

sometimes they're just going, fuck this, you're boring. I often see him standing on the side of your road with like holding up a paw park is yeah so if i don't put that little gate down he to prevent him from escaping sometimes they've just gone burgers i often see him standing on the side of your road with like holding up a paw like he's trying to hitchhike yes he does he goes up north what does he do up there he just likes it up there unwinds yeah yeah big open roads a lot of fields you can feel tight in the city yeah he wants to get out of the concrete jungle. Got to get out there and earth yourself. Holds him back, man. He's a dog that needs a bit of space, and he needs to see the sky, and I'm preventing him from doing that.

And what's not to love about that? It's great to be back with you, Tim. It's great to be back with you. We're back, baby. And even our editor has been busy. So the person who does the sort of polishing touches on our Kill your near tv episodes uh we've just had the 48 hour film competition in new zealand and he is the like

city manager for christ he's instrumental in the national comp as well so he's um he's he's had a lot we've all had he would have had a huge well speaking of that i I actually, I was a... Oh, yeah, you fucking, I didn't even ask about that. I was in it. Yeah. With a team helmed by a sports team who are the very talented and creative Annabelle Keene and Callum Devlin. They're actually responsible for a lot of the great Beth's music videos. They got, they put a new, the Beth's have a new single and music video out today. Okay. I watched it.

People have got to remember a lot of things. Favorite song and video for a long time. Really made me feel good. Is it Expert in a Dying Field? No, it's Knees Deep. Oh, man, I haven't heard it yet. The Beths, Knees Deep. Look it up on YouTube.

Watch the video. Hear the song. Our notes is just going to be a series of links of things for you to do and watch and see and hear. This is the world we live in now. This is a homework assignment um but the thing that comes out next on this feed might be a little sample of that socrates podcast i hope that's okay yeah i know some people are going to get angry about that but immediately following that up will be a new culinary episode yeah it all comes out in the wash so go effing jeff yourselves it's been a treat what do you want people to do

priority one people are going to leave this episode get on been a treat What do you want people to do? Priority one People are going to leave this episode Get on with their lives What do you need for them to know and do? Like pick up the phone And call one of your best friends And just talk to each other about your lives And at the end of the phone call

Say I love you Yep And if you don't have a person like that In your life What I want you to do Is get whatever Kind of headphones are available to you and just go for a nice fucking walk, man. Just a nice walk.

And if you don't have headphones and you don't have a friend... Keep listening to us. Yeah. Out loud on your phone speaker. On the bus or train or ferry yeah peace and love

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peace and love peace and love peace and love peace and love peace and love peace and love peace and love peace and love

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