The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 158

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

Tim and Guy are resplendent in friendly relaxation after celebrating a birthday (Guy's) and a wedding (neither of theirs). They discuss the metaverse, the correct use of mens underpants and life milestones. In the mailbag, we've got a long letter from Tim C in Melbourne reflecting on their journey into parenting alongside the podcast before delving into a speculative, detailed and surprisingly humane Killionaire strategy for dealing with one Jeff Bezos. A book recommendation from a comedian named Dave Gorman trying to travel America without using a single chain franchise and in big relevant TWIOAT News: Rob Schneider is back with an old movie and a new movie! You should watch Finding Yeezus right now and if you're in Auckland, Melbourne or Sydney, go see Guy doing live stand up shows.TWIOAT Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website / SubstackGUY Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / WebsiteTIM Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. Wrong vibe, wrong vibe for the friendzone. I wasn't recording when you asked that question. And I shan't repeat it. No. Rest assured, I look forward to discussing it further. Holy smokes, it's the friend zone, everybody. Feels like it's been a hot minute. It really has.

It has because it has been. We've been tardy. We have, but do you know what, Tim? This is one of the few occasions where I feel like I've been connecting with you and spending some quality time with you. This doesn't feel like a friend's that we were coming together and you and I are both catching up for the first time in a long time.

I genuinely feel like I'm with a friend. You and I, we went to a wedding together on the weekend. Sure did. Went home, had a cup of tea, shot the breeze. Not just anyone's wedding. It was Chris Parker's wedding. That's right. To the beautiful Michael. Chris Parker of the male gaze fan.

The male gaze fans out there will know who that is. And even if you're not a male gaze fan, you're probably a Chris Parker fan. Yeah. And if you're not, well, you can sort that out. Just look up Chris Parker, NZ comedian. See if you like it. If you don't, toot toot sweet. Thanks for checking it out and keep it to yourself.

And if you do, you're welcome. But we went to a wedding. We went home afterwards, had a late night cup of tea, talked deep into the night. The wedding was so good. I haven't been to a wedding in a little while. I love weddings. I love the coming together.

I love the drinking. I love the dancing. Can I honestly say I had a cracking weekend that I feel was almost months overdue. I had a great run of events to look forward to, and I really got to remove the trials and tribulations of life and just indulge the way that someone 10 years younger might. I turned 34 on the Thursday. Had a lovely time.

Happy birthday, Guy. Thank you. On behalf of everyone. Wow. And me. And then on the Friday, I flew to Wellington and did a big comedy show in a big room. How'd that go? Honestly.

The gala. The Wellington gala. It was so good. Excellent. It was really a lot of fun. And then after that, had a wedding the next day. Yes. And it was just bang, bang, bang.

Here I am. Bang, bang, boom. Rested, refreshed, excited. And with one person who can really lift a dance floor, not that it needed it at that particular event. My God, it's your partner, Chelsea. Yeah. I actually feel overawed when I see her dance.

You get intimidated. I am so excited and happy for her and she's honestly cutting so sick that i feel like if i introduce you know my sort of ironic uh which is just it's it's i'm not trying to be it's just that's the level of comfortability i have on the dance floor maybe it will it will impede her ability to go as hard as she so desires would you take dance lessons do you think uh yeah i mean i'd take lessons for anything if i really wanted to improve at it but do you want to improve at dancing not uh one day yes but currently not to the point that i'll take dance lessons to to do it do you i mean you're you're you're quite a mover and a shaker you love to

dance i feel like i used to thank you for saying that it's very kind i feel like i used to have it and i ain't got it no more really fun memory i'm so tired now yeah and i remember on a on a um a young trip to los angeles tim you did some sort of flip i've still got it in me i can one-handed oh is that when i pop my knee yeah you really hurt yourself my meniscle it's um a lot of people will be familiar with this because it's sort of a common sporting injury but i did it um it's kind of like that shithouse white person break dancing move where you jump over your own leg with your leg like skipping rope it was a very off but also tore my meniscle does that mean you pulled it off uh yeah it's a good question actually

that's a fair question it's into like a whiskey slash jazz bar was it i don't yeah i can't remember where that was new york i remember it was in new york no no no it was in los angeles is it yeah because it was the trip when um we peeled off and i think you went to canada briefly and i went to Washington, D.C. Man. Because I remember walking the National Mall with a limp in the cold. Oh. My knee hurt a lot. The cold will find the parts of you that are sore and say, hey, Tim. How you doing?

Did you know that this part of you is sore? Yeah. And you'll be like, yeah, I already knew that. It's like, well, I'm going to tell you again and again and again. Loudly. But I reckon my meniscus is all better now. Yeah. It does flare up from time to time when I start re-engaging with running.

Do you feel... I feel 35. Do you? That's how I feel. That's how I felt at the wedding. I was like, man, I'm having such a good time, but there is less gas in the tank than there was. That said, you know, having a one-year-old. I've got a one-year-old at the moment.

I think that is the more relevant detail. It's the, there's no, like, catch-up on the sleep thing. It's just like, hey, guess what? You're not going to have a full night's rest for, you know, a year or two. You are already on a pretty non-traditional sleep pattern. Don't enjoy it. Hate the stuff. Yuck.

Broccoli and sleep, two things i can't stand and if you could get your head around those you'd be in such fighting shape i'm doing all right i um i don't know that i i actually i do feel i do feel 34 but i try to move i try to move with the fluidity of a younger man. Oh, good on you. I try to keep fit. Said it before, say it again. This is where I go to take hip-hop lessons, brother. Goals. My sole body goal my whole life has been Larry David, and it's a long-term goal.

I don't care what I look like in my 30s. It's important that I'm sinewy when I'm old. He looks great because he's like Patrick Stewart in that he's always looked 50 or whatever. He's the one member of the Curb cast who has not aged. And to that I say, what's not to love?

Do you know what I'm so fucking juiced up for? Dance with me. Us getting into a new season, proper, of Worst Idea. Like, I'm fucking pumped i i feel like kill you the killing air season has been like good and it's good to have a change and try new things but it's it's just for me personally it's been a slog and that has resulted in irregularity and i don't like it i like the irregularity and the tardiness of releases i've got to say i was

driving here and i was thinking you know it's always a delight to record a friend zone, to see my friend Tim and your beautiful family if they happen to be home. the prospect of week by week inconveniencing ourselves with a significantly larger amount of life administration and life filled out around the seams, but just getting in there, doing our business, siloing that time off to say, let's you and I live like we're 24 again. Absolutely. Consequences be damned. And there will be consequences. There will be big consequences.

I imagine it will probably make us, at at least initially and then probably to a lesser extent but ultimately across the span of a year worse partners and fathers yeah without question it can't not do that it simply must it's funny isn't it because it's not one of those things where it's like it will make you value your time with your family more. It will make you more tired when you are with your family. Yeah, that's also true. There's a lot of double whammy negatives to this. I think I'm still so excited about this,

and I think it's just classic us, isn't it? You'll be able to look back at this moment and go, oh, classic Tim and Guy. They were so pumped, and then by episode two, they wanted to fucking hang themselves by the rafters well and that's what I like as well

the friendzone is a real bellwether for how the broader project is going yeah um so that's something to look forward to it's starting soon

something to look forward to we've got to do the choosing of the Killian here though that is correct we must anoint uh our winner and you're part of that

and I can't remember how we've decided well we haven't really we need to figure out we keep making decisions on how we're going to do and I can't remember how we've decided. Well, we haven't really. We need to figure out. We keep making decisions on how we're going to do it and then I forget what we've decided and then a couple months go by. Rest assured, there will be a voting process and the top two contenders will be competing in

a live broadcast that will be released to the masses and one winner will be adjudged and I don't know that we'll be implementing their plan immediately. I must say that. But that's what's going to happen. I mean, do you know, all the while this has been happening, the economies have been tanking.

I'm sure that, you know, billions of dollars, some zeros are disappearing off the ends of the elite's bank accounts as we speak. I don't know, man. Those mofos seem to know how to play a recession. What do people say? They always say the rich get richer. Yes.

Because of trickle-down economics, that's good for all of us. Oh, hold up. That's a flawed premise, though, isn't it? Didn't we figure out that one was no good? I think if you give all of the money to one person, then they have the knowledge on how best to distribute it amongst other people. I think if you give it to everyone, they don't really know how to distribute it. Right.

Who's the one? Who do we pick? I feel like all signs point to Bezos. Although, you know, Zach's gone big on the metaverse. Dude, have you seen meta's share price recently? Which way is it going? It's so south. Oh, really?

Couldn't even tell you. It's fucking crazy. Correspondence? Posting more status updates to try and help out. Guys, get back on Facebook and chuck your memes on there, okay? You've had your little flirtation with TikTok. It's time to go back to bed with your partner. Zuck. How often do you check TikTok?

I don't do TikTok. I might start, but I don't do it. I put that one stand-up clip on there that went bananas, and then the whole platform scares the shit out of me, to be honest. I find it terrifying. Sorry to hear that. I'm just trying to figure out. I'm actually on Facebook now to get into our messages,

and they have made it literally impossible. It is so, I can't navigate it anymore. It's like, you know, our age is probably relevant to this, but we like grew up on Facebook really from our earliest adult lives. And now it is barely navigatable to run a page. I don't know where to. It took me so long. And I was like Googling to figure out how to create an event.

It was not at all where i would have expected it to be guy's still panning for time he's trying to get into the inbox i'm here you're in there now yeah that one looks like a fucking novel that someone sent through i mean do you kick off with that are you happy to are you happy to hear me read in my sonorous tone i I love it. Okay. I don't know what sonorous means, but I'm going to assume it means good. Yeah. I'm going to get a dictionary definition. It's actually a good word for spelling. Your good tone.

And it's an adjective of a person's voice or other sound, imposingly deep and full. Yeah. I would describe the baritone of Monty's sumptuous speaking voice as, wait, what was it again? Sonorous. Sonorous. Dearest lithium battery and bygone homily.

Or homily. Thank you for your delightful presence in my headphones over these many years. I think I got on board about five years ago. Maybe thanks to deathblast maybe mic check maybe free to a good home all outstanding podcasts well with checking out i'm so sorry to interject but just speaking of mic check you got to find out finding jesus oh yeah god it's so good alexi and cameron have launched an incredible investigative investigative documentary on the grouse House TV YouTube channel.

It's called Finding Yeezus. New episodes every Monday. Really good times. It's been lovely to hear your lives progress in parallel with my own. Cool. And to follow the always entertaining twists and turns you've spun out from the Central Podcast concept. My sincere congratulations on your respective stepfatherhood and fatherhood.

Thank you. And on your flourishing careers. Thank you. I've been inspired by your DIY spirit, never more so than in the early days of the pandemic, when the way you threw happening together in such a short time gave me a real feeling of possibility and global community among all the fam. In the time I've been listening, I've cataloged various things to write in about, so I'll try to barrel through them now as quickly as I can. 1. As part of the Friends Own Book Corner, can I urge fellow listeners to go back and check out the novel Providence by Caroline Kepnes. It was mentioned in passing ages ago that this book briefly refers to the worst idea of all time. I listened to the audiobook, thereby contributing to the Killian emission, and loved it. It's a charming book, bit of a spooky retro Stranger I'll say no more.

Two. I heard Peter Kim pop up on a recent episode of Doug Loves Movies. Everybody knows Peter Kim from his website, PeterKimPeterKim.com. It prompted me to go to PeterKimPeterKim.com. And it's looking sharp these days. Oh, did he redo it? Good for him. I'm going to see if it's mobile optimized.

Three. I looked back at the dates and realized that right when Guy was slogging through his back-to-back viewings of Sex and the City 2, Cursing Tim, COVID, Mattress Pikelet and The World, my wife and I were joyously holding our new baby in our arms for the first time. My man's been on Squarespace, I think. So it all balances out, I guess. I'm sorry, while you were checking out the mobile optimization of Peter Kim, Peter Kim.com.

Did you not hear that this delightful listener who has penned us this beautiful sort of reflective letter is a new father. Sorry. That is this big ticket. The website looks great. And Peter Kim is aging fantastically. Four. I was a few episodes behind, so I kicked myself to find out

that I could have gone to Guy's Comedy Special taping in my very own city. I love the one that's out on Bandcamp, so I'm sure this one would have been a delight too. I will note, however, that in Italian, if you want to say something sucks, you say that it far cagare or makes one shit. So the post-show surprise may have been a sign of a dissenting opinion from a sensitively stomached Italian. Who can say?

Huh. That's so nice to think about. Five. I believe the window is closed for Killianere pitches, so if you'll allow me, I'll sneak this one in here. Hell yeah. Not for competitive consideration, but for the love of the game. Killianere

Pitch. Before I get into that, Tim, is there anything you'd like to say, reflect on, or should I just barrel? Yeah, Peter Kim is in Bros, and I think we should all support that movie because it did terribly at the box office. Really? From what I can see of the trailers, looks like a great flick.

I mean, it's a reflection of the echo chambers I haunt on, the digital caves I keep on, on, you know, Twitter, popular platform Twitter. But the box office is bad. The critical responses. The box is bad. But the critics. Yeah, I know.

But that ain't going to pay the, that's not going to keep the lights on. Well, it is for the critics. That's true. You got me there. That's how they earn their money. Anyhow, onwards with the pitch. As I've listened to the various ideas that have been thrown around,

it's occurred to me that it's relatively simple to bump someone off, comedically speaking, of course. The hard part is ensuring you've got a tight grip on their assets after they're gone. I've come up with something I think will work, but we're going to need to get David Lynch on board. Fortunately, I think it's the kind of thing he'd get a kick out of.

Razorhead? Twin Peaks? Is that David Lynch? I always get David Lynch and David Fincher things. Twin Peaks is David Lynch. Okay, cool. I think Razorhead is as well. I don't think I've seen anything David Lynch has made,

but I might not have either. He's beloved and revered. So, David Lynch, Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah Winfrey, what do rich and powerful celebrities love? Of course, the answer is transcendental meditation. Ah, TD. And then he's written TM. He's written TM

and then next to TM they've put the trademark symbol. Yeah, it's really nice. Note. I came up with this idea before I heard that Guy was getting into TM too only confirming his ascension

into the ranks of the elite. We get noted TM proponent David Lynch to reach out to Bezos. He tells him he's impressed by everything Jeff has done, but he sees something missing. He thinks he's got the potential for true greatness if he can just overcome some things holding him back. First, he needs to work on his inner life to achieve greater mental clarity. Lynch is going to personally coach him in TM to get that happening. Second, he needs to get the shareholders' offers back.

He can't be everything that Destiny wants him to be with those small-minded naysayers constantly second-guessing his every move. Here's how he's going to do it. So you're going to take the company public? I mean private again? He's going to call a press conference and tell the world that he's cooking up something truly

world-changing. But it's going to require a leap of faith from the shareholders. What they're going to have to do is voluntarily hand over their Amazon stock to Jeff in exchange for an IOU saying that he will give it back at the same value in a year's time. At that time, the incredible thing he's working on will have been announced and the stock will be worth stratospherically more so the shareholders will come out on top but in the meantime they're just going to have to trust him no he can't say yet what the big idea is of course the shareholders

aren't going to like this but jeff will lay it on the line he's jeffrey preston bezos and he can bring the value of amazon stock down to zero overnight if he wants to. You think he doesn't know where the bodies are buried? They're going to hand over their shares within the next 30 days, or on day 31, they're going to have lost everything. The crowd falls into line. This tracks? Yeah. At the time of writing, Amazon's market capitalization is $1.29 trillion.

So there's a dollar sign, then a 1.29, and then on the next line it says trillion. That's why I was confused. So it's 1.29 trillion. So this gambit takes him over the line in one fell swoop. Ah. The problem Jeff then finds is, you wouldn't know it, he can't seem to come up with the big idea.

So did he not have it before he asked everyone for their stock? No. That's funny. He keeps throwing things out to David Lynch, but Lynch bats them back, saying it's clear that he's not yet sufficiently advanced in his spiritual journey. Finally, Lynch suggests that they need to bring in the big guns.

There are these two fellas, who seem like ordinary New Zealanders but who are actually enlightened members of the ancient order of Aotearoans a spiritual sect so advanced that they have no need for any external trappings to identify themselves

If they'll take him on as a disciple Lynch is sure it will turbocharge Jeff's spiritual evolution and he'll have the grand plan nutted out in no time. Jeff immediately jets over and within 24 hours is staying on Tim's couch and receiving daily spiritual instructions from the boys. The first thing they explain to him is that if in his time in Auckland he happens to meet anyone who seems particularly laconic and easygoing there's no

doubt that they're a member of their order, but he must never try to question them about their practices or mention the order in any way, or he could undo years of spiritual work. They then take him through a rigorous program of spiritual exercises, aiming to destroy the self and join with universal consciousness. They watch the same media over and over again, they engage in the mindful eating of various Auckland sandwiches, dance to edm go for runs in the beautiful new zealand wilderness take psychoactive mushrooms shit their pants and meditate in a tree at night on tim's couch jeff is periodically woken by

remy's crying and or rufus's barking which helps him to which helps to keep him slightly sleep deprived and more open to a gentle blurring of the boundaries of reality the boys assure him he's doing well and with each step in his initiation he sheds an element of his self his mode of dress his accent his name and hands over a portion of his assets in the final stage when 100 of his wealth is held in a trust by tim and guy he builds an effigy of himself a jeffergy, if you will. Love. Ritually dismembers and burns it and is reborn. At this point, Jeff Bezos is dead.

And in recognition of this fact, he takes on a new anonymous sounding name. A name whose initials point to the resurrection he's just undergone. Beth J. Zoss. In recognition of the great comedic gifts that New Zealand has bestowed on the world in general, and Australia in particular, he is now known as John Clark. The now John Clark realises that the mythical next big business venture was always a mirage, that his spiritual transformation was the true goal all along. Having shared every trace of his former self, he blends into Auckland society as a humble employee of a local independent bookstore, living a simple but fulfilling life, until he's tracked down by some US lawyers who believe that old Bezos is very much alive and slam him with a massive class action lawsuit from the former Amazon shareholders with their worthless IOUs. Alas, Tim and Guy, who in the course of conducting

the training have actually achieved enlightenment, have long distributed the funds to various worthwhile causes, andff slash john is obliged to pass a significant stretch of time in quiet contemplation within a federal facility first plot i've heard where we don't actually murder a person yeah technically in some sense jeff bezos has died it's like an e it's an ego death yeah i like that six so that's that's the entire i mean should we unpack that and then finish the message let's just press on okay six you once had a conversation on the pod about men's underpants that have the little window at the front and agreed that neither of you have ever used it not really seeing the point the advantage of the window method is you're not taxing the

elastic of the waistband Oh come on mate You keep pulling that elastic down each time The needle rises sooner or later It's going to lose its stretch And you live with lifeless underpants That flop against the groin of your pants Help us to keep themselves up

My man The old pull back and reveal method On the other hand Leaves the waistband untouched To bravely soldier on another day No listen to me If you are seriously adopting the window technique for the sole purpose of preserving the elastic band just that little bit longer

just fuck it come on man life's too short life's too short i don't totally disagree it's not a little bit longer if you're if you're not doing that every time you go to the bar so let's say you we i say conservatively twice a day so that's one down one up that's four elastic tugs a day if you remove those four elastic tugs a day across a week what's four times 28 that's 28 tugs you know i'm going to round down to 25 but but across the month, that's 100. Across the year, that's 1,200. Pairs of underpants that might only last two years. I don't know what the lifespan of a pair of underpants is. That sounds good.

Two years sounds appropriate. You will no longer be throwing out underpants because of the degradation of the elastic. You'll be doing it because of the degradation of the materials beneath it. The elastic maintains its structural integrity. The elastic hasn't been a big issue. I guess I've got pretty slender hips. Maybe that's why.

Is the elastic band an issue for you? Mine kind of like disintegrate around the top of them a bit, the material kind of, which I guess might be the pull up and down. No, the elastic band, they're pretty old underpants when the elastic band starts giving. That's what I'm starts giving it's happening simultaneous that's what I'm saying I'm like a huge advocate

for not buying anything you don't need to buy right especially when it comes to clothes but you know well he goes on to say to keep underwear for like 8 years that's the end of my list love you boys and thank you once again for everything you do say my name like one of your

French girls. TMC. Not really French but... The thing that should destroy your underwear and usually does is I think going in the wash that often. You know? You only get one wear

out of a pair of undies. That's right. But what that means is that you get many wears out of your jeans. Yeah. You ever put your jeans in the freezer? I think there was a period when I was doing that instead of cleaning them, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that about? I don't mind washing the jeans.

I will say I wear the same brand of jeans and they always give way in the same area. Where is it? It's like... The dick area? Underneath the dick area. It's where the back of the pant meets. Where is it? It's like... The dick area? Underneath the dick area. It's where the back of the pant meets. It's the seam, the undercarriage seam. Sort of Bifkin adjacent.

What's Bifkin? It's that colloquial thing. Oh, yeah. Hey. You gooch. You're playing with my perineum. I mean, I've got to say, I don't want to gloss over it, Tim. I'm talking to Tim, the author, not Tim, the friend,

or not Tim, the podcaster, I guess, because this Tim is a friend. It was a very thoughtfully written and thorough message. Yeah. And I can see that you've been sitting on a wealth of, you know, I imagine you may be running some sort of Google Docs or equivalent. Is that person's name Tim who sent it? Yeah. Oh, thanks, Tim.

Did you see when I said his name like one of your French girls, which was Tim C, did you think I was saying Tim C? I thought it was like, I thought Tim C was in it, not like Tim and me. I thought it was a first name or a first name. Tim, can I say this? I see. Yep, yep, yep, yep, got it.

I'd just like to say thank you because that was an incredibly thorough and thoughtful message and encased inside of, I think, quite some open and enjoyably reflective moments of life. We had a pretty solid killing there, Pitch, and the first not to involve actually committing the capital crime of murder. So full marks on the creativity and respect for human life on that one. So it turns out, and this is, I promise you, I didn't know this. I didn't know this.

I went on Peter Kim's website, PeterKimPeterKim.com. Very prominently, he says, follow me on Instagram. I went to his account. He's in Bros. That's great. He's in the movie. How's that for Providence? Is that the word I'm looking for?

I never really know what that means when they say, how's that for Providence? Providence the word I'm looking for? I never really know what that means when they say how's that for Providence? Providence. Like luck? Like fate? How's that for Providence?

Chance would be a fine thing. What's that from? Chance would be a fine thing is from Peep Show I think. Is that the Tooch? The Stanley Tooch in this?

Tooch-ay. Or is that someone else? Not sure. Hard to say. We should see this movie though. It looks good. Here's a message, guy, and it's for you.

To the frostiest of fellas, dear frosty fellas, thanks for having me on. It was an absolute treat. This is Jamie, who I assume was a Killiania contestant. I was going to ask if you'd heard of this gem of a flick

with none other than Mr. Robert Schneider himself, The Adventures of Panda Warrior. And there's a YouTube link for a trailer, I think. It also features my fave, Norm Macdonald, as always bringing a stellar performance. We've talked about this. We've talked about this. We've talked about this. At least from what I can tell in the trailer.

If that doesn't sell it, then it's also got the voice of SpongeBob, and I believe, though I could be wrong, Hilary Duff's sister. Is it overlooked? Certainly. Is it undercooked? I reckon it could do with a few more minutes in the oven.

Your expert opinion is desperately needed. Thanks again, boys. Jamie. Wow. Checking out the IMDB. A peace-loving soldier is transported to another world and turned into a panda. To get home, he must join forces with a flying pig

to free the once peaceful land from tyranny. I'll tell you who's been having a bit of a go of it online. Gone? Rob Schneider. Recently you who's been having a bit of a go of it online gone rob schneider recently what's been happening i haven't seen this he's just um he's an active twitter user he's an active something he's an active fuckwit there i said it and his his new film actually daddy daughter trip just premiered in Arizona at Harkin Cinema. Oh, good on him. I love those individual releases.

Man. There's a trailer I've not seen. Schneider's a fascinating guy. Have you been following this movie? Not as much as I might. It's quite hard to make a movie these days. It's quite hard to make a movie these days because it seems like every gosh darn YouTuber and Twitch streamer worth their salt has actually got like borderline cinematic video quality now. So when you see a movie that hasn't quite crushed it, you know, like we were talking about that and loathe the same to bring it up again. But Louis C.K. movie with Joe List.

July 4th. Yeah. And the trailer looks like really boring someone shot it on like the you know canon you know like photo camera not there's anything wrong with people filming their you know filming their movies on canons when you were formerly probably the most like you know the hottest comedian in the world at one point and you're still alive and you were formerly probably the most like, you know, the hottest comedian in the world at one point and you're still alive and you were known for like your HBO show, which was so well shot and whatnot, and then you put that out.

It's just. Rob Schneider's, I mean, and I know that our listener will love this, has been getting retweeted and featured on the popular account Libertarian Party Miser's Caucus. Fuck yeah. Advocating censoring someone instead of debating the merits of your argument is to admit your goal is not to expand knowledge but to suppress it. Rob Schneider.

Fucking Rob. And then he's retweeted an Entertainment Tonight article entitled Rob Schneider's daughter is still learning her dad's filmography. No shit. We don't need to talk about Rob, and I don't think we should. We don't talk about Schneider. Hi, boys. I think your podcasts rock.

Just a quick book top tip. Guy mentioned in Friend Zone 141 about chain outlets in america by coincidence i've just finished reading unchained by comedian david gorman who tries to travel across the united states of america coast to coast without buying anything food gas or a-com from a chain it's an excuse me i'm drinking a beer and i had to burp uh it's a nice wee travelogue if you're into that sort of thing. Sending lots of good vibes. Hope Tim is getting some sleep even with the new baby.

Cheers, Rebecca. Sent on the 3rd of December. Do you want to know why I'm so tired right now? Yeah. Nothing to do with Remy whatsoever. I forgot that I was on a podcast and then jumped on and I was on a podcast last night and it was we recorded for two hours started at about 9 30 and i had to do all my work after that because i came into the here the computer room to start working and then my calendar said hey you were supposed to jump on

a podcast like half an hour ago so that was embarrassing tim i love your computer room i like i i really just seen when you said, I came in here to the computer and do it, and you got your notification. I like you've got everything here. You're always set up, ready to go. You're a self-built, you're a self-made man. And it's something I really admire about you.

Oh, thanks, Ben. Do you want to see something cool though? I think I already showed you this. This doesn't really work for a podcast holy heck guys tim is altering the light state in the room using his watch it's pretty sick if i didn't know any better i would strangle him and accuse him of using black magic fucking warlock man that's me the podcast is called suddenly and it was an incredible experience guy on the podcast there's two people and they're watching all of frank sinatra's um filmography wow which is a lot

of them and so rabia and felix watched this movie. I watched the movie too. I was brought on for The Kissing Bandit, which is apparently famous for being his worst ever movie. It lost MGM $2 million back in the 40s. A terrible flick. Wow. I won't spoil it, but right at the end, I won't spoil it, but right at the end,

Rabia revealed that they went worst idea on the movie. And there's just a lot in there. Anyway, if you've got a spare two hours kicking around, I don't know when my episode's coming out. So you watched it. You were just like, you're watching everything. We've all watched this once. Felix and I were on the same page in a way in that Felix is a co-host of the podcast, but we both watched it once and also thought that Rabia did.

But then that was not the case by far. And in that episode, Rabia had like structured it so beautifully and told the story of this Australian named Peter. His last name has a P as well, but I't remember it kim no no um who like kept making these makeshift canoes out of oil barrels in the 60s 50s and 60s escaped from like estonia when the russians were invading came to australia because he was sick of being cold because he kept just like having a sleep rough and stuff when he was 15 16 got his way to australia kept making these canoes and trying to like get to different places like new zealand or the pacific islands and these amazing and no one's like recorded this guy's life rabia found out

about him because he was a fan of the kissing bandit and then like went to the national archives and it's crazy it's fucking crazy anyway you should listen to that podcast episode because i was too tired to like kind of properly respond to it but rabia rabia yeah rabia is amazing sounds incredible yeah speaking oh but the podcast is called Suddenly. So if you look up like Suddenly, Frank Sinatra podcast, something like that. It'll come up. I just want to say if we are talking about podcasts,

I've got to keep banging the Titanic sync drum. I don't know if anyone's listening. Two of the great minds, Tim Batt and Carlo Ricci, reunited or united, I suppose, at least with a front-facing project for the first time, and it is just an absolute delight. Carlo is walking Tim and a variety of special guests through his concept and conspiracy, not his alone,

that the Titanic didn't sink. It's, honestly, it's rekindled a love of podcasting I've not known for a long time. That's so sweet. Thanks, man. We've got a live of podcasting I've not known for a long time That's so sweet, thanks man We've got a live show in Auckland on November the 28th Carlo has booked his plane tickets Oh my god So go to, you know how you do Linktree?

It's like linktree.e and then slash did Titanic sink It'll be there soon And Tim, we're going to groove Armada on the 26th. Yeah, boy! I hope he gets over here in time. He won't. He's not going to make it for that. Yeah, he's got a busy life. If you're like 23,

fucking enjoy it. I'm moving on the 25th to my first ever house at the age of 35. I mean, I bought a house, everyone. I couldn't be happier. Finally did it. You guys have been doing that for a long time.

We've been trying. We've been out there. Oh, I've got these, what are these called? Bungee cords. And I'm just using them as exercise equipment while we're recording. He's trying to get sinewy too now. He's so distracted. He's talking about my goals.

Look, you guys, we've been talking for too long. That's not true. Haven't we? 37 minutes isn't like too long. I think it's too long. It's appropriate. Well, it's true. It's been a while.

But I just want to say, get hype, get swole. New season coming down the tubes really fucking soon. Yeah, dog. And we're going to be bringing a lot of the old Twio at heat, a lot of the excitement. Timbo's going to get some bed rest and limber up for this because this is going to be hot shit.

He's literally been stretching the whole time. Yeah. Have you got anything you'd like to, aside from your live show for Titanic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd just like to quickly plug, if you're in New Zealand, Guy Montgomery's got a fucking TV show

coming out in November. Oh, is that right? No, it's not coming out for a long time. It's coming out at some point. The Guy Montgomery, Guy Mont Spelling Bee. I know. I couldn't be more psyched about this fucking show. It's going to be crazy.

I've got to... This could be the start of either the usual New Zealand thing, which is one season and then it never comes back, which will still be legendary and gorgeous, or potentially a global franchise with you at the helm. That'd be fucking crazy. It's my dream for the format to get optioned by a different territory, but have the name stay the same.

And so in the UK, it would be like Nishkumar's, Guy Montgomery's, Guy Mont's spelling fee. That's really good. And everyone pretends you're dead. When it's the non-New Zealand version, they're like, we have to call it this because he's our fear leader and he's dead and we have to honor him. But you didn't die.

I am still charging. Hey, please, if you want to keep up with us, follow us on the dying social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. We're the worst idea of all time. Or twioatpod on Instagram and Twitter. Yuck. What?

A call to action to follow us on socials? Yeah. What are we even putting on socials? Have we got stuff for them to gobble up there? Yeah. What are we posting? Dick pics. Big stiffies.

Not even ours. It's a porn channel now. Just random ones. Also, if you're in Auckland, Melbourne or Sydney, I'm going to be doing an improvised hour of stand-up for you sometime soon. Mostly November. Find it at guymontgomery.co.nz Bye!

Yeah, do you know what, everyone? One final detail. Let me know if this is too personal. You can beep this out. But the whole time I've been in this room, there's been a high chance that Tim's son is taking his first steps. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, he's so close. We've got to get out of here. He's so close.

He's so close, and he knows it. Yeah, I told Zoe that if he starts to do it and I'm not around, just push him over because I want to be there. Bye, everyone. See you. In the friend zone, you're always home. In the friend zone, you're not alone. bye everyone see ya