The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 99

Episode Date: May 16, 2020

Tonight we gonna party like it's Friendzone 99 - CAUSE IT IS! Ya boiz have been reading like a pack of nerds and shout out to Eamonn Marra's 2000ft Above Worry Level. Also shout out to Kiera's BIG HONKING $200. And to Guy Mont-Spelling Bee and to Tim's HAPPENING live streams. And most of all... TO YOU! xo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well it's the Friend Zone with Tim and Guy. It's the Friend Zone, we're gonna have a good time. It's the Friend Zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time. Friend Zone. Hello and welcome to the Friend Zone everyone. My name is Tim Batt. Hello and welcome to the Friend Zone everyone, my name is Tim Batt And my name is Guy Montgomery And we are friends Yeah we're friends Tim and myself and anyone who's listening, you qualify

Tim I was just down the grocery store Can you see birds? No my computer's set up in front of a wall Oh yep Makes sense can you see birds no my computer's set up in front of a wall oh yep i can i mostly see the wall but i was down the local grocery store here in new zealand at the time of recording uh this is our last day of lockdown in effect and um i'm just excited to report that i i saw a run-in happen between a a woman and a couple, a man and a woman,

who obviously hadn't seen each other for many weeks. And they saw each other. And it was so familiar. It sort of predates COVID-19. There was like a mutual recognition, more enthusiasm from the couple than the young woman. And they said, oh, wow, wow hi nice to see you and i watched like this very dreary sort of catch-up conversation take place and then for the first

time in a long time in about two months i heard someone say to two people she visibly did not want to catch up with wow i mean we'll have to catch up properly again soon now that we can and i was like life finds a way guy that's disgusting that you watched that happen that was a person or three people depending on on how everyone truly did feel about it just trying to navigate their way through the social niceties of seeing people after an absence and it's the dance we do how dare you look it's like watching someone take a shit this is a necessary part of everyday life and you're watching it and going fucking gross this is a chance for a total reset this is a hard reset on the operating systems that humans have been running for millennia there's a chance for

us to say do you know what i just had two months to think about it i don't want to fucking see you guys i don't want to pretend i want to see you i've got it down to a list of 10 okay and if you're not on the list go fuck yourselves or each other i don't care it's not my business i'm trying to buy potatoes are you going to do that you're going to be the change you want to see in the world and approach people that you see? You're going to go down to the classic New Zealand's only full-time comedy club because you've got a gig on finally after these months of no comedy whatsoever. And you're going to see people there and they're going to go,

hey, we should grab a beer for proper. And you go, nope, go fuck yourself. I don't want to hang out with you. And I've decided I'm going to tell people now. It an entirely different it's not an it's not an equivalence there because if i'm in a situation where i can already have the beer like the beauty of the classic is you can roll social and professional obligations into one i'm not going to be standing somewhere with a bear in my hand talking to someone who tells me oh we should get a bear for real and say fuck off i say what are you talking about we're doing it because you're at work you got you got to go get

on stage you got to do your thing hey man i'm gonna be like i it's an interesting position because i'm gonna be so excited to see people like so excited to see people that i will be talking to anyone and also we're gonna to live through some of the worst conversations of our lives in the next week we are going to be suffering in our jocks everyone's got the everyone's got the same chat how was lockdown good to see you crazy times it's um it's going to be like a week of of just buffering before everyone's brains start to reload and we remember how to socialize. Jesus Christ, Monty.

Just go through the motions for once in your damn life. Don't overthink it. It's fine. Just let it happen. When do you want to catch up with me? Fucking whenevs. I'll do it today. Oh, we're not allowed today are we no i honestly am so not

across um the rules of what's happening i'm just like i'm just gonna stay inside this is what i do often i'm like the rule is too complicated i cannot be bothered reading the instructions i'm just gonna look on and see what other people are doing and then follow their lead ah yes of course other people they've never led us astray before they're the smartest people other people yeah that's how that is that is literally how i feel like this whole time it just it's devastating to me that i've just been getting through the days and there are people out there who are working on the vaccine i assume i assume that other people have taken that responsibility because I sure as shit haven't done anything to advance our cause.

You know what I think is going to happen is we're going to come out and all the scientists are going to get back at the lab and be like, I thought you were... Oh, I thought you were... Oh, shit. And we could have cracked it ages ago, but no one thought to sort of jump on it. Yeah, I saw a headline on the front of a newspaper today

at the supermarket. It said, New Zealand scientists in vaccine hunt. And I thought, what? We're meant to be hunting for this thing? I thought people were solving for it. This is ridiculous. I've got to go out into the bush? All right, on to the correspondence.

I've got to go out into the bush? Alright, on to the correspondents. I'm funny! This message is dated the 27th of March, 2020. Hi boys! From a friend who we've corresponded with before, actually. Hi boys, I'm back with some more movie theater knowledge. During your Do More Limited series, which I adored, by the way,

you mentioned someone starting the films in the booth for empty theaters. Modern movie theaters have a computer program that starts movies at specific times. There really aren't any projectionists anymore. What? So, as amusing as This is shocking to me. As amusing as the thought is, the projector starts the movie on its own. I apologize for giving you this gutting information as you were rightfully delighted over the idea

that some poor bloke just sat up there starting movies for empty theaters. Also, with a film like Doolittle, theaters are instructed how many showings throughout the day and how many screens will be shown on. I wish you the very best. Stay safe. and thank you for the much-needed laughter during this uncertain and scary time and i'm still happy to answer any other theater questions you may have much love nicky who is employed at a theater and gave us information we were speculating as to

theater programming for cats earlier in the year do you reckon there's still projectionists at the alamo draft house is i don't know i think i met a guy called i believe it's pronounced karen in scotland he lives in uh he moved to edinburgh he was from glasgow and he worked as a projectionist he'd sent me to the after the edinburgh franchise show went to the what he described as the best cinema in glasgow to watch once upon a time in hollywood and that was on film and i understand at these bespoke cinemas you still have projectionists but yeah i think alamo draft house is probably too big of a chain now they've probably got one film cinema and then the rest of them are electronic so you you know you get a few specialists but I think as a general rule,

that line of industry is down the gurgler. Do you think there's ever been a situation when a theater either didn't receive the file or it got corrupted or something and they had a big screening and they had to torrent a movie to play in the cinema? I like the thing. That's when you need a projectionist. It's a nice little bit of jeopardy

imagine that a big launch of a new movie and something goes awry and then all of a sudden you're on bit torrent yeah that's what 5g is really for it's for you to use your phone to save a cinema screening of trolls world tour to a packed house absolutely you want to hear a message from philly yeah hey there person frosty fellas yeah not the city of brotherly love a person i recently joined the patreon and i'm loving all the bonus okay so this was february late february in fact this was sent to us on a very special day leap day which we had which we had one of this year. I'm loving all the bonus content you boys have on there. My reason for writing you is last week I walked in the living room and my girlfriend put on Sex and the City 2.

It was truly bizarre to watch a movie I'd never seen and know exactly what was going to happen. When Carrie meets the girls for lunch after writing in her old old apartment i told my girlfriend to prepare herself for coffee guy it was glorious to feast my eyes on this patron saint of java for the first time and watch him absolutely demolish that cup of coffee my girlfriend was so enthralled with this performance that she had to rewind the movie because she missed the whole conversation the girls were having this managed uh this happened a second third and fourth time eventually i had to tell her what the girls were talking about because she just couldn't take her eyes off that magnificent man it was one of the highlights of my life thank you good boys for everything you do say my name philip britain fuck yes philip that is a hell of a life and a highlights reel well curated and you're so distracted with the image

of coffee guy because i'll note that he doesn't say anything um that you have to like put all of your mental energy into focusing on him and you can't hear a conversation that's happening in the movie well actually i'm i'm gonna this is uh spurred me on to jump ahead in the mailbag here there's there are some messages before but this ties in so neatly with a very exciting uh and interesting piece of correspondence i received on the 7th of april 2020 which says dearest tim and Mr. Halifax Montgomery. I feel as if this is a long one. Please feel no pressure to read this during the paddy,

or if read, perhaps just the second paragraph. I wanted to extend to you two good boys, I'll ignore that, my warmest thoughts as our globe enters these uncertain times do you think uncertain is the most popular word to describe the times unprecedented i'll put my chips on that yeah i would i'd put a lot of them on that too although unprecedented was sort of the the 50 cent option that people would use to sound more intelligent than they are and then the market got saturated with unprecedented. So I feel like we've deferred back to...

To this day, I'm not convinced I'm saying it correctly. I'm almost certain you are. Anyway, I wanted to extend to you two good boys, my warmest thoughts as our globe enters these uncertain times. You're doing a legendary job of churning out content when it is needed most. I'm so delighted to have the YouTube Red Pilot. I'm saving it for a particularly rainy day, as well as probably the last year of Patreon content.

Is the Secret Millionaire podcast still going? One day, if I win the lottery, I might join that upper echelon of chosen folks. For reference, that is a mini podcast that we recorded a few episodes of, but never really got our heads around. So the answer is no. I would like to add another tier to the Patreon and do that. And yeah, we'll solidify some plans going forward

if that can be part of the workflow. All right. This says, you two have been in my life. How about that office jargon from Tim? Oh, you love to hear it. It's disgusting. It's because we're currently... I'll speak to this after.

Sorry, you finished the message. You two have been in my life for close to five years now. You joined my journey during a particularly dark moment in my life, and for that I will always be grateful. I follow both of your careers with great interest and wish you all the best personally and professionally the reason for this hastily written letter is that i've made an absolutely incredible discovery that i think is an indication of your work permeating the minds of the masses on the american netflix the auto-playing preview clip for Sex and the City,

is none other than Coffee Guy. No way. All three glorious cups of joe are pounded in unison during the preview. Is someone at Netflix offering a wink and a nod to you boys? I've attached a screen recording as proof. No way. Brave boys. That's us, dude. to you boys i've attached a screen recording as proof you are why brave boys us dude that's fucking that's too unlikely i'm going on netflix right now it's honestly incredible who is this from it's on american uh netflix this is from ellie if you go to the worst idea facebook page you can actually uh no i'm rushing to my netflix account okay well

it's listed as happening in the in the us netflix and this yeah i know guy but it might be the same that's what i'm saying it might be the same everywhere i'm trying to fucking paper over the fact that you're typing shit into your computer by talking and you keep interrupting me to yell at me all i'm saying is it's incredible and i was listening to the dialogue in that moment because you've also got to look to the dialogue as whether or not it summates the essence of the film and the dialogue is samantha's saying we're all going to abu dhabi or it's that's when she pitches it so there's a glimmer of reasoning that it might be because it represents the movie but i think that's far more that's far

more unlikely than the fact that it is the greatest scene in the film and um someone at netflix knows we're out here um oh it turns out it's not in new zealand on netflix but i turned my vpn on and it worked which surprises me so where do you see the preview bit mouse over when you yeah mouse over maybe even a mouse click yeah clicks just starting it off i'm not in the right bit to see the preview um yeah the fact that samantha said what do you put our odds on man the fact that that's the bit where samantha says we're going to abu dhabi that's that's the big reveal for the film really isn't it well i mean there are so many moments to choose from it's um anyway it's fucking awesome is what it is like if anyone wants to experience the majesty of coffee

guy without having to drag themselves through the film that option is now available and this is not just a preview on netflix i messaged back Ali to say, thank you, this is an incredible discovery. And I responded saying, I checked, it's also on Disney+. Why does Disney Plus have... Man, Disney Plus has got everything, doesn't it? Terrifying. That's what they want you to think.

Hey, Kiera sent us a metric shit ton of money. That is to say, 200 US dollars. That is a metric shit ton of money that is to say 200 us dollars that is a metric shit ton fucking incredible gira is a huge supporter and great friend of this podcast and other podcasts that i do um like how to save the world a sustainability podcast that i co-host do you know what whenever i hear the title of that do you know what I think of? What's that? Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere alone in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night. Then I'd know how to save a life.

The world. Man, that is part of a genre of music which i think is my most hated like type always whenever i hear stuff like that i'm like it's raining you know like that's the genre i i agree but i like it it takes me back to a sort of weird um nostalgia of being a teenage boy hopeless in love not even in love just hopeless just like listening to that music and imagining i had someone to pine after when i didn't oh man that is so depressing well thank you so much takira and the message that she put with that is feeling for you boys right now a hundo for each of my cool dudes i also joined patreon finally god thank you so much

that's uh if i'm not much mistaken my guess is that this kiera is the same one who um pushed pretty hard for us to watch kung fu yoga recently she was engaging with us on twitter um i i remember her name so if that's the case thank you thank you uh once more for for bestowing upon us the gift of money and the gift of cinema yeah i i think um that might not have turned out as the patreon pal suspected it would i think they were throwing us that because they were like hey check out this digger and you and they were just like i love this movie well anyway you slice it thank you for that and thank you for the generous donation yes indeed um roberto sent a short message on the 20th of march so we're really

flashing forward now um to let us know that we get a shout out at the end of Conan's podcast Conan Needs a Friend, the Will Arnett episode when they're playing a game and that's all thanks to our friend

Matt Matt Gurley of Super Ego, James bonding uh i was there too all sorts of outstanding podcasts he is a wonderful guy and and conan needs a friend he's the producer of that podcast that's right he's you would expect producer and whipping boy conan is it conan is a very funny bully i really like it it's not like an aggressive kind of bullying it's like uh it's what's his assistant's name uh oh sonya sonya mosesian sona something like that Sona, yeah, maybe it's Sona. She's like, she gives it right back. She's fucking awesome.

But Matt, I feel for sometimes. I'm like, man, Matt doesn't want this. He doesn't need this in his day. He does. They talk about it off mic. He takes it. It's funny. Well, thanks for the heads up, Rob.

I've got one here. We're on roughly the same timeline now tim this is march 30th so not 10 days later and it's uh entitled redo more fellas i just finished the third episode and i want to hear more you've come up with a great format of going to the same failing movie multiple times in a row i'm sure having the theater to yourselves makes it more fun incidentally i remember once going to a movie late in its run and i was the only one there after waiting well past the starting time i went out to ask why the movie wasn't playing and the manager told me he thought no one had bought a ticket so we've sent the projectionist home early

what fucking bizarro universe is this where we've got contrary pieces of information from two listeners all of our listeners who are reliable and trustworthy sources of information yeah um after so you've seen the predictions some early anyway the best thing about this format is its versatility you can do this as often as you like the only thing that could stop you is if some worldwide catastrophe forced every movie theater to... Oh, oops. Okay, plan B. Fuck, that's good. Towards the end, you were talking about trying to get at the heart of what Doolittle really is. My childhood friend's father used to read the original novels to her.

I didn't hear much of them, but I got the impression they were about a world traveling adventurer who solved problems with animals and i'm pretty sure even a character even made guys joke about the iron ever man named dooliddle who does so much at least one book won a newberry though i worry that since they are 100 years old and involved a white man traveling to unexplored lands they probably have some racism earlier you talked about going back and re-watching the eddie murphy film i like that movie but i don't think it's definitive because do it all is based in a city instead of traveling the world plus he works with humans it might be better to go back to the rex harrison musical which was a natural predecessor to the 2020 film as it was also a big budget flop with a bankable but difficult star but by my

account there are at least eight different Doolittle films, a couple stage plays, radio serials, and some animated series, one with Tim Curry. I propose you extend Do More and make an entire season where you watch every iteration of the character and try to figure out just what makes him tick. I know I'd be on board. Rob Juergen Dukes.

P.S. It just occurred to me, I don't know what kind of social distancing new zealand is doing i was assuming theaters are closed for coronavirus if not the first paragraph of that message is kind of moot also say my name as always mr jergin i can report back to you that our cinemas have been closed. I've just Googled the Dr. Dolittle musical from 1967 with Rex Harrison, and it looks very colourful. I can say that.

There's a pig. I think there's a pig in a woman's bonnet. That's always fun. That is fun. And you know I love a musical. And I also love, love, tim carrey so what what production is he in of this it is uh and i love eddie murphy like there is a lot of um interesting vaguely promising ground to potentially cover i feel like i'm not willing to make an on-air commitment to

doing this but it's certainly an interesting proposition. I prefer, because I hadn't really thought about this as an ongoing thing, but I actually prefer this idea that that's a replenishable kind of format thing that we could do. That every now and then, we find a day on the calendar in a film that's currently out and just fucking give it heaps. Give it the day more treatment. Why not? Why not? I mean, it was a fun day it was a long day

but it was a long day and we did one less than i wanted so we could probably do four in a day yeah you can do four maybe five at a push but you've you've got to remember as well that we've got to fit in the episode records in between um it was also real like i i enjoyed filming them i think it was good uh having the video and i was happy with how they turned out on the whole man your video production skills uh fucking they're going from strength to strength i tuned into happening last night and shit you looked crispy you've really um good you've you've really you're a a machine you're a self-taught machine i'm really impressed and for anyone else who wants to be impressed by tim's video skills you can be

by finding him online also if you go to the patreon there's all sorts of worst idea video content buried behind that paywall or you can go go to HappeningShow.com. That's HappeningShow.com. Speaking of which, let's take a little moment to shout out your fantastic new project, Guy. Ah, the Guymont Spelling Bee. Yeah. Let's talk about it. Well, it was an idea I had from behind closed doors. Spelling Bee that I would host more in the style of Guymont Jeopardy

than your National Script Spelling Bee. And I've run three of them so far. They go out on Monday at 8.30 p.m. on YouTube through my YouTube channel. They go out live. I've had some fantastic guests. And it's a lot of like I've really been blown away by how much people have been enjoying them. It is really lot of fun it's a very simple format i pretty much create different rounds and put the spellers through their paces and we we talk and we laugh and it by the end of

it becomes really competitive and i actually find it really full-on and i get quite nervous that my friends are going to be angry at me because some of them think the words i'm giving them are easier or harder than the words other people are getting. But I just do my best. The next one's actually happening. It's this coming Monday. On Monday the 18th of May in LA. I'm doing a West Coast American edition.

And the spellers are Ayo Adebri, friend of the podcast. Blair Saki is a fantastic comedian. She's not a friend of the podcast, but she very well could be. Paul F. Tompkins, well-known friend of the podcast blair socky is a fantastic comedian she's not a friend of the podcast but she very well could be paul f tompkins well-known friend of the podcast and the fourth speller is i mean it's i'm hoping alice then will return to defend her crown but it's at 3 30 on tuesday the 19th of may here in new zealand to account for the the time difference 3 30 a.m 3 30 p.m but alice

alice is very busy, so who knows if she'll be there. But if you go to my YouTube channel... She could be on with Paul F. Tompkins, for Christ's sake. Make the time. Anyway, if you want to catch up on them, you can find them all on my YouTube channel.

It's called Guy Montgomery's Guymont Spelling Bee, and I plan to keep them going long after... I'm on the first one and I went heel on it and people did not take kindly to my storytelling

Tim Bat Tim Bat did the world the spelling bee a great disservice in the world and the audience a great disservice

in the first spelling bee I'm not going to say what it was you have to tune in to find out but it's a really fun format so if it sounds like a bit of you

get into it yeah big time um here's another message guy from william please i'm gonna do it as a beat poem or a song okay so i'm gonna try and find a rhythm in a hey hey tim and guy apologies up front for the long message i said the same thing on patreon eight months ago so apologize if this is a repeat each year i participate in a fantasy football league with my friends from college where the first place gets money and last place is punished the punishments have become harsher and weirder over time i mean i've heard this is we've had it recently yeah it's a great message i'm just gonna see if there's new information i don't know that have become harsher and weirder over time i mean i've heard this is we've had it recently

yeah it's a great message i'm just gonna see if there's new information i don't know that there is he said it's exactly the same one it's a great punishment and it's a really good uh yeah it's good message but we've covered it to be honest i was looking for any available parachute to take me out of the um terrible situation that i'd put myself in of reading that in the style of a song or beat ah well you're in luck you've already read it just as the message it was I got a little one here from another friend of the podcast Brian Edwards who is someone we first met do you remember Tim in Melbourne at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival we had a bear in the early doors this was in 2015 anyway Brian's written on the 31st

of march 2020 to say the content you boys and also the bonus of the content you boys and also the bonus of the heart crew sned heads for life have been a tremendous help during this awful and unprecedented time unprecedented thank you so much for releasing what you have i'm very fortunate and that i can still work from home and listen to these parties each day makes it feel like a regular work day i miss being able to go see and do shows so laughs like you all provide help ease that what have you two been enjoying to help get you through your days from brian edwards i'm delighted to show off that i've started reading books because i am functionally illiterate like i read so infrequently it's actually um shameful to be honest how many

books would i read in a year on average i don't know half seriously i do i find that so unlikely because i i think of you as someone who's well-versed in various different facets of the world and intelligent, but I suppose that you're downloading that information from articles, videos, podcasts. It's anything that's not a book. But I read, I actually really like nonfiction and I think maybe that's the issue

because I try to take on quite big tomes occasionally. So I'll read one of those for like two years i read a book ages like a few years ago called um i think it's debt the first 5 000 years and it's literally about the history of money as a concept and debt as a concept and it is like a thousand pages and by the time i'd finished it i couldn't remember anything i'd read in the in the starting chapters of the book of course it was so fucking dense um but i've read two well i sorry i finished a book recently and i've started another book and i love both of them and they're both non-fiction and the first one that i finished was um uh utopia for realists by uh what's his name rudger let me just google

this it's quite a famous book came out a few years ago and it's all about uh universal basic income and why we should be adopting that um what's his name rudger rud Bregman, who's a young Dutch economist who gave him hell a couple of years ago and went viral at, what's that fucking, I can't remember what it's called, the big conference of rich people. And he told them all to suck his dick and pay their taxes. And then the book that I've started to read

off the back of that is Chasing the Scream, which is all about the origin of the world's war on drugs um written by an author who has since been disgraced uh because of some plagiarism which is like you know bad but not that bad but anyway the book is unbelievably on the yeah on the sliding scale of crimes plagiarism is, uh, intellectually frowned upon, but certainly.

It wasn't even that bad. It was like, I think what happened is he had some quotes because he's a journalist from some famous people and sort of put it in his article as if he had obtained them through interviews he did himself. So, I don't fucking care.

This book is amazing. It's not, I just, it's the bottom end of plagiarism. What are you reading guy? You're just failed. You're a big, failed accreditation guy.

Yeah, I am. Uh, well during lockdown, I read a few books yesterday. I finished, I was talking about it for a while. Uh,

the left hand of darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin, which was a, a science fiction novel, uh, written in 1969. That is, it comes with this fantastic essay, which sort of espouses her views on science fiction and what its function is,

or her opinion on it as a writer. I really love that. There was some really fantastic escapism. And I'm also not usually a sci-fi guy. I've also read a book. It was a debut novel by an author named Ocean Vuong called On earth we're briefly gorgeous he's a poet it's a sort of really nice semi-autobiographical tale um i imagine i mean i say it's not as listed as a novel but it feels like he's put a lot of himself in it and uh in between i in between starting and finishing the left hand of darkness i fucking

devoured in about two days bad blood secrets and lies in a silicon valley startup which was by the journalist john carrey rue and that was all about elizabeth holmes and theranos and what a story if you have not consumed that story i for two days it was all i could do like i was just my entire youtube algorithm became Elizabeth Holmes interviews. I read the book. I watched the doco. I just took it all in. Really, really interesting stuff.

If you're not a reader, but you want to consume that story and it is fucking interesting. There's a really good podcast that ABC, the news corporation in America made called The Dropout. And I think they based a lot of it like on

that book and sort of took that book as a starting point so good and then uh just yesterday i started reading a book by a friend of ours a new zealand author writer fantastic all-around guy called amon mara called two thousand feet above worry level and uh the first chap driver to the first sort of um part within it was so funny it's a guy it's a it's a guy and a girl having cam sex and fuck me i was so blown away and happy for amon it's really good you can follow him on twitter at amon e-a-m-N-N-M-A-R-A. That guy's got the goods. Awesome. I got to get that book, actually. I got to get that book.

Yeah, well, I thought it was quite a good moment because I bought a hard copy from a bookstore, but it's a great way to simultaneously support local bookstores and also local authors. Everyone buy amon mara's book and it will be um presents for everyone for the next six months yeah i've only read the first part but from that alone i can recommend i can recommend it just based on knowing amon sorry okay we've diverted we're back to our dumbass bullshit podcast not not books fucking nerd yeah so i i've delved into the patreon which is what i always forget to do i've got a message here that's a year old do you want to hear it oh actually i've yeah i'd love to know what life

was like i've read that one i've read that one i've actually done let me go to amanda that one i've actually done let me go to amanda who's written in oh this is uh okay this is good hug and kiss no four months ago amanda writes to us dear fly guy and trim tim that's good this is efficient what a long strange trip it's been first six in the city 2 then six in the city then the back catalog then real rob and finally perfect week of cats commentary i like to spell cats with a z i find it to be very whimsical and i wonder would the film have been more successful with the z something to think about i'm ashamed to say that i have seen sex in the city the movie the movie many times i've seen sex in the city 2 at least twice including once in the theater and we are your friends twice as well what can i say i guess i like my numbing content with a nice color palette

and range of wardrobe offerings and a cast of attractive people so coley and emily radichkowski are pretty easy on the eyes, if you ask me. This is also why I will probably never check out the Grown Ups franchise. Rough. I am currently a Patreon subscriber giving one brave dollar to each brave boy. I'm happy that the two of you are reunited, though it does mean the odds of me running into Guy on the streets of New York are greatly reduced. I live in Seattle, so it's pretty unlikely i'll cross paths with paths with him in new zealand

thanks boys please come tour in seattle uh or if you come to portland again the superior of the two cities then come on a weekend we did we did we tried to go to seattle i remember looking up um trying to make that work on the tour yeah Yeah, I have dreams of going to Seattle. It looks beautiful. The birthplace of Starbucks. Are you fucking kidding me? I want to go worship at the altar with a Frappuccino. Yeah, I want to go and sip a Frappuccino with,

what's his name? Howard Schultz. Yeah. No. That guy's a fucking monster. God, it was funny when he said he was going to run for president. He did. He did run for president.

No, he said he was going to. He didn't. He fucking did. He was out there doing town halls, getting absolutely lambasted by Democratic supporters. Oh, fuck. What a good time you know if you ignore the terrifying and horrible outcome especially for those most downtrodden members of society american politics is the best circus on earth oh fuck i've stopped i've tuned out i can't i literally can't ingest any more of the stuff happening over there my thoughts are with our friends in america and the uk and to a lesser but still some extent australia

do you know what i have been thinking tim uh and i actually i i mentioned this on a i was a guest on an american podcast called only it was called only the best nuts but only the core a guy called hayden maxwell goes uh, 250 best films, according to this very heavily curated list and watches them. Um, but like, it is incredible to see the way that those two places have been crumbling. And to think that in 20 years or say 25 years time,

you know, America's whole attitude has been like, well, you're lucky for us. You're lucky for us. In 25 years time their international standing within the last century this is so grim most of our listeners are american and we love americans where's this going guy well it's just like i i just think if you look at if you look

at the most recent sample size of x number of years. America is on a very perilous downward trajectory, a slippery slope, and a huge shout out to all of our German listeners who will finally wash their hands of being the most dastardly country of the last 100 years. They'll be able to put an American saying, no one's listening anymore, guys. It's really grim.

I don't know why I'm talking about this. This is the friend zone. This is a positive place. Wrong podcast, guy. I don't have that podcast i would like to end on a much more silly and uh funny note this was from the second of april 2020 uh written in from andrew mckee just in case you boys haven't seen this and we hadn't so many people were talking about this existing but i hadn't seen evidence and i don't believe this is from the actual footage.

I believe that some guys at a YouTube channel or a company called XVP Comedy have gone to the trouble of making it. It's a trailer for Cats the Butthole Cut. And it is a sensation. If you look it up on YouTube, Cats the Butthole Cut, you can see it. They have put in all of the buttholes, and it is a very different movie. It's distracting. Honestly, it's distracting in the same way that hanging out with a cat can be, where you're like, oh, you're so beautiful and cuddly and fun,

and then they walk away, and it's like if their tail's up. Big old anus. I don't know if it's human nature or whatever. It's impossible not to look at the asshole. And that is available in trailer form for you so thanks to andrew it's incredibly funny i think you sent that to me yesterday and i i um yeah was having not the best day in the world and that really cheered me up it was fucking hilarious uh well i'm just because i've opened it now so i'm gonna read this one from andrew on the patreon hey I've been a freeloader for a while,

but just signed up to your Patreon after hearing the ungodly amount you spend to see this movie and bring joy to all of us. May I suggest as a special bonus episode, you inflict upon yourself the 1998 stage recording to see how the source material holds up. Thanks for everything. So I'm assuming that was Kat. Yeah.

So the 98 recording, that's the one with again, Tim Curry. I'm assuming that was Kat yeah so the 98 recording that's the one with again Tim Curry I'm pretty sure yeah fuck I love that guy he's so weird in a lot of ways he's like I think a less problematic and more batshit version

of what's his fucking name who was Jeff Goldblum who's been lightly, not cancelled, but lightly put on the shelf after a drag race outing Oh, I missed that

I haven't seen it, I don't know everyone was saying it was something One of the big things I would do if I was a celebrity is stop talking What would you do just go away just stop existing i'm trying to show you but i don't have the guts no i don't know i'm just like i actually i've got no idea what i'm talking about so i'm not going to have an opinion i feel like jeff goldblum also got lightly cancelled for um dating someone really young because he looks young but he's old he's an old man

he's an old man jeff goldblum is me do the math Jurassic Park was like 92 It'd be like 30 then How many years ago was that? Fuck, how old is he? 67 Damn, he does look good He looks fantastic

Maybe the secret to youthful skin is being slightly problematic and not getting caught for ages. He's more beloved than problematic. He's Jeff Goldblum for crying out loud, but he's no Tim Curry. Okay. This has been a friend zone of a different type, and it's our 98th one, or 99th, actually, which is huge. 99th.

This is friend are number 99 so um i'm gonna i'm gonna put us on the record now the hundredth one i want to do something special for so i i reckon what it might be is a um a live stream which means it might not happen for a little bit but we've we'll keep um home alone going the interim. I was a little bit late getting some episodes out recently, and frankly, I am sorry about it, but also fucking give me a break, man. I'm doing a lot of shit. So bear with us.

We'll get everything back-righted on track, and put it in your calendar for a date that doesn't exist yet, the live-streamed Friend Zone. We'll try and make it time zone calendar for a date that doesn't exist yet. The live streamed friend zone. We'll try and make it time zone friendly for people, particularly in the States. If you want to watch, we'll try and have it in an evening, maybe something.

And we'll be together. Yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. You gotta love that. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much to everyone for your support. When I was running yesterday, I just couldn't stop thinking about how lucky we are here in New Zealand

to have a system that appears to be enabling us to leave our houses soon. Genuinely, my heart goes out to everyone who has an open-ended quarantine remaining in front of them. We will continue to make stupid stuff for you to enjoy, no matter the circumstance. All our love. Look after yourselves. Be nice to each other.

Wash your fucking hands. And we'll catch you soon. Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. It's the friend zone. We're going to have a good time it's the friend zone with tim and guy because making friends is the best idea of all time friend zone