The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Eight

Episode Date: May 27, 2016

Shout out to KIRK LINDSAY for the Gameboy intro/outro based on season two's theme.In the friendzone this week, our good wee boys are separated by a big stretch of water known as the Tasman Sea. Using their wits and technology though, this has proved no match for them. References to Guy's university career, flashback cuts of season one, excellent fan mail and a political ending await you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the friend zone against all odds guy mont Montgomery and Tim Batt, United, Trans-Tasman, thanks to technology. Hey, Guy. Yeah. Hey, Tim. Big thanks to technology for this one. As always, big shout outs. Technology enables a lot of what we do, not just you and I, but we as a species at this point.

And I feel like, you know, when you get out of bed, that bed, you might not think about it like this, is technology. Yeah. And then when you make yourself a cup of coffee, that has been brought to you through technology. By technology. That's right. So big shout outs to technology. If you want to hear Tim and I talk about the great movie We Are Your Friends, the Citizen Kane of our generation, you're in the wrong place.

This is a place for friendship. It's a place for positivity. It's a place for us to talk to you about you talking to us and technology as well very important component of the friend zone the first thing i'd like to bring up tim uh this was a topic broached by madeline or at maddie vw Maddie VW on the tweets. Now on May 25, Madeline wrote, in season one, ep 24, Tim Bat brings up a Zac Efron child porn controversy, but then brushes it off. Finish off that combo this season, boys.

Do you have any idea what this could be about? I've got no recollection of that whatsoever. But from memory, Maddie did give us an episode and a timestamp for us to... Yeah, she says, Haha, at like 12, 20 minutes you read a tweet about Zac Efron being in a pedophilia ring, but Guy wasn't having any of it. Fuck, I'm a good boy. Wait a minute.

Can you get... Should I listen to it now? There's no way for me to blast it to you because we're on Skype and I just don't... I can't figure that out, but I think I could listen to it now. So what episode... Did you say it's season one?

Ep 24, season one. So I'm probably going to put the... Does she got a timestamp-y thing on? 1220. Sorry, I just read a tweet which really threw me off my stride i've do you know what i've done to prevent distractions such as this is i've blacked out my entire screen sorry i'll turn that i'll turn that shit off it's off it's gone sorry it was about zach efron and a potential um child pedophilia ring in hollywood but we don't need

to get into it you sound very muffled um oh yeah it's because i shut my screen which has got the mic attached this is a nightmare okay there we go now i've just shut twitter down there we go this is a hot mess of a podcast did you say zach efron involved in a pedophilia ring you shouldn't read we don't need to get into it we're not getting into it that's the whole point of me bringing it up the whole point of me bringing it up is that we don't need to get into it but why i see no okay i get it that makes sense well done i agree you can ask the obvious question if you wish why bring it up if you wanted to get away from it and the answer is i brought up to get away from it i mean it sounds like circular logic but you do what you've got to do tim you know what mate it ain't much it's just it's me. Apparently it was another Skype episode, funnily enough.

And I was on Twitter because I, I don't know, got bored of the project. And there was a tweet about Zac Efron. And I have no more information than what Matty has provided us. So that's that. You just listened to it. Yeah, I know. It's that brief.

It's just me going, me going i just read a tweet well big shout out to maddie for the deep cuts yeah i was wondering that because it's like obviously at different points in this project when you're talking about the same movie over and over you sort of engage and disengage so it makes sense to me that you were like just looking for something to talk about. And then now, obviously, it's in the canon of history and being brought up and used against you. Zac Efron's indelible fingerprint has been left upon season one

and then like some sort of fatalistic return to form has emerged the star of season three. Good on him. Good you say what would you say to zach efron if you met him right now would you apologize would you bring that up or you just wouldn't touch it apologize for what for bloody you know dragging his name through the mud no i think it was a i didn't drag his name through the mud. There was some twig that either he said. Oh, yes, you did. I did not. Yes, you did. Don't you stitch me up on this one, Monty. You took the good name of Zac Efron and you put it in the mud

and you stomped in the puddle. I did no such thing. You're a puddle jumper, mate. It's written all over your face. I'm clearly not going to be able to convince you of otherwise. That's right. Okay, so that's that put to bed. You got any other little morsels for me, Guy?

I really enjoyed a tweet from Michael Hastings at MW underscore Hastings. He found this garbage. He obviously lives in Lake City, Florida. And he found this, or Orlando, sorry, this garbage Summerfest flyer or poster, like sellotaped to what looks like an electrical outlet or some sort of,

I don't know. And it says, Summerfest car and bike show. His caption was, looks like Zicoli, Johnny Depp and Jarhead might be in Orlando soon. It's on Saturday, I'll give a plug,

the 11th of June at the Columbia Co. Fairgrounds, 438 FLCR 247, Lake City, Florida. And I really like the idea that after he smashes that Summerfest gig, his life goes back to shit

and they leave their housing record and wind up peddling like second-hand stolen cars and bikes fuck that's good that is just the kind of operation that i would expect from johnny depp and jar here today and that they're cashing in on the branding of summer fest yeah yeah hard out uh yeah those are my two the two things I was very excited about that's good I've got a nice little see I'm bringing up I feel like we're bringing up a lot of visual tweets this week

but there's a great one here from very underscore Vincent and it's a photoshop they've put together of like a guy in a squirrel onesie that you buy for a Halloween outfit Johnny Depp himself in a hat staring down the camera um jack gyllenhaal as jarhead as jarhead and then zach efron with that gorgeous smile um just

poolside and he's just smashed them all together and it's a it's a hell of an image it's very it's a it's a powerful image the squirrel guy the guy in the squirrel suit i thought at first that might be um johnny Drama from Entourage. Look, I'm not proud of it, but like a lot of young men, I used to fucking watch a lot of Entourage. You make it sound like you're in a Christian camp for either recovering masturbators or those weird groups where you've got to pray the gay away.

As a young man, I experimented with a bit of entourage in my weaker moments what i learned and i moved forward who didn't i was such a bad guy that i wrote a media studies 101 university paper about uh onto entourage somehow and i got like a b were you happy with the b or were you displeased with the b i as a university student and someone who put not a lot of effort into the garbage essays i wrote was always happy with a b i feel like you um you've taken an interesting stance on your life guy and that i didn't know you in your university days but it feels like you're really coasting there and yet and you're kind of more comedy world you're like a lot harder on yourself and strive a lot more which is probably the right order of things yeah absolutely when i was in university i it was almost

like and it was this work ethic i'd inherited from high school where it was like i was almost afraid to try my hardest for fear of not getting a good result and it was much it's much it's just much easier to not try and do okay and then be like oh yeah and yeah and if i tried i definitely would have got the a plus or whatever it's such flawed logic no it's not flawed it makes perfect sense and apart from the kind of emotional insurance that you you take out it is actually just easier full stop you know like it's it's just easier to try 70 rather than 110 i know what do you know before i was doing during the last comedy the comedy festival in uh new zealand one day before i did my show i was watching a lot of kendrick lamar videos on youtube yeah and i was like he's so good just like the music videos are obviously he has some control but they're

outside of control but just as like his lyrics and his flow was so good and i was like fuck man this guy's obviously just working like he's pretty naturally talented but the amount of effort it must take to be that good like arguably the very best in the world right now it's like god damn it why does it have to be so hard to be the best that that is exactly why you are correct it wasn't good for morale because i was like i'm not that good at comedy is you know when you recklessly measure Your comedy career against the best rapper in the world Yeah It's not a good thing to do

I used to get real bummed out about Kendrick Lamar's 28 Okay this is alright He's a month and two days older than me No two months and two days older than me So that's alright He's allowed to do better than me As long as he's older than me no two months and two days older than me so that's all right yeah he's allowed to

do better than me as long as he's older than you yeah okay so i've always had a big problem with kevin durant who's like former nba mvp he's currently eviscerating the golden state warriors in the western conference finals he's exactly to the day the same age as me oh that's right see athletes will always make you depressed man because they peak at about sort of 24, 25, and it's just like, what am I doing? I don't think Kevin Durant finishes a game of basketball and then goes and Googles Guy Montgomery on YouTube. I don't think he walks out,

like when he's walking out into the stadium before the game, I don't think he's listening to the worst audio of all time on those headphones. Yeah, but we don't know that as well by the same token. No, you're getting desperate, bro. Nah, dog. Maybe he does.

Lin-Manuel Miranda was listening to us at least for a little while. I would be pretty surprised and impressed if he still was. But shit, man, that guy's going to win all the Tonys, you know? Yeah, it's good. That's a claim. Yeah. Someone did such a funny tweet about Hamilton the other day. You still have a time.

I've got to find it. Fuck it. Tickled me pink. Maybe while you find that, I'll pay it out a bit. Yeah, go for it. I've got some other shit to share. So we had a few people who have donated to us on the PayPal, and I like to read their messages as is tradition.

to us on the paypal and i like to read their messages as is tradition uh robert sweeney gave us yeah and see what bobby sweeney yeah he's a good man he said hey boys still wrapping up season two great stuff i thought it sounded insane to donate to this until i actually watched the shitstorm that is sex in the city too The mental torture that you two have put yourselves through can only be described as horrifying. The toll this must have had on you has undoubtedly turned you both into extremely dangerous people. I know damn well that your weekly jolly humour is only a facade hiding the deep mental anguish

that lurks shallowly below. Hey, Bob Sweet, it's getting pretty dark over there, bro. Have you got some sun? I wish you all the best in not only your professional projects, but also the lifelong battle you have pressed upon yourselves to lead normal, healthy, well-adjusted lives.

Keep up the good work, and best of luck. Bobby from Boston. Bobby from Boston. Thanks, bud. Yeah, thanks a lot, Bobby. It's a nice message. Here's another one.

Theodore Harris. Aha. Aha. yeah thanks a lot bobby it's a nice message here's another one theodore harris aha aha missed the message on my actual donation probably shouldn't be paying for the worst idea of all time is it's just been a reason to procrastinate revision but your pain has been my pleasure over the last year also every other story is now on Stitcher as well. Thanks for the advice. Oh, that must be his podcast. Everyone listen to that. Shout out. Theodore was obviously someone who donated, I think, last week, but he forgot to put a message in.

Theodore, you greedy bastard. Two bites of the apple. Oh, good on you. He's throwing money our way, mate. I'm not going to. No, he's greedy. He's got the greediest guts. He always has one mouthful of everyone else's meal

when they go out for dinner, and he doesn't share his own. Bloody hell. Fact. Hey, I found the Hamilton tweet. Do you want me to read it to you? Absolutely, yeah. It's by a guy called Daniel Kibblesmith,

who, in researching further, is a writer for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. So there's a reason he's funny. But the tweet was, Hamilton was my idea and they stole it. I said audibly on a bus in 2005, and I quote, they should make something really good and popular.

That's excellent. That's good. I saw a mate, not even a mate, one of those people who's a facebook friend who you wish really wasn't and i should get around to blocking um what was he talking about it was some invention and he was like i thought of this first i um i'm getting sick of my kids thinking i'm a crazy man i thought of this idea in 2005 and it's like yeah bro but someone else fucking made it like there is such a giant chasm between you saying an idea out loud and someone bringing it to fruition you fucking dick oh man so stupid dude those people are what make

the world go around having those people on your Facebook news feed is vital for morale. They are the worst people. If you ever leave your Facebook open, I'm going to find out his name and message him saying you should catch up for a beer. I'll tell you after we're recording. I don't want to pay him out on a potty. I'm going to say we should catch up for a beer in a chat.

I've got some ideas I'd love to talk to you about. I've got this idea for a cell phone that produces a 3D hologram that projects out of the phone and if anyone ever makes it they fucking stole it from me Star Wars stole my idea for a phone Cunt Okay

Here's something from the worst idea of all time reddit subreddit twiot uh this is a short one they've just put as the header getting sentimental with james reed message i only hope we can get the fellas on for a guest spot in this segment do you know i when i went back and and was doing the little brush up edit Where I just like kind of patch up the audio so it's all roughly the same volume The reason it sounds so good ladies and gentlemen I was listening back to that Getting Sentimental with James Reid And I was so dismissive and I apologise

Because I tell you what, in retrospect, it's actually a pretty great idea for a segment You were savage towards me i was man i'm so sorry about that there's no excuse for it this is veering into podcast territory i just wanted to bring that up because it had been mentioned in a message in the friend zone so i definitely think getting sentimental with james reed deserves another outing so if one of us remembers it for next step, it'll be on there. Take it out for another spin. Absolutely.

Oh, there's another message on here from a few days ago from the subreddit that I just want to read to you, Guy. Season three, episode three. Finally, the fun shall begin. Message. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. The first two episodes of the season were fine

and it sounds like the feeling of newness is starting to fade rather quickly. But with this episode, we are getting hints of the real classic TWIOAT despair, and I can't be more excited. I don't know why, but I just love following these guys into the depths of despair. Thank you, Morlock8k. I worry, because this is the last season and we will be doing something different afterwards i worry that none of our fans will follow us because they only want us to be miserable that's all right like you know i can understand that if if this if this beautiful journey that we're on we're like people actually there's a few people out there who give a shit about what

we're doing and they follow along in our little podcast and then it all evaporates. Hey, what a cool time we had. Truth, bro. Hey, truth. Are you Pastor Chris Knoweth? Because you're preaching some truth. I know, I know. Hey, listen

man, you got anything else you want to whack in? Because I reckon we could probably put a bow on it. I know you need to get out of your hotel. We haven't even explained your current sitch. I do have some stuff to chuck in, actually, Tim. I'm currently doing the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Roadshow. I'm touring backwater Australian towns in the state of Victoria right now, and I might be coming to one near you.

So is this going up today? Yeah, sure. Today being Friday, May 27th. I'm going to be in Ballarat tonight. Tomorrow I'll be in Colac and on Sunday I'll be in Aries Inlet. So if you're in any of these places and you want to watch a great comedy show,

Becky Lucas, friend of the podcast podcast is also doing the show with me roll through next week I'll be in all sorts of other weird places Charlton Ararat Warnambul Warnambul

Warnambul all sorts of Australian places so that's what I'd like to say I'd also like to say Tim I really like and respect I'd also like to say Tim I really like and respect you and I think we've done a great job making this work

in spite of being in different places thank you very much Guy and I concur you're a real good man oh man there'll be people spewing onto their keyboards every time you're talking to me

and you start a sentence with you're a real if it doesn't end with a piece of shit Montgomery i feel like a fear an angel dies or something i'm not gonna fucking blast that out if i don't feel it you know what i'm saying like that is a sentiment and a phrase that i will reserve for when i feel it and it comes out often enough i'm not gonna force one out like i'm fucking bart simpson saying my shorts, okay? That's fair enough. I'd also just like to quickly say a big shout out before we leave. This is season one throwback to Will Arkell and Rob Searle.

They tweeted us six hours ago saying, we're about to watch Grown Ups 2 for the first of 53 times. Hashtag Guinness, here we come. And they've been tweeting. I'm pretty sure they just went to an REO Speedwagon concert. Yeah, is it those same guys? Yeah, and now they've just tweeted us that they're back home. We're back home safe.

Time to grind. Hashtag, you've got to respect that. And it's a photo of a laptop with Grown Ups 2 playing on that. You two boys are heroes and actually I've never offered this in the friend zone before but I reckon these friends should maybe join us in the friend zone in the future. Maybe we should get them on Skype and

have a brief little chat to them. We should talk to some friends. I just love that it says time to grind. Hashtag you've got to respect that. That really is very funny. That's brilliant. Also, I'd just like to check this on the friend zone to to utilize um people listening is it too early to bring becky lucas on because this is a great opportunity to do it while guy and her hanging out together never too

early for becky lucas i brought it up with her yesterday yeah uh yeah it's just because we're moving around a lot it's quite uh i'm obviously i'm legally beholden to doing it she wants to do it but it depends on because she leaves the tour on monday i think oh so we'll try and make it work all right so hashtag fuck the fans the vote is uh cancelled democracy ain't coming this year um you're just going to figure out if you can do it or not and if you can all the better and that's right so be it also a huge congratulations to um friend of the podcast donald trump on winning the republican nomination he hasn't won it yet they haven't had the convention he's reached the number of delegates has it happened has it happened officially now not officially officially, but he's...

Well, I think so. We can say the same to friend of the podcast Hillary Clinton then as well, if we're just bloody making projections based on mathematical certainty. But we know that Hillary Clinton is not a friend of the podcast. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are both close friends of the podcast. I think we're going to get them on. I think

we've got a date blocked in for three weeks from now, before their political campaigns start ratcheting up to 100. They're both going to come and on I think we've got a date like them for three weeks from now before their political campaigns start ratcheting up to 100 yeah they're both going to come and watch We Are Your Friends With Us good

fucking stuff because we are their friends and we are more importantly your friends goodnight everybody everybody