The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Eighty Nine

Episode Date: September 25, 2019

The fellaz are back in the studio desperately trying to catch up with your beautiful correspondence after a break. It's as if no time has passed at all, more sharing stories of gastro, more promises of content to come, more threats of divorce. Here's a link to the merch store we talked about and here's a link to the Little Empire Pals group on Facebook! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, come to the friend zone, and have a good time, yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time. Before we record Tim, could I ask you a question? Yeah? Tell me what you think about me. I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings. I only ring your celly when I'm feeling lonely. When it's all over, please get up and leave. Hi, everyone. Question.

Tell me how you feel about this. Try to control me, boy. You get dismissed. Pay my own fund. I want to pay my own bills. Always 50-50 in relationships. The shoes on my feet. I bought it. The the shoes on my feet i bought it the clothes i'm wearing i bought it the rock i'm rocking i bought it because i depend on me if i want it hey how are

you buddy hey man i'm good i was just gonna let you spin for a little bit there i'm just staking out my own independence and i'm so glad you're doing that. Using the gift of voice. Yeah. And the gift of gab. Tim and I, together again, were in Little Empire HQ, the studio, up the back of his house, here in Grey Lynn.

I was almost going to give out the address, but I didn't, because the friend zone is not about antagonising one another. Yeah. Not always. Would you have liked it if I did? No.

Okay. I can't have made that more clear in previous projects we've recorded chad where he doesn't live he does not live at 11 wilton street someone does i don't know who that's just an address in oakland okay so we have been how do you say off the boil recently well we earned it didn't we we uh came to london we did a we did a big day of movie watching we did a huge live show we uh knocked out a few episodes of season two of uh overlooked and undercooked it's all it's all there all the raw materials are there. I've started editing it up. There you go.

So it's not far away. We've not been idle, you know. So we worked hard and honestly, I think we've been enjoying a well-earned break. We've rekindled the friendship outside of the podcast.

It's been nice. We've had a few social calls. Quite a rarity guy at this point in our relationship, which I think is sad. Yeah, I agree. I think the fact that we're both here without anything specific to do in front of us, it's nice for us.

It's nice for the friendship. Because in London, and we spoke about this in the live show, as you might hear, but we had a minor squabble, and I was thinking about it retrospectively, and I thought, well, the thing is, we're close friends, and as soon as we saw each other in London, it was straight into work, you know. There was no preamble where we'd go, hey, how are you, man?

Let's go get a beer. We need to go to a theme park or something. You and I need to get back to dating. We need to go to couples counselling, perhaps. I don't know if we need that. I think we just need to hang out. I think I just came up with a good idea for a podcast. Go on. So it's couples counselling counseling but for podcast hosts oh boy so people would come and

i would just they'd sit in the chairs and i'd they'd tell me uh you know oh you're the counselor i'm the counselor and they tell me uh you know things that work well in their relationship and things that work poorly quite revealing yeah people things that work poorly. Quite revealing. Yeah. People like that. No, I just mean for the people who are seeking your advice that have to be comfortable with their dirty laundry being aired out there. Surely that exists. Not with you hosting it, obviously. I think that's the real ticket to success.

Do you mean for... I don't think as a podcast it exists. Surely. Podcasting couples probably do go and get therapy or something. Do you reckon? No, because not everyone does the same concept we do. Anyway, so while we've been sort of dicking around, having a good time,

you guys have continued corresponding. We've got those raw materials that will be turned into podcasts and released for you to look forward to. Like solid gold. And just a reminder as well that with all of our content some of it's exclusive but if it's not exclusive it comes out at least first on the patreon um if

you'd like to support us on the patreon we would love that too uh you go to patreon.com slash twiot and i tell you what the patreon is the Patreon is a large part of the reason why this podcast still exists. It allows us to do these things. You think we do this for love? Well, a little part of it is true. We do do it for love. Yeah, a little bit of that is true.

We absolutely do it for love. Also, other more nefarious reasons. I've got a piece of correspondence here from a woman named Emma at the Facebook Worst Lady of All Time. And it's just... I love you, Emma. Let me open with that.

It's a screenshot of a product that looks Irish, perhaps. Guy, look at me. Too strong? Am I coming on too strong? No, no. Just stay cool. Okay. It says, the caption is,

When you gamble on a fart and lose, and it's a packet of biscuits, and the biscuits are called whoopsie fudge stripes. And Emma's written, Hey boys, thought this would bring back great memories for GuyGuyXX. And you're not wrong, Emma. I love remembering times I have lost control of my body. So, thank you for that correspondence.

I had gastro recently. It was just after we got back from London. And I... Do you know, I i really thought that i got on top of the jet lag and in retrospect i actually did both directions very stringent no alcohol on the plane drink a lot of water sync up your watch to the destination as soon as you step into the airport those are the three things you go to sleep as per that schedule and i got into new zealand i was all right for like two days i was like fuck i nailed it and then i and then i got gastro but i didn't know i had gastro so i thought it was uh jet lag but i was like wait a minute so you were ignoring

wait a minute jet lag doesn't make you do violent porcelain disasters no no that's mostly you just your body clocks off it's nothing to do with shitting badly. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it took two days for you to... Figure that out? Well, and you made a full recovery. But I can relate very recently to that whole phenomenon of not gambling on a fart. It's risky business, man. Give me an appreciation for people who suffer from bowel conditions, IBS, etc. It's like, that would really fucking suck.

And you know what else I was thinking about that I was thinking because this comes up periodically with people who suffer from things like IBS we've got to be a bit fucking nicer about toilets someone needs to if you've got a place of business and you've got a toilet you've got to let the people in you've got to

oh look yeah but you let one person in Tim you let everyone in it's a toilet it needs you know it's just sitting there no i actually so a lot of businesses don't put up signs that say toilets are for customers only i do that i take that initiative myself you put it up on businesses you don't have anything to do with well i've got something to do i've got something to do with them i care about their facilities gatekeeping their toilets absolutely why do you do it why do i carry around that big backpack way full of signs why do you do it uh just something to do in it something to pass the time is everyone needs a job yeah guys i don't

have any i don't have any hobbies i wish i had a hobby you know what you could do you could be your hobby could be connecting people who needed toilet with the toilet it sort of goes against everything i stand for it's just flipping it on its head though you know you got to try new things scott writes dear fuck fellas as you watch a movie more often it tends to get more difficult to watch which watch out of 52 would you say is the halfway point in terms of suffering in other words are the first 30 watches as bad as the last 12 i think you matched a little off there are the first 50 watches as bad as the last two etc stay awesome scott

the halfway point in terms of suffering is a great question yeah yeah it's a nice way to frame it it's certainly not that clean 26 point that you might imagine i mean you know you do frame it that way in terms of an ascent and descent of a mountain but i think some of the roughest stuff's in the 30s because the numbers say you know say you've done 30 watches 22 watches is still too big of a number to feel like you're yeah you're on your way home i would say late 30s is the midway point yeah 38 i think i honestly think it's even it's a bigger mental barrier for me i'd say it's 40 when you get yeah 40 the early 40s the 40s also you start looking forward to it but you know the 40 40 to 42 that's 12 weeks that's three months yeah it's like that's less than half you know

that is uh you can start making plans if you think about going on holiday you know i you you get excited i would say i'd get excited to start planning it like three months you know well i mean it varies different different holidays different things but you know like three months is a nice amount of time you can look forward to something in three months and it doesn't feel like it's impossibly far away it feels like it's on the horizon sure and so that's where i'd put it myself the three months mark watch about 40 yeah yeah and it's just it's neat like i i have a weird uh you know there's a part of my brain which is very satisfied by a cleanliness and like quite fastidious and you know the 40s that feels like i'm going down the slide so that's what i got to say about

that you like even things don't you even numbers and whatnot uh i'm breaking through but when i used to watch tv did you do what volume what could you leave the volume we've had this conversation on the podcast before and we're on the same page all right fives fives and o's preferable if not got to go to evens. Yeah. Man, if you've got a prime there, you're out of your fucking mind. Throw that TV out the window. You're out of your depth.

You're out of your depth. Who says that? John Goodman. Yeah. Donnie. I just watched Sex and the City 2 for the first time while I'm relisting to season 2, and it felt like an esoteric. Why?

Out of your element. That's what he says sorry i just watched six and 32 it's just a short one from k just checking it after they'd written a long message a few years ago i just watched six and 32 for the first time i'm relisting to season two and it felt like an esoteric form of self-harm which is quite a nice uh turn of phrase we should there should be the subtitle for the worst idea of all time podcast esoteric self-harm yeah yeah i quite like that uh thank you so much k get that tattooed on my butt right next to patty esoteric self-harm yeah it's pretty good have you had a good little uh you know that script that makes it look like handwriting with a quill yeah yeah cursive yeah that's it brian writes there's three messages

here guy yeah they're all short they seem to connect together hi bat boy and guy mont i recently had the pleasure of meeting you both at the melbourne comedy festival both at the worst idea of all time live show and at guy's solo show which was really fantastic to guy i say you're doing something really great with that show good on you keep it going to tell my say again thanks so much for your proactive assistance and making sure i got tickets to all the little empire live shows i'm currently binge listening to the friends on episodes and it is a joy to hear you hear the two of you happy and laughing for a change i recently checked me put a dark product i recently chucked in some bucks on the Patreon.

You two have earned my unending support for your comedic endeavors. Cheers, Brian in Seattle. P.S. Next time, bring the boys with you to Melbourne. Oh, the walkout boys. I missed some words there. Then he's addended with Mortal Timbat and ninja gaiden and that's the whole email and then he's replied to that uh later that day just going to keep replying to myself like a classic worst idea listener i realized this morning that i've discovered potentially the best way to engage

with the party i know having seen the movie isn't a prerequisite for the party but i listened to seasons two and four because i've seen both Sex and the City movies. I haven't seen Grown Ups 2 or We Are Your Friends, so I haven't started those seasons and instead went to the friend zone. As I binge through the friend zone, I'm getting an interesting secondary experience of the seasons I haven't heard via other listeners' letters and reactions. It's quite good.

Just as you warn listeners not to watch the film, I might warn listeners not to listen to you discussing your watches. The friend zone is the place to be. Cheers, Brian. Wow. You could have made our life a whole lot easier if you had sent that email five years ago, Brian, you piece of shit. But there's no starting point, is there, for people to get in touch?

That's true. Where does it begin? Well, thank you, Brian. Thanks for coming to the in touch that's true where does it begin uh well thank you brian thanks for coming to the show thank you for your generosity and thank you for reaching out um yeah lovely it's a cool way to go just doing the old friends friends yeah it's quite interesting um raymond writes so i'm still feeling new to your podcast so I imagine my surprise so imagine

so I'm imagining Raymond eyes are closed I'm imagining so imagine my surprise disappointment in reading your final episode

has already happened I'm currently only at 50 and have thus far abstained from watching Grown Ups 2 but I recently decided that as a celebratory type thing

to finally view it at the end of your first year journey all by myself not sure if you'll get to this anymore if you're not recording new episodes but just wanted to share my own journey through your madness haha bummed i missed your trip to cali only by like a few years we came back maybe next time we'll be there this year raymond and that was sent on the 23rd of july in the year of our Lord 2019 that's the one I mean we've been there Raymond absolutely um that's so funny to me so he's like found the first season

and then just stopped like he can't see any more episodes or something uh uh no I just think he listened to it I don't know where he found it i guess because it was uploaded semi-recently who knows oh that's right put him back on it's like oh wow i'm listening in real time and then that would be quite disorienting to find out after the fact that you're living in the past i think it does say season one on it we also have quite uh dated references on that i'm sure dated and like we're going to get cancelled and i shouldn't have re-put them out in the world no dated as in every episode i'd start by saying the year is 2014 oh there you go that's good that's a good kind of dating isn't it well yeah it's the kind of dating

you and me should do there's three kinds of relationship back on three kinds of dating rank them uh so the worst of them is uh when you say something dated and it's dredged up and held in front of you. The second is labeling time and place in your maths book, in a podcast. And then the best kind of dating is the promise of a new relationship, new horizons, connections between people. Or old. You can date within an existing relationship yeah that's true often though it's not done formally if friends are

going to strike up some sort of connection uh usually it won't happen within the you know the slightly more uh rigorous zoe and i go on dates oh, yeah. I was thinking of dating someone new. Prison prospects. Yeah, yeah. And not romantic ones, but friend prospects. No, no, it's romantic dates, but like early days. I'm not thinking about like a couple who are happy and go on a date night. Yeah, yeah, right. I'm thinking about like, you know, people say, are you dating?

That doesn't mean are you in love and going out for meals with your partner? That means you've been with for five years. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right. As we were. Alex writes, to Tim Batten Guy Montgomery.

Now, that is a fucking unorthodox way to start a communication on the friend zone. I like it a lot. Just writing to say hi to my dear friend and fellow listener, Gabe, via the friend zone. Now, I better tell you what date this was sent on. It was the 24th of may hey

far out do you ever catch up nope hi gabe i have no message for either of you i'm just exploiting this forum to contact my friend i thought you both appreciate that sincerely alex fairbridge well he's not a mile off happy to provide a service whatever that may be hi hi i've been slowly catching up from season two and today i got to ep of 25 of season three and nearly shit myself laughing when guy did the rural new zealand actor dude voice the one who wants to audition for page but hasn't seen the movie i have no recollection of this neither do i but for those listening along season 3 ep 25 apparently them golden these golden them hills um hasn't seen the movie of course i was listening to this in public and to shit oneself there would be unfortunate thanks for the potty i think it's

really great kisses shannon shannon i'm in is that a song you're singing? Nah, I think I was singing Genie That song Genie Well, my one was terrible Yeah Because I was singing Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong's Cheek to Cheek Which begins with heaven I'm in heaven But if you change the word heaven to a two syllable name for a person

It becomes quite hands-on. Marie writes, Good evening, fellas. I have an extremely important question. When Steve and Smith Jarrett are having sex, who do you think is on top and who's the bottom? I need to know. Love the podcast.

Good luck. Say my name. Marie. I will venture that both of them are versatile fellows yep i uh wouldn't doubt it for a second especially considering the the point at which they strike up this relationship you know smith would be adventurous he's been with samantha for a long time uh one of her defining character traits is uh sort of you know uh type a yeah commanding yeah yep and so smith would be down for whatever and steve is sort of rediscovering himself and

rekindling a sexual fire that once burned bright uh and so i feel he'd be very open to you know whatever whatever may be so i'm in total agreement with you there tim uh this one is just a screen cap of an advertisement that asics have put up um with the words gross asics and the the uh the what we call the copy reads color outside the lines explore our collection of legendary running shoes now available in bright new looks and um you know i don't think i've ever had sex with my shoes on in my life can't say the same i don't know that i've done it for sure but socks on actually it depends what we're counting no i've had sex i've had sex with my shoes on you have yeah does that make me an icon sure nice yep i'll give you that uh sorry so so that's it it was that gross yucky asics ad

yeah some of them are just dispatches i like that i dig it a lot i just um i get nervous sometimes that i interrupt you and then i'm about to go on but you're only like halfway through the message because how fucking rude would that be yeah i already interrupt you that's rude to start no no i don't mind it i like the interruptions matthew writes gentlemen and he accompanies a beautiful donation through paypal gentlemen i was devastated to hear about your lovely upcoming tour back to the lovely pacific northwest of the united states portland oregon my heart was broken as your trip to my lovely city you know guy's got a oregon sticker on his laptop i can see it right now oregon oregon coast it's like the number plates yeah beautiful purple kind of color it's good. My heart was broken as your trip to my lovely city coincides with my honeymoon trip to Spain.

Yeah, that must have sucked. Much to my disappointment, my wife threatened swift and immediate divorce at the suggestion of canceling the trip so as to make it to your show. So, in lieu of the tickets I would have bought, here's a little scratch to show my appreciation for the show. Feel free to say my name, you brave boys. It's from Matthew. I'm going to take a run at it. Prowl? P-R-O-E-H-L.

Prowl? Yeah, why not? Hey, dude, congratulations on, I'm assuming, your recent marriage. If you just went on your honeymoon. That's fucking sick. And Spain looks great. I've never been myself yeah they speak you like spain they speak spanish there do they well in other languages but that's

one of the ones they're known for choice timber and flash freeze my frosty friends i realize this message will likely get buried in the sands of time and not be super relevant when you read it but i just listened to friendzone ep 84 where you you talk about Grown Ups 4 happening before Grown Ups 3 and how movies have never done that. Oh, we've read this. Oh, it doesn't ring a bell. I'll keep going. Keep going a little bit.

I'll keep going a little bit. Well, you're right. It doesn't typically happen. It has been done by the franchise Thanks Killing. Oh, yes, we have read this. This is from Jake. So I'd like to say thank you, Jake. And I'd like to say sorry that our filing system is not quite operating at maximum capacity like it already is.

But wasn't it nice to read the first paragraph of that message? We're doing a lot better than when I was in charge of the Facebook messages. This would happen all the time. It's ghastly. Ghastly business. We're plodding along all right. Shall I find one that hasn't been read before um i'd love that i'd really love that for both of us hello boys this

certainly will not be a message witty or entertaining enough to be read on the friend zone i'll be the judge of that what an exceptional way to start a correspondence i.e this message will be fucking dull i'm an enormous fan of the podcast with its absurdity having offered solace This message rules. I think they considered me rather peculiar, fetishizing a whole nation's culture off of the tribulations of two ruddy good blokes watching grown-ups. This message rules. Spank yourself. I'm loving this. Anyway, that's not the point. I told you this would be dull.

Basically, I'm now in New York for a little while and was hoping to catch one of Guy's stand-up sets. And Jesus wept, now you're both in London, my home. For years I've been praying for you to make a visit on our shores and now that you have I'm on the other side of the world. Basically, I wish you all the best with the show. I'm sure you guys will absolutely nail it as long as you survive the dreaded marathon viewing. I wish I could have met you boys properly and bought you both

a pint, but such is life. Good luck and thank you for bringing joy to my and so many other people's lives, Chris. Well, Chris, I say this to you. Believe it or not believe in yourself i was gonna sing a song commit no no no you're going back yeah you're in new zealand right now as we're recording look yeah chris first of all i'm gonna be doing comedy in new york come november so i'll find a way. If you follow social media,

sadly is the best way to do that. So if you use Twitter or Instagram, it's at guy underscore Mont. And generally I'll post everything I'm doing there as I go. So, you know, hope springs eternal. Tim and I aren't finished having fun together. There'll be a time when we're doing a show with one another in a city that you're in

before we expire. Are you doing a show with one another in a city that you're in before we expire. Are you doing a new show next year? As a species. For the festivals? Yeah, I'll do a new comedy show. I'm all out of ideas. You want to do a work in progress for early next year? Oh, yeah.

I mean, I don't know that Christopher's going to come to New Zealand from New York to watch a work in progress. Because do you remember that amazing title I came up with for a work in progress show oh how i learned to stop oh yeah stop worrying no what is the bomb how i stop worrying and learn to love the bomb dr strange yeah i mean it's we're not selling it as well as it came out at the time. It's fucking good. Always good when a title is the thing that starts the show and the show has to wrap around one funny quote. Was it like work in progress or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb? Yeah.

That is pretty good. Katie writes, Hey Tim and Guy, huge fan of you both and the comedic legend Adam Sandler. Have you seen The Cobbler? Available on Netflix And many other streaming services

We are 8 minutes in It's a lot Thank you for your suffering Love Katie Martins And Duncan Alexander You seen The Cobbler?

No but I've heard it's good I have too I've not watched it There's that And there's Okay so here are the movies That apparently The Mayowit Stories

Yes Adam Sandler's very good And that's a series right? No it's a movie Oh you watched it Also with Stella that and there's okay so here are the movies that apparently the mayowit stories yes adam sandler is very good and that's a series right no it's a movie oh you also were stiller no i haven't but he's getting oscar buzz not for that he's getting oscar buzz for a movie that's coming out this year called uncut gems uh it's uh made its debut at the toronto at tiff at the toronto international film festival and um it's uh it's he's genuinely creating a lot of hype he's a bloody good dramatic actor and a few times he's i remember him being really good and funny people oh that movie was fucking annoying yeah that movie wasn't good but he was very good

in it i can't even remember what that film's about but i remember walking out being like the reason it's frustrating is because he can obviously choose to apply himself and be great and often he doesn't you know and fuck that's sick though hey how great is that he's like i know i've got it in me because so many actors are so earnest and hard working and sandler's like yeah i've got the talent but who like why not just go to hawaii and film something with drew barry warren he paid for it yeah i i read it like that sometimes as well he's earned the right to fucking just throw throw spaghetti at a wall he doesn't need to earn like to whom does he owe working hard you know i think people who pay people who pay money to

watch his movies there's a market for it i think it's a great attitude i i'm torn because i also agree but there is a cynicism to it where it's like people will come to whatever shit i make anyway so who cares yeah you've got a responsibility it's not cheap to go to the movies these days it's so funny because sandler has constructed his career where he keeps reminding you periodically like just enough to remind you of how good he actually can be like his special that he brought out this last year that's part of why funny people was frustrating because it was like it was almost not atonement but it was like him acknowledge you know it was a semi-autobiography right yeah god damn it arts

hole podcast has got in touch with us they said frostiest of fellas greetings from los angeles last night few friends and i sat down for a nice dinner out at our neighborhood haunt when i looked to the right who did i see seated next to us also enjoying a meal mr Mr. Big himself. Chris Noth. Fuck. That is Big. Unlike Big, who appears to walk through life with a sleepy arrogance that approaches a bored sociopathic Is that how you would say that? Say it again.

Sociopathic? Sociopathic? But E. Sociopath. I don't know. A bored sociopathic? The E. Sociopath. Sociopathy. I don't know. A bored sociopathy. Chris Knoth could only be described as boisterous and joyful as he held court at a table of diners.

Dare I say they look like friends. As a man of a certain age, it was nice to see him dining at a reasonable hour. Huge fan of the show. Glad the boys are back much appreciated for you punishing yourselves for the greater good michael ps no i didn't see him read the menu critical detail that is really nice touch it's good hey um when we were in london you know who i was sitting next to when i went out for dinner. I've forgotten her name, but she's the actress in Old School who plays... Ellen Pompeo?

Yeah, I reckon that's her. From Grey's Anatomy as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, right next to her in a noodle joint. Nice or just ordinary? The noodle joint? Yeah.

It was fine. I loved it. You know? I always think that they'd only go to the top. Yeah. She's like one of the highest paid actors in the world that's so funny that i forgot she was in grey's anatomy do you know the first and only episode of grey's anatomy i watched was when uh she had her hand there's someone in there with a bomb and like inside of them and she had to

keep her hand on the bomb that's huge during surgery or it would explode and so the whole episode her hands just on this live bomb that that's just um speed isn't it yeah a little bit speed's good man so you watched it recently i watched it on the flight from uh you made me want to watch it again you spoke so highly of it london to hong kong on that leg i watched speed and it is really funny and ke Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, their chemistry is incredible. I was looking up whether or not they dated in real life, and it turns out they both

had crushes on each other, but they thought it would be unprofessional to say as much. God damn. And so, like, ships in the night, it never happened. She's so funny and cute. He's so, like, handy and sexy.

And it's a really, it's just a really good time. And there's some really funny lines in there. It is a timeless film. It's a really good time. And there's some really funny lines in there. It is a timeless film. It's a really good flick, huh? So it still hasn't dated now? No. You know, like...

No, no, no. It's rewatchable. It's totally rewatchable. Alex writes, G'day, Frosty fellas. I was pursuing a French department store No. I was perusing.

Here we go. I was perusing a french department store when i noticed that the song they were playing might serve as the perfect coder to your sex in the city journey have a listen to i don't miss you by sharif and force yourself to stick around for the whole chorus to see why i hope this ugly little tune nests in your brain and fall in your brain folds and rears its parasitic head from time to time as you try to go on with your lives

as it has done with me. Hold on, hold on. Can you mute that? Because for once in my damn life I've got my laptop connected to the thingy so I can actually do this. Let's open up this YouTube, eh?

All the best from Alex. Let's see if YouTube's going to give me an ad. No! Straight on with the song. You used to love me an ad. No, straight on with the song. This is like BNNLadies.

Don't you reckon? I only really know one of their songs. Fuck, I'm so bored. Sorry, I'm out. Oh, no, keep it going. Okay. Okay. But I miss The way you taste And the way you used to race me to my room

But I don't miss Candles in the bathroom Tofu in the fridge What? Magazines with pointers On what to do in bed I don't miss Carrie and Samantha Charlotte or Miranda

I see And I don't miss you Very good. Very well played. Yeah, that guy sounds like a bit of a jerk. Yeah, but he, yeah. But you get the connection, don't you? Oh, absolutely.

Hey, um, I'm gonna read this and shoot how long we mate that's a good place to i got this one here is a good it's a great there'll be a really beautiful organic opportunity for us to hawk some of our wares oh hi is there any way to order one of those incredible posters from you without attending the london show immensely long time fan here would love to give a birthday gift to my best friend olivia who i've listened with from the beginning let me know if there's any way i'm in california good news bad news who's this from juliet juliet good news bad news good news yes possible bad news i fear you've probably missed the birthday uh because i imagine this that is not removed from the incredible design on the posters by Thomas

Cottle that is one of my all the images we've had if you want to check out I don't know why you would because we'll just appreciate good art would you but his website is sick-days.com and you can see his work Thomas is

god tier designer and he just happens to be a mate of ours and he he enjoys the things that we do so um he works with us sometimes we're very lucky to get him to do stuff when he's got a little bit of time on his hands fuck he's so good his shit is so cool he really is anyway what we what i had to do is i had to um get uh the poster design off him without the london dates and stuff on it because i forgot to do that before but i just got that off him the other day so that'll be whacked up in the merch store so you'll be able to order um you'll be able to order it order it from our t public store and the cool thing about that is

from our t public store and the cool thing about that is in this i will take this opportunity to wax on about it for a moment what's so fucking choice so the old merch store right it was really expensive to do shipping and it was really complicated and they only did like clothes but it was really high quality but everything was too expensive so now we're with t public and we have been for ages and they're a lot better because the shipping is way cheaper. We see very little money off the top, which I'm fine with because everything is so much cheaper. But you can get whatever design you want on like notebooks, T-shirts, hats, fucking beer cooler things. And it's high quality too. I bought one of those Nightmare Sandler T-shirts.

This is how our merch works. i bought merch from our merch store it was cheap right yeah it was cheap and also uh it's a great it's like a genuinely high quality t-shirt um that i it's really good shit i wear to this day and has survived to go around in a pretty dicey uh laundromat in New York, which I always feel will shrink my clothes. Oh, true. Testament. Pre-shrunk. Absolutely. But, yeah.

And you're able to buy it as a poster if you want to whatever size your heart desires. So I'll put a link to that. Hopefully I remember to do that in these show notes. But if you go to worstideafalltime.com, there's no the in the URL, just worstideafalltime.com. The merch store is pretty visible there click that button

it'll take you there and you can buy stuff and periodically Tee Public have these huge sales we don't know when they are they tell us

I forget to pass it on because I'm a baddie but you know just check on it every day checking it every day in addition to stuff online

have you got anything in the real world coming up that you'd like to talk about oh no devastatingly i don't think so you've got a weekly show in auckland oh yeah okay right if you're if you're uh if you're part of the one percent of our listeners who are in auckland um i run a comedy show called hump and you should come it's a very good show and it's in this tiny little beer bar and it's only 10 bucks and I curate the lineups every week so that they're awesome.

And host every week? I host it every week and it doesn't go too long because goddammit, nothing shits me more than a comedy show that goes for like two and a half hours. I hate it. I hosted a raw comedy show last night. 13 acts on the bill.

That's a lot. Too many. You're all doing six minutes though, right? Yeah, but a lot of them without respect for the notion of timekeeping. That's fucked up, man. Anyway, that's by the by. Also, there is something that I keep forgetting to tell people about, which I'm going to tell you about now because I remembered.

Yeah. It's the little empire podcast pals group on what platform facebook so this is um something that uh aj alex from cult popshire podcast which you're going to hear on on the worst idea stream soon um he and i put our heads together and and put this thing together he kind of like runs it and it's not doing a lot at the moment but it's going to do a lot of things soon so this is where this is like the go-to place for discussions about worst idea bonus of the heart um the male gaze all the podcasts that we've got and we're gonna do like giveaways as well

and special little streamy things and all kinds of fun shit so right now there's about 150 people who are on there when we reach 250 we're gonna give away a $50 merch 50 US dollar merch voucher shit

to the merch store have I signed off on that? what? that we're giving away that merch? You're not paying for it. Oh, yeah, cool. And then at fight, when we reach fight, so we'll just like have a draw that you put your name in.

And you bring your name out and you're the winner. And then at the 500 mark. We're going to give away 500 American dollars no no no in cash no that's not what's happening delivered to your door no by us

and we're going to buy you a first class ticket to come and visit us at Tim's home it's all off I mean 500 people to get all that that's fucked

how does that even work no when we get 500 members Guy and I are going to make a custom worst idea episode and then just send it to you no one else will have this episode that's even better so we're going to just do a one hitter for one person yes for one

person okay yeah i love that and whatever they want to do with it is up to them but it is it's their property do not release it i'm going to air a lot of my real opinions on that you already know what you're going to say so uh yeah sign up to that you just go to facebook.com slash groups slash little empire pals and you're going to get approved on there because we only want lovely people i'm doing my show that i've done in a lot of places this year in sydney i'm doing one big show this friday the 27th of september at 7 p.m at the sydney comedy store if you know anyone in sydney or are in sydney yourself i'd love to see you there it's a brilliant show it's really humming i had a great time with it in edinburgh and uh it's gonna be a lot of fun i'm sort of i'm winding down i can't wait to stop performing it

um i'm ready to do new jokes but yeah one last go around if you're in sydney i'd love to see you there one last time i'd love to see you there otherwise go out when you're in line to buy a coffee or a pastry buy one for the person behind you and when they say why are you doing this say you'll see this afternoon have a fantastic day we'll see you on the flip side motherfuckers well it's the friend zone with tim and guy come to the friend zone and have a good time yes it's Fuck us!