The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Eleven

Episode Date: June 19, 2016

Hello to you, friend of TWIOAT. Hopefully. Here's who else made it into the zone: Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron, Curious Charles, a poet named Patrick AND Beyonce. Guy and Tim also discuss the man from Nantucket, Hamilton and The Comedian's Comedian podcast. Everything, that's anything, that's not watching We Are Your Friends. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the friend zone, number, who knows, 11? There is no time or boundaries in the friend zone. Friendship is limitless, it's an endless plane. It's like love and interstellar, it can travel across any dimension. It's like the horizon, it's always there and you can never reach it. No, but in a good way. Oh, okay. That's the end of it.

Oh, I see. There is no end. So it's like the sun's rays. They will always be there. There will always be friendship. Although, yeah, there will always be friendship. Not like your friends will come and go, but friends are forever.

What? Different friends. Oh, oh okay the concept of friends yeah those exact specific friends they may leave yeah but there'll be other different friends in that concept of there being someone who is a friend that is eternal have you had to break up a friendship before have you consciously been like i just not consciously, which in some ways I think reflects poorly on me because surely someone in my friend circle has done something awful where I should have drawn a line in the sand. But I always think it's more helpful to try and be like, why did you do that awful thing and try and...

To help the friend. Yeah. I think help the friend, help the collective, you know? Oh, yeah. The collective being the friends of Earth, or as we call ourselves, humans. This is not an episode of the podcast where you'll catch Guy Montgomery and myself, Tim Batt,

watching We Are Your Friends, as we've been known to do from time to time. That's true. We are becoming better known for it by the week. We actually were just looking up um i sort of stumbled across a clip of zach efron at e3 recently which is like a gaming and electronics expo and uh i won't lie to you the dude looked a little blazed which i'm concerned about because i think he went to rehab for for weed addiction yeah no i think yeah i think he went to rehab. For weed addiction. Yeah. No, I think he did clean his act up.

He was addicted to cocaine, as I recall. It would be so hard. Shot to stardom. You're a millionaire at 18. Yeah. There's cocaine everywhere. Especially being- You feel bulletproof. Being that good looking.

In some ways, like, I wouldn't wish ugliness onto a person but just I think it would be easier to look normal than to be that famous and that rich and that successful and that good looking I think it would actually be a burden being that attractive at that level of fame at that young just everything happening at once and everyone wants to fuck you

and pay you it's like oh god it's all a bit much what a nightmare that'd be. It would be the worst. Oh, everyone wants to keep having sex with me and giving me money. I guess you'd question your value as a friend. But your old friends,

that's when you turn to your old friends. Yeah, and your old friends are like, oh, God, you're insufferable. You've got it easy. No, I'm the same. Yeah, but how are you to be believed? You're living in your own bubble where everyone wants to I think the inverse is true

I think he's put sex and money at you he looks at everyone else and he's like how are you to be believed you're just using me for my good looks and fame this is the poison chalice

you know that is success Zach if you're listening we're here for you we are here for you bro we see past the layers of the onion we recognise that you went to rehab to clean yourself up to be a better person.

And we're better friends for it, I think. Because Tim told you to. Because that's one of Tim's values as a friend. He looks to help, not to turn away. I recognize as well that you didn't hear me say it because we have never met. But it's like you're better friends with someone if they're a better person than not you know what i mean so by him making himself a better person independently by himself and me independently saying is that everyone should maybe clean up his act the two of us have engaged in bonding a friendship that doesn't exist which sort of does

in a way i think it's stronger you would have more to talk to him about now if you met him. Yeah. I wouldn't bring that up, though. It's pretty personal. I was pulling for you, Zach. Just so you know, dog, I mean, while you were busy making High School Musical and being very rich, good-looking, successful. He was in a relationship at that point with Vanessa Hudgens,

who I think would have been a good influence. Yeah, I would hope so. Look, we're getting sidetracked. This isn't about them. It's about you. It's about everyone, though. It's not not about them. It's not not about Vanessa Hudgens.

What's she doing right now? When's the last time you saw her pop up? She had a good music, a good song, a good music song and video. Good music song. The best kind. Yeah. It was a song, mostly music. Yep. That was a good music song and video. Good music song. The best kind. Yeah. It was a song, mostly music. Yep.

That was a little while ago, though. I don't know what she's doing. Hopefully just having a good time. Yeah. In some ways, it's good that we haven't heard from her. It means she's probably just doing her for a bit instead of trying to pump things out. Yeah.

When I was younger and an artist, a music artist, or anyone I'd like would go, like wouldn't do anything for a while, I'd be like, oh, they've blown it, they've really fallen off the radar. Chances are, just off having the best time. Yeah, good on you. Not worrying about it. Good on you, people who we don't know what you're up to at the moment.

Paul McCartney, what are you doing? Probably swimming in your pool of money. Good on you. So unhygienic, though. Money is the least clean thing to swim in. Yeah, that's so true. That Scrooge McDuck, it's a good thing he was a duck. And a cartoon.

Yeah, that too. He's not at the mercy of human bacteria and disease. We've received emails from our other friends, messages of conciliation and congratulations on what we're doing, which is odd. We appreciate it, though. We really do. Do you want to?

Yeah, well, there's actually one that sort of speaks to that specific thing, Tim, if I may. Of course. Thanks to Alice Pocock. She recently wrote to us saying, just re-listening to season two. She wrote this on the 15th of May, but we did a big old inbox clear out

episode 14 Buffy Tim and Guy asked for selfies so here is me traversing the Viennese now before I continue what do you think the Viennese is? a mountain range in Asia and I have no basis for that at all

well I might have misled you because the second half of it is traversing the Viennese underground listening to you guys. Like a train system. I was undone by the very next word. I actually wrote in the response to this that I've always thought of the Viennese as a mountain range. Although I've always imagined it in Europe.

Well, maybe the Viennese is, but when you add underground, that's where you've got to add underground. Because underground isn't known for being the Viennese. No, I googled V&E's And there's no mountain range? It's the word traverse, it's a very loaded verb If you hear traverse you think oh, it's like a set of mountains or hills

You didn't write it to be picked apart though did you Alice? You said, I know there has been controversy re-film choice this year however you guys have absolutely earned actually watching a film for this project not just an excessively long, blatant and offensive advertising campaign film choice this year. Whoever you guys have absolutely earned actually watching a film for this project, not just an excessively long, blatant, and offensive advertising campaign.

After the past two years, you got this year, lads! Exclamation point. I didn't do a good job of reading the explanation point with my inflection, so I had to say it. I'm just glad it wasn't skipped over. That's the most important thing. Thanks, Alice. That's really sweet,

and I hope you enjoy traversing that underground. Yeah. But she then said, I'm quite worried about season two, Tim and Guy, listening to them right now, so I hope seeing my face will help somehow retrospectively. What does she look like? Don't show me the photo.

Describe it. I'm the audience. She's smiling. She's listening on iPod earbuds. I can't tell if they're the new or older ones. She's got a sort of a pashmina-looking scarf on. Cool. What appears to be a blue duffel coat,

maybe one layer of clothing. And she's looking... Brows on fleek is what I would say. Just generally having a good time. Cool. Good on you. Good on you, Alice. Thanks, Alice.

And your brows. Charles sent in, in the middle of the night, our time, hey Tim, writing in to say I love the podcast. The idea of taking a stupid joke way too far for 52 weeks at a time

appeals to my humor immensely. I'm reading that verbatim. I'm not here to call you out or anything, dog. Especially because I received this in my inbox at 3.22am. If you sent it anywhere near that local time, which you probably didn't, like, yeah, mistakes were made. I was wondering if you guys were ever going to tour the States sometime

or come to some US comedy festivals. I live in Virginia where Roy Sullivan died. That's the guy who got struck by lightning seven times. How could I forget? And would love to get a chance to see you guys do your thing. I do have one issue. Why is it that you call everybody a boy, such as he's a handsome boy or I'm a nice boy?

It's a little creepy, but regardless, best of luck with the remaining 45 weeks. Sincerely, Charles. Charles, you know what? I felt bad about getting into the language that you were using but now i don't feel so bad you're gonna start drilling into our vernacular no you're right charles you're a good boy you're a curious boy and i think you know boys will be curious and that's all that needs to be said about that uh and in all likelihood i don't know um i can't

see us going to the states anytime super soon i'm sorry i'm just being honest because that's what friends do friends are honest with friends friends don't tell friends just what they want to hear all the time tell them porky pies yeah chuck uh from patrick bliss for tim bat and guy montgomery purveyors of shit films and podcast comedy. The movies are old, but the best jokes are told about cinema produced so shoddily. This appears to be in verse. My girl and I are big fans of The Cause

because every episode warrants such applause. So come down to Texas, we'll buy you chaps breakfast because the plane ticket we cannot afford. So for the effort, I award you five bucks for entertainment so very deluxe. You broke your own sanity for films draped in vanity. Please review Dinner with Schmucks. That's really, really good.

Phenomenal. That's a, what are they called? A limerick. I think that's the structure of that. Yeah, that is the structure of a limerick. Good on you, man. Three limericks. What's his name again? One narrative, three limerick. I think that's the structure of the idea. Yeah, that is the structure of a limerick. Good on you, man. Three limericks. What's his name again?

One narrative, three limericks. Patrick Bliss. Well, I think the whole thing's a limerick, right? Like, that's just the kind of poem it is. I always thought of limericks as just one of those. And it's usually got a dirty punchline. So like a rhyming couplet. Yeah.

And the end is like, and the guy had a big dick for ducks or something. It always starts. Here's the thing about living in New Zealand. Growing up as a kid in New Zealand, you always get the first bit, there was a man from Nantucket and you never hear the rest of it because it's where the TV show or movie cuts off

because it's just assumed cultural knowledge that everyone grew up with that limerick. We don't know what the rest of it is. I mean, I could guess. I could definitely guess. But I'd probably get some of the middle words wrong they're not important and they don't need to explain it because the gag is understood you know yeah but as a kid i was always like well what the fuck is the rest of it like actually if someone could send that in that'd be helpful uh the original nantucket limerick alex winchell says, Dearest Timbly Wimbly and Guybo, whilst I enjoy...

Yes, please. I like that a lot. Are you into that? Timbly Wimbly. I think you're responding to Guybo because it was at the end. Oh, Guybo's great too. Guybo's quite cool. I like that.

But Timbly Wimbly. It's a bit... It's pretty syllable heavy. Spindly Timbly Wimbly. It's a good name for a pretty syllable heavy. Spindly Timbly Wimbly. It's a good name for a children's book. Whilst I quite enjoy your ramblings, when you read fan letters aloud, I can't help but become concerned.

I'm going to skip ahead and just read the rest of this before I do it out loud. Hold on. Okay. Yeah, I think it's fine. I've noticed that listeners who write in often casually throw in that they're struggling with some personal crisis,

a crisis which they're coping with by binge listening to your antics. To your listeners, I hope all is well. Oh, so it's just genuine concern from Alex. He goes on. As the host of this podcast, which this letter is addressed, it seems to me that you're using

this final season of The Worst Idea of All Time to backdoor a pilot podcast entitled Friend Zone. Just know that I'm onto your schemes. Okay, bye. It was a rollercoaster of an email. It was... Every word a turn. Yeah.

Every sentence a twist. Good storytelling. The actual idea we've been working on for another podcast is unpacking that letter uh once an hour every hour for a year once an hour every hour god yeah damn that's a lot of content that's right we're really going to get to know the real you yeah oh alex but appreciate it appreciate any form of letter actually some other some people on um the subreddit were saying that as well. I can't stress enough to you guys.

There's no plan. There's never been a plan. We make this shit up as we go along. Yeah. I don't know how else to kind of... We're very bad at planning stuff. We're very bad at... We're just... It's not...

I don't think it's that we're necessarily bad at it. It's just that i don't think it's that we're necessarily bad it's just that we we don't do it yeah well no i think well i think i'm bad at it do you say it friend to friend i don't think you're bad at planning no i'm not no follow-through mate or do you just you you always play it as it lies uh yeah path of least resistance to Ta-ra-da. Fair cop to you. This one I found on the hashtag TWIOAT stream on the twits. Oh, is that a hashtag? Yeah, it's FuzzyCo, which is some sort of website. I don't know anything about it apart from the Twitter bio. I was kicking it on the 3-3.

I should mention I work for NetherRealm Studios But my opinions are my own Well that's good Don't mention where you work then Yeah you can maybe beep that I see because no one knows But that's in case Office jobs now they research their employees

On all social media platforms But why is he Just saying I'm a dude and here's something I have to say? Don't say, hey, I work for this place, but ignore it. Don't give me a bit of information and say, but ignore this. I don't get it. That wasn't to you. This is on the Twitter.

That's their Twitter bio. Oh, fuck. All right. Sorry. I thought he included it in the message. Yeah, I can see the confusion. It's a hell of a bait and a switch, man. Yeah.

Make some important information about me. I'm 28 years old. Please quickly disregard that. Not everyone's out to get you, Tim. It's just it didn't make any sense, but that makes perfect sense now that it's the bio. Apologies, Guy. Please continue.

What it is, it's just a lovely sort of write-up on how they found the podcast. It's a review, I think. Oh, so this is like a blog post kind of sized thing. And Fuzzy Co., like it's referenced in a few places as a thing, but I can't find out what Fuzzy Co. is. I think it's just a curated blog. It's a blog. Awesome. places as a thing but i can't find out what fuzzy covers i think it's just a curated blog you know

it's a blog awesome uh so based in chicago and uh there was a dominic's literally oh so it pretty much he found out the podcast he because all the local supermarkets got closed down in chicago dominic's about 80 stores citywide apparently got shut down uh and he eventually, there was a Whole Foods that was the nearest thing that wound up opening up. And he'd go there and he noticed all the staff were chatty. And once a butcher saw him listening to his headphones, he approached the meat counter and he said to him, what are you listening to?

And he said, a podcast. And the butcher said, oh, you like podcasts? I heard about this crazy podcast where three Australian guys are watching all of Adam Sandler's movies, and they're talking about how they're actually tax dodgers or something. I haven't listened to it. Anyway, here's some sausages. And he walked away and was like, oh, you know what?

I will look that up and found the podcast and then got super up to his eyeballs in it. And my favorite part was he said, I got a little obsessive over the last four months. I've listened to every episode of the podcast, and I'm completely up to his eyeballs in it uh and my favorite part was he said i got a little obsessive over the last four months i've listened to every episode of the podcast and i'm completely up to date i got my brother hooked too to the point where he soon let me and was dangling spoilers ahead of me we're part of spoiler culture it's been one of our main topics of iMessage conversation a little plug for ample there over the past few months twioat bringing families together, is a tagline volunteered.

That is beautiful. I like the fact that for their origin story, there's a third party we don't know about who was the most crucial element. Mr. X. The butcher hadn't known about it. The guy with the headphones on who wrote this hadn't known about it. There's some other entity here, some unknown friend who's out there living their life. If you know who you are, good on you.

What it is is a taping, a tape recorder playing a loop with a battery that we charge remotely. And it's sort of just a vague sentence about the podcast. And we send it from city to city. I want to whip through a couple real quick is that is that the whips out mate danielle brown is the is it partner or wife of um of oh it must be wife same last name christopher brown who does our dope new intro and she's done a what do you call them is it like a cross stitch thing she's probably a cross stitch well like a you know those yeah there's a cross stitch is that what that is that do you call them? Is it like a cross-stitch thing? She's probably said a lot of this. A cross-stitch.

Well, like a, you know, those. Yeah, that's a cross-stitch. Is that what that is? Yeah. And you hang them on the wall. Yeah. Your grandma has them. Yeah.

There's a lot of cables in the way. I'm going to try and show Guy. But it's a cross-stitch of the immortal Summertime, which I'll put on the phone. I'm going to actually put that on my Instagram. That's so damn good. Yeah, that's excellent. Daniel, you've done such a fab job.

And yeah, it's, you know, the world's favorite warlock in the center there on an inflatable, just kick him back. And I would like to give her Instagram a shout out, which is at tree four five. The numbers? No, sorry, tree fort five. Tree fort five. The number five or the? Letters. The letters five. Spelled out five. The numbers? No, sorry. Tree fort five. Tree fort five.

The number five or the? Letters. The letters five. Spelled out five. So just, hopefully she's got it up on hers. So yeah, go and check that out. Now this one's an interesting one. This is from Liam.

I run a comedy YouTube show thing called Galaxy of Clams. This came to me about a week ago. A huge fan of the show you guys make. And when we hit 60 subs, I was inspired by you guys to me about a week ago. A huge fan of the show you guys make and when we hit 60 subs I was inspired by you guys to celebrate in the worst way. In a couple days brackets Monday, me and my YouTubing partner are going to watch all the Adam Sandler

films on Netflix and live stream it. We'll be starting at 8am and ending sometime around 2 or 3 in the morning. I expect to die during this. Then he's given the link and then he said anyway, just felt like you needed to know. Love your show, and thanks for making it. I clicked on the link, and there's nothing there.

So it says, like, the stream has ended. So that's where the stream was. I don't know. I like that. You are like a shooting star in the night. You just flashed once. Sorry, Liam, that we missed you. But you're gone now.

Good on you for doing it, though. Yeah. It's a weird thing to do. It is. A really important thing that we haven't done in ages, there's a couple more emails I want to get to, but I might have to log them for next time, is people who have thrown us a little chunk of change

and left us a note on PayPal. Some people, if you go to worstideaofalltime.com and you click on the merch page, there's a button where you can donate to us. And some people do that and they don't leave a message, but the people who do leave a message, we try to read out on here. It says support the troops. Yeah, which you've never been totally comfortable with.

If you're looking to support your nation's army, don't... Oh, yeah. I don't want anyone to be under full pretenses. We're not fighting any enemy or anything. It's used ironically. Yeah. You might think you're donating to an anti-military cause because if you look up theworstideaofalltime.com

and in your head you're like, well, the worst idea of all time is war, man. I'm for peace. Yeah, that's true. Troubling. Maybe I will have to... I think it's fine. Okay.

There's no flag emblems or anything there, so it should be right. No, I put them up. Patrick Foster. Before you check the site, I take them back down. Patrick, that's fucking... You're a cheeky man. Cheeky little coder man.

Patrick Foster wrote, heard about New Zealand's avocado crisis, so I thought I'd help you out. I hope this is enough. Cheers from Patrick. Now that is related to, I think there was a news story a couple of days ago that apparently people have started stealing avocados

and selling them on a black market here because the price is too damn high for avos in New Zealand. So I appreciate their concern, Patrick. An avocado black market. It's like such a fucking rich white person. That black market could only exist in very particular areas. It's a ridiculous problem.

It's the whitest black market of all time. Holy shit. Cara Glaze gave us a bunch of money um 50 u.s dollars dude that's a lot uh cara i'm assuming it's a it's a she said dear tim and guy guy my friends are sick of timbly wimbly yeah fair enough my friends are sick of hearing me talk about this podcast it's impossible to explain why the worst idea of all time is a great show but it is a few friends a few friends just took

my word for it and we are now fans of the show too I started listening from the beginning after hearing a recommendation last fall from the NPR pop culture happy hour interview with the Night Vale guy shout out to those boys

a recommendation that took over my life full disclosure I started a crap temp job at the time and have a two to three hour commute in traffic it's not exaggerating to say that this podcast has saved my life during that drive I think that is an exaggeration

sentient form and pulled you from the wreckage of a burning car. This podcast. I'm sure of it. If you ever toured on this in San Diego, if you ever, I'd probably buy two tickets priced around 20 bucks plus service fee.

So here's the price of that ticket in advance. I think you've earned it and glad to have the service charge go to you directly thanks for the hours of entertainment I still can't describe why it's interesting to listen to you guys

talk about the same shitty movie each week but it fucking is your fan Cara thanks Cara thank you so much Cara I'd just quickly like to give a shout out

to the service charge men who are small men who live inside like a lot of bad stuff gets said about them they're small men they live inside

ticketing websites and they use that money to support their families. And so I know it seems like an outrageous thing. You have to pay nine fucking 95 for entering your credit card information into a ticketing website. But that's the scraps they have to live on. Very good. I'm going to paraphrase this next one if I may from PayPal. How long has this been going for? I'm going to endhrase this next one, if I may, from PayPal.

How long has this been going for? I'm going to end it after this, I think. This is from Nathaniel. And just to paraphrase, he got $20 on PayPal. He didn't know what to do with it. It was like too trivial an amount for him to kind of fuck around with or take out or whatever. Respect to you.

Good on you. So he just decided to transfer it into our PayPal. God bless him. He said it's the perfect amount. He also says that he took his daughters to Blaze Pizza and told them how to pronounce Blaze Pizza in a Kiwi accent. Which is awesome. So Nate from Evanston, Illinois, thank you very much.

Yeah, thanks, Nate. That is well awesome. Hey, another thing that's on the website which i just like haven't given a shout out in ages is uh a cut up that a lot of hours of time and energy went into of season one oh yeah um so like yeah brett made that get onto it get into it you can download it like it's five bucks or something, I think. Or you can pay more if you want. It's three hours. No, Brett.

You'd know how hard Brett worked on this, and he's a good boy. Brett is the reason, pretty much, why we did that first trip to LA. That's true. He's a good dude. He's an enabler. Great guy.

An enabler of the podcast to the highest order. Sorry if we didn't read your messages out this one. We'll try and do it sometime down the track. But realistically, you know, you can't always get to all your friends all the time. No, some friends you see, you know, it's just chance, isn't it? You run into some friends and you don't run into other friends, and that's ships in the night. That's all right, though.

That's fine. They're off doing their things. Speaking of friends, I would quickly, I wanted to say this on the last Friend Zone. I've been absolutely devouring a podcast recently by one of our friends, Stuart Goldsmith, called The Comedian's Comedian Podcast, which is sort of an inside comedy podcast where he talks to some of the best comedians in the world about how they write jokes and other such topics.

And it's, I can't, honestly, I can't, you know, when you fully get, it doesn't happen to me often, but I'm fucking up to my girls in this stuff. I love it. So you're, let's do a little round of what we've been listening to. That's what you've been listening to.

For the last week, I've just been slamming the Hamilton soundtrack because I finally relented. I walked in it. I'm not going to see the stage production for probably at least a year or or 18 months or so uh so i'm just gonna dive in and uh i walked in on you doing it so that's gross listening to the soundtrack it's so good yes it seems real redundant to shout out a musical that just won i think think, 11 Tonys and is being lauded to the max.

But fuck, man. Way to give a leg up. Yeah, it's like, hey, just shout out to this little known artist called Beyonce. I've just been trying out a couple of her albums, and it turns out they're pretty good. But honestly, if you like teetering, just give that a bash. Good God, it's good

I feel like I learned a lot about American history as well which is always a good thing it's like you're finding out why it's so popular in the first place I know and of course you know to take this little portion of the episode of course those are the two syllables

I would choose of course Hamilton's incredible but it's so it's really good good on you you know who my favourite character is King George the third really good we'll catch you

in a real episode which will come out soon because that look full disclosure we're about to dive into the movie right now that's right so stop getting in our way

of seeing the movie we will do anything to pull on this. Okay, we're going to get in there. Alright everybody, wish us luck. We'll catch you soon. Bye bye.