The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Fifteen

Episode Date: July 20, 2016

Guybo and Timtim are apart again. Separated by great distances but draw together by their journey in cinema. The Friendzone is a zone for theories, letters and every now and then, Guy's mum to join us. Can Tim sing? Are all the WAYF boys warlocks? Not sure - some these letters are very long! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, come to the friend zone, and have a good time, yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time. Will you play the intro before that, or was that the intro this week? That was the intro this week. Oh wow, God you're getting so confident. All those singing lessons are really paying off. Oh no I mean like I'm not going to include that. What everyone just heard was the intro. What Guy just heard and Guy alone for his ears only was me singing the theme song. I thought you were growing in confidence and ready to share your beautiful voice. What did you think of my singing? your beautiful voice.

What did you think of my singing? It was about right. I didn't expect any more or any less. Jesus, what an indictment. What an absolute indictment on my skills. How would you feel if I said that about anything else you did? Sorry? Say that again?

Well, say you came off stage after a gig. Yes. And you said you said hey how did i go and i was like oh you know it was about right i wouldn't expect any more or any less would you be upset with that feedback uh yeah definitely i wouldn't be i wouldn't be three thrilled to receive that tepid report from you on my ability you've got high you've got high standards for yourself i've got fucking high standards go i've got high standards for yourself. I do. I've got fucking high standards, guy. I've got high standards for myself, for those around me, for this podcast, just in life generally. Very high standards.

Do you hold me up to the same high standards you hold yourself? No. No, I don't. Not quite. Certainly probably a higher standard than most people hold other people to. So here's the hierarchy of how things are held. Other people holding other people, down the bottom. How I hold other people, in the middle.

How I hold myself, that's at the top. That's a high expectation. It's a high bar. Gee whiz. It must be hard to be satisfied With anything you achieve If you hold yourself to such a high standard Never be happy Always be hungry

As I have emblazoned on my forehead I got a tattoo since you've been gone Hi everyone, Guy you're in Europe I'm actually technically Or not even technically I'm quite literally legally not in Europe I'm in England Wait, that's still continental Europe

Isn't it? I get confused by this Because everyone talks so much about how Britain isn't part of Europe and I'm like Isn't it? It was just plastered all over the news That's the European Union That's a whole other thing I mean like you're in the continent of

Europe right? Look I'm in Great Britain Okay And I The people of Britain have spoken They've gone to great lengths to make it Make it known that

If you're in Great Britain You are not in Europe What continent are you in right now? Why are you measuring things by continent? Because I'm very I genuinely wanted I hear so much that Britain isn't part of Europe anymore Why are you measuring things by continent? Because I genuinely wanted... I hear so much that Britain isn't part of Europe anymore

and it's confused the heck out of me. I get the EU bit. That makes total sense. Maybe England's part of Africa now. That'd be kind of cool. Yeah, it's the first country to be a part of a continent that it's not in terms of land attached to. God, it would be funny if that was like some fine print on the claws of Brexit.

Is that, yeah, you can leave Europe, but you have to join... Pick another continent. Yeah, and they would have been like, oh, fuck. They would have been pretty good sticking with us, hanging out with Oceania or Australasia, depending on where you're from. It's a good continent, eh, that we've got here, I reckon. A lot of sunshine. Yeah. I'm right into our continent.

And we're so far away from everything. Yeah. We've got a good natural barrier. The ocean. How's your trip been so far, Guy? You've gotten away from the movie. You've gotten away from me. Yeah.

Since I've left yeah it's been um you know since i've left it's probably been the longest we haven't spoken and i would almost say the length of our podcast quite possible the only correspondence i've had with you was you sent a photo of my girlfriend and my very good friend Jono having a coffee with the caption sorry I had to be the one to tell you well I am sorry

but I happened to walk into that cafe and I felt like I had a duty to my friend who I hired in pretty high esteem but obviously not as high as myself as we've talked about. Obviously. It's been really good, thanks, man.

I've been staying in this weird old country house where the doorway to the bathroom nearest me is about five feet high. And have I been concussed, Tim? Almost definitely. You are not a five-foot man. I'm not even close to a five foot man then the bath or the shower sorry is just a loose handle in the bath oh that's no good and you need to lie down in the in the bath to shower it's really weird but you know it's different and isn't that what life's about i'll send you a photo so you can't

even you can't shower standing i showered standing yesterday and just wound up spraying the wall behind me so much oh guy i'm sorry to hear that some people in the rest of africa don't even have running water so maybe you'd like to think about them from time to time yeah i i do i that's what i thought of as i was cussing the shower i thought you know what this is very much not a problem do you think that um standards have started to slip since it's been part of africa britain um uh look it's it's hard for me to say i wasn't here recently enough when it was still in europe to notice any major differences. What I will say is in the British countryside,

which is where I currently am, a lot of disgruntled Brexit voters. Oh, really? They did not see this twist in the tail coming, I've got to say. Oh, wee. Well, look. They were like, sweet, we are finally an entity unto ourselves. And then Africa was like, oh, nah, actually,

you're now hanging out with the cool kids in the back of the bus. And they were like, fuck, we just wanted our own bus. Well, this is where everything's lying now, and we're probably not the best podcast to be tackling geopolitical events in real time. So instead, we shall retreat into Worst Idea Land.

I love that place. Yeah, it's a comfy place. It's where a lot of people escape to when things are going rough. So maybe Britain could all join us, actually. Maybe that should be the continent they join. The continent of Power Podcast. Fuck off, Britain. We're full.

Worst Idea Land has got no more space. I want to jump into a note from a donator, someone who's given us some money called Jack. Jack says, Hey, Tim and Guy, you read these? For the countless hours of entertainment you've given me, I thought I'd send a little tip your way. About a year and a half ago,

a friend of mine mentioned a particular podcast to me where two men went insane while watching and then that's the end of the message um so i'm sorry jack i should look through my emails and see if you tried to complete it outside of paypal because paypal not the most user-friendly interface if i'm being honest so i can i can quite understand this has happened before people have given us two sets of money Just to complete their message before Which is quite touching I like that

I like the deliberately shoddy system That we currently have in place To ensure double donations Just squeezing that juice Really squeezing it Very transparent I've got a write in here On the Worst City of All Time Facebook page

From Kelly I've got a write-in here on the Worst City of All Time Facebook page from Kelly S. Good on you. I never know what to do about names. That was a great hedging of bets. Good on you. An initial was perfect. Hey, Timbo and Guybo. I'm on vacation in LA right now.

I quit my job in Chicago a few days ago and needed to get away before the new gig starts next week. Today was a grand day of biking around Venice Beach. I turned a corner heading to get some lunch when what to mine

wondering eyes should appear. Golds. Golds. Golds. Golds. Golds. Golds Jim.

Yes. I was immediately transported back to the magic of season one. I remembered how much fun I had listened to you do slowly unravel. So as soon as I get that first new job paycheck, I'm sending a little bit of it your way as a thank you. Till then, my gratitude will have to suffice. Love every day.

It's very exciting going to these real world locations and seeing that we haven't just made them up in a fever dream. Yeah. It's pretty cool. I would imagine so. It feels to me like uh kelly's dropped off she's fallen off the wagon though doesn't it how so i bet you uh well she's a she referenced season one and season one only oh i see i think i think she probably won't even hear that message which

makes it all the sweeter i love that she's She's a late bloomer. That's cool. Good on her. She's an early bloomer. No. No, wait. How is she an early bloomer? Because she listened to season one and then finished listening and didn't need any more. Oh, I see.

I see. I see. I got you. I got you. We wanted a relationship. She wanted a one-night stand. Oh, with an early bloomer. One-night stand with an early bloomer.

That's the name of some weird wannabe art house rom-com. I feel like it's a book, self-help book. Here's one from Lily Guy. Lily writes to us alongside a donation. Thank you so much, Lily. Kay. Dear Timbly, Wimbly, and Guy Guy, I want to start by saying thank you for this podcast,

your humor, your positive attitudes, and your accents. I've had a particularly stressful week, and episode 11 of The Worst Idea of All Time lifted me out of my funk, motivating me to donate as a thanks. I watched We Are Your Friends a few weeks ago, requested by a friend, and as someone who has lived in LA for the past six years now,

I found a few things really funny, and not by Maximum Joseph's intentions. Or were they? For example, when the bros receive their measly paychecks from social, the scene starts with three of them hanging out somewhere in the hills overlooking the city, when the fourth, Jarhead, comes into frame out of nowhere to give them their money. Why are they there? Whose idea was this? Did they hike up there just to get their paychecks?

What a terrible idea, especially now that they have to hike back down with envelopes of money. Also, Summerfest was filmed in the parking lot of the American Apparel Warehouse factory near downtown LA, as you can guess from the huge American Apparel sign behind Zicoli as he's playing. The idea that production didn't think it necessary to disguise or cover up that sign is hilarious to me. Maybe it's supposed to look like a sponsor? Props to you guys for making it through 11 watches

and sending out positive energy in 10 bucks your way to help you get through the next 69 hours. 69. Finally, if you're not bored of this already too long message, I was wondering how that image that's used for your podcast was created slash selected. Your friend, Lily. It is such a shitty image.

I really like that we've stuck with it. Yeah, I think it's something called brand recognition, Tim, and it's very important. It's quintessential us. That is so us. Just digging our heels in. When we first started, Tim cobbled together the image,

just because you have to have something on the- You've got to whack something up. On the podcast. And from there, I'll tell you what happened um nothing we never changed it and for good reason it's a hell of an image and i think it captures the spirit of the podcast and the quality of the podcast yeah i think so you don't want to set the bar too high unless you're dealing with you when you is me, which is Tim. That's right.

But how, okay, well, here's an interesting one then. Yeah. Are you not, how do you not hold, I mean, the podcast self is still yourself. Yeah, it's a constant battle because I don't believe in perfectionism. I think that much is abundantly clear if you've listened to this much of the podcast. And if you've ever seen the podcast artwork, sometimes you've just got to get shit done get it online you know true that i've got one for you tim throw it my way it's big it's juicy it's from eric f in palo alto california ah appletown so after being a listener for two seasons I finally went against the advice you two boys have been giving since day one, actually, and actually watched the movie.

This decision was made in part due to my judgment being slightly impaired by some prawn salad I had just eaten, but I tried to make the best of it by taking some notes, a trick I learned from two friends of mine, Spinley Wimbley Timbley and Flash. I won't bother sharing all my thoughts, but I did notice a few points of interest. Being a native of the town Stanford University is in,

the fact that Zicoli and Sophie attend a Stanford party in LA is a bit odd, considering LA is at least a six-hour drive from Stanford. Now that's fair logic, I would say, Eric, but I'd also say I felt like it was a party for former alumni who are maybe now based out of Los Angeles.

That's a good point. Squirrel absolutely was murdered, and my money is on johnny t god um full disclosure we've recorded the next episode ahead of uh ahead of this friend zone and fuck i can't wait for you guys to hear it because um the discussion around squirrel or namely we had a special guest and her speculation around squirrel was so good hey i can't remember exactly what alice like within i'll uh you will hear it'll be a delightful surprise for me as well when i listen to it she called it man uh anyway sorry, that's right. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Eric Hef continues. The fact that Summerfest is not even mentioned until the one hour mark seems extremely bizarre pacing wise. James really the fearless is there almost from dot one but Summerfest

which is apparently a huge deal doesn't show up until the end of the movie. And lastly and most importantly I think it is worth considering the fact that some

if not all of the boys are in fact warlocks. Oh. I'm think it is worth considering the fact that some, if not all of the boys, are in fact warlocks. I'm basing this largely on the fact that during the post-funeral fight, Jarhead calls Johnny Depp a half-blood with quite a bit of venom in his voice. As everyone knows, a half-blood is someone who is the child of one magical and one non-magical parent. Jarhead, who as we know is a hothead, hurls Johnny Depp's parentage at him as an insult. head hurls Johnny Depp's parentage at him as an insult. So I explain many moments like the way the boys managed to sneak all those uppers down as screamers and mints into the festival with no trouble at all, despite squirrels hesitation. You boys are brave boys. And I salute you.

I'll be supporting the troops as soon as my next paycheck comes in. Eric, I prefer you don't read my last name on the off chances on the friend zone. But I also know this is the last part you'll get to. So it may be too late. People are starting to learn the game. If you definitely don't want any part of your name in, you've got to put that shit way up top. Like, maybe make it your name.

Your name should be, don't read my name, please. Yeah, your name should be Anon. Well, Eric, I really liked your message, but I think even more so, I really enjoyed Guy's read of it. I like the decisions that you made. It was great thanks a lot of energy i don't know i don't know whether or not you'd be into those um flourishes like or yeah those responses to the message as it was read out but i just i just followed my impulse i followed my heart i like that you went for it and i think you made the right call good on you thanks to, Tim. Kyle writes, Hey, Spindly, Timbly, Wimbly,

and Big Bad Guy Guy, the Mountain Montgomery. Firstly, Jesus Christ. Bloody Ripper Drillbert. I've not heard that one yet. Bloody Ripper Drillbert tickling the relentless shit

out of my funny bone. You get me. We get him, Guy. We do get you. We do. Also, I have qualms. I have a qualms, he says. I'm going to ignore the A there.

I'm less than lukewarm about the idea that you are actually enjoying the fuckboy fiesta of a flick this year. No doubt the potty is still as amusing as a three-way John Key flavoured handshake. That's a little New Zealand reference. You guys should all Google it. John Key handshake. However, the most amusing part of you idiots talking over the top of each other every week is the fact that you fucking hate doing it saying that there are truly some nuggets of fried gold popping out all over the place so you still have my utmost attention

and appreciation i can't wait for a few weeks down the track when you truly start getting fucking bleak on this thing also spanders watson is my Kiwi, but then it's you guys. XOXO. Now, Kyle, thanks for writing in. Firstly, I'd like to say that Spanners Watson is a mate of mine, used to work with him. Great guy. His name's Phil.

Spanners Watson was a character for everyone else, 99.9% of people who are listening who don't know who Spanners Watson is. he was a character from an old tv show called back of the y that was on in tv tv uh in new zealand very briefly and it was awesome spanners was a kind of uh how do you say uh mentally deficient south island motor mechanic who used to rig up the cars and then their stuntman would go and drive them

and then get into all sorts of injuries. It was good. Bloody good. So, Kyle, I'm going to overlook the fact that you're not that into this season by the sounds of it because we're having a bit too much fun up top. Nah, he likes it. And I've got to say,

I don't know if it's coming across on the mics, but neither of us are very happy right now. No, no, definitely not. Not right now, right now, but when watching the film right now. Yeah. I've got one for you, Timbly Wimbly. Yeah, chuck it away. Old Spindly Timbly from a guy I'm just going to simply call Double D.

Double D writes, Okay, so I love getting sentimental with James Reid. I have a theory about James Reid from The Fearless and Squirrel. This movie is actually an art heist film, a la The Thomas Crown Affair. James Reid from The Fearless and Squirrel are partners in crime. It gets hairy, and Squirrel has to fake his own death to avoid the law. What's in the box?

A fantastic stolen artwork. But here is the twist. James Reid from the Fearless and Zicoli are the same person, a la Fight Club. Boom. Earth-shattering. Whoa. Is that the whole message?

Yeah. That's pretty... That's pretty great. Wait, so where does the suitcase come from? The wall was mine. Yeah, I got that. Where does the briefcase sort of come from? There is no briefcase. It's pretty great. Wait, so where does the suitcase come from? The wall was mine. Yeah, I got that. Where does the briefcase sort of come from? There is no briefcase.

It's the box. Oh, wait, no. Yeah, the MacBook. Okay, sorry. Really should have got that on first reading. Okay, I'm with you. Huh. Huh.

So it's artwork. And Zuccoli is James Reid from The Feelers, which means Zuccoli was part of the illustrious New Zealand rock four-piece that's been skirting the charts for the last 20 years. That's right. And more than that, it means that there is a huge fraction in the fuckboys between Jarhead and Johnny Depp and Zuccoli and Squirrel

Where do you think Squirrel lives? After he's faked his own death Well maybe Squirrel is the imagination of Jarhead And James Reid is the imagination of Ziccoli So there's actually way less characters Than we initially thought He's nothing if not ambitious that maximum joseph we're truly in worst idea of all time territory

how many movies are buried within this one garbage movie because that um kind of hiding something super valuable that you never get to see that's very pulp fiction as well where it never gets revealed what's in the briefcase that's right i listened to an episode of uh i was there too which is a great mac girly podcast where he interviews like uh actors or character often character actors from well-known movies or scenes within movies uh and he talked to the guy who played marvin in um in pop fiction yeah and he talked about what was actually in the briefcase hold on my mom's just come into the room she's been trying to talk to me pretty much the whole time i keep shooing her away g'day charlotte says tim

g'day tim uh we're going to drive drive to Daisy's house in Fabersham tonight and be near the sea to do some biking and go to London tomorrow. Yeah, awesome. Bloody beautiful. Okay. Oh, look, it's all good stuff. It's almost the family zone on the friend zone, isn't it?

It's the friends and family zone. Yeah, it is. I think that was nice of mum to come in and tell me what i'm doing today i'm 27 bloody good do we want to get into this now guy this is the most appropriate forum for us to to try and dig apart your relationship with your mother? Look, it's healthy and fine. Yeah, that's definitely the sense I'm getting from your tone at the moment. I lost track of what I was saying.

I googled who Marvin, we're talking about Marvin from Pulp Fiction. You're talking about that podcast, I was there too. fiction you're talking about oh yeah yeah i was there too yeah yeah and so he was saying that the the what was in the briefcase was whatever whatever you wanted to see in the briefcase was the direction so that was what tarantino told his actors hmm so you know because you know how it's like a version. Oh, you reckon Tarantino is lazy filmmaking? No, no, no, not necessarily. Just I reckon he's got an idea of like a tangible thing that it probably was. Then again, he's pretty clever.

Maybe he didn't. Maybe he's that good at abstract filmmaking. Bloody good on him, eh? Tarantino. We should have done a Tarantino this time. Do you hold him to a reasonably high standard? Certainly do Well he's consistently measured Higher a lot than yourself

Yeah he does well doesn't he Can I read a message from Joe? It's short and I'm actually Probably from here on in Not on this episode because I think we're Fast running out of time But I think I might tend a bit more towards The short messages now.

The long ones, they kind of soak up a lot of the time and the energy. Here's a message from Joe, and the reason I've picked it is because of his location. He says, greetings from Uganda. I noticed in the latest pod that guy very casually mentioned travelling with a cutlass. Could you please follow up on this in the friend zone? If we're talking about the sword, I'm only aware of pirates traveling with cutlasses.

If we're talking about the Oldsmobile, that's grandma territory. Cheers, Joe. Well, I'm not quite sure about what that final sentence means. Yeah, I was thinking of the sword. It's, you know know like a cutlass What does he mean that's grandma territory What's the oldsmobile Oh maybe it's a car

Maybe there's a like a Nissan Cutlass or something out there That would make sense No I travel with the 19th century French naval cutlass That's pretty amazing Good stuff I'm a pretty amazing. Good stuff.

I'm a pretty amazing dude. There's so many messages here, Guy. I think we're out of time, though, unfortunately. Well, yeah, I've got my bloody Charlotte Montgomery breathing down my neck. I'll bet you do. Hey, look, here's what I want you to do, Guy, is no matter how frustrated you get in that british heat trapped in a continent that you didn't anticipate flying to which is africa i think what you need to do is realize that charlotte

is a wonderful human being and just really make the best of your trip together and um if you need to take a little a little break you know do that do your breathing uh drink a lot of water but just recognize that you got a good family there and uh you're on truly the trip of a lifetime but it only will be if you put your heart into it hey thanks a lot tim i can't um tell you how much I needed that right now and it's going to make a world of difference to my outlook on the rest of the trip and hey Tim

I know that you demand a lot from not only yourself but those around you but just remember that you've got to let a few goals be scored to score a few goals to make the game competitive and I'll let you interpret that as you will I will

it'll be like Tarantino's briefcase very good alright guy enjoy alright Britain thanks Tim enjoy

New Zealand next time I talk to you and next time people listen to us we will have just watched We Are Your Friends which as you may have noted is not something that preceded this conversation Bye bye