The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Fifty

Episode Date: July 18, 2017

It's all Kimchi and bad weather with the boiz this week. Sweet, innocent weather. UNTIL BLOODY CLIMATE CHANGE! Monty and Batman are busting out a lovely array of letters including someone endevouring to smoke just as much as Barry O and someone else who witnessed in real time, the life in Guy's eyes dying. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well it's the friendzone, with Tim and Guy, come to the friendzone, and have a good time, yes it's the friendzone, with Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time. Hello and welcome to the friendzone, my name is Tim Batt. My name is Guy Montgomery. This feels weird, feels like we haven't done it in ages. Tim- It's like we've forgotten how to ride the bike well maybe just me i don't know man you and me just we're doing it we're putting putting it back together we've pulled down we put it back together that's what we do feels like we broke it no we didn't break none you don't think nah so long as we're not broken it's not broken and i think

we're not broken therefore the thing is also not broken. You know what I'm saying? I hear you. I hear you. But look, we're here. We're in a room. It's wonderful to share a space with you. We've just had a wonderful breakfast together.

I had some kimchi thing. How was that? I didn't even ask during the meal. So good. It's very spicy. Was it? Was it just what you wanted? Yes, it was.

Did it warm you? Absolutely. I'd like to establish the scene for everyone listening. It's a wintry day in Auckland. Paint a picture. A wintry day in Auckland usually means that the temperature is less than double digits. And that might not sound like a lot to those of you out there. But as an Aucklander, we're not really used to it.

I grew up in colder places. Yo. Oh, man. Now it will sound like I'm real close. Whereas before it sounded like I was really far away. Yeah, that was your microphone being completely 180 degrees backwards. Well, rest assured that's not happening anymore. So I'm just telling you guys it's cold.

My fingers are cold. I can see why Tim ordered the spicy kimchi dish. It warmed you. Yeah. We've got a cold snap happening in New Zealand, and we bloody love weather here. We talk about it. We feed off of it.

We make news just about the weather. I don't think New Zealand is unique in that regard. I think globally, weather is one of the few sort of common denominators that moves conversation forward. It's just good, isn't it? Because it's not controversial. If it's cold, we can all agree on that. You know, that's what's so terrible about climate change.

It's politicized the one little bit of chatter that we could all indulge in. That's right. That's exactly right. Like, what is it? In masonry, you're not allowed to talk about politics or religion. Is that right? Like Freemasons? Yeah, yeah.

And I think that weather was also a safe space in that regard. But now, because of climate change, even the weather is tarnished by people's persuasions. I actually... Oh, you know what, Tim? Finished your thought. Nah, I was going to... And another thing!

Just saying that triggered a memory of an idea for a stand-up comedy joke that I haven't written out, so I'm not going to... Treat this podcast as your doorstep. Absolutely not. Suffice it to say, I think if everyone just chilled out, we'd all get along just fine. Yeah, you're not wrong there. I'm trying to, once again, play the fantastic game of which messages of these have we delved

into before and which haven't we? Hey, if this is your first episode of The Worst Idea of All Time, welcome to the show. It's the friend zone, Tim. This is the friend zone, which is an in-between episode. So, The Worst Idea of All Time is an idea that Guy and I had two and a half years ago. What are you doing right now? What are you doing? No one's here by mistake.

No one's dabbling in Friendzone 49 as the entry point of the podcast. You're out of your fucking mind. The original premise was to watch and review the same movie weekly for a year and we still do that. DJ! Don't let the bat drop.

And Guy, gomma, gomma, gomma, gomma, gomma, chameleon. He comes and goes. He comes and goes. So a few weeks ago, I updated my iTunes review for the worst Saturday of all time from whatever nonsense I had to a more relevant nonsense that would tickle loyal listeners, or at least myself,

and confound people actually looking for a podcast recommendation. It's exactly what we hope for out of our reviews. Thank you. It's very inviting and should go in. Have never gone in, scrolled by many times, always thinking it looks inviting, and I should go in and try the experience. I did not have the heart to change it from a five to a three-star rating

for a more accurate parallel. Anyway, I'd all but forgotten about it until yesterday when iTunes gave me a podcast recommendation called The Beancast, which, upon skimming the blurb, looks like a boring marketing podcast. Given practically my entire library of podcast subscriptions are TV and movie related, the only way I can see that they thought of me for this podcast is that the bots saw my review and deduced I was a fan of beans, despite never mentioning romancing the bean once in the whole review. I guess leaving a verbatim review connected us two strangers in some way.

So hopefully the cafe reviewer is also left scratching his head at odd podcast suggestions. Coincidentally, all this would make for a fascinating marketing strategy for whatever the Beancast discussed on a weekly basis. Or perhaps I'm reading too much into it.

Nah. Friendfully yours, Guy Incognito. So that was in reference to a TripAdvisor review for the cafe. Romancing the Bean. So he just took that TripAdvisor review and transcribed it as a podcast review. Fantastic. What a great use of getting a bit of content having multi things to do with it.

What's it called? You know. World building? Sure. Fuck, I don't know. That's what everyone. I'm so tired. Guy and I went out drinking last night. It awesome yeah we had a good time we don't see

enough of each other at the moment so we'd relish these opportunities when they come that was really good fun actually you guys should have been you would have loved it uh but the world of marvel over at marvel studios they're always talking about world building right that's all that's pretty much all their movies are they're like hour and a half or two hour long advertisements for the next movie that Marvel's gonna make

watch out whoever the next Robert Ebert is Guy Montgomery's coming to legitimately take your title as movie reviewer extraordinaire

was it Robert or Roger Ebert Roger what did I say Robert oh my bad but you know I saw the Spider-Man Homecoming film

I loved it Great I'm really looking forward to it It was funny man Excellent That guy they've got His name I can't remember Who's Spider-Man

Spider-Man now Yeah Fucking He tickles me I think he's great He was Billy Elliot On uh What?

He was Billy Elliot In the West End Oh he's not Billy Elliot From the film No He's a British Uh Dan Oh, he's not Billy Elliot from the film. No, he's a British dancer. And he's got a great little dancer's body. Great little tush? Far out, man.

He's so muscly. Yeah? Yeah. Is he a ballet dancer? I guess so. Billy Elliot's a ballet dancer. This letter begins, Dear Tim and Guy Guy,

please do not use my last name. You couldn't pronounce it and there are many drugs involved in the story first of all have i got you on the hook guy yeah big time first of all thanks for the hours of joy you've brought to me me and lots of my dutch friends are real fans and we can honestly say that if you ever come to holland slash netherlands slash the hague slash amsterdam you got friends. Yeah, boy. Or girl. Also, thanks for the awkward moments where I uncontrollably laughed out loud in with

headphones on, public places, and people looked at me funny. I'm Dutch, and they teach us from a young age not to have too much fun. Those quote marks are there. The Dutch- No one else could see the quote marks, Tim. Oh, but the emphasis was not mine. For those of you listening along, Tim also put his hands up and did the inverted commas. The Dutch saying even goes, act normal because normal is weird enough.

Fuck him. That is a crazy saying. It can't be real. Act normal because normal is weird enough. It's self-defeating, that saying. This long i'm gonna i'm gonna get into it so in the context of having fun i've got a story to share the last episode i listened to number 45 started out with the intro song playing slower than usual maybe half the normal speed please don't do that again the slow intro induced a horrible deja vu moment for me is it happening happening again? A couple of months ago, me and some friends had our first and only encounter with the drug 2C-B.

Why? It's supposed to be a mix between MDMA and LSD. Fun, right? Nope. Being the 27-year-old responsible grown-ups we are, we took too much. I remember a story of one of you, two pills in a strip club, so I don't judge. That was me. Okay. i don't remember that story uh long story short we never left the room and things got really intense even cartoon

interpretations of the 60s kind of intense in the end i could literally see sound waves coming from the speakers that would have been epic if it had not been for this one guy who only wanted to listen to tomorrow never knows from revolver epic song but after 42 listens i could totally feel how you It had not been for this one guy who only wanted to listen to Tomorrow Never Knows from Revolver. Epic song. But after 42 listens, I could totally feel how you guys feel on a weekly basis. It was just too much. There was no escaping. Every time I closed my eyes and saw the shapes when I opened them, I saw the same.

But no weird sounds. Just visual stuff. As a musician, I hate it when my hearing gets weird. I don't like to lose control like that so after an hour or three yes things got weirder and weirder and it took me and my weird shaped brain to another room to calm down smart move kind of because this is where you guys come in out of nowhere you've got the love you've got to oh you've got to love the chemically induced mind i thought about a thing you said in one of the first episodes of the second season of your podcast.

It was Miley Cyrus' cameo in Sex and the City 2 on the red carpet. You talked about how something like that would really help me while tripping on shrooms or LSD. Something to hold on to. An anchor point. Something that shows you life is still life. So, what did I do to calm down? I fired up your podcast. Listening to your two Kiwi voices would definitely calm my mind.

Take me to a place because the worst idea of all time equals fun, right? Nope. After some struggles with my headphones and a 43rd listen of Tomorrow Never Knows, I finally managed to put on an episode, only to find out that everything was in slow motion. Your voices, the music music it just sounded terrifying i freaked out i took the headphones off and everything was normal again headphones in in my mind the 2cb had changed the brains my brain cells forever and i'd never be able to hear normal again this went on for quite some time even when everything was quite normal So, what happened?

Apparently there's a button on my iPhone that puts podcasts on half times normal speed. So that's just what my shaking fingers apparently did. Stupid. My own fault, but I ended up listening to you in slow motion. I didn't know. I just thought my brain was fried. Imagine that. I need to hear something I can try, something to calm me down.

It's the worst idea. Okay, I'm done for. I'm calling my mother. That's in quote marks. I'm talking to himself or she. Thought back at the moment quite, I thought back at the moment quite, oh quite sometimes, but shouldn't really explain it to anyone. But this last episode's intro gave me a real throwback, so I need to share this with you. Rather long.

Tim and Guy, you are absolute heroes, but never ever bro me. Thanks for everything. Your friend, Jory. J-O-E-R-I. for everything your friend joe re j-o-e-r-i p.s i donated 10 bucks to the paypal for the good cause and became a patron because also hashtag pay the boys pps no i'm not willing to try pcp while listening to your podcast what a journey that was a good little story actually um i'm sure my enjoyment of it was enhanced by uh i guess it's sort of a similar experience. I've had hallucinogens not entirely agree with me for the duration, you know, for however long they last.

And I remember seeking solace in a podcast. And I sort of like left all of my friends in the city and ran home and got in a taxi. I sort of like left all of my friends in the city and ran home and got in a taxi. And my fear was that I couldn't talk to anyone without them revealing their like truest secret or something or self. Wow. And the taxi driver. The ego on this guy. Yeah, exactly.

It was so intense. And the taxi driver was telling me how, like within 10 seconds of sitting in his taxi, he was telling me how he'd been married to his wife for 17 years and he'd never taken her by the hand and asked her to dance and i was just like pull over and got out of the taxi and ran and ran home and i put on a podcast to try and like slow down my thoughts but i just could like i could did the opposite i didn't have it on in half speed but it just felt like my thoughts were spiraling into themselves and then the other noise was also like... Contributing to that hot mess. So I can really... You know, the highs are high and the lows are terrifying. Yeah.

But I enjoyed that anecdote. So thank you. Jory. Jory. Jory. Jory. Sounds more Dutch, doesn't it? Jory.

Jory. Yeah, good. Like Fiordlands. Okay. I got one. Please. Oh. It's gone.

He's got it. It's gone. I know. It's just boys, good boys, dear good boys. I'm an episode or two behind, but can I get some info on the final event, please? Location and dates would be amazing so I can book a plane ticket. It's because you know I won't miss it, if at all possible. That is from a friend of the podcast, Nicholas Judd.

To whom I say say we don't know yet no and i don't i've got to stop getting in the habit of thinking out loud while we're recording podcasts because i just yeah i agree to him i think it's really damaging when you do that well well i think out loud is fine but not when it comes to plans of things because then invariably they don't happen and people get disappointed i'm sick of no i'm sick of disappointing quietly you know work away on our plans and then announce them when they're ready. So I've got a big long one here instead. Oh, throw it at me.

Hello, my boys. A couple of things here, but first let me say thank you for all the hours of welcome company and rich entertainment over the years. Hey, you're welcome. Now on to business. In the previous Friendzone episode, Tim expressed an interest In shaking the hand

Of US President Jimmy Carter But mused that he may be a man With a weak handshake President Carter was a peanut farmer Before becoming the president So there is evidence suggesting He may in fact be quite a strong man

However I suppose Peanuts are a rather small crop So maybe they don't require A particularly strong handed farmer Also I only know He was a peanut farmer from SNL So that may not even be true. It is.

It is true. We're on to a new paragraph which starts with next up, which tells me that this is their version of Asked and Answered. They have opened and closed the topic

while not committing to anything or shoot. They're like, maybe this, but also maybe not. Dealt with, onwards. What have they written? That's all we have also maybe not. Dealt with, onwards. What have they written? Well, so that's all we have on President Carter.

Right, right, right. Next up, like fellow Friends owner Valerie, I have also been undertaking a presidential challenge. I'm not a cigarette smoker, but my goal is to smoke the same number of cigarettes as US President Barack Obama did during his time in office. Pleased to announce that bams gave up smoking on february 9th of 2011 which means i still have another year and eight months to go

i would donate to the troops but as it turns out smoking is an expensive effort love you boys that is awesome from someone i'll just i mean that's not awesome no one should smoke but um it is funny what a what a completely stupid reason to start smoking. I don't think there's many good reasons to start smoking, but, I mean, that's ridiculous. That is very funny. Like, that is, coming from us as well, that is beyond my comprehension of...

What was that person's name? Lake. Hey, Lake, can't help but notice you've started smoking which is weird you're a fully grown adult most people kind of pick that up when they're 15 or not at all yeah you know i just i'm so bummed out about what's happening with trump that i wanted to remind myself of the obama administration and the way that i'm doing that is by smoking cigarettes just like to the detail the exact same number as barry barmer did good shit that's great hey tw and gg timbly wimbly that's what the w is for it has taken me a

while to get in touch with you as i feel i shouldn't make contact until i was completely up to date with the episodes this week i achieved up-to-date status and really feel like i'm part of the whole experience i went into a guy at the melbourne comedy festival and had a chat to him after the set he asked me and my friends how we had heard about the show and i said i was a worst idea listener i instantly noted a dark cloud from above guy at the mere reminder of the project and i think it was at that moment i realized the toll that three years of the worst idea has taken on you boys. There have been some dark times on the podcast, but there was something about seeing the shifted guy from happy-go-lucky kind of fella riding a wave of euphoria after a darn good set

into man with a tired, far-off look in his eye as he contemplated his next watch of We Are Your Friends that really brought it home. So I just wanted to say cheers for the sacrifice, fellas. Worst Idea has been 100% my favorite podcast of the last 18 months payday is on the first so i'll slide a little donation your way also guy your melbourne comedy festival show was the best thing i saw at the fest top notch tim didn't see yours my bad i never get my act together to go to anything until the last two weeks and you're all done ski byiba. They're much love from Alex.

And can I include, because Alex, you know, if you're talking to a Gmail person and they're a Gmail person, if they've gone to the trouble of putting up a profile photo, it shows you. Alex is a good looking cat. Very handsome. Can I see a picture of Alex? I want enough it will jolt my memory. Let's see if I can get... I felt like Alex pretty accurately captured

I don't remember the specific look at that tall glass of water oh yeah holy that's crazy handsome huh so he's uh yeah um but yeah I think he accurately captured the sensei because you know after you've finished the show after you've finished the show, after you've finished doing a show. Yes. You've sort of just achieved, as a comedian, you've just performed your job for the day, essentially, if you're performing one show that day. And so you have the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction of your work being done. And then for that, for the rug to be pulled out from beneath you immediately by someone, just, you know, you know it's uh saying yeah it's a nice thing that they like something that we make but uh i feel like he accurate like what he described definitely happened and he accurately

captured what i experienced so and i didn't know that i had such a uh visible towel yeah yeah not a good poker face yeah like i wanted to be the cool, bubbly comedian saying, hey, thanks so much for coming to my show, really appreciate it, and maintain that energy, but alas... Was not to be. Beyond my emotional control.

This one here is a short one from a friend called James in Sydney, Australia. Hey boys, my immediate thoughts after seeing this new album title are that the Fooies, the Foo Fighters, have announced their ninth album Which is June, September

Are big fans of Paige's Dick Fuller Diamonds Mouthful of Concrete business The album title Is Concrete and Gold Really? Yeah, I tell you what I cannot wait A nod to the boys

To forget that that album is coming out Here is the nine track listing For the forthcoming Foo Fighters album. Number one, All Hail Brady. Track two, Run. Okay. Track three, Make It Right. Four, The Sky Is A Neighbourhood.

Wait, what are you pulling from? The actual track listing for the forthcoming Foo Fighters album. Oh, okay, cool. So it's exactly what you would think, but just the first track is called All Hail Brady, just so we're on the same page. Do any of these songs sound like they have good titles? La Di Da.

Dirty Water. Arrows. Happy Ever After. Open parenthesis, zero hour, close parenthesis, Sunday rain. You know, it's about time someone talked about how it's always raining on a Sunday. The line, and of course, the closing track, concrete and gold. I was going to say, you know, people are going to listen to that. Of course they will. there are six of them now Foo Fighters

yeah and one of them looks like a clone of another one anyway I've got a picture here that was sent from someone it just says Ploobooble

Plap Blap and it's a Paul Blart Mall Cop reference it's kind of hellish it's a movie poster for Paul Blart Mall Cop where he has come out wrong. It's like a big doughy mess that's come out of the oven of Paul Blart's face. You should definitely post that up.

That's hilarious and disturbing. Here's a message from a New Zealander. Oh, wait. Nope, I'm wrong. An Australian. Just bought a data cap for one of my sons. Too young to drink and doesn't play rugby, but gets into all that computer shit.

He will probably ironically think it's actually cooler than a dad joke. Best of luck and blame RTR FM for me listening and buying something to support you. Baz. God, that was the most New Zealand message I've ever received. RTR FM. Do you know what RTRFM is? No, do you?

It's a community radio station in Perth, West Australia that I did an interview on. Are you serious? While I was over there for the Melbourne Roadshow. That is awesome. See, you always do those interviews and you go, literally no one's listening to this. It's just ticking a box for a publicist somewhere.

Yeah, this is fucking dumb. And yet you sold a whole cap off the back of that. Actually, I would like to give a shout out to the breakfast host. I think her name was Caitlin, who hosted breakfast on RTRFM. She good. She was outstanding. I listened to her with my taxi driver on the way to the interview. And really good.

And had a lovely, really good interview with her. So shout out to RTRFM. Thanks, Baz, for the reminder. I got one Tim. I mean, I got, I got shit loads. Yeah,

there's a few. Hello. Tim and Guy, I love you guys. And I hope you're both staying strong as this season wraps up. I'm reaching out because I'm interested in taking you two up in your Patreon advertising offer. Hmm. Oh, we offered ad space on our patreon i think this is a woman who i've been talking to on the emails perhaps is her name katie i believe so in which instance uh it's probably a conversation

that can continue taking place there this feels this feels like business rather than friendship yeah which is what this space is for wow katie's a stand-up historian oh yes fuck it i know that this is what she's like trying to get us to pay for or she's trying to pay us for anyway but let me get into this while it's fresh in my mind so she started this um facebook uh sorry youtube channel of her like talking about the kind of art and craft of stand-up. And I watched the first episode she had of it, or video or whatever, and it's fucking awesome. And it looks brand new as well. She doesn't have a lot of subscribers,

so let's pump that out. What's the deal? How do we find out? Her YouTube channel is under the name of Katie Meerkat. That's Katie, K-A-T-I-i-e and meerkat spelt like the animal meerkat yep uh and the first video is stand-up comedy and genre and introduction and it um it was it was i was like really uh surprised by how good it was which is sounds like a very underhanded compliment for katie but i am definitely going to watch more of her shit because it looks great she's got an excellent sort of presentation style.

She's also speaking at a humor studies conference this summer. That's so awesome. Because it's such a weird thing to delve into the academics of comedy, but I love that some people are doing that. Before I started performing comedy, I read like an encyclopedia type history of stand-up comedy. And I also read, I did what you need me to do, which is just read a book on how to perform stand-up comedy and i also read uh i did what you're never going to do which is just read a book

on how to perform stand-up comedy really yeah was it useful whatsoever uh the encyclopedia sort of style history was really good and then the other book was uh maybe good in the principle that it was just re-establishing what i already knew? Or just, no, you don't know, is the answer, no. Here's a lovely letter from Joshua. I assume it's lovely, I haven't read it yet. And the subject line is, what our friendship means to me. Hello, Tim and Guy. Wanted to send you a little friendly message your way

and let you know how your friendship has influenced my life. I now say yes in the Kiwi dialect. I refer to groups of people as boys i have introduced the shining light to my seven-year-old son in which we share a favorite moment from our day oh that is heartwarming that is heartwarming i continue to tell numerous people colleagues and strangers about your worst idea and despite my praise of your experiment only one person shout out to aleandro has taken up the mantle. I have watched Grown Ups 2, twice actually, once with and once without the commentary.

Sex and the City, actually just about 20 minutes. Coffee Guy, Dick Bot, Brady, et cetera. We are your friends, by far the worst and most offensive of the trilogy. You are good boys despite being real pieces of shit. I look forward to your further adventures in lunacy. Hail the Rat King, Joshua. Thank you, Joshua. This message comes from London, England.

Proposition. Instead of punishing yourselves by adding an extra eight watches to the total, why not do a double, triple watch next week? That would only be an extra two watches, Why not do a double, triple watch next week? That would only be an extra two watches, but would have the potent and lasting burn of watching the boys for 4.5 hours consecutively. Greetings from London.

Love the poddy. I will not comment on that message. I shan't. I'd sooner not dredge up decisions made and lived with either. This is a place for positivity. Positivity and friendship, my British fellow. I know that you guys are grumpy and miserable all the time because it's constantly raining and you're good moaners. Man, I'm beating up on that dude.

Sorry. Thanks for getting in touch, London. Kyle says, Hey, boys. Just like the title suggests, please don't forget a Wellington live show. Oh, subject line is don't forget a wellington live show oh subject line is don't forget a wellington live show after reading my last email you said you would try head

down here together after the comedy fest uh and with the end of the potty coming close i thought i would remind you lads i don't want the hours i sunk into the movie to go to waste without hearing it discussed live and the poor nation's non-super city capital deserves this i just realized with the audio commentary being released i'm going to have to delve into this piece of shit film again. At least some time has passed since last time. Hope to see you boys in the coming weeks, months. Keep on fighting. You're in the homestretch.

Live every moment and try to make the party dance before midnight. Your bro, Kyle. Hey, thank you, Kyle. Hey, thanks, Kyle. Yeah, if that is your real name. As discussed earlier in this edition of the Friend Zone, Hey thank you Kyle Hey thanks Kyle Yeah if that is your real name As discussed earlier in this edition of the Friend Zone Tim and I will go away To a private retreat

Where we will discuss Such matters as planning shows That's all I'll say on that We've changed man Nah dog Here we go in the last episode i learned that maximum joseph apparently has knowledge of the paradoxes of classical set theory is this ringing any bells

bertrand russell created a paradox goes like this say there's a town with one barber and he shaves everyone in town except for people who shave themselves. Who shaves the barber? If he doesn't shave himself, then he is part of the set of people who don't shave themselves, and therefore he must shave himself. Conversely, if he does shave himself, then he is part of the set of people he doesn't shave. The Somaly's tits paradox is clearly an allusion to this classical problem. If my dorm is made up of all the people who have seen so many tits

and I haven't seen them, then what dorm do I belong to? If I haven't seen them, then I must leave the dorm. But once I do, then it's no longer my dorm and everyone in my new dorm has seen the tits. It's not exactly the same, but pretty close. There are some hidden depths to Maximum Joseph, or as I now call him, Supremium Joseph. No, no, no, no.

Let me stop you there caller no let's not attribute false genius to this man it's a mistake that was in the script

which we picked oh what's happening oh god someone's ring I've got a new cell phone yeah you've got a new ringtone that is ridiculous

yeah sorry about that are you in an ad for Huawei right now yeah I know right sorry or I will now call him Supra Supramum Joseph. So S-U-P-R-E-M-U-M Joseph.

And then he says, I sincerely hope someone else in the listenership knows real analysis or else I just wasted a great pun. Well, it certainly was wasted on us. But it's interesting, isn't it? You know, you think you're not necessarily discovering something new, but you think you're, or – actually, I didn't think that when we were talking about that paradox we were discovering something new,

but like – I mean, I was just pointing out an inconsistency in the script, basically. Like a dumb line. Do you know what I was doing? I went, hey, this line's stupid, but I love how you've extrapolated that and attributed it to like a it seems like a philosophical quandary you know

some sort of first year university problem that you would be taught when you learn how to think good never did philosophy myself nor university Chris writes and I let me say this

the first word of this email I had legitimately forgotten okay let me just preface it with that. Okay, guy, you on board? I had forgotten that this was happening. 60?

I know you are brave boys and you are strong boys, but I worry about you and I want you both to be safe. The guilt of your accidental hiatus clearly weighs heavy upon your shoulders, but surely spending an additional 800 minutes with we are your friends can be considered cruel and unusual punishment seeing as your crime relates only to the frequency of your viewings perhaps a more fair punishment might simply be uh double down on the next week we are your friends double feature kisses and wishes christopher i forgot I added eight. Did you forget as well? You look distraught. Use your words. No. This letter comes... Can I... That brief pause that you heard,

that was Guy rubbing his face heartily with his hands. Dearest Tim and Guy, this podcast is bloody hilarious. Aw. I started season two, drawn in by someone else's. Oh, Marcy. Friend of the podcast.

Oh my goodness. I know Amy. Dearest Tim and Guy, this podcast is bloody hilarious. I started season two, drawn in by someone else's. Marcy Gowan-Bambury's recap of the commentary

by Michael and Patrick King. Still fucking hilarious. Take on that, by the way. Now I'm balls deep in season one. For your information, prawn salad might be the single best piece of audio I've ever heard in my entire life. Also, informative?

Who bloody knew the Hindenburg had survivors? Yeah. Well, I do now. Seriously, though, chaps, this shit is gold. I'll beg, steal, and bribe your mad asses to do a season four. Love you and this long

time. XOXO Gossip Girl or Amy, whichever you prefer. Now, we've been very clear on this and let me reiterate, there will not be a season four unless they make another Sex in the City or Grown Ups film.

Those are the two exceptions and that's it. We can't keep doing this i i'm sorry but we just can't yeah it's not it's not possible what you what you want is literally outside of what is physically possible we've all got to move beyond we've all got to move on to the next you know i'm just going to say that and i think that is probably um about all the friend zoning we can get done today you know what i like that is probably um about all the friend zoning we can get done today you know what i like that i was thinking about the other day we've taken a word which had severely negative connotations about supposed you know relationship assumptions between

uh generally members of the opposite sex and uh you know to be extremely stereotypical describing a situation where a boy can't convince a girl to engage in a romantic sense with him because they've become close companions in a platonic sense. We've taken that term. We've turned it into something beautiful. You know? And I like that. I like it too.

I like that our listeners are using the term shining light to share a lovely moment of their day with their seven-year-old son. I like that a lot. That's what's crazy to me is that this has the opportunity to cut through to um other people like you know like the child presumably doesn't listen to the worst idea of all time and i i have never really thought about an ad restriction but i think seven is too young but you know the fact that shining light will then be in their parlance and then they'll take that to friends and that might spread into that you know the way that these things uh

spread their wings and fly is staggering to me uh so thank you so much for your letters um we will be back many times again before this is all done and dusted because of the reckless and sort of unconsolidated decision making by my associate it's great to be here everybody and yeah until then thank you so much you can stop recording tim because i'm done well it's the friend zone with tim and guy come to the friend zone and have a good time yes it's the friend zone with tim and guy because making friends is the best idea of all time