The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Fifty Eight

Episode Date: October 4, 2017

Sponsored by DollarShaveClub.comTimguy and Guytim are in the studio reading fan mail in synnecrosis, which is terrifying. But before that nightmare, shout outs to Kind Eric, queires about Monty's on and offstage height and Timbly's fun with words. And idioms. And catchphrases! Also, tender hooks or tenterhooks? The answer may suprise you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, come to the friend zone, and have a good time, yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time. Hello, and welcome to the friend zone after that lovely, jaunty, uplifting tune kindly provided by... Christopher Brown. Chris Brown. Here I am. Hey everybody. It's old Timbo and Guy. Chris Brown. Here I am. Hey, everybody. It's old Timbo and Guy Guy. Yeah.

Your old mates. Back in a room together. We're in the middle of a storm. We're in the eye of it. Yeah. I don't know if that's true. It's not even really a storm. It's squally is what I'd describe.

If I was a seafaring man, I'd describe this as squally. A squall. And do they have squabs on boats, which are those sitting cushions? I thought a squab was... It's a squall. Head inside they have squabs on boats? Which are those sitting cushions? I thought a squab was... It's a squall. Head inside and grab a squab. What's the thing that's in all the 9-11 Truth documentaries where a bit of concrete gets blown?

Is that a squib or a squab? That's a squib. Okay, gotcha. Holy. We're off to a flyer. First of all, I'd like to say a huge thank you to all of our friends who have been celebrating the good news with us

that there will be no Sex and the City 3. Pop the fucking champagne, ladies and gents. I was genuinely concerned about this one because they've been talking about script, they've been talking about shoot dates. I remember it would have been maybe not a year ago, but there was an announcement that sort of circulated saying, it's on.

We're in pre-production. Get your engines ready for some more rampant consumerism. Made from the ashes of a TV show that had a point. Did you say rampant? I don't know what I said. Rampart? Can we talk about Rampart for one second? If you know what it is, because I don't.

It's film. Ah. No one saw it, though. I'll tell you what i'll let you in i'll let you into the inner circle there guy that's actually a reddit joke um because uh what's his fucking name the guy zombie land it's like his oh pretty low down in the ranks of good movies that he's done but rob zombie no no jesse eisenberg no no no no the older dude what's his name woody Harrelson.

Yeah, Woody Harrelson. Went on, well, actually, some people are convinced he didn't actually bloody touch a keyboard or see a screen involved with the AMA, but he went on to promote a film called Rampart. And traditionally with the AMA, you open yourselves up for a bit of Q&A on anything, but it was very directed to promotion of the film. And will go down in history

as one of the worst pr incidents on reddit.com the website oh wow i'm so glad you welcomed me into the inner sanctum so if anyone says the word rampart that's what that's about woody harrison's net context shit can't stick to that guy he's beloved he's beloved and for good reason there's a lot of cool shit so and a huge advocate for legalizing ganja yeah he loves ganja uh second of all uh besides celebrating with all of you thank you so much to kind eric once more for providing the fodder for the previous episode uh and tim now you were speculating quite heartily throughout uh watching in the podcast as to how exactly it happened. And then I sort of reached out to Eric to say thank you if you have, for any reason,

dropped off the wagon. The episode is up now, whereby we used your source material. And I think it turned out that a lot of your, what I thought was sort of, you know, hatchet job conspiracy theories about his techniques were on the money. Oh, that's good to hear.

Yeah. Haven't lost my touch, huh? Expertise or something yeah whatever you want to call it what does he say are you gonna read the message or is it not needed well i was just saying tim was sort of right about how i pulled it off during the sections that are all music which is where i started i put in the actual songs yes i knew that was slightly different versions so impressive to me that you picked that uh which typically had to be cut a little to match the way the songs in the movie for example the track that plays when they go to social

the first time after Squirrel's little speech is just the chorus of a full song looped a couple times. But I wound up realising that for the most part, since the movie's audio track is a 5.1 mix, most of the dialogue is restricted to one track. And except for a few scenes with someone shouting or something like Jai Head went on the mountain, you can still

hear this echo, I could just mute the dialogue track, which in the end is why it only took a few hours figuring that out really sped up the process trying to find some of the songs

that weren't on the official soundtrack did lead me to an interview with Max Joseph where he claims the Santeria bit was improvised you talked to the man himself

uh yeah I mean can you imagine kind Derek getting in touch trying to explain what the situation is? Oh, wait, wait. You mean it was a different interview,

not an interview that he started. I mean... I misread that. Yeah, you really did. It was just at the end of a long night shooting. The boys had gotten real close and just broke out into song, which I 100% call bullshit on, but that's just me.

Wait, do you reckon that Maximum Joseph is just the kind of dear deavon great dear uh he's a daring director a dear devil of a director a dear devil of a man i think do you think that he got the rights from sublime to have that song in the movie or do you think he wung it uh wung it i've never heard that i think yeah it's like hang doesn't it yeah do you do you have you wung it if you winged it? Or did you, did you winged it? You know what I'm saying? You winged it.

You wing it, and then did you? We winged it. In the past, that's that time when I winged it. If you wung it? Yeah, man, if you wung, I don't know what wunging is, but. Wung isn't a word, is it? It doesn't feel like one. Anyway, glad you boys enjoyed the bizarre thing I made for you, Ben,

it's been for ages now, so it's cool to contribute in a weird way. Eric, thank you boys enjoyed the bizarre thing I made for you Been with us for ages now So it's cool to contribute in a weird way Eric, thank you so much That was a welcome respite from the hellish Dialogue riddled colour Rendition of We Are Your Friends To which we have been previously exposed I'd also just like to postulate out loud That I believe kind Eric may be Eric Werheim

Hiding in plain sight Seems so unlikely to me That is actually I can remember all the way back to maybe the first or second screening of We Are Your Friends, you speculated wildly inaccurately that the rabbi at Squirrel's funeral was Eric Werheim. But it doesn't even look like him. Not at all. It's just a man. I don't know why I kind of got that.

He's got, if you squint, you can see it. All men look the same to you huh exactly yeah this is what a feminist looks like guy take a long look at me i am looking at you hey thanks to dollarshaveclub.com slash worst idea as well should we do the ad now yeah let's do the ad now you've started it ladies and gentlemen have a sponsor, and it won't be a pizza outlet that shall not be named. No. Fucking Blaze Pizza. No, we need not worry about that because it is instead the Dollar Shave Club.

Dollar Shave Club is your- Not assholes, confirmed. Yep. DollarShaveClub.com slash worst idea confirmed not assholes according to Tim Baird and Guy Montgomery. That's right. That is an endorsement worth its weight in fucking gold. That's why we get the big bucks. Confirmed not assholes.

Sorry, what were you going to say? Were you going to say they're a good product too? Yeah, I was going to do the actual bit. Okay, sure. I think you did. I think you've covered our... No, this is why we don't keep sponsors. It's the sort of cavalier attitude towards their outstanding products.

Dollar Shave Club deal in so much more than razors now. They have premium shaving products at a pittance of the regular cost if you head along to dollarshaveclub.com forward slash worst idea you'll get a special deal welcoming you into the dollar shave club alongside myself tim batt and our esteemed colleague noel mcdonald are you remembering this or are you reading this from somewhere that's all in my brain This is amazing Yeah Ladies and gentlemen The power of the sponsor DollarShaveClub.com

Is such That guy is Guy's winging it right now In fact What you just heard He wung that Yeah He wung it

I wung it And it felt good So please Once again A huge round of applause For our friends At Dollar Shave Club Well hold on

It sounds like you're closing off But I've got to say this bit Because it's in bold Okay Hey ladies and gentlemen This bit's not ad-libbed. You may be able to tell because I just revealed that it wasn't. You blew the lid on the other great bit I did. Here's your chance to see why over 3 million members like myself and Guy Montgomery love Dollar Shave Club.

Right now, you can get their first month of the club for as little as $5. And after that that it's just a few bucks a month dollar shave club is so confident in the quality and value of all their products there's no long-term commitment or hidden fees there's no reason not to join get yours at dollarshaveclub.com slash worst idea that's dollarshaveclub.com slash worst idea. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash worst idea. Great job, Tim. I thought you got all the words out okay, but the voice you chose was absolutely fucked.

You got an email? I got several. Here's one. See you at Comic-Con. Uh-oh. Hey, pals. You going to NYCC? I guess that's New York Comic Con.

We are, and we couldn't be more excited. We were both selling some of our top tees from... Oh, wait a minute. This is from our merchandiser, I think. Now, that's gotten into the wrong pile, hasn't it? Yeah, that is in the wrong pile. But did you see how I adopted the voice for it? So it was like a Trojan horse.

Naughty merch distributor. Dear Tim Tam and Gu Napple Lumps. Yeah, that's how it starts. Not, hello, are you going to Comic-Con? I don't know. Someone might want to know. Actually, can I tell you the subject line of this in all caps is, friend zone, settle a bet.

Is Guy taller on stage or off stage? On stage, you fucking idiot. I'm usually raised. Hey, hey. Watch your language Dear Tim Tim and Guy Napple Lumps Hi boys Hello

Hope you're keeping well Yes As the party nears its end Before I get into the real meat and potatoes of this message I may have ruined this By announcing what the subject line was I just want to share my appreciation For the three wonderful opportunities

I've had to see you boys perform live, and my girlfriend along to your show. You're welcome. My mum's review, that it was, quote, Why are you doing this to me? More smile on your face than laugh out loud funny. Why are you doing this to me? And that, quote, there were undertones of sadness, end quote, can only be described as damned with faint praise. But hey, it's showbiz, baby.

Who is this? I'll get to that. Anyway, Guy, I need you to settle something. At the start of the comedy fest, I was in Auckland, and I caught the first snort of the fest with my girlfriend. We'll press pause to explain what snort is. Snort is a weekly improvised comedy show that takes place every Friday in Auckland at the fantastic Basement Theatre, of which I am a part. For the low, low price?

How much is it? $12. Is it only $12? It's only $12. Started off as $5, I think. Yeah, for a month. It was just so sell-out popular every week. They jacked up the price.

Four years we've been going now. That is a real victory. While milling around after the show, who should I spy on but the people's champion, one Guy Montgomery? I was too shy to say hi, but my immediate impression was how incredibly tall you are. Indeed, you seem much taller than you had on stage

only moments ago. So this guy's not even saying when you're sitting on stage, you're tall in real life or you're tall outside of the stage. What are you doing to past tense verbs? Talling, talling around, you know, being tall. Okay, go ahead. I mentioned this to my girlfriend offhandedly a few weeks ago, but to my surprise, she evidenced the exact opposite position that guy montgomery is in fact much taller on stage

than off guy if you would please clear this up for me i'd be much obliged what am i uh what am i to make of this apparent discrepancy are you taller off or on the stage as you can tell i've been sitting on this question for a while but thought i'd better get my answer while the podcast oh before the podcast ends Apologies to Tim for this very guy-heavy message Warmest regards, Max Brackets a mum, Nickel Hey, Max Nickel

Max Nickel, never steel Yeah Nickel's a metal, so steel Ah, I heard steel As in S-T-E-A-L God, we can't all get on the same page today, huh? That's all right. You know what?

You did walk in. One of the first things you said as you came and sat down in your chair is you said you're feeling a little off. Maybe it was me. No, it's not you. I was thinking on the drive here. I think I'm on South Island time. Do you know, on the drive here, I was thinking, am I going to tell Tim that I'm feeling a little bit off today? Yeah, you've told everyone.

Yeah, well, I know. That's okay. And I thought, yes, because that's what friends are for moreover that's what the friend zone is for hell yeah uh and i already feel better these messages always uh pick me up it's fantastic yeah i i enjoy being in the friend zone yeah it's like our little tree house this is a hot little spot uh and to answer your question Maximum Nickel as far as I know I am the same height

in all my life I would imagine you know if you saw me at the Fringe Bar in Wellington which is where I do a lot of my comedy shows I would be taller on stage

because there's about a metre thirty raised stage there on the basement depending on the production that we are performing on the stage for

during Snort because it's where you just take whatever we are performing on the stage for during Snort, because we just take whatever we're given by the productions that go there. If there's a play on, if there's a show on during the week, they just play in whatever set is there. I would say I could be either taller or shorter. But as a general rule, I try to maintain the same height at all times. You want to know where you definitely would be shorter and look down upon? Bats Theatre in the main room. Yeah.

I think it's the Propeller Room in Wellington. It's a bit raked seating. They will look down on you. Yeah. Do you like that? No. You like to look down on them? Absolutely.

I like just a flat floor. Yeah? Yeah. I like the people at the back to really not be able to see a goddamn thing. How egalitarian of you. And your mum, entitled to her review, appreciate it. And you, certainly entitled to relay it to me. Yeah.

Look, I've got a lot of money being thrown at me. More. Or us. More smile on your face than laugh out loud with undertones of sadness. Guy. It's like a whine. It's just, there's one person's,

there's one mum's opinion. You want to get a whole room full of mums coming in giving an opinion and then get the aggregate opinion of the mums. Ah, yeah. The average mum says about Guy,

nine out of ten mums agree. Guy Montgomery, very funny. One out of ten mums is alright as well. You can talk to your opinion. Look, Kevin gave us $10.69.

Oh, you're just not even going to let me read out a letter, are you? I just want to get to this because... You're just going to butt in, are you? Well, two people sent us donations and usually if there's not a message it comes through on the Farsi. So what's the name? Well, there's one gentleman called Kevin. I ain't got shit from Kevin. What about Callie?

Because Callie gave us a sweet, sweet $50 fucking dollars. My dude. I ain't got shit from Kelly either. My dude. I ain't got nothing. Should I say her full name? Dear I. It sounds like something you'd do.

Kelly Rivers. Oh, I like that. Good name, eh? Real strong name. Fucking good. Stage name even. Dear Tim and Guy Been a fan

Since the now Distant days Of grown ups too Oh that's a decent Feels as though The party has been A constant source Of joy and laughter

In the last few years Including being introduced As the Coley Pastor And the Fuck Boys TM While driving around Iceland Becoming reacquainted With Bradshaw and the girls

During my final year of undergrad and exploring Sandler's Purgatory with you fellas during all those long commutes. You're getting a lot of shit done, aren't you? You're in Iceland for a start. Don't know if you moved there or you live there. You're studying and you're listening to two Kiwi lads right on the other side of the globe

watching some hot American dumpster fires. This guy, David, is not one to fuck around. You boys have always been a source of laughter, but more recently, an inspiration. I'm a graduate student in film and media studies in Montreal. Love it. And think the potty would be a real gangbuster to that niche academic readership.

With your permission, I'd love to write about the show, your journaling, and basically what watching the same movie 52 times did to your understanding of cinema. The podcast has been such a wonderful journey. Thank you, Tim and Guy, for your service. Say my name! Looking forward to whatever comes next from you fellas.

Take care. Big hugs, David. Well, David, I'll respond to you right now to say, of course you can, but also... What's his full name? LeBlanc. Now let me take over for a moment while you type, because I know it's very difficult.

I find it incredibly difficult impossible even uh well first off anyone who has a little question mark about whether you uh people get touched they say do you mind if i do a little bit of art or a little bit of writing a little bit of academia based on the source material that is your podcast i say uh yay verily for we have formed a podcast out of someone else's source material i love the late i mean you know they're not all hitting but the the bold choices you're making in language today is uh was that a correct application of yay verily has been noticed yeah that was absolutely a great use of yay verily that's good so what i'm trying to say is like go for gold guys don't even ask us just do it definitely better to ask permission than no wait better to ask forgiveness than permission

you are truly all over the map i'm trying though and that's the important bit a is for effort undoubtedly now he is for anyway hey kevin who i mentioned earlier who gave us 1069 USD. Oh, you found the email from Kevin? I sure did. Way to go, bud. Dear Monty Python. Oh, boy. This is going to be a long one. Dear Monty Python and Invader Tim. Hey, that's funny. Did you ever watch that, Invader Zim?

It was a Nickelodeon cartoon. I watched one episode. People fucking rave about that show, man. So there was a while when I found a big old cartoon hole, and I was like, what is it? What are everyone's favorite cartoons?

And I watched sort of, I never really went deep but I got through one episode of a lot of different cartoons and I did watch Invader Zim and I could see, see what was going on there. See what the appeal was.

I'm listening to the first We Are Your Friends commentary and it reminded me that I never gotten around to chucking you boys some coin. Hashtag pay the boys. Love that hashtag. Anyway, this is my first rewatch after a year of listening to the season

and my first thought was, quote, wait this is what the fuck boys look like? In the intervening year I had completely forgotten what everyone looked like except for Zayce, Somaly and the incomparable Paige. And recast the movie in my head based on the characters of Johnnyny depp jarhead and

squirrel as drawn by you boys and my head johnny depp looked like of course johnny depp yeah jarhead was jake gyllenhaal of course and squirrel was that guy who plays mark maron's assistant on maron and big head on silicon valley oh yeah i know who you're talking about Also I was absolutely positive That I remember James Reid from The Feelers Being played by Joshua Jackson From Fringe and The Affair Joshua Jackson Also from Dawson's Creek

Yeah I was going to say How did you Mostly Are we old? Is that what's happened to you? Yes A little bit of everything It blew my mind when I saw his face

For the first time this watch Thanks for putting your metaphorical Blood, sweat, and tears into this project for my enjoyment. You're good boys and strong boys. Stay frosty, Kevin Wrigley. Wrig? Wrigley. Sounds like Wrigle. How would you say that?

Rally. No, that. Yeah, rally. Okay, we'll go with that. Hey, God bless you, Kevin. Yeah, God fucking champ. God bless you. And you god fucking champ god bless you and uh you're absolutely right in your assertion that we made the entire series for you it literally

everyone else is there's a splash effect incidental yeah we made it for you bud someone sent us a link to an av club article called beautiful inspirational mural confuses david spade for kurt cobain uh and that's pretty funny someone's uh painted a huge mural of david spade's face with the quote uh it's better to burn out than fade away and credited to kurt cobain r.o.p i think that's just very very funny um a very funny graffiti artist who has fused three very distinct and different parts of pop culture into one. Because it's better to burn out than fade away is, of course, a Neil Young lyric.

But it was one that Kurt Cobain used in a song. I can't remember what one. I can't remember what one. Yeah. I remember it because I used to, I tried this twice on stage. It never worked. I'd walk out on stage in a Rolling Stones t-shirt and say, we got any Beatles fans in?

And then a few people might share, but mostly everyone would just be silent because I was sucking. And then I'd say, yeah, you said it, baby. It's better to burn out than to fade away. And then I'd just launch it to my set having alienated 70% of the audience. So we had to. You would think that with those broad strokes of references that you were painting with your big comedy paintbrush

you had to get a bigger laugh. You know, those are some big hitters. Stones, Beatles, Young. Dumb and self-serving. So thank you very much to Susan for alerting us to that. Who sent the link simply with the sentiment, live every moment. Love every day.

Was there a second bit to it? Yeah. I'm on tender hooks. I said tender hooks. Tender. Wait, what is it? Tenter. Is it?

What? I think it's tender. I always thought it was tender because it was like a meat. I thought it was a meat. I thought that too. I thought they were meat hooks. Oh boy. I always thought it was chomping at the bit.

What is it? Champing. Yeah. Yeah, I always thought chomping as well. Do you know what it is, Guy? It's because you read. You're a reader. You consume books.

I don't. So often, people like me will get things wrong because we're just hearing people say it. So we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I'm familiar with that saying. I've heard it many times. We're just hearing it, you know? Osmosis is different. But if you read it it it's like i can

identify what that word is because it's written down you might be right i precise the frustrating element of it is i have no retention for the details of what you know like it's just it's all just garbage information floating in the big garbage disposal unit that is my mind is that none of it is like apart from literally these conversations i have no application for any of this it is tenderhook. I just researched it. Tenter hook is a hook used to fasten cloth on a drying frame or tenter. What is a tenter, you say? A framework on which fabric can be held taut for drying.

The more you know. Dearest Timboy and Guyboy, due to a pretty bitchin' Labor Day deal Stitcher Premium was having I purchased a few months subscription have been ripping and tearing through your first season again and I have thoughts I have come to the conclusion that grown-ups 2 is in some way a perfect film for the worst idea format not just because it's a bad film but rather it's so broad and so dense in its badness. Grown Ups 2 abandons any familiar concepts such as the three-act storytelling structure,

character arcs, or basic conflict that the modern moviegoer has come to expect and therefore might latch onto. There is literally nothing left except for a manic assemblage of physical gags, Yeah, assemblage. Yeah. That's good. That's good. That's good. Physical gags, stunt casting, and machismo values.

What does machismo mean? Macho. It's the same. Oh, is it? Yeah, so it's like just sort of meathead values. Ah, far out. Machismo values. Stapled together with cleavage and burp snarts and bankroll by product placement.

What? This man is a poet. Yeah. From your description, it seems to be wide as an ocean yet deep as a puddle. What a sentence. A veritable where's Waldo of nonsense for boys to dig through. So long as they are brave and strong enough. I know the podcast is ending soon, so the exercise is moot,

but I could not help but try and think of another film that would be a good fit. After much soul-searching, I think I have it. Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace. I actually think that The Phantom Menace is a unique phenomenon in Hollywood. A massive high-budget and high- high visibility blockbuster made without any executive meddling whatsoever. It's also ludicrously self-indulgent, clumsily written, and often obnoxious. George Lucas was notoriously hands-off as a director, leaving most choices to the discretion of the actors, two of whom were children. And yet, from a visual production

standpoint, it is honestly gorgeous. There are several sequences that are incredibly fun. And in classic Star Wars fashion, it's jam-packed with tiny details and background characters that would benefit from repeat viewing. Anyway, I don't know what I'm trying to do with this now that I've had this thought. So, I figured I would throw it into the ether.

Perhaps some poor fools, preferably fools who have never seen a Star Wars film before, will follow in your footsteps to explore the worst idea of a long time ago in a galaxy far away. I like that. Kisses and wishes, Christopher Alan Metzger. Thank you so much, Christopher Alan Metzger. You know, not going to happen. Someone might.

Are you a Star Wars fan? No I've only seen the new Star Wars I don't even remember what I've seen I feel like I've seen The original trio when I was a kid But I don't I have no Star Wars knowledge Yeah I've got very little I like it

I like it in May When it's the 4th of May. Why is that? Big day for Star Wars fans. Why is that? They go, may the 4th be with you. But in New Zealand, of course, it's always the 5th, and we go, ah, foiled again by the international date line.

Whenever someone goes, may the 4th be with you, I go, do you mean may the 4th be with you? And they go, no, I mean may the 4th be with you. And I go, you're saying it wrong. Have you got a l got a lisp and they go no i don't have a lisp well you obviously don't have a lisp you said the word lisp perfectly so why are you saying may the fourth be with you and i go it's the fucking date and i go i know you big nerd i wanted you to say it yeah any sure show those guys yeah yeah I show anyone who likes anything. I've got a screenshot here from a Reddit post.

Reddit getting a lot of play in the friend zone today. The top comment says, mostly curious about which actors will fill out the adult cast. I don't know what it is in reference to. Should I see if the message references what it's to? Hey lads, just saw this and thought of Timberley Wimble and flash what are your thoughts would love it for season six i don't have context as to what this what's going on here as to what the they've cast a film but i don't know what they're referencing ben kevin james stanley adam sandler richie rob schneider eddie chris katan bill david spade Eddie Chris Catan Bill David Spade Bev Kathy Griffin

Grownups3 Now it's personal Edit I forgot Chris Rocker's mic Thank you Friggs underscore chicken Underscore Shaq Et al

Also Thanks Obligatory Thanks for the gold Um I don't know There's not enough exposition In the photo

Check us the URL Rather than a screenshot Maybe eh I'll read the Read the message all the same Hey lads Just saw this and thought of Timbly Wimbly and Flash

What are your thoughts Would love it for season 6 Well look I don't know I mean After Con Air gets Back to back seasons Very good Watched it last weekend

And hated it Recorded it was an early draft For the pod and approved P.S. You goons Read my PayPal message Months after it was sent when you were looking for another Connor sent, but it still warmed my heart.

Oh my God. Good luck with the rest of the season. I'm a bit behind, so don't know whether 60 Eps is actually a plan. Cheers. We are fucking terrible, aren't we? We're all right. Thanks, Connor. Oh boy.

Hey, I tell you what warmed the absolute cockles of my heart while we're talking about Reddit. And cockles of hearts. Yes, that too. So, look, we're probably about to read some messages of support on this. Sorry, we led with it actually. The sex in the city 3 being canned. But it went on Reddit. Someone put up the CNN post and it shot to the top of the front page 33.9 000 upvotes which uh is anyone who frequents

that website will know it's quite a lot and one of the top um uh comments on there was uh it's all up to grown-ups three now and i tell you what i i didn't think very many people gave a shit anymore but it just it goes to show and it kicked off a conversation About worst idea And it was great to see that People are still out there listening And they know They know They know who we are Hey I'm

That's gonna last only until The second week after we end And then Incorrect It's all gone I'm gonna become a big star Kai Richens sends us Guess how much

A Michael Patrick King? No dude 40 bucks For that heaps 40 bucks Are you shitting me dude I ain't shitting you dude Fucking hell Kai Hello boys I've just finished watching all three movies

For a total of 52 times Oh my god Hold on While sleeping to the glorious Sex and the City 2 Wait what The last week and change have been hellish Hold on. While sleeping to the glorious sex in the city too. Wait, what? The last week and change have been hellish,

mostly for the slag I get thrown at me from my friends and family. He's gotten cabs. My... My... My... Guy, you're good, dude. My parents... And then the message stopped. good dude my parents what's this guy's name Kai Richens I have not got him in here

okay let's go through this from the top because there's not that much for a word count. Hello, boys. I have just finished watching all three movies a total of 52 times. That's open to interpretation. I don't know if that's each of them 52 times or all of them say 15. Yeah, what is it? 18 or something. Yeah, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that it's the lesser of those two options. Give him the benefit of the doubt that it's the lesser of those two options.

I have just finished watching all three movies a total of 52 times, comma, while sleeping to the glorious Sex and the City 2. Stop. The next week and change have been hellish, comma, mostly for the slag I get thrown at me from my friends and family. Did he say the next week in change? The last week in change. Oh, the last week in change have been hellish. Yeah.

It sounds like this guy has... My parents... In. Genuinely front to back. Yeah. Look, man. I want to give you $40, Kai. We don't quite have enough.

Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. There's more. Oh, yes. I want to give you $40, Kai. We don't quite have enough. Hold on, hold on, hold on. There's more. Oh, yes. Jesus. He's written it like... It's structured like a poem. Oh. What the fuck?

Okay. My parents is... I'm going to try and read this as true to form as I can. So know that when I take a little breather... I'm not going to railroad you. No, no, no. You can, but just know that it's a new line. Yeah.

Structured like poetry. So the first line is, My parents S, all in caps, okay? My parents S, they call or whatever. There was more. I forgot the rest of the message. All that matters is I love you. All that matters is I care.

All that matters is I won't move on now that you aren't there all that matters is t-w-o-i-o-a-t all that matters is the podcast to me all that matters is staying subscribed but now you are but you are now gone all that matters is friendship all that matters is friendship all that matters is smiles all that matters is tim and guy races by something something sundial seven bottles of champagne a baggie of shaggy wacky tobacco some boys to guide and a dream to ride. I already miss you. I'll never forget you. I'll always yearn for a live show. Please come to Victoria, Vancouver, Seattle.

I need you. I want you. A kiss. A kiss. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss Thank you so much Kai The only note I had Was I was really yearning For a I need you I want you

I was hoping For an oh baby Oh baby I don't even know What that's from But Felt like a great opportunity That was beautiful

That was like a slam poem It was eh And great reading Tim Thank you I feel like I didn't Quite do it justice But it was so good No you did good

I got A great message here hit it starts like this g'day guy g'day guy g'day guy hope this finds you and tim well as you can tell i'm redressing the bounds of messages addressed only to tim oh i get it but the truth is i respect both you boys equally for what you've done i saw your shows in melbourne actually and you both made me laugh the exact same number of times which is a remarkable coincidence i donated quite some Oh no. Yeah, it is. Hey. of shitness. Yeah, it is. I've noticed a number of recent friends and messengers have been suggesting new projects for you after season three.

You've been very polite to not point out that most of the ideas are shithouse. Hey. So I have a shit idea of my own. Why not watch

the music videos from early 90s hip hop songs and review those? MC Hammer one week, Young MC the next. You get the idea. Thanks for all you've done over these recent years.

If you say my name on the friend zone, I'll even give you another donation to match the last one. Cheers. Dave Martin. Dave Martin.

Pop-pop video. With Tim and Guy. Can you imagine us watching Criss Cross with their crazy backwards clothing? Give them fashion critique on those young lads? I don't remember Criss Cross, but I have not quite finished it. Oh.

Dave Martin. Say it!. Oh. Dave Martin, say it! In Melbourne. Thank you, Dave. Look, I would not dismiss any idea for a podcaster's shithouse, but I would say this.

The likelihood of us recording your concept is very slim. It's a whole rights thing, isn't it? Is it? Who puts themselves in charge of all that nonsense, you know? It's a whole rights thing, isn't it? Is it? Who puts themselves in charge of all that nonsense, you know? It's a commitment thing.

Why would you do it? Good on you, Dave. We've given so much of our time to this thing. It's crazy to me. It doesn't bear thinking about. So I won't. I won't engage with that. And in fact, I'm going to lob it off.

Did you want to close with a message there's a few others but I think I might just I got some goodies I'd just like to say thank you to Harry just another person

Harry Patera reaching out to us with a message of goodwill and good news oh wow what's happening here You might have got this one on email already Who's it from

A guy called Colin He said I sent this via email to Tim Is that what you were going to read Well I wasn't going to read anything Oh you weren't No I feel like I'm done Actually Feeling quite finished

I'm going to do it Alright Guy Hello Shibme Timbers and Guy Montegomery. Wait a minute. Have you got the exact message? Should we read it together? Okay. Where are we going to start from?

From hello. Hello, Shibami Timbers and Guy Montegomery. Come on, read it as it's written. Sorry, I'm bad at that. A real piece of shit. I hope you good boys, real true boys, are doing well. I wanted to drop you a note and let you know that I am getting sentimental with all your reflections on recent episodes.

Having discovered Mimimim and the boys at the same time, I was beyond delighted about the collaboration between two good groups of boys after having to listen to you independently for a while imagine my sadness when i realized that the good boys great and fantastic boys were on the timer then i realized something with guy guy moving to new york and why not have timbo move somewhere still a fair ways away oh let me boost the text size up oh why not

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with with with with with away but with legalized Zeiss front lettuce that place Denver Colorado please consider this offer as I would allow you and your fiance to stay at my house for approximately two weeks rent here is very high but the comedy scene is great guy guy can even hop on a plane and be here in several hours I'm a Broncos fan to give it some thought. That said,

I have been paying the boys since the start of the campaign and will try to throw some more American cash money at you before the 60 weeks are up. Your podcast has greatly improved my life and I appreciate all the sacrifice you have made for our enjoyment.

Feel free to say my name. Thanks, Colin. That would have been a real fucking weird thing to listen to I didn't even like listening to it And I was one half of it You know It's unpleasant It's demonic

Also shout out to Luke and Tani For telling us how great it is That we are free from prison How sweet it is To be loved by you. I'm out of key and I forgot the tune. Yeah.

I needed the shave. Oh no. Oh, what's happening? The wheels are off. All right, everyone. Thanks for tuning in and thanks again to dollarshaveclub.com

slash worst idea for bringing you this episode of the friend zone. Guy, truly, the treehouse has treated us oh so well this week and it's been lovely to be in your presence basking in the reflective glory of our fan mail with you trick the word i was thinking of on that last episode was trick fuck well it's the friendzone with tim and guy Come to the friend zone and have a good time. Yes, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy.

Because making friends is the best idea of all time.