The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Fifty Four

Episode Date: August 28, 2017

Grab your Highlander-style Claymore and get a Stitcher Premium free trial cause it's time to jump into the Friendzone! Set theory jokes are completely beyond your boiz but it doesn't mean they can't enjoy other people's enjoyment of it. You'll never guess which Sex and The City gal is running for Governor of New York (or maybe you will, there's only four gals). Plus where are the other season's theme songs? Somewhere. Hopefully.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing.

Well, it's the friend zone. With Tim and Guy, come to the friend zone. And have a good time, yes and welcome to the friend zone, everybody. That's right. It's the time for you to put down whatever ails you and pick up a nice, cool, warm mug of friendship. Now, lend me a point of clarification, Your Honour. Yes.

If it's something that ails you, is that something that is bad for you or something that is fixing that which is bad for you? Like, is it the medicine or the illness? What ails you, it's A-I-L-S. So that's like, what burdens you? What is your problem? So put down what ails you. It's like, whatever is causing you an issue,

just put that to the side for now. And a warm mug of friendship, that's a good thing. Who's holding on to their poison, though, you know? Well, it's not poison. Like, it could be a big assignment that's sort of hanging over you. Oh, I see, I see, I see. So, something you're going to have to deal with at some point. Well, I mean, you're not doing a very good job.

Yeah, yeah, yes, that's exactly it. But the idea is not to think about it in those terms. It's just like, yeah, just get this out of the way, unless you work while listening to us talk, in which case, have at it. Really give them hell for. Well, we're all here on the zone, and that's the important bit, isn't it? Yeah, are you in the zone right now? I am in the zone, my friend.

Yeah, that's good. Are you in the zone? Yeah, I'm absolutely in the zone my friend yeah are you in the zone yeah i'm absolutely in the zone we've been listening to uh enigmas return to or of innocence it's the song that goes i think i think i think they know no but then i was listening to that, what's that song called? Oh, fuck. I don't know what it's called, but it's the theme song from Robot Unicorn Attack. Always by something.

Anyway, not what we're here to do. Although maybe it could be from here on in. Maybe we just listen to vaguely exotica dance tracks from the early 2000s. And recreate them for you. It's always been the end game we want to start an acapella electro

sort of covers band hey guy the last thing that everyone would have heard is the fourth director's commentary on this

the stream of ours wow isn't it isn't it nice to be sort of back in control yeah a little bit man we actually are not

quite sure what's on that no i won't be able to listen to that for many years but we did get a lot of people saying they really enjoyed it so i guess it is rare to access to have access to audio people genuinely at the very end of their emotional and physical tether yeah so in that instance i can understand why people might have found it interesting in some ways i thought it was a very stupid idea But in other ways it was the perfect Boil down of what this whole project is Down into one episode A beautiful microcosm for where we are at

Yeah exactly Giving it to the people And to our Patreon listeners I've been bleeding out the video That goes with the audio I don't know why you would want to But you can see us going through the pain anyone who's given us more than five bucks

has got access to that beautiful content yeah oh it's content isn't it and while we're here we also have put up the toys toys episode the toys

the 1992 film yeah that was crazy with Robin Williams and Joan Cusack unflappable Robin Williams there's some ads for that movie that are funny ass it's. Robin Williams. And Joan Cusack. Unflappable Robin Williams. There's some ads for that movie that are funny ass. It's just Robin Williams kind of sending up the whole concept of doing a trailer for a movie in a field. Did you watch any of those?

Any of the ads? Yeah. No. They're on YouTube. Hey, we've got some letters that we'd love to share with you guys. Pinned by you, no less. Yeah. Some of you.

Not all of you. go ahead it'd be pretty it'd be pretty wild if everyone was sending us letters here's a a message which looks really well formatted yeah it's a good size it's like pretty long but not too long easy on the eyes. It's from Cam. And it looks like his picture on Gmail is a bit of artwork from like Danger Doom or something. You know, it's in that style of cartoony. That's great. Dear Timotheus of Canstone to Noville. Hey, look. I want to see the subject at the top.

You should read the subject line out. Pressing information on what's in james reed's box and the origin of the man himself hello timotheus of coast antinople and guide uh what is that how do you say that lucinian lucinian what is that ah i got no idea there's a g in there i hope my message reaches you in a timely fashion and finds you in both good health it finds you both in good health uh near the beginning of the series he postulated what james reed hidden uh had hidden in the laptop box was a collapsible sword that was one of you that was definitely one of yours i remember that at first i laughed this off but

then the clues began to fall into place after months months of research i finally have an answer the only other time a collapsible sword has ever been put in a box was in the 1986 british american doco drama highlander describing highlander as a docudrama that's good uh where the villainous kirgan keeps his claymore in several pieces in a briefcase upon further research into james reed's name i can firmly conclude that james reed is in fact an immortal uh forever battling the immortals for quote the This is good. This is very good. For example, and I think he's even included links here to maybe Wikipedia pages.

James Reid, soldier, 1724 to 1807, American military officer in the French and Indian War and American Revolution. Then we have James F. Reid, 1800 to 1874, a member of the Donner Party. James A. Reid, a United States senator from Missouri from 1911 to 1929. senator from missouri from 1911 to 1929 then we have james hay read uh who from 1853 to 1927 lived as a u.s federal so these all sort of overlapping so that he could remain alive up until this point it was like a like a handoff there was like a credible a baton being passed james sewell read organizer of the calian Union Army Volunteers in the American Civil War Who lived from 1832 to 1864

And many more We can gather from these clues that James Has detected that Zicoli is also an Immortal and is preparing to train him in the ways Of combat. This would explain Why he is so angered by Zicoli falling In love with Somaly as immortals are discouraged From taking mortal lovers

And why James bangs around so much Mortals mean nothing to him after centuries of life this also explains why zuccoli is able to ingest an incredible amount of drugs and still live yours sincerely dr cameron uh sizzlack doctor of history p.s feel free to read my name and position of the title of Doctor. Very good send-off, Cam. That is compelling listening. I absolutely buy into that mythos. It makes a lot of sense, I think, also for the, I guess, the badness of James Reid from the feelers in the film and Zicovle's behaviour.

Just in that they do treat mortals with disregard. That's why Squirrel is just like barely a blip on his radar. And the most likely explanation for that is not that he has some sort of personality defect, but an actual fact that he is a mortal who is fighting. That is more likely in the sense that it is more likely to make watching the movie more enjoyable there can be only one i was trying to remember what the highlander line was i think that's it there can be only one that's why they keep fighting

apparently the sequel is very very bad but the first one's quite enjoyable i would say neither of them i got one here i'd love to hear it guy hey my go and bim tats. Just messaging to say that I'm halfway through season three, having only listened to season two, because I had no idea Hal had it until that one friend zone where you regretfully mentioned that fact to everyone who already committed to season three. However, I will listen as soon as possible, and I'm racing to catch up in time for it to be over forever.

Hooray! The main point of my message is to say the icelandic festival you mentioned being invited to is very real and very much in gimli manitoba do you remember this yeah someone who the fuck was i can't remember who played the goof was it dom someone someone was pulling out yeah yeah but this is a real festival in the province of canada in which the writer lives if you would ever come come to Canada and participate in this Viking majesty, I would be more than happy to host you legends and come to the show of comedy goodness or whatever it ends up being. Marco Chenier from Canada.

P.S. I'll be sending a donation your way at some point as I have a real job now. P.P.S. You boys are the best potty in the biz thank you so much marco and i'll tell you if i ever do wind up in gimley manitoba you will be the first to hear about it what a ledge what a hospitable ledge hey just on that howl uh stuff been hearing a lot of good things about that howl premium service no shit they they joined forces with stitcher and it's like got an incredible bank of content on there including season one of the worst idea of all time um and uh yeah it's just it's it's apparently it's fucking awesome that's outstanding news and actually if you go to stitcher premium.com slash worst we We've got a code. I didn't know that. That's so cool.

Yeah, Stitcher Premium. It's the new subscription service inside of Stitcher that brings all your favorite free and premium podcasts together under one roof. I tell you what, guys, that is actually awesome. Because, say like with Seeso, for example, which RIP, I hear, is going under. You've got to have your Seeso and your YouTube and your Netflix or whatever.

It's all separate. But with Stitcher Premium, you get all of the normal free podcasts and then all of the awesome behind-the-paywall podcasts in the one app. So once again... It's like a wallet with all of your cards. All of them in there. Or even better, it's like when you put your cards into your phone, you know, like Apple Pay. Yeah, yeah. It's like a wallet with all of your cards. All of them in there. Or even better, it's like when you put your cards into your phone. You know, like Apple Pay.

Yeah, yeah. It's like your phone. Stitcher Premium. It's like your phone. StitcherPremium.com slash worst is the URL. I'm just going to check it works, actually. Let me click the link. God, I hope it does.

Oh, yeah, that looks like it works. Oh, that takes you to our first uh season and you can start a free trial if you're a maniac i invite you to listen to the whole um first season during the free trial which is probably two weeks if you haven't listened to it i reckon that'd be a pretty fun little shotgun just go fucking hog wild for two weeks yeah man yeah hard out especially like to say goodbye you know we could do that well i've suggested it a couple of times and you have always you've persistently been like i'm definitely not doing that no way dear tim bott and guy forks and i'd like to add that the subject line for this is

friend zone which i really like just listen to all of season two and three over about two weeks and recommend the podcast to several friends. First of all, Simon, fucking hell yes. You're doing it right. We love that. Figured I'd message you about a couple of things that have come up in recent friend zones. First off, you can call a guy with brown hair a brunette, which, because it's a French word, means exactly the same thing.

It is pronounced the same way but is spelled differently when applied to a guy uh you guys got it right in friend zone 52 meals ready to eat are the basic field rations of the u.s army whole meals packaged in such a way uh is to not is is to not taste terrible even after two and a half years on a shelf, in theory at least. Finally, here is a video I think you guys should see. It's the Chainsmokers parody, but I think its relevance to season two is obvious from the title. Kia kaha for the homestretch, you brave boys.

Lots of love from Wellington. You acting kind of shady. Simon Voicy. Is that how you would pronounce that? Voicy? Yeah. I want would pronounce that? Voicy? Yeah. I want to see what this parody is. The Chainsmokers, I only cheat on you in Dubai.

Very good. The Chainsmokers must be one of the most parodied musical acts of a generation. Yeah. I still don't know enough about them to engage in the making fun of them. Neither do I. They're huge. They're so popular.

Well, I understand a friend, Joseph Moore, from the Walkout Boys, for a while he called himself the chain smokers of New Zealand comedy, which I think was to suggest because they're not liked, I don't think, the chain smokers. Well, it depends what's it. I think they're victims of their own success, right? They're one of those musical acts. They got too popular too quick.

Exactly. Also, Tom, I just want to quickly say this. This isn't a a letter but this is a great public service done by listener cody mims i'm going to share on the worst idea page but he's uh after we've after that fourth director's commentary went up yeah all on one website yeah uh cody has got synced versions so he's got grown ups too with the country all synced up oh Ooh, this feels legally dubious. Ah, look. It exists. It exists. I'm not encouraging you to visit the website.

No, we're just saying it exists at the following web address. So there'll be a post saying this exists. And then, you know, you can click on it or not. It's your call. But that's pretty cool. I think. Thank you, Cody. Wait, what's the address?

I'm going to post it. I'm not going to read it. Why? Mediafire.com. Oh, it's one of them long ones. I see. I think. Thank you, Cody. Wait, what's the address? I'm going to post it. I'm not going to read it. Why? Mediafire.com. Oh, it's one of them long ones. I see. I see. Where are you going to post it?

On the Facebook? Yeah. Good on you. I'll tell you what. I'll redirect blazepizza.co.nz to go there, eh? That is a fun idea. Can you check that address somewhere for us later? Because we always forget to do these things.

Not always. Sometimes. You got an email? Send it to me in a message. Yeah, I'm sure it's in there. No, no. for us later because we always forget to do these things. Not always. Sometimes. You got an email? Send it to me in a message. Yeah, I'm sure it's in there. No, no, no. Not from me. Have you got an email to read?

Oh, I'm sorry. Dear Tim Batt and Guy Montgomery. Whoa. Okay, Alex. Bit formal, but let's see where this goes. Do I know you, dude? Or lady?

Long time listener. First time caller. Started listening to your podcast after hearing a vague description from Nick Manson of the Weekly Planner and quickly fell in love with the podcast. Bloody love the podcast, bringing us peeps. Love that. Listening throughout the latter years of my college career has been great. And when I was repeating my final year, it was a big help for keeping morale up.

Oh, that's great to hear, Alex. I'm in the last week of my finals exams at college, and I cannot wait for these five long years to be over. It's not the same as watching the same movie for 60 weeks in a row, but it feels as rough. And as I get closer and closer to the end, I'm glad it's coinciding with you two fine boys getting to the end of your awful trek.

Know that when I'm out of this era of my life, I'll be listening to you guys in your post-worst idea era, whatever that entails. I love hearing that because you are bound by word to listen to whatever horse shit we come up with, either together or individually. Come on, man. Don't play it like that. Thanks for all the love.

No, look, some of it's going to be great, but you, in writing this, are now bound. Thanks for all the love. A person look, some of it's going to be great, but you, in writing this, are now bound. Thanks for all the love. A person is only as good as their word, Alex. As soon as I can, you bet your ass I'm going to support the troops. Don't mind if you don't read this out, but if you do, I'd like to let that guy with the set theory joke about... Sorry.

I'd like to let that guy with the set theory joke know that by god I laughed at that set theory joke someone another listener there's a level of intelligent conversation and humour underscoring the friendzone that we

can't even understand we read them out and we're like that sounds fine and then other people are like what a great reference we are but vessels this is a short one there was best regards from alex from dublin and can i say that alex i just want to make a quick comment on this email if i may guy i think it would be wonderful that for those who have really been involved in the podcast have been listening along for a long time treat the end of this podcast like moving to a different city. This is the start of a whole new era for all of us. Reinvent yourself.

Take this as an opportunity to become the person you want to be. You might have had something in your way before you might have been feeling a little bit scared, or maybe you just needed some sort of an opportunity, a trigger point to make some decisions about yourself. Let the end of our show, a trigger point to make some decisions about yourself. Let the end of our show be that trigger. Change is as good as a holiday. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Think globally. Also act globally. Be global. Yeah. So this is a short one. It comes from James and it's a link to an article, the title of which is, Sex in the City, Cynthia Nixon Tipped for New York Governor.

Cynthia Nixon, the Sex in the City 2 star, is being tipped as a possible candidate for governor, and then you have to open the article to read more. Are you fucking serious? Deadly, dude. But the caption or the comment from James is, I think the Teleggraph has got this wrong. Isn't it Miranda's husband who's running for mayor of New York City?

Holy shit. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder

to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. Thank you, James. A gubernatorial run for Cynthia Nixon, eh? Who would have thought? Who would have seen that coming? I guess they could probably do worse. So I've got another message here From Nicola

Who writes Hey guys Could I please get a quick message on the friendzone If possible No I'm just kidding I'm so sorry Nicola I have to take Tim's first answer

I can't read out this message Which is a shame because I am reading it ahead now It's so lovely and kind Oh wow that's a real shame. Wow, Nicola. I guess all I can say is burn in hell. No, I'm just kidding. Here you go.

My twin sister Hayley and I have been huge fans from day one. Been to your live records and your individual comedy shows and fucking loved it. Just want to say thanks so much and love your work. I know Hayley will be listening to your comforting Kiwi accents as she jets across the world to Ireland this year. Cheers, Nicola. She should hook up with Alex from Dublin. Yeah, you guys would get along great. So thank you so much, Hayley and Nicola.

That is wonderful. And while we're here, Tim, there's also, I'm going to have to scroll back a little bit. Hey, can I tell you something? Yeah, of course. Juliana Chang. Oh, shit. I don't know if I'm going to have to scroll back a little bit. Hey, can I tell you something? Yeah, of course. Juliana Chang. Oh, shit. I don't know if I was supposed to use her full name.

Too late. She's thrown us a tremendous triple digit donation. Hundo Baccaronis, my friend. A fucking Benjamin Franklin. If the rap songs I listen to are to be believed. That's great news. Well, thank you. Obviously, a huge thank you to-

Ms. Chang. Allow me. Oh, God. She's put a different name. Oh, that's great news. Well, thank you. Obviously a huge thank you to- Ms. Chang, allow me- Oh, God. She's put a different- Oh, man. I've really fiffed it now. No, you can do some editing. Well, why start now, though? Dear Timbo and Monty, I'm not fully caught up.

I only just watched the director's commentary one. Oh, you're pretty much caught up. This was sent bloody 12 days ago. But I see that you have your final show scheduled for August 18th, and I wanted to chuck you some money before the grand finale. Just donated today, August 13th. Guy, you have a comment? Yeah, point of clarification.

That was the last show we were doing, I believe, in Wellington. There are still a handful more episodes to go of the podcast. I believe seven more watches are owing. I learned about your podcast a year ago when someone mentioned in a Facebook thread that you had watched and then talked about Sex and the City 2 52 times. I was intrigued and gave your potty a listen. It was not at all what I expected. I was a fan of the TV show Sex and the City and I naively assumed you would be fans as well since you're committed to watching it so many times. That would make more sense, wouldn't it?

My son was born just before Sex and the City 2 came out so i never saw it i had heard it was vacuous but i didn't realize how much until i heard your tales of despair after each watch though it was different from what i expected i soon became charmed by your silly banter which reminded me of the hours spent hanging out with my friends when i was in college instead of studying as a middle-aged woman of color i could really appreciate i really i also really appreciated your resolute resistance to making misogynist comments about the film which even as a feminist i could see would be easy to do after being tortured by 52 watches of the film your awareness of the film's cultural uh imperialism and your ability to express love for each other without uh homophobic anxiety you boys give me hope in

the younger generation. I wasn't planning to listen to season 3 since I had absolutely no interest in We Are Your Friends. But I gave it a try and again was quickly hooked. I didn't think it could top the hilarity of the Landsharks episode. You could top the hilarity of the Landsharks

episode but I found myself laughing throughout the director's commentary one. Thank you for the many many hours of entertainment and company. I always looked forward to putting my son to sleep because I will put on your podcast after I say goodnight. For your sake, I am glad that you'll be moving on to hopefully less insane adventures and I look forward to seeing what you do next. Your fan, you can say my name, Leanna.

Oh, man. That is the loveliest message I ever did hear. I feel warm. Thank you so much, Leanna. I feel like I could take a few knocks in the day now. Yeah, well, hopefully not. Hopefully I won't have to. But you could.

But I could. I understand. Thank you very much. Such is the armour you've provided us with, Leanna. Leanna, very happy to hear your tale of absolute unbridled joy. And I hope your child's good. Yeah, obviously. We wish you and your family only the best.

Only yours, though. Hey, boys. Love your stuff. Messaging to say I've always liked the various intro songs you've used over the years. And I think it would be awesome to end your glorious run by giving them all another go during the last few episodes. Cheers, Colin. Hey. I don't know, because you edit the podcast, how easy that is, but that sounds like fun.

I'm pretty sure I've still got them all I would think they'd all be there yeah god I'd be pretty upset if I've lost them to be honest

now that I think about it well thank you very much Colin yeah that's great I'm going to send you this email guy because it's long and I feel like I'm just doing a bunch

of long correspondence you're just doing these quick little notes is that cool yeah you whack open your Gmail and give us a bloody read of this one

I've got okay i've got i've got one big juicy one after that as well in the old facebook here i don't know if that got picked up the fact that your laptop says you've got mail just i mean i thought you were taking it off as well so every time i hear it now i get reminded and surprised and simultaneously shocked and bemused by it. Yeah, it's pretty good, huh? Well, it's something. Subject, James Reid's future.

Dearest Spinothy, Timothy Wimothy, and Guy. Burn, motherfucker. That's a burn for you. That's I command respect, and you are there to be trifled with. Oh, that's so good. I've been listening to your podcast for just over a year now, and your suffering has accompanied me through this lonely, lonely year, elevating my own experience as I lived vicariously through you,

absorbing your poetic and absurd pain through my eardrums into my unworthy brain. In all seriousness, thank you for making my days a little bit brighter, you magnificent fuckboys. This brings me to the actual reason I'm writing to you, a pitch for a cinematic universe. I love this Recently I was stuck in a hotel room with nothing to do as the rain poured outside And my brother had the brilliant idea to rent a movie

To rent a movie? This is me, not the letter Yeah From the internet do you think or from a video store? Bro, I'm guessing the internet We tried to 2017 We tried to rent a movie from the video store recently

We tried to get toys from the video store, and the video store did not have it. I currently live quite close to what must be one of the sole remaining video stores in New Zealand. You've just got to hang on until you become the novelty video store. They are there. They've got that.

They've done it. And the only reason they're still afloat is because they sell a ton of merch. For their store? No, that would be even better. That's the next phase. Yeah, exactly. What do they sell merch for?

The movies. Yeah, so like Star Wars wallets and backpacks and they've got like Superman and Batman stuff and, you know, Marvel. I see. They're changing over into a regular store. They are. Anyway, so my brother had the brilliant idea to rent a movie. over into a regular store yeah anyway uh so my brother had the brilliant idea to rent a movie he unapologetically he unapologetic film aficionado that he is picked the 2011 cinematic masterpiece the green hornet oh boy i've heard about this one seth rogan and christoph waltz

imagine my surprise when only five minutes in the father of seth rogan's character brit reed appeared on screen and who would it be but one James Reid? Huh. Now, of course, the obvious question is that We Are Your Friends was released in 2015, four years after this

superhero extravaganza first graced our screens. How could this be the same James Reid, considering that he's played by the middle-aged actor Tom Wilkinson? Well, clearly,

this is all part of a post-war take on the superhero cinematic universe. Told through an anachronistic narrative, we follow the stories of various heroes, such as the Green Hornet and Zicoli the Crying DJ, as they battle various enemies. Oh, man. Can I just say I'm lost? A little bit?

Yeah. Should we try and unpack it, or should I just charge your head? Charge your head. You'll catch up. I think so. I agree. I am trying.

Follow the stories of various heroes, such as the Green Hornet and the Crying DJs. They battle various enemies, e.g. Christoph Waltz or the inability to stop sobbing. That's a good enemy. Yeah. That's a tough one. The connective tissue between these tall tales is you guessed it James Reid

the man went from playing in the semi-successful New Zealand band The Feelers to being a slightly less successful alcoholic DJ

to finally being the father of an alcoholic Seth Rogen running a successful LA newspaper living in the San Fernando Valley

coincidence I think not and tragically dying from a hornet sting in his very own rose garden. He is a true tragic hero, a misunderstood genius, and god damn if he doesn't deserve his own movie. Where's the biopic, I ask you? Where is Eddie Redmayne?

Where is the Academy Award nominations? This could, should, nay, will be the first superhero movie to win the Oscar for Best Picture. And I'd be honoured if you would collaborate with me, Maximum Joseph, and Megan Oppenheimer, as well as Patrick and Michael King, reunited once again on this, our magnum opus. No Sandler on this one, huh?

Rough. Contact me ASAP. The offer expires within the next few hours, which is when I will hopefully regain my sanity. When was the cent? Anyway, that's for now. That's that for now. Thanks again for being the wonderful messes you are. Live every moment, love every day,

and all the best in your future endeavors. Say my name. Best wishes, Viola. Scent. Tim, we've missed this opportunity by two weeks. Hey, Viola, is the reason why it was a two-hour window to take this offer because you were on substances at the time?

You've come out of the haze? Because I tell you what, you were throwing a lot of ideas out there, and some of them I really loved. And I also didn't realize that Christoph Waltz was in The Green Hornet. Yeah, but apparently he phones it in. I thought about watching that movie recently. Fuck off. I won't accept that.

Christoph Waltz doesn't phone any performances in. Everyone phones something in. Nah, not Christ any performers in. Everyone phones something in. Nah, not Christoph Waltz. Everyone phones something in. Do you know, I watch quite a lot of interviews of talk shows, just because I think they're lovely to have on in the background sort of thing, when I'm working away on a little bit of paperwork or whatever. Christoph Waltz recently went on Colbert,

and a lot of people didn't like the chat, because it's just so low level. Like, they're just two dudes just having a very, there's no big laughs. There's no huge stories, no big gags, no massive anecdotes. Two guys having regular conversation. Hey, do you like the theater? Yeah, I do. It's just kind of that for like six minutes.

I really loved it. You loved it. Yeah, I did. Christoph Waltz has such a warmth to him. He's like a fabulous grandpa. He's a pretty bloody devilishly handsome grandpa. Yeah, that's true. Easy now.

Look out, great. Hey, daughters, lock up your grandmas. That's right. Christoph Waltz is on the prowl. Hey. Is he married, I almost definitely dear brave kind and beautiful boys hello i'm a few eps behind but i decided watch the movie some people huh the unflappable guy montgomery has been flapped i'm a few eps behind, but I decided I'd watch the movie once through

before getting to the director's commentary eps. This has been my tradition in previous seasons, as then I can wrap my head around the nonsense happening on screen for the first watch and listen more closely to the director's revelations during a second screening. I love the level of commitment. I'm only about an hour through We Are Your Friends, but I had to stop and send a donation message your way because holy shit this movie is truly terrible to have watched it so many times

it's a herculean effort and you deserve financial recompense for your suffering and the last two-thirds of that paragraph all in caps oh man that's so good i love the idea of being midway through being like, this movie sucks so bad. I've got to give someone some money. That's how terrible this flick is. I was actually, I can't remember, I was talking to someone recently,

because they didn't know that we're in the throes of our third season. They're like, what movie are you doing? And I said, we are your friends. And they said, is that a comedy? Like with a real wicked look in their eyes. Like, well, you guys are fucked if that's what you're doing.

And I was like, no. And that sort of unlocked the keys to what's been so difficult is this is not and this is like sex in the two was ostensibly also a comedy sex in the city two was a kind of comedy yeah this is not remotely a comedy uh comedy would not be under the list of like genre for this film no you're right. Yeah, it's a drama. And that's how... But it does have moments of comedy. Of course.

But anyway. Everything should, though, I think. So I will continue. And comedies need drama. Of course. So, fuck genres. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, cool, man.

At least Grown Ups 2 and Sex and the City 2 was so devoid of meaning and coherent plot that you could kind of tune out to enjoy the absurdity. But this movie tries so hard to make you care about a group of central characters who are such fucking assholes that it's utterly unbearable. The only exception being maybe Poor Squirrel,

who at the time I paused the movie is having a revelation in the dated sushi shop that he should probably get some better friends and try to be a better human. Yeah. And I know how this movie is going to reward him for that, out of the box thinking. Yeah. And I know how this movie is going to reward him for that out of the box thinking. Yeah.

I'll tone down the all caps because having only watched roughly three fifths of the movie, I have no right to compare my pailing into your true suffering. You're a hero's demise and I wish you well for the rest of your endeavours.

Stay strong, friends. If by any chance this makes it onto a friend zone, you're welcome to say my name. Hugs and kisses for your emotional well-being, Jess. Thank you, Jess.

Jess, I feel like you're a human being who's got a ton of empathy, and I want you to use that to make the world a better place. Thank you so much for your donation and for your emotional support. We hugely appreciate it. Absolutely we do. And that's about it. Look on that fabulous little note, I think we'll be off. Absolutely we do. And that's, I think that's about it. Look on that fabulous little note. I think we'll be off.

Hey, yeah. I'm going to go Google if Christoph Waltz is married or not. What are you going to do with that information? Have it? What am I going to do with any information, guy? I don't know. Like, you know, if you were researching whether or not Christoph Waltz is in New Zealand, I'd be like, oh, you might go and find Christoph Waltz.

But if you find out he's married or not married, I don't think it's going to have any bearing on your behavior. I'm intellectually curious. Some things are just worth knowing. You know? Not everything has to be how to build a boat just so you can build a boat. Sometimes you want to know if Christoph Waltz is married or not. Have you done it?

Are you doing it right now? Yeah. All right. Well, is he? He's got four children. His first marriage was to psychotherapist Jackie. Yeah. All right. Well, is he? He's got four children. His first marriage was to psychotherapist Jackie. The couple raised Miriam, Leon, and Rachel.

He's now married to Judith Holst. And the couple have one daughter together. May I ask, how long have they been married, Judith and he? One moment. Thank you. Just everyone hold on for a second Guy's looking something up for me I can't believe You're claiming he phoned it in

For Green Hornet I kind of want to watch that movie now Just to see Christoph Fox's performance They don't specify But their daughter was born in 2005 So I guess Alright Give me that tone

That's not a tone You're giving me a tone Look It's not what you said It's how you said it This has gone wrong hey everybody thank you very much for joining us in the friend zone um what are we oh we are in the throes of trying to tee up when the auckland um live ep will be uh we're actually

truth be told trying to tee up a screening of the film but um it might prove to be prohibitively expensive in which case we will just do a uh because we want to do we want we wanted to do the art house screening we're still saving the black and white uh we've one of our fans and i forgot sorry what's his name i'm really sorry i will figure that out i've got the file on my computer um someone did a great remix of the film for us to watch which we will we uh sought legal advice from the distributors themselves studio canal uh in new zealand to say can we please do a screening of this edited version and they were like hi thanks for reaching out no yeah we're like yeah that's probably fair enough i could have seen that coming um so now we're investigating whether or not we could screen the actual film,

We Are Your Friends. Anyway, this is relevant for about six people listening. So we're going to round off here. You can find us at a website I haven't updated in about 18 months, worstideaofalltime.com. But what I would invite you to do, and we've got a very great Facebook page, which is facebook.com slash worstideaofalltime. But go to the fucking subreddit

Get involved I want that community to live on I want it to be an active little community I really do Reddit.com slash r We usually go to the reddit T-W-I-O-A-T We usually go there during the friendzone

Do you want me to do one? No, no He's going to do one He's going to do one The latest comment is, a post says, you know, I actually worked at Kmart.

That was posted a day ago. And it says, not sure why I ever thought to bring that up here. It's one of two jobs where I intentionally slept on the job. Ask me anything. And then there's a series of questions and answers. The first question being,

how often do those sun-flinflating rafts destroy three to four aisles? Anyway, we'll see you next week. Thank you so much, everybody. See you, everybody. Bye. Bye. Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy.

Come to the friend zone and have a good time. Yes, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy Cause making friends is the best idea of all time. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here.

This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing.