The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Five

Episode Date: May 6, 2016

SEE THE MIGHTY BOYS LIVE THIS SATURDAY IN AUCKLAND!Guy and Tim are back in the friendzone rummaging through some listener-created intro track submissions. They're pretty bloody excellent TBQH IMPO. Also - a very expensive prop from Grown Ups 2 is on the market and the Paddy/Zac bro-down experiences an early hurdle.There will be a live recording of their second watch at 11pm this Saturday at Monetcristo Comedy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the Friend Zone, which is the name we give to an episode of the worst idea of all time podcast where we don't watch the movie. Just a little in-between taster. It's a zone for friendship, it's a safe space for conversation. It's about getting together, swapping ideas, swapping drinks, swapping some potluck meals. Today Tim's bought a melted tub of Neapolitan. It's quite interesting. It's more like a milkshake at this point though, the consistency And the colour is less Neapolitan but more brown

Isn't it funny, because they're three different colours but brown wins out Brown always wins out If you put all the colours together, what do you wind up with Tim? Always brown, every time Every gosh darn time So welcome along to this friendly room How are you guy? This friendly ambience

Tim, my friend I am great, thanks Life is wonderful, isn't it? Every day is a blessing Every kiss a gift It's all there, it's there for all to see Actually I've recently been incorporating the well-known podcast mantra For a kiss is always a gift into my

comedy show i joined the the new zealand comedy festival uh but instead of saying um a kiss is always a gift i say a christmas kiss is the ultimate gift it's a lovely little twist on an old favorite an old favorite isn't it nice though that you can incorporate things that occur you know, in the online realm into the real realm? Because they're separate realms. Recontextualise that content. What you guys didn't see, because obviously this is a podcast,

is Guy's eyes widened in a terrifying manner. How are you, Tim? I'm scared. I'm scared of what I'm seeing happening on your face when you discover that you can take things that were bits and bytes from the information superhighway and transpose them into your real life. I've got a huge announcement for you Tim and anyone listening at home. If we can raise together cumulatively 6.5 million American dollars. Yes.

We could all move into a home together in a little-known place called 204 Ocean Avenue in Marblehead. All right? Why would we want to do that? Well, first of all, why not? What do friends do? They love hanging out with each other. We could have pancakes for breakfast, waffles for dinner.

Brinner all the time. But also because... Brinner, I like that you just chucked that in there like no one would notice. Is that a commonly used turn of phrase or is that a Montgomery-ism? No, it's very popular. The thing is that the home that I'm describing

Tim, is the one in the same house from Grown Ups 2. That of the fabled party scene Far out That thing's on the market That's right They've cleaned it up There was a deer in there at one point

But it made very little mess From memory I'm not convinced There was a deer in there I think there were some Very talented CGI artists In there In that house

Which are just as grubby They shit everywhere Potato, onion You know I mean what's the difference Damn right. You're putting them in a roast anyway. All I'm saying is, I don't know how to campaign for this,

but if we can get the money together, we could be living together, all of us. And that would be the ultimate friend zone. Just a bunch of podcast fans. Let's do the math. I think the most reasonable expectation is an average donation would be like $10. Okay. So we're going to need to have 650,000 people get involved with this project,

which is a timeshare. I mean, you would get one day out of every 20 years. If we can get $50 from people, we only need 130,000 people. If you pussy-ass, money-scrounging mother-effers were willing to front $2,000 each, we'd only need 3,250 of us. That's a pretty good-looking timeshare.

Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about. The past is the past. The past is the past. And sometimes the past is the pastor. Past pastor, Zicoli, every time. That's right. The past participle of multiple bits of pastor is Zicoli. We pastor is a collie every time. That's right. The past participle of multiple bits of pastor is a collie. We're quite tired, Guy and I.

We've been working our little tail feathers off at the moment doing comedy festival shows. And we're also running a venue. It's bloody, it's good work, but it's hard work. A lot of people would say that your mouth can't chew that much food. And I'd say, that's not how that goes. You've bitten off more than you can chew yeah no one's ever said that your mouth can't chew that much food apart from maybe my parents when I was younger and I would refuse to eat my vegetables

so I'd swallow it with water and I'd put a whole potato in my mouth and I wouldn't chew it because I didn't like the taste I'd just swallow it whole with water did you enjoy potatoes though even though you didn't like the taste did you like having them as part of you? No, I didn't like, for every like 100 grams of vegetables on my plate as a boy, I would probably take on board one liter of water. Wow. Yeah.

You would have been waterlogged as a lad. That's why I'm so fluid. Fluid and flexible. Most people are 60% water. Guy Montgomery is 85% I think most people are 85% I don't know I don't know

Hey, I'll tell you what, Guy Were you going to say something super important? I was going to move things along Much like you were So what we've We asked for ages ago Upon the announcement of Season 3 And we are your friends being our Selection

We asked for anyone who would like to try their dab hand at an intro for us and what was the guy's name ashton johnston or ashton johnson i think johnson i think was the guy who we um heard from in episode one that was his theme i don't know if we're going to stick with it we might we might we might not it's in contention but i want to play some other ones that we've got as well. Just a couple that we've been sent in. This one is from Chad Wilkins. Some call them insane, some call them brave.

Their life will be a non-stop rave. We are your friends. Cinematic crime. Let's hope they survive. The worst idea of all time. That is fucking outstanding. That's really good work. Tim, his arms were in the air.

Really good work from Chad. Hot shit, Chad. You've got to give it up for that one. That's pretty fucking flawed. No doubt. Keep ruffling through them. God damn. I love the creativity of the people who listen to this potty

we got going. This one is from TK Delman. Fuck yeah. It's the worst idea in the world. Season three. Fuck yeah. That's good. I really like, I love that that fade out.

Because I love in radio when people talk, you know, when you have a little talk bed. Or like when you start talking over the end of something. So it's fluid. I really like that. It's a classy touch. Bloody good. What's TJ's production? TK Delman. TK Delman.

TK Delman. So you're talking about the tail on that one. You could talk off the end of it. It was like, And you were like, Yeah, that's cool. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling. I'm just going to play one more for you, okay? Okay.

Christopher Brown sent in this submission. Jesus. Oh my fucking god, what was that? Down City Armory. Oh Jesus. Sorry, coming in off the end. That was honest, that was like, more than that probably captures the spirit of the podcast best, and that's virtually... You think it's over and it never is.

It's almost unlistenable. That's the musical equivalent of just throwing heaps of flavor at a meal that you've fucked up in the hopes that you can fix this i've burned something so i'm just gonna keep putting salt on it till it tastes good and if i add too much salt i'll add more pepper till the salt bit tastes good that's how that works that's how it felt do you know how you get salt out of a meal though potato i was I was going to say pepper. I learned that from Archer. Really? Yeah.

Oh, I think this is one as well. Oh, bonus round. I might have to download it though. It's from a dude called Ethan Hunter. But what are your thoughts so far of these? Oh, look, I really like, I mean, while I'm all for regularity and continuity and having something to earmark the start of the show. Do you reckon we should just

stop around? Let's chuck them on high rotation. Because this is the thing, man. We've had a lot of people when we made the movie announcement they're like, it's not a sequel and it's not that bad.

It's like, yeah, well, guess what? It's happening. We're going to do it anyway. We're dragging ourselves around the block for one final year. We might as well do it. We're goddamn pleased with it before we burn this motherfucker to the ground.

Absolutely. And we want you guys to enjoy it and be on board. Absolutely. Just get on board, would you? Absolutely. Get on board, would you? Get on board the rave ship. Get on board the rave ship.

Get on board the rave ship. While you download that, Tim, I'm quietly going to use this opportunity to say what I think we've both come here to say. Yes. And that is, if you want to watch us discuss We Are Your Friends for the second time in a live environment and are currently stationed in Auckland, New Zealand, have we got news for you. Come tomorrow night, that will be Saturday the 7th of May,

we're doing a live event at the Monte Cristo room it's the venue we produced during the comedy festival 11pm, tickets are $15 they always bring down the pizza there's pizza abound, you'll get a slice of pizza do you know what else we should do?

we've got all those posters left over we'll just fang them out even though they say New York on it We've got all those posters left over. We'll just, we'll fang them out. Oh, yeah. Even though they say New York on it. Yeah, we've got some finale posters from our New York show. We can take those down. We can have a beer. We can have a chat. Some of you illicit drug takers, obviously don't do it in the venue.

I'm winking. Don't do it in the venue. Don't tell people what to do, guy. Yeah, I won't. Hey, it'd be real cool though if we could sell that mother puppery out so um

we've done a very terrible job of promoting it because we've been busy we boys so um if you're in Auckland please come if you

if you're not in Auckland don't worry tell someone who is and if you're like if you're like I would really love to go but I um like I don't have enough money

get in touch with us because I don't want anyone to miss out that's you're a big man tim you're bigger than i am no not really that's just you know it's tough times out there some people they want to see some some cool comedy and they want to be part of something and they you know not everyone's got 15 bucks so just drop us a line on the facebook page and we'll sort something out but then there'll be people with money who will lie that's i'm i'm willing to accept the thieves and the miscreants if it means i'm willing to accept five miscreants if it means that one person who's legitimately doesn't have 15 bucks can come i probably should have discussed this with you before this is a terror you are

running a horrific business model bad business model but it's a good life model. Okay, so here we go. This one is from Ethan Hunter. This should work. It's not working, guy. I'm going to fix it. I'm going to fix it myself. Don't worry, I got this. Here we go.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Everybody fucking fall Yes, yes, yes Best idea of all time What? Motherfuckers on the dance floor, motherfuckers on the dance floor Timbo Guy guy Best idea of all time Timbo Gagai Zicoli Jesus H that was powerful good

Fuck yeah I was kind of waiting for a drop though At the end I gotta admit The podcast is the drop Dang that was a real good one Yeah that was pretty fun I like that one a lot I'm partial to a bit of dubstep It's sort of like an embarrassing guilty pleasure.

I listened to a bit of Skrillex back in the day. I never got down with Skrillex, but when I was around the age of 21, I was listening to a lot of dubstep. It was fun. It was a good time. It was fun. But like all things, you know, you got to move on, move through it, past it. Now I just listen to Chillwave, whatever the F that is.

Shoe gaze and chill wave. Shoe wave, chill gaze. That is going to be We Are Your Friends, Duh, when Zac Efron, Mr. Zicoli himself, takes on a brand new exciting musical genre and learns two chords on the guitar and then has to forge a career in the indie bars of California. I don't think he could hold a guitar without breaking its neck off it at the moment.

Because he's too cut. He's too cut. Also, just before we dip out of the friend zone back out into the terrifying real world, someone has done the research for us and informed us that while Paddy Schwartz Party Time follows the Coley on Instagram, that isn't reciprocated. Oh really? Paddy's following Ephron but Ephron ain't following the Paddy. There is a campaign to be launched there.

Big time you dudes and dudesses. I consider everyone a dude though. Do you? It's a tough one. Because I always used to say dudettes. Yeah, it seems gendered. Yeah, it's not like that. I call, to say dudettes Yeah It seems gendered Yeah It's like how I

I call You know If you act you're an actor And it doesn't matter if you're male or female You're an actor But what if you steward Cabin crew is the accepted non-climacter I think these days Is it

I call them all stewards I remember someone In Melbourne At one of your shows, Guy, you were doing an improv show, called them a sky waitress, I think, and drew a lot of scorn from that very liberal audience, the front row of which was populated entirely

with cabin crew members, just by coincidence. Sheer fluke. Yeah, that was an unfortunate night for that. Sky waitress that's not what they're called um that'll do that'll do us for the friend zone if you've got um some talent or not send us a submission for that intro because the ones that we just played i love them all like my own children that last one that dubstep one i've got to say that's a hot a hot track it's a hot piece of ass.

Hey, look, just keep being nice to each other. We'll see you all tomorrow night, 11pm at the Monte Cristo Room for the worst idea of all time, live. Episode 2, Season 3, we will be discussing Where Are Your Friends? Let the descent into the fiery pits of hell continue.

Do you know what I'm going to do, Guy? You're going to play us out. I am going to play us out with a little more Ethan Hunter. This idea of old time. This idea of old time. This idea of old time.