The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Forty Five

Episode Date: May 18, 2017

Timbly is in Sydney seated right next to the most kick ass raggae sound system ever and Guybo beams in direct from beautiful Blenheim. The fates did not allow the original recording of this Friendzone is remain in its digital form so the boiz try to bouy their excitement while reading messages for the second time and make a big announcement regarding CHARITY - ever heard of it?Trailer: The Male Gayz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Well it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. Come to the friend zone and have a good time. Yes it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time. Hello and welcome along to the friend zone with me live in Blenheim, New Zealand, Guy Montgomery. And me, Tim Beck, coming to you from Sydney, Australia, in the middle of the Sydney International Comedy Festival. I'm on location. Can I ask you this, Tim?

Yeah. Are you sure you're not in Kingston, Jamaica? Oh boy, it certainly feels like it at the moment. I'm next to a very booty sound system that they've set up at the Factory Theatre. And I just thought, you know what this environment lends itself to? Me pulling out a very big yellow microphone sitting by myself and just park it up next to that sound system and doing a podcast record, really. Oh, that's a good look, dude dude first thing that came into my head that's super that's a super good look

what i like the most about it is is how comfortable i'm sure it makes everyone else i'm not gonna look around to see to be honest i like going to new places and doing things which make me feel alien and that is something that you are already doing. I quite enjoyed freaking people out in Japan but this is a different kettle of fish. There's more people. I'm in the minority.

Also in Japan there's an element of like you are at least um you know you're you feel like you've got more of a point of difference. You feel like you're slightly more alien and therefore it's more permissible to do things that you wouldn't otherwise do.

But in Sydney, you're just with superior feeling bastardised versions of New Zealanders. Yeah, that's true. Lesser Kiwis, as we call them at home. Hey, let's press on to this fantastic mailbag that we're clutching for all our fans. Oh yeah, a bit of context as well, actually. I tell you what, guys.

Apologies if this one isn't a hot, hot banger of a friend zone, because we recorded probably the best one ever. Or at least I thought I recorded it. I hadn't. I was telling someone recently, our friend Craig Guy, I was telling him that I've mucked up the record for it. And he said, you muck up quite a lot of records, don't you? I said, oh, mate, I don't muck up that many.

It's just you hear about the ones that I do muck up. But I'm recording stuff all the time. No, that's true. If you championed all your triumphs, Tim, people wouldn't talk to you because they'd be so sick of hearing about how well things are going. But it's about striking a balance. I'll start heralding successful records

slightly more in my everyday life. Do you want me to kick off, mate? I want to tell you this. I like reggae as much as the next person, but is there any way that you can be further away from that speaker or no person but is there is there any way that you can be further away from that speaker or not uh yeah there is do you think that will be better or worse for the for the broadcast i i care about one person and that's guy montgomery what would you like stay there it's i'm like i've had like probably two-thirds of a bottle of red wine and been hanging out with a lot of extended family,

so I'll just, I'll pretty much, I feel like I'm ready to take whatever you throw at me right now. Okay. All right, cool. I'm going to throw some colour your way, buddy boy. First message is here from Daniel. Daniel says, Dearest Timbly Wimbly and Guy Fieri,

I figured I'd chuck some money your way because I'm about to graduate college and felt like celebrating also after this whole ray lee thing i thought i'd nothing yeah sort of you know it says let's celebrate graduating college like throwing you know like ignoring your debt and just throwing more money away i I love it. Daniel, I love it. A lot of money too from Daniel. Also, after the whole Ray Lee thing, I'd like to come hear some beautiful Kiwi voices pronounce some Wisconsin town names.

Go Badgers. Well, Tim, I don't have that message in front of me, so I wish you the best. I forwarded it to you, Guy. Oh, is it in my email right now yeah have you got email yeah I got email have you got that message

hopefully it's there I'm going to attempt the first one while you have a look yeah I've got it Ashkwobinen Wayowega uh Ekonomonowok how would you say that word?

I'd say You can say my name Daniel Thompson I sure can What you are listening to right now Is honestly a reggae staple You love this tune eh I remember coming round to your flat

Yeah man it's a banger Your old flat And you'd have this on all the time It was actually I found it through a drum and bass sample Do you remember what track but you know the original i think i have reason to believe it's by dawn pen um and it is truly one of my all-time favorites i got a message for you tim

hey throw it at me bruh sup tim chacho and guy diddly diddly diddly just wanted to thank you guys friend for always brightening my day with your amazing podcast. You're such an inspiration. Smiley face. Anyways, my buddies and I put on an improv show every Thursday and we decided to parody the podcast for this week's poster. Best wishes from Calgary, Alberta

Kiefer Jennings. And they have attached the most horseshit poor um promotional And they have attached the most horseshit poor promotional material for an improv show. I mean... So it looks just like ours. Exactly. But you're already up against it trying to get people to come watch improv.

You've got to put a little bit of effort into the design here, guys. I respect that you're doing it in reference to us, though. And also, it's probably quite a good way of getting, like, you know, people who might be fringe worst-odd air fans will see that and be like, this might be affiliated, you know? Cash in on that branding, baby. How popular do these people think we are? Well, look, I did, when I was in Wellington,

I asked a guy in the street for directions when I was in Newtown for a particular cafe I wasn't aware of and he was a big fan. And then he came to my comedy show because I comped him in. Shit, that's a good story. Thanks, bro. What was your favourite bit of it? It was genuinely

the bit when the guy who asked for directions turned out to be a fan of yours. Yeah. Fan of ours. Fan of ours. Yeah. Sorry. Fan of ours. Fan of ours. Correct. Here's a message, guy. Do you want the next one?

You got it? No, I'm going to give you one. I'm going to give it to you. This person has accompanied the following text with 50 sweet USD. Hey, lads. Just wanted to spend. Just wanted to. Oh, sorry. Oh, man. I fucked up at the first hurdle. Hey, lads just wanted to spend just wanted to oh sorry oh man i fucked up at the first hurdle

hey lads just wanted to send you some supporters it's been on my to-do list for the last year and the guilt from repeatedly realizing i'd forgotten it another week was just getting too much you're providing pure comedy gold and i'll be gutted once the season ends though i'm sure you'll be on to bigger and better things or perhaps you'll mentally crumble without the weekly structure that this podcast provides and be forced to return for a fourth season. Fingers crossed. You also... Or ye of little faith, I should say.

I have a memory of you saying you like knowing the random places your podcast was listened to. So I thought I'd let you know that I listened to The Worst Idea of All Time while travelling across Africa from South Africa to London London, a famous African town guy

That you'll know well And your back and forth banter was pretty much The only thing keeping me going during a climb of Kilimanjaro when I was too sick to eat You are legends Keep up the good work, Rob We have read these messages before in the aforementioned ghost friend zone

that did not get recorded. But I'm not going to attempt to replicate my excitement at hearing about Rob's journey up Kilimanjaro except to say that I was thrilled and ecstatic that a small part of us in the form of our digitized voices has been up Mount Kilimanjaro. I agree.

I feel like that's a shared accomplishment. I got one for you here, Tim. Are you ready? Hey, boy. Before you go on, just thank Rob for me into the microphone and give it a little kiss. Rob, this thank you is from Tim and Tim alone.

I owe you nothing. Hey, boys. As you know, I've been listening to The Potty since season one, and you guys were a big part of the inspiration to start my podcast, The Adam Sandbox, where we are watching every movie featuring or produced by Adam Sandler. Well, this week it's time for us to watch Grown Ups 2, and in preparation, I decided to re-listen to every episode of season one

and did it in two goddamn days. And today today i watched the movie for the first time and i gotta say it was a fucking doozy i feel for you don't i feel for you boys i don't know how you did it for two times just thought you guys should know also you both killed it during the comedy fest and it was good to say hi and then just finished just finished recording the Grown Ups 2 episode and of the 47 movies we've watched so far, 47 is so many, this is by far our craziest, most polarising conversation. That movie really had a lot going on.

Do drops on the 26th if you are interested. So the 26th of May, which is 10 days from now-ish, cheers boys. So the Adam Sandbox, if you want to hear that opinion on Grown Ups 2. Their format is they only watch Adam Sandler movies, right?

Produced by or featuring. He's got 47 films to his name, in some way, shape or form. He's got all sorts of film credits to his name. That's so many. 47 different movies. Yeah, dude. Shit, man.

Good on him. Good on you, Adam Sandler. And good on you boys at the Adam Sandbox for watching every single one of them, enjoying them in their own context, giving them the time of day when lesser men like guy and i wouldn't here's a message hi boys boys boys so it's about each way first with the y and the s

and the traditional and then the yz and then the iz which actually i've been thinking a lot about recently guy because i think i've been writing online a lot of yz but actually i should have been doing iz because that's what we've got on the merch oh look man it's fucking potato tomato who gives a flying hoot i'm a huge fan of the podcast and wanted to share my appreciation for your effort and humor i donated ten dollars on the website but didn't see where to leave a message so i decided to email instead i had an interesting questing over beers today and wanted to hear your guys thoughts. My friend asked if you were stuck on a desert island with one person which nationality would you want that person to be? I said New Zealander. New Zealandish? New Zealandite? Because they seem funny and industrious and wouldn't sunburn easily. Which nationality would both of you pick? Love you guys. Keep on truckin'. Say my name.

But just my first please, if you accidentally say my last, it's pronounced Schwager. And the first name is Hannah. Hannah Schwager. Said the whole thing. Hannah, to answer your question, I get sunburned so easily and am

of no use to you on a desert island and I would like to be stranded with hmm an Argentinian oh good call no reason, real nice no basis for that, I don't even care which

Argentinian, just want me and one person, a random sample or representative of the Argentinian people to spend eternity together. Far out, man. I got nothing but respect for whoever's DJing at the factory theatre right now. It's a food truck, believe it or not, guy. It's called the Island Boys.

What are they serving up? Just massive Scooby Dooby Doobs? It's like jerk chicken and cornbread like real good caribbean yeah man i got cheesy chips because i can't eat the meat anymore because i said i wouldn't i can if i want yeah you still can dude hey hannah also said and i'm gonna pick mexican i'm following your lead to just arbitrarily pick a person, particularly who speaks Spanish. So I'm going to go Mexican. One follow-up question.

I'm in love with Alice Sneddon. Is she as cool and funny in real life as she is on Bonus of the Heart and on her Instagram? Please tell her and all the members of the Little Empire Podcast Network to come and do shows in New York City because your fans here will come out in droves. Now, I forwarded this on to Aliceice guy and alice said this is very nice however please respond with quote she's a nightmare and a phony i would want nothing to do with her but she knows things about

me that i need to keep quiet all the best tim i would like to say this to you. Alice Sneddon is a piece of shit. Yeah, she's awful. And I actually spent quite a lot of time with her today. She picked me up, took me out for breakfast, and drove me to the airport. And in spite of all of that goodwill, I still cast her aside as a genuine piece. So take from that what you will. Oh, man. I will.

Oh, man. This one here comes from Maureen. And as you've mentioned, we have, you and I at least, have trudged through these messages before. And this one, I think it's very important we do again because. I really, I don't mean to um nitpick but i cannot approve the adjective uh sorry the verb trudge to describe how we get through these these messages of holiness initially it's not a trudge it's a joyous skip but i think celebrate these messages

emails of support we love them but on the secondaround, they lose their luster a little bit. Yeah, like, you know, yesterday when we did it, we were together in a room. Yeah. Experiencing it for the first time. And now we are separated by the Tasman. Time difference. And reggae.

Location, reggae. But this was an important one because it inspired, and, you know, there's no actual record of this happening, but a genuine moment of altruism from the boys, who are usually not above money-grubbing and begging. Should we read the message from Maureen and try and follow it through? Yes. So it reads as follows.

Boys. This is a friend of the podcast, Maureen Johnson. Young adult author. Former, this is a friend of the podcast, Maureen Johnson, young adult author, former, maybe still current intern unless she's ascended the ranks at Good Friends

from Welcome to Night Vale, Maureen Johnson. Twitter personality, Maureen Johnson. Boys, real life personality, Maureen Johnson. Future real life

friend of Guy Montgomery, Maureen Johnson. Boys, I just wanted to give you my love, in all caps, and appreciation, also in all caps, Maureen Johnson. Boys, I just wanted to give you my love, in all caps, and appreciation, also in all caps, for what you do. I just let go of my Patreon, not because of lack of love, but because I wanted to get in there and support you

in a big way for a few months. Going to be reallocating that particular cash to a food bank I work with. I know you guys are certainly behind that sort of thing as well people need food not a mouthful of concrete or blazed pizzas that never arrive i just wanted to say thank you and hope i could help for a few months you're good boys and the reaction yesterday and the reaction i still feel today is maureen we would like to take this good deed and match it by saying all donations directed to us either through

the PayPal or the Patreon for the month of June will be taken and donated to a charity as agreed upon by us and you um how exactly we're going to figure it out how exactly we choose

the charity we don't know but any donations we receive between now and the end of June will be going to a it out. How exactly we choose the charity, we don't know. But any donations we receive between now and the end of June will be going to a worthy cause, as inspired by the genuine altruism of Maureen. So thank you for the message, Maureen. Thank you for the inspiration to do good. It was a really amazing move on Maureen's behalf to help us out so much at the start with the Patreon.

And she's just absolutely nailed the execution of what she's done there. Because I get little notifications when people change their donation amounts. And I saw her do it a couple of weeks ago. I was like, yep, fair enough. Fair enough. But it wasn't for the reason that I thought. The reason why I thought she was getting off the boat was because we try as we might,

haven't been delivering everything exactly to spec and on time as we would have liked, but we do augment those rewards, don't we, Guy? We come up with other nifty little ideas for things and we put them on to people who help us out financially. Exactly. Has there ever been a better time to chuck some money or support us on Patreon

than right now because your money's going to go to a dope-ass charity that we're going to figure out what it is and it's all thanks to Maureen. So Maureen, thank you for turning the world. And you, the inspiration for it is thanks to Maureen, but the actual donation, the thrust of what we're about to do

is a credit to you yourself absolutely Saint Maureen we shall call her patron saint of podcasting Saint Reen Saint Reen

I've got a donation here from Ty for 25 bucks and I think you've got a message from Ty maybe this is how it reads

hey fellas just went back and ripped through season one which was honestly the primary reason i dragged myself to study slash work every day you two are truly international assets and in order to keep myself occupied during this trying time i kept a running list of new words i've never heard before or in use them. The list is as follows. Wound out, gravitas, keen, meta, dross, monosyllabic, dunga, piss bolting, dining in the dark, voyeurism, guttural, dancing face, idiosyncrasies, dancing face doesn't exist anywhere outside of Worcester, by the way, voyeuristic, glamourpuss, exist anywhere outside of Worcester there by the way. Voyeuristic, Glamourpuss, Visceral, Similitude, Archetypal, Ouvre. US and NZ are the only countries that can advertise medicine.

Penny Farthing, Catatonic, Self-Flagellation, Bunging at the Fizz, Haas Eagle. In the spirit of the friendzone I've disclosed $1 per new word idea. They say never meet your hero, so here's $25 to keep the fuck out of Denver, Colorado. I forgot to attach a message to PayPal, so hopefully Tim works his magic and figures this out. Guy, I've attached a link to another podcast I listen to where they throw shade at the disc golf community, who I have no qualms with, by the way. It's Ultimate Frisbee Players, who my bug to bear lies with. If you could get a crossover episode i think it would make my i think my noggin would explode stay turnt tie oh man i missed that on the first go around so it's a podcast specifically dedicated to just

hating on what is it called golf it's called touching base with Post-Grad Problems. Dave, Ruff, Dylan, Shavere and Will DeFray's Touch Bass on various topics to distract you from the office, school or your commute. And these boys look, it looks like a popular podcast, I've got to be honest with you. Looks like they're having a lot of fun, a lot of laughs. Should we try and tee it up, mate? I'm getting very iry over here.

Maybe I could bring a bit of iry to their show. Oh, they all, I mean, they all look like us. They're wearing button-down polo shirts and they're white. I don't know that we need a fusion of these skills. Of course we do. The less diversity, the better the show. That's how it works, isn't it? If TV's taught me anything, it's that.

Yeah, you're smart. I'm a smart guy. Hey, maybe we need to go, because I know that you've had a long day. As good as the soundtrack is, I should probably stop doing this, because I'm really freaking people out now. All right. Reece Nicholson spotted me. I'm just a freak holding a phone and a microphone up to my mouth.

No worries, Tim. The other purpose of this broadcast would be, I imagine, to say this. Sydney, where Tim is, I will soon be. We're coming for you both individually and together. Can I tell you this? That on Saturday at 4.45 p.45pm at the Enmore Theatre, we'll be doing a live show in Sydney, Australia. There are still tickets available.

Please join us. It might be 5.45pm. It's probably 5.45pm. I think it's 5.45pm. Please come. Please come. Secondably, I will say this. My show opens tomorrow.

Please come. I, tomorrow, as an arbitrary figure. Yeah. Look it up. secondably I will say this my show opens tomorrow please come alright tomorrow is an arbitrary figure yeah look it up due to uncertain circumstances

my show's happening I'm only doing three over the weekend Friday, Saturday, Sunday it's called Let's Get In A Room Together for details as always

please visit guymoncomedy.com forward slash shows Tim I'm grateful for you dismissing me yes I want you to have a great night in Sydney I imagine it's 7.51pm there shows. Tim, I'm grateful for you dismissing me. I want you to have a great night in Sydney.

I imagine it's 7.51pm there on a warm and balmy Wednesday evening. It's pissing down in Blenheim at 9.51pm on a Wednesday. I'm about to climb into my bed and watch an episode of Figo. Oh God, that sounds delightful. Good on you, mate. Enjoy that.

See you soon. I'll see you real soon. And all of you, on you, mate. Enjoy that. See you soon. I'll see you real soon. And all of you. Take care, friends. Stay friendly. Bye. Bye. Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. Come to the friend zone and have a good time.

Yes, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. Because making friends is the best idea of all time. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try The Male Gaze?