The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Ninety Four

Episode Date: February 25, 2020

Hello Friend. This FZ has been video recorded for the Patreon Pals, who you can join.Guy and Tim are falling to bits, their bodies are failing them. But they encourage all men to get their prostates checked. The fellaz’ friends are checking in and reminding them they don’t have to keep punishing themselves (but they will). We have gusto! Sponsored by MeUndies. Well, not yet but maybe one day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. It's the friend zone. We're gonna have a good time. It's the friend zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time. Is that Brady? That's Joseph Pupo. Friend zone. Hey! That was sick, eh? Yeah, that was really nice. That was sort of a barbershop quartet style Friendzone introduction.

Tim. Hold on. Who do we owe that pleasure? Andrew Forsythe. Forsythe is a powerful surname. Do you remember Bruce Forsythe? The name. Bruce Forsythe.

He was like a game show host from the UK. Bruce Forsythe. I think. Bruce Forsythe. He was like a game show host from the UK. Bruce Forsythe. I think he had the Generation Game. I think that was him. Bruce Forsythe's Generation Game. Tell me about the premise of the Generation Game. Well, I can't remember, but I'm going to guess that it was kind of like parents versus their kids

in a selection of quests. That's quite fun. Yeah, isn't it? I think it's quite good. I think any time you pit generations against one another, you're onto something good. I'm all about intergenerational warfare. For those of you who

can't see, Tim is barefoot and has taken one of those bare feet and just rested it on a table in front of him at full stretch. Stretching a leg. Is that alright? Yeah, the way we're sitting next to each other feels sort of transity. So it does feel a bit like you're disrespecting me on a plane or a bus.

But truth be told, Tim, I'm about you being comfortable. I'm about me being comfortable. I'm about everyone enjoying the friend zone with us being comfortable. Welcome back to the friend zone, Guy. I'm in a really good space right now. It's been a minute. We're both battling unnamed medical ailments That's right I paid a man named Dr. Gene $80 today

For the pleasure of describing various different types of headaches I've been having And I thought we were getting along At the end of it, I chanced my arm with a joke And it was about some medical advice he'd given me. And it didn't read as a joke to him. He didn't laugh. I want to make you louder somehow. What if I do that?

Yeah, yeah, that's great. Okay. Anyway, it undermined the whole experience and it cost me. What was the joke? 80 bucks. Do you remember? I told him some of the medication I've been taking for these quite intense headaches I've been having and he said you don't want to have that

unless you've got serious migraines because it can have very real ramifications for your heart and blood pressure and he just took my blood pressure and told me it was perfect and I said but I got away with it because I'd already

taken it and he said you don't want away with it because I'd already taken it. Yeah. And he said, you don't want to take it. Hey, lighten up, Dr. Gene. Yeah. Come on, man. Fuck, I liked him though. Yeah? I liked him.

And also- Was that reciprocated? Do you think he took a shine to you? There was a time when I thought- If I was a doctor, and God willing, one day I will be, I'd be delighted for a guy in Montgomery to walk into my clinic. That is so sweet. Walk into my office.

Imagine if our paths diverge. We follow different journeys, different tracks, and then 20, 30 years down the line, I walk into a doctor's office. I'm putting on a rubber glove, lubing up, ask you to bend over and cough. I don't know who it is because you're a plastic surgeon. You've done a lot of work on your face. God'm like god there's something familiar about this man those steely eyes i'm a full-time surgeon but i've got a real passion of checking men's prostate so i'm kind of

doing that as a side hustle it's you know i reckon that's going to be a lucrative market going forward if you get into private practice private prostate practice it's called private practice because it's all about privates everywhere i turn now it feels like men are Encouraging me or other men To get their prostate checked And if you're listening along and you're a fella over 30 30? Is that what we're telling people now? I'm making this up

Get your prostate checked In fact just check Check each other's prostates Yeah How hard can it be? If it is hard though In fact, just check each other's prostates. Yeah. You know? How hard can it be? If it is hard, though, then you've got to go to a doctor. That is a problem.

Seek professional help. Absolutely. Hey, Tim. Yeah? How are you? What's your malady? Oh, is that? Medical malady, not M-E-L-O-D-Y. I believe it's M-A-L-A-D-I-E, perhaps?

You know how usually the body does a great job of digesting food and getting it out in this sort of form where it's all together? My body's not doing such a great job of that at the moment. That is a very generous way of sparing us the grisly biological details of what sound like some messy shits, brother. An absolute porcelain disaster. Our first message comes to us from Matthew, who has kindly contributed some dosh,

17 US dollars. In fact, there is a fucking couple of movie tickets these days. I reckon. And we'd know Matthew says, Hey boys, thank you. This,

by the way, comes to us from the month of July, 2019 together. We'll make it to the end. Hey boys, thank you for your service and pushing the conceptual boundaries July 2019. Together we'll make it to the end. Hey, boys. Thank you for your service in pushing the conceptual boundaries of podcasts. If you make more podcasts in the future,

you could talk about anything. It's not mandatory that you suffer for your content. That is sweet music to my ears. In any case, I'll listen to anything you put out. Your habits of repeated exposure to a particular piece of media inspired me to listen to garage rock classic Surf and Bird by the Trash Men every morning for 40 days. It's like the opposite of Lent.

Well, it's like... Point this into your mouth. It's not doing what I want it to. Was it the microphone or was it the man? I was going to say that there's a crossover quality with Josh Hartnett's 40 Days and 40 Nights. Do you remember that film? Yeah, that was about Lent, wasn't it? Yeah, he couldn't nut.

It was no nut November, but at Lent. And pre-read it. What happened to the great Josh Hartnett? It's a very good question. It's a name I haven't heard mentioned for some many moons. it it's a very good question it's a name i haven't heard mentioned for some many moons and do you know the the actor against whom he was acting was a most beautiful woman who i also remember from the film a knight's tale julia no also have not heard hide nor hair from her for what must be about a decade was her name in the movie juliet i don't remember in the ballpark

there's more of this message while you check that as well. So this man has been listening to Surf and Bird by the Trash Men every morning for 40 days. It was a great experience. No ill effects. That's a worry. The following spring I listened to Surf and Bird at least once a day for a couple of months.

It did me good. I plan to have a Surf and Bird power hour some rainy day soon, in which each iteration of the song constitutes a minute of the hour, making for 60 plays in a row. Wow. That's a lot. You guys should consider a treat of a fifth season, in which you do something positive for yourselves,

or the community every week, like going to the spa every week and talking about it, or volunteering around town and reporting it. Enough rambling. Love you. Thanks. In Cutaway. No, it rhymes with Cutaway.

It starts with a C. I'm running with that. Cutaway, Wisconsin, USA. Matt Cone. Cone? Cone, I'd say. I'm not going to spell it because it feels like that's too many details well attached

to the man let's just say it's a yeah i think it's coin or coin coin a coin if he is abiding the kanye rule of pronunciation hey so josh hartnett it turns out still acting just not anything that a little bit low-key huh yeah a little bit low-key, huh? Yeah, a little bit low-key. The actor who he was performing against, who played a woman named Erica, Erica's son, is Shannon Sossamon. And, if you're curious... I'm not. She stopped acting in 2015.

Good for her. More people need to get out of acting. Dude, I totally agree I feel like, especially growing up when I read gossip magazines and whatnot They'd be so sharp and curt and rude towards actors who maybe just decided to stop acting It's like, hey, I just accrued tens of millions of dollars for five years work Here's an idea I'm out

Put my fucking feet up Fucking A Lord knows if we somehow monetize this podcast, apart from the friend zone, we would not be subjecting ourselves, you know, at the request of Matt, to these things that we continue to do. I'd love to just be friends with you.

I'd love to just be friends. I actually reckon there'd probably be more time. If the money was there, that means that i wouldn't have to run around doing the other bullshit to find the money and i just do silly shit like this one season we make 10 million dollars do we make another season or do you say fuck we did it 10 mil fuck yeah i'm doing it for 10 mil you better believe it but i just told you that i would do it for fun look if i got paid five million dollars to never make the worst idea of all time again. Yeah.

Or to never do it again. So I'm saying we do a season. One last job. Yeah, exactly. Come out of retirement. You're tending to your garden. I show up. I look like the milkman, but I'm not the milkman at all.

It's me, Monty. And I say, Tim. How'd you find me? I looked you up in the phone book. Oh. We still have them. Dang it. I can't believe I'm still listed in spite of the fact that I tried to get off the grid.

Yeah. Hey, that veggie patch is looking good. Thanks. This is what I do now. Speaking of veggie patches, did you hear of the 2020 film Peter Rabbit 2 starring James Corden as the titular Peter Rabbit? I'm thinking you, me, a screen. It was a long time ago,

Guy. I'm out the game. I'm out of shape. I grow vegetables now. $10 million. For people, not for rabbits. Split two ways. You'll never see me again afterwards. I'm taking it, for sure. I'm gonna do that. Yeah, nice. Peter Rabbit too though. Woof. Hey, this is actually from the aforementioned Andrew

Forsythe, who shared that fantastic intro. He said, Hey there, Tim actually from the aforementioned Andrew Forsythe who shared that fantastic intro. He said, hey there Tim Bone and Guy Fighter. I recorded my own rendition of the

Friend Zone theme and I'd be on it. If you'd play it on the Friend Zone, if this makes it to the pod, please put my full name in. Thank God.

Andrew Christopher Forsythe. Oh, Christopher. My dad actually has the middle name Christopher. On the record, big fan of your work.

Someone's got to do what you do and it's you too. Thanks for being so strong for all of us, your friend, Andrew. It's like a philosophical question. Someone's got to do what you do, and realistically, it's you. Because if you weren't doing it, then it wouldn't exist. No one else would be doing it, yeah.

And not with the same gusto. Gusto. Yeah. We have gusto. We've got gusto, guile, and moxie stephen writes hello frosty fellas i discovered your podcast a few months ago and since then i've listened to the whole thing twice your kiwi voices haunted my dreams for a few weeks firstly i wanted to tell you about my first listen for the initial three to four episodes, I was completely convinced this was an improv exercise

with you two making shit up as you go along. No way did I believe that crazy shit actually happened in a real-ass movie. Eventually, I realized it was all real and I was horrified. Second, I'm the guy on Twitter who told you I'd be watching grown-ups 2 and sex in the city 2 back to back to celebrate you finishing season 4 you advised against it and you boys were correct i watched grown-ups 2 and it was absolutely awful i tweeted my commentary briefly but it just evolved into several what the fucks over and over i have a memory of this twitter thread and being quite delighted quite tickled with it at the time. After I finished, I went on to

Sex and the City 2. I didn't even make it to the title card. Just a few minutes more than enough. I did manage to break the movie up into small chunks and get through it over the course of a week. Spoiler alert, it sucks. Don't need to tell us, Stephen. Thirdly,

We Are Your Friends is an okay movie. Admittedly, I've only seen it thrice, and it was supplemented by some stuff, but my reaction both times has been a firm, okay, I will continue watching and see how that changes. I'm sad that I'll be missing Guy's show at the Fringe. Okay, let's check the month on this, August. As this will be the first year in five I'm not going,

hopefully I'll catch one or both of you at a future Fringe. You will catch Guy at this upcoming Fringe. That's right. You fuckers are insane. And I hope you do a season five in some form or another. And I hope you read this in a friend zone in 2022. If your bug will go and there's anything to go by, say my name, Stephen from Northampton in England.

Shout out Stephen Northampton. Only. Shout out Stephen from Northampton. Only two years shy of an accurate guess. Thank you for your message. I really admire your cowardice in not making it to the title card of Sex and the City 2. I think you did the right thing. And I stand behind calling you a coward for it. This one reads, hey, good, good boys. boys you know what make more sense if we if i give you my phone and you can read emails so we can get through these we've got quite current

facebook messages which is what you're reading out does it would it not make more sense yeah there is a part of me that thinks it would but then it's like we're in this we're doing it this way well then we get in the backlog on facebook is that better the backlog is so much less some yeah yeah someone was um someone tweeted at us saying oh yeah i already forgot before just before we record i was like i gotta find that guy's fucking message yeah anyway already forgot about it tyler yeah i've got it i got it here right oh that's right. This is not from Tyler. This one says, hey, good, good boys.

And the thing is, Tim, if someone is addressing the good, good boys, you just know they're talking to us. Yeah, man. Or the McElroys. Are you a good boy? Uh, yeah. Were you always a good boy? I think so.

What year were you your naughtiest? Mmm, 2000 and I'm going to go with 14. What were you up to? Just rabble rousing That's when we were bonding bro 2014 How old were we? 6 years ago now 7 years ago isn't it?

It's 2020 do the math 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 Eat my shit Yeah alright See how it works That's when we were both nominated for the Billy T 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. Eat my shit. Yeah, all right. See how it works. That's when we were both nominated for the Billy T. We'd been on TVNZU together.

We were forming a fucking bond. And the whole time, beneath my very eyes, you were rabble-rousing? You were sneaking around rabble-rousing between times? Yeah. I was working on the radio, getting a head full of steam, running around the clubs. Shit, it's good being young. So it's gone, and that's fine. I was at my naughtiest around 11 years old.

Wow. What were you up to? Well, I'd always been- Too much cake and ice cream. Quite a law-abiding citizen, but I had some bloody mischievous friends, and they'd love causing mischief. And I was never that comfortable spearheading it, but I wanted to be part of the group. And we'd go to a mall a local mall in Christchurch and we'd

get on bikes, every night we'd go down into the new world and we'd fucking take the geode and we'd run up and down the aisle doing flamethrowers and what not that's sick man, yeah and every Friday we'd get kicked out of the supermarket by the same security guard, poor guy

as naughty as I've been, it was a woman, you sexist pig. Yep. I'll wear that. Hey, good, good boy. Come on, Tim. It was 2001. Women can be security guards now. Hey, good, good boys.

For cats, my theory is that Francesca Hayward's character is actually a rebirthed cat, cat after an ex-life, a cat that had already taken the chandelier to cat heaven and fallen back to earth. Francesca Hayward's character is actually a rebirthed cat, cat after an ex-life, a cat that had already taken the chandelier to cat heaven and fallen back to earth. She was last year's Jennifer Hudson, winner of the competition to be reborn, and she's rejoining the Jellicle Cats group.

The other cats keep asking, is she a Jellicle cat? And they don't know because the reborn cat gets to be whatever they want to be. Pretty grim if you finally free yourself from the Jellicle cult and then within a year you're reborn into it. You're back. I

independently think I voiced this theory on one of the final episodes of the pod. I love it. I support it. I believe in it. And I posited it. Posited is a 50 cent word. Not getting enough circulation. My friend Joe yesterday

No two nights ago Used the word alacrity And I was like This motherfucker Should be on TV Alacrity is so good I don't even know what it means I think enthusiasm

Do something with alacrity I couldn't tell you what that means But that's how you use it It's fancy gusto right And gusto in and of itself Not bad Is pretty flash I Not bad. I like gusto.

Hey, this is very disruptive, but now's a good time to mention this is a video podcast, and I'm about to move the table slightly so that guy's face is not completely obscured by the microphone for the lovely people on Patreon who may be watching. Oh, what if I set up? No, you're right. It's an angle thing.

Hey, that's cool. Well, while you're angle thing. I'm just going to do a bit of this. Hey, that's cool. Well, while you're doing that, I'm just going to read something here from Richard. Let's get that, like... Is that good for you? It's great for me. People love that. Do you love it?

I love that. Just to say, I've been really enjoying the Cats miniseries. Come over to follow up when you watch it seven times in one day. Fuck, Richard, that is not an appealing or, to your credit, bad bad idea i was reading about and i'm gonna get the details slightly wrong but the blu-ray release and something got cancelled and it might have been a 4k version got cancelled and they had big plans for it and there was talk about director's commentaries which i would pay serious money to hear so i'm hoping to tell me about the

production process of Cats. From memory, that was a big thing we took away after watching all that Cats, was that it was missing several K. It wasn't the stuff that was happening, it was the number of K. The resolution? Yeah.

Oh, okay. I don't see that. It goes in and out. It's one of those rare movies that is otherwise perfect, save for its K. Not enough K. Yeah, but if you see it at the right K, it its K. Not enough K. Yeah. But if you see it at the right K,

it's a fucking stonker. Gotcha. Roger that. Barbara writes, just found you. Episode five. I'm in love. Barbara's got a photo here because that's what Google does sometimes.

And that is Barbara who's in love with us. Oh, wow. That is a great email. To the point. Tremendous. Don't get enough boomers. This is more self email. To the point. Tremendous. Don't get enough boomers. This is more self-flagellation. My guys, 10 out of 10 on My Week With Cats.

You both are my Jellicle choices today and every day. Aww. That's so sweet. Yeah, that is nice. I like that a lot. Do you want to read this one? It's long. Yeah.

This one's from Nick. I love sight reading. Cool. Do you know I think of it as a strength of mine? I would also consider it a strength of yours. Thank you. This one is entitled Gratitude for the Boys. Date it.

6-8-2019. Hello, Tim and Guy. If it's at all possible, I would request that Guy read this email. Had you already read that? I had not, that is insane Truly? I am like, that's fucking weird You intuited that

That's really weird That is nuts I've never done that before No, you haven't Wow, anyway What the fuck is going on here? Well let's find out I'm shitting my pants, you've got headaches

I'm prescient all of a sudden I've wanted to email you guys for a while now, but I haven't had anything in particular to say. Well, recently I've been trying to think more positively and cope with my stress in more positive and productive ways. So I got to thinking about the things for which I am grateful.

I thought the frosty fellas might appreciate hearing that your podcast was one of the first things on my mind. While I love the main podcast, I've really loved the openness you've displayed on the friend zone might appreciate hearing that your podcast was one of the first things on my mind while i love the main podcast i've really loved the openness you've displayed on the friend zone and your friendship from someone who has struggled with finding friends all my life i find hope in the kinship you boys share well starting out this email i also thought i might share a time when i've recently shit myself in solidarity with the guy himself guy man this is all coming

together this is uncanny yeah i was playing basketball truly balling with a friend when i came down from a layup and realized that my digestive system had betrayed me i then said to my friend i think i'm done with basketball we then walked from the court to my house where i had to confess to him that i'd shit myself pleased to not make any connection between this story and my lack of friends i swear the two are mostly unrelated well after all that soul bearing i'm emotionally raw leave it to me to transition from heartfelt praise of the podcast to a shit story to get back on topic thanks for all you do from the bottom of my heart feel free free to say my name. Regards, Nick.

P.S. If my ploy has succeeded, I've lured Guy Montgomery into pronouncing the city name of Raleigh, North Carolina, correctly, or at least less terribly. C. Roar. I really don't want to do this because I feel like this is part of the trap. He's read this, it's written out like a different collection of words

that he wants me to read together. C. Roar. Full stop. Leave. He's trying to fucking make me start it by mispronouncing R-A. Okay. As raw as in food.

Guy, I'm sorry for the deception and please don't let this chip in the cinema of the email if you would like to lessen the sting please note that I had a hell of a time trying to shoehorn in the phonetic sounds of Ra and Lee next to each other and spent a considerable amount of time

mimicking a Kiwi accent if I failed, touche you win this round, Mont might I just say speaking of North Carolina yeah and the prescience of this email I'm presently wearing a t-shirt, not from Raleigh, North Carolina, but from a motel I stayed at in North Carolina. First time wearing a t-shirt in New Zealand.

It's from the Mountaineer in Asheville, North Carolina. That's a great email. How did all this happen? How did I hand you the phone? How is it about shitting yourself? How is it, North Carolina? Life is a beautiful journey. And...

So is Nick. Nick is also a beautiful journey. So that was from Nick. Thank you so much, Nick. That was really fucking sweet. It captured the whole tone of what the friendzone is, which is like heartfelt appreciation for one another and also some stories about shitting yourself.

Someone just messaged in Carrie Bradshaw. That is the entirety of the message. And I like, I would like to receive some more messages like that actually. Just a couple of words. This one reads, we've already missed this, I think.

Oh boy. It was just someone passing on. A friend organized a stone screening of Cats at the beautiful Hollywood Cinema in Avondale, Auckland, New Zealand. Yes, sadly, I was very keen to go, but I think I was out of town. It was on a Friday recently, and the film, so this is Ant Timpson's brother runs that cinema, and I think he owns it. It was restored.

You've been there, eh? It is an absolutely beautiful cinema. If you're ever in auckland you gotta go check out the hollywood avondale they have music gigs there they're playing silence of the lambs there quite soon they do a lot of stuff and they get like 35 millimeter prints in of movies they do great stuff anyway they got and i've forgotten i've forgotten ant's brother's name the guy who runs the place but he put the word out. He was like, we're showing cats, bring your edibles, bring your drugs. It's going to be great.

And then the New Zealand Drug Foundation, I think it's called, you know, there was a bit of media hoopla, and some people said, hey, man, you can't just advocate for people to bring illegal drugs to your movie screening. He was like, whatever Worth a crack Soon it won't be There's a referendum in New Zealand this year

In which we will vote whether or not to legalise it Yeah, it's not going to happen unfortunately Don't criticise it In the great words of Peter Tosh Also, speaking of the Timpsons Another shout out to Ant Timpsons Oh, Come to Daddy is out Yes

You've got to see Come to Daddy You've got to You must. Elijah Wood. Yeah. Is Ant a friend? Ant's kind of a friend. Yeah.

He started the 48-Hour Film Festival in New Zealand, or the competition, rather, which is the most well-run, amazing one in the world, which birthed people like Taika. Yes. And others. Absolutely. So Come to Daddy, it's out now. well-run amazing one in the world which birthed people like taika yes and um others absolutely uh so come to daddy it's out now in new zealand cinemas horror comedy it's it's coming out around the world and select things if you're somewhere like la or something i'm sure it'll be on you

love to hear it you want a message guy more than anything here's one from audrey who writes as i put both feet up on the table to get maximum relaxter, Dear Mr's Bat Montgomery, I know I'm a little late to the game, and so am I, because this was the 20th of August, but I've been slowly listening to all of the podcasts for the past few months, and after deciding I should familiarise myself with the non-McElroy parts of Death Blight, partially motivated, I confess,

to get better at telling your voices apart. Fair enough. One episode a year is not enough for it to stick in my mind. There was no exclamation mark. I just thought it'd be funny to put a little stank on. I actually first learned of your, ooh, I don't know this word, Sisyphean?

Sisyphean? Sisyphus was a mythic or potentially real Greek character who was condemned for some sort of misdemeanor. He was condemned to rolling a boulder up a hill every day, and it would never make it. I actually first learned of your Sisyphean endeavor through your collaboration with the Thrilling Adventure Hour, though it took me quite some time, evidently, to listen to it myself.

Now that I finally have, I love it. I'm definitely glad I did. As I write this, I'm listening to the end of season three, and I'll say that listening to three years' worth of suffering in such a short time is incredibly bizarre, and I can only imagine what awaits me in a hearing the already condensed season four i'd like to thank you hardly for the hours upon hours of enjoyment laughter and ruminations on movies i have no intention of watching that your body of work has provided in addition to supplying the source material for a

very strange conversation with my dad we drove past a Blaze Pizza, one of the few in Canada. It's in Canada? Fuck. When I was about halfway into season three and I let out an involuntary snort of laughter, which I then had to explain with both the summation of the podcast and your campaign to get Blaze Pizza to hashtag paytheboys. To make that anecdote slightly more interesting,

we were driving in a car once owned by Kim Cattrall. How about that? No, I'm not making that up. It's right there on the registration. My dad bought this car from a man who was its second owner and the first owner was no less than Samantha herself. Considering it's a 2005 car,

it's been quite a while since she owned it. But it's a fun piece of trivia nonetheless. I can agree with that. Can I just quickly say, I struggle to consider anything within the 2000s as a while ago yeah i know 2005 is 16 years ago this cook day but this this author seems to have no trouble with considering they don't have the problem that we have pathetic really we are yeah damning um i think you for taking the time to read this long message i'd like to listen

to the remaining episodes pretty quickly but it might be a while before i hear this read out should i make it onto a friend zone hopefully it'll be a nice surprise for me in the future when i uh catch up and start listening to overlooked and and Undercooked, feel free to say my name or not as you see fit. Audrey Mayo, they, them pronouns. I love that. Thank you so much, Audrey. And I love the idea of people using the friend zone as a time capsule. Yes.

In which they can sort of address their future selves or former selves and just check in. So hopefully, Audrey, whenever, wherever you're listening to this, life is good for you. Whenever audrey mayo is forever shit how about i'll be here and i'll be there jennifer lopez shakira 2020 super bowl halftime show did you watch it no i still haven't seen it everyone's fucking raving about it feet of dance to sing and dance simultaneously is incredible did you watch it live were you like at a super bowl party or something no i just get i had to work i had to work i watched it the next morning by myself because you're an nfl guy right i am i'm falling a little bit out of love with the nfl i still sort of because i as a

you were like i can't believe you're just disrespecting the flag like that so you just jumped out of the pool yeah colin knows what he did no truth be told it's it's a sport i would like to disengage with for political and health reasons but i play fantasy football with an old group of friends and the sort of the camaraderie that creates is it it's a bond that holds a lot of people who i care about together in a way that if i was to remove myself from that situation uh the the connections would you know it's sort of you're there for the frames i'm there for the friends yeah uh but i what i did i watched the super bowl on it it's very boring on a time delay

i watched the next morning It's a great show. Watching Jennifer Lopez and Shakira, it was incredible. Let's make the story exciting. Let's put some hot sauce on it. Were you in your underwear? Were you wearing pants? When I watched the Super Bowl show, I was just in my underpants. I was hunched over a cup of java.

Tell me about the underpants. They are due to be thrown out any second now. Are they white? No. Were they white no they're navy tim if you must know with thin like with sort of thinnish green stripes the uniqlo i believe they're a medium i think from having them sent to a laundromat they've shrunk a little bit they're quite tight around me and also i've had them for so long that the fabric around the ass area is becoming thin um and like very rarely do we throw out underpants before like these underpants are sort

of politely asking to be thrown out and it's not until they are literally on their deathbed begging me to throw them out that they will get what they deserve which is to no longer settle my nether regions. My God, if me undies were sponsoring us, this would have been the fucking perfect lead-in,

huh? Pay the fucking fund the fellas, pay the boys. Come on, me undies, give it up. Yeah. Hey, guys.

So happy to hear you. This is from Carl O'Callaghan, who we actually read something out from in the previous Friend Zone. So this is the value of doing the Facebook inbox is we're responding to correspondence in real time somewhat you'll remember more as i continue okay hey guys so happy to hear you read it out on the friend zone

props to go forgetting my last name right that silent g always trips people up you kind of left it vague but for more info the film so remember this was someone who was recommending a film that we watch as a one-off podcast that heavily donates some money um to to a charity or to us for watching this film and they left it quite intriguing oh yeah that's right they didn't give us any deets and we were sort of speculating so you kind of left it vague but for more info the film is 25th reich and there's a sweet runtime of only 80 minutes. I don't want to mention which scene. It might ruin it, but you'll know it when you see it.

25th Reich has come up on the Patreon Deciders Club. Recently? Yeah. In fact, it was in the polls this most recent one. It lost out to the Emoji movie. Carl is probably inside the Deciders Club. I did kind of get you rather short and curly, so I'm going to send you

boys 20 pounds regardless. And then I'll do another 20 pounds if you do decide to watch the film. P.S. Nice reversal on my unintentional power move. Not answering yes or no

took all the intrigue away from me, and now you guys hold it. Well played. Thank you, Carl, for the challenge and acknowledging our ability to rise to it.

I suppose the 25th Reich might be on the slate at some point. This is probably a pretty good time to talk about the Patreon and the Deciders Club because after this we are actually about to embark on... We're going to dive in to another movie. We're going to watch the Emoji Movie. Here's how it works. Patreon is a platform like Kickstarter but not because we didn't invent anything. Yes. is a platform like kickstarter but not because we didn't invent anything yes so you're there to

support us brave boys um who keep hitting ourselves in the nuts with cinema and as a reward if you're giving a dollar you'll get some things every now and then but mainly it's just like you are part of the bloody worst idea army we respect the hell out of that and you if you're giving five dollars you get access to basically all of the bonus content and we're trying to put more stuff on there so um the the main sort of regular normal thing that comes out is the deciders club episodes which is as a member of the designers club you would get to their one-off one-off watches of things if you're in the ten dollar bracket you're in the deciders club and that means you get to decide what movies we're going to

watch. You get to vote on it as a collector. And then also, thanks to the incredible mountain of technological kit and ability that Tim has, we've started releasing exclusive video content. Yes. When we released My Week With Cats, the episodes came out on the Deciders Club almost a

week earlier. Yeah, yeah. You'll always get stuff earlier and ad-free on Patreon as well. And we've got a few other sort of exciting small morsels to look forward to. Link in the bio, biatch. That's right. I'll put some things in notes, you know, to direct you there if you want to help support. You might say hashtag pay the boys. You might.

Or fund the fellas. We're probably running out of time Have you got one more? Yeah it says trapped in a cult in the subject line So he's got me on the hook Sounds important Oliver Wright, Stair Timber and Guy Guy I hope you are both well I've just returned from the Edinburgh Fringe

Where I managed to see Guy's show Alice Sneddon's show And Snort, your improv show They were all fantastic And learning that you would both be in London soon, I quickly bought tickets to your live show here. As I was frantically punching in my credit card numbers, a worrying thought came into my head.

Am I in a cult? The evidence is rather compelling. A couple of years ago, I'd never even heard of you. Then one day, a friend recommended that I start listening to your free podcast, The Worst Idea of All Time. Now, after many, many hours of listening to you, I am handing over my hard-earned cash to you and your NZ Comedian buddies. The similarity to other cults, mainly Scientology, are many.

Tim Batt, David Miskovich, the evil man pulling the strings at the head of the organization. Guy Montgomery, Tom Cruise, the friendly face of the organization who's used as plausible deniability with the feds. Xenu, Coffee Guy, the all-powerful deity who can travel across space and time. Can I ask you, are you running a cult? Am I allowed to remain in contact with my friends and family

if they don't accept the worst idea of all time into their lives? Looking forward to seeing you in London. Say my name, Oliver. Hey, Oliver. Look, I'll say this, man. We would never want to take anyone away from their friends and family. And truth be told, if you really want, Tim and I are more than willing to run a free personality test to sort of just verify where you sit amongst your immediate community.

Where you are in the journey. And with us. It's also, I think you're kind of looking at this the wrong way, Oliver. It's not that we want to take your friends and family away from you. It's that, you know, we've got a great thing going here and we just think it's really important that everyone get involved yeah so we kind of need you to to help us out get them that's right so it's in the tree house if you want a little bit of information it's called the oxford capacity analysis and it's sort of just a list of questions uh which help gauge sort of you know what your personality is and it's it's all for free. Very above board.

Yeah. Nothing to worry about. Highly certified. It's all, it's cool, man. It's groovy stuff. Um,

so thank you so much for that. And thanks for coming to the show. Thank you for supporting. I have the boys. Yep. Yep. Uh, you've got one more to do.

I just was going to, um, I thought you were wrapping up the episode, but you weren't, you were wrapping up your comments to Oliver. I't. You were wrapping up your comments to Oliver. You're going to read one more? No, all I wanted to do is apologize briefly to Audrey, who immediately gave me their pronouns,

and then I immediately ignored it. So I'm sorry about that. Ah, Tim, good on you for apologizing. And Audrey, thanks again for your correspondence. Thanks to everyone for their correspondence. And I just want to say to Tyler Who reached out to us on Twitter saying The threatening Tyler

Acknowledge our correspondence We're acknowledging your existence Your correspondence is in the queue Nah man come on He was very threatening on Twitter And I think I told him I would We would get it done Which just goes to show

Violence does play So Tyler wrote I messaged you guys on December 4th, 2015 about how I feel like and wonder if others feel like your best friend. So this is a brutal thing for us to not read out. I'll read out the correspondence from 2015 because it's quite sweet. Do people tell you guys that they feel that they are your best friends? After hours of listening to your conversations, I can't help but feel that way.

Plus it so mirrors the type of conversations my friends and I have. It seems so easy to feel this way. Anyways, keep up the good work. Your podcast is all that keeps me sane while I'm at work. And then either you or I responded, I think, at the time. And then I was – we need to get back to responding, I think, to Facebook messages. You might be right. And then this person wrote,

I missed you guys on December 4th, 2015, about how I feel, like, and wonder if others felt like your best friend. Just under two months later, you guys put out the first Friend Zone on February 3rd, 2016. Just wanted to say, you're welcome for me planting the seed that made Friend Zone episodes. I basically inceptioned you both. Wishing you guys all the best still after all these years your bff tyler tyler you are responsible but i'd just like to say how the

tone metamorphosized because the message that i received on twitter from tyler was um fuck tim bat for not checking worst idea facebook messages and then he replied to himself i'm presuming tyler's a guy it's urgently friendzone related. Sent from Tyler M. Vincent, say my motherfucking name. Well, Tyler M. Vincent, there you fucking have it. To everyone listening, I'd like to say thank you. Look after yourselves and one another. To you, Tim, reputable piece of shit who has filthy underpants at every turn

at this change in your life. Nah, I'm all good. I wish you and your undies only the best. This episode brought to you by me, undies. Not really. It would be good though. It would be good though. If anyone knows, you know, get them involved. Get them in the treehouse too.

Yeah. Head along to patreon.com forward slash T-W-I-O-A-T if you wanted to get involved in that hot mess. Link in the episode notes here. And now Guy and I are going to watch The Emoji Movie. Fare thee well. Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy.

It's the friend zone. We're going to have a good time. It's the friend zone with tim and guy because making friends is the best idea of all time friend zone