The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Ninety One

Episode Date: November 30, 2019

Just call us Staind cause... It's been a while! The fellaz are reconnecting over a Thanksgiving Day cocoa and letters from the beautiful fans. Monty has picked up a book of life advice from a man named Phillip. Emails from June, Facebook messages from June. What a time portal! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately borderlands now playing well it's the friend zone with tim and guy come to the friend zoneue, but accordingly very exciting friend zone with your friends Guy and Tim. with your friends Guy and Tim. We're pals everybody. That's the key to this podcast. Most podcasts pits people against

each other. Their worst enemies, their nemeses getting on a mic and doing battle. But Guy and I just want to hang out with you, our pals. And each other. It's been a while. It's been a minute. It is late November here in the United states of america uh fall has well

and truly become winter the leaves i'm watching as they blow from the tree every morning until uh the tree outside my window will be left naked you know dancing with the wind totally exposed um it's 2 37 p.m on a thursday i'm wearing track pants and a long sleeve top i'm lying on my bed i've got facebook the worst idea of all time message box open in front of me and i'm just so grateful for your company tim and for the company of our friends. How are you doing? How's your life? It's good to talk to you, Guy, because we've been out of each other's loops for a little while.

It's made me very sad. I've missed you, buddy, but I'm doing good. I've missed you too. When you were describing the tree outside nakedly dancing, I threw my hands up in the air like lisa simpson in that episode where she drinks the river water and becomes the lizard queen um because i am pretty much naked at this point as well i'm just wearing my uh how do you translate from new zealand grandees my underwear um for it is quite warm in the studio it is uh early in the morning

uh and it's summer in this hemisphere so well actually it's a few days shy of summer but things are heating up oh man it's nice that is nice happy for you i'll be back by christmas um oh man i tell you what we're gonna get up to some trouble you and me here's hoping i actually i haven't said this but i also have in front of me i just gotta make sure my levels are good because i've i've gone handless on the mic while i have picked up this book that i found on the street the other day and it's in front of me and it's pretty unconventional to kick off a friend zone with something like this but it's um based on the new york times bestseller, Life Strategies. It's by an author named Philip C. McGraw, PhD. And it's called The Life Strategies Workbook.

Wait a minute, that's a familiar name. Exercises and self-tests to help you change your life. A little about the author. Philip C. McGraw, PhD,ds worked in the field of human behavior and strategic life planning for over 20 years he's the co-founder and president of courtroom sciences incorporated the nation's leading trial consulting firm and has been associated with some of the highest profile litigation cases in the country including the highly publicized mad cow suit a cutting edge psychologist he appears regularly as an expert on the oprah winfrey show he's married and lives in dallas

texas so yeah would this doctorate this uh this phd of human behavior and psychology be known by any other name no it seems to me he's just known as philip c mcgraw phd okay um gotcha but share some wisdom from this dr phil if i may sort of abbreviate and casual up his name yeah i mean if you want to coin a phrase it seems pretty informal but by all means laugh floor number one you either get it or you don't your strategy become one of those who get it break the code of human nature and find out what makes people tick learn why you and other people do what they do and don't do what they don't what what seems to be the problem here what the fuck kind of advice from a man posing as a psychologist is this hey sort your shit out dude oh you're depressed have you tried not being sad well would that work for you what a fucking absolute crock of shit.

Dr. Phil, you continue to blow my mind in how successful and shitty you are simultaneously. You know, one man's trash is another man's treasure. And that book retailed for $17.99 at one point, yet I got it for $3.99. That's the economy for you. I'm going to read a message from our friends because I desperately want to get out of this Dr. Phil zone We're in the friend zone, don't sully it up By enemies like Dr. Phil

I want you to be excited about your life Shiver me timbers and put on that Argyle sweater vest Because it's still oddly cool in Portland at the moment. I will hasten to add this message was sent. Oh, boy. We really, this is, we've dropped the ball. The 20th of June. I have been meaning.

The height of summer. Yeah. I have been meaning to write you guys via the friend zone for a long time. We've been meaning to read it. And now that I have tickets to see you in portland well it seemed like the right time hey guy i'm just gonna pause it seems like a fucking lifetime ago that we did that live show in portland day it really does you got i mean we both got blasted that night but you got especially blasted i greened the fuck out i was you know to borrow a phrase from toy story i

was all full of cake and ice cream. I got a little excited. This is a state where weed has been recreationally legal for some time, and I fully embrace the local culture, coupled with that, the local brewed beers as well. And I tell you what, it made for a heady mix inside this 65kg man. 5kg man we met once before in los angeles at the what i then thought and was gladly wrong was the last worst idea of all-time recording you may remember my red red button shirt which paled in comparison to your vibrant attire at the show and by the fact that when you guys left after we took a photo together taken by my my girlfriend, I heard Tim say, that was efficient.

Who am I? Of course, on the way out, my girlfriend and I argued about whether it was her camera work or my lack of need to impose myself upon you with needless discussion that was the efficient part of that experience on your end. If you could, please clear this up. It would bring me closer to my worst idea of all-time journey side note the acronym for this podcast read aloud almost sounds like twat has that been discovered anywho since i had since then i was dumped jobless and a bit despondent so i decided it was time to move on much like the guy who left home to pursue new worlds i traveled away

from home and on to adventure. So here I am in Portland, ready to see the good boys make good jokes about a bad movie once again. I'm still getting settled, so hopefully my ticket purchase and those of any friends I bring can be considered payment to YouTube, but I promise to send you guys some bucks

once I'm on top of my shit. When you're in town, if you have time swinging by PBJ's's swing by pbj's grilled oh that's a place okay uh swing by pbj's grilled and i'll throw some crazy sandwiches your way in the meantime until then be good i'll see you on the 26th please say my name because i love to hear it christopher morris i would like to clear that up for you Christopher I assume with full confidence that I was talking about your at the time girlfriend's camera skills

I would never describe someone not talking to me as efficient because that seems fucking ruthless well I I don't remember the the specific circumstance but I'm glad for the memory I'm glad for Tim's memory to clarify I'm glad for the memory.

I'm glad for Tim's memory to clarify. I'm glad for you, Christopher. And honestly, I don't know what it was like to listen to, but diving back into June 2019 was a beautiful little pocket of time. The excitement of the tour, knocking on the door. So thank you for that correspondence

sorry it took so long to get to i hope life's good as well man yeah nice i got one here from october 2019 cool hi tim hi guy love your work loving the comeback of overlooked and undercooked i recently took a flight from london to new york and stuck on a friend zone to listen to while i slept for a while little did i know i was about to trip out entirely as when i started to drift off i started to have incredibly vivid dreams initially it was just that when i had a play on my phone your voices started to come out of the overhead speakers so i paused to check my headphones were in, obviously mortified.

Once I plugged them back in and pressed play again, imagine my shock, where not only was the audio playing out of the speakers, but the boys themselves were standing in the aisles with mics in hands and hyping up the crowd. I was so excited to have Timbo coming down my side of the plane that I moved in my seat a bit, which let my phone fall to the floor

and rip my headphones out, jolting me awake. It took me a moment to realize that it had all been a dream and not being able to do anything about it and claim that dream back, I sat back in my chair and let the boredom of my ordinary flight roll in.

Anyway, thanks for always being there for me on Long Journey's Good Dulcet Tones, Tom XXX. That's the coolest shit ever. For always being there for me on long journeys, good dulcet tones, Tom. X, X, X. That's the coolest shit ever. Yeah, it's an- We're dream visitors. It's an incredibly vivid dream. Hell yeah.

To think that we were on the planet. I love those kind of, what are they called? Lucid dreams, where you sort of marry up your real world situation with just a little bit of fantasy um they make it seem more real and i love that we were there with you man we should do a show on a plane guy rig it up through the um what are they called the tannoy how old am i 100 you know the the announcement system i like tannoy cool um you want to say anything to our dreamy man in the plane no thanks that was really fun thanks tom jonathan fry right oh i hope he wants his name uh no idea if this is the right place to send mail to the frosty fellas but here we are this is um a

message sent on the 23rd of june you probably get this a lot, but your refits are currently a huge lifeline for me while I try to keep my head up at a really awful pot washing job. Your stamina is an inspiration. Keep slogging on. Despite having listened... Go on. That honestly makes me feel good

and like there's value that someone who's like getting through their shift as an underwater ceramic technician you know cleaning pots looks to us as a bastion of hope and like a reference point for stamina i find it heartening but to me yeah you know it's just a beautiful little reminder that for how much we hate it and ask ourselves why we do it there is value if you look hard enough to be extracted from our body of work I love it Guy

it feels like that really hit you that one it had emotional impact on Guy a real bullseye yeah it did there's more message too yeah great despite having listened to you talk about

Sex and the City franchise for nearly 100 episodes at this point I realised last night that I can't even name all the gals off the top of my head Carrie's the main one having listened to you talk about Sex and the City franchise for nearly 100 episodes at this point, I realized last night that I can't even name all the gals off the top of my head. Carrie's the main one. Charlotte is another one. There's another one who loves to fuck. Is she called Susanna?

I wish I was exaggerating. Impressed at how you can get so much material out of such a clearly empty cinematic framework. Also, I gotta know. In in the opening clip someone's saying we just have a good rhythm together i always hear some kind of knocking sound in the background what the hell is that is it big's tomato chopping content uh continuity triumph or have i just gone bad mad fuck i'm really losing the plot here. With sympathy, respect, and love, John. Kiss. I love that you called it, I mean, I guess we might have done it in the season,

but calling anything a continuity triumph. We've set the world's lowest bars for these films to accidentally trip over and we celebrate their success. Absolutely. What's that that he held the knife in the same hand in two different shots continuity win it's the sound that he's referring to and i we've talked about it a lot i know how the number of cuts are synced up with the slices oh i was obsessed with it uh but it's just nice to hear it back i really enjoyed that correspondence the audio that you're thinking of is not big's knife though it's um it's pulled from a clip that's sex in the city adjacent but not of the universe where kim cattrall is showing a camera

crew around her house with her maybe still but definitely at the time husband and uh he plays sort of free jazz on a double bass while she scats poetry and so the rhythm that they get together is when they are in flow together they get into a good zone and the knocking noise i guess is maybe him banging on the the wood of the instrument or something else but it's like it's it's part of the audio from that clip i might have added so i actually this is so bad that i can't remember but i um there might be some background music that i've added as well it's been a little while since i listened to it and off the top of my head this early in the morning i can't remember but um yeah anyway great bit of correspondence fabulous today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer

ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately borderlands now playing uh this one this one here came in in october as well late october it reads as follows holy fuck there's a season four you mad boys did gone done do it you really did you actually did it i don't know whether to applaud or slap you both i'm on dercom four at the end of season three and finally scrolled ahead on the playlist i've had to endure hours of promises there would not be more despite how much i enjoyed it i could sense you guys were not having the best time to find that there is a season four and much more than that so that's

the whole message but it's a very uh i i'm gonna i've read it but i'll write back as well it's a very excited message it It's very sweet. The incredulity is dripping off the page there, isn't it? Yeah. It's, it's just great that, um, uh,

like to, to, for someone to, to get to enjoy it in that way where it's like, cause to me, even though it's pain that we've lived through and experienced in terms of actually recording the season, you know, it's like when you pay for flights on a holiday by the time you're on the holiday you're like oh this is you know you're flying out this yeah i can't believe we've got these free

flights yeah because you're like you're in a different you're in a different zone from the the point at which you had to separate yourself from money to buy them so uh this just feels like a very clean piece of enjoyment to me because i'm so divorced from the pain of doing season four i'm happy for it to just arrive fully formed on someone's podcast listening app this is it let's let's just hit pause on the listener correspondence for one moment monty because i think this is quite a rare zone where we um uh have had a little bit of a break between drinks at the moment what is coming out in people's feed is overlooked and undercooked season two which we recorded uh well the first half of it a long time ago and the second half of it a few months ago um we haven't been doing the worst idea uh episodes for a little while because the the

season ended thank god um so we've actually got a little bit of distance from it and recently like i don't know there's just been a lot of conversations where i've been meeting new people recently um i was at my wife's work do last night and people were sort of like you know what do you do and the conversation drifts into the podcast and who fucking would have thought that this weird vehicle for us to hang out it is it is like a really major um pillar of my life now like a lot of stuff has come from it and a lot of stuff has i've done for it and we've traveled together um all across the world now and we've just we've recorded so much stuff and put it into the world and accumulated

uh imagine if you will the number of listener hours we have so like the number of hours added together of all the people who have listened for all hours they've listened to us talk that is such a amazingly cool thing off the back of this fucking weird silly idea we had one afternoon in 2014 oh absolutely it's unreal um it's pretty cool yeah and it is the space the space between you know i feel like because we're in between projects, it is a nice time to enjoy the freedom of not being married to something life-destroying and also to reflect and say, hey, not only did we build something, but people have enjoyed it. Yeah, it's a special thing. So I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate that. Especially because we're recording this on Thanksgiving Day,

so it feels apt. Which is also, of course, Death Blart Day. The day that our annual eternal podcast till death do us blart gets released onto the internet with the McElroys. So special. I thought it was a doozy. You really put yourself out thereys. Yeah. So special. I thought it was a doozy. You really put yourself out there for this episode.

I did. Little teaser. I watched Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 in VR on LSD. It was a hell of a time. I've got to tell you, Tim, I've sneakily crept forward to the next piece of correspondence in the Worst Idea mailbag at our Facebook page. And by the way, by the end of this friend zone, I will have entirely caught up to all of it.

So if you're not emailing... I've got so many emails. Yeah, yeah. But if you are looking to correspond and you don't want to do it via email, please do keep sending messages to the Worst Idea of All Time page on Facebook because in our own slow and

fucked up way we do get through them and we do love hearing from you uh and no better example i can think of than this it's just a photo there are no words sent first of november 2019 by someone who has not requested whether their name is to be mentioned or not, so I'm just going to call them Elliot, which is their first name. It's a photo of Elliot, and he's overlaid it with the text, Last night in niche Halloween costumes. The worst idea of all time's sole libertarian listener. We have a man in a black trench coat carrying a samurai sword in his right hand, wearing a fedora, a t-shirt that I can't make out, a black slogan t-shirt. body length anime pillow of uh an anime some sort of uh an anime character who is a woman and clasped in fingers two fingers in front of it a copy of ayn rand's book the fountainhead

it is uh a sight to behold it is a triumph of niche niche Halloween costumery. That is a fantastic get up. I know. And so I would say in the world, there are probably like overall in the entire world, people who would be able to look at the component parts of that costume and know what it is. I'd say there are maybe 10 people. Yep.

Including both of us and Elliot. Yes. seven others. So then the likelihood of any of those people, like what a nightmare of a costume. The likelihood of any of those people being in the same town or place as Elliot. Like this is, you've set yourself up for. There's so many red herrings to it as well

because they're like, okay, okay, okay. Hat and trench coat thing. Is he a detective? Is he a flasher? He's got a fucking samurai sword, which is interesting. He's wielding iron rand. Fuck. It's political.

Fountain head. It's a book i've actually read and until the end when it becomes uh incredibly intense where einrun just starts yelling about what she thinks uh i've enjoyed i don't know if it's not a done thing to say but i enjoyed the book she's a good novelist apparently i haven't read her work you know, shouldn't get famous for nothing. Ain't that the truth? So, yeah, that's what I wanted to say. I wanted to describe that photo to you, and that is the last piece of live correspondence I have here at the Facebook page.

Amazing. Well, in that case, I'll just read one more email, and then maybe we will put a button on this one. Whitney writes, one more email and then maybe we will put a button on this one whitney writes oh well i've said the first name now hey buds long time first time i'm coming to the show tomorrow night on my actual birthday once again guy 23rd of june this one gonna rock a terrible fake flower in my hair an homage to our patron saint of coloring coloring so one of those has a u and one of them doesn't outside the lines madame bradshaw preston see you there summertime xow and then there's a follow-up email well i guess i had a bit too

much from a pre-birthday party as i don't know what my reasoning was in sending the below to alert everyone to my presence horrifying to announce my birthday worse somehow probably meant to write something nice about enjoying the podcast lo these many years and how good slash nice you boys are but it seems I lost the plot anyway later that's cool

Whitney I like the conversational tone of these messages it's cool it is cool and uh as though we haven't showered everyone involved in the podcast and the friend zone with enough glory already in this episode thank you for coming to the show thank you for your email and happy birthday there and happy birthday which from memory is um either on or very close to the equinox yeah it's also really close to june 24 um i don't have a lot else to say have you got anything that you would like

to say tim for reference everyone we've just recorded a episode of uh the patreon pals podcast which is available at patreon.com slash t-w-i-o-a-t for those who give us five dollars a month or more to contribute to our never-ending journey and punching ourselves in the balls through cinema um so we're we might be running out of gas a little bit now but monty this is the first time that i've had the pleasure of talking to you in a little while like at some sort of length. And can I just say, it reminds me of why I like you so much. I've missed you, buddy. It's good to talk to my friend.

And I'm so excited about your triumphant return to the homeland. Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to it too, man. It's been really nice catching up with you. I love you. I love Zoe. I love Rufus. I hope you guys have a wonderful day there in

altar it's um 3 p.m here i think the sun's going down in an hour and a half so i'm gonna go and try and get some of that sweet sweet vitamin d before that happens make sure you get some pumpkin spiced latte as well for this is the season absolutely i'll um i'll catch you soon and for right now i would like to give a big ups to an episode which just dropped today hopefully i get this friend zone out today and that is our um eternal podcast i mentioned earlier till death do us blart um i don't know if i'm supposed to put the episode on our stream is that normally what we do in previous years but if not it's uh you know it's in all the places you can get podcasts just search for um till death do us blart our annual holiday podcast

with the mcelroy brothers enjoying the fruits of kevin james labor well it's the friend zone with tim and guy come to the friend zone and have a good time yes it's the friend zone with tim and guy because making friends is the best idea of all time today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody runs ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately Borderlands now playing