The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Ninety Six

Episode Date: March 28, 2020

Tim and Guy have been separated by world events but they are together FOR YOU. Guy is trying to outrun his friend, Tim has created a new streaming webshow (Facebook.com/ThisIsHappeningShow). Some great support for the CATS (2019) mini series, Ph.D holders get in touch with the fellaz and we also get the feline goss from a cinema-worker. We also hear a totally heart-warming letter from a new mum. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. It's the friend zone. We're gonna have a good time It's the friend zone With Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time Friend zone And welcome to the friend zone That's right. It's a pretty good time for one of these, I think. An opportunity for myself, Guy Montgomery, and my beloved friend Tim Batt to check in on one another. And also with the wider world.

But first things first, Tim. How the bloody hell are ya? I'm good, man so uh we are recording this at the end of march like i'll put it out today but you know if you're listening later so the world is going through some changes by which i mean everyone is trapped in their houses right now in new zealand and in a lot of other places around the world as well i was so glad to get my boy guy montgomery back because then we could do podcasts in the same room but the universe has intervened and in a lot of other places around the world as well. I was so glad to get my boy Guy Montgomery back because then we could do podcasts in the same room. But the universe has intervened,

but it's okay because we've got technology, so we shall never be apart. That's right. It's funny that you chose to do the ch-ch-ch-changes because it reminded me, I was thinking of this the other day, like remember how demonstrably upset and petulant the world was

when old and sick famous people kept dying? And that was sort of the unifying rally cry. Like, FU 2016. And it wasn't even all of them. There was like, I don't know, four or five people died. And everyone went up in arms like, this is the worst year that's ever happened in human history. People really took it to heart.

And so my hope is that all of those people who were struggling with 2016 did not live to see 2020 because I feel they simply would not know what to do with themselves. No, that's quite right. Quite right. How have you been going, Monty? I've been good, man. So just for context, it's officially the second day of the lockdown here in New Zealand, but it feels like it's been going a bit longer because I think everyone started self-isolating and social distancing, you know, before.

And, um, honestly, morale is pretty high. I've got a great little, uh, you know, I'm living with some fantastic people. No complaints. We've got some lovely chilled carbonated beverages in the fridge. We've got a mountain of pasta to cook and eat. I've been running. I'm actually doing a running race with my friend Ken Griffin, who's self-isolating up north uh where we own a we're in a race to see

who can get to 100 kilometers first how how far what are you up to well we started yesterday so currently i'm at uh 7.41 kilometers and after i submitted my run he ran 7.87 kilometers i want a piece of this action well it's it's a pretty exciting race you're a day behind and the the other there are other sort of i don't know whether i want to bet on it or join in but i i want some sort of involvement i can bet on it so i'll tell you all the, and then you can decide who you want to put your money on. Pretty much, you're only allowed to do a run that is longer than 10 kilometers once. And if we both cross the 100-kilometer threshold on the same day,

it comes to a count back on average pace per kilometer. Of the total? Yeah. So for reference, yesterday I ran my 7.41 kilometers in 4 minutes and 56 seconds. Holy smokes, that's fast. No, not the whole distance, sorry. At an average pace of 4 minutes.

No, your pace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so quick. Well, Ken ran his at an average pace of 4 minutes and 43 seconds per kilometer. What the hell? Are you guys serious? Deadly. That's so quick.

what the hell are you guys serious deadly so quick um and the the winner gets a sports jersey of their choosing bought by the loser so those are the stakes i think i've laid everything out for you pretty clearly um and yep pick your fighter i suppose either now or towards the end of the friend zone just at a time of your choosing. I guess I need someone else to bet with, bet against. Yeah. Or else I'm just putting $50 on a table and then taking $50 off a table. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. That's sort of, I guess, what betting has come to in these times.

That's cool, though, man. It's good to have a challenge. It's good to stay physical. Absolutely. that's cool though man it's good to have a challenge good to stay physical absolutely um oh so for some other context about stuff that's been going on uh we guy and i have been making this streaming internet show called happening uh which has done two episodes yeah i'm planning out the third one which might happen today i think and uh it's been real groovy it's sort of on the premise that people need a bit of a distraction

at the moment take their mind off things so we're trying to put the art in party and just get a whole bunch of our artist and comedian friends to chuck content in and i've rigged up a little sort of miniature tv studio in my garage um and it's all it's all happening it's good fun yeah it's really cool um i can't even as a someone who's contributed to the two episodes i can't recommend watching it enough i had a great time watching episode two and occasionally beaming in uh from the bath and uh it's it's fantastic to see sort of the realization of your technical ability and creative vision, Tim. So my sincere congratulations once more for that.

You can find it on Twitter at happening underscore show and on Facebook at happening or something? If you go facebook.com slash thisishappeningshow. And the YouTube channel has the previous two episodes on it it's um it's cool it's cool watching you do that i was really it's so it's so funny watching you sort of not deliberately but just getting like stoned right to the edge of your technical ability to navigate the system you've built there's so much comedy just in watching you figure it out on the fly and then also in the segments of course but um

do you know that's what that's what a lot of people have been saying that it's like the most entertaining bit is just seeing me absolutely struggle because i'm completely by myself operating like three computers a bunch of cameras a sound test there's a lot of shit going on and uh frequently it doesn't go well um there's been a lot of uh guests who have brought on to the show who have been muted uh and you get a one one direction conversation where it's just my half beaming out to the internet where it's it's kind of important to hear what the other person's saying um so if i do a show today which i think i will that'll be interesting because uh generally what's happened in the first two episodes is my beautiful wife zoe will come down because

she's watched uh the stream live which is very nice and she goes tim no one can um hear the the skype call yeah and then i'll flick a switch and go fuck she's like your de facto producer but uh if you haven't checked that out yet well worth checking out um really really yeah just there's a lot of good energy on that show a lot of good energy a lot of goodwill a lot of love a lot of elbow grease and quite a lot of a flustered tim bat battling against self-created challenges which is a delight honestly one of the funniest running bits i've seen all year. Now, in the meantime,

this is going to be quite a weird time jump because when we dig into the mailbag for the friend zone here, we're going to travel back to a world that the current one doesn't resemble at all. Yep. It'll be fun. Certainly.

A walk through time. Do you want to lead it off tim i've got uh correspondence as recently as early february here on the facebook and i imagine you're still in the depths of 2019 i think i'm feb as well maybe i opened um a too recent one but i've got a sixth of feb here a seven dollar donation from jim who simply writes, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Ah, well, that is a delightful piece of correspondence. That's the message. I'm actually also in the world of cats right now,

which this one reads, Hi, boys. My name is Nicky, and I work at a movie. This is the 10th of February 2020, by the way. My name is Nicky, and I work at a movie. This is the 10th of February 2020, by the way. My name is Nicky, and I work at a movie theater here in the States. I wanted to shed some light on the whole Cats fiasco. So theaters received the improved Cats film.

Sorry. So theaters received the improved Cats film file less than 48 hours after it premiered. We started showing it the Thursday night, and then we got an email two days later stating, starting that Sunday, to use the new file. Yes, the new file looks terrible. I also questioned if I was watching the new or old file. We only had it at our theater for less than a month. We did have one guest call and was upset that we were no longer showing it.

I do wish the theater I'd worked at had some cinemas in New Zealand. Wow. Thanks, Nicky. not by heart thanks and you can say my name nikki wow thanks nikki i haven't listened to the worst scripted event of all time maybe since it came out do you know it'd be a lovely walk down memory lane can you refresh everyone's memory guy on what that is yeah well i i'm fairly certain i haven't listened to that ever but um it was a crossover podcast we released with Ben's Akron Blacker from the Thrilling Adventure Hour where we wrote out... It was the Work Juice players. That was the sort of outfit they were representing and including.

They set us up with them. So we wrote out the Grown Ups 2 script from memory and including director's notes, and we're given this sort of a real, a star-laden cast to perform our script with us reading the director's notes live in Los Angeles. And this would be, what, two or three years ago? More. Four?

Yeah, I reckon maybe four or five. Oh my goodness. I'm actually scrolling back through the internet to try and find the cast list for everyone. It was Busy Phillips played Adam Sandler. That's right. We had Melanie Linsky. Yeah.

I can't remember who she is. She played a whole bunch of people. Melanie Linsky, Jason Ritter, Baron Vaughan, Michael McMillionaire, Kate Micucci from Garfunkel and Oates. It was genuinely insane. Humphrey Kerr. And anyway, it's well worth a visit. If you want to hear just absolute hysteria while we trudge

through you know forcing these phenomenal comedians and actors reading our version of the grown-ups two script a script that i feel like we went on the record as saying shouldn't have been out there in the first place um correct yeah if he was pft included on that he was he was a day we either didn't have access to him or he was not available. Sure. That's okay. He's been on a couple of episodes. It's all good stuff. It's all sitting there for you.

In fact, here's what I'm going to commit to do. And I'm going to write a note because I always threaten to do these things and then I don't do them because I don't write them down. I'm going to write this down. I'm going to find that episode so that you don't have to hunt for it. And we're going to put it at worstideaofalltime.com. That is... Worst scripted event of all time.

I'm going to pop that on probably the front page. And if it's not on the front page, I'm going to create a new page on the website that just says worst scripted event, and you can find it there. I love that. Well, thank you so much to Nikki and for reminding us and to all of the contributors and you can find it there. I love that. Well, thank you so much to Nicky

and for reminding us and to all of the contributors who made that episode a possibility. Absolutely. Really appreciate you. This is a message that comes to us. I'm just emailing myself the note now, Guy, so don't lose it.

Yeah, good on you. From Andrew Forsyth, which is a very familiar name. I'm not sure why. Hey there, Tim Bone and Guy Fyder. I recorded my own rendition of the Friend Zone theme, and I'd be honored if you played it on the Friend Zone. If this makes it to the pod,

please put my full name, Andrew Christopher Forsyth, on the record. Big fan of your work. Someone's got to do what you do, and it's you two. Really good work on Cats, the musical, the movie.

I used to watch the old cats movie at my grandma's house and dance around the place like a cat it was weird but formative thanks for being so strong for all of us uh and then we've got a soundcloud link and i think it's the one that we played at the start of this episode that would make which guy didn't hear and i didn't hear either. But let me just check, because I think we've been playing it for a couple of laps, maybe. Do you mind, Guy, if you just hold fire for one second? I'm just going to play it. Holding fire. Yeah, it's that beautiful barbershop one that is our current theme.

So Andrew Forsythe not only contributed the theme, but he gave us 20 bucks as well on PayPal. How fucking good is that? That's like an old-style radio deal where record company owners would pay the radio stations to play their music. What an incredible deal we just brokered. That's right.

Fuck, life is good sometimes. This one also from the 10th of February 2020. We just broke it. That's right. Fuck, life is good sometimes. Oh, yeah. This one, also from the 10th of February 2020, it reads, Hello, Frosty Felines. We'd love to get your hot take on cats at the 2020 Razzies. Were all the noms deserved? Were there other cats who should have been nominated instead? In summary,

Nominated, Worst Picture. Nominated, Worst Director, Tom Hooper. Nominated, Worst Actress Francesca Haywood That feels harsh Hmm Nominated Worst Supporting Actor

James Corden I feel like I understand that nomination I don't know but I don't artistically agree with it Yeah Nominated Worst Supporting Actress

Judi Dench Yeah I'll co-sign that she wasn't good in this nominated worst supporting actress rebel wilson uh i hated her but i don't know if it was the acting uh nominated worst screen combo any two half feline half human hairballs so i think that's the entire cast yeah meow uh worst screen combo jason derulo and his cgi neutered bulge yep and worst screen having fun with these yeah we took it very seriously it looks like it actually did take out uh worst picture at the razzie's that makes sense i think um worst worst actor

went to john travolta for something called The Fanatic and Trading Paint. What a crazy title. That guy has been turning in some absolute shithouse performances recently, and this is probably a pretty good opportunity for us to maybe familiarize ourselves with them. We haven't spoken about this off mic, but we could revisit John Travolta's recent back catalogue

if we wanted to hey now we're cooking that sounds like something that might be fun for us to do yeah man i think uh there's a lot of podcasts out there that do like there's um uh what is it footsteps in the sandler yeah i think that look at all the sandler movies there's um cage what are some other ones like this oh yeah people do nicholas cage uh some guys did mike the alexi and cam from australia did mike myers um i can't remember what that was called that was fantastic those guys are very funny i want to try and find these so the nick cage one there's one called cage club is that the one you were thinking of possibly whatever the top hit is um yeah yeah just because i would uh hate to miss naming a podcast on our podcast it was called the speaking of which it was called yes you got a shout oh you're gone it was called mike check

by the way with cameron james and alexi toliopoulos uh those guys are fucking funny, so you should get on that. It's a great one, yeah. But we should look into that. And also, while we're talking about cats, while we are talking cats, we have been alluded that the director's commentary is now available, so Tim and I will look forward to pouring over that

and relaying you our thoughts in podcast form. Also, I forgot to mention this up top, and how could I? We got a fucking shout out on conan needs a friend which was very nice oh yeah from that uh fantastic and dastardly producer matt girley and his quiz uh yeah man we had ghouli on the final episode of our um we are your friends season in los angeles and from, we were fucking caned, and he was really putting up with us.

In a sweaty back room at, what was it called? The comic book. Was it Nerd Melt? Nerd Melt, which doesn't exist anymore, I think. That's right. I actually remember I got especially caned, and you were holding it together pretty well, and he was especially holding it together.

But, yeah, huge shout out to matt and to conan who yeah who needs a shout on the party who needs a big shout out of course yeah conan o'brien notoriously underrated and underappreciated comedian uh here is a i've got some lovely short ones carl seen this 25 us dollars and said for grabbing you by the short for grabbing you by the short and curlies carl that is nice dope do you want to blitz through a few other quick ones yeah absolutely um adam 10 buckaroos no message buckaroos no message thanks adam uh this one is oh amy did a confusing thing where she set up a recurring two dollar payment to us on paypal um join the patreon mate i think it might be a better way to do it because then you get some rewards out of that nick writes dear tim and guy huge fan just wondering how is mr big able to write words

in his big book of ideas if he is illiterate looking forward to your clarification keep up the good work best regards nick lidzow great question nick so my understanding of the big book of ideas is it's sort of written in big's version of hieroglyphics a sort of a scratching that only he could decipher uh thankfully we also having spent so much time with him in the book have access to the inner workings of his mind and his wrists and his fingers but yeah i would describe the book as um incomprehensible and inaccessible to anyone who hasn't put in the the hours that we have that's dead right yep i can't improve on that it's kind of a mix between the untrained eye would interpret it as childish drawings and scribbles but someone who's more

familiar with the inner workings of a of a genius mind will recognize it for the brilliance that it is a hundred percent a lot of big plans every what looked like sort of accidental uh scratchings of pen on paper often represent huge swaths of really intense and in depth thought um much like sometimes you'll see a child who's on the on the brink of a mental growth spurt struggling to articulate the particulink of a mental growth spurt, struggling to articulate the particulars of what is running through their head, Mr. Big finds the same challenge in communicating his ideas to the written word. But I guess that's where he has to be grateful for guys like us.

And we have to be grateful to a guy like him. I mean, you know, it's one of the great works. It's a weighty tome, that big old dusty leather-bound book, and I fucking love the thing. Alan has given us a staggering $44.16 US cents. I'm not sure why that exact amount, but I'm going to read too much meaning into it and think on it and meditate on that

number. Try and figure out what that's all about. Can you say it again? 44.16 from Alan Green. 44.16. That's a lot of money. Maybe that's the date that this whole COVID-19 situation will finally blow over. Oh boy.

Here's hoping. Now, I've got a message from trina um she sent an original message on christmas eve uh 2019 which i am going to assume i read out loud it's very long uh let me make some cliff notes dear beloved flash and timberlina um when a friend asked me what helped carry me through through 2019 i was given pause i started the year with postpartum depression and postpartum ocd along with episodes of disassociation i was lucky enough to have the help of a bit of your friends family medical professionals and am now recovering does this sound familiar not to me because I got to admit it doesn't sound familiar to me either and I feel like we'd remember this one absolutely it's um it's Swiss cheese as my brain is okay well I'll continue I'll read the whole thing apologies

if this is the second time I've read it but a large part of what helped me feel human again was the worst idea of all time i started listening when my baby rain was six weeks old in december 2018 an insomniac driven by compulsion to check on the kids on the kid dozens of times an hour one of the few things that kept me company and helped me relax were you too uh uh you know this word but i don't got it melefula melef melefulis crap what is that word can you spell it out m-e-l-l-i-f-l-u-o-u-s melefulis melefulis melefulis it means like really it means like honey in your ears i think i think it's melefulis with that word followed by kiwi voices i started with what was available on spotify and like a lot

of your fans i started listening to season two then three then one then all of the friend zones in between you had such a natural chemistry so willing to yes and each other and you were so fucking funny some of my first postpartum laughs were at you too i found myself uh seized with loss upon finding that the show was over only to find as I listened you were putting out another season, seemingly just for me. Knowing there was new content helped me during some dark days. As I caught up, I realized I could listen to it again. If you're wondering if I talked about you in therapy, that i did if a bunch of nhs uh parent parental i'm saying that wrong mental health professionals listen to your podcast it's because i didn't shut up about it for a year

fuck man this is so touching um i just finished my third re-listen for me revisiting the same content was the source of boundless joy and overwhelming laughter voluntary act of self-care i'm still hearing new jokes or appreciating old favorites in a new way on every re-listen i was delighted to find out that tim loved the name rain we uh cool okay so we have heard from this person before um we picked a gender neutral name for our baby and are using they then pronouns until they get old enough to let us know which pronouns to use i'm back at at work. I'm happy again. I am able to live with the intrusive thoughts that made the early days of motherhood so hard to handle. I feel so much better. And without you guys knowing you were there to go back to, I can't imagine how much more I would have struggled.

I don't know what 2020 will bring. 2020 will bring but uh but i know it'll have at least i'll have at least one more go around on worst idea of all time and in the unlikely scenario that i should ever get tired of it i joined the patreon a few months ago so i have a stash of cold pressed extra virgin tim and guy pure content to dip my toes into when i need a hit of something new thank you both so much i listened to a ton of podcasts but yours is the one that helped me get through the most challenging times of my life i don't know what you plan to do next but i have a budding theory that you guys uh really need it to be both difficult and see the other person struggle and persevere there's a bond in the intimacy of sharing of shared pain and seeing someone at the most vulnerable i bet there's

some writings on this in bdsm research could be something to investigate please feel free to pick a middle name for kid number two much much much love trainer ps this doesn't need to be friend zoned i i'm gonna keep reading and if she wants me to cut it out i will i already know you would happily friend zone me if you have more time and energy i just want to let you know how much i adore your hilarious work and then there's another email guy which is just a couple sentences um from february 19th i just watched 10 minutes of real rob to see what you guys were doing and started crying because it was so terrible i cried real human tears with my real human eyes you poor fucks i love you so much oh my god that's from trina well trina that is a beautiful piece of correspondence i don't quite

understand why it is we uh provide this service of helping people out when they are you know at their lowest ebb but um certainly not what i knowingly set out to make but a very happy byproduct of the idiocy to which we've committed over the years so trina i'm there's no i'm so glad to hear that we've been it's a dream fulfilled i would love to um go out and design something that could be that useful for people but i know that if i went out with that intent there's no way i could pull it off yeah i'm so glad that we accidentally tripped over this thing because guy and i we love this stuff, man. We love letters like that.

Yeah, we love letters like that. This stuff being our product, I... It's different. What a confusing relationship that is. What do you think of our product? Do you think that we are a high-quality product, Tim? No. I wouldn't say...

Well, it depends what quality you're measuring. However you interpret the question. I think no. And I think there's a beauty in that. When I hear high quality, I think i think like you know super high production values a regular release schedule people who know what they're doing probably some sort of corporate structure that looks after the show making sure there's you know regular stuff that goes out and technical glitches are figured out and whatnot but i i that's not what i like to do i don't like big organizations of people

i think anything more than i don't know 60 people is inherently evil take that so i like that your beloved nhs i well that was that was a really sweet piece of correspondence. And hopefully through Happening Show and My Week with Cats and Do More, which is all online now, there's yet more entertainment to get you through a 2020, it seems, that not only you but no one could forecast. So all of our best wishes and thanks for that message. We're sending our love to you, Trina.

We've got a little something here that was written on the 14th of February in 2020 that says, G'day. Guy, before we move on, did you want to throw any suggestions out there for a middle name for the second child? Great question. I think that I'm in a child's bedroom right now recording this. Don't worry. It's all above board. I'm allowed a child's bedroom right now recording this. Don't worry. It's all above board. I'm allowed in here.

And I'm looking at the name of a book that I often read to the child. It's called Uko. And it's about a young fox who has a burning desire to fit in and goes on a bit of a journey and learns a lesson at the end of the book and it's spelled o-o-k-o and i've always thought it's such a cool name and it's also a great name because when the child would be learning to write their name uko is a breeze you got three of the same letter and a k which is just three lines um that's my nomination i mean it's it's really a case of reading what is literally right in front of me but i i do have a soft spot for the name that's brilliant well no obligation

trainer but i i co-signed it i think it's a wonderful um name obviously you do whatever you want it's your child but maybe maybe i'll take it if you don't uco and the book by the way for any parents listening or anyone who's interested, or if Chris Knoth is reading and he's trying to break through that barrier, is by Esme Shapiro. No relation to Ben. G'day, goodest boys, I'm assuming,

because the message of this book runs directly contrary to some of that guy's core beliefs. G'day, good as boys. I always find it fun to hear about the various circumstances in which people listen to your articulate ramblings. I would love to share my own scenario. You boys and the friends are currently joining me mid-tour as I travel Australia with a Star Wars-themed dance and burlesque show called The Empire Strips Back. I play Han Solo. This weekend's performances are in Sydney at the Enmore Theatre.

Jesus, fuck. That's a big theatre. Congratulations. Well, it depends what room you're in. I got the Enmore for the Sydney Comedy Festival too, which isn't happening, but they're going to put me in a broom closet. Yeah, they're not going to put on the Empire Strips Back, a Star Wars themed Duns and Burlesque show in a 70 seat room.

We're talking 1,500 to 2,000 people. You've been fantastic company through many a crowded airport and many a turbulent flight across Australia. When my pay slips start to come through, I'll throw you boys a bone via the Patreon. However, by way of appreciation, I'd love to offer you goodest boys a couple comp tickets

to see the show next time we tour. Not sure if we'll come to New Zealand with the show. However, if Happenstance finds us in the same city, you'd be more than welcome along. The tour is going to the US soon, so go if you're headed back to the States. I'm sure we'll swing by your home city at some point. You beautiful boys are very brave and very bold.

Cheers for the laughs and the relentless positivity in the face of adversity. Nice work. Say my name. Ben. P.S. No need to read this bit out as it may come off as a plug, but I've recently taken over as a creative director of a film and media company.

So if you boys ever find yourself in Sydney, Australia and in need of footage, marketing or direction, hit me right up. Would be happy to help you out anytime. Follow at moose underscore visuals

over on the Insta. P.P.S. Rob Schneider made a joke about male dancers and Tim's indignation about the insensitivity of the joke made me feel real warm and fuzzy. Cheers for always fighting the good fight lads blokes do dance too

and that is from ben in sydney australia well ben thank you so much can you find me over there their instagram handle yep at moose underscore visuals at moose visuals that's great because uh fuck he sounds like someone who could probably help on happening and i suspect might have a bit of time on his hands at the moment absolutely that's uh devastating though because that's exactly the kind of show that uh obviously will have but i mean everything's off everything Yeah. Well, Ben, right? Yes. So we had someone Shapiro before,

and now we've got Ben something now. Well, no. Coincidence? I think not. This next letter comes from a man named Ben. No. Tucker? Tucker C. Very strange. no uh tucker tucker c very strange we've got one here from heen sanity hmm seems confusing are you going to read one guy or am i going to read one uh you're cool man

we both do one more and then we'll be out of here. Subject line. Highest number of PhD listeners? Hi, boys. Just getting around to the December 18 podcast, but I wanted to check in. Also a PhD. And so is my husband. We started listening to you through deathblart and I've gotten hooked.

All my best, Sarah. Wait, that's Dr. Sarah. Brackets. I don't think this will be on here, but it's fine to read my name. Dr. Sarah Fisher. Doctor, eh? Well, that's good shit. Thank you, Dr. Sarah Fisher, for listening.

Great to hear from you and your uh educated husband also you smart cookies absolutely could you ever do a phd guy uh yes but i wouldn't good answer yeah great love that yeah right what's your last one it's long it's almost from the present day i think the next friend zone is going to be an absolute belter if you've got messages to send in by the way we're so terrible time on facebook um we're pretty much up to speed so they'll probably get rid on the next one or the one after um so if you you're at a loose end and you you just want to write something for the sake of it, fire them in.

What's the email, Tim? Send them to littleempirepodcasts at gmail.com. Fantastic. So this one is from March 9th. So I'll be interested to see if it broaches the current situation. It reads as follows. Hello, Tim and Guy. Would you indulge me in a tasty little bit of shameless podcast self-promotion?

That's what friends are for, right? A couple of years ago, three intrepid Wellingtonians embarked on a brave mission, piggybacking off your concept like naughty, hungry leeches. We watched Bad Mums too 52 times they do sort of give it away in the title but we were absolutely unprepared for just how bad those mums were it's frankly outrageous and they damn nearly broke us so naturally we're back for a second season this time twilight Twilight, Breaking Dawn Part 2. Do you know, I just want to say to him,

I feel physically ill at the prospect of people doing this sort of thing. I feel like one of the guys from Jackass when they realize that there is a sort of trail of destruction that their behavior might cause. Yes. Anyway, I'll continue. Twilight, Breaking Dawn Part 2. I wrote this after completing our first watch and it's safe to say that this is a spectacularly ill-advised decision however we were initially going to do cats but then you boys hopped on that one and all lucky

escape thank you thank you for your continued suffering in the name of red hot content but yeah if any of your good listeners want to give us a try we'd be deeply grateful we're called the even worse idea of all time because we're cheeky little vixens and we're available at reputable podcast vendors everywhere everywhere sorry hugs and kisses and if you if this is friend zoned you can for sure say my name that's from oliver pole so that's called the even yeah i remember i remember these cats from the capital uh good on them the even worse idea of all time, if you want to hear some other New Zealanders go on a similarly misguided but different journey,

give them a look. And then the next correspondence is from the 19th of March, which is very well and truly in the present day. So we'll save that for next time. Oh, okay. But it's been a delight i've really enjoyed catching up with you tim and all of our friends um this is the best thing hey like i don't know if anyone would care to listen to these friend zones you know it's just us giving ourselves a pat on the back um via your correspondence but boy does it make these two boys feel good to hear from you and just as a heads up so things that we're making at the moment to

you know uh just keep you distracted for a little bit and can i recommend i'd i've started doing um media commentary for the student uh radio station here in auckland and i said this on monday to everyone and i want to re-emphasize it on a global scale maybe just like chill out on the news at the moment because um people at the moment have a little bit more free time than usual and i understand uh the temptation to just be hooked on what's happening all the time but realistically you've got to remember there's there's some things in your control and some things not in your control. And the things that aren't in your control, if you sort of fixate on them, it's going to be really harmful for both you and all the things that are in your control.

So just be kind to yourself. Try and maybe chill out from the news you don't need to hear all the time. Give yourself some breaks and maybe try and uh politely gently nudge people in that direction who are around you as well and um as for us we're assisting in that endeavor by um keeping things a little bit silly over at happening you can join us over there trying to do an episode sort of twice a week at least uh if possible and we're going to be putting out um what were previously paywall patreon only episodes uh of worst idea stuff we're going to put that on the free feed um and we're going to make some more stuff for the patreon obviously as well for our contributors if you're in a position

to support we really appreciate it it it keeps the whole operation ticking along. Patreon.com slash T-W-I-O-A-T. But on that, Monty, anything else? Oh, we've sort of mentioned that we're going to have a look at cats again with the DERCOM. Yeah. Anything else that we've got to bring up before we say goodbye? No, I think we've got that to look forward to. We'll talk about this off off uh mike but

i do think um digging through perhaps john travolta's 10 most recent films just as a miniseries somewhere i think would be a great use of the time we have on our hands we're not a great use but certainly sounds good might be enjoyable for others um yeah and yeah just to reiterate what you were saying you know you don't need to follow the news take some days off social media it will make a world of difference it is perhaps not the healthiest thing to see what everyone is thinking and saying

and doing all of the time it is totally unnecessary if you can get out for a walk and you know just enjoy yourselves like it's it's hard i know but this is an opportunity to really kick back uh smoke some weed and just fucking watch some content or create some content

but you know it's um if you can just find little pockets of the day for you to enjoy yourselves it'll make a world of difference. We do realize that not everyone's in the blessed position we are in New Zealand where we've got a pretty sort of competent leadership taking charge and we feel pretty safe and looked after. So, hey, in the words of the genius, Jerry Springer would say, look after yourselves. Oh, wait, fuck fuck i fucked it up what

does i always get this wrong what it was it's very specific wording look after each other and you're set no that's not it either fuck try again i'm i'm literally googling it take care of yourself and each other ah i've got we take it for granted today we take it for granted what the fuck is that true oh we've cooked it all right everyone we'll see you on the next thing that we see on bye i've got more i've got more jerry springer quotes i'll leave it with this one good luck to all of our guests

Hope you can find some happiness in your future endeavors Until next time, take care of yourself And each other Well it's the friend zone With Tim and Guy It's the friend zone We're gonna have a good time It's the friend zone

With Tim and Guy Because making friends Is the best idea of all time. Friend zone.