The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Seventy Six

Episode Date: October 2, 2018

Check out our friends at The Ersties Podcast - a feminist sex and relationship podcast. It's also Guy's birthday and in his new found old age, he's forgetting all kinds of things. Things like the fact we have a merch store and that he recently attended the premiere lounging festival in the world. If you're in New Zealand and would like to see Guy, check out his shows in Auckland and Wellington. Always remember: The idea is best at the start, before you have to do anything about it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well it's the friendzone, with Tim and Guy, come to the friendzone, and have a good time, yes it's the friendzone, with Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time. Hello and welcome to the friendzone, episode 76? Woohoo! 76? It doesn't feel too important to get that exactly right. It's a place where Tim and I come together with you to exchange not just pleasantries, but life stories. Moments experienced, moments shared. Memories made and occasionally forgotten. How are you, Tim?

Guy, I'm delighted to wish you a happy 30th birthday i know it's a little bit late by a few days but uh i'm just thrilled that you've made it this far in life three decades who thought you'd still be alive uh certainly me who didn't i think it's the real question here uh yeah i have my doubts i won't lie to you on the podcast. I appreciate that. This is a place for the truth. Yeah, I had a great birthday. I was in Toronto. I did a bunch of shows there as part of JFL 42. And I just want to say thanks to all of the –

there were a lot of worst idea heads out there who came along and memories shared. One of them was kind enough good couches good couches yeah i'm you're lounging around on the the loveliest couches in the world that festival uh you know tim as embarrassed as i am to admit this i don't think i sat on a single couch i don't understand. We don't need to get into this now. I'll talk to you offline about this. I thought the whole idea of the festival was around gorgeous couches.

Ah, no, I see. I think what's happened here is you have remembered a riff that I have forgotten. The JFL, Justin Fucking Lounges Festival that you were a part of recently yeah well it turns out i had that wrong it was actually as you sort of i think thought initially part of the just for laughs uh festival well fuck yeah blow me down the more you know huh indeed at any rate 30 30th birthday in toronto not a bad place to be to celebrate a big, lovely round number.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, so I was just going to say thanks to everyone and a special shout out to Chris, who gave me on the day of my birthday a MacBook Pro box. It was the second time he came to see the show. And in the box, they were only just warm by the time he brought them to me but they were like 30 odd loose samosas and uh a small bag of homegrown weed uh so i want to say tremendous big shout out chris you see me and i see you wonderful what a gift you we've said macbook

pro box so many times now that it sounds like a medicine to me like a drug yeah macbook because you're always listening you're always listing medicines it's one of the things you do uh do you want to start or shall i guy the first thing is we actually uh we got approached by a podcast and they were like you want to do a little cross promotion opportunity where we um shout you guys out and you shout us out i was like sure why not because i had to listen to it and it was uh pretty fantastic and engaging it is uh what i would describe as like a it's a it's a feminist podcast is what it is it's called ernsty's podcast and i'm not quite sure what the name refers to so my apologies for not knowing that but it's four fantastic women

paulita lena olivia and pandora and uh they're cool cats and they they talk about they talk about all kinds of things i'll read from their website because it'll probably do a better job of articulating uh the podcast was born out of a particularly heated conversation during which we stopped, paused, looked at each other and thought, would people listen to this if we recorded it? And I did. It launched in late 2007, based in Berlin, Germany. Although I'm pretty sure at least the episode I was listening to,

they had people in France. It was fucking cool. New episodes come out every first Friday of the month and uh these women are from pretty interesting backgrounds for example uh paulita is a feminist pornographer uh also works as a producer performer and director uh lena is a mexican performer and model and uh olivia is a highbrow sexta and self-described lowbrow cultural critic which i would consider myself as well and pandora has labeled herself an inappropriate comment maker um it's good stuff check it out ernst's podcast e-r-s-t-i-e-s i don't know why i keep spelling stuff because whenever i hear other

people do it i fucking hate it i'm not i'm not going to remember those letters god damn it uh i think you're right too because they someone can just hit that take me back 15 second button and type it out as you've said it uh while we might not yeah while we might not pass the pass the bestel test i like to think we are a feminist podcast i don't think we can can we best our test is two women having a conversation not about a man and i think we're missing the very first ingredient. Any woman. That's right.

I said we do not pass the Bechdel test. Yet. We have a feminist spirit. Yeah. I hope. We have the spirit. We have the intention. I don't know if it shines through.

Hopefully it does. Proud feminists over here. A couple of feminist lads. We're feminists insofar as we do not... We're not baddies. We're not doing a lot of overt good. Can I carefully parlay just into a couple quick birthday comments to you guys? Because I constructed a GIF with a bunch of photos from us from season one.

Yeah. Saying happy birthday to my number one fuck boy. G Blunt, legend, said I refuse to believe Guy is 30. He has the sports fandom of someone who has been unhappy for much longer. That's funny. Happy birthday, Guy. You weirdos are my favorite kiwis happy birthday guy because a kiss is always a gift oh there's a kiss in there too uh john says my favorite guy moment is when you watch grown-ups too for the 34th time

there's a there's a lot of why is it what what happened then episode 34 uh was that prawn salad or did that come i feel like porn salad yeah it was earlier so i feel like there was something on 34 anyway there was a lot of rivalry a lot of joy a lot of adam sandler gifs uh shared on the facebook page for you so guys there's so many people who want to wish you happy birthday and i'd be remiss to not mention that uh that is very generous um thank you everyone and thanks to you tim i see that it's been promoted for whatever reason so uh thanks for spreading the gospel of my inevitable march towards death facebook said hey this post is performing well here's a ten dollar credit and i said lol i'm gonna use it on

this post way to go uh hi guys last podcast on the left just did a two-part on the old donna party wait we've done this maybe this is the james reed one no i think you've just responded to it no no we did it last friend zone we talked about this you've really wiped out a um a little section of time recently haven't you the roles are completely reversed and i love it normally i man maybe it's because i haven't smoked weed for a little while this is what, what an outcome. Maybe the rumours were true. Are you sure? Yeah, dude. Very sure.

Oh, well, who am I to argue? Guy Mont, Guy Mont fucking Gomery. Noted 30 year old. But please, move forward to the next one. Uh, while I believe you,

I'm just doing some research to, uh, to just get my own head right. So please, you read up. Well, let me ask you this. Are you doing research on the Donner Party or are you doing research on the Friend Zone? I was doing research on the release date of the Friend Zone. And it all adds up, Tim. You are correct.

I'm a buffoon. Hey, that's not what this is about, mate. But please, another message from the fabulous Worst Idea Mailbag. Hi, Gim and Ty. I mean, I might have read this one as well. Who's to say? I'm working my way through the podcast again, and there's something I never heard mentioned.

Yes, we have. Oh, no. Read more. You've fucking scrambled my brain. Hi, Gim and Ty. How do I feel? i'm working my way through the podcast again and it's something i never heard mentioned in season two i know this dark and terrible time is far behind you so i hope you don't mind my raising this question i've not subjugated myself to the film but in the scene where the man servant opens the girl's mail and abu dhabi

aren't they on vacation yeah we have talked about this yeah yeah okay but onwards uh hey fellas first off guy i just wanted to say me my dad and my friend who i dragged along all had a great time at your show the fact you had a chat with us after and signed my copy of sex in the city too was only talked when i noticed there was a new friend's own episode of my podcast and my message was read aloud thank you for the compliments however after a tangent about an autumn and signing checks, the main question I had failed to be answered. Is there a best of season two and three? No.

I wasn't expecting a call out on the friend zone, but for future knowledge, you're free to use my name or just stick with the flake Boris up to you. So this is a guy I met and I met his – he was a nice guy. I met his friend and his father. They came to my show on Tuesday night we had a wonderful chat afterwards

brief as it was and this is the guy if I remember correctly who has not got any experience editing audio but seeing as no one else has done it has taken it upon himself to say he will yeah I mean have at it, don't do it man

there's too much there. It's too much. If people want to hear it, they can listen to the thing in its entirety. They can do all the work. Yeah, I think so. Although that sounds disparaging now that I've said it out loud, so I don't know what to think. The main takeaway from what I'm saying is no,

there is no currently existing best of for season two and three. Will I make it certainly not um i've been sent a message accompanying some money sent to us guy through our website worst idea of all time.com 69 us please, Matt. You absolute legend. Hey, TG, you are my boys, and more than that, you're my wingman. My wife and I fell in love while working in New Zealand in 07 and later traded missives about your podcast when we dated long distance. Guy, hit us up for a beer. We live in New York.

I'm going to send you. Do I have this guy's email? Yes, I do. I'm going to send it to you guy and you're gonna have beer with him right on i hope he's cool yeah what might be murder what if he's a murderer that would suck heaps but you know it would i think forever solidify the importance of the friend zone and a murderer is just a friend that you haven't made proper friends with. I don't think that's the saying. I've got one here.

It says, hey, you good boys. I love you so much, and you are the tingling sensation in my tummy when good things happen. That's a nice thing to say. But can you point me straight? What's the good word with your merch? I'm talking about the swag, things we can buy which help others know that you and only you are what we want to wear and represent. Temporary tattoos, family crest, I'll wear it.

Put it out there. Then one day, I'll see someone at a bar with the same merch and our eyes will light up and we'll run towards each other in slow motion. Hair blowing in the sunset. They're inside a bar and the sun is blowing their hair in this little circumstance. Just point the way and collect the stacks of hundos.

Also, my wife and I love your boyish friendship. We live in New York. Let's buy you a pint. Oh, this is probably the same guy who's communicating across mediums because we don't respond to messages via email. You don't know. Maybe it's two different people. say my name in an accent you're unfamiliar with matt trainer meant to be slavic probably racist i apologize to all that is the

same guy of our eastern european listeners so here's the deal with merch go to worst idea of all time dot com slash merch It really is that easy. And I should actually tidy up. I haven't really delved into this in a while. It's been on my to-do list for quite some time. But you want to click on the link that says new and improved merch store, and you'll be taken to a TeePublic site. And I will say this about TeePublic.

I was with a different merch provider making our stuff and it was a lot more expensive these guys it doesn't look as nice on the website itself but the products are great i've ordered heaps of stuff and the brilliant thing about them is i whack a design on here and you can put it on anything you can order uh i highly recommend the stickers the stickers are great you can get t-shirts you can get hoodies you can put it on anything. You can order, I highly recommend the stickers. The stickers are great. You can get t-shirts, you can get hoodies, you can get notebooks, you can get pencil cases. You can get all kinds of merch with like pay the boys

or a guy in my tattoo. There's so much stuff that you can get. You can get phone cases, laptop cases, wall art, all kinds of shit. So just go to worstdayofalltime.com slash merch. That's how you find it. Is it embarrassing for me to buy some of our own merch i'd love a pay the boys sticker nah i'm gonna i'm i'm actually gonna make a big order of shit the pay the boys t-shirts look fucking fantastic let me say that i'm gonna put put a big order of stuff you can get baby

pay the boys stuff you can get a baby onesie. How cool is that? That is quite good fun. Oh, this is cool. Totes, pillows, mugs. This is great. I've got a few mugs for the male gaze and boners of the heart as well. I can attest to the mugs. Also good.

And it's cheap. And the site frequently goes on sale. Part of the whole thing of we're going to get season one back on and maybe I should take this opportunity to speak to that now. I'm sorry it hasn't happened yet. I do apologize. I should have not opened my big, dumb fucking mouth so early as to sort of announce that at the start of the project

because I'm about to go away for almost two weeks where I will be very off the grid. So I thought that the partnering platform was going to have their shit together before now for me to get it up. But I don't know if that's going to be the case. So I'm sorry for that. It is forthcoming. It'll be tremendous. And I'm also going to tidy up some little bits and pieces like the website and just make the merch a bit more obvious as well.

Because the merch is good and frequently on sale oh this this website's great i'm clicking around you can buy all sorts of shit all kinds of stuff man we never talk about it but we literally never talk about it i didn't know that we had this this is part of the big push mate it's coming it's coming down the pipe i can get a tank top with patrick schwarzenegger's face on it you know i tweeted a photo i was going to the shower a few days ago and i saw my ass in the mirror or just the patty's eyes poking out over the top of my undies yeah and uh i was like fucking a i've never seen him just peeping out me undies like that i saw that post it was so good because he did the

zoom in as well so i took it i took a photo of it and tweeted and tweeted and tagged him and uh patty schwartz you better believe that good boy still follows me he got it on the rt he loves it did he one step one step closer to drinking a beer with the man himself ah that's so good i saw him uh because i follow him on the social medias now i think he put up something on instagram of him doing a a model i believe is the term and he said like it was who was it vanity fair something he was like i can't believe they photoshopped out my abs and i was like good one patty it's good joke is boy. Can I read you an email? Absolutely.

I'm sorry to report, Tim, I'm meant to meet my sister for dinner before we go and watch the great friend of the podcast and comedian, James Acaster's show here in New York. Well, I am very sad to hear that. Yeah, I thought you would be. This will have to be the last piece of correspondence for this very short friend zone.

I apologize. Not a walker. Alexander writes, dear Kakapo Tim and Harst Eagle Guy. I feel like I've read this one before because I was talking about the message looks different. Correct. Stop me when it sounds familiar, Guy. Not being a religious boy, not until this Googled moment, did I realize that saying pride cometh before the fall is paraphrased from the Bible, which is besides the point anyway.

My point is, I fear that pride might be pushing my keyboard keys right now, as I'm about to reference a Friendzone message of mine that you read in summer of 2017. I shall prepare a soft ottoman for my fall. Move over, guy, please. In the last, partially inspired, by the way, Friend Zone 75, an extended friend named Laura, I'm not going to say their last name, wrote in, even though I must have named them. I'm being very weirdly particular.

Making the connection between the Donner Party, James Reid, and We Are Your Friends. This is the one that you started reading at the top, guy. That's right. I was going to be skeptical. She was hoping for some related mythos so i just wanted to direct her back to near the end of friendzone 51 for my message attempting such a thing in case she's interested apparently that message slipped both your minds which to me reflects your overall sound mind stellar mental health and irresponsibly uh sorry irrepressibly good-natured ability to

live in the goddamn moment i will let you decide what me remembering that old message reflects besides the goddamn blinding light of french of the friendship sun anyway i'm in the process of trying to figure out which friend zone my donna party message lived forever and ever and ever within i ended up skipping around through the 50s because i remembered it being around there somewhere this resulted in me getting some rapid fire cuts of you saying seemingly random things since i only listened to a single sentence before i jumped backwards or forwards in my search for the message i thought it would be funny to string some of those together and imagine it just being part of your normal podcast repartee and was going to try translate for here uh that here for you for

your listening pleasure so i tried it but i started wanting to curate the goddamn thing and i just decided to go to bed instead it was funny the first time but guess what you're funny every time lots of love from this patreon of your arts alex in santa cruz california i mean it was a long way to go to tell us you didn't do the damn thing AJ but God bless you I think also the experience of articulator is one we can all relate to isn't an idea so good before you try and will it into existence because that is when it truly becomes overwhelming and impossible the birth of an idea is always the best bit

that's right but if I've learned anything in my years of almost achieving success just do the first version of it it'll be a bit shit but then when you do the next version of the same thing it's going to be slightly better and on and on it goes uh let me say this i'm going to put lots of links in the description for this episode because we've said a lot of things so i'm going to shout out that um feminist podcast i'll put the link for their website for the merch store if you want to check out some merch and uh i don't i think maybe that was it but thank you guys for sharing your precious time fuck it nah now i'm going away i'm off the grid for a couple of weeks so um yeah well i i actually

do and uh it would be remiss of me not to take this opportunity to say as much because there won't be an episode going live between now and the show's happening uh i'm sorry so if i may when you said some of you got any shows coming up what you meant was i got a couple shows coming up well it was both wasn't it you were the conduit through which the information i really wanted to share. Oh, I guess. Please proceed. I'm doing a return season of a slightly retweaked version of my solo show from earlier this year. Garmin doesn't check his phone for an hour. In Wellington on Tuesday, the 9th of October.

That's in New Zealand. In Auckland on Tuesday, the 23rd of October. And in Sydney on Friday, the 26rd of October and in Sydney on Friday the 26th of October. I'm also doing two very stupid, loose, fun variety shows in Auckland called Gum and Gummy Brings New York to You on Tuesday the 23rd and Wednesday the 24th of October. If you go to my Twitter, all of the dates are available by clicking the link in my bio.

That's all I wanted to say Tim it's been a pleasure talking with you and have a good time going off the grid Guy love you love you best idea of all time.