The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Sixty Seven

Episode Date: April 18, 2018

All you need to know is that Timbo and Guyguy have saved a life (maybe). Stay tuned for the gripping and efficient tale. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. Come to the friend zone and have a good time. Yes, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy because me Guy Montgomery. Just kidding here's a guy. I was handing him his mic. Yeah it was a visual gag. Tim was holding two different mics. Oh my god we got so many. Holy shit. so holy shit yeah these go back a bit can i start with a real humdinger and i'd also like to say hi everyone we've started um chucking up all the old patreon eps on the mainstream so the director's commentary i'd be tempted to say was a mistake uh we move away from that format in a bit but there's a few of them so you can listen to them or not they're pretty long the one for um southland

tales i've got to be honest i took a really bad turn in trying to describe what was happening on screen and in the plot and that movie defies sense so that was a misstep on my my behalf southland tales though uh if you have enough drugs yeah well worth the adventure perhaps absolutely alone is... Anyway, we're not here to talk about that. We're here to do a friendzone episode where we hear from our mates. Yes. And you say you've got a humdinger ready and loaded. This is from so long ago as well.

Sorry about that, Alan. So the subject line is, Worst idea of all time, maybe save my life? Definitely my car. Here's from Alan. I'll get right to it. I was carjacked at gunpoint the night of American Thanksgiving outside my parents' house. I'm okay, no worries.

Do you want a lesson in getting right to the point? Because this guy's serving one up right now. Alan's done it. Everyone pay attention to Alan. I'm going to get right to the point. I was carjacked at gunpoint. Two fellas took my car key and phone and hopped in my partner's recently purchased Prius. I think they were having trouble getting the car started, maybe because it doesn't have a key ignition.

But when they did, something pretty great happened. My phone automatically connected to the car's Bluetooth and started absolutely blasting episode 44 of the worst idea of all time i then ran inside and locked the door i'm not sure what happened outside next but they didn't manage to get the car and drive and left it i found my phone the next morning in some bushes down the street using some fancy gps work all in all things turned out okay we've still got the car and maybe there are two new fans of the body creeping around the streets of louisville kentucky thanks for the podcast exceeded to excited to see what you all do next from alan holy shit the efficiency on that tail yeah that was uh one of the best letters we've received thank you very much for your

correspondence i'm sorry to hear about the incident, but glad to hear that everything resolved itself quite neatly. How freaked out would you be if you were a robber and you went and carjacked a car and you started it up and two Kiwi voices were just shouting about a movie to you? They don't sound experienced, and so it would be quite off-putting. Like, if you knew what you were doing, you'd just turn the stereo off and you'd be like,

shut up, I've got to focus. Exactly exactly you're in there and there are two like because it would be potentially the sound of two loot like depending on what state we're in we could have sounded like we were also in the car should i look up episode 44 and see if we can determine from the title which one it was uh absolutely i am going to respond to a message here this one was sent to us on the 14th of January this year from Andrea and it's a great message you're going to love this

I'm looking forward to it guy I don't even know if you'll still reply on this account but it's worth an attempt what mic did you boys use for the podcast right now you hear us recording on some Shure SM58 the most reliable microphone in show business

but in Tim's studio we use something entirely different you can pour a beer directly into those SM58's and they'll still work in a gig it's the MXL something they're pretty cheap, they're green and gold you'll find them on Amazon for like 80 bucks US.

They're not that great. It's just that we've got excellent voices. That's the real secret sauce. I am just catching up on some other messages that we've got here. A bit of correspondence through February. It's from James Hatfield, who's sent a link. Is James Hatfield an astronaut or am I imagining that?

Doesn't look like one on his profile photo. He says, may not be out of the woods yet, boys. And he sent a link to the website news.com.au with a picture of Kim Cattrall and the headline, kill off Samantha at the start of Sex and the City 3. Wait, that's his instruction or the name of the article?

That was the name of the article. He was just like, watch out. Another one here from our friend Harry around a similar time who's sent us a link saying, well, this looks pretty final. Enjoy your freedom, boys. Another link, this one from Jezbo

with the headline, Kim Cattrall has had it with Sergius Kapaka's bullshit condolences. They really have had a falling out these two, haven't they? Hugely. And I like that they brought it to Twitter for all of us to enjoy outwardly. But it was actually like, it was sad as well, because what kicked off this recent public tirade was the death of a family member,

which is always such a hard thing to go through and to have to bloody be battling celebrity relationships while you're grieving not what you want it's um have you been any celebrity feuds recently mainly just that one to be honest you were part of it yeah oh did you say have i been a part of any celebrity feuds no i haven't on account of me not being a celebrity guy you can still get involved how so just jump in just put your two cents in, yeah. Put me in, coach. Yeah.

Imagine if you were smart enough to conceive of a way to kick off a celebrity feud. We can do that. Who? It's all about misinformation, isn't it? Surely. You know those...

Who do you want to see feuding? Do you know what a deep fake is? Vladimir feud in Vladimir feud in. Oh, I like Putin. I say, um, do you know what a deep fake is?

No, it's like a video where they can put your face onto a body that isn't yours. And it's convincing. So, um, there's probably, there's probably sex tapes out there that are like constructed with celebrity spaces put on normal people's bodies undoubtedly that that aren't real so if we just got our hands on some um computing power you know went to wetter

workshops in wellington got them to render up a few deep fakes we could finally break up ryan reynolds and blake lively oh wow you love ryan reynolds though why would you i know because i want him for myself i want him for me uh a little message here the worst idea of all time listen to the worst idea of all time season two for my last two eight hour shifts i just want to know where coffee guy's going and see if the rat king finally takes over New York. What do you think they're up to these days, those crazy kids? Well, I mean, Brady has somehow persuaded his mother to run for the mayoral seat of New York. Governor of New York.

Steve was the mayor, right? Currently. Was Steve not the mayor during... Yeah, mayor during yeah yeah you got it brady's pulling a lot of i mean that guy wields more power than anyone gives him credit for he's a terrifying figure as for dick boy i think he's laying low under the you know the harsh glare of the spotlight with relations between america and russia and having r Russian parts inside of him I'd say he's probably sort of somewhere

in Colombia perhaps oh Colombia yeah what a lovely spot to hide out yeah so warm

so fresh absolutely we've got here someone's made a photoshop for us for Zicoli pasta organic carbohydrate

and fibre free Zicoli pasta it's water it's water and plastic. Hello boys. I was really listening to some of the first episodes of season 3. And made this mess for you all. Also a blazed pizza opened in my lovely home of Durham, North Carolina.

And I get mad every time I have to drive past her. So that's nice. Durham. Durham. Durham. I'm trying to assess on the fly again It's this old My favourite game of all Have I read this email before?

I'm going to start it And you interrupt me Okay guy? Only if you have Yes Ah yeah Either way This is from Edward

Dear you two Lovely lovely man I do not apologise For this lengthy message Uh oh Storm bro-ing I've only been a fan of the podcast For about half a year now I do not apologize for this lengthy message. Uh-oh. Stormbroin. I've only been a fan of the podcast for about half a year now. One of my old co-workers, who's known for his roaring laughter,

is a big podcast fan and turned me into you boys. Correct spelling. I and a Z. We call it Z. Turned us in. Turned him in. Not on. Turned me onto you boys.

Turned me into you boys a bit We're dealing with some sort of wizard Yeah yeah Or a mad scientist Or a crook While working He would constantly interrupt the silence By laughing to himself

The rest of my co-workers and I Always wondered what he could possibly be listening to That made him laugh all the time Guess what? It was you two lovely guys The worst idea of all time Really caught on with the rest of us. And I can confidently, yeah, let's confidently say you have at least two fans from Wisconsin. What a statement of confidence.

Yeah. We're huge in Wisconsin. Two fans. Chalk it up. More than one. How many people live in Wisconsin? Several. More than one.

Two's not bad then. i thought the whole premise of the podcast was absolutely absurd but exciting simultaneously for whatever reason i was tickled by the thought of a couple silly kiwis watching the same movie 52 times over the course of a year when i heard that the first movie was grown-ups 2 it really sealed the deal boy was i in for a treat here's a little background that may or may not provide some clarity to my excitement for Grown Ups 2. 5.795 million. That's pretty close to New Zealand. It's more. I know it's more, Guy, but it's pretty close. For whatever reason, my dad has always been a fan of Adam Sandler. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of many of Sandler's classics, but my dad watches every godforsaken film the man puts out.

Naturally, he watched the first Grown Ups around the time it was released, and my dad loved it. Because of this, my dad, my younger siblings, and I constantly quoted this movie when we needed a laugh. Ever since, Grown Ups has always had a special place in my heart. Pardon me for getting a little sentimental. Back to business. I've had an on-and-off-again relationship with your podcast, mostly due to my work and school, But I managed to get through season one No one tells you you're going to be broken jobless Once you graduate from college So I recently moved back to my hometown To pursue a master's degree in teaching

I'm going to be a Spanish teacher Good idea Broken jobless You know what the fix for that is? More study More college Yeah Upskill

Muy bueno To pay for school I work in their office as a graduate assistant. From September to October, I plowed right through seasons two and three. I drive my girlfriend to and from work every day, so she was forced to listen to your struggles, but is now actually quite fond of you boys. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I finally achieved my dream of catching up to you boys. I think you should pursue your dream of getting a job my friend i love my favorite fans are those who sort of just through the overwhelming willpower of the genuine listener a sort of stockholm syndrome into tolerating the

idea of the podcast you know oh what the people they bring along yeah do you mean yeah that's my favourite the people who come to your live comedy show who don't know who you are have no you know just like no context

yeah okay I'll come yeah okay do you like it yeah yeah yeah one of the things

that my parents friends say if they've come to a show and I haven't done well in it it's one of my least favorite things in the world. Can I guess it?

Yes. I can't believe you can remember all of that. Is that it? How do you remember it all? I just don't know how you remember it all. David. As unfortunate as it is, I couldn't possibly have done it without the eight watch penalty that Tim so graciously added to your original 52.

So thank you slash sorry for your suffering. Quick disclaimer, I meant to send this to you about five or six weeks ago, but time got away from me. Better late than never. Dude, you sent this months, months ago. We lived that life. Don't worry.

It's almost over. Per your advice, I still haven't watched any of the movies, mostly because I'm waiting for the opportune moment to play the drinking games alongside them whoops uh but alas i've not the time well i suppose my rambling has gone far enough thank you tim bett and guy montgomery for the countless hours of love and laughter and thank you in advance for any more content you plan to provide to your loving and sadistic fans sorry i couldn't toss you any dosh i'll try to hashtag pay the boys soon. Dude, you already have. Lots of hugs and kisses

from your boy in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Say it loud and proud if this gets read on the friendzone. Otherwise, don't you dare say it. Randy Ribakowicz. Go you bucks. P.S. My girlfriend and I have been dying to catch either one of your shows. We even planned

a small vacation just to catch one of the last West Idea of All Time live shows, but sadly we were too busy. But old Guymont in the States, there's still a glimmer of hope.

I'm determined to get myself to NZ at some point in the future where I hope to shake the loving yet firm hand of the great Tim Bantz. I guess you expect to see me one day?

I don't really know where I was going with that thought. Adios. Yeah, boy! What a legend. There's a lovely message one here. I wish you nothing but the I was going with that thought. Adios. Yeah, boy. What a legend. That was a lovely message. I wish you nothing but the best of luck with your career as a Spanish teacher.

I had a Spanish teacher once, and she was cool. I called her Fifi. Yeah. She didn't like it very much. Her name was Fiona. Oh, good luck. Spanish for good luck. Hey, guys and Tims.

I've been a huge fan of your podcast since I discovered it last summer That's funny, that's a good intro And I have to say that your cheery voices And suffering for the good of mankind Really helped me get through my last semester of university As well as the month following Searching for a job and my recent breakup Your podcast is quite possibly

The greatest thing that I have here And I still have a bit more to go Congrats on Tim's marriage And best wishes to you both. In your future endeavors. Listening in the snowy tundra. That is Calgary. Alberta.

Canada. David. Curry. Thank you David. David Curry. He's named after delicious food. But with the first name David. That's right.

It freaked me out when you said. You said congrats on the marriage because I am not wearing my ring and I was like, fuck, I've lost it. You are still married. I haven't lost it. It's getting resized. Thanks for checking.

Also, I've got a message here from a New Zealand listener. I can tell because they've attached a photo with a New Zealand license plate on it but the van is a golden van on the back which says Gold Star Heat Pumps. And the caption that is attached is good to see dick full of diamonds

is still going after the business went into liquidation which I love obviously a lot of chatter about Cynthia Nixon running for New York Governor which we love

I wonder where her chances are I wonder if she'll win I think she's got a pretty good chance really? she's got no political background right? I've got two more I've I think she's got a pretty good chance. Really? She's got no political background, right? I've got two more

messages to get through. What do you reckon? Mate, I want to hear one of them and not the other one. I think you want to hear both. No. Just one.

Yeah, I want both. Okay. Hello, Timbo and Go-Go. I thought it was about time I told you boys how bloody fantastic you are. Yeah, about time someone talked about

how bloody fantastic we are. I've been time someone talked about how bloody fantastic we are. I've been listening to your insanity since about halfway through season one. Across the years, I've listened and re-listened to you boys whenever my life hasn't been going great. There's something quite comforting about hearing two people going insane while you cry in bed eating cheesecake. At the moment, I can't afford to pay the boys, but know that some money will show up when I finally get a paycheck. Thanks for your endless hours of gold. That comes from Brooke, whose last name I will not say. Good on you.

But you mentioned Dave Curry's last name. Well, he wrote his full name at the end of the message. Thank God. In Tauranga, New Zealand. Beautiful Tauranga. This is where everyone moved to. It is beautiful. Now that Auckland's too expensive.

And here is the final message for this friend zone. This man is responsible for pain man I would not expect when suggesting Breen for the Deciders Club that it would lead to multiple episodes

oh yeah good on you guys can you just hit pause for a second you're fighting the good fight explain what he's talking about for the uninitiated on the Patreon

Tim and I after sort of dabbling with what sort of movies to watch and how to watch them have wound up Explain what he's talking about. For The Uninitiated, on the Patreon, Tim and I, after sort of dabbling with what sort of movies to watch and how to watch them, have wound up settling on a rhythm of watching Neil Breen, who is sort of this terrifying Tommy Wiseau-esque visionary who has self-funded and released several movies. He's originally an architect from Las Vegas and he decided to get into the film industry he's a terrifying man fateful findings i believe was the movie that sort of put him on the

map he featured at some sort of film festival and it was like in the same way the room was so uniquely bad it was of interest this guy did the same thing but he's done it over and over and it is not good they are fascinating projects so what we were doing originally, Patreon is the website where some people can give us money on an ongoing basis, a little fiver, you know, monthly or what have you.

And if you give a certain tier, we throw it to you guys to tell us what to watch and review for an episode. And someone put us onto this brain fella and we said, stop the voting, everyone. We've got to consume more brain.

We've got to get through the brain machine that's right and we are currently in the tumblr and it is savage anyway Chris then goes on

to offer assistance if we need help finding the movies copies of his work yeah oh we do his old films

are quite difficult to find he basically did a short run of them then stopped distributing them when he was beginning to work on fateful findings if you need help let me know thank you so much chris uh for putting us in this prison and then offering us snacks while inside of it you absolute pig of a

man uh and thank you to everyone who's still with us on our journey into adulthood as tim navigates marriage without a wedding ring and i puberty navigate puberty um can i address a message to the pig dog we do need a hand with finding those movies because they are mighty hard to come by now that's right neil breen went to so much trouble to make him and then he hit them and rightly so anyhow i've got to get out of here i've got a game of football to play tim oh okay we've all got shit to do guy what have you got got to do? Absolutely nothing. Party on. Okay thanks everybody we'll catch you really soon and you can enjoy more of our Patreon

givings on this very stream. Goodbye. Cause making friends is the best idea of all time.