The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Sixty Two

Episode Date: November 27, 2017

NYC and LA live shows are days away: Tickets from worstideaofalltime.comGuybo and Timbo are in Huntington, West Virginia staying with their friend, Justin. This drop of friendliness features notes of possum fur, irony, Southern accents and shouting. Discussion of the pronunciation of certain homophones also pops its head up again and even Cpt Beefheart has made it into TWIOAT canon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

well it's the friend zone with tim and guy come to the friend zone and have a good time yes it's the friend zone with tim and guy because making friends is the best idea of all time hello and welcome to the friend zone number who cares hard to say 60 bloody fucking uh two i was saying hello purely for my own enjoyment. Yeah, I know. But yet here we are in the friend zone, here in Huntington, West Virginia, on Thanksgiving Day,

although this will probably come out a couple days after that. How the bloody hell are you, Guy Montgomery? Yeah, pretty good, thanks. I'm still reeling at the fact that that hello, which I thought was not for public consumption, has become thus. Just get used to it, man. You've got to learn to roll with the punches.

I thought you were an improviser. Yes, and me, my dude. No, it feels illegal. No. I was about to say hello and reveal sort of, you know, several personal details which are not. Well, it's a good thing you didn't. Quick on your feet. Old Flash.

That's the Flash I know. There you go. Now you know how to butter me up. There we go hey um look we don't have long because uh i don't know if there's a non-creepy way to sound uh while saying this but we're in justin mcelroy's house of of the podcast my brother my brother and me and uh we got some thanksgiving plans so we thought we'd sandwich this in in between food stops. Yeah. You know, full disclosure, Justin, he's taken a quick cat nap before we go on and in between Thanksgiving, what's the word?

Engagements. And Tim, in all of his, you know, due goodness as a house guest and person, scrubbed up some dishes. He walked out. He's not a man to waste time. And he said, I want to record a friend zone. And I said, Tim, I don't want to record a friend zone. And then Tim went downstairs and he came back up with microphones and he said, Guy, we're recording a friend zone. And then Justin woke up and said, Hey boys, we're out of here.

And here we are recording a friend zone. Justin pottering about his kitchen. And can I say as well, in Justin McElroy's defense, no defense of your character, but of his, he slept for about four hours last night. Such was his baking fury in preparation for Thanksgiving and then an early rise to make sure everything was ticking along. We made a pav, a pavlova to contribute to the Thanksgiving festivities that were going to the Savo, which I'm very proud that we pulled it off. We got up at 6.30 in the morning. Too early to say, Tim. It passes the visual test.

It looks good. By the skin of its arsehole. Look, our first piece of mail we're diving into today, Guy, comes to us from Annie, who writes, Dear Timpansy and Guy Rangitan, It's Annie and Steph, your favourite Adelaide pals. Say our name, bitches.

We are regretfully planning to farewell you good boys in style but are uncertain as to where to find the definitive worst drinking game rules for We Are Your Friends. If I have to watch this goddamn film even once, I want

to well and truly be sourced up by the time that final song drops for the gyrating tweens can you direct us in an appropriate direction or compile a list of tipsy tips so that all your friends can raise a glass to what has been truly excellent an excellent three years uh cheers mates keep up all the good work whatever that may be. Annie and Steph, kiss for a kiss is a gift, even if it ends in heartbreak. I can direct you. If you follow at hiphiker on Instagram,

Stray and Cole, who's been generously animating every episode we've done this season. I don't know if it's animation. How is it not animation? It's not animated. Yeah, it is. It's not animated uh yeah it is it's not real tim hold on what do you think animation is an image a cartoon image animation has to move my friend no it doesn't yeah by definition animation is okay okay i'll throw an adjective in front of it okay and you can decide to chastise me for that. A static animation.

Okay, great. So if you go along, he animated statically that particular episode of the podcast. We also posted it on the Worst Idea of All Time Facebook page, but I heartily encourage following Stray and all the same for some very entertaining illustrations. So that's at hiphiker on instagram and all of the drinking rules will be yours somewhere in there you're right tim yeah is that true

that he did that yeah yeah that's so cool i'm uh i am double checking my my research oh don't worry about that it's time to move forward on the SS friendship. Yeah, here it is. They're all there. Tim did it without me. As I recall, I was in deepest, darkest West Australia, and I Skyped in Tim, who was absolutely sourced. And I accidentally wiped our recording when we were two-thirds of the way through the episode. And do you think he forgave me? Because I don't know. I truly don't remember any of what you just said occurring that's so funny boys can i draw your attention way back to season one episode eight at the 20 minute 40 second mark where tim states that if grown-ups three is made you guys will watch it 104 times yep there's no real reason for me pointing this out other than

to alert the surely wider listener base You have now Than you had at the time So we can, as a community Hold you both to account When the inevitable threequel is announced Hey listen Kisses and wishes

Zach Efron? Quite probably Yeah, if Zach's changed his last name on Facebook He would've He's famous, that's what they do Probably Zach Efron? Quite probably. Yeah, if Zach's changed his last name on Facebook to... He would have. He's famous. That's what they do. Probably Zac Efron.

Zac Efron, here's the thing about that. You did right, and that's fine. We actually feel like we really dodged a bullet because they officially cancelled any production of Sex and the City 3. That's right. We've got to fish a word on that. The only thing that can lure us out of retirement is, of course, the grown 3. That's right. We've got to fish a word on that. The only thing that can lure us out of retirement is, of course, the grown-ups' threequel.

What do you think the likelihood is? What do you think the odds are? I see no reason why it won't eventually happen, and that is heartbreaking to me. I've got a letter here, Guy. It's a letter sent through this crazy series of networked computers called the internet comes to us from luke who writes tim tam and gone apple lumps perfect that is nice first thing you've

changed the way i watch movies i watch extras more closely and when the plot line or characters go south i make sure i tell all my friends i am watching with and anyone in earshot my own my own personal gift to humanity care of you i think thank you keep up the good work uh that i can assume you are still making since i'm a bit behind i was recently in your country and discovered a few things number one auckland is not spelt with an O. Only hearing it pronounced by your lyrical songbird-like tones, I assumed it was an O. I was in for one heck of a surprise. Number two, possum fur is actually the sought-after fibre for wearables instead of the wool we all assume is the prized export. I got myself a jumper and boy, it's warm.

Too bad you had to cold-blooded kill them to make it. warm too bad uh you had to cold-blooded kill them to make it while i was in your very own fair country i got behind on my listens for the first time since episode 12 of season one brackets i can't tell you if the timing of that being in your country is ironic since i no longer fully understand the word after alanis morissette smash hit at the same name now that is ironic big fan i've good luck understanding that joke you fucking idiot the punctuation in this is very interesting the dude's made interesting decisions i'm going to read it like as written big fan i've listened to every episode brackets except for the last half of the southern one and had a huge guffaw by myself listening to the early episode where Guy got left off the recording and there was just empty space.

I was in traffic in LA and got lots of strange looks laughing by myself to actual silence. I wish you all the best in your endeavours. I will miss the podcast, though if your movie choices continue as they are, I think you should stop. Otherwise by season 5 you'll be watching five hour arthouse film of paint drying to the sounds of beat poetry slowed down by 0.001 of the original speed maybe throw on a few Adam Sandler movies and get back on track I don't advise the ones on Netflix they are terrible spoiler alert anywho enjoy the five bucks a month hopefully over time it adds up to a full

Michael King of thanks and appreciation feel free to use my real name shout out to all the worst idea homies big love that is from it's actually cut off his name which again so don't use his full name Luke Haynes I believe thank you Luke

Haynes great message Luke thank you my dude And thank you for listening for such a long time Why did you not finish the Southern episode? Tim and I had a positive moment reminiscing about that But two hours ago Just today Very strong ep of the podcast I think

I mean have you listened to it? Have you? Nope No I ain't listened to it I ain't listened to the whole thing I ain't listened to it. I ain't listening to the whole thing. I ain't listening to it either. We were in Kentucky, you see, earlier today. All right, here we go.

It stirred something in me. Brought back some memories. We've been to three states today. Three states before noon today on this Thanksgiving 2017. That's right. In the year of our Lord. Can I start? Please.

Say my name, only if Guy screams it three times at Tim, and if Tim whispers it gently at Guy. I mean, we're house guests, so it feels inappropriate. But the only other house guest is currently on the other side of the room, and I reckon that guy who's busy sorting his liquor cabinet looks like he could give two hoots about the volume at which we speak. And he's nodding as though to encourage me. James giving the thumbs up.

Chris Thomas! Oh, God. Chris Thomas! Chris Thomas! Chris Thomas. Hey there, Timmy Mimmy Bo Bimmy and Guyana Ana Bobana. I finally feel it's right to write to you since I'm finally going to be able to support the troops

and pay the boys. That's one activity listed as two. Thanks for the conjunction, and. My journey with the worst idea of all time started when I was in military training. I ran across a Reddit thread that talked about podcasts to listen to and someone mentioned that two blokes with weird accents were watching the great Adam Sandler movie,

Grown Ups 2, for every week for a year can i just interject something i subscribe to the pod our podcast subreddit fuck we get no play on there this and we haven't for a long time yeah this was sort of three years ago and we were exciting and new as opposed to washed up uh and that was enough to get me to listen. And listen, I did. Oh, you want me to open that? You keep talking. Justin's just getting me to open a bottle of Frangelico. That is a... Oh, actually, I mean, some got...

No, there's no hiding that. Yeah, that's right. And listen, I did. I downloaded backlogged episodes and listened as you descended into madness completely by your own doing, drawing a strange parallel between your prison and mine in training. I've been with you from Paddy to Brady to Squirrel and for all interactions of the knife. I know other in the military may have contacted you before, but your potty did support the troops for three full years.

I look forward to seeing you at the show and possibly tickling one or both of you so that you remember me. Kisses for the both of you because a kiss is always a gift. Love, Chris Thomas. one or both of you so that you remember me kisses for the both of you because a kiss is always a gift love chris thomas juice got it open yeah i struggled immensely and then juice took the bottom was just like dope they say teamwork makes the dream work tim it's so good that we literally supported the troops and now he is figuratively supporting the uh troops who awkwardly describe themselves as troops. Fucking love it. It is good news.

Hey, listen, we've got an old friend who's gotten in touch with us, Guy. Of course. I may just read you this communique from Chris. Boys! Our good friend Brian wasn't joking with you. Re-beer, beer, and beer. And those are all different spellings. And in American dialect...

Excuse me, i'm actually drinking a beer currently and an american dialect beer the animal and beer as a nude are indeed homophones hey we've heard it we've heard this but beer the the tasty beverage is different yeah no you're right oh boy it makes me wonder if we've read the other two before who's to say how about steer okay hold on i don't know this looks unfamiliar to me how do you pronounce here and here okay so the first one is h-a-i-r on your head and the other one is like currently in this location so say both of those uh i'm doing my hair here. Are they the same? Yeah. Yeah, they sound the same to me.

What about... By definition, they are the same. What about the word steer? So to look at something intensely and a... Is it a male deer or something? Steer. Yep. And steer. So you steer the car while you're steering at the road.

And what are you staring at? Stairs. I walk up stairs. What about the... Isn't a steer, S-T-E-E-R, like an animal? That's how you drive a car. S-T-E-E-R. You steer a car.

Fuck, I'm confused. It's both. Okay, it is both. Thank God. Okay, peer and peer. Oh, there'm confused. It's both. Okay, it is both. Thank God. Okay, pear and pear. Oh, there we go. It sounded like it was different when I said it. Pears and two of something and to look, to peep.

Okay, I was going to guess which was which. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I don't know which order I did it in. There's actually three pears. Yeah. There's your esteemed, your esteemed pairs. Oh, yes. Your esteemed pairs.

Yes. And esteemed pair of pairs. But what about to two pair? He, she, I, he paired. You pair. I mean, this is nonsense. It really is at this point. What difference does it make?

I finished your message with, this is nonsense. It really is at this point. What difference does it make? I finished your message with, I love you, I wish I could make it to New York to see you, and I already miss you. Kisses and wishes from Christopher Metzger, who has certainly been in touch with us before. And Chris, thank you for staying with us and posing such interesting questions, which I'm sorry that we weren't tolerating today

because we're full of carbohydrates and booze. I want you to cast your mind back to the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour, if you may. You got it. Are we going to do it? Roll up. It's the destination. Roll up for the Mystery Tour and roll up. It's the constitution.

Roll up for the Mystery Tour and the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour and roll up. It's the constitution. Roll up for the Mystery Tour and the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour is coming to take me away. Coming to take me away. Take me today. This shit-posting robot just randomly generated the definitive Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour and provided the perfect explanation for how Wiley broke his arms. Would you like to hear what ClickBot2000 has to say about this journey?

Point the mic more at your mouth. This is why I gave you headphones. Would you like to hear what I have to say? You look furious. You're just a condescending piece of shit. Throwing back Frangelangelico laced whipped cream you just got to angle it slightly more towards your mouth is all i'm saying i'm sorry no no no that's the opposite you're doing the complete inverse clickbot 2000 says i can't handle it

study finds steve buscemi still getting shot into space by a giant catapult on a regular basis. Oh my god, come on now. No end in sight, researchers say. Really took the wind out of that. What news stories is it referencing to be able to assemble such a headline? I don't know. I don't know what the basis of the ClickBot 2000 is. The other one that is available on the screenshot on a phone that is both charging and fully charged. Fucking respect to my man.

Cucking news. The Chemical Brothers will break up because frontman Big Smoke had an affair with drummer Captain Beefheart's wife, Rolf Harris. Jesus Christ. Captain Beefheart is a deep old cut. And can I recommend that if anyone runs out of music That you're into Fucking give Captain Beefheart a God's honest try Not for everyone

But for the chosen few It'll be a full on revolution for your brain Guy I feel like I may have shot myself in the foot before By condescending you But let me ask you this in earnest could you chuck me a beer please claire writes to us a dearest time which is running out for us all and not the flash but a flash

i list i started i started listening to this beautiful train wreck around when season two started when a friend who has an inside joke where he pretends to love Adam Sandler movies, linked to a Vice article titled, quote, Meet the two guys who are doomed to watch Grown Ups 2 for all eternity, end quote, and called you, quote, the luckiest guys in the world. Unfortunately, I've narrowed your coin to my name and thus cannot hashtag pay the boys. My currency is love and enthusiasm. Peepered with a starkly contrasting bleakness and that's why I'm still alive with my family at 26. It's my 27th birthday on November the 26th. This may come out before the birthday of Claire. That is also the birthday of my dear friend, Oscar.

Renowned artist, Oscar. Just Oscar? He has a surname. It's up to you. He's a vaguely reclusive guy. Fair enough. Fucking respect, man. Respect for your respectfulness.

Back to Claire. It's my 27th birthday on the 26th, and while I usually listen to every Death Blight episode on my birthday since a new episode tends to come out around the end this year as the party's ending. And as I'm about to become a real person, I've decided to do a worst idea of all, sorry, a worst birthday of all time.

Wherein I watch all three movies back to back in order and presumably have a wonderful time or momentarily lose my goddamn mind. In which case, I'm sure some quote benefits will be quote worth it. I'll let you know how I get on, smiley. Love and knowing glances from England. Claire Sedgley.

Oh boy, I probably fucked that up. You can say my name if this is on a friend zone, but don't worry about pronouncing my surname. It's made up. Good on you, Claire. Oh boy, and can I just say Happy, happy, stonking birthday And welcome to the 27 Club To both you and Oscar Well, mainly

I mean, Oscar didn't get in touch with us So I appreciate that your friend's having a birthday But, you know, Claire's the one who's gotten in touch You got a problem with me having friends? I have no problem with you having friends Except that they're not me That's alright You see what I'm saying? Yeah, here saying yeah jealousy is the name of the game here

guys found a soundboard we don't much care for jealousy but we do love monty i thought you guys should be aware of the happenings in a certain town in North Carolina. I believe it's pronounced in the way you would attempt to scare your good friend Lee in a haunted house or the like. Rah! Lee! Or perhaps more fittingly, if you were to gather a group of people to show support for an idea or movement. As in, I went to a rally in Rally. idea or movement as in i went to a rally and rally either way it turns out that the kind of people capable of voting for someone of the ilk mr trump had a convention in the boys favorite north carolina town an actual flat earth convention the world is fucked well they've written the word

fucked but i think they've just misspelled the word flat i still promise to replace the hot chips i added the earliest possible convenience. You boys are good boys and I will miss this stupid fucking podcast about this stupid fucking idea watching stupid fucking movies. I'm not crying. You are. From our friend Brad. Brad? It sounds like someone's a little cranky. Well, if you don't remember Brad,

he is the guy who accepted a beer and ate our chips across the road in Melbourne. Yeah, I remember Brad. Well. He was a good dude. That was his correspondence. I mean, it's like you're willfully pointing the microphone in the wrong way. Do you know what I mean? Are you talking to me or Brad?

Somewhat Brad. Somewhat you. But also I think we're done. There's a lot of movement going on. I got one more. Cool. I think. Dear Tim and Guy,

I was late to this journey of yours. My friend had told me for ages to listen to you as I would enjoy just the pure absurdity of your vibe chat feelings. Hey, press pause. This is on behalf of both of us. Boredom never, ever, ever that comment. Respect. Guy approves. Where I'd be without it and you, I don't know.

It also inspired me and a few friends to do a somewhat similar podcast where we have one genre of music a month, it and you i don't know it also inspired me and a few friends to do a somewhat similar podcast where we have one genre of music a month one album a week and have to listen to it once a day that sounds much more intense none this sounds cool what's it called an album a day an album that's not what it's called that's what i'm saying saying out loud. Oh, okay, okay, okay. We meet up after each week and hilarity with the lads commences. We have five episodes in, but I wanted to check,

have we stolen too much of your idea? Never. If so, I humbly apologize. I won't even tell you the name of it as that just seems too shameful, no? No, tell us. Ah, well, hope you take it in the way it was intended. Complete adoration of your efforts,

and I look forward to any more of your future projects, together or apart. Yours, and say my name, Kyle. P.S. Come to London sometime. Would love to buy your beers and shake your hands. Kyle, you're done goofed by not shouting out the name of your podcast. And let me say this. Someone could actually take the format that we've created and make their show i wouldn't be upset whatsoever do it especially because we're

ending it would i would be i would feel tremendous pride if someone um did a better job of this format than we did would you listen uh well i don't know it depends on a lot of things. But I wouldn't not. Okay. What do you want from me? I definitely would listen. Oh, okay. Okay. Hey, look at that.

Our big boy Juice McElroy is carrying the pavlova to the car. Signifying it. The wheels are in motion. Hey, listen. Can I say something, you old guy? No. You old guy. Can I? You may okay No Okay Can I You may not

May I Access denied It's Imperative Okay Are we okay We've been spending A lot of time together

Recently And I feel like This is the lowest ebb That our relationship Has had And it's been captured By microphone This friend zone

Yeah Well just recently I mean You feel our Relationship recently Has been at a low ebb? I am worried about us Are you actually worried about us? Yeah look at me and tell me that you still love me

I'll tell you Guy I still love you Tim I have no option but to still love you Yeah that's right. For at least two episodes. I'm contractually obligated to love you until the 2nd of December. And that's the beauty of Timbo. I'll take that.

I'll run with it. I'm happy. I could bank that check. That's great. Never have two people done so much with so little. Guy, I respect the hell out of you. Speaking of, on November the 29th at the Bell House Theatre in New York City, Tim and I will be kissing goodbye to the podcast in New York City

with our special guest, Maeve Higgins. Irish comedian Maeve Higgins? And writer. Fantastic. And then on December the 1st in New York City We will be kissing goodbye to the podcast once and for all With a special guest who is We're leaving that one a secret

As yet to be announced Very sexy There are still tickets available to both I think if you're in LA I would get on it ASAP And if you're in New York Come for us I wouldn't be super relaxed Sort the boys out Yeah I I would get on it ASAP. And if you're in New York, come for us. I wouldn't be super relaxed. Come sort the boys out.

Yeah, I'd still get on top of it. The tickets are a mere $15. And let me say this. We're going to have some merch on sale as well. So if you're that way inclined, we've commissioned some artwork, and I don't think we're going to see that money back. But it's all about supporting the artist, which is Strand for some of it. That's all by the by

and Cody Forks for some other that's right both generous listeners who have contributed some fantastic art we're all about

giving back that's right also while you're here I would encourage that is a reference that is wasted

on 99% of our core listenership it's Spite I would also encourage you please to listen wasted on 99% of our core listenership. It's Spite. I would also encourage you, please, to listen to the third episode of our annual Thanksgiving podcast, Till Death Do Us Blart, one in which Griffin McElroy has gone above and beyond the call of duty. Find out how at TillDeathDoUsBlart or at DeathBlart on Twitter.

Otherwise, how about this? I'll tell you what he did right now. No, don't do it. But honestly, I was so taken aback at the decision Griff made. Like, I'm still getting over it. God, he's a smart, funny man.

And he took us all by surprise. And it's magic. He really did. What he did was magic. Otherwise, please take care of yourselves and we will speak to you when we next record a podcast together

Which will be I guess on November 29th At the Bell House Theatre in New York City I love you That's for you, the listener Correct And have a good time, yes it's the friend zone With Tim and Guy Cause making friends is the best idea of all time