The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Ten

Episode Date: June 13, 2016

A friendzone in the ten zone, Timbo and GuyGuy are still in different parts of the world but luckily, also still friends. Fan mail this week from Wisconsin, Ah Kansas and SUMMERFEST! A special, brief and quiet return to a certain Partier time in our lives for a funky lil one year also. It's good to be friends. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the friend zone. It's your old mate Timbo here. And also your dear close friend and confidant, Guy Montgomery. Confidant, this is a word that doesn't get used enough outside of the political arena I feel. Whenever I hear about a confidant at the moment it's always like, Hillary Clinton's confidant and someone's fucked up something. Do you consider me a confidant? Of sorts. Do you? I confide in you during a dark time in the week.

That's a sort of confidant. No, but that's all on the public record. We're not exchanging secrets. I can't be a confidant in that respect. I'd still consider you a confidant, Guy. Absolutely. You can just call me guy if you like i'd i won't and i don't so thank you uh if if you want to hear tim and i talk about the zach efron vehicle we are your friends uh i'm sorry to report this is the this is not the place

for that this is a place for friendship um it's a place to discuss the merits of of different friendships uh friends you should keep friends you should kill it's kind of ironic considering the title of the film is we are your friends it's not this this is getting away from that but it is the friend zone that's true actually that is ironic is that irony who can say uh so we've had uh as always just so so much beautiful correspondence from from you dear listener yeah and uh what we'd like to do is is address it talk to it talk to you i always wonder about um reading these out because you know some of these are private messages they're not like public posts or anything they get sent to to us. And I'm always a bit like, oh, I wonder if they wanted this read out.

Possibly not. No, I think everyone, if I wrote a letter to anyone, I'd want it to, no matter how confidential and embarrassing, I'd want it to be broadcast across the, into, Universe.

Information superhighway. The universe, really. If those alien spaceships have good enough Wi-Fi. That's true. We're no longer on,restrial radio we're on the bloody we're in the satellites you really missed a trick by not making an extraterrestrial uh my brain is going so slowly actually we should mention this we give us some context for where you are right now, Guy. You sound strange. I'll give you some context there. Every sentence I finish, which comes out of my mouth as a fully formed idea, is a small miracle for which we should be very grateful.

I am in Sydney International Airport. I'm in the curry lounge, which is like the fancy pants. This is where there's a lot of people sitting around me sipping on a white wine at 2 50 in the afternoon it's uh it's where the bourgeoisie wait to get on the plane like the rest of us excellent and how what's um is this your first time in the quarry lounge no so i joined um i was at the airport very early on my way over to Australia for this tour. And I was just like, I just reached breaking point. I thought about it. And I went to go up and ask, can I just buy a one-off pass?

And they're like, nah. And I was like, how much is it to get a membership? And she was like, X amount of dollars. And I was like, I'm doing it. And just got my computer out, went on the internet in front of the lady at the door, bought a membership, came in. Do they not in front of the lady at the door bought a membership came in and it cost they not let you like buy a membership at the door they can't do it there you've got to do it that's so stupid i think they're missing an opportunity yeah they're

stopping like a lot of impulsive drunken airport purchases um they're just putting another you know hoop to jump through before you can get through the gate but anyway yeah i did it and came in on my first like on my way to australia as soon as i joined the lounge i was like well if i'm if i've spent this much money on i'm gonna get i'm gonna get my money's worth so i'm gonna get a hundred dollars value out of this immediately so i got in and just started slamming whiskey i had like three meals i was getting jacked up on java like and all these other people who are obviously very experienced at the Coral Lounge are just sitting around reading the newspaper waiting for the flight and I'm slapping them on the back like, can you believe this shit?

The shit's free, sort of. I was like Vince Vaughn when he crashes when he's eating all the food with the priest and he's like, this is phenomenal. Anyway, so that's where I am. I'm heading back to New Zealand. Nice one. Yeah, it's going to be so good to have you back, bro. I'm heading back to New Zealand. Nice one. Yeah.

Oh, it's going to be so good to have you back, bro. I'm excited. So let's get into some of this mailbag. Here's the first one. This will be confusing. So we've already, because I'll be back in New Zealand, but the next episode we will have watched. Oh, don't worry about that. We've already, we've done a watch prior to this

that hasn't come out yet. So you're going to hear this Friend Zone, which is after our sixth watch, I think. Seventh. But we don't need to get into it. Well, you already have gotten into it. You understand how time works. You got into it.

No, you got into it. You started it. You got into it. Well, he brought me into this. Well, he brought me into this. I've started watching from the beginning of season one of Rick and Morty again, just to get up

to speed because i think a new season's coming around the corner yeah it's so great to revisit i can't i can't remember who's the twitter handle of the person but someone caught a peep show reference i buried in the last friend zone that i completely forgot about and i was so excited so shout out to you awesome uh here's our first one hey timbo and guy guy i know a lot of uh so i'm so bad at reading i know you get a lot of mail saying this part of it is that i've got the font size so small guy i've got to open in like notepad so everything's real tiny you made that sound like part of the email this is like a stream of consciousness i'll start again hey timbo and guy guy i know you get a lot of mail saying this but this is actually the first time I've ever messaged a podcast.

That's the first time I've heard that from someone. How about you? Yeah. Long-time listener. They go on to say, I've been listening since the beginning, through all three seasons, and I'm about to hit a huge milestone. I'm about to watch Grown Ups 2 for the very first time.

I'm really excited to finally understand what all the references are about and I already realised I had David Spade mixed up with someone else. Thank you for making the podcast. I moved four hours away from home last summer to live closer to my boyfriend. That had ended by November

and I've been stuck in a new area struggling to make friends. Listening to you two regularly has been a huge help and I feel like I have two new friends. You do. Especially right now in the friend zone. We are the furthest friends. Yes, we are your friends.

Your craziness evolving into sheer and utter frustration and anger never fails to make me laugh. I understand doing this must be so difficult, and that you're already beginning to struggle with we are your friends, but I love what you're doing, and please keep going as it's my shining light of the week much love and support from charlotte kiss kiss ps i'm going to travel to new zealand in the new year so please do some live dates so i can see you uh before you finish the final season since you wouldn't come to england i'm coming to you

charlotte louise you are a gemstone you You're a gem. We are the holograms. Thank you for that. I wonder if you should put yourself out there maybe on the Facebook or if you want to grab some anonymity on the TWIOAT subreddit to say, hey, I'm looking for friends and here's where I am. My hobby is I like West Idea.

Anyone else like it and live in this area you can make real friends that way are you trying to matchmake through the podcast I am sort of yeah I just think it's a way that you could make some real life friends but also maybe don't the internet's a weird place yeah maybe just yeah I don't know you can make friends in digital or analog now. What a crazy time we live in. Absolutely. Do you want to read one, Guy?

Yes, I do, more than anything in the world. Greetings from Arkansas, USA. How many times I called that Arkansas before embarrassingly being creative. Ah, Kansas, how are you? I found your podcast last week and have been binge listening to the first season while I get work done at the office. Just got episode 35. You're living in the past, Randolph,

but it's great that you're listening. I've greatly enjoyed listening to the highs and lows of you two taking this strange trip together. Thank you, Randolph Rebrick. I like that. Just nuts and bolts. Straight down to business. Real good.

Hey, listen, boys. Here's where I'm from. Here's what I'm about. Listen to your podcast. Into it. Binge in it. Episode 35. See ya. I'm out. Bye to your podcast. Into it. Binge in it. Episode 35. See ya.

I'm out. Bye. Thanks. Also, the name Randolph Rebrick is a phenomenal name. It's like a comic book name. Yeah. You know how they always have alliteration, like Lois Lane and Clark Kent and stuff? Mm.

Is it? Yeah, I guess it's the same sound. But Clark Kent, I'd put a question mark over or an asterisk next to that alliteration on that on account of uh the c and the k being a different letter that's true is that what is alliteration the letter or the it's got to be the sound i think it's the set i don't know hey tim and guy this one actually says guy and tim but i flipped it around to put myself first you've got such a fragile little ego what What do you know that I love your show and have listened since season one?

You inspired me to start my own podcast, brackets, and to eat Blaze pizza. Where's my money, man? Where me and a pal review and discuss movies. After listening to your hilarious yet concern-ending descent into madness, we decided to watch a different movie each week. That's wise. That's very wise. We'd love a shout out

if you don't mind to help get us off the ground. Hey, it's happening right now as we speak. It's called Six Rows Back and the six is a digit. It's the numeral six. And it's on iTunes and SoundCloud. I look forward to the next episode. I don't know if that means of his or of ours.

Live every moment. Love every day. Have a good one. Oliver. Wow, there you go, Oliver. I bet you in the first episode of Six Rows Back that Oliver and his co-host justify why they think sitting six rows back is the perfect distance

at which to watch a movie well there you go, you've laid a little gauntlet down, a little bet let's see if you're right I'll read this next one, because I'm a legendary reader. I'm great at sight reading. Hey guys, I love the show.

Thanks for suffering so that the rest of us do not have to. I thought you might find it interesting there's a large annual music festival in my state of Wisconsin, USA called Summerfest, which boasts being the world's largest music festival.

So you can imagine my confusion when I heard that Zicoli Airfront was DJing Summerfest and we are your friends because it seemed insane for their goal to be to get out of the valley and into Wisconsin. We've got good beer, cheese, and apparently the biggest music fest from the world here.

But it doesn't seem like the ideal place for a tanned young man such as Zicoli to move to if he really wants to crush it with his one techno song. Anyway, you can check out more about Summerfest at summerfest.com. Thanks again, Ryan. And he's included the link to the website. All right, we'll give that a little click. I feel like he more about Summerfest at summerfest.com. Thanks again, Ryan. And he's included the link to the website. All right, we'll give that a little click. I feel like he works for Summerfest.

A lot of people have actually been reminding us or sort of correcting us that Summerfest is a real festival and that potentially it looks a bit garbage as well. I think Pitbull's headlining. Yeah, here we go. Pitbull's headlining June 30. Selena Gomez on the 29th That's good

I quite like Selena Gomez I think she's neat What do you reckon Pitbull does Day to day Dude I reckon he lives An outrageous life eh

Whenever I see a picture of him He's There's something He's communicating In that look That everything he does In his day to day Is just fucking baller.

Every time he shows up in a music video, I'm just so happy for him. I'm like, good on you, man. You're still there. Pitbull, you're still in the game. Good shit. I don't think necessarily the odds were stacked against him, but whenever he shows up in a music video,

I'm like, oh shit, Pitbull. God, I don't know how you got there, but I'm glad you did, man. I don't know that the odds weren't stacked against him, though. I don't know a lot about him. In some ways. He calls himself Pitbull. Yeah, he did.

He definitely wanted to work for his superstardom. Is Pitbull Cuban, or am I imagining that? Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes,

led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. I've got no idea. Holy shit. I've just pulled up Pitbull on Wikipedia. He was born in, oh man, this is such a mind fuck.

He was born in 81. So I was like, oh, he's so close to my age. But then he's 35, which is depressing because it means I'm not that far away from 35. Hey, you're going to have the best year of your life when you're 35. All of this is just a dress rehearsal for when you're 35. And after that, a very steep descent. Thanks, bro. Miami, Florida is where he hails from.

And that was quite depressing, guy. Thanks bro Miami, Florida is where he hails from and that was quite depressing guy I think my 36th year might be my best So take that I won't, I refuse It's a great number You can square it evenly, 6x6

I do like that You're in your mid-30s You still get away with a lot of shenanigans. 40, look, I don't know. I'm looking forward to all of these exciting new ages. You're same. I've always been happy with the age I've been. It's been good.

I told you that once, and you laughed at it. It was in season one. And you laughed at me, and you said, what did you say? I phrased it slightly differently, and I think you asked me you were like so according to you

have you just been crushing it since day one I was like yep even then when you said it I laughed I was like you're so simple

what do you mean you've always enjoyed the age you are you can't do any some people don't a lot of people don't who I talk to they're like oh

I'm either too young or too old and they like you know they never enjoy where they're at people who complain about their age, shut up. Stop complaining. Go and do something about it.

Age faster or slower. Yeah, it's a dumb thing to get upset about because you've got no control over it. I'm going to read this message from Kieran. Just wanted to share with you guys that today I got my first class honors, a one for one for my final degree, the highest you can get. So thank you, I guess. Now that's from Kieran McCusker, who was the gentleman who did his thesis

about our podcast. Like a full academic essay. It was huge. How many words was it? You read it, didn't you, Guy? I read it all, yeah. I don't know, it was a certain amount of words. Probably like 23,000, 4,000, 5,000.

Oh, longer. No, I think closer to 2,500. But hey, congratulations. That's great. And also bizarre. Yeah. That's amazing. It's great.

Good on you. Congrats, Kieran. That's all you, by the way. That's none of us. That's all you. Someone on the Facebook page... And we would invite everyone to come and join us on the Facebook page. It's where a lot of the action happens.

It is. I would say. I've actually, someone's just, I just like to say, apologize to you and to the listeners. I have, I haven't been on the Facebook page for three weeks.

I went off the whole website while I was away. And, but as soon as I touched it in New Zealand, I'll be right rolling my sleeves up and bloody digging through the message folder right back into it. I've, I've a little uh remiss if that's the word in my duties as well so sorry about that guys but i'm going to jump in right after this and start start chatting away to people and replying to messages and stuff we we like to as much as we possibly can get on top of that and read everything you've seen through so keep them keep them on coming and

sorry if there was something time critical sorry if you reached out to us because of a like a medical misadventure or something but also timing's all off like you've got to go to like don't reach out to us for medical advice or help i wouldn't advise doing it but if you did i'm just saying i'm sorry that we let you down with the timing thing we'll probably just let you down with our lack of knowledge now but there was a time component that we could have nailed. We could have got you the wrong answer on time, is all I'm saying. Someone posted to us, David Bennett, on the Facebook,

the following message, went to Summerfest, the drops were mediocre at best, and he's taken a photo of the poster for Summerfest, which happened on Saturday, June the 4th, from 11am to 5pm at Pape Village I'm not sure what state oh it's in Toronto

it's got some text on here make your way along Pap Avenue from Mortimer to Gamble for live performances great food, fun for the whole family now I don't know if this is the same Summerfest but I'm seeing a big cuddly bear like a guy in a big bear suit i'm seeing a 13 year old with a cap backwards who's playing an electric

guitar on a stage um and i think i'm seeing a man on a steel drum kit so if that's where our boys the coley's hanging out a festival that wraps up at 5 p.m and starts at 11 i don't't think this dance music's really going to pan out for the audience, you know, this particular jam. Maybe James Reid from The Feelers is all about that acoustic set, and I think that there was just a huge miscommunication between him and Ziccoli very early in their friendship. Oh, for Christ's sake. No, hold on. Hold on. We'll listen to this.

Is that you? you yeah this is me oh wow if they think I'm if they think I'm boarding the plane early and getting away from all this free food and liquid

they are fucking dreaming you don't need to bounce just yet god no okay hey well listen I want to bring this up because a few people have been talking about this on the TWIOAT subreddit, which I love going on there and seeing there's a new post and people chatting away about stuff.

It's bloody awesome because I've been a redditor for like eight years. And so it's good. It's good that there's a little community there. The post is we are your friends a vanilla ice origin story in an EDM universe? is the cool as ice so cool as ice is the name of that movie

the trailer of which I saw that I was telling you about yeah this poster has written after the cool of ice discussion notice that ice's real life best friend who first got him on stage was also named squirrel the remaining parallels between we are your friends and vanilla ice's life story were exceedingly obvious as outlined here and then there is a uh a link to an image and when you click on that link you get greeted by a um

a bit of paper that's been made to look like a treasure map because it's burned at the edges and it's got a very complicated um set of diagrams with words like vanilla ice that connect with arrows to zach efron cold carter there's love triangle with a real triangle we've got some years uh madonna tupac is involved squirrel equals squirrel if you want to make heads or tails of this i recommend clicking on the link uh it's bloody good someone that looks like someone's trying to find out who the zodiac killer is through these two movies some real real uh gumshoe reporting or old school detective work going on there depending on um what side of the fence you're on so good good on you bloody great bloody uh i want to read this one out this is on the subreddit as well it's the hole that only patty schwarzenegger can fill

i really miss that bloody theme song found the podcast when it was two weeks before season two ended. This resulted in me binging on every single episode over those two weeks to catch up. I also saved five hour energy to last. Oh, yeah, that was the audio commentary and going a little sane in the process. Anyway, my point is I really want to hear the P. Schwartz theme again due to the fact that my little one year old son would dance like a fucking boogie machine every time he heard it I still sing it with him every now and then for a giggle

but it's just not right I genuinely get goosebumps when Timbo and Gaga sing it on the live episode I guess that makes me a sad bastard I guess I don't care party on, live every moment, love every day Bye. Party time. He's riding around in your mother's jandals. Party Schwartz. Party time. Riding that rubber like a fucking legend. Party Schwartz.

Party time. He's got no circulation to his toes now. Frostbite. Sorry, that was pretty weak from me. I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself. I can completely understand. And I'm not sure how well that's going to sync up. As we're not in the same place. But we'll give it our god's honest best try um that one was for your one year old right on mate harold the beer um we might leave it there

although there's one very important thing that i need to do because um we've got a little uh paid for spot on this one guy oh i don't like to pull the wool over people's eyes and be like, oh hey, here's a brand that I'm just really passionate about. But, as you guys know, we only deal with people who we trust. We have said no to people who want to advertise on the podcast before because we didn't think it was right for that particular person

or people to be involved. But who I want to tell you about are Omni which are the podcast platform that we're on now so when we started we were on libsyn who are the big dogs and they've been around for donkeys and then i met um when we were in la this like kind of been around for donkeys is a turn of phrase to uh show the passing of time by the way for those of you struggling people not know that i just think that yeah being around for donkeys is a standalone

statement is uh fairly obtuse i reckon people know what anyway um omni omni's who we're with uh talk to the guy they're very persistent keep emailing me being like dude just just try us out try us out and i was like oh god fine give account. And so I have, and they're fucking awesome. They're really good. They're based in Australia, but anyone in the world can use them. And they're just like, it's very, I think their whole website's built in HTML5,

if that means anything to you. So it's just very like modern and everything kind of clicks in and works and they're integrated player. If you put it on your own website, it looks real pretty. And they're really good guys to deal with as well if you want to check them out go to omni studio.com which is o-m-n-y uh studio.com um they're really good and they're who we're with now and uh we've got some some exciting stuff coming up uh that we're kind of working with

them on at the moment um i won't say anything more about that because it'll come out later and uh you know you don't want to tease shit out and then it falls no you don't get disappointed so um yeah they're fucking great if you have ever wanted to make a podcast if you have a podcast now uh hit them up people get an account have a play around, contact Omni Studio. We need more podcasts. There's not enough options. We know this.

I've been saying this for ages. We just need more. I've been saying it for donkeys. Hey, this has run on and people are leaving around me now, so I'm starting to get a bit antsy in my pantsy. All right, all right. Hey, Guy, thanks very much for joining us from the airport. I can't wait to see your shining face again.

It's been too long. Yes, yes, my boy, yes. Thank you so much for spending time with us Yes I will echo that and sorry for cutting you off Yeah we love all of you Keep listening please or else we are nothing We will dissolve like the wicked witch of the west In sugar water I actually would really like if this year our listeners

Dropped off to the point that So it was a perfect mirror so by the end of the podcast no one was listening in the same way no one was listening at the start what a terrible wish i think you're gonna regret uh putting that putting that down in the friends yeah i can't wait for one person who used to like it and doesn't like it anymore to go well guess what you're exactly fucking right i'm sick of it it's garbage go fuck yourself whoever you are hypothetical. Thank you so much for listening. All right. And a new episode will be up

very shortly after this goes up. So lots of bloody content for you folks. Catch you soon. Bye. Bye.