The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Thirty Two

Episode Date: December 29, 2016

Time of the annual 2016 Friendzone/TWIOAT Top Seven Countdown for The Year! Timbo and Flash undertake bringing you the best seven moments of 2016 in between giving you letters of car crashes, hats, Grown Ups 2 watches and more! Enjoy as we usher in 2017 and even more watches of We Are Your Friends. Not for you though - just for your humble fucboiz - G&T! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy. Come to the friend zone and have a good time. Yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy. Cause making friends is the best idea of all time. Welcome to the friend zone, number 32, with your two friends, Tim Batt and... Guy Montgomery. Great throw. Thank you. It was a good pitch, it was a good delivery.

Yeah. And then you knocked it out of the park with your own name, and the Nick of Time guy. We're winding down what has been a bumper year in the world of friendships. You couldn't deny how big it's been. And that's why this friend zone is going to be our annual countdown for the year. Oh, wow. Yeah. So in between all of the correspondence that we'll be reading of the people who listen to

The Worst Idea of All Time, which is a podcast in which Guy and I watch and review the same movie once a week, every week for 52 weeks. This year we're doing We Are Your Friends. In between, in betwixt those letters, we're going to be counting down our seven best moments of 2016.

Okay. That's quite a nice sort of public broadcast-y touch to things, doesn't it? Isn't it? It's because I'm taking this podcast to the airwaves, baby. We're going to make it a radio show, but not the worst idea, just the friendzone bits. It's us getting a slot, reading fan mail. Terrible. As always, for context, Tim and I, in different places, as we are occasionally want to be.

Tim, where are you? Right now I'm in the Little Empire studio, which is where I like to hang out, in Auckland, New Zealand. Ah, a beautiful place to be. And you, Guy? Your masturbatorium, as you were calling it before we started recording. I never said that. Masturbatorium, as you were calling it before we started recording. I never said that.

I am in sunny Queenstown, the jewel of the South Pacific. It really is. I'm looking out. Full of British people, though. On Lake Wakatipu. And it's a fine and clear day here. A bite in the air this morning that promises to burn off for a truly sweltering afternoon. Very good. Of fun in the sun.

Do you know how many people are going to stay in this small house that I'm living in right now? How many? There will be 20. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Before you answer that, how many people do you think should be in that house? How many is it designed for? At a push? 16?

Oh, okay. That's a big house, dude. There's a lot of space. There's not a lot of beds. There's a lot of space. Do you want to know the actual number of people who are going to stay here? Yeah. 27.

Jesus Christ. Oh, boy. You're going to have quite a time. That number is altogether too high. See people, this is what happens when you get a property market that's out of control. People just start squatting in houses as collectives and they form their own little cities. This is how Houston started. This is exactly how Houston started.

This is what the New Year's event page is called on Facebook. Houston 2.0 houston version 2 um all right guys well let's rip into the letters and the um countdown which i have now committed us to which will be interesting coming in at number seven best moment of 2016 uh it's got to be uh that bit where bernie sanders was giving a speech in from memory portland oregon and the little birdie came and flew into the room and uh sat upon his lectern a true symbol of peace and friendship like snow white. It was like Snow White. Yeah. That's great. And now I'll read a letter, eh? I'll read some correspondence.

Yeah, sure. Hello, Womble of Timbly Wimbledon, and who's that? Guy Montgomery. Who's that? It's Guy. Been meaning to write to you for quite some time now, as I've been an avid listener to you guys since the humble beginnings of Season 1. Your party, plus other little empire titles have been consistent travel partners to me on a year traveling the world humble brag and now on my daily commute in the big smoke last year i met

guy and rose at the edinburgh festival after running to watch their amazing show on my work break such as my love for the cheeky work of you Kiwi comedians. What do you think of the word cheeky, Tim? I think it is apt. That's correct usage. We are cheeky. We're cheeky people. Tell you who uses the word cheeky. That is cafes who put alcohol on their breakfast menu.

And instead of being like, you know, you could throw your life away by having this mimosa at 8.30, they're like, a cheeky breakfast drink. There's nothing about throwing your life away just because I want a bloody Mary at 9 o'clock in the morning. No, there's not. I know. I know. I kind of want Rose to be my best friend.

Can you make that happen? I'd be a hashtag matter fan for life. Tim, oh, you're about to get some real nice things said to you, bro. Oh, leave it out then. No, no, no. To be honest, we don't need it. Tim, your talents stretch no end, and I love the Little Empire Podcast Network

with Walkout Boys and Boners of the Heart being two of my firm podcast faves, along with you and Guy, of course. In fact, so often do I make a fool of myself on public transport from laughing too much listening to all your work. Particular highlights include Prawn Salad, the inception of the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour, and the Jack Reacher episode of Walkout Boys. Had to pause a number of times as I was crying with laughter.

I've just signed up to the Patreon, so I can't wait to hear more of your work. I would love if you could read this out on the Friend Zone so I can be part of the worst editor of all time history. And feel free to use my name, Guy. Live every moment of java all hell the rat king and get sentimental yours louise watson london england london town england that really sounds like i've written most of that it does and also the profile photo is it looks like you've just photoshopped a woman's face on your body. It's pretty transparent, dude. But I reckon I've got a good little bod for a woman. Tim, you've got a great bod.

For a woman? In general, you've got a great bod. Oh, thanks, guy. Hey, and thanks, Louise. That's very sweet i'm glad um that you appreciate it it's uh it's it's great bring it all to you that walkout boys episode walkout boys is a podcast where our mates and comedians joe and nick go to a movie but they have to leave at exactly the halfway point and from memory that they went and saw jack reacher

and posited that it's actually i think an earbud movie it's like the latest earbud and all the jack reacher's are earbud movies but no one's quite figured it out yet it's bloody it's good listen oh those boys they are silly i shy away from those from those compliments but i do appreciate it it's bloody lovely um alicia wait the countdown continuesues I'm sorry Sorry Off you go Coming in

At number 6 In the year 2016 Our annual Highlight countdown Yeah At 6 Was when

The mighty Blackcaps Got up and Defeated The dastardly Australian One day International

Cricket team At Seddon Park in Hamilton making the Chabal Hadley series ours and ensuring we would hold the trophy through most of 2016. Highlights of their match included Mitchell Marsh one of the most attestable men in cricket hitting the ball into his foot and being caught from it and then being given out and his face being on the big screen the whole time he walked off the pitch he was upset the crowd was so aggressive that steve smith during his concession speech said something along the lines of we didn't get all the calls today and the crowd lustily booed him for the remainder of his time speaking it was truly a great time for new zealand

creek so well executed that was a good moment well done you I felt like I was there at the big game the bigger cricket game Elisa has written to us and not only that guy she's given us some goddamn money

which continues to blow my mind that people out there in the real world are taking our virtual thing which exists only as bits and bytes, and they're exchanging it for cold, hard cash. Giving us real money. Hi there, Timbo and GuyGuy. I'm making this donation as a Christmas gift for my lovely, significant other. I will pause at this point.

Sorry, Guy. This is Tim. You've got Tim again. Tim's in the room. This was sent in a little while ago. I'm trying to do something that escaped my gaze the first time, so this is from December the 11th. No worries.

Making this donation is a Christmas gift for my lovely significant other, Dr. Ian Holmes. As a doctor, Ian knows that laughs are key to a healthy lifestyle and recommends listening to The Worst Idea of All Time at least twice a week. Ian is a huge fan of your show and often spends the day after listening to your latest episode trying to perfect his own Kiwi accent. It goes about as well as when Guy attempts a Scottish accent.

If you happen to read this aloud on the friend zone, please give a shout out to Ian and let him know a donation has been made in his name. Sorry, to the greatest podcast of all time. And not to worry, I got him another gift as well. Happy holidays, Alyssa. I like Alyssa knows us well enough to know that we were worried that was the entirety of the gift.

Like get him to give a goat to a village in Africa before you make him give his heart and medicinal money. We are terrible businessmen, eh? Every time that someone gives us money, we shun it because it's built into our Kiwi DNA that we shouldn't have it. It's someone else's money. I think it's part of our ramshackle charm. Maybe.

Or part of the reason I owe the Inland Revenue Department some money. Time for number five on our annual top seven countdown of 2016 ladies and gentlemen uh my fifth favorite moment this year of course um there's no doubt about it it's it's that day when i decided to go down to the domain um and and just hang out in the sunshine. I took a day off. It was a few months ago, just after Pokemon Go was released to the world, and I did a jolly big walk around a beautiful garden

that we've got in our own city in Auckland, often overlooked, right next to the hospital there in Grafton, the domain. Beautiful. Beautiful. I love it. I love the personal touch that you have you have provided us with that was number five um may i dip into another letter that was is long overdue yeah i

think we're gonna run into some problems here tim because i also have uh letters that are long overdue but i see you read away okay liam says hey jim and time i recently was browsing netflix and came across grown-ups too i thought what the hell it's saturday night got nothing better to do and started watching i have to say i thoroughly respect you two gents for sitting through that 52 times however i have a few points to discuss that you could possibly talk about on the friend zone number one whenever shack appears the scene instantly gets better he seems like a real joy to work with number two at the start of the movie when the deer runs out of the house the mailman drops his mail which includes a package is the contents of this package known or is it similar

to the macbook pro box changing from week to week three at the party a character who i can't remember i'm sure you you two pros might was dressed as donald trump i don't remember. I'm sure you two pros might. Was dressed as Donald Trump. I don't remember that. Could this possibly have affected the votes in the recent election? Almost definitely. Also, in the final party scene, I noticed a familiar face among the frat boys. Who else but Lane from PBMC2. What's he doing in there? Would love to hear your theories.

What is PBMC? Paul Blart. Mall Cop 2. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Sorry. there we'd love to hear your theories what is pbmc paul blart oh shit oh my god sorry oh you fuck it is lane who's lane yeah he's um he's a disney kid he's the one that paul blight's daughter falls in love with oh yeah link is it no his name's not link is it no but i know who you're talking about um he's in grown He's in Grown Ups 2. He's a Pratt boy. Yeah, yeah. That's so dumb.

His name is fucking Lane, which is said in the email. And I just tried to give him a new name that starts with L, despite the fact that I just read his correct name from Paul Blart. We'll call him Link. And after humiliatingly being defeated by the old fogies humiliatingly being defeated by the old fogies at the annual um crusade to the death and wherever in new hampshire wherever yeah it is new hampshire um lane retired to the the cushy life of working as a bellboy in las vegas nevada do you remember the donald trump at the party because i don't vaguely there's there's about a billion characters in that scene

um but good spotting sharp eyes liam way to way to go guy way to watch back coming in at number four for the annual worst leader of all time top seven countdown for 2016 we have when the golden state warriors blew a 3-1 lead in the nba finals never happened before it spawned a very hilarious week to remainder remaining part of the year on the internet um and it was just it was great it was just great it was great sports great to see sports at its pinnacle really and uh a sort of a sidebar highlight from that was so it became a meme on the internet that uh people would say and the Warriors blew a three like the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead uh and Andrew Bogut who was a player a center an Australian center for the that very team of the Golden State Warriors was tweeting online he was upset because some people were going, why do you follow these accounts, these sort of right-leaning accounts?

People don't like it when athletes mix their personal opinions with their personal Twitter accounts. And he said, what's the definition of a good social justice warrior? Goddamn, shaking my head, they're all idiots. And then someone tweeted back, at least good social justice warrior god damn shaking my head they're all idiots and then someone tweeted back at least the social justice warriors didn't blow a 3-1 lead against the cleveland cavaliers and the internet rejoiced very good okay uh and now execution of a meme a letter hi timbuk2 and guyana and hello to to you. I met you boys in LA at the Now Hear This podfest. The Now Hear This fest.

And I bought a pay the boys beanie in an effort to make America cost neutral again. Is this a woman whose name starts with A? No. Oh, okay. However, it's mid-December, typically the height of American winter, and the weather forecast is in the 60s the rest of the week. Being new to the LA area, I may have overestimated my need for a winter cap. Mid-December, typically the height of American winter, and the weather forecast is in the 60s the rest of the week. Being new to the LA area, I may have overestimated my need for a winter cap.

I'm happy to contribute to the cause, but I'd also like to actually wear my worst idea of all time slash trendy gear. Am I insane, or did you boys imagine snack, mention snack bags with the pay the boys design? I looked for them online, but couldn't find them. Can I buy one? Because after all, tis the season, this is before christmas to buy things you already sort of own even though you are up to your gilson's student debt and still haven't bought anyone christmas gifts maybe i'll just give everyone a kiss because a kiss is always a gift best carer from twitter good on you carer

from twitter um i recognize carer from twitter she tweets at us and she's great. Correct. And I think I remember her at the fest as well, I think. We shook her hand. Hey, here's the situation with the hats. I thought they were on the merch store, but they're not. It turns out we got them specially made, which is part of the reason they were so gosh darn expensive,

Guy. And we've got a big cardboard box full of the buggers. So, what that might turn into um going i've been threatening this behind closed doors is that we will be doing a limited merch tour in new zealand um yeah because it is legally dubious to travel with merch and not declare it to customs and pay uh taxes and don't think too much about how we got them back yeah don't we don't need to analyze that too much i think we did explain that story in one of the episodes i'm just saying you don't need to bore yourself with the details everyone so the long and short of it

is we have the hats you can't have the hats yet but um yeah get thebacks back into circulation. We might need to connect with some other people. If you're real desperate to get one, send us a message, and maybe I'll just post one to you. If it's just a personal to, maybe I can just get one in the mail to you. You're a loose cannon, Timbert.

I love it. Natalie. Wait. Oh, God. Natalie. Wait. But spelt... Oh, God. It's your turn. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for number four? Three. You did seven.

I did six. You did five. I did four. Number three already. Wow. Number three. And this one's going to feel like it's in bad taste, but it's not really. It was the aftermath of the death of David Bowie.

Not the death of David Bowie. The aftermath. Because this year has been full of topsy-turvy ups and downs. That was probably David Bowie's passing was the biggest kick in the nuts. But every now and then, it's nice to know that the whole world can unite around the fantastic work the life work of an artist in the true sense of the world a rebel a groundbreaker a talent a musician a fashion icon uh a philosopher a dope dude a great guy and I think a good ish dad I think at least

so it was nice that everyone got united about how sad they were about him because there's been lots of things this year where people have been on the opposite sides of things I don't think anyone was on the opposite side of appreciating how great David Bowie was and now here's a letter from natalie hey tim obsessed with

your podcast my name's natalie and i work oh wait is this work or is this this doesn't feel like a friendzone email she's from a business but i like the opening and i will definitely mark to read that later I'm gonna I'm gonna come to I'm gonna come to your rescue And steal this spot No no no no no Yo yo yo Cause I've got

No no no no no Sly guy stir fry Oh boy Off you go And cumulo timbus That's good Thanks for all the guffaws It's been said a lot

But damn if it ain't true The Annex YouTube fuckboys Have gotten me through A lot of fucked up shit From moving across the country to having my ex arrested to starting my first real job listening to you two

lose your mind really puts things into perspective I'm glad that's your take and now I've got this fancy degree a bunch of money

and it can't all go to anime boobs how much money would we have to throw at you guys to get your mugs on postage stamps I've already joined

the Deciders Club, if that helps. Anyway, y'all are national treasures. Thanks again, and remember, PCP, bad for me. From Sydney. That is a good thing to remember. Can I just say as well, I'm going to endeavor to try and get

the first bit of Patreon stuff out there. Lickety split. Look, it's the holiday period. I've been away away that's no excuse um i apologize for the lateness i i did want to try and get it out before christmas but then i i went away i've been out of town um doing the family families thing you know we want we want to get that content to the people guy we're going to get it out there you're not wrong we watched jingle all the way twice um very close to christmas and uh you will get the results of that which was the deciders club their first decision the inaugural one and we did a very weird thing called the millionaires club which i i look

forward to uh the reaction to yeah yeah that's going to be an interesting one um rory writes if you read please yes oh here's number two it's the annual worst idea of all time top seven moments of 2016 coming in at number two what are you gonna say quickly tim i was just going to say, what I like about this is that we had the forethought to annually do the top seven of 2016. Yeah, I know. In 2015, we'll be doing the top seven of 2016. And in 2017, we will again be doing the top seven of 2016.

This is the best year to be doing this. You're not wrong. This one's more of a personal highlight but something i really enjoyed was um during the edinburgh fringe festival i saw a stand-up comedy show by a friend and comedian nish kumar and the show was called action speak louder than words unless you shout the words real loud and it was the best stand-up comedy show i saw in 2016 a great compliment everyone should follow nish kumar on twitter he is a talent and he's already pretty famous but he could be more famous yeah he's at mr nish kumar he's a lovely dude really Really nice guy. The nicest. Right.

Here it is. Front loading with the number two moment of 2000. I just did number two. Yeah, I know. But now it's, oh, God. So this is number one, is it? No, well, we do a letter first and then you do number one. No, you just flipped it up for that one. We usually lead with the number.

I'm going to get us back on track for number one. No, no, no. We can't have back-to-back moments of the countdown. Well, guess what, guy? I'm doing it because there are no rules. That was the whole point of us doing We Are Your Friends, to show everyone that there is no rules. There is no structure to this.

Okay, well, I mean, if you want to... Coming in at number one for the 2016 annual top seven friend-zoned worst idea of all time yearly countdown. It was, of course, the signing of the Paris Agreement, which a vain attempt to try and take us off our destructive planetary-ending course of burning fossil fuels that will consume the planet before long, creating an uninhabitable environment for generations to come. But we thought, let's sign a document and shake our heads about it

and pat ourselves on the back and say congratulations. Because while we are still on a warpath as we march towards the destruction of our home earth, we can at least slow things down so it happens in a much more painful and long-winded way. If anything, maybe maybe and this this seems like um perhaps and i don't like to mix the friend zone in politics maybe something that could happen under the the trump administration and i simply say that because he has a a very unique

way of looking at the world and he does things differently and he doesn't um pay a lot of credence to protocol doesn't he just maybe they could start their own agreement where they're actually, you know, the general scientific consensus seems to be we've come too far anyway. Let's speed it up. Let's burn more fossil fuels and just get this over and done with. Yeah, let's enjoy ourselves while we can.

Let's have the biggest party just absolutely polluting everything. Well, I'm glad you brought this up, Tim, because I, next year, will officially be on record on national television in New Zealand as outing myself as a staunch climate change denier. That's right, and I think you drag your perceived employer with you. This is related to a TV show that Guy hosts here in New Zealand

called Fail Army, which is a real treat. Yeah, I can even find some interesting stuff on there. It's like America's Funniest Home Videos. I've even got the bit of script up. I'll do this before we get to the next video. Please do. Great bit of script. So it's me and Joseph Moore from the Walkout Boys.

We host it together. And Joseph says, Nothing says Christmas like a family gets after a video of a family jumping into a creek nothing says christmas and this was a christmas special which will be released that was the implication in april nothing says april sorry nothing says christmas like a family getting together to try and jump over a creek and then i say i bet one thing that family's asking for next christmas is a smaller creek with less water in it. And Joseph says,

well, thanks to global warming, they may get their wish. And then Guy says, come on, Joseph, it's Christmas. Can't we avoid talking about politics just once? And then Joseph says, I'm sorry, I know you're a staunch climate change denier.

And I say, I sure am. If it's really happening, why hasn't the minister at my church said anything about it? And then what happens is like about 100 New Zealanders write very angry messages at my Twitter account. Yeah. Did that happen? It hasn't been released yet. Oh, good.

I'm looking forward to the destruction of Guy Montgomery online. Oh, yeah. Rory, look, this is weird. The first thing that strikes you about this email when you open it is a screenshot of James Blunt's Twitter account, the top bit of his Twitter account. This is from someone who says at the top, if you read this, please don't use my name

because i am a para boy paranoia boy dear quimbly spinley and guy mcnull mcnology mcnology it is long it is long been taken as a fact this season of the podcast that the fuck boys were just their ignorant boys with no notion of what it takes to be successful in the music industry this seemed a sensible conclusion owing to the ludicrousness of that quote the guy who made instagram end quote scene however captain side stream captain side stream however and the fever to rightfully mock the boys but can i just go through the spelling of how he spelt boys in this one? He's changed the spelling of boys every time he's put it in the email. This one is B-W-A-Y-O-I-J-Y-S.

In the fever to rightfully mock the boys, one piece of sage advice was disregarded as being just another erroneous motto the boys claim to be claimed that to be successful all you need is one song this was heartily scorned and scoffed at by you the brave boys but little did you know that this hypothesis is entirely accurate recently james blunt multi-platinum recording artist sitting on a hefty net worth of $18 million US, announced a new album set for 2017 and making light of the terrible fever dream that has been 2016 in the process. Old Blunty Boy is quite well known for his Twitter japes and comedic jokes, and his album announcement reminded me of this. I logged into the Twittersphere, went to his account, and was stunned at what I found. There, right there in his bio, is the answer. I logged into the Twittersphere, went to his account, and was stunned at what I found. There, right there on his bio,

is the answer. I've attached the image below. And his bio is, James Blunt, cottony rhyming slang for the good stuff. Proof that one song is all you need.

He's being tongue-in-cheek and self-referential there because James Blunt in fact had two Smash songs from his debut album Back to Bedlam Of course You're Beautiful Which was the one he was best known for

And then of course There was also Goodbye My Lover I don't know that one Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend. Anyway. Unnamed Paranoia Boy, thanks for the screenshot. That email feels like it was too long to make the point,

but I appreciate it. This one comes from Kieran. You may read my name, goddammit, McCusker. Hey, that's a familiar name. Sup, boys? Just wanted to let you know about and thank you guys for inspiring me and my mate Jericho, a fellow long-time fan of the podcast, to finally start up our own daft cinematic party. Another effort in pointlessness and frustration, which listening to the Walkout Boys also persuaded us to go ahead with.

Our setup, which shares some similarities with the walkout boys also persuaded us to go ahead with our setup which shares some similarities with the walkout boys has jericho and i go into the cinema every week and seeing half of a film each we swap over at the midway point using the same ticket and sitting in the same seat and try to piece together the film after and podcast it's called trading places we have three episodes out so far which have seen us just desecrate and mistreat inferno a streetcar named bob and sully inferno i thought that was one movie inferno a streetcar named bob and sully but no there's a movie called inferno and a movie called a streetcar named bob and sully bad standard 2 in the pipeline we're still developing it each week and our recording

devices remain a bit primitive but it'll be a pleasure if you guys gave a listen see what you thought see if i can help guy improve his atrocious scottish accent winky face shameless social media plug before i end we're at trade place pod on twitter and on facebook and you can find us on itunes at simply trading places podcast as your brilliant potty draws to an end we hope another one begins live every moment and love every day my friends karen ps looking forward to the we are your friends director's commentary a highlight of each season of the podcast can't wait to hear what max and joseph have to say absolutely i'm looking forward to that too and it did occur to me recently that that has got to be sneaking up oh it's got to be soon that's got

to be real soon but we've got to be in the same place for it so it won't be the next episode but it might be the one after that i actually don't know um how this is oh there's someone behind you there guy you've got i've got you in the um video skype and someone just walked right by you and it freaked me out everyone's having a good time this it's beautiful sunny outside they were catching up reflecting on the night there was maybe making plans for the day that will be well let's not let you get it back into your friends just yet because i've got a couple more bits of correspondence i want to read before we wrap this puppy up so i've still got so many oh do you really well we've got to put a cap on it at some point this is you know but i'm still clearing always leaving wanting more i'm still clearing emails from uh the 18th of december that's all right this this

next one comes to us from the 15th of december so it wins and it's from connor who gave us 15 dollars dude and that's 15 us which is uh as you know bless you 800 000 schmeckles in new zealand you boys are good boys but you boys are fuck boys here to Ziccoli meeting up with SJP and Sandler for the trilogy finale episode. Now that I've paid you, we've formed a contract. Should have thought of that, you dips. Shout out to Ryan. And that is from Connor.

I'm going to say B is how his last name starts because I don't know if he wants his full name on there. Good message, Connor. Here's one for you, Tim. All right, Gim and Ty. Hopefully you guys catch this before the next Friend Zone. I've been catching up on this series,

binge listening as I travel across the country, and I'm loving the state you guys get yourself into just to be able to put up with this film. I looked so crazy on the tube the other day because I lost my shit laughing so hard when Tim was under the table in your episode with Rhys. Oh, yeah. It was a rare moment

of vulnerability from Tim at that podcast. In two weeks I'm packing up all my stuff and flying across the globe to explore your beautiful country of New Zealand as a

solo traveler. Please tell me that you're doing some live recordings as I want to come see one so badly or that you guys are doing stand up so that I can come and see.

Uh oh. I'm starting in Auckland. This is on the come and see uh oh I'm starting in Auckland this is on the 18th of December I'm starting in Auckland and will be there for New Year's Eve have you got any

recommendations of how to spend the night or what to do in the city got a week there and hoping to see some comedy and do some rock climbing if there are any Auckland based

worst city of all time listeners who have any tips slash willing to go to a comedy gig or something with me that would be awesome too keep up the amazing work all my love Charlotte Ironside.

P.S. You can say my whole name because I think my surname is pretty awesome. I'm a teacher and the kids think I'm a transformer because of my surname. God damn it, that is cool. Charlotte, here's my recommendation. And this is going to sound a bit promo-y, but there's a new music festival in town called

wonder garden that's happening in auckland yes i would go to that absolutely in fact there might even be a way guys send me that message i might um i might pull a few strings and see if i can get charlotte for being a listener who has come to New Zealand to our fair town. I think I might be able to get her a ticket for free to that. But it's like $90 or something if it's not, and it's got some really great, great, great New Zealand artists. And it's its first year, so everyone who's in town should go and get amongst. I'm just going to do that right now, Tim, so I don't forget.

Oh, good on you. Yeah, good on you, mate. May I read you a message while to do that right now Tim So I don't forget Good on you mate May I read you a message while you do that Guy You may Timothy Romero Bat and Guy Burt Sylvester Montgomery Dig the podcast, dig the friendzone It's a wonderful way for all us friends

To show how we appreciate each other And share happy thoughts Have you ever wondered if anyone's ever died While listening to the podcast jesus that took such a sharp turn i think i came close i was cruising down the highway listening to the last episode of my car stereo when one of the tires blew and sent me rolling luckily i was able to crawl out of the now upside down vehicle oh my god and listen and finish listening to the episode uh uh on my phone at the hospital despite down vehicle oh my god and listen and finish listening to the episode

on my phone at the hospital despite me being covered in blood and wearing a neck brace you ended the episode by telling me i look fabulous i'm completely okay now and have a renewed energy to both live every moment and love every day might have to get a shirt speaking of how did you all decide who got the cunctus tattoo i can't imagine a guy was jumping for that one or maybe i can anyway just wanted to say thank you for keeping me entertained on a pretty crummy day good job dudes i like to think uh sorry i i'd like to have sent this as a donation but look you've already got me for $5 a month. There it is. Love, Eric.

No last name. God damn. Read that by accident. What does that mean? Read that by... I don't know what that means. Eric, holy smokes, man. I hope you're okay now. That was sent on the 16th, so it's been two weeks.

I hope the neck brace is off. Maybe it's not um and it wasn't too much of a hindrance for your christmas that is full-on a vehicle flipped dude yeah vehicle did flip man alive um i know that people have listened to the podcast during sex before which for my money is the opposite i think you blocked an orgasm yeah Yeah, I did. Yes. Yeah. Which is not something I'm proud of. It's funny, though. I'll never be proud of that. Dear boys, and also to answer your question, I think probably someone has died listening to the podcast.

And I don't think a podcast has made it until that's happened. Okay. Another letter. Thank you, Eric. Dear boys, my brother and I have just undergone grown-ups too for as we repeatedly yelled before during and after this colossal mistake our boys while we've always held you in the highest regard and admired your titanic achievement we have a few comments we felt as we took the grown-ups to ride that you have undersold nick swartzen's performance

while overplaying john lovitz now Now, we love Lovitz. We loved his performance. We loved I'm Having a Wonderful Time. But we felt that the delivery on Say It's True, even if it isn't, was weak. We'd been waiting for that moment because we hold firm to the dictum to live every single one of those things,

but found that his delivery was buried in the general garbage pile cast of that scene. However, Nick Swartzen climbing into the bed at the top of that scene however nick swartzen climbing into the bed at the top of the interminable kmart sequence was both of our shining lights unequivocally as per the drinking game rules we both slapped ourselves and drank because we actually laughed get it out of me was a genuinely good line i'm not too proud to admit this also the first raft explosion in kmart elicited a genuine lol we both felt that this man had real potential and we were surprised that you did not respond to him

in the same way that we did. However, we are in emphatic and vivid agreement that Brayden is a warlock and we would follow him into battle against either Brady the Rat King or Dick Bot. He's a force of nature and his powers have never truly been tested. He's the unsung hero of the worst age of all time saga

and we want to state here and now for the record that we are team Braden thank you for doing what you do you're good boys, you're brave boys and we send you kisses because they're always gifts, XOXO at least two gifts, Jamie and Rob FYI, you are welcome to read my name as I'm sure you've already done

I am on the I'm putting myself on the record as saying I love that letter. And here's why. Had a lot of touchstones to prove that they're big fans. They've been listening for a long time. They've really dug into it and they've experienced what we've experienced now vis-a-vis grown-ups too.

But they're not in dead agreement with us on everything. And those are my favorite kind of people. Clever people who are into a thing and not just blindly following everyone else along god bless you brothers you are good boys they are good boys a lot they're goodies what do you want to do i want to touch i want to touch them on the butt i i just want to give them a little rub on the ear like the top of the air where there's the cartilage. Give them a little bit of that. That's what I would like to do to those brothers. And I would like to

not concede, but entertain the notion that Nick Swanson delivered a better performance than we gave him credit for. You guys, we have gone fabulously over time on this one. We're going to let Guy get back to his wonderful holiday. I'm going to get in a car quite soon

and travel up to the north of New Zealand and see some cool beaches for a few days and do some camping. Love to all of you. We'll be watching We Are Your Friends very soon, which will be interrupting our New Year's plans, no doubt, as we just want to do through our lives. Have a happy New Year,

and may 2017 truly be the year of you thriving in a way you haven't thrived before. You may have thought you've thrived, but that was merely a blip on the thriving radar. Yeah. Relative to what lies ahead of you. May Brady bless your path. May Dickbot vanquish your enemies may uh captain sidestream deliver you riches beyond your wildest imagination and may adam sandler deliver to you the laziest funnest times with your friends and And may Kevin provide you with one free ride on his Ferris wheel. The tragic, tragic Ferris wheel.

Okay, bye everybody. Bye now. Wait, do we need to tell them to do anything? I can't remember. Do what you want. Honestly, it's the holidays. Leave me alone. Well, it's the friend zone.

With Tim and Guy. Come to the friend zone. And have a good time. Yes, it's the friend zone. With Tim and Guy. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try... Maybe it's like canon that he's a dog. It's made very clear and they're like, well, no one coming to the second movie hasn't seen the first. We don't have to spend a long time explaining that he's a dog in a man suit.

The third act reveal of the first Jack Reacher is that he's a dog. And this is a series of beloved books. It's because he's a dog that everyone loves this dog dressed as a man who is really good at helping people out of sticky situations. It's not like Harry Potter begins and it's like, Harry Potter 7 begins and it's like,

he's a wizard and muggles are people. They don't have to explain. They assume you know. So I guess in this one they just assume you know that he's a dog in a man suit.