The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Twenty Eight

Episode Date: November 25, 2016

GuyGuy and TimTim are very thankful for all their lovely fans and their excellent messages of support. The Flash is back to doing voices, Batman is delving into horoscopes. There are some truly, TRULY excellent fanmail in this zone so: Get. It. In. You.Trailer: Boners of The Heart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. Come to the friend zone and have a good time.

Yes, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time. Hello and welcome to the friend zone with Tim and Guy. We've just wrapped up the recording of episode number 24

and now we're off into friend zone 28. Sounds about right. It's confusing to have two numbers which are so similar, yet still distinctly far apart. I often struggle with the idea that siblings aren't all the same age, or that every person I meet isn't the exact same age as the person I met before them. So you can imagine... How have you gotten this far in life?

That's a real deficit. life well you'd be surprised how frequently age doesn't come up okay i have the assumption i have learned through social conditioning that it does not warrant mentioning in conversation because people find it very confusing and assume the worst of me after that look for all the newcomers come all ye faithful bring your unwashed and triumphantphant. Your poor, your broken armed. Bring them to us. Come ye. Lend us your hearing receptacles.

To. Patriots. Eth. Lehem. What this is is an in-betweeny bit of the podcast. It's a.5 of an episode called The Friend Zone. When we celebrate our friends that we've gained over the internet. And we like to talk to our friends as a hello to our friends and thank you to our friends i used to try and

keep all my friends in one physical space and it was grueling for everyone involved so the advent of the internet has been such a boon for me yeah to know that all of my friends are in one space uh what's a zone that's the whole thing of it now and there's the difference between a space and a zone anyone can be in the zone it's hard for everyone to be in the space um listen if you if you enjoy our podcast let me put this out there there's a few different ways that you can support us you could throw us a little note you could send us a wee message on the facebook facebook.com worst idea of all time uh you could go to our website which is worst idea of all time.com and uh there's a bit there where you could throw some money at us through PayPal,

and you can include a little message for a donation. Or you could put it on social media. You could tell people to listen to the show, or if you listen to the show and you have for a while, you could leave a review maybe on iTunes. That's helpful. It's very helpful. We never tell anyone to do that.

I know. Every other podcast I listen to is always like, have I sullied us by doing it nah here's here's where i think we're at now guy we've got about six months to go i think we need to cash in to the absolute maximum dude i hear you we have done such a poor job of monetizing this thing we are at a i haven't done the math but there is no doubt in my mind that we are we've lost a little bit of money so far with the merch disaster

look can we not dredge this it's fine it's in the past and we're okay we're okay it's fine we're paying our rent

reading our dinners we're okay yeah look let's dive into the old mailbag shall we the old

middly biddly diddly do yeah I would like to kick things off with a message on the facebook we got sent it a little bit ago and uh if we don't do it now we may never remember to do it in the

first place could i read this to you yes hi boys my name is heaven and i'm from melbourne australia dope and i was wondering if you could do something for me my boyfriend Will goes absolutely mental over your podcast and I can't remember a time when and I can't remember a time where recently where he's gone a whole day without quoting something you've said very flattering I very much enjoyed that gentle massage you just

gave my ego yeah that's lovely that's very nice his birthday is coming up and I was wondering if you would pretty please record a short happy birthday message for him. I understand you probably have so many of these annoying requests, but I thought I'd try my luck. Let me know if this is at all a possibility, and we can discuss from there. Love your work, Heaven. We can discuss from there.

I don't think we were supposed to read this bit out. This seems like the precursor to the business end of things. Does it not? I will read you all the correspondence. Okay, very good. Written by me guy montgomery hello heaven which is a joyous way to start any message when is the birthday well hold on let me stop you there because you know if you're being literal it means you've just died no uh have you heard of a little known language trick called hyperbole. Feature.

Yep. The hyperbole. You know, oh, this apple tart is heaven. Yeah. Before you burn the roof of your mouth. It's like, hello, heaven. Always. When is the birthday?

An individual recording might be tricky at the moment, but we could shout this good boy out on the friend zone if you like. And if he listens, let us know the boys. This is such amazing news. Thank you so much. His birthday is November 26th. His name, Will Pickering. But his nicknames are

Pickers or Big Dog Star. Will Pickering? Yeah. Is he a comic? No, you're thinking of Charlie Pickering. Oh, you know what I am. So, first of all, November 26th, fantastic birthday. Big shout out to Pickers. Pickers, you absolute fucking stunner.

Oh, Pickers. My boy. Throw a bucket of water on me, bro, because things are heating up In anticipation of November 26th When the inevitable march Towards death continues Can I read you Picker's star sign Courtesy of sunsigns.org

Is it Scorpio? Oh what is it? Sagittarius Pretty close They end on the 22nd Yeah you're right The first half of November is Scorpio If you're born on November 26th,

you are a Sagittarius who is positive and extremely confident. You are kind and normally look for the best in everyone you meet and in most situations. Hear that? Normally. There's room for improvement, pickers. As a rule of thumb, you dislike routine and find travel most exciting. Meeting new people and going to different countries

seems to explain your adventurous behaviour fuck this is the most bogus description of a person here are some attributes everyone would like

to hear about themselves written for you but the thing is big dogster these ones do apply to you yes pickers

we wish you only the happiest of birthdays you've obviously got a good thing going on there with heaven so have a good thing going on there with Heaven so have a good one

yep Tim and I are both going to be in Melbourne early next year doing our best to perform comedy so we would love oh bring all your mates too because I tell you what it's all very well and good

to have a podcast that exists on the internet bloody hard to get people to walk into a room oh well actually funnily enough that's why the title of my next show is quite literally let's all get into a room. Oh, well, actually, funnily enough, that's why the title of my next show

is quite literally Let's All Get In A Room Together. It is a directive. Nice one. Mine's a little more gentle. The name of my show will be Tim Bat, Ladies and Gentlemen. Ah. All also in a room together, presumably.

Yeah. What about people who identify as gender neutral well we'll bring that up in the show i guess we'll have a talk about it that's what comedy shows are for a lot of sense uh you notice how comedians are kind of like the modern day philosophers jesus said no one we used to look to the news for sanity and comedians for comedy oh fuck me when did things turn round? Guy just put a rake through your foot, would you? Here's a message from Tom.

Dear Time Machine and Geiger Counter. I love it! It's good, eh? It's a strong open. I just wanted to say congratulations on the success of two movie adaptions of your podcast. Now, let's press pause. I hope there's no video files at the bottom end of this email someone secretly gone and made movies based on the on the show i hope you don't take

this the wrong way oh but i'm kind of amazed that hollywood has gone ahead and commissioned a feature-length movie version of each series so far and the in jokes of a no longer so obscure new zealand podcast seems like an odd choice for a movie pitch, but well worth it. It's always so exciting to see who has been cast as each character, etc., and which way they will choose to take each reference and joke. Watching Grown Ups 2 after the end of Season 1

was amazing. Genuinely one of the most enjoyable film watches I've ever had. I'm amazed they made it so fast and kept it so faithful to the podcast. The subtlety of some of the mistakes and background characters was very well done. And what a good sport Sandler was

for making his film and roping in all his friends, even sending himself up with the general phoned-in performance and committing to that terrible bus driver flute mime. Sex and the City 2, bit more of a disappointment. It fit the desperate tone of the brilliant season 2 very well, but not sure it made for a great movie.

I would have liked them to have focused a bit more on the dickbot Rat King subplot that they seemed to mostly edit out for some reason. And they never satisfyingly concluded the coffee guy story arc. I really hope they make a movie adaption of season 3. I imagine Ephron will be on board

And find it hard To believe that James Reid Wouldn't also want To be involved The feelers can't be That busy That they'd have to

Find another actor To play him I'm sure they'll get Debt I'm sure Oh not sure They'll get debt But that's fine

I hope they have The guts to show What's in the MacBook Pro box And I'm furious To see if they Actually improv Some bits Or just make it Seem that way Through excellent Acting ability to show what's in the MacBook Pro box, and I'm furious to see if they actually improv some bits

or just make it seem that way through excellent acting ability. Have either of you approached Maximum Joe yet to see if he's on board? If you want to read this out, then you can use my full name, unless Guy already did, without checking, in which case you are forbidden. Also, please... Who is this fucking legend? Please make up a middle name for me that I promise to adopt.

Tom, we get to make up the middle name, Katsumi from London. Oh, nice. I've been... This is a hall of famer. Oh, dude. This is the greatest of all time contenders. I've been fooling around with Tom Katsumi on Twitter just a little bit. Yeah.

A little dollop of Katsumi on twitter just a little bit yeah um so a little dollop of katsumi yeah to get a full serving of katsumi soup uh is a real joy and that's your new middle name mate soup i thought it was going to be a real joy which would be kind of cool it's like one of those you know sports middle names like a nickname tom soup katsumi Yeah I dig it The phonetics are good on him That honestly was so fun to hear being read He found a really good Like Today You ready?

Okay let's go The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer Everybody run Ends here This is your super friendly And not aggressive reminder To buy tickets immediately Borderlands Now playing And here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately.

Borderlands. Now playing. Framework for an email and just stuck to his guns and nailed it. I got one for you, bud. Get on you soupy. Hi, Emperor Montezuma and Batman. I've only got one friend who calls me Montezuma. I wonder if that's a real emperor. You may use my real name if you read this on the podcast. I am

a 20-year-old Scottish student currently studying abroad in North Carolina. Here we go. Jesus Christ. Should I? No, no. Go on. It's a big one. I've been an avid listener since my friend recommended you in my first year of university.

Pretty Irish. Yeah. Find your phrase. What's the Scottish phrase you need to do? Oh, Scottish. I, I lassie. I lassie. I, I lassie have been an avid listener since my first, since my friend recommended you in my first year of university.

Either you guys or cereal with my first podcast he's a pirate now either way that was a baptism of fire into the world of podcasting i've decided to spend five dollars on you guys on compensation for entertaining me on various train journeys and walks to and from uni i have a few points to make in this email, which I will write down as a steam of consciousness. Much in the vein of prawn salad. A personal highlight of season one. One. Fun fact, the only episode we improvised.

We write the rest of them out. I had the pleasure of meeting Guy Montgomery at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2015 when I went to see Rose and his show with my friend Bex. I was standing at the barrow when I suddenly realized the tall mustachioed foreigner standing next to me was none other than the star of the show. The people he was with went to find their seats and he turned to me and asked if I was waiting for the show. Genuinely starstruck, I nodded yes and garbled an answer about being a huge fan and then told Guy that he had in fact favorited a tweet of mine. The tweet was at EDCMPBL.

What does it say about a country that its main cultural exports are lured and the worst idea of all time? Guy was incredibly well skilled at handling this useless information and responded that he had favored it due to a combination of its hilarity and flattery. Scene. Two. he had favored it due to a combination of its hilarity and flattery scene two in one episode you question zicoli's decision to shot bourbon or whiskey or some weird choice of alcohol i feel i can offer some insight into this i've attended a few frat parties during my time abroad and it is

apparent that frat bros will drink anything and everything in whichever manner possible perhaps zicoli visitedirrel at college and he taught him the only way to consume alcohol is rapidly. Ziccoli may have never had the experience of learning to enjoy alcohol and may constantly be in this constant frat mentality. These are my two points. I hope you're both well

and I hope that you both come to the Edinburgh Fringe of 2016. Already been. This email was sent after the Edinburgh Fringe of 2016 so been this email was sent after the edinburgh fringe of 2016 so i will assume you uh i mean 17 so i can become your friend because we are your friends already yours ed campbell ed you're already our friend guy love the enthusiasm dicey a dicey dude dicey as hell honestly scottish is um i think it's one of those things where i want to be better at it than i know i'm capable of and so i panic it's one of the ones that i genuinely dare in the headlights i panic yeah have you watched a lot of sean connery in the james bond movies no it's a good starting point i haven't

watched a single connery-Bond film. They're good. I mean, they're horribly dated, but they're enjoyable. Octopussy. Oh, no, wait. Is that Roger Moore? This is from the subreddit,

which you can all look at at reddit.com slash r slash t w i o a t for the worst idea of all time. The boys should have a proper finale, writes someone. I know they've said over and over there will not be a season four. I can understand moving on

and wanting to do something else, and I for one am excited to see what else Timbo and Guy Guy get up to. But if they are to say goodbye, they should have a proper goodbye to all their friends. One final viewing of Grown Ups 2, then Sex and the City 2, before signing off this big, beautiful adventure and riding off into the sunset.

I like that idea. Oh, mama. That's not bad. We could find a venue and do a movie marathon. That'd be real cool, actually, yeah. Fuck yeah. Well, whoever wrote that on Reddit will be pleased to hear this enthusiastic reaction

i'm thinking of some ideas on the fly i don't know if i'll express them out loud because committed to the net but um yeah no that's great that's awesome season four write someone else on the subreddit if any uh anyone know if they've got a movie set for the next season? If not, I nominate the 1939 movie The Woman or Jiggly. Two very different suggestions. Both great ideas. And both a little bit invalid by the fact that we will not be doing a season four unless, and this is an important unless, if they do make another Sex and the City or Grown Ups movie,

I feel we're pretty committed. I am definitely committed because i did say at one point if they made a grown-ups three that i had to watch it for two years in a row if they do that i'm not going to leave you to hang out to dry i'm already sending you out to the wolves to watch where your friends once by yourself this week it's on me i appreciate your support but that's on me you know um we won't but should we talk a little about the Patreon, which we still haven't set up, but we are, uh, going to. Yeah. Because there will be, uh, we will be at the mercy of, of some fans who want to see us

watch some movies in some regard. Yeah. Uh, we're going to create a club. It's the way Patreon works. You've already known. If you don't know, you can look it up while I'm talking to you, but pretty much it's a, it's like Kickstarter Kickstarter but instead of having an end product it's an ongoing product

and you give us money you give us money but it's just a little bit of money but it's on a regular basis a couple of bucks yeah a tina think of us 20 bucks as um a charity and Tim just

I winced curled his face into the most disgusting shape at me part of the reason why I chose that word but we'll have different tiers and one of the tiers

will be the Deciders Club we're in as part of the Patreon for different donations we will put out quickfire back to back

watch discussions of different movies and so if you are in the Deciders Club we will be choosing what I mean by back to back uh watch discussions of different movies and so if you are in the deciders club uh we'll be choosing what guy means by back to back is you guys pick us a movie as a community you throw it up to us we watch it twice in a row and then we record a party yeah so it's us doing not the usual we are your friends but some other film that you guys have suggested yeah uh and so those movies you know with the right amount of donation to the good ship Tim and Guy, could very well be in the conversation. We may need to put some time parameters on it, because I know how the internet works.

They're going to go hog wild and find some 17-hour movie, you know. They'll always find a loophole. I'm reserving the right of veto on the community suggestions. Simply because, you know... Because you's a bitch? Because I'm reserving the right of veto on the community suggestions. Simply because, you know... Because you's a bitch? Because I'm a bitch. Is that simply why? Because you's a bitch.

We've got irons on the fire that need tending. And look, it's going to be a lot of fun, but let's not get too crazy out there. That might be all the urgent messages we need to get to, I think. Yeah, thank you so much for listening in any capacity. You really make my day. And also, will this be up before the weekend, Tim? Who knows?

Throw out your message. What, this? No, this won't. Okay. Wait, which weekend? The one we're about to face in 48 hours from recording right now in real time? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely not.

Okay, that's fine. I was going to plug some gigs this weekend, but... You did great at them. Yeah. You were so good. Thanks to everyone who came out. I heard you were fantastic. time absolutely not okay that's fine uh i was gonna plug some gigs this weekend but you did great at them yeah you were so good i see everyone who came out i heard you were fantastic they were a genuine ball what i would like to plug actually which haven't done the podcast yet is i've started a weekly newsletter that you can subscribe to uh by you can do it if you just go to my twitter page guy underscore mont it's in my bio uh you just click on it and there's a subscription button there uh and it is funny and the more

people that do it the more i feel beholden to keep churning it out but i do have a lot of fun writing them it's um it's a real joy to do so if you want to hear what this sounds like without my voice the option is now available guy underscore mont on twitter all the information is right underneath a picture of me nude in a painting. One final note that till death do us blart, our annual tradition for the Thanksgiving holiday where we join hands with the My Brother, My Brother and Me Brothers and

watch Paul Blart. And warm them on a turkey fresh out of the oven while discussing Paul Blart Mall Cop 2. We watch it once a year and we do a little potty and we're very much looking forward to it. We love those McElroys. Boy, do we love them. Oh, yeah.

The most wonderful time of the year. So see you soon, everybody. I've given you all the ways that if you want to help out, you can. Bloody tweet, do your Facebook. You can chuck us a dollar or you could do a review on the iTunes. Oh, the other thing, I just shared an album of very funny fan art to the Worst Idea of All Time Facebook page made by Stray and Cole or at hip icon Instagram

he's been making a visual accompaniment for each episode of season 3 and they are terrifying it's like looking back in a mirror and the mirror is not good PCP mirror bye everybody see you next time get out of here on the worst idea of all time

have a good time yes it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy of all time. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try Boners of the Heart? And there was somebody lying across the doorframe

and I tripped over them and straight into the opposite doorframe, which is where I hit my elbow, and then finished the night off, woke up in the morning with the sore elbow, and it was all swollen, massive and bruised, and I was like, well, I'd better go to the doctor. And I didn't look in the mirror or anything and just walked straight to the doctor through the quad with what looks like to everybody else,

just straight up black face. Oh God. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. Today You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer Everybody run! ends here.

This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing.