The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Twenty Four

Episode Date: October 16, 2016

SOON TO SPONSORED BY BLAZE PIZZA (if there is a God)The boys open the mail bag and guess what? People are listening to the other LittleEmpirePodcast.com podcasts. Guybo is pulling out a fairly questionable 'Texas' accent and Timbly wants to hear from more people who have approached the void.American West Coasters, come see us live: San Fran (21 Oct), Portland (22 Oct) and at NOW HEAR THIS in Anaheim (30 Oct). All info at BlazePizza.co.nz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, come to the friend zone, we'll have a good time, yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time. I did not nail those notes. It's okay, you were singing so quietly, some people will probably have thought they heard mild tinnitus, maybe, or that they were hearing things. Which one's tinnitus and which one's tinnitus? Is tinnitus the foot thing? Oh, I thought one of them was like a foot condition. Athlete's foot? Yeah, I think so.

Like a fungal. Welcome to the friend zone, everyone. This is a kind of mini-episode thing that we do on The Worst Idea of All Time. And it's with me, Timbett, and him, Guy Montgomery. And this isn't where we do the normal thing which is watch the movie this is where we chat to our friends all of our friends across the world that's right and athlete's foot is known medically as tinea pedis ah tinnitus is the one that archer has a long-standing joke about yeah my name is guy montgomery and you are my friend and you've just been filled in

Welcome along to Filled In A new podcast based purely on information I will address this now I stole that from Philip DeFranco Is what I'm referencing there Who's a YouTuber I don't know who Philip DeFranco is Do you follow YouTubers?

Okay here's the situation with that I Used to watch Philip DeFranco About 8 years ago YouTubers? Okay, here's the situation with that. I used to watch Philip DeFranco about eight years ago, which must have been roughly when he got started, and he had a very different show. It was called Sexy Phil back in the day. And now he's kind of re-emerged. I just stopped paying attention to him for a cool

almost decade. And now he does a news commentary show where he just absorbs a few stories and comments on them. It's pretty good. It's not always on the money, but I enjoy his point of view. Persona. It's not a comedy YouTuber.

Yeah, he is. I'd call him comedy. Yeah. He talks about news issues, but he's pretty funny. But he does so in a comic way. Yeah. And you don't always agree with his point of view. No.

Well, a lot of the time I do. Sometimes you don't. Yeah. Like a normal of the time I do. Sometimes you don't. Yeah, like a normal person. I guess so. If I don't agree with someone's opinion, I will shut that person off for all of eternity. I don't want to be talking about Philip DeFranco, though. He's far more successful than us.

That's not what the friend zone's for. Why not? It can be a celebration of people who are more successful than us. Yeah, that's a long list. Big shout out to everyone doing better than Tim and I. Way to go. Hey, speaking of how well we're doing, we're about to come back to the States, y'all.

It's really important that you come because we're really trying to brush up against cost neutrality. Make America cost neutral again. Yeah. The tour is called Make America Worst Again. And we're coming to San Francisco on Friday, October 21st at 8pm at the Children's Creativity Museum. Tickets are available at blazepizza.co.nz

or goldstarrealtiesolutions.com. We've still got... There's still tickets available. Let got... There's still tickets available. Let's say there's still tickets available. Let's say... Portland as well. Yeah, we'll get to Portland. Okay, all right. You're going to separate them all out?

Okay, so you go. Let's just say that if you wanted to bring your family and your extended family... Maybe a couple of neighbours down the hall. You still could. And moreover, should. And we're also doing a show the next night in Portland, Oregon. And that is at the Clinton Street Theatre at 9pm.

That's Saturday the 22nd of October. Tickets available at the same places. And then the other exciting news which is brand news that's pretty good I wonder if Blaze Pizza want to buy that and put it in their weekly newsletters brand news like it's announcements specific to the brand

I don't know if you've been brand news continue gaslighting Tim and Guy from New Zealand actually sorry we'll talk about the thing first and then I'll get into this we are coming to be a part of the Now Hear This Podcast Festival. Woo-hoo! A huge podcast festival that's happening in Anaheim.

From the 28th to the 30th of October. And the good news is, if you were wanting to go but you didn't quite want to go because you're like, oh, it's a little bit too expensive and the boys aren't going to be there. Well, A, The boys are going to be there, though. A, the boys are going to be there, and B, if you use the code word WORSTIDEA, you get a 25% discount on the entire festival, and it is loaded with

other bigger, more popular, and successful podcasts, and accordingly, on principle, I will not name any of them. Oh, good on you, dude. Well done, you. I'm a principled gentleman. What were you going to say? Sorry, Tim. Oh, I can't. Oh, yeah, that's right.

You can get like one, two or three day tickets as well. So you can hit what you want to hit. Yeah. So have a look at the, all of the links for everything is at blazepizza.co.nz and goldstarrealtiesolutions.com. It'll put you on the page. You're really carving out a freaky little corner of the internet for us tim and i love it uh we are on the sunday the 30th of october at 11 a.m um so if you want to catch us

there i anticipate being dusty as well yeah hot off a saturday night in california i'm gonna be dusty as hell what is exciting to me is that if no one comes, then, you know, it's just a regular record in a nice plush venue. And, dude, I think that is highly likely because we are very late to the game and I'm not sure if anyone will realise that we're going. So, yeah, look, all the printed materials, if there are any, have surely been sorted by now. We're just going to be walking around.

We're on the website. Oh, that's good. God, they're quick off the mark. They're doing really good stuff. Hey, that's all the admin out of the way. What I was going to say is don't answer this question because this isn't a trap to pay you out, but I don't know if you've been listening to the Brothers McElroy recently

from our fave podcast, My Brother, My Brother and Me, but Justin has started doing over the last two months or so fast food news, but just from press releases that they've put out. It's called The Munch Punch, if I remember correctly, and it's fucking fantastic. So in terms of that brand news thing, it's very, very much on the edges of that. That is excellent. Yeah, it's really good. It's a great segment.

It's a really great segment. I've fallen way behind, and not just with my brother my brother and me with general podcast consumption i got a kindle yeah and literally all the time that i spent with podcasts i now spend with my kindle it's insane i can't do both yeah well done for reading have we talked about this have you tried listening to a podcast and reading a book at the same time? Oh, once. Deeply confusing. And never again. Yeah, because I'm all into time maximization.

I try to often pack as many things into one slot as possible. I try to. It's not good. Oh, I can barely do one thing at one time. There's some people I reckon who are out there who can do it. It's fucking madness. It's fucking madness. Hey, let's get to our friends, eh? Could we please? Who out there Who can do it It's fucking bad It's fucking madness Hey

Let's get to our friends eh Could we please There's actually one friend In particular Who I'm gonna Try and See if I can Find them off the top

Okay well While you do that This was a Facebook message we received And the first line of it All caps Is written Urgent and time sensitive

Oh my god Get to it Absolutely We've already dawdled too much. Nah. We might have fucked it. We'll see. Dear Tim Bones and Giatron, howdy from Texas.

Should I read it in a Texan accent? Yes. Howdy from Texas. I'm writing to y'all because I desperately need your help. You may not know this, but here in America, we are in the midst of a somewhat traumatic election season. Maybe you've heard about it? Personally, I'm sensing the World War III scenario you proposed on season two on the horizon. Could you please tell me which candidate you suspect to be aligned with Brady the Rat King and his army of vermin, and which candidate is

aligned with Dickbot? I have my own suspicions, but I thought I'd ask the experts on this. If you could please let me know by November 8th, I would greatly appreciate it. All hail Brady the Rat King and R.I.P. Knifey, Jenny B. Side note, my friend who introduced me to the podcast is getting married this month, so if you read this, will you please tell her she's a fucking legend. Her name is Libby and she's marrying Ryan. I'm very happy to call Libby and Ryan both legends, but I'm not going to drag American politics into this podcast.

I do a whole other podcast about the US election called Polidics. With who? With Jeb Lund. Big sexy Jeb Lund. Yeah. Mabuti From Twitter And he's Mobute

Mobute Yeah but How do you pronounce it? Isn't he like an African Leader or Maybe a warlord or something I don't know Anyway

If you want your politics Go to there Jeb Lund is operating On too many levels For me to understand I know The dude's too smart For me to interact with

I don't know why I'm doing a podcast with him I would find it so intimidating oh it's ridiculous it's stupid uh what yeah to speak to you jenny b i think that brady um and dick bot probably in the face of the current election would uh oh you are getting into it okay would leave leave earth they would bail yeah they'd just be like oh god. We had a really good narrative going and now this fucking circus has taken over. Yeah I don't want to dive into American politics either. Guy I've got

to talk about Patrick King This is the guy who we were talking to over email earlier this week because we were stunned by his contribution to the show A king amongst Patrick's? A king amongst Patrick's. This guy has contributed an unheard of amount of money. Which hitherto, wait, how do you say it?

Hitherto for? Like from here on in. Say who? Hereafter will be known as a Patrick King. That is the unit of currency. Oh, I like that. For this amount of money that he gave us from now on. He gave us one Patrick King, which in us dollars equals 500 us

dollars oh my god you see you're exactly who i was shouting out at the start of the friend zone saying big shout out to everyone doing better than us patrick king must be doing better than us i hope he's doing a lot better than us otherwise crazy this could be the first decision he made uh on the beginning of a slippery slope down to not doing better than us anymore as soon as this came through because i get an email every time a donation comes through from paypal i dropped him an email i'm like oh hey man i think you made a little typo with your donation i appreciate you reaching out but uh you know happy to um pop that money back in your account he was like no no 100 intentional wow so i've uh sorry i his original message actually got cut off and that's the one that i've got here so i'll just quickly find his

other one but just the name as well like what a perfect person to give a patrick king amount of money it's all just great what a great metric a patrick king yeah so there's two patrick kings in a thousand yeah as long as it's dollars in us i have a grasp on basic math here is the message i think yeah uh dear timbo and guy man you both have provided me with endless amounts of entertainment over the last three years so it's time for me to give back every moment of this podcast has been a delight to me and it has supported me through the darkest time of my life. I am sorry you boys

had to go through 52 weeks of these shit movies but your commentary and prawn salad recipes make it so amazing. I have tried to get significant others and friends to listen

but they just don't seem to get it. I guess their NZ sense of humour isn't for everyone. Love every moment, love every day, Patrick King. P.S. if you could sing

the Patty Schwartz theme song during the Sam Fran live show that would make my year. We will absolutely be doing that. You have bought us. Well and truly. No doubt. Yeah. I like the idea that our podcast speaks for the entire New Zealand sense of humour.

Obviously it's not for everyone. It's pretty niche. But good on you for trying to get people into it. Yeah, good on not for everyone. It's pretty niche. But good on you for trying to get people into it. Yeah, good on you for trying. And Patrick has also become the inaugural member of the Billionaires Club, which is a forthcoming membership program that The Worst Idea will be running through Patreon. Details to come. There's so many balls in the air, aren't there?

We're trying to get more. Just see how many balls are in the air. Add more. Add three more balls to whatever the air. Add more. Add three more balls to whatever number is up there now. That is correct. So this message comes from Dustin, and I'm not going to say his last name because I'm a respectful guy,

but let's just say he lives in Florida. Does he? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. That's why we're saying it. Oh, okay, yeah. Makes sense. Let's just we're saying it. Oh, okay, yeah. Makes sense. Let's just say my name is Guy Montgomery. I wanted to share a little incident with you guys,

and I think you'll appreciate it. The other day I visited a friend, and he was watching an episode of Netflix's show Hemlock Grove. If you haven't seen it, don't. It's goddamn awful. So I watched the episode, and I was just floored that this thing apparently carried on for three seasons. So here's where it gets funny.

Which is always a red flag in a story. As soon as you announce something's funny, it's going to be funny. It's a big build up. Two days later, I went to another friend's place and he was watching the same episode of the same shitty ass show. After two requests to shut it off, I was all but forced to watch the whole episode again. My first thought was, what? Again?

No, my first, sorry. My first thought was, what are the fucking odds? But then it hit me. This was just a microcosm of what you boys endure. But I felt it. I felt the weight of trying to focus on something truly terrible while not even having the energy to make the same disparaging comments

I made the first time. My next thought was, it's quite possible that repetitively watching the same random episode of some shitty show i know nothing about might actually be a worse idea than what you're doing but please i beg you do not ever sink that low this is not a recommendation this is just an expression of minor empathy on my part anyway enough about that bullshit have a great trip to the west coast wish i lived closer dustin i love what this message is about because you're a man who's briefly touched the void and you felt it

and you needed to reach out as like a brother in arms and I dig that. Anyone else who feels like they've kind of brushed up against the same void, you should get in touch and describe your experiences because we're all in this together. Either accidentally, incidentally or on purpose

I will definitely avoid that show too I already can't remember what it's called What was it called? Hemlock Grove It's a cool name Hemlock Grove Was Hemlock? No, what was Grimlock?

One of the Dinobots from Transformers I had a toy of him as a kid It was the only Transformers toy that I had, and it was a fucking excellent one. He was a T-Rex from memory. I had an Optimus Prime. Nice. And I'd say that...

A bit cliched. Yeah. A bit broad for me. Yeah. I'd say to my mum, I'd say, watch this, mum. Watch this. I'm just going to trans it up,

which is something a child wouldn't be able to say in this day and age. Well, they surely could. They'd just going to trans it up, which is something a child wouldn't be able to say in this day and age. Well, they surely could. They'd just have a slightly different meaning. They'd just wake up to several think pieces. That's what I love about kids, eh? They're a constant reminder that it's like we probably should just calm down about everything all the time.

That we might be overthinking things. Perhaps. Perhaps. I love children. Yeah, but you see see if a kid said yeah see this is exactly the shit i'm talking about a perfectly innocuous statement that just it we're all so ready to bloody pounce on each other these days aren't we rip each other to shreds i don't spend uh much time with them and so i sort of forget how what their intellect intellectual capacity is so i talk to all children as adults.

But you talk to all adults as if they're about 11 as well. So it probably evens out slightly. I'm trying to find my core audience, which I think is sort of 15-year-olds. And you certainly can't say that on a podcast. Chris Mann has got in touch with us and said, G'day, Tim Guy and Guy Tim. I like that.

Which one do you think is? This is probably whatever leads with, I'm Tim Guy and you're Guy Tim. Maybe he can't distinguish between the two of us and so he's just cut a corner. Oh, nice. I'm happy for you to use my name or any other you deem appropriate should you read this message aloud.

Second, thanks for the hours of entertainment and occasional shouting Freud and as you experience 52 times over something I have no intention of doing even once third and most importantly i think you've made a fundamental mistake in one of your segments this season it should in fact is there a weird sound is that you doing something it's probably me sorry it should in fact be called getting sentimental with james reed isn't that what it's probably me sorry it should in fact be called getting sentimental with james reed isn't that what it's called because james reed from the feelers fell for a classic scam i'm just checking i've read this right he thought he was getting a brand new macbook pro that fell

off the back of a truck but with the sleight of hand he actually forked out five hundred dollars for a box with a stand oh sorry, sorry, a box filled with sand. Disappointed at being so easily tricked, he gives the box to Zicoli as a so-called gift, in quote marks, and maybe he thinks Zicoli can use it to induce tears to help his career as the crying DJ alone. In any case, keep up the good work, and best of luck for the rest of the episodes.

Cheers from Australia, Chris. He said, It should, in fact, be called Getting Sentimental with James Reid. That is what it's called. I'm so, this is throwing me. I'm trying to make sure I've read all the words right. No, no, it's undeniably confusing. It sounds like he sort of put some intrigue into it so you'd read on and then shared a fan theory. Right.

Well, I really... Hey, tip of the hat to you, Chris. You've pulled it off. I've given this more attention than I ordinarily would. And I think a box filled with sand is an excellent suggestion. How does it make him cry, though? Is it the disappointment of not getting a MacBook Pro or is it the addition of sand to one's eye

that forces the tear duct to start reacting? The knowledge that his mother drowned means that sand is a very triggering thing for him. Yes, bro. That is deep and grim and dark and not fit for the friend zone. You know, you want to keep it light and lithe. That's true.

Here we go. I've got one for you. The subject of this email is a treat for you with eternal gratitude from us. And I have to read out the name because it is such a good name. From Montague Arthur Kimball Evans. I am in love with that name.

Presumably a distant member of some sort of monarchy. Dear Tim Shady and Dr. Monty. Love that. You are off to an incredibly strong start. My partner Jade introduced me to the show less than a year ago. Annoyingly, it was after we'd attended last year's Edinburgh Fringe. How we kicked ourselves when we realised that we missed

Guy's show. We finally caught up together last week and decided to send you an email and some hard-earned cash for creating one of the most earnestly and consistently funny shows of all time. $20 US is about 15 Great British Pounds here, or 27.50 NZD for you fine blokes. Enough for a couple of rounds during your next watch.

Or some absinthe! Unable to afford donating huge amounts via the PayPal, I hope you'll accept this Shakespearean sonnet as part payment. Shall thee compare a film each seven days? Thou art of much lunatic temperament. Rough viewings shake thee into quite the craze such sweet release went into potty vent some time too long a movie's running time and often thy attention starts to dim and every empty stare or mobile chime attempts distraction of

guy guy and tim but thy eternal watching shall not lift until the credit reel begins to show us nor shall a kiss desist being a gift when in the friend zone art thou both engrossed but thy eternal watching shall not lift until the credit reel begins to showest, nor shall a kiss desist being a gift, when in the friend zone art thou both engrossed. So long till Lenny carries a coley, and never bro me, if thou don't knowst me. I was quite close to turning shall I compare thee to a summer's day into shall I compare thee to a summer time, but felt that a poem inspired by Braden

wouldn't stretch much further than teddy bear murder and paternal disappointment we know you like these messages short but i have so much to ask how about bullet points where do scotch pancakes sit in the great pancake crepe debate the backflip party guy is this a cameo from taylor lawton as grown-ups to character did you know that turning boys into fish was the plot of the novel The Iron Woman? Okay, hold on for a second. The sonnet was so good, and don't mistake my silence for underappreciation. That was amazing.

Let's take these questions one by one, and we'll try and answer them quickly. So what was the first one again? The sonnet was tremendous. Where do scotch pancakes sit in the great pancake crepe debate? I'm not sure what a scotch pancake is. They don't feature in the debate the backflip party guy is this a cameo from taylor lawton has grown up to character who's the backflip party guy i'm trying to remember what is that from season one do we

think or is that from there must there must be a backflip party guy and we are your we are your compadres as it was released in Spanish-speaking countries. I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor Lautner was milling around on set. Probably, hey, I presume that Taylor's friends with Zach. I don't know how to pluralize it, but it'd be like, Estoy...

Oh, no. Soy el amigo. I am your friend That's such a sad title That is a different movie That is a sequel Sorry Another question, what?

Back flipping guy, yeah fuck Taylor Lautner did a back flip, I'm trying to think of someone else Who was an extra who did a back flip, I don't think there is one I can't think of any of them You would think by after 20 watches We would have been able to very easily tell you if there was a backflipping i feel like there mustn't be maybe maybe you i'm thinking about the person doing the the um the routes of rotations yeah was there a backflip in sex in the city too no i'd remember that oh wait a second yes there is during liza manali's Minnelli's big number, there's a guy who, it's not quite a flip, but it's

like a backwards round off. I think they're called a walkover, but when you do them backwards. Yeah? Yeah. He uses his hands. So that's what separates from being a backflip. That could have been Taylor Lautner. Good attention to detail.

Maybe it was. Did you know that turning boys into fish was the plot of the novel The Iron Woman? I didn't know that. And I like it as a plot. Who would win in a fight between... Who knew that Margaret Thatcher was herself a warlock? Next question. Who would win a fight between Guy with Cutlass and Tim with Knife?

Guy with Cutlass because it would extend his already superior reach by tenfold. Yeah. with cutlass because it would extend his already superior reach by tenfold yeah i i would probably be more intimidated uh and accordingly i would probably let like be very panicked at the idea of you coming up with the knife and you should be bro i will come at you hard but the thing is that when i panic i i sort of my regular decision making devices abandon my body yeah and i start acting on impulse yeah yeah. Do you think that would serve you in battle? Yeah, I do. You would kind of click into fight or flight and you would just go hard. Very hard.

Who would win an all out brawl between the 1980s party, the gay wedding and the looking pool party? The looking pool party, I would have to say because they're street brawlers. Although they're kind of rich and spoiled the 80s party actually the sheer numbers yeah well and also if you if you create a union between the frat the frat boys and the grown-ups yeah i mean

that is it's unstoppable bedlam it's madness we've now unfortunately watched grown-ups too with drinking game game thank you and we are your friends but we're storming through the Sex and City TV show before we attempt the movies notice the common thread through the subjects of the podcast

all the characters featured in these films are the very worst glad to hear you lads back together again Guy next time you're gone holiday for the love of the

Rat King take Tim with you we'll miss the podcast when it's over but we also look forward to many fruitful years listening to the fan fucking tastic

bonus of the heart hashtag Snedhead also Tim it's bris not brisk yeah one only hopes it may also be brisk thanks again fuck boys montague arthur kimball evans and jade howie from oxford england you may read our names in fact guy the mountain montgomery i was called monty the man mountain at school and feel an affinity with an equally mountainous Monty. Well... So much to unpack, and I think we did for most of it.

And what a just wonderful contribution. Yeah, and that email was actually... We missed that one a round ago. So apologies it took so long. Nah, I'm not going to apologize for that. Retract that. We read it out. That's good enough.

No, no, no. I apologize. You can't retract my my apology i'm requesting that you should i would never request you to retract an apology that you made kind of takes the um edge off of being an apology doesn't it makes it a bit less heartfelt and contrite yeah the thing is with the um the brisk brisk thing uh look i throw a lot of things out there on the podcast. Not all of them I'm going to get right. That's the God's honest truth. But I do appreciate it when people correct me. It's a miracle we get anything

right. If you think about the circumstances under which we're recording. Two boys just having a yarn that happens to get picked up and then broadcast to a bunch of people online. It's amazing that we don't get in more hot water than we do. Absolutely.

But yeah, absolutely, people continue to correct me because that is how we grow as humans. You're very good at that. What? Taking on new information. I like it. Oh, thank you. Learning.

Yeah. As they call it in the biz. See, I can't even remember the word, which means I'm bad at it. Oh, thank you. Learning. Yeah. As they call it in the biz. See, I can't even remember the word, which means I'm bad at it. Anne, I won't read her last name yet or possibly ever, writes to us, Flash and Timbly Mimbly Bimbly Wimbly. Inquiring minds need to know, is it a New Zealand thing to call everyone boys all the time or is it just you guys and the people you know? I started listening to Walkout Boys and they do the same thing they are also from new zealand but on a podcast network

run by tim i don't have any data about new zealanders without a connection to you boys just in case you needed to know i'm in favor of your use of boys all the time i want to start saying this but it will probably not sound as good or natural coming from me. Have a great day. Anne Leon. Pronounced like the animal. Oh, lion. Gotcha. Roar. You can say my name if you happen to read this if you want.

Great. So, firstly, just so happy that a couple of the podcasts that I'm producing for my mates are getting an airing on the friend zone. That's good. If you want to check out the rest go to little empire podcast.com someone else has bought little empire podcasts.com and we'll not sell it to me cheaply enough blaze pizza fuck yeah online warfare this is the cyber warfare they were talking about in that first debate um the boys thing i feel like is possibly not only just a new zealand thing but i think it's our group of friends right it's

yeah it's um australia too like i remember during the melbourne comedy festival this year uh sambo cambo and tom walker and aaron chen they called themselves like they were the feeble mind minds boys yeah people minds by the way was the most bananas comedy show i've ever seen i it was the show i have the most regret about not saying and then they won the director's choice award at the comedy festival and started calling themselves the awards boys the awards boys is great aaron chin in his thank you speech in front of like everyone at all the comedians all the organizers and all these punters at the festival was like you know he referenced kanye with he, you know, a lot of people were saying,

what's going to happen if the Feeble Minds boys don't win? Well, I guess we'll never find out. And then walked off the stage like a fucking champ. That's awesome. So I think boys is just like on high rotation in our current group's vernacular right now. This is like an Australasian vernacular. Yeah. Good question though, and well

observed. So, we were getting a lot of flack earlier in the season for calling everyone boys. I think people found it confusing. Oh, look, let's not mistake one person enjoying it for any more than what it is. I think let's. A couple short ones. Here's a real short one from Melissa

who says, love listening to your epic highs and lows. You courageous boys are doing great work. Melissa. This one from Kristen. Hi, hi, Nimbly and Guybra. My brother-in-law gave me the greatest gift and suggested your podcast. I enjoy your podcast primarily in solitude.

I work in a small office. My husband and my friends have not evolved to podcasting and my daughter is seven months old. Although she has not developed language yet, I'm positive she enjoys listening to the strings of your sanity snapping. Does that make me a bad mum? Bring, bring, Snedhead fan calling.

Yes. Long time listener, first time caller. Love the show. Thank you for your time. Kristen and Charlotte, English. You signed off on that letter from your daughter, which I love. That's so good.

I've accidentally closed two messages that I've got to read. I love. That's so good. I've accidentally closed two messages that I've got to read. Oh, I've got one instantly. Tegan, who has donated to us, Guy, an outstanding slightly above one Patrick King amount, one one-fifth, sorry, of a Patrick King. Yeah, I was going to say. It's hard to try and talk and do the math and you hit it the same time.

It's about, I would say, 22% of a Patrick King. Yeah, I was going to say. It's hard to try and talk and do the math and you hit it at the same time. It's about, I would say, 22% of a Patrick King. $114 US dollars is what it comes out to be. Oh, baby! Which is stonking. Huge. Yeah, yeah. We'd be doing backflips if we weren't so taken aback already by getting a Patrick King from Patrick King.

Donated.22 Patrick Kings. To Timbly Wimbly and Guy Guy Flash. I'll flick you this message on Facebook as well in case PayPal cuts it off just listened to Friendzone 23

and was disheartened to hear my favourite NZ lads don't have $80 when their heroes come to town so I have calculated roughly how much US $80 is NZ

and have shouted you both a ticket to see your favourite people whenever they are next in Auckland. You've both given me so much joy over the past few years. It's the least I could do. I'm a forensic scientist and you boys have been with me the whole time I've been programming a platform to extract DNA.

Cheers for all the laughs and good times. Love and kisses. For a kiss is always a gift. Tegan, P.S. Feel free to say my name. P.P.S. I wrote say my name bitches and then felt like that was too aggressive for friends but i love the way kiwi say bitches so i added it here

anyway smiley face with pokey time thank you very much thanks tegan you are the best bitch can i say that no i think but the the ES is vital to the tone of bitches. You're one of the best bitches out there, Tegan. How about that? Again, it's not quite working for me. Of all the scientist bitches I know, you are among the finest, Tegan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're getting closer, woman?

I think as soon as you introduce gender to it, it becomes a little bit spicy. But if you introduce all scientists as some of the smartest bitches on the planet... Yeah, I'm very gender neutral with my use of bitches. I'll call a guy... You do. And I generally use it in quite a... What's the word I'm looking for? Like endearment.

Yeah, I know. It's funny. It's that classic whole, as soon as I'm seriously disrespecting you, that is me showing you respect. Yeah. Like, the more I can denigrate you and drag your name through the mud, the more that means I personally respect you and feel like we're on the same level. It's that classic all boys high school vibe.

I don't understand all boys high schools. I went to one. But these things have got to stop. When you say you don't understand them are you i don't understand the concept of being like well we'll separate out the genders because that'll get everyone ready for the real world yeah i know that they perform better and like both single gender schools perform better in tests but you gotta ask yourself at what cost also what's with tests all of the information is available all of the time now.

Okay, you've really sacrificed any kind of opinion you had about the school system right there. That was swift. We were with you, Guy. We were with you as a genuine person with a first-hand experience of the single-sex school system, and then you squandered your position. Why do you like tests?

I'm saying they're a necessary evil to ensure the integrity of the system you got to have some sort of benchmark to check everyone's roughly look it's not perfect but name a bit and the words roughly of um what's his name uh god prime minister of britain during world war i War II. Winston Churchill. And the rough approximation quotes of Winston Churchill, democracy is the worst system we have until you consider the others. It's the same thing for tests in schools. It's the least worst way of doing it. A person whose name I'm going to think is pronounced Mac.

This is so hard. M-A-T- mac this is so hard m-a-t-k m-a-t-k m-a-t-k yeah m-a-t-k m-a-t-k m-a-t-k baby hey boys just felt like showering you in gifts today mark please say my name say my name now the next bit of the message, I'm going to put it to you guys. This is a real flip of the coin. Do you want me to read it verbatim? Yeah. Okay. It feels so good Fucking hell That makes no sense After about the first one

That made perfect sense to me I was imagining Being very lightly Kissed on the cheeks By Matt Kay Great The whole time you were doing that And

Time to get out of the friend zone now I've had it Yeah I've had it So look What a journey it's been It's been a good one It's been a real good one

And thank you for all the thoughts and prayers After the release of The last episode with our friend Reece Mathewson from Two and a Half Count, the wrestling podcast. Follow him on Twitter at Respect, R-H-Y-S-P-E-C-T.

I'm so sorry to interrupt his Twitter handle. If you ever get the chance to see Reece Mathewson do stand-up comedy, do it, because he is fucking sensational. He is the reigning champion of New Zealand stand-up comedy. True. He won the Fred Award last year, which is biggest um comedy award we have in this fair nation so once again

folks we are going to be coming to your faces if you live in anaheim on the 30th for the now here this festival uh buy your tickets with the code worst idea and get 25 off we will be in san francisco even earlier than that so fucking real soon soon, actually. Friday the 21st of October. Less than a week. We can't wait to see you there in the Golden City in Portland, Oregon on the 22nd of October. All tickets available at blazepizza.co.nz. Also, I'm going to put this on the record so that I have to do it.

I'm organizing an event in Los Angeles. Yes. The Great Blaze Pizza Eat In, Eat Out. Location to be confirmed, but we're going to coordinate. We'll make it probably on the Thursday. So that will be Thursday the 20... 19th. Oh, sorry, 20th.

Yeah, but later. Thursday the 27th. Oh, sorry, the week after. In Los Angeles. We're going to order a bunch of pizzas from competing brands and go and shop at a blaze pizza and eat it there yeah so

Domino's Pizza Hut Papa John's everyone we want we want to get as many different varieties there if you could come with us it'd be so good and we're just gonna fucking hang out and

eat some pizza from competing brands to bring the fight to blaze hashtag bring the fight to blaze hashtag pay the boys if you can't make it along we will put the whole thing up on periscope thank you for listening we'll see you next time after we have watched the critical darling of 2015 directed by a maximum joseph called we are no what is it? I Am Your Friend Bye everyone Well it's the friend zone

With Tim and Guy Come to the friend zone And have a good time Yes it's the friend zone With Tim and Guy Cause making friends is the best idea of all time Thanks for listening to this podcast If you're thirsty for another, why not try...

War Dogs is a new film from Todd Phillips. It is not, as you might have thought, a kind of dark spin-off of Air Bud. What? A dog can't serve in the military. There's nothing in the rule book that says it can't. Sign me up. You want to come with me, buddy? Wow, he shoots a gun better than anybody

I've ever seen.