The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Twenty Six

Episode Date: November 8, 2016

SPONSORED BY OMNY (use code 'WORSTIDEA' at sign up)Your boiz are back in New Zealand and Guybo couldn't be happier to see Timbly after a mere day and half spent apart. In this Friendzone we explore the business model of TWIOAT, travel to far off lands like Savannah, Georgia and explore the deep emotional recesses of Spindley and Flash's minds.Trailer: The Male Gayz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, come to the friend zone, and have a good time, yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, cause making love is the best idea of all time. See what I did there? I changed friends to love. This is the love zone Welcome to the love zone Oh baby We're gonna pour honey down your ears Hey everyone

Welcome to the 26th friend zone With your old mates Timbo And Guy Thank you so much for joining us If you want to hear a review of the movie Where Are Your Friends We've uploaded a lot of those to the internet they're available there's a bunch of trees through your chosen podcast listening app or platform but this is not that this is a space

for friendship and love where we come together with one another with you and uh we just bathe in uh in positive energy and good vibes the chronology of this is a little weird because this is being recorded when we're back in New Zealand now. That's right. But we've still got one episode in the bank from the America trip, which is the one we recorded in Anaheim with the millionaire himself, Michael McMillan. And it's a goodie.

That's a real treat. That was a real treat. And also, I think for those of you who have heard the most recent episode recorded in Portland what you'll enjoy is we didn't record the episode

through a vegetable yeah I'm sorry that was my bad there's no no fooling around there that was my bad you know what kills me as well

is that on the little unit that we record on it's the difference that day was pushing the button twice to record yeah i pushed it half as many times as that which is once which does not set

it to record and what you get is half half of the audio you get nothing no you don't you get no you get none of it oh yeah you get none um hey welcome to the friend zone everybody this is a place where we uh have a chat to our friends and share what our friends are talking about. I've got to say, just quickly, before we talk to our friends outside of one another, I feel like I've been on holiday from you and I'm just so happy to be in a room with you. It's such a nice change of pace.

That's very sweet. I haven't seen you in maybe 48 hours. Yeah. I mean, we saw each other on Monday night, but that didn't count because it was sort of... What was Monday? Oh, the gig. Yeah, that's right. Hey, you did well.? Oh, the gig. Yeah, that's right.

Hey, you did well. Yeah, I'm funny. Yeah, you are funny. There was some good quality stand-up. Just good, clean stand-up. Thanks, pal. But this comes hot off the heels of Guy and I being in America and literally spending not only every waking moment together, but also sharing a bed.

So it's like just a very close proximity for two weeks. Genuinely, Bergen, I'm looking at you. I can't stop smiling. That's really cute. I wonder what your girlfriend would have to say about all this. She'll be fine. You know, she stopped listening to the podcast like pretty soon after we started dating. I so can't blame her.

It was recon. In some ways, this is like a um journal yeah you know and you don't want to read someone's journal plus she just might not be that into it yeah and that's fair too she said she listens sometimes if she misses me when when we're away uh but otherwise she literally fessed up being like no i was just doing it as research that's cute no it's not it's like no it's not it's not it's not to the level of like you're hacking into certain bits of the internet you shouldn't be in there it's all public it's all on the public record that's true that do you know what it's good for it's totally insulated both of us from getting big ideas about being

captains of industry or becoming politicians later in life it's like nope your past self has removed that possibility entirely which i dig i think that's the smart thing um our first piece of correspondence comes to us from the worst idea of all time subreddit which is reddit slash r slash t w i a t w i o a t correct portland show and first date gone wrong i went on a first date with a girl i've been casually sleeping with we had a great time uh we had a great time all day before the show but after i took her to the worst idea show in portland with some friends who also didn't listen to the podcast all she had to say afterward was and i quote what the fuck what the fuck was that since then things things between us have not gone well

her basically ignoring my texts and we broke up a few days ago it's for the best though as although the sex was amazing uh if she can't understand good comedy what's even the point anyways i brought this up because i'm currently listening to the portland show episode 22 i had a blast even if she didn't and I'm glad I got to shake hands with Tim and Guy. Oh, that is so funny. Dude, what the fuck? Was that his first date with this girl? So he brought both this girl and a bunch of his friends who had not been exposed to the podcast before. And in the comments on this thread as well,

people do bring up quite quickly the fact that we talked about bestiality on that episode a bit. It's a steep entry point, you know, to the podcast. I'll tell you what, as a first date, while I appreciate you thinking of us as an option in your pocket, I would never take a person who doesn't listen to the podcast to this podcast as a first date it's too i would hate it if i didn't listen to this podcast and i went for the first time and i was exposed to that i wouldn't be into it you're

really letting your freak flag fly but in our defense it was a great show we had a great time we had a great audience in for the intended audience yeah it was a great time. We had a great audience in. For the intended audience. Yeah. It was a great show. And, you know, what? A disagreement over what podcast someone listens to is a pretty weak, you know, it's like a Seinfeld level weak reason for a breakup. Yeah. It's not super strong, but I guess it's more like, oh, this is what you're into. I don't think this relationship is going to work out.

You've clearly got some demons you need to excise. Well, I guess, you know, I'm curious. I guess the other part where you went wrong is you took the girl and your friends on the first date. Yeah, you've put a lot of things in a pot here, haven't you? You've really gone to the casino and put it all on black. I like you for several reasons. You listen to the podcast. You brought people, paying paying customers to our live show

i appreciate that but i've got to say as an impartial observer this is a pretty self-centered first date um well that's one interpretation the other is that you're exposing someone who potentially you could you could be with for a long time to something you love that's true and share a gift with them that's very true actually i didn't even not for one second i slid into think that the date could have gone well this is a this is a pretty piss poor analogy but it's like when my girlfriend and i uh very first started dating um my brother who lives in england shout out to dave he listens to the podcast great dude fucking we love dave we do love dave uh he came to wellington for like a very brief trip and he's not here that often these days and so i said to

zoe hey you want to meet my brother because i don't know i feel like this could go on for a while so why don't you come down for a little weekend trip she was like sure but that's a pretty freaky maneuver because we were not together for long at the point when i threw that at her yeah you're coming in pretty heavy there. Pretty hot. That was two years ago, guy. Yeah. Two years ago.

Hey, and look at you now. Look at me now. Sharing a bed with me. Fucking hell. You got one? Of course. I have many. So, Dearest Timberley and Guyana, feel free to use my name or a comically feminized version

if you're so inclined. What was the name? This person's name? Jack. Jaquina. I just had to drop you boys, girls a message to tell you that season 3 has been tremendous and every episode is a real treat that I look forward to every week. I'm visiting

the great state of New Jersey, affectionately referred to as the Garden State on their license plates and was irrationally excited as I drove through the fine borough of Paramus, an actual brick-and-mortar blaze pizza restaurant. I just had to pop off and snap a photo out in front of myself enjoying a piece of three-day-old pizza from a rest stop Papa G knows. I'm looking forward to episode two of Till Death Dost Blah, and I do hope I can catch you two stellar souls in person,

ideally in a live comedy type setting, rather than some awkward real world elevator bathroom cue sort of scenario. Cheers, salute, and via sin Dios, your friend, Jack. And he truly is eating what looks like the rankest piece of pizza outside of a blaze. Oh, look at him. Jackie Onassis, you've warmed the cockles of my heart that's so sweet and to say that season three is good i appreciate that season three is great we were talking about it off mic recently the main point of difference i can't remember if we brought this up on the

podcast is that grown-ups turn sex and city too they're very flashy they're very you know bawdy and gaudy and they show their money on the screen and also through doing that they show their lack of care and attention to detail where are your friends the different beasts and that it's an earnest effort to make a good film and so just like coming in and exploding the whole thing is it feels much more means to you know to attack the actual piece of work itself feels much more mean-spirited because it's like, no, people actually tried. They were trying to do a thing. This wasn't just a paycheck. Yeah.

Yeah, you're dead right. And you know what? I'm going to interpret that as a point to us because much like we are nixing the podcast after this season for the reason that it's like you can't just rest on your laurel. Guy and I have been talking about this a little bit recently. Unless they make another Sex and the City or Grown Ups, I think that would be the exception.

This is it. This is the last season. And a big part of that reason is we built a thing that works, so we kind of feel like we have to destroy it. Yeah. It's the classic thing. As soon as you get comfortable, you have to move on and start again. Because otherwise you just, you know, you wind up.

You wind up as Adam Sandler. Exactly. I was thinking about Adam Sandler yesterday. I can't remember why. And about, fuck, was it in a dream? I had a conversation. You were being exposed to this in real time, just like I am. I had a conversation.

I imagine a conversation with him where he was just like, fuck you. He's like to me, fuck you. I don't know anything to anyone. Like, I've got a backlog of stuff that people love and they can watch. And then I'm going to keep making the movies I want to make. And if people want to watch them, that's fine. And if you don't want to watch them, guess what, asshole? That's fine, too.

It's not my fucking problem if you like him or not it is the undefeatable argument i was like all power to you imagined version of adam sandler laying out a very reasonable argument at my feet it is so reasonable it's like yeah you can't you genuinely can't pick holes in that and i didn't and i either or... God, I'm really confused about how that conversational thought took place. I would like to, at this point, throw a spotlight on our sponsor for The Friend Zone, which is Omni Studio, which is our podcasting platform. They're really good.

They're really, really good. And they're constantly adding features. They add features at a rate of knots, unparalleled in the biz, as we call it. That's true. Other people call it the business when you're not in it, but we call it the biz because we're inside of it. If you hear someone in Hollywood call it show business, what is very embarrassing is as soon as they say it,

they'll be flanked by two security guards who will remove them from the conversation and the greater Hollywood Los Angeles area. They're not in it. They're not in it. They might have been in it, but they've lost it. Whatever they had, they have lost. So they're a company. I think they started off working with radio stations,

and they've made a real play in the last couple of years, grabbing podcasts and making their platform just super excellent for podcasters. Unlimited podcast hosting. I'm not sure exactly what that means but i think it's like the bandwidth is is almost infinite like with the old platform we were with we were limited by how much that's right data we remember when we uploaded five hour energy tim yeah and i had to like do you remember the fallout from that fucking catastrophe oh wait what it was just like we couldn't load up any other podcast oh yeah that yeah, that's right. Fuck, I forgot. Yes, it destroyed our bandwidth for the month.

I had to degregate the quality so it was pretty low anyway. So it doesn't sound, you know, crystal clear. And yeah, and then we were just locked out of uploading a few more episodes until our bandwidth receded. No, that's enough podcasting from you two. You will not get that from Omni Studio. Omni is spelled O-M-N-Y studio dot com. And if you sign up, oh fuck, I can't remember if our code is worst or worst idea. We'll not get that from Omni Studio. Omni is spelled O-M-N-Y studio dot com.

And if you sign up, oh, fuck, I can't remember if our code is worst or worst idea. They'll know. Just tweet at them or something. Tell them we sent you. Good God. Tell them that we sent you. But they are genuinely really awesome. And one thing that they really excel at is once you put your episode up, they have all this crazy optimization stuff so you can share it to social media and it looks really good.

Yeah. On some of the other platforms, it looks pass, but they've- It looks very nice, unless your cover art is a very low-resolution photo of you from about 10 years ago. Yeah, my bad.

In which case, it would look terrible. I like it, Tim. Onleystudio.com. I've got something I'm dying to play for you. This was sent in by listener Tom Doolin. And I'm going to let it speak for itself. It's a submission in the form of an electronic dance music song. Idea of old They partied with Patty Guy Montagton Batty Dick Bob was a god

And Brady was bright But now they face a beast They've never tackled before They're a mere prawn Tired away from walking out the door Grown-ups to sex in the city We pay our friends We've been to and fro

The pain never ends Won't someone make this insanity stop? Get ready for the drop Oh my god That is rude You can really hear the richness of the song The texture of the music And the good news for those of you enjoying

it is there's another minute to go a minute can we maybe just pump that down a little bit i really appreciate that submission of art who sent that tom tom uh i'll say his whole name tom doolum could you hear his accent coming through? He's a Yorkshireman. Yorkshire. All right. It's not a Geordie, mate. Yeah, so there you go. So there you go.

That exists. That's fucking cool, man. I love that. That's actually excellent. I'm a little shaky on that drop, though. I like my drops a little more crisp than that. Yeah, that's fair. I mean mean you know

musical taste is uh it comes down to each different person doesn't it france writes hello timbly wimbly and the nation of oh sorry it's fran oh this one's cool no keep this going i remember this one jesus do you not remember this one Jesus Do you not remember this? Yeah If we If we get enough

Tracks together Yeah We'll release this as a As an album That would be real funny. Burn it to a CD and no one would be able to play it because he's not a CD player anymore. This one was submitted by user

Silo Civical. Silo Cibacool. That's like the active ingredient in Magic Mushrooms. Oh, there you go. Silo Cibon. Yeah, she signed off Fran. So my bad. Hello Timbly Wimbly and monty gogo i like that one for you that's good hope you're doing well i just wanted to write to say thank you so much for

shit hold on i'm just gonna see if she's okay with me sharing this well i can't see anywhere to not uh thank you for sharing your somewhat uh masochistic journey with lenny and the boys carrying the gals and now with cold search for the perfect EDM anthem. My friend ET recommended the podcast to me a couple of months ago, and I've since been addicted. I've recently started my first full-time job in film production,

which involves spending two hours every morning and evening heading to the studio before 7 a.m. and back after 8 p.m. Oh, friend. She would. Oh, dear. That is a long day. That two hours travel time.

So we'll call it an hour each way. So she's leaving the house at 6. Probably getting up at 5. She's in the biz, bro. Get home at 9. That's the biz well and truly. Are you fucking kidding me? The days are long.

The commutes would be torture without T-W-I-O-A-T to get me through every moment and love every day. I was hoping you would do me the favour of reading this email out in a friend zone. Yes. And shout out to my friend E.T. She get me through every moment and love every day. I was hoping you would do me the favour of reading this email out in a friend zone. Yes. And shout out to my friend E.T.

She's recently moved to Sri Lanka and I miss her very much. But I know she'll be listening to the podcast. It would really tickle her to be mentioned on it. Thanks for the hilarious laughs and ridiculous narrative speculation. Blowing you a kiss from London, England. For a kiss is always a gift. Or, of course, as you say it, you say, Blowing you a kiss from London,

England. That's how you talk. It's very good. Kiss, kiss friend. P.S. Please come to London. I would love to see you live and buy you guys a pint.

I would absolutely love to do a live show in London. Have you heard how British people laugh? It's insane. Well, we can't come to London, England now. Why? All our listeners left. No, they're still tuning in. They love that I, you know, notice the subtleties,

the nuances of the differences in culture between New Zealand and England. You're very good. You've got a real ear for language and accents and regionalities. I colonized New Zealand, and one of the accents And regionalities The British Colonised New Zealand And one of the first things That the people Who set it in New Zealand did Was change the laugh They were so embarrassed

Hey Fran Thanks for listening And to your friend DT Great move Putting Fran onto the podcast And I like that When she said she was In the film production business

I assumed Los Angeles Hollywood America But no She's in london england it's crazy it turns out they're making movies everywhere could have fooled me all over the world sri lanka actually is the first country um in the in the world who nominated a female leader didn't know that uh just an interesting piece of trivia i picked up from some friends this morning. Well, how timely for you to mention.

Ryan Stewart. Oh, crap. I did it again. Oh, no. There's a different name signed off here. I don't know. Dear Tim and Guy, I just want to thank you for the weekly liquid New Zealand that gets poured into my ears. That is a poetic start to this email.

Yeah, that's nice. Although I have to admit it has been detrimental to my health. A couple of weeks ago, I got a concussion from playing rugby. It was way more dangerous than American football. This is so good, the jumps you've made. All right, mate. Be like me, me tuning into this American life and then racing around in a car because like Indy 500's real popular.

Maybe that's a false equivalent. I wanted to ask if this email even gets to you, what do you think of the sport? I assume rugby is what she's talking about. Or American football. Did either of you play in school? I remember hearing in an earlier episode that you regretted that you had become too old

to ever become an All Black. Thanks for the great content. I donated to you the equivalent of 1.36 new zealand doritos thank you thank you oh from savannah georgia i see why i got confused with the name that is uh no worries i read the place and then i attributed a gender to this email sender which in retrospect i think was incorrect the person person is from Savannah, Georgia. The person is not named Savannah or Georgia. That is confusing to have a city in a greater municipal area that could both be construed as first names.

Yeah. Clean that up, Savannah, Georgia. Not you the... You know what's cool about Savannah, Georgia, though? That's where Luke Cage comes from. That is cool. What do you think about rugby, Tim? Oh, look.

I have spent an entire lifetime as a New Zealander disengaged from our national pastime and there will always be a small part of me which considers myself a real turncoat as a result of that. A real traitor to the New Zealand flag. You have no obligation to

like it. Well well society seems to suggest otherwise it's one of those things where when someone tries to force something down your throat so much you actively kind of yeah shirk it a bit and i've got quite a childish um sort of uh what's the word contrarian spirit to me so i'm like fuck you with all your nonsense plus it's one of those things where i think it's like fuck you with all your nonsense plus it's one of those things where i think it's like religion you kind of get indoctrinated into it very early and because neither of my parents are that into rugby it's like it just never happened so i'm ambivalent in a word and i never played really i played some sports when i was a kid but mainly like basketball

and tennis and that kind of stuff mainly Mainly those two. Mainly those two. How about you, Guy? You play a bit of footy? I played rugby. I was really good. And then everyone got bigger than me. And I was slower out of the gates in puberty. And then I stopped enjoying it for a bit because it was terrifying tackling men

when you are a bit of boy. And then I started playing social rugby at the end of high school and it was really fun. It's fun. I like it. I really like it. I disengaged with it in terms of following it for a while, but I've gotten back into it.

It's funny, actually. I got back into rugby and cricket. I stopped sort of watching sports for a little bit and then I reengaged with it because I wanted to have things outside of, like, being obsessive over comedy and whatnot, so, like, hobbies. and then I've re-engaged with it because I wanted to have things outside of like being obsessed obsessive over comedy and whatnot so like hobbies and I was like

well I've already got a understanding and interest with these things so I re-engaged with them like after kind of pulling myself out for a few years that's such an interesting decision to me to like actively cultivate other interests and stuff it's super good yeah

super healthy but it just seems like well I was like interesting that you decided the entry point and learning curve for all the things with which i hadn't engaged at all previously was so steep i was like anything and uh so now i'm right back on board the rugby train baby that's that's excellent yeah putting different little bits of food on your plate to make a greater meal. Dear Batman and Guybo Geronimo, I think is what we... But Geronimo is spelt differently from how they've spelt it.

Heavy flow afterglow. So hold on, let me try and read this on. Dear Batman and Guybo Geronimo, heavy flow afterglow. So I was having a spot of insomnia the other night, and what did I find on HBO streaming? None other than the Citizen Kane of our generation. So I said, fuck it, and booted that bitch up. In the getting ready to go out montage

before Squirrel gives his my favorite moment line, I found my shining light. One shot of the montage is Jarhead in the bathroom very clearly doing some manscaping on his little Jarhead. In the next fucking shot he's using the same clippers to trim zikoli's fringe i think this is genius on maximum joseph's part and a very subtle look into jarhead's character anyone who has roommates knows the guy who uses uh your shaving cream to carve a little lightning bolt into his pubes without asking

and the only way you find out is by finding your shaving cream in the shower stall and none of the girls have used it for their legs. But you overheard Jahid talking about how it's almost time for Zeus to imbue his tool with the power of Olympus. Too long, didn't read? Jahid put his balls onto Coley's neck. Feel free to use my name. Imjabin.

No, that's Imjabin. Far out. That is a very fucking funny email and articulation of an observation you've made. We've seen that. That's great. I've never noticed the cut to him using it on Zicoli's fringe. It took me about three episodes to notice that he was, like, because he sort of spins it like a gun, right?

He does. He's about to shave his pubes with it. There's a slow motion throwing in the air where he tosses it and flips it and then catches and i was always like yeah great he shaves his pubes but i never noticed the nuance that max m joseph put in in the film to then have him thank god for m jarbin yeah who picked that up and sent it over to us that's fucking funny man that That is too specific a story to be made up. Someone has shaved a lightning bolt into their pubes and then prayed for the God of gods to empower their peace. Very good.

$5 has come to us from Caitlin, and she didn't even put in a message. I just want to say thank you, Caitlin. You're a legend. Thank you very much, Caitlin. What happens in these friend zones, for those of you who are curious, is I usually do the Facebooks

and Tim does the emails. I don't have a lot of Facebook messages. It's just a lot more practical questions than friend zone specific messages. I think we can probably call it a day then, eh? Yeah. Guybo. You had a message you were going to read out. know friendzone specific messages but um i think we can probably call it a day then eh yeah guy by and um you had a message you were going to read out you said a salty one oh i don't want to end on this but i will um uh okay here we go is this business model backwards writes a redditor

from reddit on our subreddit i wanted to start listening to the worst idea of all time but the first season is behind a paywall i don't want to start season two so i simply decided not to listen to the podcast i came back here after closing the page or two rants really quickly about the backwards business model they should have put season two or three behind a paywall, not the first season. You're basically shutting out first-time listeners who didn't listen when they were free. And you know what?

Kind of a fair point. I understand where you're coming from. That's all groovy. Guess what, though? No one wanted to buy the second or third seasons. This is not some kind of wonderland where we have a magical product everyone wants to be involved with

We are the beggars Who must choose We are not the choosers Wait, I think I fucked that up Because the beggars can't be choosers Yeah, there you go, that's what I was trying to say We are the beggars who cannot choose We take what we are given

We know our place in the world That is correct Do you have a name for this person? Yeah, a little bitch Well, guess what? We take what we are given. That is it. We know our place in the world. That is correct. And how- Do you have a name for this person? Yeah, a little bitch. Yeah, well, guess what? A little bitch who's definitely not listening to this. We can say whatever we're goddamn pleased about you right now.

Listen, I understand the critique. Let me say that. I totally do. And I get that we do periodically get messages, not as frequently anymore, of people who were listening to the first season and then it just got shut off midway through and they're like, what the fuck's going on?

I will say that you can get a free trial of Howl and listen to those episodes. And I don't know, we're not going to dwell on this for too long, but Guy and I have put quite a lot of time and energy into this thing that's been totally free. And also, actually, this is where this point's going. We've recently lost a tremendous amount of money on that America trip through a sequence of events which we will briefly outline now. I think we got into this briefly on the podcast episode that's coming up next.

But there's more now. That was partly to vent and partly as a desperate ploy to encourage people who are at that live show to purchase even one bit of merchandise. We are the only podcast who are bleeding money on merch. From merchandise. We've gone the other way with it, guys. We're real trailblazers this is a perfect embodiment of the reverse invoice system that we tried to implement with blaze yeah that's our chickens have come to roost okay so here is the situation um we've got a merch

store online if you go to worstideaofalltime.com there's two options you can either donate to us or you just give us money and um flick us a little message if you so choose and we read that on the friend zone the second is to get like a t-shirt or a poster and the thing about that is the shipping is cripplingly expensive and I've always been mind this fact and I totally get why people think that sucks so I've actively over the last couple of months been trying to find another merchandise provider where the prices are a bit cheaper so if people want to get a t-shirt or something they can get it and we'll probably make a little less money off each unit and that's that's whatever i just it'd be cool for people to have our t-shirts and designs associated with the show that's a cool thing right so moved us over

or i'm in the process of moving us over to a different merchandiser which is not like a particularly easy thing to do but i'm figuring it out and i got them the new one to send us all of our merchandise for this three city tour that we did in the states but um because we got the designs and everything to them pretty late notice because the whole trip was organized pretty last minute uh they were only able to get it shipped to the final destination which was anaheim so what we then were faced with was the situation when we have three cities worth of merch at the last destination and no merch at the first two cities so guy and i then had to scramble in portland and san francisco to basically go to printers and try and like within six hours before the show get posters printed so we had something to sign for the fans.

We did that. We ordered too many, of course. At both shows, naturally. And so we then... So we ordered too many of that at a high price. So that was a bit of a stinger. We rocked up to, now hear this, a fantastic podcast festival, by the way.

We had a fucking good time there. Go next year, everyone. It's really well put on. With more merchandise than fans i would say to the tune of three to one yeah definitely yeah and that was the last stop on our tour in terms of both uh chronologically and also uh in terms of like organization fat like fam wise that was the last announcement we put out to you guys so it was the least likely that we would have fans who knew to come to the show. Yeah. We don't organise things well.

So we had this truckload of merch, and the day before we're due to get on the plane to come back to New Zealand, we're, like, doing all our last-minute shit. We go to FedEx, try and get a quote for how much it's going to cost to ship this merch. It was a meagre three boxes of stuff. We've got snapbacks, beanies, mugs, and posters. And not a lot. Not a heap.

Not a ton. I mean, like... Like maybe, I don't know, like 80 hats or something in total. And not a lot physically. In terms of the upfront investment from us to get them made in the first place. Quite a bit. Quite a lot. Relative to the, you know, the infrastructure of the business.

I would say it's a fucking shitload. We were going through the numbers in the Airbnb before we left the house. I was like, oh, dude, we have fucked this up. So we go to FedEx to find out how much it'll cost to send back to New Zealand and just so we can sort something out. It's like we need to solve this problem in the immediate

so we can think about how we how we shift it long term so i'm expecting tops like 350 us dollars which still is a lot of money for our current operation the woman looks me dead in the eye and gives me a quote of 950 us dollars to ship it back to new zealand with the slowest shipping option i was doing laps of the block so that we didn't have to pay the valet because that was the only parking option at the FedEx we wound up going to. Just to indicate how much we're trying to scrim. Tim

is desperately texting me being like fuck bro, fuck. This is not good. What do we do? And so we wound up buying an extra suitcase and distributing not all of the merchandise. We got a good 60% of it spread amongst the four bags that we had in an attempt to get it past customs without them knowing.

Because if you declare it, then you've got to pay all the tax and customs duty on it. And I tell you what, we weren't that keen to do that because that was the main bulk of that big fee from FedEx. On the way to the airport, we were doing role plays in the conversation of customs portals. So I'm like, what is with all of these things that say pay the boys? And we would say, well, the thing is with this, these aren't commercial goods for resale.

They're Christmas presents. Because first of all, we've lost nothing but money on them. Yeah. And second of all, yeah, they're gifts. They're gifts for ourale. They're Christmas presents. Because, first of all, we've lost nothing but money on them. Yeah. And second of all, yeah, they're gifts. They're gifts for our family. So look, all of that to say, sometimes we have to make commercial decisions which may not make a lot of sense

from the outside looking in. But always know that we have our fans' best interests mainly at heart and a little bit our survival in mind um so with that in mind once we've got the new merchandise store up uh hey how lovely would it be if you bought a t-shirt oh yeah here's the other hilarious part about the merchandise order snafu so the because we process the whole merchandising order through these new people who sent it all to Anaheim. And the poster prints we sent them were exclusively the posters

for the San Francisco and Portland shows because we had to make America worse to get into a poster. Yeah. So the only posters we had available to sell at the Now Here This Fest were for the two shows that previously happened that week. That's what you call limited edition merchandise. So in the future, we will have a few posters to

upload which do not relate to the current situation. What I'll do is I'll take those posters and I'll put them on top of the New York Bell House Worst Idea of All Time finale extravaganza posters. I'll have, you know, a couple hundred

tour posters for when we make it big. What a positive note to end the friend zone on. It's fun though. We can share this information with our friends. Of course. And that's what I love. That's what I love to do.

I've genuinely got to go. I've got to go to my regular job. We've all got places to be. Making the money back. We can win it back. We'll win it back. Ladies and gents, thanks for tuning in to the Friend Zone.

We'll see you on the real worst idea of all time. The next episode is the episode live from Anaheim. We had a ball. Michael McMillan is a great man. You should follow him on Twitter. He's funny and he's cool. At McMills. M-C-M-I-L-L-Z.

Got a hell of an Instagram too, so follow that there. But this is Tim Batt signing off. Yeah, also Guy Montgomery. Hey everybody, thank you so much for tuning in we will catch you when we catch you well it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy come to

the friend zone and have a good time yes it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy cause making friends is the best idea of all time thanks for listening to this podcast if you're thirsty for another, why not try The Male Gaze? It's The Male Gaze.

Dear Chris. Oh, I like that. I was wondering, in your experiences, what is the worst thing someone's ever said to you during sex was? Oh, this is so rude. He says to me, oh my God, i can't even say it it's so bad i'm so excited about hearing this i want to fuck you so hard you're not going to be able to walk out of here i think that my problem with it is it's not something that you can build off

no i couldn't yes and it i couldn't say like yes and i want you to push me out in the wheelchair like yeah that's i'm gonna be my carer for the rest of my life after i'm paralyzed absolutely wrecked as a terrible thing