The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Twenty Two

Episode Date: October 3, 2016

In a #TWIOAT first, the Friendzone was recorded live in front of a global online audience. This episode is an unedited and unabridged copy of the audio from the broadcast from International Podcast Day 2016 (Oct 1). It long, it is winding, it is an all time blow for audio quality. This one is for real fans only, I'd say. #PayTheBoiz  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you going to play that Dastardly intro. Oh man, whereabouts are they that this is happening at 5am? Good question, can you answer that please? Where are you? I will continue reading, I'll broadcast an image of Tim, but it will be my voice I don't want to Very very funny deep cut from at Jan Pribb. I don't deserve to be seen. Who said Wi-Fi access one out of five. That is a very deep cut. While I had a message to read from Gustavo, just beneath it the next message I queued up was from the the one and only Jan Pribb. So I will instead read that message. Hey Tram and Guy She called you Tram

Tram and Guy ding dong. Which in my books is funny. How are my favourite boys? Just wanted to check your message to show my love and support hang in there lads. Thought I'd give you something to do in the meantime. Out of the sets of three people below, who would you rather do the following with? Have a giant feast of prawn salad, the finest sushi,

sobu noodles, and of course, Blaze Pizza with hashtag HowDoYouBlaze, hashtag you're a real piece of Blaze Pizza. This is my own hashtag hashtag pay the boys watch their retrospective movie with them every week for a year or have a confrontation with them with a knife can you hear me though link the YouTube please the YouTube is about blaze pizza

Dakota NZ or gold star Realty Solutions calm or gold starrealtysolutions.com or goldstarrealtysolutions.com have you got us up and running? apparently maybe and it only took we were only an entire hour late I cannot apologise profusely enough folks oh my word

slight delay on the YouTube but I think it's up and running it's bigger oh it's too big if this is working then it's a good thing it's crossed over deck full of diamonds Tim why aren't you more excited fair call okay the reason is I'm hungry and I'm nervous that this isn't gonna stay working oh my god thanks so much everyone I'm also not a hundred percent sure which microphones this is coming from so can someone oh fuck it I just won't change anything we'll just will be this is us so speakers though these are the microphones it might be that one it might be this one does it sound like we're far away or close by Mike wise because then we'll know which microphones to fucking there's a little

bit of a lag so we're gonna be reacting light it's about 30 seconds I think oh that's okay okay well congratulations buddy god I'm so sorry that look let's get on with it you guys didn't come here to hear us apologise for fucking up a stream for like an hour. Did ya? Came here for the friendzone. With Tim and Guy. That's true. Should we do an announcement at the start that we can tag onto a recorded episode? Yes. Yes. Yeah? Wait, what are you saying? Should we do the announcement now?

No, no, no. Should we say, so we go, hello, welcome to the friend zone and then that will be released to live stream. No, I'm gonna release all of this This is this including the last hour. No, it's it'll be fine. You don't need to be so formal. It'll be okay We'll just we're okay. It's used to the relaxed Environment of the Paris sing it live string it! They're asking us to sing it. Three, four, well it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy, this is the friend zone, you have a good time, this is the friend zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time.

Correct. idea of all time correct welcome along to uh the the live stream as scheduled at 3 p.m on the 1st of october new zealand time of course to those of us joining us on the 30th of september yeah happy international podcast yeah absolutely that's the day it is it needed a day and yay verily it arrived So here we are Celebrating the majesty that is podcasts Tim. What's your favorite thing about a podcast? All the people that brings together so you like the sense of community that podcasts provide yes I do that and also the fact that upon podcast you can build an entire empire of diamonds and concrete if you really stay at it for a long time.

It's pretty much at this juncture, in this day and age, it's podcasts or realty. So, you know, it's one or the other. And where Paige chose Gold Star Realty Solutions, you chose to found not just any empire, Tim, but a little empire. Did you Tell the Periscope people to come on over here as well. Oh, actually, you know, I really should tweet I'm sorry to interrupt. I should tweet out the URL You should for everyone who's not with us at the moment too. Don't worry about that This is the shop by the way. I think your microphones like covering your whole face there guy. Yeah, that's and that's for good reason

Why don't we we we chuck it down there? Think of me as Wilson in Home Improvement, a show which actually was broadcast at the same time during prime time as Seinfeld. And all of the media, the hoopla around the Home Improvement vs Seinfeld battle for ratings, they created a lot of faux animosity between Tim Allen and Jerry Seinfeld, and that asked them about it. it and Jerry Seinfeld said what are we going to do write jokes which

are against tools which I thought was a very funny thing to say he said all we're going to do is make the best show we can make and hope that people watch it that's what they did I'd say Jerry Seinfeld won that battle if not ratings, certainly in terms of cultural outreach and syndication. I mean Seinfeld holds all sorts of records. He's currently streaming, I think on Hulu. Paid some fucking exorbitant fee to buy up the entire back catalogue. Did Hulu buy all of Seinfeld? Oh yeah, big time.

I can't even appreciate how much that would cost. It's too much money to think about. Guys, here's where I'm at. Here's where my head's at at the moment. I am quite tired. I'm hungover. I did a gig last night in the nation's capital. And what else? I struggled to get on a flight

and just made it because the flight got delayed slightly and now I'm just like super agitated because that stream took so long to fix are you quite intense? I am man, I'm in a bad way that's ok, and it's also to be expected because you've literally, for an hour

while I've been sitting over here shooting the breeze riffing and scatting you have been on the internet pushing buttons clicking links holding wires plug them into holes stuff I don't even understand and at no point did I profess to understand or offer any help for which I apologize as a friend to you that's all right we're here now also a friendship is about having both tit and tat, yin and yang. I had two friends who I visited in Amsterdam recently who are, to be honest, I could only describe as being in the midst

of one of the greatest benders I've ever come in contact with. They were six weeks deep, Tim. And they were very quick to cite the problem with their relationship as friends while they were admittedly having a good time. They said that the reason that they spurred one another on so intensely is because they were yin and yin. Oh I see, that is a problem. What they need is balance and what they were not getting by any metric was balance. Can someone just tell us on the comments as well, thank you I will chill out. Is guy tons louder than me because that's

going to tell me which microphone where is actually working because I still haven't figured it out. And to answer your question flow motion how long is it before a bender just becomes regular addiction? I say 365 days which is not a scientific metric it's not a number I stand behind at all but it is what I just said. People die white okay good equal good nice in that case I think these are out of the picture put get that out of the which is actually way lovelier because then it means it's Wilson from home improvement I'm not telling you to stop being Tim Allen am I I wouldn't do that to. I thought you were going to move my microphone. Sorry, did you, how many of these did we get?

We read Lily's one? We read the top two. Anything beneath that is yet to be discussed. Hey, also, just retweet the tweet I put out because it's got the link. Hi everybody, it's Tim here. So good to see you, thanks for coming. Good, good, good, good, good. We want to see the stache.

Comedy moustache, that's what that is. No, it's not a comedy moustache, this is a regular moustache. And I really, I don't take issue with the accusation because that's why I initially grew up. I thought I was funny with the moustache. But as I've grown in self-confidence as a comedian, I now think I'm funny with or without the moustache. I just like having it there on my face. My lips get lonely, alright? Think of these two as neighbors with some animosity and this guy is quite a solitary figure he doesn't mind doing something by himself but this guy is it he's an extrovert all right he feeds on the energy of other

people so you put them together you're gonna wind up with some tension what do you do introduce a moustache suddenly there's an alternative form of company for the top lip who can turn to this guy while this guy gets some of that valuable alone time. Alright? The moustache, not a sentient being, doesn't have an opinion on anything. That would mean that the top lip who talks to the moustache is legally insane because it's talking to an inanimate

object. Good god. I want to read... Oh yeah, because this is a friend zone. I'm getting into it now you guys I'm getting the tension's leaving my body we're up streaming

I think we're okay have a just have a lovely sip of this pureed Blaze pizza hashtag pay the boys mmm which reminds me

we need to order some pizza that isn't Blaze because I'm fucking hungry and I think then it'd really stick it to the man if we got some pizza hot in this in this sitch you really think that would be a lesson learned the hard way for blaze pizza

yeah hard out I'll order some in a second first though allow me to read a message in fact um it's probably a better way to do this but um this is how it's going to happen we got a 50 donation from someone called amanda luff who, gentlemen. I really enjoyed this week's podcast, especially when Guy said the word sweaty twice during the episode. I'm not sure why I enjoyed it so much, but it is now in second place of my favourite words spoken by foreign persons.

Oh, wait, is this from a while ago? Yes, it is. We read that one. Yeah. But it bears repeating. It's funny, isn't it? Usually it takes about three or four sentences before I remember that it's been heard before there's always a

little catch somewhere and that the catch was the second favorite works I remember us being like what the hell is the deal with you not telling us what the number one is Amanda you can't restrain you go that was your trigger my trigger was the word sweaty because I do it, and I generally remember saying it. If not in explicit detail, at least like a little bit. And I don't remember saying it lately. I haven't been very sweaty lately because it's been a bit cooler here. I'm going into the well because we've missed some really old ones,

which is why I reread that one that you guys have already had. I kind of started the wrong way. Eric Nelson. This might be another one we've already read don't I hey Guybo and Timbers

keep reading no I think we've read this one hello friends a big thank you from one of the two sweet Texan boys who got to enjoy

the live reading of Grown Ups 2 yep we have read that good on you Eric now usually I mark the ones I've already read with a little thing

to indicate that I don't read them again but you live in your land don't you uh fuck it up hey uh fuck it up uh for those of you watching right now on the periscope by the way please feel free to migrate over to blazepizza.co.nz or goldstarrealtysolutions.com uh which are two websites you, if we are your friends really wanting to be the art house committed movie it was and have some sort of interesting virulent marketing campaign, the least they could do, surely, would be to buy the domain name goldstarrealtiesolutions.com

and put some user profiles of their staff on the site. I've got a hell of a message for you guys here. I don't like the fact that my eye line goes down every cyst out for Harambee. Fuck, that's funny. I like that. Oh, they want to see the cyst. Uh, yeah.

Look. Yeah. For those of you listening in after time. They've earned this, man. You are. You've earned some special treats, you guys, because you stuck with us for an hour past what was anticipated.

No, some people will just be joining us. And also, the cyst is going to be a bit of a disappointment to you now because as I had hoped after the operation It healed? It healed. I haven't seen this bad boy either. Because they nicked my arm with a knife you will, you should

be able to see, I don't know if it'll be a scar but certainly just a small... Whip it out! Should I get on some camera work?'s just that's just that tiny where is that red mark oh that yeah I see that is tiny yeah it did very neat work oh they're the Dutch they're very good let's get up a bit closer for there. Gustavo gave us 50 American dollars, which is so much money, and writes the following. This sounds familiar already. Oh, does it? Continue.

Oh, shit. It's quite new, though, I think. Well, let's go on the journey and find out. Dear Spindly Timbly Wimbly and Flashy Montmont, you read the YouTube comments and see if someone tells me that this has already been read 30 seconds ago so I can respond to it. Discovered the podcast around halfway through the first season and now find myself re-listening to seasons 1 and 2 when there aren't new episodes available. I'm pretty sure I read that as it's written. Thank you for getting me through long drives and boring

work days. You might not know this but last month my home state of Louisiana got hit with some of the worst flooding in its history, with over 100,000 homes destroyed and thousands of people displaced. I did hear about that. It's fucking awful. Including long-time Worst Idea listener, Katie Penny.

Shout out. My wife and I were spared from the floodwaters, but we decided to take some money out of our already tiny savings Oh, I don't like this. Accounts to help victims where we could. Oh, no, that's good. I thought the following was what's going on. Do you like that? Yeah, I do. Here's the deal though. I've read this before by the way. The reason it's familiar is I read it to myself this morning.

How did you have it? Because he also sent it as a Facebook message. Okay, here's the deal though. Your podcast has brought me so much joy that I've decided to take $50 from our help the flood victim stash and send it your way spend it wisely my dear Kiwis maybe build a prototype

of the jizz koozie should you choose to read this email out you can feel free to say my name as my wife refuses to listen to the podcast

so she'll never know where that money went sentimentally yours Gustavo PS I recently watched the Lou review episode 1 on

YouTube and noticed Guy Guy was extremely hostile towards Timmy Tim through the entire segment not sure why as it was comedic gold you're a real piece of shit Guy Montgomery Gustavo so kind you've got a lot going on there a lot to unpack firstly I'm so glad to hear that you've kind of come

out of the flood situation you know, you're there, you're alive, you're in a position where you can communicate with us on the internet, that's good. I'm very uncomfortable with the fact that you've taken 50 bucks out of the flood fund and put it our way, so I can promise everyone watching that I will definitely be putting that money back towards one of the flood... I'm not going to hold on to that.

Hashtag unpay the boys. Yeah, that's not one that I'm comfortable hanging on to. So, in fact, you know what we could do? If anyone... I mean, look, donating to us is a wonderful cause, and we don't have tons of money, but we're okay. We've got computers and internet streams

that work, so maybe if there's a red cross, specifically for the Louisiana floods, I would encourage people to chuck some money Gustavo's way. You're such a nice guy, Tim. Your instincts are so kind that sometimes it overrides the best business interests of the podcast. Yeah, of course, but that's okay. And while I respect your sentimentality,

a trait to be cherished and nourished, I resent you as a business partner. and I would like to shake your hand sir someone says hashtag kiss the cyst a miss is always a cyst the cyst has really taken off I feel like the real star of this episode so far has been the cyst well yeah and I'm sorry to disappoint the die-hard cyst fans but the cyst is no longer with us right although the Dutch doctor did tell me to when I'm sorry to disappoint the die-hard cyst fans, but the cyst is no longer with us, right? Although the Dutch doctor did tell me to, when I got back to New Zealand, to go to another doctor and get them to remove the small, sort of original cyst. So remember, it started as a benign cyst, it became an infected abscess or cyst, and then they cut out the bad part, I took antibiotics to remove the infection, and it shrank back down to its original form.

I took antibiotics to remove the infection and it shrank back down to its original form I have not yet been to the doctor to move that and I like to think Well part of that is down to general laziness on the part of me, go Montgomery But the other part is out of a blind almost overriding subconscious sense of loyalty to you dear listeners Someone saying they'll pay 75 yeah oh really are you kidding me just kiss the cyst

fuck alright we're gonna hold you to that person does this make us something else apart from podcast hosts yeah we're web girls now cam girls I mean

oh give it a proper kiss he's paying that is a proper kiss 75 bucks what do you want me to do I would be furious just a tiny bit of time oh my god Jesus they give it a proper kiss you think it's like probably five bucks they were already doing just a tiny bit of time oh my god Jesus now you do you know what went through my head to do that it was the fact that you guys have been with us

for like an hour and a half after it's just it's it's all healed skin don't worry about it it's not even kissing a sister really it's just it's it's all healed skin don't worry about it it's not even kissing assist really it's just kissing your friend's back which is something i'm sure all of you do regularly all the time we're good here um here's a message you want to read this one out assist is always a gift is actually an outstanding tagline uh i'd love to i'd love to read it out. 27, four days ago. Yeah, this would be new. Here we go. Okay, this one comes from... Please don't use my name. Dear Tim and Guy,

please don't use my name. I wanted to pass on a gem of a so bad it's good movie for your listeners and hopefully you two cheeky boys. We are cheeky boys. We are some of the cheekiest. Oh my God, the stuff we get up to. The IMDB blurb follows. Battlefield baseball is a tough game. It doesn't end until all the members on the opposing team are dead. In this game the Ghetto High

team is composed of blue-faced zombies and their opponents on the Sido High team know they don't have a chance of beating them unless they can bring back a star pitcher who has a lethal pitch called the super tornado but who is hung up his cleats and there's no desire to return to the game. Here I'll run for a second I missed something at the start here. It's called Battlefield Baseball. Is it a video game? No it's a movie but it's like a post-apocalyptic

Oh sorry I fucking my brain like completely removed. That's okay. Two high schools face each other. Yeah. And I think our heroes... We'll face zombies. I think our heroes... We'll face zombies. I think our heroes are the Sido High team, because Gido High sound like the favourites, and Sido High don't have a chance

unless they can bring back their retired star pitcher and their signature pitch, the Super Tornado. Wow. But he's hung up his cleats, and he has no desire to return to the game. Fuck, that's a good pitch. I will... Yeah.

Sounds terrible. I'm going to watch gonna watch I'll watch the start of it seriously I can't stress enough how facepalmingly amazing this movie is to sweeten the deal it's so bad that the full thing is on YouTube much love and support name suppressed bro thank you for your donation yeah thank you very much person whose name we're not gonna say and thank you Matt Garrett who apparently assures us the $75 has been paid. Are you fucking serious?

Apparently so. God damn it. And if that's true, I'll get an email shortly to prove that. So we could call your shit out, Matt. We can do it live on an episode, which is a new and exciting feature. I'm still on the periscope just I keep nones come over yeah that's why the funds can you comment on that or I don't know how pure I don't know how social medias work don't pretend to be a

grandparent with all I don't appear as one day I don't with periscope they much as true script periscopes child's play this one was from how many days ago nine days ago might Nine days ago. Might have missed it. Hannah Barry? Does that ring a bell? Oh, shit. I don't know if we're supposed to...

Skipping to the end. Hannah, I don't mind if you say my last name too, Barry. Okay, I think this is new. $40 from lovely Hannah. Dear friends, after many, many hours of podcasting the hell out of your podcast... Sorry, enjoying the hell out of your podcast sorry enjoying the hell out of your podcast I like option one where you write out all the bar transcript and podcast that as a recording where you read it like a diary hey guys I found a thing that you made so I've transcribed it recreated it and here's $40 on top of

there I've been enjoying this shit doing it doing it. Only... Wishing I could somehow play a part and it finally occurred to me that making a donation would A. Be only fair, given that I am a doctor with a steady income enjoying the fruits of your labour indefinitely for free but will not indefinitely. Does that mean forever?

Right? Indefinitely means like there is an end point on this. No, indefinitely means it's open-ended Oh, that's true I guess the episodes will be out there for even more and be much more Importantly a reasonable guarantee to be included in the friend zone not just any friend zone Hannah. You're in the live friend zone That's right. This is happening right now for about how many people are watching how many people are on this stream online? Timber on periscope. I'm gonna turn the phone off so I can use it as a

research tool now sorry oh 100 oh we'll crack three digits it's bloody beautiful so they're all getting it in real time I wish I had twigged to this obvious fact sooner but please enjoy some of the Australian taxpayers

dollars which make up my salary in exchange for your great sacrifice in the name of I had twigged to this obvious fact sooner but please enjoy some of the Australian taxpayers dollars which make up my salary in exchange for your great sacrifice in the name of pointlessness and shouting for it I like that we are taking money straight out of you hard working Australians hands and putting it in our cash stuff kiwi pockets like that that's not what you think when you pay

you know you're withholding tax or if you don't contract out your regular income tax is it? no it's not what you think when you pay, you know, your withholding tax, or if you don't contract out your regular income tax, is it? No, it's not. Can you imagine if you knew when you were filing out your withholding tax form that some of that money was going straight into Australian podcasting pockets? What this is like is, recently there was a big scandal, because our retirement scheme in New Zealand is called KiwiSaving. There's a whole lot of different investment funds that the government manages,

and we found out that a couple of them pay for weapons or are invested in weapons companies and land mines and stuff. It's like that. It's like finding out your government is involved in investing in weapons. You mean to tell me that they skim like the interest of the KiwiSaver investment? No they're just like you get a pool of money and you invest it in different companies and one of them happened to be like a weapons manufacturer not great I guess but now morally dubious but good business kicked up a massive stick and we know what a sucky you are business Molly dubious and good at business is exactly the sort of thing I'd like to impress upon you Tim as you insist on returning money to those in Louisiana I wonder my heart goes out give a shout out to William who sees you guys this is my friend I'm a young

man in the prime of his life and I'm watching this damn podcast live stream with your fuck that is the attitude bro William gets it that's the thing yeah this is what it's all about if there's what you like then do that I've got to finish Hannah's message yeah I'm here you're both very brave boys very good boys and I think it would mean a lot to me If you could give me a shout out to a great advocate of yours here in Oz Who first turned me on to your podcast? I give full unrestricted license on his behalf to announce his name on the pub Podcast is I know it will bring him a warm feeling inside to one of my favorite people Harry John Barton

Thanks for being a good friend and an even gooder podcast buddy keep it up Tim and Guy this round of applause goes out to you Harry John Barton knowing that for every dollar you earn 20 cents is landing in my pocket well bam

get that up ya and a dog you Australian pig big shout out to all of our Australian fans who are with us of course does this one look oh no that's the one we just did I got one for you yeah with Jan Priv who is definitely didn't you read that before Jan Priv nah I only started it oh we wound up in transition during it so I'm gonna go into my sent mail mail. It's 5.21am where I am. Where are you, Maria?

That's insane. That sounds like the UK or Europe. Love your attitude. The Europeans know how to fucking party, man. Oh, no. Jan Pribb, actually, what she did is she proposed a hypothetical situation that we didn't get to address because we transitioned from the periscope to the actual live stream. Mate, this seems like the perfect opportunity.

From listener Jan Pribb, who gives us full permission to say her last name, or his, it's Pribb. Jan is one of those ambiguous names, which it's hard to, you know, without meeting the person, it's hard to know what gender-specific pronoun

to use. So, Jan. Take a punt. Jan, you don't identify with either gender, which I respect. Because it is merely a spectrum. Okay. This is really tripping you up. Hang in there, lads.

This talk about gender has really tripped you up, isn't it? Well, I just wasn't looking. I wasn't scanning for my point. Out of the sets of three people below, who would you rather do the following with? So the people that we're thinking about are Higgins, Miranda and Squirrel. They're a package. Okay. Officer Dante, Liza Minnelli and Paige. They're also a package. Patty Schwartz, Coffee Guy and James Reed from the Feelers. Oh I'm sorry, you're going to have to start again. What's the first package?

Higgins, Miranda and Squirrel. Dante, Liza Minnelli and Paige. P. Schwartz, Coffee Guy and James Reed from the Feelers. Who by the way are probably the most powerful triumvirate of all of those. So you've got to choose one for each. It's like, you know, shag, marry, kill. God damn, some people want to pick Schwartz. You'll get it. Which of those three groups would you like to have a confrontation with them with a knife? So it's those three with one knife and you with one knife.

The second combo. Paige and, um, who else was it? Dante, Liza and Nelly. Yeah, absolutely. You like to get in a knife fight with them? Yeah, absolutely. It'd be the most fun. Have you watched much Officer Dante? Oh, the character Officer Dante. It'd be Officer Dante, yeah. It'd be the most fun. Have you watched much Officer Dante? Oh, the character Officer Dante. It'd be Officer Dante, yeah.

Okay. Is he Flazu? No, Shaq's Flazu, I'm sorry. Dante's Dante, Officer Dante. Here's why. To get in a knife fight with a sensational talent like Liza Minnelli would be a career and life highlight. It would be so sweet. Yeah. How good with it be to say that some people will wax lyrical about going to Vegas and

seeing Eliza Minnelli live performance imagine being like oh yeah I once got in a knife fight with beloved entertain Eliza Minnelli I'm not here to argue with you I'm not dope with it but you raise a valid point that's that's why and also I think Paige is the kind of guy who'd bring a lot of bravado into the mix, but also wouldn't be able to back it up with a lot of skills, and I feel like I could out-knife him. Officer Dante, to me, sounds like someone who would,

A, use his position as a lawyer. Okay, so what do we know about Officer Tonde? Yes. He pulled a gun on his closest friends in a Kmart car park for a laugh. So he's not going to respect respect the rules restrictions of a knife fight Yeah, I thought you throw a knife you put a knife on officer Dante. You got a gun in your face. Yeah He's unhinged. Yeah, he is Hey, wait a minute. He didn't pull the gun checked it. Well, he's there. Oh, yeah, okay

He's out of the car like he's driving the bus he's shooting guns it's crazy stuff anyway who would you like to watch their respective movie with every week for a year so you've already eliminated Officer Donto, Liza, Nellie and Paige you've got to watch a movie you've got to do the podcast with one of those trios

and you're pretty much picking from James Reed from the Feelers Patty Schwartz and Coffee Guy. Like this is not a question Patty Schwartz, Coffee Guy and James Reid from the feelers there is an amazing combo of friends to hang out with that's such a good crew. Yeah it's a hot troupe and then the other one is so that means that you're gonna wind up having a giant feast of prawn salad sushi, sobu noodles and blazed pizza with Higgins, Miranda and Squirrel which sounds like a pretty fun dinner party

Dees I feel like Higgins and Squirrel, or Higgins is definitely gonna say something that's gonna upset Miranda Mmm Squirrel's probably just gonna make quiet introverted asides to you in between conversational breaks You know? I hope we've addressed your question Jan Yeah I hope you're satisfied with that there's a lot of people throwing requests through for some song intros so like some some Steve Buscemi

mystery tours and some Petty Shorts party time intros it's been a while it's been a while since we dusted them off but um I feel like you guys for being here you've earned a special little treat little present so um you want to do it yeah do you yeah I want to I want to p. You want to do it? Yeah. Do you? Yeah, I want to puh-puh. Oh, man. I want to puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh. I feel like I'm Paul McCartney and you're Ringo Starr. In what way? I say yes to everything?

Yeah. Yeah. What's your hesitation? Oh, I've just got a bladder full of... um... of urine. Pee, if you will. Yeah. It's halting your ability to sing

Fuck that's the other chair. We're all right. So do it dig date dig date ha ha ha ha ha ha today's leader ha is Puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, Party time! It's Patrick Flourish's wasn't nigger he is on the live stream Patty Schwartz! Party time! He's trying to figure out which microphone to light now Patty Schwartz! Party time! He's in the boardroom he's giving us some cash now! Patty Schwartz!

Party time! With Patty Schwartz I will do that as well I change all kinds of colours depending on my uh Yeah that'll do for now Exhaustion and exhaustion I will do that as well I change all kinds of colours depending on my physical exhaustion and exertion you got what you wanted there was a door do you know what I liked out of that though

you knew exactly when I was going to hit into the paddy from the pee we've got that connection we haven't done it for a while and I was nervous we'd blow it and in front of a live audience too but we've blown that connection we haven't done it for a while and I was nervous we'd blow it and in front of a live audience too yeah it would have been real bad

but we've blown it before on podcasts and you know we're quick recoverers so it's okay there's nothing for it fuck that actually gave me I'm like I feel dizzy

yeah yeah yeah it's a bit of a workout good god quite guttural $20 from Eric did we hear from Eric finally Eric you fucking hold out

hey guys just wanted to chip in for all the hours of entertainment I've provided. Oh, maybe I have read this one. He's provided. Ten days. Hey, guys. Just want to pay you for listening to my podcast.

You're a real pal. You have provided, I moved to the US two years ago and was keen to hear some New Zealand podcasts when someone recommended yours. Now I'm totally suckered in and will listen to the end before watching We Are Your Friends for myself.

I'm going back listening to season 2 in between current episodes and I reckon I'll check out season 1 on Howl after that love to hear that, use the code with words, keep your sure to be flagging soon spirits up cheers Eric, thank you so much for the donation Eric and the kind message

um yeah, good on you, New Zealand podcasts I'm running a few now yeah check some other ones out got a little in plaque about buddy but some plugs in some Arthur it's an orify the list the plural of our offices Little Empire podcast calm the two that I think are most suited for an international audience one that does exist in one that doesn't just yet. Alice Sneddon was a guest on our show about six episodes ago and she has one half of a fantastic show with Rose Matifeo called

Boners of the Heart which you can seek out, a second season's about to drop very soon. And then the other one which is about to start features two friends of a guy of mine called Chris Parker and Eli Mathewson and that show's going to be called the male gaze and we've recorded because because they gave and we've already recorded a couple episodes and it's fucking dynamite there's so good I think everyone's gonna love that show they're all good people you also can't I can't walk out boys I can't even not shout out the walkout boys of course, because Nick and Joe will get on an episode of our podcast soon

they used to do a podcast called Chief Tuesday and they rebranded it Walkout Boys where they see the latest blockbuster movie of the week and then they have to walk out at exactly half time give a review of the first half of the movie and then guess at what happens in the second half it is literally a worse idea

I love that it's a different brand of torture but it's up there in terms of a terrible idea. So there's your New Zealand podcast for you, Eric. Great shout out, Tim. I'm still full of pee, by the way. That wasn't a gag. Oh, you can... If you need to... Look,

you did such a good job of padding that if you need to go pissed, go do it, man. I'm just going to go in the garden. Oh, why? You're so close to my house. What, what? Ruth Greenwood Wright, I'll really try and spin this out, okay? Picky?

He should be so lucky to have my urine in his garden. I've been eating a lot of soil. And soil shakes. I've been making... Oh, so you're returning to the earth what you... Yes. What is that saying? What?

Return to... Your urine is what you drink. Return to Caesar? What is Caesar's? You are what you eat, and your urine is what you... Come out this way. There's a lot of cables everywhere. Your urine is what you drink.

Okay, rude. This is where I'm carrying a lot of the urine right now, by the way, everyone. In this middle part of my body, the bladder. Maybe lower, actually. This is my tummy. And I don't keep my urine in my tummy you fucking haters good address to cam there guy from Ruth dear spinley and flash is it just me or are your nicknames now starting to make you sound like a kids TV show yeah it's either there or like a natural transition hey go piss I'm going don't

slow it down kids that's what I'm aiming for what kids show that will you and I host the kids shows I think there's too much dirt on us now I don't think it would work you know what I mean we only eat the finest fruit fact okay Michelle Obama would be on board with that. Because she's into healthy eating and stuff, which is a great cause. It's like the easiest way to get us all healthy. Ruth writes,

and thank you so much for the donation, Ruth, because I see that you've paired that with a fucking generous 50 US dollars. Amazing. Amazing. She writes, after the kids show thing, I finally got my act together and sent you a donation.

Thank you for turning so many hours of pain into such wonderful entertainment for the rest of us. I started listening to you because I'm an Aussie and I find NZ accents hilarious. But I stayed listening because it turns out that at least two New Zealanders, possibly more, that Rosemary was hilarious, are funny not only because of their accents, what a win for Anzac Relations. Anzac for those who don't know stands for Australia New Zealand Army Corps. Goes back a century. They are our brothers in arms, even though we're enemies on the rugby field, you know, when it counts we stick together. I wanted to share just one

happy coincidence of my listening to your insanity I really wanted to go for a jog at 2 a.m. on Saturday night and I live in Chicago senior Ozzie loves in Chicago listen to New Zealand podcast this is the beauty of it so international to any of your flatmates who don't know what you're doing right now yeah literally just me looking at a camera people looking in from the house made you don't you just die like actually it's good I'm a vlogger fucking Just me looking at a camera, people looking in from the house, me looking at a camera just kinda yelling. I'm a vlogger. Fucking kill me. Um...

I wanted to share... Oh yeah, coincidence. I went for a jog, 2am, can be fairly dangerous in Chicago. I also watch far too many murder mystery TV shows, and a woman running alone in the middle of the night is just a standard opening scene. Magical murder mystery tour is coming to take Ruth away. To help me be less scared, I listened to one of your episodes as I jogged through the streets and parks. Empty.

All gone. The result was a woman running alone in the middle of the night laughing uncontrollably. It might have looked weird and I probably didn't end up running very fast due to all the laughing. But I had a great time and I got home safely. Thank you, boys. One final night, we have a Blaze Pizza in Chicago. And I heard it was really good. That fucking watch yourself there, Ruth.

Because Chicago's like the home of a particular style of pizza. Do you know this is... Until Blaze pay us, I'd say go anywhere but. You're in Chicago. I wanted to go but also wanted to remain loyal to the whole worst idea of all time family. I should have read on one sentence before I opened my mouth. I went in and asked if they were

linked in any way to the Los Angeles Blaze Pizza. Turns out they are not. And also turns out Blaze Pizza in Chicago is delicious. Keep up the fantastic work. The plot thickens. Thank you, Ruth. So, have we got two independent companies called Blaze Pizza? No, there's no way in hell. I don't think so. Sorry, we were looking at notes about the microphone, which for you guys would be 30 seconds ago it's real fucking trippy to try and like

figure out all the different but we'll just ignore some of that all of these free platforms that you get to broadcast yourself from they're not good enough for mine and if you're listening YouTube which you definitely will be because I know that a little intern has to review all of the live broadcasts on your stupid fucking network

someone gave us $100 12 days ago yeah it's a google no youtube intern dude they left a short message and they're in Christchurch wanna hear this one yeah is it dad yeah oh it says I'm still waiting for your mum to invite us to dinner from James

I won't read James' last name because I can't tell if he wants that or not but that's his last name does that look familiar to you yeah do you know that person? He is a very good guy we play in the same fantasy football league he's a good friend of mine. Nice. He and his girlfriend moved to Christchurch recently. He's a doctor. He can afford it. They moved down there for work. Yeah I don't feel too bad about the donation knowing that he's doing okay but yeah yeah, they came over for a drink.

I was like, if you don't, if you're stuck somewhere at dinner, mum and dad, they miss having kids around the house. They'd fucking love to have you out. And so James, I know you're not watching this live stream, but I'm making a mental note of it in front of those who are to remind me that you will go out for dinner. And because you've been introduced into the sphere of this happening through the podcast, I will expect a written report and review of the aforementioned dinner uh for distribution on a friend's own episode that is forthcoming do you think i gave us a

hundred dollars we shouldn't expect anything from him you should expect everything from him that's for you that's detail everyone i just saw the comment there the guy washed his hands no he didn't i rinsed them in the rain oh that's Detol everyone. I just saw the comment there, did the guy wash his hands? No he didn't. I rinsed them in the rain. Oh that's something, but now you're disinfecting. Do that. That's how you do it. You're being super serious now. I do side by side. Do you then do that on the other side? No, I put my hands in a land virginie.

Ben writes, and this is from a little while ago so I'm not sure if we got to this one one either But it says it's unread so I apologize if this is a double up. Show the ta- oh the tattoos I thought they said tacos. I didn't fully have trouble reading eh? Yeah, well you're quite thick too, which I think doesn't help matters. There is that There's a Scarface themed restaurant in Paris called Scarfood What the fuck this is not even like a pun What the fuck? That's not even like a pun. No, but it's just, it's good trivia.

And please keep that trivia coming through at TriviaPursuit.co.nz We've got a live stream there going where we have alternative versions of ourselves who host repetitive trivia themed podcasts. So keep that trivia coming through thick and fast. We do love all of that information. A VR episode of The Worst Idea. That would be so dope

we've been in discussions with um our friend steve newell who has he been on the podcast no no he runs a website called flicks.co.nz he's a movie reviewer and he's like preeminent movie website he loves movies um and he's trying to tee up for us to do a record of an episode inside a club that's active so like oh is he actually working on that well he would be yeah no no no it's more real life it just in real life that we record it with microphones in there or the powers or something I bet you bananas I've been I've been many told you about that I got a I've got an in for us to record an episode in my clubclub. In Auckland?

Yeah. Okay, beautiful. That's coming up. But how good would it be if we for that one brought like a 360 camera? So we were just holding it and people could like just fucking be us in this club recording an episode.

This is the thing. Yeah, I know. I haven't ordered the pizza because it's going to create a lull. I'm going to order it now actually. I am the cowboy, the Nobel Laureate of the West for those of you who are asking. You don't need to worry about that. I had a point I wanted to raise before we started

talking about recording in a club. What were we talking about? Steve Newell doing a I can't remember it'll come to me if anyone's got any questions as well about the podcast obviously you can

comment them in the YouTube there and we'll do what we can to get on top of it I'm ordering a pizza at the moment from Pizza Hut okay

I've got an email I'd like to read out which I don't think it was actually a Facebook message I don't think we've got to yet have you read anything from someone called Callum I don't think so

okay well this is from Callum excuse me I will withhold his last name until I know how he feels about it being used. Hey, hey, Gibbon Ty.

Oh, fuck. Hey, that's a good spoonerism. Fuck, that was meant to start the message, not be separate. Hey, hey, Gibbon Ty. Oh, there's two. Type correctly this time. Bit of a false start there. Use my name or any other name that suits.

I'm going to change it someday anyway. Family issues and all that, but I digress all right Callum McCray coming in so hot number one you're creating your own nicknames for both of us number two fucking up the initial email but then just playing here immediately with the second and repeating the same strong offer and then number three like kind of a little bit of pressure applied to the guilt trip panel I It was a bit of a meta-narrative. You incorporated a correction of a message you'd corrected in your actual message. It's chaos over here.

Anyway. Anyway. Beyond the plans to change your name because of family issues, you've written this. Wow. I don't know how you guys do it. I should have taken your advice when you said not to watch the films. It's taken me two weeks, but I finally managed one watch of Grown Ups 2. You've got to try harder, Callum.

That ain't shit. Not good enough. It was so painful. It's going to be such an extreme respect for you boys. I had to watch it in five-minute chunks because it pains me so much. Callum, did it not occur to you that turning a one-hour and 40-minute experience into something that lasts two weeks is a pretty surefire way of prolonging your sadness even now if someone said to me would

i rather watch this movie once in one sitting or once across two weeks i'm pretty sure you know what the answer would be across two weeks it'll be interesting uh just for variety yeah it's giving me such an extreme street five minute chunks i'd give you money if you're suffering, but I'm broke as fuck. Hashtag student life. Hopefully my appreciation can be shown simply through the bonds of eternal friendship and deep respect.

Can't wait for the year to be over for you two so you can finally be free of this burden. But until then, Kia kaha, boys. Kia fucking kaha. Kia kaha to you, Callum. Yeah. Fucking good on you, bro.

For our international listeners, that is te reo Māori for stay strong and I fucking love that yeah stuff it's hot shit how long is the stream gonna be eh that's the question just for you we only kicked off at 3 actually so it's only been 42 minutes we're gonna do oh we're friends too electric boogaloo I like that we've got a hundred and one people watching right now we need to deliver the Intel yeah we've got obviously you've always got to deliver the Intel we've got hot Intel you guys but only for a very specific amount of people in fact there might be like one person on the stream

who this applies to but do you remember the details I do remember details vividly cool ah I'm gonna order a pizza while you deliver this brain shattering announcement. To try and drum up some excitement, is there hot intel? By the way, for those of you who aren't currently wearing oven mitts, I would suggest you remedy that immediately, such as the temperature of this intel that we are removing from the collective oven of our minds and delivering to the hungry bellies of your brains. What I'm trying to tell you is that for those of you who are fortunate enough to be live

streaming this broadcast in San Francisco, California or Portland, Oregon which is also in America but a different state and in the entirely we are coming to do some goddamn live shows in your goddamn towns and it's happening I'm Nixon way too soon I'm Kennedy it is happening really soon Kennedy didn't fire guns we're going to be um doing the Portland Kennedy I'm having sex with a woman who's not my wife Portland Oregon is on the... I can tell you, I've got it in my head. Thank you. San Francisco is on Friday the 21st of October at 8pm at the Children's Creativity Museum.

We don't have a ticket link for you yet and we'll also post this information live on the Facebook page after the podcast. Yes. Portland, Oregon is on Saturday the 22nd of October at 9pm at the second oldest theatre in Portland called the Clinton Street Theatre the Clinton Street Theatre

here's the other thing for everyone who's decrying us not being in your city firstly apologies secondly that also apologies but that is because we have not just a personal problem with the entire city you live in but a personal problem with you specifically we are trying I can't commit to this but we're trying to

figure out at the end of the whole podcast to do some semblance of a global tour which hopefully will pay for itself or otherwise it's gonna be an expensive world trotting trip but we're dragging our dick all across the world absolutely red dragon the earth so it'll be we'll definitely go to europe if that happens and we'll try to hit like the biggest in the dream world we'd get to do a tour of our most download our download cities and ideally one of those for everyone would be close enough that anyone who wanted to come to the show conceivably could but then again like man it's hard to get into places.

So, unfortunately, we've got to go to some places that have more, you know, downloads coming from us. Flexible work visas. That too. No one tell immigration we're coming. Yeah, yeah. If anyone on the live stream is working for any sort of immigration body anywhere in the world please disregard everything

some of these jokes are riskier than others we'll see if this recorded video comes back to bite us in the ass at some stage is this recorded? it will be by who? by YouTube. They're god damn YouTube into it they've got so much footage to comb through that the likelihood of them getting to this before the trip is so low nah we're not going to North Korea on this tour I'm afraid I would love to though it'd be fucking fun it would be a very curious thing to do but we're really excited about it and the reason that we've been so emboldened to take this brave step is thanks to people like you who contribute anything to the

PayPal so we would like to extend contribute anything to the PayPal. So we would like to extend a heartfelt thanks. The idea that we can do it at all in the first instance is fucking ridiculous. So to actually try and make it happen and plan it out makes things even more exciting. I've been ordering this pizza hut for so long because I can't focus on it. What are you ordering?

A Veggie Supreme for you. I... okay. for so long because I can't focus on it. What are you ordering? A veggie supreme for you. Object reference not set to an instance of an object. Wow, the Pizza Hut website is freaking out. Oh, god damn. This is harder than it should be.

Why don't we just call them? Yeah, do that. And while you're doing that, I'll see if we've got any more messages. Um, YouTube are a bunch of fucking narcs, aren't they? Let us all hashtag kill the intern,

hashtag pay the boys. Uh, I'm just, I'm just going to scroll through and see if we missed any hot messages, any hot takes on here. A noble spirit and big ins the,

what, someone donated, yeah, Matt Garrett donated 75 bucks for kissing the cyst come to seattle fuck they're streaming too quickly oh my god fuck all right you guys are you killing me i'm gonna um pull up another message thanks again for for being here everyone i was going to read ben's message before and i didn't. And here it is. It's from 11 days ago. We'll see if I've already read this one out. I apologise in advance if I have. Hey Timbler Humongbus and Goo Goo Ga Ga Gigi Gombus.

That's me! You two are good boys. Nice boys. Considerate boys. And that last one was spelt boys like buoys, like in the ocean, had a U in it. I agree with the CEO of Cogs Unlimited. My name, permission granted, is Benjamin fucking Paul Donahue. That's spelt in true Sex and the City 2 style fashion. B-E-I-G-G-H-W-Z. Thank you for the many hours of TWIAT Entertainment. I think I've fucked up our own letters. I have donated twice now but I can't fucking find a comment section.

So I just... Oh, you poor fucker. Some people have struggled with that on PayPal. I don't think it's in a very obvious place. So it's like, people will give us money with the intention to, you know, flick us a little email or whatever. And then they're like, oh, fuck. Oh, I missed it.

I've confirmed the credit card payment and I haven't found the message. And then Benjamin did it again and still got fucked over. So good on you for finding the email address. So I decided to forego that route and just write you direct. You are my favorite podcast and that won't change. Thanks to Damus Javies, I assume that's his Spoonerism, who initially recommended you, Tim and Guy. He is also known as the visionary who invented the Tarot Tomale breakfast sandwich fusion.

Sounds like a futuristic, tamale based... He sounds like an emperor of space in the future who's rolling through sex, somehow. Like the sandwich does, or the per- or Dame's Jar-less. Dame's Jar-less, but it's tied in with the name of the sandwich because it's such a like powerful, futuristic, space age, sexy name that uh... Tarot is like uh... it's like the cards yeah card reading yeah yeah I'm pumped although this is a really good card is there got to us tarot because this is only got one hour I don't know but the keep soldiering on booze I will be sad and happy for you when the final season

concludes I hope to see you both in some capacity someday. Much love from Boston. Oh, Boston. Because a kiss is always a Patty Schwartz summertime blaze pizza prawn salad with a side of Zicoli pasta. This podcast is a gift, a true Christmas miracle. Thank you. And keep on indulging the fuckboy repertoire of players as they reprise their shitty Citizen Kane remake.

Oh, repertory, sorry. That guy is good at writing emails. And he's written more, short ones after it. He replied again going tater tomolet. Is that how you would say that word? Tater tomolet. Oh, tater tomolet. So that's

potatoes. What's a tomolet? Does anyone know? No. Oh, tomato omelette. How's Kate connecting and doing podcasts at the same time? A potato and tomato omelette. I don cake connecting and doing podcasts at the same time? A potato and tomato omelette. I don't understand the question. A tamarillo or tamelo. I think I was thinking the word tamarillo was like a fruit,

which makes quite a nice relish. So he spelled it with one R, which hopefully I'm being told in the comments by Matt West and Christopher Metzger. Taro with the cards has got one R, so he's talking about the cards I watch don't hug me I'm scared after guys recommendation shits off the fucking chain and in another email which says tights up but just let's get swimming

and that's all it says I would like to reiterate that shout out to anyone who hasn't watched it yet after this live stream go straight on the YouTube and look up don't hug Me I'm Scared. There's six episodes and they are fucking unstoppably hilarious. Also just quite unique. It's in a vein of Too Many Cooks but it kind of gets to the punch a little. It's a different, it's a similar, it's playing the same sport as Too Many Cooks. Yeah it is. Probably in the same sport as Too Many Cooks yeah it is

probably in the same league you've watched unedited footage of a beer eh yeah that Adopt Swim put out that's another goodie fuck man

I'll watch that again not that you guys are want for content if you've found the live stream of this niche podcast it's a pretty high chance that everything

you tell you to enjoy is already happening I found one of Benjamin Donahue's donations and it's 69 dollars fucking good gifts just keep on going with this guy really that is funny to me that what is funny first of all is that 69 is like it's a funny it's a funny number yeah and i think everyone's juvenile obsession with it is what makes it funny yeah but the fact that even now you know as you

age yeah I think I'll fuck the pizza I didn't know you're gonna call them oh yeah that's right we started talking okay bring him you're going to ring him yeah I really do and you what do you want I just I'm gonna call Domino's because they're real close pizza hats just over there okay it's one on just over there do it it on speaker so we're all involved in the party it's a pizza party 69 is the sex number well done they're on speaker i don't really want that much pizza get a get a little just get a vegetarian because we're gonna watch the movie after this in true uh friendzone style i'm getting punchy eggs i'm so hungry uh... friends and star fucking country acts as a hundred

stores press three press one but not just also has to come to that pretty it was a bit was a breeze isn't it one it

three and it's like that uh... five Press 3 for Key Street. Press 4 for Ellerslie. Press 5 for Gray Lynn. Press 6 for Mount Eden. What do you want? Oh, you're going to have to give the address as well, which I don't know if we should put that on the stream. It's too bad it's going to happen.

No. Well, how are you going to do it? Just roll out there. You're mobile. You're on a phone. You're on literally a mobile phone. Delivery, please. I'll give you are you good Tim what roll out there I will deliver a message. Sorry, one moment. One moment, please. Sorry.

I don't know who half you psychopaths are. Wasn't it impassioned? Docs and boys. To be honest, you'll be able to find a house real fucking easy anyway if you want to. Like, if you put your mind to it, it's no big deal. I don't know why I'm being so precious about it. Tegan Spencer writes to us. Oh, fuck.

I hope she's okay with me using her surname. Hi Timbo and Guybo I came across this video with some scattering in the middle. He's doing it right outside the door so you can probably hear their dress anyway. I came across this video with some scanning in the middle that reminded me of Geysertron's squee-bopping and I got nostalgic and thought you might want to hear it. Please skip to a minute 30 into here and please ignore all the naughty words I know there are no naughty words in the friend zone unless Alice is invited Alice Sneddon of bonus of the heart she did drop a few bombs didn't she also enjoy and also I bought it please enjoy and also I bought a t-shirt when I tracked it it said it was coming from California just Just double checking. I didn't somehow look at the wrong tracking number.

Just the meat lovers or whatever. And meat lovers. Yeah. Is the pizza room getting hot? That's all, thank you. Sure thing, I'll pay by credit card. Could the person who delivers it, if you can't decide of the house, we're in a studio.

We can all hear the pizza order. Tegan, I want to lay to rest and anyone else who is ordering food, sorry, clothes, God, I'm fucking hungover and exhausted and ready for pizza. If you're ordering any merch from us, which you can do at worstideafalltime.com, it does get delivered from California.

So there's a company that makes it and ships it out from there. So if it says it's coming from California, that is correctamundo. Have you got your wallet, or do you need it? Yep, so is it Visa? Oh yeah, it's a Visa. Shut the door, mate. Well, fucking hell. I mean, having my address out there is one thing,

but your credit card's another. You almost did hear Guy's credit card number, to be honest. Tegan finishes the message with, Friendship and love, and whatever name you want to give me is all G, boys. God, I'm so glad to hear that, because I accidentally dropped your entire name, Tegan. Oh, Tegan's here.

Butchered. Yeah, well, sorry about it. I don't know what to tell you. That's real cool that Tegan's on the livestream. He's just outside the door and it's so distracting making this pizza order. He could literally be anywhere in the world, but he's just right here. Fuck. Buy clothes if you want, it'll come from California, it'll get delivered to your door even if you're in New Zealand was the point I was trying to make and that's a rare occurrence when shit actually gets delivered here swimmingly so that's great. Someone from Russia wrote, do Russians respect the knife? Open to find out. Whoops, this sounds like a virus. 40!

Okay. Bye. 45 minutes? They're just around the corner. How hard's a pizza to make? We just did a terrible job of sticking it to fucking glaze, I'll tell you that. Why? We just highlighted the competition's deficiencies I do live on here hey the place deliver nah fuck that's so weird

so I don't deliver yeah but they're not pizza yeah but pizza blaze our subway you know it's yeah that's true it's so weird it takes five minutes to order a pizza and it takes god knows how long for them to make and deliver it. Hi again guys, uh, Dineshkina Maria here, again. I feel like I've walked out and counted on you reading the back end of like a diary. I got sad my message was cut off. I wanted to get back to you about Russians and knives question because I'm Russian. I think knives are okay. Anyway, thanks for working so hard on the podcast. I think knives are okay.

Cool. That's good. Now we know from Russia. Just wanted to be on the record with my pro knife opinion. That's good. That's good to hear. Do you want a beer, bro? Oh, I'm so desperate for a beer.

I didn't quite figure out how I could do it while like... Thank you. It's so good. This goes out to all of y'all. Look at us! Okay, we're getting some live messages coming in now. James

has found the email address and says you can read this live if it comes up. Timbo, Flash, you two are absolute gents. You two wonderful boys have done such an amazing job. I'm currently watching the live friendzone stream. We're all in it bro, right now. Having started at the beginning with guys full hour of the

technical difficulty periscope stream and it is just such a treat to see you two after so many hours of listening. Surprisingly, it is incredibly intimate to be here with you two and only like a hundred other people but being in the friendzone and a live one at that I reckon it's appropriate eh i wish you both the best the absolute best and may you both live forever just like brady the rat king good luck and best wishes from nashville tennessee

jp thank you so much tennessee i don't know where that is how do you do but it sounds pretty close to oregon my friend. Tennessee's in the south, isn't it? Yeah. It's one of them southern states. Same country, baby. The Titans are struggling this year. I've got to say, Marcus Mariota,

he's going through what would be described as the sophomore slump. That is to say, he's had a lot of promises as a freshman, but instead of following through on that, what's going on happening is the defenses have learned how to scheme to play against his talents. And I mean, the whole Titans offense is really struggling. I used to own DeMarco Murray in fantasy two years ago when he exploded for the Cowboys. And boy oh boy has he bounced around since then. Are there any football fans?

Brian Shepard just bought a shirt or something. Yeah, a shirt. That's great. Oh, also, I want to... Oh, fucking hell yeah. Matt Garrett really did give us 75 US dollars for kissing the arm assist. God bless you. Thanks, Matt Garrett. Such a weird amount of money. In some ways, Martin Gopter was a god.

Marty's a good dude. He is a good dude. The four-footed sloth. Fuck. The Blackcaps are starting to stay tuned in to you right now. I gotta say I love Guppy, he's great in the field, he's good for the one days, but you put him in the test team, he is struggling. Look at his average alright, the guy has no game, it's time to move on. He's a great one day player, great in T20s, he's not our test opener.

Tom Latham, I believe in. Guppy's a lovely dude though, I've met him a couple of times because I used to work with his wife. And Guy went to school with her order from Christchurch. Sure. We ended up in a musical Interpretation of the the book Dracula together you guys pash day. Yeah, we were love interests I think I asked you might as I see this guy good kisser and her answer was either no or I can't remember I'm not sure which but I was a positive the those are both valid so fuck yeah Matt didn't even leave a message they just gave us the money he doesn't this is yeah but this message is it's weird it's processed it differently to the other donations I

don't know how you doing it it's very strange Leland Osborne has emailed us saying I don't think the hand over so of us in the friendzone are going to rip you off, but if this is going to be a video on demand on YouTube, you're really going to want to cut that audio of that pizza order. Thank you Leland, there's probably credit card numbers in there I'm guessing. But that's quite, if you get scammed now, sort of your fault for being so fucking close to the door.

I don't disagree that, if any of you guys... And you know you're a projector as well. Here it is, here it is. If any of you guys know you're a projector as well you know it is here it is if any of you guys do it i'll be disappointed but also fair enough because i did totally volunteer the information in the moment uh if anyone else does it after this i'll be gutted i don't mind you guys taking from me yeah because if it's happening live that is kind of it's like obviously no one wants to get their credit card i don't want like don't grow I'm not condoning credit card fraud I'd be gutted but I mean all if you're that quick yeah and I am that

dumb all power to you please don't 2500 miles off the New Zealand coast lies a spacecraft cemetery we 161 defunct satellites and shuttles have crash-landed and sunk, Uberfax, which is also the distance from Tennessee to Oregon. Coincidence? Probably not. Credit card number 69. I like the strange specificness of that and to you April I would say as soon as there's a live event happening on the spacecraft cemetery I'll commute the 2,500 miles that is necessary to get there to enjoy it. But as it stands...

I've got to read an email. Sorry. No, no, you go. Matt Garrett, $75 big ball donator, Matt Garrett, has just sent us an email live as well saying, Watching the live stream, I am the American legend, Matt Garrett. Love you boys. your podcast brings me joy daily I work for a law firm

wherein I basically get paid to know the alphabet brackets filing and listen to you two all day big fan come to Seattle fucking aren't those in some some ways the best jobs where you can find something

so stupid send your credit card number live online it's the worst idea of all time, not wrong I'm nervous about the credit card thing it's added real stakes to this episode in the live stream because I think people can go bang with it will it show up in my bank account already? do you know what the irony is?

is that the guy the pizza guy was like your credit card declined do you know what the irony is is that the guy the actually no it should be sweet the pizza guy was like ah your credit card declined really yes I'm paying in cash but the irony is I yelled out my credit card number into the internet yeah before it didn't work on the actual phone call I was trying to make so hold on it shouldn't have declined why did it decline did he have a reason maybe I gave him maybe I gave wrong information god you can only hope this is if you did that would be akin to what happened today where you know I was going to miss the flight and the only

reason I caught it to be able to be here with some semblance of being on time was because the flight got delayed okay it was very quiet so I'm going to have to wait until it's over and study it over and over you guys are in the friend zone that's a trust nest that's a risk I'm willing to take anyway look there's one final destination

I want to go to and then maybe we look at wrapping this thing up because we're going to dive into a watch after this you're so right James Cowden I am going to be so mad if I don't get that pizza in my tum tum, I'm like running

on fumes, eh? Good God. Christopher Mezka, I don't need any funds at all, I appreciate the offer but a lot of this has been sort of an inflated celebration of people like you Chris who have already decided to support the troops. Hashtag pay the boys.

We haven't really resolved the Blaze Pizza thing. And for those of you who missed the start of this broadcast and are joining us now, we don't really have a strategy yet. We're hoping on this next trip to America we can at least get in front of some people. I want to fucking kick a dick. My ideal situation is you and I head to toe in Blaze merch. And even if that comes to us printing our own, that's totally fucked.

You know what we should do? Print Blaze pizza merch and sell it? And just sell it on our store. It's so aggressively illegal. It will get their attention, though. It will get their attention. And we'll say we'll call it even. We'll say, okay, so now you know how it feels

when you trade on our brand yeah without our permission even though we are giving them permission by doing it in the first place what if we change the z to an s but we make the s look real fucking similar to a z would that work if we leave as an s then we're launching a product called blase pizza shit it's interesting we'll put a a pin in that for now

but I reckon we'll look into that anyway what I was going to say to you is our plans for Blaze Pizza at the moment are all we can do

don't use the hashtag anymore don't use hashtag how do you Blaze use hashtag pay the boys there's boys spelled in the traditional oh no use both

because they'll be searching oh yeah if you've got fit but prioritise our one yeah and uh yeah

make let them know and if you've got any ideas on how we can crack this nut like let us know as well because we don't know it's cruel I know that statistically

it's unlikely but it is a cruel twist of fate that no one from Blaze Peach was the worst idea of all time fan Kirk has come up with a great idea you should let us design it make it a hashtag Blaze contest was the worst idea of all time fan. Kirk has come up with a great idea. You should let us design it. Make it a hashtag Blaze contest.

The one thing that I'm going to speak on both of our behalves, Guy and I cannot do is art. I'm great at art. Are you though? I do some of the best art. You know, people, they say, they come to me and they say, Guy, you do some of the great, and I'm going to take art and I'm going to make it even better.

I do the biggest art. there's no one who does bigger art than me. That's very good, if you got the voice down, that would be perfect you've nailed the lexicon you've nailed it. I have no idea what you're talking about um if you guys can do art do art, give it to us, we'll sell

it, we'll give you part of the money that's the deal, that's how this works we're all in this together, someone on on the... Hey Mark Beebe by the way, respect you're out delivering Domino's pizza right now. I wish you were a pizza guy too. We'll get you in for a beer and a slice buddy. Christopher said I can tell by your fucking podcast cover art that we're not artists. Well yeah I'm not you know yes correct. There's a reason for that it's bad it's familiarity brings comfort now 13 days ago on the wtwioat subreddit someone wrote another shroom episode

please prawn salad was fucking hilarious easily my favorite what I will say to you beat down snitches is this we were not on shrooms for that episode let's call our fans beat down snitches no that was the username um although that's a real random thing to throw out uh there's a lot of commentary or there's some commentary on that post where people were trying to figure out what the circumstances were and i'm just gonna let you guys dwell on that. Ten minutes ago, this was posted. What US cities do people live in?

According to Tim and Guy in the most recent episode of The Friend Zone, the live one. Oh my God, I'm reading something that's actually happening now. They want to do a world tour after season three and go to cities that the show is downloaded most in. I'm curious as to where the listeners might be located in the hope to be able to see the boys live someday. Well, Jacob Burns 99, first of all, tell me where you are.

Oh, he did. Later. Tim and Guy read a message that I wrote to them. This is like six minutes ago, and the last one was ten minutes ago. This is all getting very freaky. Tim and Guy read a message I wrote to them in episode 18 or 19 of the Friend Zone, I think. Perhaps it was earlier than that. Either way, I'm from Maine. And actually, I live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Pennsylvania. Oh, I was from Maine then. I get it. We probably won't go to Pittsburgh. Sorry. I don't know. Rude. Look.

Will we? Yeah, I don't know. My thing is, and this might be a bad entitled boy saying his thing, but if we are travelling from New Zealand and you're close and you are curious, we would love to go to every city but we can't. So if we're close, I wouldn't roll the dice and hope we make it to the actual city. But if you guys are enjoying this, we can hopefully crack how to do a little bit more of this. So we'll do that. Pittsburgh is, this so we'll do that Pittsburgh is I'm sorry I disparage Pittsburgh I regret it instantly I've never been I've never been either and it's probably great people have such a sense of pride about

their cities do you mind if people don't like your city well because I was kind of born in one and then grew up in another and now live in a third I've sort of I think I've got least allegiance yeah most people do you're in a similar situation i really don't mind at all like fair enough yeah they can't not everything's for everyone i'm not in love with auckland either in terms of the central city oh the central city is a disaster yeah it's not it's a good place if you're on that fringes though it's good blaze pizza origin story three hours ago this was posted on the twi oat subreddit can anyone remind me of the origin of the boys effort to get sponsored by blaze pizza i know it's from the beginning of season one however it's been a while since i listened to the og season many thanks it will be

i can't remember it will be uh it's like will be the same time maybe a week after we started patty schwartz party time because pat Patty Schwartz is literally the reason we sent out a big slice of pizza From this is a brief story, but from the beginning We started, apologies for burping, we started watching The movie we noticed Patty Schwartz acting abilities immediately and really gravitated towards him quite quickly Not knowing who it was. You became obsessed with him, started following him across all social media. So we didn't know who, we were obsessed with someone who wasn't,

who we didn't think was doing a very good job some weeks. Yeah. Don Corey, I think, was like, you know that's Arnie's son. Right, okay. So that will be close to the origins of Paddy Schwartz when Don Corey gets it on season one. And then Guy started following him on Twitter

and Instagram and everything. And then he was like tweeting and Instagramming all the time about this Blaze pizza. So guy got on board and if I gets on board Timbo gets on board so we're both on board and then the show was on board and then suddenly we were sponsored by blaze pizza extensively and and that's how it happened yeah and they we've never got a dime out of them or any acknowledgement that they respect what we've done for them I and now LeBron James is one of the like pretty big boys me on Twitter by the way why the bra I say there is a quite to the get that would be crazy listen to episode 16 what these are

very good very good ice creams there soft serve from the episode soft serve their frames from the movie I'm not gonna going to, oh no, I will actually. Why not? It's a visual medium, so finally, like this, I can do stuff like this. This is what someone posted in the subreddit as well. Can I do that? Isn't that lovely? Isn't that nice?

Good stuff, good stuff. Look, that's probably about us. Do you reckon, Guy? Yeah, I reckon. Guy, do you remember going to the Boogie Rascals launch gig? I met you there briefly and you were very inebriated. I'll tell you right now, no. If you say something else to help trigger my memory, I will.

Because it sounds familiar. The Boogie Rascals launch gig. Do you know what that is? Oh, yes. Yeah. It was my friend Josh Clark's band. It was at the mansion, my friend's house that they live in.

Oh, man. I've heard some pretty incredible stories about shit that goes down in your house. That was a wild night. It's a wild house. I don't remember meeting you specifically, Dav3476, but I remember the night,

so I hope we get to meet again. I'm going to check my Twitter to see if any questions came through on there everyone's listening where they're from Jack Smith you meet me on a train in Melbourne I appreciate that oh fuck I think I'll be mean to say and I can't remember the guy's name but I had the craziest coincidence the other day I was in Sydney Australia and I was really hungover and I went to Manly Beach which is like a ferry ride out of the city center it's quite a nice suburb and I was so devastatingly hungover I was walking around and there was this really young friendly looking kid in front of a skate shop who was

mucking around on a skateboard trying to do some sort of kickflip or probably something more difficult because he was very good anyway I went in and started looking around being like that looks much more efficient than walking and I was looking at a longboard and the same guy the friendly looking guy was outside came up to me he's like hey I'm sorry are you a guy and I said yes and he said oh no way I'm a fan of your podcast, and you and Tim wrote me a postcard. And I said, you've got to be taking the fucking piss. Tim and I have never written a postcard together, on account of Tim doesn't like the idea of all those nosy post people

poking their nose in his goddamn business. It's true, I'm off the post grid. But he continued, and he said, no, no, you're in New York, and my sister and her boyfriend, or my brother and his girlfriend, I think it was sister and boyfriend said, no, no, you're in New York and my sister and her boyfriend or my brother and his girlfriend, I think it was sister and boyfriend, were in a bar and they heard your voices and were like, holy shit, my brother put us onto you, we're big fans, could you write? And they had a postcard they paid for and they wrote his address on it and gave it to us

and we just wrote it and dropped it in a mailbox. And lo and fucking behold, this guy, who was like one drunken night in New York on the receiving end of a postcard. So good. Just by chance. So good. He was like the guy who was like, and he was so nice,

and he gave me like a staff discount, which was so generous. It was like 10 bucks. Fuck, it was cool. Loved all that LBJ yeah I really regret saying that I don't regret saying it I regret that it's not true

Mike Roman asked an hour ago on Twitter he's probably not even in the live stream that's ok which is evident by where he's up to

because his question is I'm happily on episode 49 and 52 on Grown Ups 2 He's probably not even in the live stream. That's okay. Which is evidented by where he's up to. Because his question is, I'm happily on episode 49 and 52 on Grown Ups 2. Where are the last three? Yeah, he's out. Here's what happened there. We sold the first season to Howl. So they've got it now. So to get the first season, you go to howl.fm and you can get a free trial, especially for

three episodes this will be easy to do. Because I think if you put the, fuck I'm not quite sure how the referral code works, but put in worst because that helps us and I think it gives you a free month. So you could cane definitely three episodes. What if you wanted to work hard, if you're skint and you really wanted to get through that content yeah you could pull that off too um anything's possible so that's what happened to that uh and we're delighted to be on how to be honest we're fucking flattered um do you and guy have any idea for future podcast project after season three ends a good question a fair question and yeah we're always

coming up with ideas we have a lot of ideas what we are lacking presently is follow through but rest assured it's not the end of old spindly guy bow and thick boned Tim face also to answer the question

there is going to be a season 3 of Fail Army unbelievable as that may seem to anyone who's watched the show. I think it'll come out next year. We're not going to tell you how much Hal paid us because that's... I mean I'm bad at business but even I know that's uncouth. I can't remember if that's part of the contract but it felt fair at the time did I can ever share the brownies I cannot remember if I hot an answer it's from our mate who goes to our gigs in Wellington I'll see I think right yeah she's the one who made this she made the

she's the this my rat who made the rats and the the blazer covered in semen and rats sub LC she gave me some brownie on Last Saturday night. She came to a comedy show I'm going to. Shout out for the brownie. It's delicious. What does this mean? Jacques Pippin saying butter is number one guy Number two is guy saying sweaty. Oh, right. Better say it or give me that money back This is the person who sent the email. but do you know who Jacques but as probably French person saying but but the but the jack fucking good on you Amanda for being part of the journey life that's awesome yes good good good good okay

okay look we're rounding off any last questions come through there that are real pressing cause dude oh my god we've timed this so perfectly. In New Zealand, we are about 60 seconds away from it being 4.20. Okay. Which is when you kick off a podcast. Yeah, that's right. What happens is we're 69 for 40 minutes, and we start the podcast clean at 5 p.m.

So, everyone, thank you so much for joining us on the live stream. We are going to release the ticketing information for the live shows in San Francisco on Friday October 21 and Portland on October 22 it's a Saturday fuck if you're close it would be so cool

if you came if you don't but you've got friends that live there tell them to come because we are every time we go overseas to do a live show we put our money forward and we're like well we'll hopefully earn this back and then whether or not we do depends on how well the shows perform and announcing it three weeks before the event oh guys i cannot stress this enough we need you to come if you're in the cities we've not made the ticket prices outlandish they're 20 bucks bucks, right? 20 bucks. 20 dollars. But like, if possible, can you please bring a mate?

Because, yeah, we... It's fine. Like, it'll be fine. Old Timbo's not doing great. So, we just need this to be a cost-neutral trip, if possible. That would be very good. Uh, and... It's not an unfa- It's not an unreasonable goal, I've always thought. As a comedian, my goal was always to be cost neutral at least.

Bro, that's all I'm out to do, eh? Because we have fun lives. We do fun shit. So if we can just keep it cost neutral, that's gravy, man. And part of that cost neutrality has been like, you know what? Saturday afternoon, we're going to broadcast to the world. I hope that we have enough money to drink as many beers as we want to do.

I can feel the beers setting in, too. In a few seconds before we hit 420, Matt writes, I hope that we have enough money to drink as many beers as we want to do. I can feel the beers setting in too. In a few seconds before we hit 420, Matt writes, this podcast was started by one of you to become better friends with the other. Can't remember which. How do you feel that's gone? Me trying to be friends with Tim. I'll tell you now, we are bound together.

We really are. I'd say mission success. All right, everyone. That seems like a gorgeous note to end on so thank you very much for being a part of this you're wonderful yeah if you want to support

the boys financially you can at worstideaofalltime.com and I'll update as soon as possible so we're doing San Francisco

show October 21 Friday October 21 San Fran it's a podcast and also a Splitville stand up show Portland the same deal absolutely ok cool sweet yep Paul and the same deal

Saturday night so we won't be screening the movie it's too hard to figure out the copyright and shit so just don't watch the movie we'll do it for you we'll see you at the shows if you're in Portland or San Fran if you're not we're doing another tour later if you're in one of the biggest cities hopefully we'll hit you but either way we love you thank you for tuning in if you're in one of the biggest cities hopefully we'll hit you but either way we love you thank you for tuning in if you're live if you're listening to this later thanks either way and um

we I don't know we'll do another one of these if people like it we'll see okay lots of love a kiss a kiss for everybody on each step with Peloton from their pop runs to walk and talks Thank you. or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.