The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Two

Episode Date: February 14, 2016

Guy and Tim are back in The Friendzone, enjoying some lovely music (courtesy of Mild 7 via Lotus Pool Records) and diving into some listener support, chatter from sub Reddit (r/TWIOAT). Intergallatic Gloryhole appears in the stars, Tim cannot remember Guy AND MORE SANDWICH JOKE EXPLAINATION! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yes, Frenzone. It's time to jump into the zone where you go when you just want to catch up with your friends. Can't really make out the lyrics, but it sounds happy, eh? No idea what this guy's talking about. Sounds friendly as. Hello, welcome along to the second mini episode in which we air our dirty laundry. My name's Tim Batt. My name is Guy Montgomery.

We have not just watched Sex and the City 2. It's Valentine's Day when we're recording this. We thought, who better to spend the day with than our best friend, our partner in crime. Our yin to our own yang. That's you.

Am I the yin or yang? No, not you, Tim. That's you. Oh, the audience, yes. The person listening to this. You, listening out there. You, listening out there. You, listening out there. Bending over to do up your shoelace.

There's one thing I'll never get over, is describing very vividly something that someone might be doing, and the idea that... Oh, just freaking them out. The idea that it times out perfectly. You, sitting in that Starbucks right now. Because you've just ordered you're hoping that maybe this time they'll nail

the spelling of your name on the cup hot tip they will not I mean your name's Dan it seems insane that they keep getting it wrong there are only four other vowels to choose from yet every fucking time Dan we got a tall macchiato for Dan

what the fuck It's Dan With an A Anyway This is the time In the week In which we Say thank you

To donators We address Any queries Or questions That people might have That we don't have time To get to On the regular podcast

Now Tim would you like To kick things off I'd just like to say hi Okay What are we listening to on the regular podcast now tim would you like to kick things off i'd just like to say hi okay what are we listening to by the way uh so this is another contribution from lotus pool records who just let us basically dive into their collection dig out some eps and fang them on our little thingy so this is uh this is a band called mild seven 7. Mild 7. What do you think of that as a band name? Self-titled EP. Not crazy about the name, but I like the vibe.

Mild 7. I really like the vibe. Very lo-fi, very acoustic, very unplugged. It's quite nice. They're just having a goof around. It's a little bit Velvet Underground-y to me with that string. I can kind of see or hear a Velvet Underground-y to me with that string, you know. I can kind of see a Velvet or hear a Velvet Underground undertone. Anyhow, we're not here to wank on about music.

We're here to wank on about you guys. A favourite thing to wank on about. So listen, first person I want to say thanks to is Jun Liu. I think, if your last name is L-I-U, do you say that Lu? Lu. Lucy Lu. I met Lucy Lawlessy today. Yeah, I was there. It's good.

Isn't she a nice person? She was lovely. Do you know what you've been doing a lot of lately is telling me about an experience you've had that I was literally right there with you for? Yeah, I've done it twice today. But who cares? Do you think that we've spent so much time together now

that when we do some things, I'm invisible to you? Yeah, definitely. It's like you don't really have any perspective on whether or not I'm actually there? Yeah, you've just achieved neutrality. That's pretty good. It's not bad from you. Jun has said,

having only seen Sex and the City 2 one time in the theatres, I can only imagine a fraction of your suffering, but I appreciate it every week. Back in the day, my mates and I thought it would be funny to see the film because Hoyts was giving away free samples of Sarah Jessica Bogus fragrance, SJP NYC at the time. We ended up receiving one tiny bottle between four people, and it was apparently the last one left.

Now, because of the podcast, I think I'm ready to let it go. Thank you, Timbo and Guy Guy. Love from the sunny, windy, rainy Christchurch. A New Zealand listener for once. And I couldn't help but notice that Jun you used guy guy as a sort of term of endearment I don't really like to respond to

guy guy, just guy is fine Kieran McCusker said, Tim and Guy I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to this but sitting here on the one year anniversary, wait have I read this one last time? Can't remember. Can you remember? Nah this one last time? Can't remember. Can you remember?

No, this one-year anniversary thing sounds new to me. Discovered the podcast wearing my Patty Schwartz tee and supping a karma cola, which I found today in a small deli and not the supermarket. So I spent ages scouring. Oh, this guy's intense. He's hardcore. Good God. I knew I finally had to float you guys some well-earned bucks.

The stars have aligned, and they look like some strange kind of intergalactic glory hole. Weird. Great reference. Anyway, the podcast has been one of the few constants over a pretty challenging year, and from a selfish listener's point of view who hasn't had to watch Sex and the City 252 times,

it's sad to know that the end is nigh, especially as I'll still have several big weeks of my last semester at university after you put a pin in it once and for all. Prawn salad on repeat? It is then. Anyway, in fear of my rambling, my endless thanks for your dedication to this madness.

I hope the donation serves as a small token of my appreciation. Karen, of course it does. You're from Glasgow, Scotland. Good on you, bro. Glasgow. Glasgow. Glasswegian.

Glasswegian accent is the strangest thing on God's green earth. A glasswegian. What's a wegian? A wegian's like a Ouija board but smaller, so it's got like a keychain hole on it. A glasswegian. It's a glass version of that. Strange people. Yeah. Strange people.

Yeah. Strange people making strange things. Carol, I never know how to say no, but she gave us more money. And this is, I should learn, eh?

Almost definitely. She just had a short one. Just listen to the last episode, 49, kind of worried about you guys. Stay strong from Carol. Carol,

keep coming back. There's others, but you jump on in here, Guy. Well, these aren't from donations, but this has been a prominent through line in my relationship with Sex and City 2, is the sand wedge joke. A real bone of contention. This has really taken several turns.

Over the last week, we've had two separate submissions for um theories on you know explaining the joke and it is honestly ridiculous that i still it still doesn't make any sense to me uh so joshua green says hi guys i've got an idea about the sandwich joke it's a bit tenuous but the only thing i can think of is that MKP would know this but it's an idea I really like that you spelled it as MKP by the way thank you very much for the podcast Josh

Josh I like how you're really for the podcast josh uh josh i like how like you're really plumbing the depths of possibility with that theory i think it's unlikely but i mean the more theories the merrier i guess i'll bloody i'll i'll walk to the ends of the earth to try and find out the origin story of this joke and at least we've added another word in the lexicon for female genitalia along with becky with Becky Lucas's contribution of mut, which is a popular Australian turn of phrase. You love bloody grouse Australian slang. I really do.

It's so funny to me. It's just so... What's a good word? You know, like the opposite of refined. Bass. So bass. So raw. Yeah. Unfettered. that's a good word you know like the opposite of refined base so base so raw yeah

unfettered and also another one from Nathan Shaw oh my fucking god I keep hearing about the sandwich joke okay

so she has a camel toe now imagine what that also looks like if you were to compare it to a sandwich there are three jokes running at the same time one

sand which sand between two slices of bread to sand wedge, as in she fell in the sand and has a wedgie three, both combined making a wedgie with sand and being over clever to call it a sandwich. That's why it doesn't work. Cause they're trying to make a joke of the joke.

I didn't even follow that. Do you know what's so hard with this music playing? Just trying to keep all the bits and pieces in my head. It's really thrown me. I don't even follow that do you know what's so hard with this music playing just trying to keep all the bits and pieces in my head it's really throwing me in retrospect I don't know if this was the best idea it's real full on I think it's going to end soon because it's only got a few

this is the last track on the EP I say we write it out yeah absolutely so thanks for those theories if you've got one please keep them coming flick them on through there's a couple of people who found my email address I can't find your emails off here right now

I'm sorry about that if you do send us a message and we like don't send one back to you apologies you are in the minority because we do try to answer everyone who

flicks us something but like just at the moment because we're trying to plan the LA and the New York City trips we're just a little under the pump

so sorry if it takes a while for us to get back to you. Yeah, we are honestly doing our best. And we're also pretty much at capacity in terms of how good our best is now. We've sort of almost maybe arrived at the ceiling. Now, I want to share some stuff with you, Guy, from the subreddit, the TWIOAT subreddit, because I fucking love these guys so much. They come up with the best stuff. So someone's got, they've just submitted a post saying,

the title is, Difficulty Understanding Tim's Behavior. And the description is, Guy asked him, what do you think about me? And the response was not, you're a real piece of shit Guy Montgomery And what ensues is a conversation Between the participants

On what's going on with Tim And being worried that I've lost my marbles Because I really let a good opportunity A real piece of shit Slide on the podcast Which is great Someone's also Just recently in the last day Chucked up the official drinking rules Slide on the podcast, which is great. Someone's also just recently in the last day chucked up the official drinking rules for grownups too, which is great.

We need to make a poster for the Sex and City 2 ones actually. There's some stuff I want to add to the merch store if I get around to it. A lot of things on the boil. We were recently on a podcast called the prosumer podcast which you can check out that's just come out online

and we've just recorded one for one called the idea podcast which will be out at some stage soon but like

screw our one those guys are great I was flicking around a few episodes and yeah just got off the blow

with them now and they're real cool Erin Amara very funny ladies you should check that out. And I don't know, man.

I think that'll do it for that kind of stuff. Also, on the subreddit, someone's linked to your Melbourne Comedy Festival poster, which is, ladies and gentlemen, I don't sing Guy Montgomery's praises often, because as we all know, that guy's a real piece of shit. But this poster is absolutely sublime i'll post it on the maybe i'll post it on the uh worst idea page yeah do that it's like it's truly next level i won't describe anything about it you just get a seat for yourself but except to say it is a visual feast truly it is um so the things we've got coming up we've got uh

we're coming to America. Yeah. It's happening in five days. We're going to come to Los Angeles. And while we're in Los Angeles, we will be a part of an event that we're running in conjunction with Ben's... WorkJuice. Ben's Acker and Blacker. Yeah, which is a nice coincidence. The WorkJuice players are going to be helping us out with the thing.

So we, at the end of season one, you might remember, we probably definitely talked about it in the podcast, in the midst of one of the most intense fever dreams I've had and probably longest consecutive amount of hours spent with Tim I've had, we remembered the Grown Ups 2 script as best we could and wrote it down with direction. And we did a live tabloid of that with uh friends who are some comedians and actors here to help us get to la in the first place uh ben's

akron blacker said why don't we dust that off with our players your script do it as a live show in la and lo and behold that's exactly what we're doing. We're going back to the Sinner family. It's happening on Tuesday, the 23rd of February, I believe at 9pm is the kickoff time. And it's an all-star cast. We haven't released the cast yet, but it's going to be... It's kind of like to be confirmed a little bit

because we're still checking on some people. It's all kind of evolved pretty quickly, so we're pushing it all together and as far as i'm aware tickets are still available uh so if you're interested in that sort of event get on board go to go to the cine family website um which is just c-i-n-e family yeah um google google around for that and of course the biggie the big ticket the big ticket item big kahuna uh new york city that's right we've recently had an upgrade in venue we're going to be at the bell house now Biggie, the big ticket, the big ticket item. The big kahuna. It's New York City, March 3rd. We've recently had an upgrade in venue.

We're going to be at the Bell House now so we can fit a few more people in because we ran out of room on Union Hall. So that's good. We're going to be recording the final episode of the podcast and also doing a Q&A. A stand-up and some Q&A. I'm in two minds about the stand-up thing.

It'll be so fun. It'll be great. I feel it's a little self-indulgent because we've just got this captive audience and we need to brush up ahead of some comedy festivals, but fuck it. People like you, Tim, and you need to come to terms with that.

I will never. I will never ever come to terms with that. I don't like you one jot. I know, but I'm very okay with that. You're a slippery fish. Packed the gills with fecal matter. Yikes. I've got no time for you.

That's disgusting. But goddammit if I don't respect you. Good on you, mate. I reckon that's it. Do you? Yep. Do you? I think so, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Very well, then. Catch you soon for another exciting episode of The Worst Idea of All Time, where Guy and I watch Sex and the City 2 for the 50th time.