The Worst Idea Of All Time - Good Times: 11

Episode Date: October 26, 2024

The Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady of podcasting take to the conversational highway in this week’s episode of Good Times, learning a little bit about Michelle Pfeiffer and a lot about life. Guy is curious about his own lack of curiosity towards the world. Tim pitches a Worst Idea season surrounding the 1982 film Grease 2: More Grease. Appropriately, a new guest arrives to impart some homespun wisdom on the boys as they roam around looking for wisdom or enlightenment or something (we’re not actually sure, Tim could only listen to the audiobook sample)Our intro music, “Los Angeles,” courtesy of Eyeliner.Get episodes early and in video on our Substack! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Céline Dion happen again? I'm Thomas LeBlanc, and Céline Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I pieced together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com The Howdy, partner! You're tuned in to Good Times. Howdy guy! With Tim and Woody. Never gets old. I just caught myself doing this with my shoulders in the camera because we've got monitors here where we can see ourselves and it reminded me of that Short that trailer for that new adult swim

Yeah, is it common side? Look? Oh, no, that's the common side effects I think it's name it I just remember it first look because that's what I had to remember when I wanted to look it up Again, it's it looks so good. So good There's a scene where these two cops are doing a little shoulder shuffle to Harry Belafonte in it. Yeah. Tell you what, there's some exciting, there's some shows I'm excited about. Yeah.

Might, might've come out at the time of release. This is, we're recording this slightly before when it's coming out. Eagland is the other one. This isn't live. Eagland. Tell me about it. I don't know anything. Um, Conor O'Malley and a bunch of other people wrote this psycho. The pilot came out. Yeah, yeah. It's an adult swim thing. Yeah. And it's like, uh, computer animated, so depressing, so uniquely comedically depressing, just like a real picture of modern day suburban America,

focused around this old retired couple. And it is like so funny. It's your shit. Yeah, that is brutal. I'm looking forward to watching Peep Show again. Good on you, mate. Good on you. Good on you. I'm looking forward to watching Peep Show and listening back to Alan Partridge's podcast.

You're reading any good books at the moment, Guy? I... Actually, at the moment, I'm not going to say the book, but I'm reading a book. And this isn't like me, that I'm not especially enjoying it. Oh, okay. That's fine. Because I'm reading it and I'm reading it on an e-reader and I can see I've knocked off 70%.

But... And this goes against everything I stand for when it comes to reading. reading it and I'm reading on an e-reader and I can see I've knocked off 70% but and this goes against everything I stand for when it comes to reading. It's an effort to pick up the book. Fiction, non-fiction? Fiction. Modern? Modern, fiction, in the sort of who done it genre which usually is a very easy portal to scratching an itch I like, you know, when I'm whiling away some hours,

but it's just not hitting it. And but prior to that, I think, oh, I read, here he is. Stay tuned to Franky Boyle, fantastic stand up comedians book, Meantime. Is it political? It is, it's satirical. And it's got some unbelievably funny lines in it. Honestly, I worry I've already said that. Got a dog on my lap right now. Rufus is joining us in the studio. Just hold on a little bit higher so he's in the camera shot. So if you're on Substack, twiowat.substack.com, paying $5 a month, you can see this beautiful sub. dot sub step dot com paying five dollars a month you can see this beautiful I saw Rufus sort of stack it's not quite right but stumble in a sort of slightly

uncle way which I sort of taken by because I'm not used to seeing animals Bianco he's carrying a little bit of winter white this guy he's a little bit heavier than normal and he's a chunky boy at the best of times are we Rufus Rufus is a five-year-old mini schnauzer Jack Russell cross and the thing about him that makes him Rufus is that he has the legs of a Jack Russell and the body On top of those tiny little legs is that of a larger dog that the mini schnauzer He's a sweet guy once you get to him, once you're in the house, when you arrive at the house.

He hates guy arriving. When you arrive at the house, you think, I don't want to bar of it. It's cause you're tall and you refuse to be lower. That is totally untrue. I literally get down on my knees every time I come into your house. I actually never see it.

I'm never there in time. I bow down, I offer my hand, it's licked. There's some under the mouth sort of Chin scratching. Chin scratching and rubs. And then it doesn't matter how long I do it for. Could do 30 seconds of bonding. I stand up and it's like I've never done anything.

It's like he's never seen me before. But it's a pleasure to have him here and you. And look, I think obviously- It is a pleasure, man. We got, we got, well, not waylaid is not a fair way of putting it because we had a great time on the last episode catching up with our friend Rose. Sure did.

I understand. Sadly, her address was beeped out. I fucking hope so. So apologies to everyone who had their pens ready. But we sort of we had a quite a we had a bombshell at the start of the episode with respect to our business operations and podcast sponsor. And we sort of it was a bit overwhelming to take in at the time and we put it to the side and off off camera and microphone Tim and I've had to talk about the best way to move

forward because basically we don't know that we should be reading out private business DMs on you know and obviously there's an irony to that given that we've been doing that the whole way to here. But now that we're actually in the negotiation phase of our sponsorship deal with Mosh, we've got a few things to say. Here's what I know about business. What got you here won't get you there. So we're changing tactic now. That's right. So we're not live reading all of the communique we receive from Patty. We're actually communicating. Can you believe this? When we're not recording. We're going to the truck. This is how seriously we take our business. We're communicating, you know, on our own time.

It's crazy stuff. So basically it feels like our offer of just asking for 25,000 American dollars and not telling him exactly what he's going to get for it. Yeah. Didn't fly. No. And that's fine. That's actually fine with me because that's his prerogative. And I'm totally chill about it.

I don't know about you, but I'm totally chill. Cosine. Okay. And saying that we do still regard Mosh to be the sponsor of the podcast. And in fact, in saying that we would still like to say at the time of listening to this, please do not buy any Mosh products. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So while Mosh are an official sponsor of the podcast, don't buy the product. If you've bought Mosh bars recently, see if you can get a refund for them, return them. Yeah. That's really important. You got to send them back because you can't buy them until we've got a promo code to attach to your purchase. That's right. So we've, we've, we're first off, we got rejected. We're going to

negotiate down to our second offer, which is, is there a discount code we can have? And can I say this? If you can't return them, if you can't get a refund, chuck them in the bin, put them in your fire. If you've got like a log burner at home, don't eat them. Don't eat them. Really? You can't consume them because that's going to hamper sales because you need to go out and buy more once we've got the promo code active. Can you not even give them to someone to have? No, no. Because then they're still being consumed. That's satiating their mosh hunger.

So there you go. We need to build the hashtag build the hunger hashtag mosh pit. Yeah. So basically what we're thinking is they are a sponsor. We're negotiating a discount code. Yeah, we're negotiating a discount code. That's what's happening right now. And what do we get from that?

I'm thinking we should ask for nothing. Yeah, that seems like. So we're going to negotiate for a discount code for you. Yeah. We want nothing. We just want you to negotiate for a discount code for you. Yeah. We want nothing. We just want you to get mosh bars. Well, they don't need to know that we want nothing. We'll accept nothing.

Yeah. But maybe we should ask for something. 24,000. I don't know about that. Rufus is dead set keen to get out of the room now. He doesn't like talk of business. You know, he's not a capitalist like you and I. He doesn't understand it. He doesn't and I. He doesn't understand it.

He doesn't get it. He doesn't get it. I've left the door slightly adjust. He's got the option. What do you think about that? I think get it. That's perfect. I think that we should get the promo code.

Hopefully it's 20% off or more for our customers. We get some powder sales. I would say this. Here's my stated goal. I know that when we talked about it in the DMs with Patty, we said that we see a lot of crossover between the mosh bar eater and the podcast listener. I don't know that that's true. I don't either. I would love- But these are the things you say.

I would love- It's like going on a first date and you're like, I'm into rock climbing. You rock climbed once eight years ago and you could see yourself doing it again. Do they need to know that? No. I would love to sell one mosh bar with our discount code. And then honestly, I'd be happy to put a pin in it. Wow. Aim low, everybody listening. Aim so low. That's right.

That you can trip over your goal accidentally. That is what we're looking for. So onto another sponsor who also give us nothing. The hardworking people at random word generator. You didn't ask me what I'm reading. Tim. You asked, I got the sample for On the Road Jack Kerouac. Oh, wow. And then I could read the sample. But there is no ability for me to buy the book on Kindle.

I read that when I think a lot of, you know, wannabe, cool young men read it. When you were like 19? Yeah. And I remember thinking, you know, having to pretend that I thought it was good, but in my head being like, boring, boring and old, not even that well written. I might be wrong because I've not revisited it, but it's a very famous book. What for? What's happening in the preview? What do you mean? Sorry?

Well, what's going on with the bit you've read? Well, I don't know. It was available to me to read like the first chapter. Oh, do you mean narratively? What's happening? Um, well, I tell you what, most of it is dominated by a, um, preface that is written by someone who's like a biographer of Jack Kerouac's life. So they're telling, they're going like this person is actually William E. Sparrows, but he's called this in the book. This person is this author who was around at the time.

There's, it was all his mates and highly autobiographical of what was happening. And so it's kind of just telling you who all the characters are for a while and what was happening in Jack's life. It sounds pretty depressing. Lived with his parents until, you know, a pretty advanced age and gained success with that book. I think from memory, I think it said in this like late thirties after toiling away at professional writing for many, many years. So no success. And then that book got freaking huge. Yeah.

Seemingly like pretty much overnight. Like it came out and everyone was like, this is it. And it was celebrated as the jewel of the beat generation. Yeah. Is it any good? Couldn't fucking tell you. Kendall won't let me read the book. How about that?

I'm glad I asked. And then I'm let me read the book. How about that? I'm glad I asked. And then I'm listening to an audio book. Okay, that still counts. Which is blowing my tiny mind. It's just making me feel stupid because it's so hard to follow. It's called One Nation Under Blackmail. Okay.

And it's like, I think, sort of, about Jeffrey Epstein, but the context it gives starts in like the 1880s. Wow. I mean, if you really want to, everything does track back to the beginning. You know, like everything is a cause for something. Yeah. The web is large and complex. I just don't get into nonfiction really. I'm not a very curious person about the world. Is that bad? Nah.

I just like to speculate. That's fine. Someone else has got it, man. That's what I reckon. Someone else has got it. Can I actually say last, Charles and I were out and we both had to go to the bathroom at the same time. And all, you know, it was a, there was no,

there was no application of the gender binary. All the bathrooms are for everyone. And that's what I said. I said, oh, all the bathrooms for everyone. It's political correctness gone great. How, how was that received? Cause we had on a recent episode about an offering you made with Chelsea and your friend, Joe in the car and it didn't go great.

How was that one? Crushed. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Can I say it on stage? Hell yeah. Well, it's just thing is I was sitting here sort of making myself sound like an ignorant, speculative person.

I don't think it's, I don't think I'm necessarily ignorant. I'm not, I don't know. I don't think I'm uncurious, but I just don't understand how things work and I don't have a desire to learn. That's fine. Yeah. That's not... Yeah, absolutely. Do you have a...

You could wish your life away, couldn't you? Wishing that you were interested in something or wishing you were more like this or that. Yeah, that seems... But you just got to be how you are. Like a crazy pursuit, yeah. I've kind of been feeling that way recently about sports a little bit. More that I wish I had got into it at a younger age to get a base of knowledge to get into something now. But it's like, eh, whatever.

No. You got a lot on. Your hands are already full. It's fine. I mean, you've, ever since Remy was born, you've talked about getting him to the cricket. Yeah. And that's something I think three is too young for a cricket man. 100%. Well, it's something I'd love to do though. Maybe we go to the T20 when he's like six. Yeah, you see, you see kids at sports games and I do think that's nice. Yeah.

Although an All Blacks game would be great. Yeah. You know, pretty crispy, a lot of atmosphere. You get more atmosphere at a Warriors game in the National Rugby League. Uh, speaking of, you know, speaking of kids at games, uh, I was at the Warriors, the opening game of the 2024 season. And there was a lot of hope in the year at the start of the season for the Warriors. It's who, who, um, of course didn't make the playoffs this season.

As per. Well, yeah, but there was a lot of hype, a lot of bandwagoners on. And I went to the game with Joe actually, and we were sat next to, at Mount Smart, we were sat next to a dad and his daughter who would have been like 11. And the game was going great,

and then slowly it slipped out of our grasp and we lost. And we chatted a little bit to the guy next to us. And at the end of the game, when we're losing, we heard his like 11 year old daughter say, they're gonna lose. So we just drove an hour and a half up from home for nothing. And then just had to watch the dad sort of, up from home for nothing.

And then just had to watch the dad sort of navigate the disappointment and also the, the, the hurt that hearing that would put on you while he is also going through a loss of his own, seeing his, his team falter at the last. And our word of the day is distort. Wow, in last episode it was reality. And I feel like they go together, you know? Distort reality. Can I tell you how I think they go together? Yeah. Like walla walla walla walla shoo ba da bop da bop. All right. Is that from Greece? Yeah. Far out, man. There was a time in my life where that Greece mega mix would come up and hit me on the face once every three months. Now, minimum haven't heard it in a cool decade. Does that mean I'm not going to enough situations where that sort of carry on

happens or is it just gone? Is it just left the sort of public sphere? Bruce was so weird for our generation because it was a movie that came out in the 80s, right? But set in the 50s, but seemed so, so like, I don't want to say important, but like popular was always on TV. The mega mix was at every school disco that we attended. Why? I don't know. I'm just, what I'm thinking is it's incredible to me that we never

watched or analyzed Grease 2. Yeah. You and I. Yeah Greece too. Yeah. You and I, I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Celine Dion. My dream, to be an international star.

Could it happen again? Could Celine Dion happen again? I'm Thomas LeBlanc and Celine Understood is a four-part series from CBC podcasts and CBC news, where I pieced together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com

What happens? Do you have any concept of what happens in Greece too? I've just got it up. Is John Travolta in? John Travolta, here's my guess. I think, and I'm going, you know, patchy memory. John Travolta is not in it, but Olivia Newton John is? Cold.

Ah. It's a standalone, uh, sequel, originally titled, and I think this is where they went wrong, More Greece. You said originally, like they changed it. Yeah, it got negotiated down to Greece too. Imagine Greasier. And then if they made a third one, Greasiest. No, two new, same world, two new leads.

Maxwell Caulfield, who I've not heard of, and Michelle Pfeiffer, who I have. The plot returns to Rydell High School two years after the original film's graduation with a largely new cast. Now everyone is 52 years old. Crushing a box of darts every lunchtime. Interesting fact, Michelle Pfeiffer's first starring role. Far out. Yeah. Where is she right now, Michelle Pfeiffer? I'm imagining... Starring role far out. Yeah. Where is she right now? Michelle Pfeiffer.

I'm imagining. Sure. Should I do my age guess? Which during the course of this podcast, I've been pretty good with that is one you're bad with the populations are on the board, but you're pretty money with your age guesses. Michelle Pfeiffer modern day 60. I was gonna say one or three. So I'm going to split the difference.

I 62 years old. 66. It's a good guess or three. So I'm going to split the difference. I 62 years old. 66. It's a good guess, man. I think within five years is good. That's tough. I don't think I could do what you're doing. I really don't. You can give me one actually, if you want. All right, John Travolta. Oh, no, it's too close. Well, now let's get in there. John Travolta. 72. All right. I like the shooting from the hip, especially coming into the episode with, uh, He's 70. Wow. Look at you.

It's not bad. It's not nothing. That's great. Where is Michelle? Did you ever see After Earth? No. His Scientology movie? No.

We talked about doing that for a season for Worst Idea. We should watch that at some point. And then Will Smith made his Scientology movie with his son. After Earth. Oh, is that his one? Directed by... Oh, Battlefield, Battlefield Earth is... Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Gotcha. Is M. Night in Scientology? That would really track for me for some reason. Yeah. If you, if you go on his Wiki and Google science, nothing comes up. Huh. Hate science.

Anti-vax. What happens if you talk shit about Scientologists? I refuse to do it to find out. One of the groups I'll never ever fuck with is the Scientologists. That says everything you need to know. They performed the greatest like coup and infiltrating every like level of American government ever. I can't believe there was like an operation that they did. Really?

It was hyper successful. I wish I had more details at my fingertips, but there's a whole wiki about it, which I recommend everyone read. It is fascinating. That's what I mean though. This is the sort of thing that even though that is interesting to me and I love it when you particularly have digested the information and sort of, you know, your mama bird and you break down the nutrients to things that are digestible for me, the baby bird.

I've never fallen down a YouTube hole of that kind of thing. I just, yeah, anyway. I can't get past you saying where's Michelle Pfeiffer right now. And I just keep thinking about it. I don't know what the time is in Los Angeles, but I feel like she's, she's, she's in bed, three pillows behind her, pajamas on, knees are up, book on the lap, reading lamp on and really enjoying it. Nice glasses Yeah, yeah, that's the image I have right now

60 just a 64 66 66 really nice Walk-in wardrobe through to an ensuite in her bedroom as well. Great PJs to silk. Yeah I mean and doesn't she deserve it Yeah Can we say that and and cool pillows to like two normal ones and then one of those tri- big triangular kind of ones that look like a, you know, like an arrowhead sort of a shape. Yeah. I am just seeing now that she's married to a guy called David E. Kelly. The TV producer.

Yeah. Ali McBeal. I believe. Boston Legal. Boston Public. Oh my gosh. David E. Kelly also did... You're gonna love this. Doogie Howser, MD.

Oh wow. That must've been early doors for him. That's right. Far out. One of the, one of very few screenwriters to have created shows that have aired on all four top commercial TV networks. ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, as well as Cable Giant HBO. It must be shitting diamonds.

Wow. Like to be, cause I think most of those shows reach syndication, which doesn't even seemingly happen anymore in the streaming era. Like, what happened? What would happen when a show would reach syndication? I think the rule was where you had to get a show to a hundred episodes and then it would get fanged out like around the world. Joseph Moore and I made it to a hundred episodes of Fail Army and we didn't see a fucking dime.

That sucks dude. Well we got paid obviously to make them at the time. But you didn't syndicate it. Yeah, yeah. And honestly, rightly so. Imagine if Fail Army was just still- That was an art project in my mind, as far as I'm concerned. That was an art project.

It was beautiful. I was such a big fan of what you guys were doing. It was incredible. Well, to be fair, you know, a working relationship forged in the fires of fail army. I really had in that, um, that pocket of, it's kind of like what Tom Green was doing way back in the day. I know it's not exactly the same, but it's not a million miles away where it's like, I've found a thing it's on TV. I can cut. I've got a lot of latitude here and not a lot of resource.

And I think that's where beautiful things happen. You know, in those spaces. I don't think we would disrespect fullness deliberately. You were incredibly disrespectful. Yeah, but I think we would disrespect. I think with hindsight, you know, it's the folly of youth, isn't it? I would not have the self-confidence to just like basically disrespect anyone who would watch the show for what it says it's going to be.

Get given an incredible opportunity, which like do not come along in New Zealand and have pretty rare anywhere really to do a TV show and then just shit on it using the TV show itself. It's beautiful. That's awesome. Too good. Yeah. Too bloody good.

Well, I mean, we were, I guess, I suppose to the, um, to the, the, the public, the television, watching public, we were distorting their vision of what fail army was meant to be to match up our own vision and a distortion. A lot. I like using distortion, you know, as a synonym for lie. I feel like that comes up a bit. Yeah. It was what I told was a distortion of the truth.

Yeah. You lied, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's a nice long way to go around. If you say I distorted it was a slight distortion. You're basically admitting to guilt. You've been like, yeah, but you're saying it in such a sexy poetic way. Yeah. Did you lie? There may have, there may have been a distortion. Is it a lie? Take yourself out of there. Third person it, right? That's rule number one. No one did this thing. This is a thing that happened, which is observable. Yeah. Number two, don't say lie. Never say lie. Deny, deny, deny. Distortion? It's okay. It's got a lot of syllables in it. It'll throw people off.

They'll get confused. I think our wires got crossed. That's a very deflective. I think our wires. There was a misunderstanding. There might have been a slight distortion. Yeah. It's not deliberate.

Yeah. Now that is a lie. Now you're, now you're lying. Distort, distort. You can distort yourself. I was thinking of like static on a screen for some reason. Is that distortion? You know, like on an old TV screen, like static.

I don't know. You call it, you used to have the ant marathon. Did you call it that? No, but I know what you're, what you're saying there. Yeah. The little tiny stops. When the whole TV was just static black and white, white noise. The kids will never know.

The image of white noise. We had an old CRT TV that would, um, when I was about 10 years old and it would When the whole TV was just static black and white, white noise. The kids would never know. The image of white noise. We had an old CRT TV that would, um, when I was about 10 years old and it would kind of like, it would do that scan line thing every now and then where it would be doing normal TV. And then there'd be like this fuzzy line that would go from bottom to top and you would have to hit the TV on the side to sort it out. That is weird.

And I did, I did it one day and I was like 10 and the picture turned off and then the TV made a loud popping sound and started smoking. And that's what we were contending with back in the day folks. This is the thing is I think even now people of our generation think you can fix technical problems by banging them which is not strictly true anymore. There was a time where that was a genuine strategy. We are living in a digital non-mechan to remember because we've not brought it up on a phone call yet. And we're not, I mean, I feel like this podcast is hopefully reinvigorating interest in phone calls. I certainly think we're changing the hearts and minds of some of the people

we're on the phone with two things. We're trying to get popular on this show. Mosh and the telephone call by the way. So it's still big no-no on the Mosh bars presently. Phone as many people as you want. Yeah, that you can do. Tell them we sent you. But sort of reflecting on more analogue or older technology,

and it's something I wanted to remember when we were on the phone with Rose last time, but I forgot, is do you remember being on the phone and you'd pick up like the line was close to another line? And you'd pick up kind of you could hear other people's conversations? Yeah. Wasn't that crazy? Yeah. Be on the phone and they'd just be like a woman inside of your phone talking to another person. But it is so cool. Because it's like, what a voyeuristic little... Because you don't know who they are or where they are.

There's absolute anonymity to it. And that, you know, I mean, there's always a risk that you might find out. But yeah, it was like that was that is pure voyeurism. And I'd say, in fact, you just said before getting your wires crossed. That's probably where that saying comes from. There's no switchboards. Yeah. Telephone switchboard. Yeah. Far out. It's from switchboards. Yeah. Telephone switchboards. Yeah.

Far out. Every saying has a start. Yeah. Isn't that mad? Can you remember that experience of like picking up... Yes, not of a particular phone call. We sound about 250 years old. I'm talking about hitting CRT TV screens to make them work.

You're talking about crossed lines on landline telephones? You better believe it. Fuck man, the march of technology is really aging us. You better believe it. And I'm good with it. You better believe it. I think you and I should get into cigars. Hey, what if I just start talking like this? Yeah, it's like-

And you think I'm already into cigars? You're ahead of the game. I could just, I could talk like this for the rest of the episode. Could you think I'm already into cigars. You're ahead of the game. I could talk like this for the rest of the episode. Could you? I'll give it a go. Yeah, nice. Ask me a question. Here's my question. What's the best piece of life advice you could give me, a young man, at the start of my cigar smoking journey? Well, a man of my age and experience when it comes to cigars, I'd say if you got them Smoke them. That's great advice draw a lot of people gonna tell you not to draw deep Don't listen to them Draw deep really if you ain't feeling in the bottom of your lungs you ain't smoking in oh my god

What's the point and paying a hundred dollars for a fresh Cuban? If it doesn't make you cough up something from the very bottom of your internal organs. I can like feel how bad that would be. Well. It's from my limited cigar experience. To look at you now, you can feel it. You can only feel it when you draw deep. All right.

Did you have any other life advice? No, it doesn't have to center around cigars. And I feel like if you got him smoking, maybe as a metaphor. Are you a married man? I am. Cheat. That's your life advice? Cheat.

Okay, why? Cheat often and early. Introduce how much you're going to cheat. Yeah. Stick to your guns. Establish a baseline early on. Might have missed the boat on that one, unfortunately. I've been married for five years, I think. Never say never.

Okay. What's your wife's name? Zoe. Beautiful name. Yeah, thank you. Means life. Be good to her. I will.

I am. But she... Cheat early and cheat often. There is some incredible advice coming from you. Yeah. Is this coming from a place of personal experience? Absolutely not. You would never do it.

No, no. Are you married? Yeah. Okay. Of how many years? 60. Wow. So what about the cigar thing?

Do you also draw deeply when you smoke cigars? Heavens no, it'll make you sick. You're a bad guy. No, no, I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I just give bad advice. All right, can you give me some bad life advice, please? Some bad life advice. Yeah. Spend what you have. and then a little more. Damn it.

I was trying to flip it and reverse it to get you to give me some good advice, but that still sounds like bad advice. What do you mean? Go to the bank. You told me to cheat on my wife as good as good advice. Go to the bank. See how much money you can borrow. Okay.

They're going to tell you a number. Yeah. After that, they're going to tell you a smaller number. But by that point, tune out. Okay. The smaller number that's something to do with them getting the money back. An overdraft? No, no, no. It's like it's interest. That's the one. Okay. Don't worry about that. Right. Never worry about that. What do I do with the money? Once I take it out from the bank, whatever you want. Really?

Yeah. Find a woman. You're not married to take her out for dinner. Expensive. All the trimmings. What are the trimmings? I've always wondered that. I just, it's drinks are a trimming.

When the waiter says still are sparkling, don't say tap. It looks cheap. But hold on, but is that a sparkling or trimming? Absolutely. Sparklings are trimming. Is that what trimmings are? Yeah. Alright. If they've got oysters, order them.

If you got them, shuck them. Cool man. Shuck them and fuck them. Shuck em and fuck em. Thanks so much for your advice. I'm glad you're dismissing me because it's hurting my voice. Yeah, yeah. Bye bye. Nice guy.

Lovely dude. Lot of things to say, lot of advice to dispense. Yeah. What bits you take on, that's up to you. That's up to you. And we're gonna leave it there. I think so. I think we've distorted your vocal chords enough for one episode.

I don't disagree. And, um, here's what I think. If there is a book on Kindle where you can get the sample, you probably should be able to get the whole book. From that? Well, just, I want to pay to read it. You know what I mean? I mean, it is when you're like, I have the money. I want to give it to you.

You gave me the sample. The point of the sample was to bait the hook to get me to buy the book. Now I can't buy the book. Let me buy the book. Come on, guys. Yeah, let's get that sorted out. I've actually been reading a great entry in my notes app. Yeah. Yeah. What does it say? What's from December 2019? And it's a travel diary I kept when I drove across America with Ken. Oh, wow. I really thought you were going somewhere else with this. OK. Is it awesome? Do you want to read any of it? Absolutely not.

OK, we'll leave it there. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Thomas LeBlanc, and Celine Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I pieced together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts.