The Worst Idea Of All Time - Good Times: 13 (w/David O'Doherty)

Episode Date: November 9, 2024

In the longest Good Times episode yet, Guy and Tim find themselves bouncing from idea to idea with wild abandon. New merch? A screenplay? A BUSINESS that rents MOVIES!? It’s too much for the boys to handle on their own, so they enlist the wonderful David O’Doherty, fresh off of a footy win, for an extended edition of Lost Art of the Phone Call. Check out David’s fantastic new show, What Did You Do Yesterday?, wherever good podcasts are sold.Our intro music, “Los Angeles,” courtesy of Eyeliner.TMG: Get every episode early and in video on our Substack! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This Prime Minister is not worth the cost, crime and corruption. I am not a KGB agent. Listen to Canada Land wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. you When this is playing, does a series of events through your life in chronological order ever flash through your life in chronological order, even flash through your mind. I think of every other time I've picked up the mic. Yes. On stage as well or just podcasting? Just podcasting. This is my grand final.

This is my Super Bowl. This is the Grand Prix of podcasting. This is the Grand Prix of podcasting. This is the Grand Prix of podcasting. It's good times with Tim and Guy. Putting myself first this morning. A bold maneuver. Nah, you deserve it man. Hey Monty.

Hey Tim. Good to see you too. I swear I used to be Guy Do you know I used to be, I swear I used to be guy. I reckon I used to be guy to everyone. Okay. And somewhere along the way I became Monty. Yeah. And this is a good thing. I'm happy. Monty's good, guy is good. But Monty has become so, I don't want to say pervasive, but so ever present as one of my names that often I'll meet someone and they'll know me as a Monty, a person I've not met. And then when someone else talks to me and says, Guy, and I respond to Guy, I can feel

their confusion. I could have sworn you were a Monty. Because Monty's like it's your nickname but it is some people's real ass name. Yeah, for some people that's as good as it gets. You know, you've taken Monty culture and you're wearing it like a hat whenever you want but then you get to take it off. You don't have the burden of going through life as a Monty. You get to choose when you're a Monty. As a man who wears hats and who was, as recently as our last episode, wearing a hat I'd got made, I think a hat that says Monty is a good hat. I think that is a hat I'm actually going to investigate.

That should be your merch. That would sound man. A hat that says Monty. I've been thinking about merch. I went to a gig, lucky enough to go to a gig recently. Incredible. And I got the merch and I was at the merch table you're gonna drop the name on who or what you saw why are you so interested in my life bro why can't I just why can't some things just be for me why is it every time I bring something up you want these superfluous details. What an incredible attitude to bring to a conversation. Like, you just talk to someone, you're like, hey, when did this thing? Let me ask you a little bit about that.

Hey, man, fuck you massively. No, the gig, the gig was you're going to love this. Yeah. Herbie Hancock. Oh, dog. You absolute dog. Yeah. Was it awesome? It was unbelievable.

He's 80. Yeah. He is yet another elder person who is forcing me to not reckon with my mortality, but aspire to. Last episode it was it was Paul McCartney and now it's Herbie Hancock. They were both they're both musicians. You need to lower the bar in terms of who you're sort of you know measuring yourself. No you need to lift you need to lift yours. I actually I came home after that gig this is a little bit ago now and um YouTube was suggesting uh like for the first

time ever I think because I've been watching some of those videos where it's like this person answers the internet's most asked questions on certain topics. Yeah. And it was a nutritionist answering questions about, you know, long health and longevity. And I was like, ma'am, this is following me around. This is a point of interest for me. But I went to the merch table at the Herbie Hancock. We nailed the arrival. We were running, I would say by my standards, late and by Chelsea's standards, right on time. And I think every relationship has this dance and no one's happy. And that is compromise. And we got to the gig and went to the bathroom. It was like, the doors were 7.30, showtime 8.00 p.m. We're walking through the place at 7.50, 8.00 p.m. And I'm like, come on.

Both go to the bathroom. I come out, I hit the merch table. It's not that late, but go on. This is, you are the problem. You, you, you, and I am about to be the problem, but you are the problem. Okay. Why do you think, how can you put,

you run gigs and perform. Doesn't this drive you crazy that everyone in New Zealand's attitude is like, yeah, so the gig starts at eight, so I'll get there at eight. Yeah. No! The gig starts at eight, so you get there at 7.45,

especially in New Zealand, it's like. Oh, you try your best. How many gigs have started late because there's a fucking queue out the door for the bar one minute before curtains up yeah that's true but you just got to like work with that you know you got to build that in can't we change the culture yeah hey good on you man you're waving the flag for a timely orderly scheduled start-off to one of the world's greatest ever jazz musicians. Dude, sadly. A genre known for not following the rules. Like that is its main thing. And you're like, let's keep this pristine, tidy, stick to schedule. There's so much to say here.

First of all, in this anecdote, I am running against the broader point I'm trying to make, which is I'm running by my own standards late also This isn't about have laid this at Chelsea's fate. Let's not speed around the bush here. Yeah, of course It's always at her feet. The spirit of jazz. Yes is I don't think it's meant to be carried by the audience's approach to punctuality. I don't mean that I think it's a part of it. You should come stoned and in your own time. We've got an 80 year old musician who's traveled from wherever he lives in America to Wellington, New Zealand. The least we can do is fucking arrive on time. That is,

whatever genre of music you're playing. Anyway, this Anyway, I went to the merch table and there was great merch. I bought a t-shirt. He's incensed everyone. Guy is incensed at the detour that this has taken. Well, no, I'm not incensed. I'm passionate, I suppose you could say. And there were a few things happening in my head. I was at the merch table and I was like, man, we're not like, at some point you've just got to commit and get merch. We've done it as a podcast. I've not done it as a comedian. I've not done it as a spelling host. But I was like, I really,

I really want to break into merch. It was a really cool t-shirt he had. A hat that says Monty's pretty nice. After my show this year, I thought about doing a, um, a GMT, sort of Guy Montgomery time style merchandise thing. Um, anyway, the hat saying Monte, I mean, you're not wrong. I think I like it. It's simple. It's straightforward.

It does the job. Also to sort of return to another part of the anecdote. Charles came out of her bathroom. She saw me at the merge table. She wanted merch. Yeah. I know what size I'm getting She's running tests on sizes and I'm standing there going we don't have time for sizes Yeah, absolutely don't she goes we have time for sizes anyway She she gets the size we walk into the concert. We sit down not three seconds after we've sat down

The lights go down. Fuuuck. Allocated seating? Allocated seating. Thank God. And Chelsea and I look at each other and we both smile and we go, that is kind of exactly when you want to get down. So she crushed it, in other words.

Sorry, my phone just went off a moment ago and I'd just like to take a brief moment to explain what's going on normally. I'm in Do Not Disturb and I am in Do Not Disturb, but there's two exceptions to the rule. One is my beautiful wife. And the other one is I've got a rig here. This is going to be of interest to possibly one person listening. Is that when you listen back? It's me. Hi I'm the person who cares about this. You might find it interesting you know how I told you to buy it you were you were when you were thinking about buying the switch you were like what thingy should I buy and I was like you should get this thing called the ally because it's like a full computer but it's like in switch form. So I

bought one of those as a second PC and that's what everything is running through at the moment because I lent some of my laptops so they could do a job today that they need to do. Good man. You're always, you're always lending out your kit. I've got a lot of kit. You can't, you got, you got to, you got to be part of the community when you got this pay it forward.

Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. I was actually, yeah, I went to last night a short film festival, which was awesome. I went to the launch event and I was talking to some people I was reminded of the fact that Calum and Annabel, sports team, they've shot a feature film. They shot that on my cameras, like a whole feature.

Which is pretty cool. I've actually, I have got a link. I had a coffee with Calum and Annabel recently. And we were talking about it. I'm so, I'm so excited for them. I think they're called sports team. They've made a lot of the music videos for the bets. I think they're two of our most exciting and talented

sort of creative, practical creative brains. They do art department, they do direction, they do set dressing. Didn't they do art department on taskmaster most recently That's right And I'm so excited to see I've seen a teaser trailer for what they've made and I'm like and I know that it's on your cameras and I'm blown away by how good it like not not technically not like wow Tim your cameras look good, but just like

What they've made off their own bed for nothing yeah of so little money they made a feature in the South Island crazy stuff lunacy I had an idea when I like it's actually been done twice now oh no they didn't do that but there was the ant Timps in that bookworm yeah movie which was about searching for the Canterbury panther. Yeah. When I first, before I did comedy, I didn't know what I was doing. I was trying, I tried to write a screenplay about two best friends based on me and my friend,

Johnno, before one of them moves away. Firstly, ouch. Secondly, go on. Johnno is Nick Phon, you know, we've had this conversation before. Yeah. And, um, going out into the Canterbury Plains to hunt for the, um, Panther. Yeah. And that was, that was my idea. And I just read Pacoon by Spike Milligan and what the central sort of, I just lifted the idea from Spike Milligan's Pacoon, basically I don't know if it came at all. What's the story there? I actually can't remember. I just remember this one bit of story that we lifted.

This is like, this would be 18 years ago basically or something that this was happening. But we're hunting for the canary, the black panther, the black cat, because this is relevant because sports teams film is in the same area that this was going to be set. And this movie book when the Aunt Timson made also follows a father daughter, the father being Elijah Wood, hunting the Canterbury Panther. But we, the characters of John and I, whatever, whoever was going to play them, they were traipsing across all this farmland to try and find the Panther. And then as they're doing that, there are farmers that, uh,

see that they're doing this and they think that they're trying to poach their livestock. And so the farmers start tracking the two best friends and The farmers who are anticipating the movement to the best friends lay like a trap on the ground You know like one of those classic movie trips where something steps in it and then it goes and it gets hoisted up Yeah, yeah, yeah the tree and they lay the trap but they accidentally wind up capturing the black panther so they lay the trap and then and then all of a sudden they got a live big cat on their hands and that was sort of that was where I got to and then it's

it's gone it's never it's in here you just you just told me beat by beat like the first two thirds of the movie sounds Sounds fantastic. Get to writing them. Yeah, it's not nothing. I'm on holidays. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Not holiday, holidays. It's got a real school flavor to it. Holidays.

Speaking of ideas, new segment, Tim's Great Ideas. I like it. Okay. I mean, there's your first great idea. Yeah, exactly. So we've got one in the can. The first great idea is have some great ideas. Second great idea. So problem that we're facing at the moment right there's all these streaming services and they put stuff on and it's fine you pay a little bit of money you get to see all of this content so in theory that's like real good and breezy and awesome but the

thing is is that every now and then there'll be a show that you want to watch maybe it's like an old show that they've got on their platform and they'll just like take it away without any warning and then no one's got it because like they've got the rights but they take it off for some reason because it's like you know to do it or something. This is it's it's slightly different from what you're describing, but the greatest lost case of this for me is that will forte live action slash animated movie that Wile E coyote versus ACME.

Oh, wow. And they made a whole movie about Wile E coy Coyote, like the sort of, you know, the unlucky loser from Road Runner, the cartoons, taking Acme company to court for all of the faulty equipment that had sold them. They filmed the whole thing. Apparently it was fantastic. And then the studio, it might have been Paramount. Yeah. Warner Brothers, sorry.

They were like, the only way to ensure that we don't like take a total bath on this is to never release it and call it a tax write-off. And so this finished movie that had a cast and crew screening got swallowed by the system and is never gonna be shared with the world. It's finished. That is painful. Will Forte is so funny and that's such a great concept. It's such a good premise. So speaking of great concepts here's mine. We have a like a chain of stores that you can go to and there's film and television but

it's on physical media so it's like DVDs or blu-rays or tapes and you can get a membership to like a library And you just pay a little bit of money and you can like go in and get The actual disk so they can't like take it away from you It's physically housed in there and you just pay a little bit of money to like rent something for a week And then you can take it home and watch it. So it's like, you would need... How do we get the files or the video files from the cloud or the internet? How do we get them onto the hard copies? There's a lot of ways. Sometimes they release it officially. They'll put out a Blu-ray,

and so we could just use those, or alternatively, I guess if we wanted to go a little jazz on it, we could download the torrent and then rip that onto a disc. How do you download a torrent from something that's been wiped from the internet? Well, it's been wiped from the streaming services is the problem.

It's like, you want the convenience of turning on your TV and chucking on Disney Plus and knowing that the Will Forte movie where he takes, you know, where Wally Cody takes Acme to court is on there. Because I assume Warner Brothers is owned by Disney at this point, like we all are. But it's not there. So you just want like a sort of a, I see this as being a franchise sort of an operation. Like there's a store in every neighborhood where you can go to and like rent for a limited amount of time, the thing that you wanna watch.

And then you take it back and then someone else can rent it after that. Hearing it described in this modern age and time. Yeah. Honestly, honestly, sounds like a cannot miss business prospect because I represent people, not professionally, but I am a person.

And so in that respect, I represent people. I am paying for more than I can watch. I am paying multiple streaming services that I know I'm not getting value on and like I'm not getting return on investment for. If we whittled those choices down to an experience whereby I was selecting exactly the thing I wanted to watch with an external deadline imposed to be like,

this is your window. You gotta watch this. I don't know how you figure out the costing. I mean I don't know how this hasn't already been done. This is this genuinely solves a problem that I feel like a lot of people are confronting with the way that streaming services function. I think so too. That's why it's one of Tim's great ideas. I tell you what if Netflix had any brains yeah they'd be doing it. Fuckin this is is what I'm saying, man. This is what I'm saying. I just can't see how it would miss.

I think it's a great idea, and it solves a problem for me. It's one of those things where all the best inventions are solving a problem I have in my life, which is there's some things that I want. I just wanna go into a place where I can walk around, peruse the covers, maybe talk to somebody who works there who's like seen a lot of movies get recommendations from them Netflix recommendations, but it's like fucking algorithm and they're all Sydney Sweeney and a different state of undress. I'm like, maybe I want something else this evening Netflix

Nothing against Sydney Sweeney by the way. I went to in Melbourne earlier this year during the comedy festival I went to there was an art installation called it was Joy and they'd given I don't know what the you know there was eight or so artists the broad brief was Joy Joy, and it was like in a museum, and they all got a certain room to install. You may have spoken about this previously on the podcast, that an Australian artist had created a video studio. Basically your concept.

Yeah, incredible. I mean, so you could have the experience of going and like, not down to, it wasn't set up in such a way that you could actually spend your heart earned. Right. It was a representation of what this dream could be like realized. That's pretty cool. I'm on the same wavelength. Maybe I took the idea.

Do you know what? Now that I'm saying it out loud, I think I stole the idea from this art installation that you went to. That's probably where I got it from. It was just like, do you know those things that's in the back of your brain and you don't realize and then you sort of sort of plagiarize from somewhere?

I mean, you're not stealing it as an art project. To your credit, you're stealing it as an actual legitimate business idea. So I think everything's above board here. It felt like something I had come up with that I had never seen or heard of before but now that I think about it I think it was off the back of that art installation that you went to. I see. You're disappointed to learn that your great idea may have already been in the universe in some form. That's okay.

Yeah, but that's okay. That's alright. Because there'll be people also, there'll be people they'll be like, I would call them doomsday preppers. People who have been collecting physical media their whole lives. Perhaps, you know, to protect themselves against the circumstances we now live in. There actually is a slightly different term for it and that is data hoarder. And I am, I am part of a small online community. We call them data sex workers now, Tim. Got him.

Data hoarding is a niche interest and it's a lot of fun. And what is it? Is it collecting Blu-rays? It's people who are just collecting a lot of a lot of hard drives, basically figuring out how to get the cheapest, biggest hard drives. There's a concept called shucking where you get you buy like a hard, like an external hard drive.

And sometimes for some reason, the one that's inside of it is cheaper than buying that bit off the shelf. So people would be like, hey, get this one and then you can shuck it and get the good hard drive from inside of there, throw away the case and then put that in your server. I can see why they call that shucking. That is exactly shucking.

Is there ever been oyster shucking? No, but I had a friend who shucked oysters. And it looks like- The looks like fucking gnarly. It's it's a particular skill. Yeah. You know, big time. You got to wear that to be good at. He would wear gloves. There's so much stuff that would be cool to be good at.

And Tim, it's just not happening. Name three of the top of your head if you'd be so kind. Things that will be cool to be good at. Yeah. OK. Playing the paragliding piano. off the top of your head if you'd be so kind. Things that would be cool to be good at? Yeah, I'll kick us off. Paragliding. Playing the piano, okay? Paragliding, playing the piano, standing on a surfboard on a wave.

Surfing? Yeah. Cool. Okay, yeah, if you wanna use its informal title, sure. Sorry for putting some respect on their name. All of those things would be cool to be good at. What about building a deck? That would be cool to be good at. That would be sensational. What about the other three that we've mentioned them building a deck though. Building a deck is like I can hire a person for

that and I've got no qualms with that. Hiring someone to be good at... I guess you went to Herbie Hancock which is essentially hiring someone to be good at piano for you Dude, isn't that all of life? Is it buying a coffee hiring someone to be good at making coffee for you? Yeah, I guess you're right Isn't going to the video store Your concept. Yes and hiring some physical media from an expert behind the counter. Yeah Just hiring whoever created that movie to entertain you now

I Can tell even on your face that it feels like we're getting into maybe slightly different territory with that Yeah, I did go too far, but I like Putting everything in life through that lens that what you are paying for is someone being I mean this is this is this sort of there's probably a word for it but like the artisanal economy there is a word for that I can't remember what it is but it's like you know crafts people. It was sort of like there was a I don't know if it was a real thing or just sort of

a lovely metaphor that economists like to think of, but sort of an era after the medieval times where it was a lot of crafts people, you know, you go to your blacksmith to get your metalwork done. Yeah, yeah. Everyone had a thing. Yeah, that's a nice, it's a nice thought. It's a nice thought. Things with inequality. Everything's a nice thought. Everything from the past, you know,

I've sanded off all the edges of the Murray and... It's not real though. It's not, it's like... You're saying the past isn't real? The past isn't real. Okay. Not as, it's so infrequently the case that, like, it is often the case that we've got this idea of what the past was like based on some fucking poindexters at a university and they were way off.

We find something that's like, throw that out. We were wicked off. The poindexters at the university, the way they write about the past, they don't even make it interesting. It's like they make it inaccessible. If you're gonna be wrong, at least sex it up a bit. You know? Yeah.

What if everyone was fucking and making cool clay? There are periods when everyone was fucking. That's true, actually. I think I'm describing ancient Greece in Rome. Yeah, exactly. I feel like, and then there was like sort of evolutionary shame where it was like everyone for a band of time, like hundreds of years was into fucking.

Yeah. And then somehow the next, like their, their children or their grandchildren, their great grandchildren inherited like a sense of, you know, the day after of the experience being like, Oh, I can't believe what I was saying. That's not, it's an interesting thing. Pretty well historically became prudish. How did the Puritans kind of win over time? I mean, that sucks.

How did, how did they win any argument or any shaver? Yeah. Puritans kind of win over time. That sucks. How did they win any argument or any favor? Yeah, because the thing with the Puritans is their shame wasn't even theirs. It was like they were projecting shame or experiencing shame for an action that they never took. This is why, you know, I think it's good that we've got to focus on eliminating bullying in the workplace and in schools and stuff. You need to reserve a tiny bit of bullying in human culture because some ideas are shithouse and we need to mock the people who have them to make sure they don't penetrate too much. We need a little bit of bullying to keep the bad ideas out.

Hey, Tim, I just want to let you know, one, I agree. And two, I've organized for the forgotten out of the phone call, the lost out of the phone call. I've actually organized, because again, we're recording on a website, but I've organized for someone to kick in the door. And I just wanted to give you a heads up. Yeah. Because when we did it last time and your Hannah came in,

I got the fright of a lifetime. And I assume I assume that this person's gonna kick in the door any second now. I knew about this. I've known the timing I've had in my head. I actually gave our guest no instructions at all. Apologies for that. I don't know if you did. No they're, with the software, hold on. Right now. Yeah. What? They're, what I respect that they're watching sports.

I knew they would be football. I can't identify the uniform immediately. It might be some form of Gaelic football or some, no, it looks like football. Actually, it looks like regular football. Um, and the team they support has just scored. Okay. So it's almost full time. So I've said three minutes is what it is.

It may even, yeah. Okay. No, that's cool. In the meantime, do you want to get up our word of the day before it's too high? Would love to a word from our sponsor and, uh, any updates on the Patty Schwartz situation guy, and could you just take really briefly, take us through the Patty Schwartz situation guy and could you just really briefly take us through the Patty Schwartz situation for the...

Patty Schwartz situation have basically Patty Schwartz and his mum are solving Alzheimer's by making a profit from selling nutrition bars. We wanted a slice of the pie so we basically hit him up through my Twitter DM and an e-message that Chris Parker Ghost wrote saying, Hey, Patty, how about we talk about your product in our podcast and you give us $25,000 US dollars. He wrote back saying, um, we kind of like to see. Not a hard no. Not a hard no. Not a hard no. Not a hard no. We had a conversation about A, sharing these private messages in a public domain and B,

perhaps, you know, trying out a genuinely trying out a relationship where we have a discount code and we send people to buy the product. I've not relayed that thought to Patty. Patty is still swimming around in my inbox looking for a response. And I am presently, presently, because we're recording in the morning, locked out of social media. Good on you.

And so basically- I disabled YouTube on my phone for a week. Fuck. That's the one I'm doing for a week now. Back on the combs, off YouTube. How was the one I'm doing for a week now. Back on the coffees off YouTube. Yeah. How was the first coffee back? Fucking electric.

Really? Although I think a little over extracted if I'm being a pedantic. Oh, that's a taste thing though. What about the bodily response? Awesome. So good. Yeah.

Yeah. Just phenomenal. Also our word of the day today guy. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. just phenomenal. Also our word of the day today guy. G. J E E R. You got it. I don't call them Mr. spelling for nothing. High value word in Scrabble. Assuming you can get a...

What's a J throwing down for you? A J is worth eight. That is insane to me. Eight? It's actually, well I tell you, yeah you sound like X because X is also worth eight but J. J and X have the same value? Yeah I used to have a bit about exactly this thing. J is surprisingly less likely than you think. Right you kind of need a lot of vowels to work with with the J And it's very like J You basically need to be you need the space to be starting your word with the J for comforts true It's really to put J. I don't think I can think of a word where J finishes it

No, right. It's not an English language sort of feature Is that putting a J X X is more versatile X X can start middle and close J basically you're confident to start with what do you use? What what words come up in your head for X like what what is X in the middle of or boxing? I guess oxen Yeah, it's at the end of hex. It's in the middle of okay. This is for you Yeah Yeah, it's at the end of hex. It's in the middle of okay. This is for you Yeah Jay is I just all I can think of is disjointed for or disjoint or from the middle of Jay man You've really crushed it if you've got you know the combination to put disjointed dis disjoin

Because disjointed is even too many letters. I would think for you to somebody have to put join and you'd have to But then you're not getting the maximum value of the J. You're getting the H But you're not getting it if it was on a triple letter or whatever You're not getting shit. If you're putting the surrounding letters on a triple word, however The value of the J is factored in We've not been playing Scrabble. I've not played Scrabble for a long time. I actually I think I miss it We've not been playing Scrabble, I've not played Scrabble for a long time, I actually, I think I miss it. I've been playing a lot of Battleships with Olive, and I'll tell you something about Battleships,

it's not a very good game. I was going to say, how much skill is involved with Battleships and how much is luck? So to answer your first question, zero, and then to move on to the second question, 100%. Mm. That's not, yeah, that doesn't a good game, mate. No. Can indigenous ways of knowing help kids cope with online bullying?

At the University of British Columbia, we believe that they can. Dr. Johanna Sam and her team are researching how both Indigenous and non-Indigenous youth cope with cyberaggression, working to bridge the diversity gap in child psychology research. At UBC, our researchers are answering today's most pressing questions. To learn how we're moving the world forward, visit ubc.ca. Forward happens here. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

Staying on top of Canadian news does not have to be boring. Canada Land is a podcast that brings you the news differently. Our reporters break original news stories that you won't hear anywhere else, and our hosts and guests have funny and smart conversations about what is happening in Canadian politics and media. We're living through an era of heightened anxiety and fear. This prime minister is not worth the cost, crime and corruption.

I am not a KGB agent. Listen to Canada Land, wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not a KGB agent. Listen to Canada land, wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. I go and then I wanted to try out some other games. So I got, I bought operation, right. It was on sale at

the warehouse. Yep. I'd never played it as a child before. I remember the ads cause it looked like an exercise. I was right up there with mousetrap where I was like, damn, there's these games with the buzzers and the moving parts, these sort of American imports where it's like, you're not just using your brain to entertain yourself, but they've actually addressed some of that in the gameplay. We were such a fucking puritanical gaming house. I nothing with an electric current should be in front of these kids until they're 18 years old. My parents would start jarring at anyone who brought over a game with a

cartoon image on it. They'd be like, you're trying to raise a fucking moron. But no no I tried playing operation it is so hard the the top the tweezers that you're using is the surgeon that they have the grip equivalent of like one of those claw machines I was fumbling around trying to get the water on the knee out dude which is one of the easier ones and And then it was buzzing up a storm. It's a shock guy.

And they took the shock out because they're cowards. There's never been a shock guy. It's always been. It's just a buzzer and a noise. It's never shocked you, you know. Cause they would have to release such a huge amount of current into a child's body. Can I say it has shocked me?

Has it? It's shocked me at how hard it is? Can I say that? Holy freaking moly! Welcome to the pod, to the phone call, David O'Doherty. David, how are you? Is my voice as loud as yours? Yeah, almost definitely not. Oh, but that's because of the Irish lilt.

Do we carry on? Will I try and turned it up? No, David, everything can be fixed in post. Um, we're midway through an episode. I'm so happy to see you and I'm so happy you're here. How are you? What, what are some of the topics so far in the episode? We've covered quite a lot of ground Guy went to Herbie Hancock and we had a discussion around the etiquette around sort of tardiness

When you should show up at a concert Tim thinks versus showtime yeah Tim thinks basically You you mapped your arrival onto the genre of the concert. So as it's a jazz concert, time is out the window and you can show up basically when you like. Yeah. Turn up stoned and at your own pace. Well, you'd actually, you'd have value inside on this day because your dad is a jazz musician. So you would have been around the jazz scene your whole life. Yeah. Well, the first obvious question, was it Herbie Hancock's headhunters project or his straight ahead trio or quartet?

It was who it was. It was a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B. It was Colin Abb. Uh, basically he's touring. I wouldn't say for the last time, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't bet on him coming back to New Zealand. Yeah. And so he's got a young band of four musicians and they are basically playing overtures and

medleys of solo and band hits. Yeah. The big, did he play Cantaloupe Island? That would be one of his most famous ones. I don't know that he did play Cantaloupe Island. I'll tell you, I probably recognized, I recognized Chameleon and I recognized Spider. Yeah.

Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do. That's right. He actually did the satisfying thing where they played Chameleon in an overture at the start. And I think a lot of people, you know, like there was some heavy jazz in there where I was like, just, I trust you guys,

but I don't know what you're doing. At the end, yeah, at the end, they brought back chameleon and they closed on it. And you could feel in the room, everyone was like, I knows he knows that we need this David, can I ask you a question about jazz? Are you often? So that's why I'm here. Yeah, it is often when you get surrounded by something as a kid, you kind of like naturally have an aversion to it because it's sort of been foisted on to you.

What's your relationship to the genre? I thought jazz was a prank, Tim, until the age of maybe 15, just like being woken by scat singers or saxophone solos. This is my entire childhood. People using the word cat to describe other jazz musicians, men who'd been thrown out by their families asleep on the couch while I came down to watch the Flintstones. You know, this is the life of the son of a jazz musician. And then you know what?

It probably was, I think the gateway was actually Steely Dan, where I hated Steely Dan as well. And then my brother, my brother's bedroom backed on to the bathroom in the house I grew up in. And so you would hear whatever he was playing while you were bathing or whatever. And I remember thinking, shit, I think I might be starting to like this. Brothers are the gateways to your musical taste always. If you've got an older brother, yeah. What a beautiful version of sort of teenage angst.

It's like against your will becoming a Steely Dan fan. To this day, yeah, I'm horrifically annoying about Steely Dan. You know, I do know way too much about, but maybe I'm just one of those guys that gets too into things. You're allowed to like stuff. People got to kind of just be cool with that. You know, I, so Chelsea, my partner, Chelsea's dad is a jazz pianist, very talented jazz pianist. And he always, his favorite record to give people is Donald Fagan's, of Sealy Dan, Nightfly.

Yeah. He went so, and I'm sure you've done this, he went so deep into the different technical recording elements of the album. He think it gives the best oral representation of what your sound system is capable of. I love that. Yeah, Donald Fagan apparently got so lost in that recording he couldn't get a hi-hat sound that he liked so he ended up using an aerosol can. Someone just and he was like, that's the high hat that I'm looking for. Awful stuff. Awful facts inside this mind. David, the only other headline I've got to get you

as we progress forward is that our word of the day today brought to us by our sponsor, wordgenerator.com is Jere. J-E-E-R. Oh yeah. Wow. It's very appropriate because the reason I'm a tiny few moments late on this call is because Ireland have just beaten the mighty Finland in football, which so I mean, I guess as New Zealanders,

you've always been the best in the world at rugby. OK, we've never been the best at anything ever. Apart from a brief period in the 80s, we had the number one and number two cyclists in the world. Anyway, we've just been truly mediocre at football now for certainly 10 years and at halftime we were one nil down in Helsinki versus the awful Finns. And then we turned it around in part to the team were jeered off at halftime. Oh, no, they were. They were the Irish team were jeered off in Helsinki.

The there were 1100 Irish people went to Helsinki to watch the match to the year. It is not. Hold on. Did you say they were down by one point? Goal. Can you have a word guy? We won at the end and the only sound in the stadium granted of 15,000 people were the Irish people all singing low lie the fields of Athenry. So jeering was turned on its head and turned into the opposite of jeering. It's funny isn't it, because at a sports game say the fans could not like the performance of their team and jeer them and then in the second half it could turn around and the fans who jeered could almost feel a sense of responsibility or

take some share of the credit for being like they were so unhappy with us that we sort of really self-analyzed and turned our performance around. Say in our line of industry, comedy, it's very unusual to be jeered halfway through a show and then somehow be able to land the plane and be like to the audience. I've seen it once I think in my life and I was talking about it recently, Ray Badrin, when I was on one of the Melbourne kind of gallery things to kick off the festival and he was one of the drunkest people I've ever seen side of stage,

went on, I'm gonna try and get the wording perfect but it might be slight paraphrasing, but he goes on and says the words, I'm a big fan of repetition in comedy, I'm a big fan of it. And that is the only thing he said for six minutes and the incredible roller coaster of the audience response going from shock to amusement to disgust and anger back to hilarity and elation again. It was like we're watching a circus performer of decades of experience just whip a room into a frenzy. I watched that set from the audience and have it filed away as one

of my favorite comedy experiences. Really? It was unbelievable yeah. Because I so in the history of Irish theatre there's a few famous riots. It's not the most. So I was walking in East Village in New York a few years ago, and there's a plaque up which was the site of a famous theatre riot, which was at the time. OK, so we've got two things here. I'll tell you about this first. was at the time... Okay, so we've got two things here.

I'll tell you about this first. At the time, there was a difference in British Shakespeare where you... The acting technique was basically monologuing to the audience, but the American actors were actually acting with each other, where they would face each other. And the audience did not like the fact that the British guy did the British technique. There was a riot in which 24 people were killed.

And that's, the devil is really in that detail, isn't it? As to how that could, there's a famous riot after the opening night of The Plough and the Stars in 1925, I think in Dublin, and then I was once at an Arlo Hanlon and Neil Hamburger. So Neil Hamburger is a sort of anti-comedy, like bizarre, nihilist one liner guy and Arlo Hanlon is... Like Greg Turkenton in one of my faves. Amazing. But I wouldn't have put him on closing after an Ard Lohanlund show that would have brought in families that really enjoyed reruns of Father Ted.

And the audience separated into those who were horrifically offended and hated Neil Hamburger and then those who are antagonistically enjoying it, who would laugh with their teeth showing and then turn to the O'Hanlon stands as if to be like, ha ha ha ha. And all it would have taken was one swing. And that was the moment when I realized yes 24 people could die at a riot after Hamlet Incredible theater there who booked Neil hamburger to close that you should know Project after you heard about the theater riot

There's a hooliganism. It's a funny thing, isn't it? You think about what time does to our relationship to things. And I'm sure, I don't know if this is true, but you know, like there was a period when reading was revered as sort of, but you know, reading is considered a heightened form of culture or engaging with the world, right? Elevated above TV, which is ultimately sort of approaching a similar strategy where people now have the same respect for TV. I just think about theater now is like, you know, that's for fancy people who like going out to watch people make believe, but there's a time, culturally

speaking, it sounds like an island when it was like all of the people who couldn't get into the football game because they were priced out were heading down to the theatre to lose their fucking heads. Yeah. But there again, let's just move that lens back, Guy. And is what we do in the standup comedy that different? You know what I mean? It's someone standing on a stage, all these people have brushed their hair and

come out to see it. And you know, we are, we not actors who, who tread those boards. Oh, this is, I think Brandon Flowers of the killers put it best when he said, are we human or are we Mr. Brightside? David, you've got a new ish podcast that you've launched which is I love it so much a beautiful A beautiful concept and a beautiful tone to it You've recently had a good friend of ours Rose Matafeo as a guest on there. Do you want to tell us about the pod? Yes, it's no perfectly acceptable's perfectly acceptable. I'm sure as well. If you don't want to in all of this chat we've had so far, I've been carefully

talking about today and I don't allow any other podcasts to talk about yesterday because our podcast is called What Did You Do Yesterday? In which we make the guest, forensically is the good way of putting it, but tediously go through everything that happened yesterday from, yeah, so there's no you don't do any prep for it. There's no point. You don't need to know anything of your circumstances in life. I just want to know, like, what was the first smell you got when you woke up? What was the first thing you saw? I like it so much because I feel, do you know what? Listening to it has done, I feel like

it's normalized my life where I'm like, you know what? My days, they're not great, but they're fine. And I can met struck by guy how like the idea originally was it's going to be a low performance podcast in the world of high performance. This is what people's lives are actually like. And boy, we've had some real doozies from really successful people who are doing really, really well. Ellis James, who's like one of the most successful podcasters in Britain, spent over an hour trying to put a debit card on his phone on an otherwise really busy day. I think it was John Lennon that said, life is what happens while you're trying to put a debit card onto

a phone. That's right. It's, it's, uh, it's just, it's such a beautifully simplistic and pleasantly mundane and also very funny piece of company. I actually, you were describing it to me before it went out at the end of the Edinburgh Fringe, you said, I'm ready. I'm entering the, the, you know, the shark infested podcasting waters and get this, this is the premise and I thought you son of a bitch. They sit on the sidelines and then they just

wait for the right moment to insert themselves. Yeah. You guys have been farting around with your Linux operating systems, with your cursors. We have to put in six forward slashes and 12 semi-colons to before you can type your essay and I come along and I'm like, you're fluent in podcasts. You've got headphones on, you've got a microphone in a stand, you've got two hands free, you're, you are singing. David, I, I will tell you what I am struck by in all of these people. And I mean, we are just going through my friends at the moment,

cause we're still figuring out how to do it. So the best way to do it is thus far a frightening statistic. The personal connections you've made. These low value individuals I choose to spend all of my working hours with. I know. I have been on all of their stupid podcasts over the last 10 years. I'm calling in those favors, but thus far all of the guests with the exception of one have stayed in my spare room where I record the podcast.

So there's a nice DNA. The DNA is still lingering around. Yeah. What are they doing? You said David is, I don't know if people can see this. Uh, he's got bicycles occupying his spirit as opposed to people, because the reason you go into podcasting is that you were trying to launch a Pixar cars style concept for anthropomorphic bikes that never quite got off the ground.

Can I tell you about a bike that's directly behind me? And this will be so little. I know. Yeah. If there's some way of watching the listenership of this podcast. But I'll try and keep it interesting. Please. My hero is Steven Roach, who won the 1987 Tour de France.

And in the lockdown, I tried to part by part rebuild the bike that was a bike that was the same as the bike that he won. Because obviously all of this technology is out of date now. That's actually really cool. as the bike that he won, because obviously all of this technology is out of date now. Really cool. You can dig up all the bits on eBay, though. So it took 52 tiny parcels to come. And then I needed the frame, the actual scaffolding onto which you attach all these parts. I found this frame. It had a serial number under it and the name of Roach's team from the 1987 Tour

de France, so I contacted the factory, which is still there. And he said that's a 1987 Tour de France frame and it wouldn't be one of my heroes because he was a little shorter than this frame. But this bike was actually in the 1987 Tour de France. Not so boring now. You see, you thought I was about to stink up the joint with one of my bicycle tails. I will say this David, 52 tiny parcels,

that is an ironically massive carbon footprint to put a bicycle together. I'll also say this, do you think maybe the reason that your failed anthropomorphic bike concept didn't get off the ground is because It was a it's keep talking about the 1987 Tour de France I'm so glad you went back to this because okay the cat that I feel like the cars franchise rightly gets a lot of play on

Stand-up stages like it is if you kind of start to pick apart at what's going on in that universe Very bizarre and a little bit scary, bikes would be even weirder because like if you bring that to the, if you give that the car's treatment, are there humans on top of the bikes? Is it, and then so they kind of take a persona of sort of like a horse where it's like they're okay with it or is it a very put upon position? position or is it like cars with everything that's alive as a car and so you've got bikes that are riding on top of bikes which introduces kind of an interesting caste system almost to David you I mean you spend a lot of time thinking about this when you were developing the concept so why don't

you tell them I am I mean the difficulty is a car has clear eyes, the headlights, and mouth, the grille. Whereas thinking about a bike, it's hard to imagine any parts. I've got an idea. All the bikes look like sharks, so the eyes are on the side of the handlebars. I love you and I respect you guy. I can't believe you interrupted to throw that in. That's good. That's good. My, one of my first ever shows, I think I was more experimental in my early years. I didn't really know what I was doing. And I did a show in 2001 where I used to work in a bike shop. I fixed the audience's bikes live on stage.

All this good. Yeah, there was a discount. It was like seven euros in five euros if you bring a broken bike. But the problem is people who liked my work were so cheap ass they were like fishing bikes out of the canal, like bikes that would have taken hundreds of hours to repair and arriving with them to get the discount. So they're not only getting a cheaper ticket but they're getting the bike repair for free? Well if it it was feasible, I would have to come out beforehand

and pick three that I would do and people are really willing to talk about their bikes in a way that if you ask them personal stuff very often they'll clam up in a comedy situation. But everyone loves shitting on about their bikes and you know, I bought it off a nun or whatever bang There's ten minutes of interesting conversation. So yeah That could be a new strand of crowd work clips as you remount this show and your crowd workers you Working on and discussing the bike with someone in your audience. I would welcome that so hard because the current sort of trend, even I'm not on TikTok and I'm not on Instagram that much, but even just the little bits of, you know, short vertical

video that's getting through to me, the fucking proliferation of shit house crowd work and that has become like the predominant representation of stand up comedy at the moment. Yeah. Look, I know I'm getting older and whatever, but fuck it sucks. I hate it. It's so gross. I like the idea that in the bicycle repair version of it, though, it cuts to an audience

shot and similar to your cars slash bikes crossover the audience is all bikes. Just ringing their bells in approval? How do you boo as a bike if you were to jeer as an audience but you were a bike at a stand up show? You'd have to puncture a tire and it's the sound of the air going out. Yeah And it is so sacrificial to yourself that it is a real expression of disdain for the content of the show. Yeah, the cruelest irony is that you are forced to sit through the rest of the show. Like a worker bee that sacrifices its own body to attack you. That's what the bike is doing to show show displeasure with the stand-up show

Incredible. I like well, I reckon I gotta say we've been talking for almost an hour. This is our longest episode yet. Yeah You don't want to be one of those podcasts though, you know where it's like can you make it to the end? I don't think that's a good basis for this. I'm gonna cut it off just when we're getting a full head of steam. Leave them wanting more and more. David, thank you very much for joining us and especially for interrupting your sports watching

of the football. He finished it. This is how he celebrated that unlikely victory. Yeah, this is the post-match elation period. This is the post-match pint. Wear your cigarette in bed. Yeah, that's what I do. Famously after football, I go to bed and smoke a cigarette. Thank you very much, Tim. Thank you so much. And I cannot recommend enough. What did you do yesterday wherever you get your podcasts? Thanks guys Acas powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

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