The Worst Idea Of All Time - Hobbs and Shaw: The Melbourne Live Episode

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

What was Jesus up to on Easter? Is Hobbs and Shaw canon? Exactly how big is The Rock’s dick? Tim and Guy may not be able to agree on the answers to these eternal questions, but both can agree that the Fast-and-Furious affiliated Hobbs and Shaw is a pretty solid flick. This Melbourne live show, originally taped while deep in the trenches of Fast 8, finds the boyz pleasantly surprised by the film at hand. Tim further explores his complicated relationship with The Rock while trying not to fall afoul of the powers that be. Guy takes issue with the way the film’s tone has changed since Fast 8 before posing a shocking theory about the Idris Elba cinematic universe.Get event and livestream tickets for the TWIOAT 10th Anniversary Special at worstideaofalltime.com! On Feb 10th, exactly a decade after Tim and Guy's first viewing of Grown-Ups 2, the boyz return to Adam Sandler's 2013 opus for a night of reflection, revelry and regret at the Q Theatre in Auckland. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Hello, I'm not sure if I have lights on me or my voice is big Oh no, I am being amplified I feel like God Yeah man, you look okay too Thanks buddy, oh there we go there's lights well now there's heaps of lights on us and our voices are still amplified so now it's feeling very godly up here hello melbourne how are you are you feeling godly yeah Yeah, you guys. On this Easter Sunday. That's true. That's right.

What was Jesus doing right now? Do you remember? He was in the cave, right? Was he in a cave? He's up. Yeah, that's Monday. He's up. He's up.

They find out tomorrow. So Friday he gets nailed. They put him in the cave. Sleep. A little sleepy time. He he got nailed he slept it off and then the boulder gets rolled on today Sunday and then Monday

everyone finds out about it and they're like this is the guy we want to hang with I reckon today he's sort of like oh man I don't know if I want to go back out there I get the feeling these people don't like me that much I got a chance

for a fresh start I can get out luckily he didn't stick around for too long afterwards you went to a like Christian school

yeah I went to an Anglican do you know I went to an Anglican school for all 13 of my schooling years so you should know and I didn't retain anything

well I remember once the chaplain yeah yeah yeah we got some christian motherfuckers up in here but what i remember is the chaplain from my uh primary school he had a heart attack he died and then got brought back to life and came back to chapel the next week and he was like what's up i seen god and everyone was like everyone was like no man you saw paramedics you're fucking lucky did he did you know like how dead was he did he did he was he was dead for like a minute that's so sick man i always hear stories about that and i don't know if it is reflecting the fact that we need like new terminology for that because like if you're dead you know you should that should be final reserve that term for people who aren't coming back but people like i was dead for 12 minutes and it's like well i don't you're here telling me about

it so i don't know if that's the case yeah but mostly dead yeah mostly dead it's sort of i mean there's this whole other thing i like this guy on the front row. He's part of the show now. This is great. Hey, so folks. Wait. In that sentence, is mostly an adjective or an adverb? Ah, adjective. You don't dead, you don't deading.

You know, he, she, we dead. That doesn't work. I am deading right now. Yeah, you wouldn't say that, would you? No. Mr. Fucking Duke, you're giving me so much beef on the spelling bee. Your grammar is terrible. I'm not fucking explaining grammatical concepts up there.

I'm just assigning words to idiots like you. Did anyone, just by round of applause, did anyone see the spelling bee that Guy did that I was on a couple of weeks ago? That was like an invigorating experience of getting so bullied by Guy in his dojo, like a full room that he had brought people into and then just fucked me up.

It was like Fight Club. It was like getting beaten in the face. It was like, this is new. This is exciting. Honestly, it was so nice. It's nice to have like a framework in which to bully you and it's been

do you know what I'll say this you know obviously we've watched a film and actually for context some of you I imagine have been brought here

and you don't know what the fuck this is shout out to all the partners oh on an easter sunday man that is rough i don't know how many people that applies to but that's that's a rough use of it make some noise if you have no idea why you're here or who we are it's not a bad turnout it's pretty good it's more than zero i I wouldn't do it. I would not do it. If someone was like,

you're going to come to this podcast, and I'd be like, what's the concept? And they'd explain, I'd be like, you have fun, but I don't need that. Tell me about it afterwards. I've got a whole Sunday to look forward to.

I don't need this. Hard out. But anyway, we're here, and we're so grateful that you're here. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much, King. But what I wanted to say,

before we get into the weeds of discussing this non-canonical, but still very important, Fast and the Furious spin-off. Just because you keep saying it doesn't make it true. It's non-canon. It is canon. Joseph Moore told us. Joseph Moore done no shit.

I've been on the Wikipedia page. It's not canon. Is it? Well, I don't know. Someone might have written it. I don't want to talk about yeah i want to say i've had such a nice time being in melbourne with you yes i mean i really have do you know and the other day because nearly always this work and you messaged me actually you said what are you doing today and then before i could even reply you said in all caps i am not going to ask you to work. I am messaging you as a friend. I did.

Because I had to. Because I know the feeling that that message from me must elicit. Because you've been going hectic, man. You're doing so many shows over here. You're doing all sorts of stuff. And then you get a message from Timbo going, hey, what are you doing right now? Have you got a microphone in your mouth right now?

Because you fucking should, you dog. And so so what we did we went together and we lay down uh in the fitzroy gardens and it was i mean you got some good gardens in the city if those gardens were in new zealand that'd be like the main feature and here they're just some fucking throwaway gardens in between other landmarks and it was so i felt so connected to you tim and i love you like a brother and i'm uh i'm i'm i am i'm sorry that we have to talk about the movie now hey it's okay i've had a fantastic time hanging out with you um i'm i'm i'm out of here in like 36 hours on a plane back home yeah you'll be your city is tremendous and now to the topic at hand, Fast and Furious presents Hobsonshaw. Yeah.

So for the six or so uninitiated in the room, Tim and I are currently, we're reviewing the Fast and the Furious franchise backwards and with a descending number of views that correspond to when the movie was released in the franchise so that means we've we've done fast nine nine times fast eight eight times seven seven six and so on and so forth and the only way to do the live show was to do something which was i would say non-canonical so a movie that exists in the universe but it's not it's not canon and you could ask anyone that

you could ask anyone who's familiar with the intellectual property and they'll tell you this shit is not canon. And so today I went around to Tim's Airbnb in North Melbourne and I scaled some very narrow wooden steps. They're crazy, yeah. And I almost knocked myself out on quite a low beam. Yeah, I forgot to warn you about that. Sorry.

And then we lay down in Tim's bed and we watched Hobbs and Shaw, which it's a long time to be lying down and awake. Two hours and 20 minutes. We did the whole credit sequence too, which we don't always do, but there were Easter, I mean, talk about an Easter treat.

There were Easter eggs strewn throughout the names of the stunt coordinators and catering companies. We were on our own little Easter egg hunt. That's right. In the credit sequences. And, you know, I'm proud of us. I think I got home last night at like four. My man. What makes you so cool?

How do you do it? I was born this way, baby. Can't develop what I've got. Who else was born this way? Lady Gaga. She was born that way. She was. You guys have made of the same stuff.

I reckon The Rock was as well. I reckon he came out of the womb like that. The Rock was born different. He's different. He's built different. So. He carries himself different. He's built different. So... He carries himself different. Let me... How big?

Go on. Relative to his body, how big does his cock look? You can juice up your chest, you can juice up your arms and legs, but you cannot get your cock musclier than it already is. It would get lost on that canvas it would look like a smudge you'd be trying

to get it off you'd be trying to get it off because it's interrupting yeah because you'd be like this is yeah yeah this is

ruining the thing because everything else is to scale yeah and then he's just got a man's penis you ever think about that Jason Statham

he'd have a good looking cock he really would it would be perfectly to scale and I reckon he'd shave his pubes to have that five o'clock stubble

yeah you know like a great instance of the AstroTurf matching the AstroTurf I guess I don't know

yeah like his cock and balls are also British. There's something very British about pubic stubble, I think. What? So you're just going to choke me until I spew? That's his cock. When he goes to masturbate, that's what his cock says to him.

I don't know about all that. Is he trying to get his hand on it and his balls are doing like kung fu on his fingers? Swinging around? All right around Alright well since we're here So you You talking about The Rock's penis Do you reckon he juices? What? Roids?

Yeah It's hard to imagine he doesn't That messes with your junk long term No one can look like that I think And avoid roids the whole time. And also, I think there's no reason to avoid roids unless you're in the Olympics. And last time I checked, The Rock is not an Olympian. No, yeah.

He doesn't have that on his... So I reckon I'm backing you as SmudgeCon. Oh, you think it's not even... And it's not even just the size he was born with. You think it's getting... Is that truly what happens on steroids? I think... I don't...

Yeah. I should probably start taking steroids then. The size he was born with You think it's getting Is that truly what happens on steroids? I think I don't Yeah I should probably start taking steroids then Alright Alright Monty Okay He's all excited for the big show Head full of steam This is a huge opportunity for me

He's gone off book There are six people we can convince we're funny right now I liked this movie I'm not going to disagree with you Tim It is a welcome departure from the Fast and the Furious universe Do you want to know why? They've got real music in it Actual fucking songs there's one

bit where uh we'll explain the plot in just one moment but they reference kind of in a um what is it from where it's like a heist movie and they name it after celebrities like the difference oh oceans 11 they do it like old hollywood celebs I think it's a bit of a trope in the heist genre and so Shaw has these series of set ups that he's developed

as a child with his sister yeah yeah and the next one of them are Keith Moon and they got the rights to The Who and they played The Who and I'm like

what the fuck is this a good movie yeah are you shitting me it's it was jarring to hear like a song that you already know

in this exciting new context. I mean, it's not a shock they had the money to get the rights to The Who. The budget for the movie was $200 million. I think

what's more What's more remarkable is the refusal for other Fast and Furious movies to use, like they continue to insist on using the score that I assume Vin Diesel's daughter composed. Shots fired. Shouldn't do anything to you, man.

But it was interesting because they've got a move called the Keith Moon, which is like explosions of percussion. So it's a lot of explosives and there's a lot of noise. You know what that's about, eh? Because Keith Moon was the drummer no because he used to put pyrotechnics on the drum kit

and apparently one time he put fucking way too much in and blew himself up I did not know that are you making that up no that's real that's true

and that's what they'll be he lived a life innit yeah because he was he 27 club yeah he died young and he was the one who like drove a car

into a hotel pool it was either him or Brett McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords historians to this day continue to debate but they had another one they have another set up

so it's a trope twice in the movie they've got the Keith Moon and it's told in flashback where you see young Jason Statham and his sister doing the Keith Moon and then later on

in the movie they go and the Mick Jagger and you're like fuck I can't wait to see what Rolling Stones song they use. They don't play any Rolling Stones. They just have something called the Mick Jagger in silence, it would seem. And it's fucked up. It's stupid. It's a nasty tease.

You would have to think that they wrote, shot, got the film completed, and then the producers were like, it's going to cost fucking how much? No, no, no, no, no. Because, and to credits, but you can see where they spend a lot of the money and I believe they called action sequences This movie is not light on those has anyone here just so we know who's familiar seen Hobbs and Shaw That's not many those are the same people who haven't heard of us That's not many. Those are the same people who haven't heard of us. So for the rest of you, I don't know how familiar people are

with the Fast and the Furious franchise, but Hobbs and Shaw, it takes place between... Do you want to do a one-minute plot? Okay, sure. I'll time you. It takes place between Fast 8... This is set and setting. Between Fast 8 and Fast 9.

And it stars The Rock and Jason Statham. You want me to do it? You ready? Yeah. And go. There's a sexy woman who's an MI6 agent and she's trying to get a virus. But Idris Elba in some sort of crazy suit that gives him superpowers stops her. And so she injects the virus into herself and runs away.

And then The Rock and Jason Statham wake wake up and they have different mornings but the same morning and then they're told they have to work together by ryan reynolds and rob delaney to retrieve the vital to recover the woman and retrieve the virus before idris elba can get it and then everyone's finding the woman and everyone and they're trying to get the virus out and idris elba's on their tail 30 seconds and Well, then they go to Samoa, and they have a big fight, and they use traditional Samoan weapons, and the good guys win.

Tidy. Three o'clock, 40 seconds. There are some other stuff I left out, but that's the broad strokes. That's the cut and thrust of it. Yeah. And, you know, that was surprisingly efficient. Do you know what the secret is? You don't get the cut and thrust of it. Yeah. And, you know, that was surprisingly... Do you know what the secret is?

You don't get bogged down in the weeds. Yeah. Look at the flowers up the top. You don't need to look at the weeds. It's sort of our job to get bogged down in the weeds, though. That's sort of what we get to do. Oh, yeah, conversationally, we'll now get into the weeds. The meta plot is that Idris Elba is part of a sort of global conspiracy of techno...

I don't want to call't call them utopians there was a lot that made this movie feel unique from fast and the furious movies and the villain's exposition and the like care and detail applied to the backstory yeah and it's like this is marvel sort of or traditional superhero photo where it's like there is a logical entry point to believe that the villain has a genuine reason for what they're doing they're not doing it just because they want to create carnage he's doing it because he thinks it's it's i think follow tonally a similar thing to winter soldier and i say that as someone who has never seen winter soldier but based on tim's got great instincts for this stuff though everything i hear and feel and vibe about Winter Soldier, I'm like, yeah, that's what's playing out here.

What's Winter Soldier? Captain America. Who's that? What do you mean? He's an Avenger. Oh, okay. It's in the... Are they in Marvel?

Yeah, it's Marvel stuff. You've seen a Marvel, right? Yeah, I thought those guys were DC. Is he friends with the Elastic Man? They're DC. what have you seen uh have you seen an avengers who's in who's in those ones like everyone that's sort of the point the point is it's all of them so you've got they all come together who are the stars tell me the actors names oh shit oh robert downey jr yeah i've seen him yeah yeah sweet okay so i see him around scarlett johansson yeah i went to her one

she had her whole lone one you went to that one whoa yeah i don't know why how was it it was all was alright. I didn't totally get... I didn't get it. She looks after herself, though. She looks good, that Scarlett Johansson. It has been said. She's not in this movie, Hobbs and Shaw. No, no. None of those superheroes are.

I can see her in Fast and Furious. Idris Elba's character, he used to work with Jason Statham in the army, and then he went rogue, and he teamed up with a company called etienne yeah it was similar to etihad well no i think so the etians uh this like cabal of uh elites that are trying to well they're using a virus to wipe out humanity to rebuild them as like supercomputers android cyborgs at one point Idris Elba's a cyborg in this which

fucking rules yeah he's like you said he got his powers from his suit in the plot synopsis which I'll exclude

because you were running against the clock but really he's Robocop they made Robocop Idris Elba yeah so fly

at last a black Robocop am I right about time at last I checked it's 2023 you know I think they should make Idris Elba Yeah So flop At last a black Robocop Am I right? About time So last I checked It's 2023 You know I think they should make

A dog Robocop I think that exists What's it called? Robodog I think that's a thing Canine Canine And it's spelt

K and nine I'll bet Yeah yeah Have you seen it? It's Doctor Who Hold on Nerd alert Hold on I'll bet yeah yeah have you seen it it's Doctor Who hold on nerd alert what a wrestle control back from the audience

these are smart people they know what's up true they know a lot about theology and the movie Canine do you know does anyone know about oh yeah anyway

we walked past the Melbourne Theosophical Society does anyone know what goes on in there Oh, anyway, where I was going with that. We walked past the Melbourne Theosophical Society. Does anyone know what goes on in there? I asked people for what the word means and no one knew. I fucking watched a YouTube video about it like six months ago and I cannot remember. Is it like Theosophical Philosophy?

Is that like a pan-religious Kind of humanist bent They believe in Not humanist Okay Humans are bad No one knows No one knows No one's been allowed in

It's a nice building Here's what I was thinking right Okay I'm seeing this cabal Called the Eteans And I'm like It's fucking Eton Because it's British

This is the elite private UK school that births all the prime ministers. It's like nine out of 10 British prime ministers come from this one school. And I'm like, someone had some fucking fun with this script because it's about people who secretly control the world called Etonians. Yeah. Right. Etonians. And this is pretty fucked up.

When did this movie come out? 2017? 2019. It's pretty fucking COVID-y, dudes. Like, the virus is called CT17. It's developed in a lab. And they want to, like... Okay?

Buy the elites. To be spread globally and robocop is in charge of the whole fucking thing or he's their weapon we actually don't know who the guy in charge is but my money's on ryan reynolds you know what i looked it up you are not wrong ryan reynolds keanu Reeves was in negotiations to do the voice of the supercomputer in charge of Etienne but Ryan Reynolds worked a double shift

so it's not the character that Ryan Reynolds plays in the movie that's what they fucking want you to think he's the voice he does the voice it's him

it's the fucking character but he's credited under a different name like Chippy Sweetness or something so in that family you laugh it's in that family

I didn't laugh they laughed you never laugh. No. I was so stoked to see... There's a lot of cameos in this as per... This is what Fast and Furious movies do. The star power in Hobbs and Short...

There's a few reasons why I think it hits harder than a Fast and Furious movie. Namely, it just feels less self-serious. They have better music. It's packed with stars. And the star power feels more because you recognize the stars from movies that exist outside

of the Fast and the Furious franchise. And that cannot be said for the Fast and the Furious franchise. So all of these actors, they've created this whole fucking ecosystem that they just, you know, they would do them without anyone watching, I believe. Your experience of a cameo

is like Vin Diesel's in this one he's fucking from Fast and Furious yeah yeah that's what I say every time we watch a Fast and Furious

he's back for another extended cameo roll call who do we see we see Ryan Reynolds comes real early Rob Delaney Rob Delaney

Helen Mirren yeah she's in some prior ones though I think but yeah but she's cameo prior ones, though, I think. But yeah, but she's cameoing. This is true. Now, we were so fucking delighted to see Cliff Curtis show up as the Rocks brother.

Very cool. You should clap. Thank you very much. New Zealand's own. He's got the range, man. He's got the range, Cliff Curtis. He rocks. Equatorial range.

Equatorial, that's right. He can play someone from any continent and never be accused of cultural appropriation. That's talent. I've tried it. It was the day before we've been at smartphones when I got away with it. How'd it go?

Well, I wasn't popular on set. Cliff Curtis is The rock's brother in this and the whole third act of this movie feels like a whole other movie bolted on and I kind of fucking love it when movies do that. They're just like, let's just fucking do something else. You guys are probably bored.

It's a classic thing when they basically finish the movie and they're like, we need another problem. So we travel to Samoa and we find out that the Rock copped his own dad, which in my mind makes him a big villain. You're using some sort of criminal slang

when you say copped his own dad. Oh, yeah, sorry. So his dad was like, it sounded to me like kind of a low-level crime, but then he sipped the police onto his own dad and that estranged him from his family which is why he had to leave some more and never come back yeah but that's a sick back story and they're kind of review it's like the fact that the rock signed up to the X I know he changes a lot of his characters he doesn't like certain

aspects and speaks to what a little bitch he is in real life that he he's like yeah that's a cool guy that I want to play. A guy who fucking narked on his own dad. His dad could have been a bit mean. Everyone's dad's a little bit mean. Your dad's lovely. He's super lovely. Super lovely guy.

Has he been mean to you before? Surely. He's a dad. You have to. Have you been mean to your toddler surely he's a dad you have to have you been me have you been mean to your toddler not yet but i will why what do you mean why why would you do why would you do that because you'll need it when he gets older but he hasn't he doesn't he hasn't needed you're gonna make him steal a car you wouldn't steal a car? You wouldn't steal a car.

But Remy might. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, well, it depends. It's contextual. I wouldn't get mad at him just for stealing a car. It depends what led up to it, you know? He was bored. So The Rock is estranged from his family.

And they like, so yeah, we've kind of glossed over a lot of it. What now? Go ahead. I just want to say there's another cameo. There's a few. There's a big one we left out. On the plane, Jason Statham and The Rock are doing, they're doing this extended back and forth where they're going. Oh, fucking Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 style.

Yeah, yeah, they're going, well, I'm like this and you're like that. And he goes, well, no, you're actually more like this and I'm like that. And they're going on and on. And then they're like, do you know what this scene needs? Kevin Hart. And Kevin Hart. They weren't wrong. He's just sitting in front.

He turns around. He's an air marshal. And literally the most famous comedian in the world, Tim goes, now who's that guy? No, no, no. I didn't say who's that guy. I think it was a reflection of how much, how hydrated my brain was at the time.

I was like, what's his fucking name again? And you said, it's Kevin. Dave Chappelle. It's Kevin Hart. He's basically the most famous person in the world which is fucking true and it was fun to see him all of the cameos

were well deployed because they didn't overstay their welcome yeah he was in it for yeah yeah the

you don't like The Rock nah did you like did you did any did you enjoy The Rock's company at all during this movie

I know you love Stath. Love Stath. And the appearance of Stath has necessitated The Rock being there to make it happen, so I'll forgive it. But any bit that The Rock's in without Stath, I'm like, fuck, this scene needs to be cut. Get rid of this dialogue.

If I think about this movie relative to the other Fast and the Furious movies we've watched which I mean you know it's in the nature of the project

quite fun initially yeah and then eventually quite exhausting that's true I was sort of taken by how much more

this felt like a traditional movie like how I was enjoying the world of Hobbs and Shaw it's it's fucking quintessentially us that there's one movie nestled in this franchise which is actually halfway decent

it's like yeah that's the one we're gonna do a one-off yeah well that's what i was thinking i was watching i was it feels very odd that um we would do a podcast after just basically hanging out watching a movie together it always feels like it's meant to be harder than this. Yeah, yeah. It's a bit of a luxury item. It was. And that's why it's just a one-off special treat, Monty. Don't get used to it.

Don't get too comfy with that bathwater. You wait until we watch Fast and the Furious 1. Or I believe in... They just call that Fast and the Furious. One time, though. Yeah, I know. Like it's good, but... We're going to be on a fucking bottle rocket by the end of this season.

You know that? 100%. It's going to be on a fucking bottle rocket by the end of this season. You know that? 100%. It's going to be sliding through. I feel like we've forgotten another cameo that's in there too. No. Well, we haven't mentioned the woman who plays the MI6 agent

who's... I don't know the actor's name. Vanessa Kirby. Tim does though. You looked it up for me and have forgotten it since doing so. I just remembered that the character is called Hattie.

Yeah. And she's fucking cool. She is cool. Well, yeah. She was cool as hell. She makes some interesting choices, though. Like what? I don't know.

There's some lines she delivers. Because her whole thing is she states brother right, so she's like uber cool and hyper capable, but then some lines she's like, what's going on here? Well, yeah, because you know how woman be. They do have a scene where she's shopping for half an hour and it's like this doesn't need to be here she's got a she's got a live virus in her he teases but you know do you think hobson shore is a reflection of society

that's your next question my answer is yes a thousand times is that what the world's like of a stronger cultural metaphor for the times we live in than fast and furious presents hobs and sure tell me all about it show me you're working well last time i started talking about man-made viruses the audience got pretty uncomfortable about it. Do you know what your earlier question about did I enjoy any bits with The Rock in it? I liked when he went home to Samoa and seeing his brother hate him. That was cool.

And just getting a bit of context. Well, it's boring to have a character who's just... Because The Rock is Superman, right? And Superman is fucking boring, because he can just, oh, he can fly, and he's got laser vision,

and he can see through walls, and he's like, invincible. Lame. And also, I think that, I think that the broader issue, which is what they transplant onto The Rock,

in these movies, is also infallible. Yeah. Like, there's no, there's no complexity, there's no depth. He's just, he's a great single dad.

He's a great agent. Yeah. He's a friend to all. Everyone loves him. He's got these quippy lines that people enjoy, but are actually turd lines. They're bad things that he says. Wish I'd written some down,

but just take my word for it, folks. They're bad. And I, like, Ryan Reynolds delivers all of his lines with this cadence that he has in every movie because he knows what he can do and he does it did you write something I wrote I sent it some some of them to you on Facebook messenger yeah guys gotten into the habit of using our messenger exchanges as notes app it was like send me like a couple of words about what's this he's like don't worry about it's for later on I actually I just changed

from Samsung to Apple and I didn't know how to get like all of the Samsung notes over so I literally copied and pasted

my entire comedy festival show and sent it to Tim in Messenger and it was like just ignore that it's my show and then I performed it and I killed.

I mean, they're good jokes. So, no, at the start, when they're doing the, they both, there's a split screen to establish that they're the same but different at six o'clock, which I talked about in my 40 second summary of the plot. But eventually they go through their mornings. Jason Statham's drinking a beer. He's had a one night stand. The Rock's having an egg smoothie and helping out his daughter or whatever. They both eat eggs, which I like. Because in some ways they're different, but in

other ways, they both like eggs. Absolutely. And you can't beat nine eggs in the morning for high quality. We are also, sorry, in addition to Universal sponsoring this season, we're now in the pocket of Big Egg. And we're so happy to be there. We've we've been told to...

We're in the cloaca of Big Egg. Yeah, yeah. We've been told to call it the shell inside of the cloaca. We're on the inner sanctum of the egg. But eventually in that day, they both come to fight some bad guys because they're independent of knowing

why they're looking for the virus. And The Rock, when he comes across the bad guys, he says to them, this is his line, which is an example of the dog turd lines. He says, I'm an ice cold can of whoop-ass. And you just think, fuck off, fuck off.

I mean, I feel you on this. Everything he says and does is optimized to reach the broadest number of people. Yes, exactly. on this like everything he says and does is optimized to like reach the broadest number of people yes exactly and that i hate that uh territory culturally of just super broadness because it's it's this boring kid-friendly place where like art dies and creativity and i feel like the rock is the king of that space and i hate hated about it. But conversely, because you texted me this, so I know you wrote it down. What states, so states has a quippy line as well. Well, he goes in, he's in like, he's in the champagne room at a bar.

And he says- He refers to himself as- A champagne problem. And it's not bad. That's cool. It's like, what does it mean? It's so like, I kind of get the vibe. Even better, he lops the top of a champagne bottle

and pushes, like, from the jagged end up into someone's neck. You're wrong. I was wondering why you reacted so... And then he slams the bottle into their neck. It's fully closed. It's unopened. It's just a blunt force trauma, which is still bad. Nah, nah, nah.

Because then at the end he's holding it and he said... It's only a blunt force trauma which is still bad because then at the end he's holding it and he said it's only cool if you're lacerating arteries fucking coward but anyway a champagne problem is is definitely like a little line i could see myself saying later on you can't carry it i absolutely you can't carry it i can't but it's it's cool. I feel... It's exciting. Before we were talking about that,

there was something I wanted to get into about... I can't remember. Was it to do with The Rock and Samoa? You were talking about The Rock. No, after Samoa, you were talking about where art goes to die. Yes. I can't believe it.

Where everyone agrees it's the most boring place. That's The Rock. That's why he's going to be the president. Oh, no, this is what I wanted to talk about do you think and it's independent of the oscars slap but you know how like will smith was the king of the box office he was the most beloved charismatic actor like he was number one a1 superstar yeah and then eventually there was just a point of exhaustion of the world sort of tired of him it's no one really turned on him they just became disinterested and he chose he tried to diversify his acting portfolio,

maybe choose projects that weren't as... purported blockbusters that weren't as popular. Is there going to be a tide change against The Rock? Is The Rock a Scientologist? Does anyone know? Does anyone know if The Rock has... Do you know Tom Cruise wouldn't let The Rock be a Scientologist? Well, you know Will Smith's a huge Scientologist, right?

Wait, isn't he? Have I made that up? He is, eh? Yeah. What are they up to, the Scientologists? We got any in? Dog, honestly? You know I talk a lot of shit about a lot of people in this podcast.

I do not want to fuck with them. That shit's real, man. I don't want to get into that. Are they the Illuminati basically really are they here are they everywhere

do we we've got them in Auckland dog I'm going to send you a Wikipedia article after this because I can't remember the name of it but they conducted this operation in the 80s

I think where they and it's like historic because they were the most successfully infiltrated every area of the US government and there was like the judicial the executive it was fucking crazy and are they still there probably aye you're not actually comfortable talking about this no man

because I don't think anyone else would bother to get me, but like, you know, they seem like petty and widespread. They don't like people

talking shit about them. They really don't. Fuck Scientologists. And that's the policy of both Tim and Guy on the worst idea of all time. Yeah, right on. I don't know if The Rock's in there.

But, I mean... He's like, you know, he could be there. Whether he is or isn't, do you think... You know, we're talking about how he's always going... We're supposed to be talking about Hobson Shaw, but Gal... The broadest possible audience. Is there going to be a tide change against The Rock? Are people going to get sick of his shtick?

Yeah, yeah, it's happening right now. Is it actually? The Black Adam stuff. What did he do? Fuck. See, this is like me and Winter Soldier. I don't fucking have all the... You've not watched the movie?

Absolutely not. Let's talk about it then. I thought you saw it at Shazam. I saw the movie Shazam when it came out a while ago. But not Shazam 2? No, no, no. Okay. I don't have to collect all of them. I just the movie Shazam when it came out a while ago. But not Shazam 2? No, no, no. Okay. I don't have to collect all of them.

I just go randomly. Yeah, nice. It's kind of a cool way to go. Yeah, because I lived my whole life. So I don't have to fucking see all the Marvel movies because I'm not an idiot. Yeah, nice.

Get their ass. You're going to have some big hitters on this episode, man. Yeah. Fuck Marvel and fuck Scientology yeah you got it yeah and Cliff Curtis if he wants to do

any accent I give him permission he can do that I want to meet him I would love to tell him I saw sam neill in a bookshop about six months ago did you yeah and i said man i love what you do and he he didn't want any part of it yeah fair that's fair i totally agree cool cool to share a space with him though you know i was quite taken by him he's fair enough yeah yeah That's a man with mana He can do all the accents too

I give him I give him permission as well Interesting In fact Tim I give you permission To do some accents I think if you want to do A Chinese accent right now

That's your call But I give you permission Cool as man Good to know Good to know I'll be keeping that permission Firmly in my back pocket Where it will stay

unused and barely acknowledged you can even do it in your show tonight without the context of this you could just do that if you wanted you could do that

thanks man really appreciate you wow people say I don't give but I give Cliff Curtis rules and he feels slightly like like he

he's he occupies for me he's too good for the movies like Helen Mirren, you see her turn up and you're like really? Okay. Cliff Curtis rocks up I'm like but you're a fucking Do you know what? They're allowed to have fun though He's in a lot of action movies too

And it's a fun one for them For Cliff Curtis, if I look at it from Cliff Curtis' perspective, this script comes across my desk and they've already filmed two thirds of the movie and they're like hey Cliff

we need to film a whole other third of a movie we just found out you're the star it's in Samoa you're acting opposite The Rock

and he'd be like fucking A I go to Samoa I get to act against The Rock I get to punch him in the face and he falls down

a flight of stairs I fucking hate that guy I'll sign up you know because i reckon the rock would allow so few people to do that to him in a movie to actually like lay him out but that's the kind of respect that cliff curtis commands can i say something i found to be totally inconsistent between fast eight and hobson sure i'd love for you to point this out so in in Fast Eight, the gang all have to work together. And they have to work with Jason Statham, who had historically been a villain in the Fast and the Furious universe in Fast Seven. And they also work together.

And the Rock and Jason Statham are having a bit of back and forth. They really don't like each other. They hate each other's guts because of what's happened in Fast Seven. But eventually, due to circumstance, they have to work together. And they become quite chummy. They even say to each other you know what in a different time if we work together we're gonna kick some ass sewing the seeds for a spin-off non-canonical hobson shore and then at the start of hobson shore we see them both living their lives independent of each other and the setup for the movie is you know they're talking to the rock

brian reynolds is talking to the rock and he's like you're the only one who can do this we need you to save the day and they're always like okay and he's like and we're gonna get you a partner and he's like i work with a partner and they're like you're gonna need this partner and i said the same thing to jason statham rob delaney says the same thing and then they get together yeah and they immediately go back to where their relationship was at the start of fast eight even though there's an entire movie inside of the cinematic universe in which they mend that bridge and actually start working where their relationship was at the start of Fast 8, even though there's an entire movie inside of the cinematic universe in which they mend that bridge

and actually start working together and even openly opine to one another and the audience that they'd make quite a formidable team. Then the entire first half of their time working together, they are still fighting with one another as though they didn't show us in the last half of Fast 8 that they're actually teammates already. And we're not meant to ask fucking questions about that. I can tell you're worked up about this. they didn't show us in the last half of Fast 8 that they're actually teammates already. Yeah.

And we're not meant to ask fucking questions about that. I can tell you're worked up about this. I think it's like when you haven't seen... Do you know what it is? Like sometimes when you've got a particular relationship with a sibling and when you like first get back together with them, you just revert to the sort of default and then when you hang out for a while,

you get cool again. But if you, you know, then you're apart for a week and then you come back together and you go out for a while you get cool again but if you you know then you're apart for a week and then you come back together you go back to default I gotta deal with you again it's like that

I reckon so they had this opportunity of this whole movie by the way takes place over the course of 48 hours which is that's the run time

it's shot like 24 yeah they had gone for kind of a 24-esque. I mean, it's obviously not in real time, but it's a very limited window. And they really fucking throw it in and out a lot. The thing that pissed me off the most,

which I think speaks to how much better this movie is than all the other Fast and Furiouses we've seen, which is two. A lot, though. Vanessa Kirby's face She gets scarred She gets like She gets fucked up She gets bloodied

And she gets scars It's so petty of you To care about this And then it's gone Between scenes And then she gets bruised And battered again And then she's perfect again

And I'm like But there's a fucking Like timer strapped to her So we know This is all going on Within a day Yeah And it's

And then when we're in Samoa The start of the action sequence Happens when it. Yeah. And then when we're in Samoa, the start of the action sequence happens when it's... Dawn. Dawn. And then, like, no shit, because you can map it out because they've provided a stopwatch for you.

Eight minutes later, it's the middle of the day, and they're all exteriors. I'm like, just fucking don't start the thing at dawn. There would have been a very tired colour gradist being like... Imagine me on continuity, just thing at dawn. There would have been a very tired colour greatest being like... Imagine me on continuity, just screaming at him. And they're like, Tim, no one's going to care, dude.

This is a you problem. And you're like, you've got no idea I've got plans for this franchise. I don't want to have to stare down my mistake. I didn't... I mean, that didn't... You didn't care. Well, it's just you know it's a it's a i didn't care well it's just a it's it happens to both of us in different places where it's like to me it's a very odd thing to get hit up about it's like oh what the scarring was inconsistent between scenes because i was

following along using the journey of her face her face tells a tale because we first see her and she's this like flawless supermodel and then she gets banged up which represents the vulnerability of the seemingly invulnerable character but then they erase that by having her flawlessly made up again and then they fuck her up again and they wear it on her face and then they fucking clean her up again i'm like what am i supposed to believe hobson shore you're supposed to believe in believe in the healing power of this human body. Have you seen a kid with a graze? Yeah.

It heals so fast. The way people are laughing, that sounded a lot worse than it was meant to. I was like, I could get into it. But what's so nice is I feel like they're doing the work for me tonight. It's just so good. It's so good. I don't graze kids.

And so long as we're starting words with G, I don't groom them either. So you can stop talking your shit. The Scientologists and Marvel are running a smear campaign against Guy Montgomery. Oh, shit. Oh, did you have a shining light for this whole damn flick?

I liked... I kind of liked... It was still too long. But I did kind of enjoy the whole thing. Wow. No, I can't. I'm not going to. I'm not going to.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I'm applauding you. I'm applauding the filmmakers. All right, mate. I did write something down. If I go into, I actually did use, after you called me out, I did use another notes app.

And the line I liked the best, the best one was, and it was in the middle of one of these exhausting tete-a-tetes when they're doing really poorly written comic jibes at each other about their appearance or their nature between The Rock and Jason Statham. And at one point when they're on the plane, before we meet Kevin Hart, the Air Marshal,

Jason Statham says to The Rock, why don't you be a good elephant and suck up a kilo of peanuts? That made me laugh out loud. That was one of, I think, like two true lols for me. That was fucking awesome. Yeah.

Because, so the, Stath is kind of a genius in the franchise and so he's set them up with disguises because now like the global police are onto them because the disguises because now like the global police are onto them

because the ETN have like this movie's pretty fucking wild guys they're in charge of the media in this world the ETN's

the bad guys they control the whole global they're trying to spread this virus right and turn everyone into cyborgs this isn't Tim

okay this is the fucking I know it sounds very Tim, but this is the movie, okay? So they're trying to wipe everyone out with this virus turning them into cyborgs. I didn't quite get that.

Did you get that? Get what? The connection between the virus and the robot thing. I think my guess would be, and I would have to guess because I don't get it, that people who get the virus would get sick.

But if you choose to team up with the artificial intelligence people who don't get sick, maybe. There was some lines about how it could be programmed to target certain DNA. I don't know what that was all about. It sounds like eugenics. Yeah, it does. Which would track with Eaton.

And we are against... Anti-eugenics. That's right. I get confused. On one side of the ledger, we have Jason Statham, and on the other, we have Scientology, Eugenics, and The Rock. Okay. If we could just finish masturbating and take care of the other bad guys,

Jason Statham would be a great hero for us. I can't believe you brought that back. We're so far away from it I just thought it was such a clever thing to say I even shut my eyes to remember how it felt when I said it

so Your Shining Light was the scene where Statham has set them up with fake identities he's gotten them plane tickets and the Rock's complaining

because he doesn't he's not in an exit row for his massive physical and he says won't you be a good outfit and suck up a kilo of peanuts and go to sleep or something i thought that was tight by the way i've also got a theory i want to run past you after you've done your shining light oh i too kind of enjoyed the whole i mean like it's sort of a cop out but hearing the who in a fast and furious movie was fucking cool. It was great. It was good. Yeah. Put music in these fucking movies, guys.

If I got a Fast X and it's just wall-to-wall shitty film score compositions again, I'm going to be disappointed. They've got, because we're learning as we watch more of these movies that they've got a refrain. You know,

it's like the slap bass from Seinfeld. Yeah. It is the slap bass from Seinfeld. They use that for changes between scenes It's like Moscow But the theory I wanted to run by And Ryan Reynolds Definitely

Ryan Reynolds was there I'm a little embarrassed to admit it But I'm always happy to see him turn up in a movie I was He'll jump the shark at some point. He has. But as a cameo actor, he's perfect. Do you know he recently sold his telecom for like a billion dollars?

His telecom? Yeah, he started a phone company called Mint Mobile. And they were like, we're not like the big guys. We're little and cool. And then he sold it to, what's the fucking huge one in the States? T-Mobile. Yeah, for a billion and a half dollars wow yeah he's fucking loaded he was already loaded why did that why do people do this i don't know man why is he doing any of this he owns a football club and a vodka company gin and he's got a lot

of kids so maybe that's why how much does it cost to have a kid it's not a billion i i hate to play armchair psychologist but i'm about to but i also know that he's from a big family i think and had a real bad relationship with his dad so i think he's using money to try and show how much he loves his kids. Ah. Sounds healthy. Sounds like something the Church of Scientology would love to do a little auditing on and help him with. Oh, I didn't know that they

audit you. That would be sick. Oh, not financially. Well, actually, they probably do if they don't like you. They'll figure it out. Here's what I want to say. I'm so glad you brought me off the same toll. Idris Elba. This movie's set in London.

Yeah. He is a bad guy. Yeah. He wears a body armor suit. Yeah. We only ever really see him being a bad guy by day. There's another movie that's set in London starring Idris Elba featuring him as a bad guy by night. He plays a character called Macavity. These films were released around the same time. I believe he was not just working two jobs he was

working one job in the belief that he was playing the same character in the same cinematic universe the whole time. Whoa. So when he's not being the cyborg guy, he's nipping back to London to wreak havoc on the cats of London. Wow.

It makes some sense. And every time he goes, Macavity. He transports into his body armor suit and he's talking to the rock adjacent state. Fucking love that. I love that. And maybe all the tech that he gets,

it's magic. It's cat magic. It asks questions about the connections between Etienne and cats you know who's running cats

who's running the ship like who's the wizard of Oz in cats someone's in charge of that balloon right at the end that takes you to heaven

I went on a hot air balloon how was it the guy was in charge I think it was German it was the same guy he was in charge. I think it was German. Uh-huh. It was the same guy. He was lovely. There's like four jokes that ran through my head then

and I'm going to leave all of them unsaid. Say one. Say the best one. No. I wouldn't let a German near that much gas around me. You do you. Now do it in a Chinese accent no but I did

go on it and um you know they don't have a wheel I was aware of the fact that a hot air

balloon didn't have a wheel yeah you thought it had a wheel what the fuck would a wheel fact that a hot air balloon didn't have a wheel Yeah You thought it had a wheel? What the fuck would a wheel do on a hot air balloon bro? Steer it Oh a steering wheel That's even dumber than what I thought it meant I thought you meant like a wheel with a tyre dude

Nah man it's just a basket Have you ever thought about a hot air balloon before? Yeah I've been in one Yeah but before then did you ever thought about a hot air balloon before? Yeah, I've been in one. Yeah, but before then, did you ever think about roughly how they might work? They just go up. Well, exactly. Yeah. So why would they have a steering wheel?

So that you know where you're going. To live in your head for a day. So it's just the wind. Yes. Well Well and the gas And a bunch of sandbags I believe Do they have sandbags on your way? Didn't see any sandbags Big basket

Big balloon The balloon's made from like Puffer jacket material Is that right? And you just go up It's so thin this stuff And then you go up And then at the end

The going down You're not in charge of How it goes down Right Because all the other balloons Go up at the same time going down you're not in charge of how it goes down right because all the other balloons going up at the same time you or you the guy in charge of it isn't even in charge i wasn't in charge either no one was in charge he kind of was but all the other balloons were going down in the park and we were like pushed off in a different region we just like so all those ones go past and then we were getting like the horizon was getting close if you know what i mean like we're about to be on the water that's bad and yeah yeah and the guy was like we're gonna do a beach landing and we were like okay and we're coming down real close to the tops of buildings like real close

and then we clip the very top of a tree and we're coming down and he lands it on the beach and it's cool as hell and there's a lot of. And there's a lot of people watching. There's a lot of people watching. And then we help him. And it's very involved. You pack down the balloon. It's like a big sleeping bag. And you get out of the basket.

And the guy was like, do you know, that was an emergency landing. And I've never landed a balloon on the beach before. Holy shit! And we said no and then an ambulance showed up because a local person who was filming it from afar thought we'd crashed into a tree. In some ways you had. Nah we didn't crash into the tree we just gave it a little kiss. You clipped it and you had a crash landing. Here's the tree. We went like this.

All of this to say, the cats and cats are worshipping hydrogen? Could be. Could be that German guy. Yeah, right. Well, he doesn't have a steering wheel, though, is what I'm saying. So no one's in charge.

It's just the gangs. Yeah, obviously he doesn't have a steering wheel, Tim. How stupid are you? Idris Elba's very cool in this movie, and he reminded me of a character from DuckTales that Guy and I have been trying to figure out who it is. We've got a whole audience here to try and figure this out. Have I mentioned it, or was there in DuckTales

a character who had robotic armour that he could command at any time and turn into a thing? What's his name Gizmo Duck Gizmo Duck that makes sense doesn't ring a bell

and was he on a was he on a one wheel as well was that part of his jam was he kind of was he kind of sexy he meant well Miranda voiced him

in the reboot and was that sexy why do you want to fuck these ducks bro When Manuel Miranda voiced him in the reboot. And was that sexy? Why do you want to fuck these ducks, bro? Because I'm not allowed to fuck the real ones. Makes sense. Makes sense to me. When you're allowed, you just can't tell anyone.

Yeah. They've set this movie up to very strongly to have a sequel and it's quite noticeable that the sequel has not been made to this point. Got released.

COVID happened. I just think everyone's tried to move on. I think based on... I think Vin Diesel fucking... Yeah. So this came out.

Then they did Fast 9 and that's when the real falling out happened. That's when Vin and The Rock were at loggerheads you're on the wiki how'd this do financially do you know very well

did it 200 mil box no 200 mil budget I think 700 mil box office tidy yeah I think that's quite a lot yeah 700 mil

you could almost raise one of Ryan Reynolds' kids with that. It's crazy. He's like making all this money and then he keeps showing up in movies being like, well, you know, like, I've got quips. You've got one and a half billion dollars. Stop doing quips, you piece of shit.

I don't... I think it is over for him now for that exact reason. You can't be funny and a billionaire. No, just ask Elon Musk. Exactly. Even Dave Chappelle or Ricky Gervais. They used to be so funny. Remember when they were funny?

I do. And then now they're just these fucking guys. Yeah. Bad guys. Yeah. So you describe Dave Chappelle as a bad guy now? No, he's just misguided and no one can talk him down. What about Ricky Gervais?

Ricky Gervais likes himself too much. I reckon Ricky Gervais is probably a bad... Actually, do you know, I've heard that he's fundamentally... Like if you meet him one-on-one, he's a personable guy. I'm sure he is, but everyone is. It's very easy to be. I know. Have you met a politician?

Yeah. They're nice. I did Jacinda Ardern before she was the fucking PM. Brag about it. She's not even the fucking PM anymore, dude. That's an old brag. She was actually really nice. She was pretty good.

It's a trick. What is? They're all nice. You meet trick What is? They're all nice Oh right You meet all these people They're all nice Yeah To talk to

Because they have to be It's their job Sure That's the job right I think so This one guy I met Was not nice Was it David Seymour?

Yeah it was Really? Yeah What was he like? Just a little freak David David Seymour Is this guy we got in New Zealand

Who I don't know what the Australian equivalent is Have you got a libertarian party in Australia? They get in The libertarian party That's a good name for them Makes a lot more sense than your fucking liberal party Alright other guy from New Zealand He's stealing Guy Williams bits now yeah you should see my show

um we got a we got a libertarian in there by accident his name's david uh but his party's called the x party which doesn't make any sense anyway hobson shore what are you it's so weird to see a good fast and Furious movie. It gives me some hope of what they're capable of for the rest of the franchise. I don't think we're going to see it for a while on account of the fact that we have to watch seven, seven times, six, six times. So on and so forth.

And my understanding is they get better progressively as we go down. I think, do you know what it is? And this is what I thought. Even watching this movie, there are so many action sequences, so many beautifully choreographed action sequences that you become immune to them.

They wash over you. You don't actually engage with them for how incredible they are because of what this franchise has done, we take them for granted. Yep. And so the magic of what we're doing and what we'll get to

is that the movies get smaller. Yeah. The sequences get smaller and therefore I think they're more tethered to something we can appreciate because they're actually existing in a physical reality. It's exhausting to watch fucking tow trucks hitching onto each other

to keep a helicopter from flying away. All right, guys. This was so fucking cool. We're in Samoa and fucking Idris Elba is sort of like, he's kind of losing almost at this point. So he's throwing the whole kitchen sink at the situation trying to take down this pesky Hobson shore so he can get

the virus back and he's got command of a military helicopter that's got missiles on it and he's and they've deactivated the means of deploying the missiles by using a computer so he can't use the missiles he's just in a chopper he's just got a chopper and um so he's managed to successfully get state sister he's got the virus in here

fuck he's a lot going so many balls in the air in this movie man and so they're taking off and then rock and state they're like no he's my sister yeah and uh so they've got to stop it and so the way that they do that is they just like throw a fucking chain around the helicopter. And then they're in a truck and the rock just starts like tugging on it. At one point, the rock's literally just holding a helicopter with a chain.

Yeah. It's cook. But then, you know, which is absurd. And the thing is, we don't even think to laugh at it. It's not exciting to see. It's like, yeah, you think this.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they don't let them do laugh at it. It's not exciting to see. It's like, yeah, you think this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they don't let him do it for too long, which is actually a relief. And then all his Samoan family come up behind him and everyone's got their own car. And they just start fucking hooking onto the bumper. Cars onto cars onto cars. So get this.

The rocks car with Stath is being taken up into the air like a hot air balloon out of control at the beach yeah and to try and tether them down you know a brother comes out and over and slings a chain onto the bumper to add some weight and then that one starts ascending as well and then there's another brother and another car another train another brother another one and it's tremendous what a great idea and one of the many great ideas for action sequences and what I'm saying to you is what I'm looking

forward to is just like when it's just two cars side by side seeing who can drive faster I read

for me there's good there's good you should get into the F1 maybe or NASCAR or something they've got that

yeah yeah that's a thing that's a whole thing You could get into This movie for me though Did a nice job Of towing the line Of bullshit

To enough physics That are like Familiar to me Yeah And it had a good level But I will say You didn't take That they're

Makeup artists You thought that There were inconsistencies Oh the scarring thing Scabs and scarring That's on continuity baby Oh yeah The makeup artists Did a thought that there were inconsistencies in the scabs and scarring. That's on continuity, baby. Oh, yeah? The makeup artists did a great job.

They did what they were told. The scarring looked convincing, but it was just fucking gone. We could go, after this, we could get on the IMDb, find the continuity person and send them a strongly worded email.

We should. I think I'm going to light them up, man. Yeah. I'm going to light them up. I'm going to, I probably won't think about this again hopefully you've seen this movie before

I went to this movie in Edinburgh in 2019 so stoned in 4D they had motion master chairs motion master chairs and like spray and like smell do they really have smell? Yeah, but I don't remember.

I was too stoned. What smell could you possibly add to Fast and Furious presents Hobbs and Shaw? Just like bad color axe body spray. Gasoline. Yeah, true actually. Imagine they're just dousing a cinematic audience. Mostly I think it think because the motion master

is quite janky I think they introduced the idea of smell in case someone shits themselves you're like ah it's just a movie I spewed after

a motion master once did you? into like it was quite funny I was with on holiday with a bunch of mates on New Years

can't remember where we were Taupo I think there's fucking nothing to do there by the way if you're not into fishing don't go to topo it sucks it's not so bad it's not so bad it's very pretty but it was raining there's nothing to do so we found a motion master went on there and like i'd just been drinking a lot you know for a week and i got outside and just spewed into like a public dude bin i was at the adelaide fringe and i bought a ticket to go on i can't remember what it's called like the the kamikaze and it's like a wheel that goes around

and you know one of those ones that takes you up and you go upside down and it holds you there like that and then you go oh yeah okay hold on i want to i want to make sure i've got this is the ones where you can't like you sort of pin to the outside a little bit no you're so you're inside you're like that like a spinning no no no it's like it's it goes up like it's like a it's like a ferris wheel sort of thing and you go and so it's going whoa and then it holds you oh so i bought a ticket right because i really wanted to go on it and there were people in it before me it was quite late at night and i'm watching this ride that i'm waiting to go on and i'm pretty sure i'm the only ticket holder and then at the very top you see something like solid come out of the ride and I was like oh no

someone's dropped something and then you hear someone else go oh my god and then you see it come down and then you see more of the same solid stuff and it's actually not solid it's fluid because someone is throwing up oh boy and go on and on and on and then you saw them get out you am i we got to watch the whole thing was me and chris parker you watch this woman get out and she was shaking man she was shaking was that the one who bombed or yeah yeah yeah she was she was like oh anyway it took about 15 minutes To clean it up And I went on Good for you brother And it was a super janky ride

Good for you I want to make you aware That that's the time right now Yeah that's the time That's what it is Should we stop Talking to each other Yeah

It's probably about that time So If we were going to make One other thing It's not always late night People who are drinking Who spew up on rides it's probably about that time. So if we were going to make a short two. It's not always late night people who are drinking who spew up on rides. When I was 11, I went on something called a Gravitron.

It's like one of those ones. It's rude to the ground. It goes round and round. It starts going so far. Yeah, yeah. And I was on it with my friend Oscar. It was in the Christchurch A&P show and we got on and we were like pinned up.

You can go upside down. You're like pinned upside down or whatever. And then a bar flew off the middle and hit Oscar in the headchurch A&P show and we got on and we were like pinned up. You can go upside down, you're like pinned upside down or whatever. And then a bar flew off the middle and hit Oscar in the head and he threw up on himself and his vomit was pinned onto his body the whole time. And he was wearing this brand new rusty shirt that he'd just got from the surf store.

It was like so nice. It had dragons on it. We were gussied. Was he all right? Yeah, he's fine. Because that sounds like a concussion, like a severe concussion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's alright. He's alright, yeah. Shit, man. You always see those rides. You're like, they look pretty janky, but they have to be safe. Well, the other thing we did at the Adelaide Fringe was Chris and I went on a haunted house ride. And it's like this little thing and you just go around and around and around. And it's not...

I was waiting to be really scared because you heard people screaming. And there's like ghosts and stuff on the walls that come out and they're on like a rope and so they come out they go with the cadence of an eight-year-old yeah and i go like that and so that's not that scary but then they've got a guy in there there's a guy in there i got it okay and that's what's scary because the guy just goes like this you know and their finger their thick sweaty fingers just graze your arm and then you just don't know when they're going to come back.

They come back like four times. It's just a guy. It's just a guy. It's very scary stuff. I think I've told this one before on the pod but do you remember that story about how I went to the Sydney Easter show

when I was 20 and developed a fear of flying from one of the rides? Because me and my friend Nick Fone, who was briefly in the army and considers himself a veteran even though he only did basic training. Because to quote Nick, it is

a definition of a veteran. And we both went on a ride that puts you on a rollercoaster style holster that comes down and traps you in and then just flicks you around. It looks like an octopus. It's got all these arms and it fires you at the ground and then whips you up just before you're going to hit.

Sounds good. And we were both screaming. And I've never seen Nick so scared in his fucking life. And this is a veteran of the army mind. A veteran. A veteran. He could have served one day. Yeah, by that definition, we are all veterans.

In a lot of ways, we are. Yeah. So thank you for your service. We went on a Ferris wheel afterwards because we were so fucked up. And then I discovered that I had developed a fear of heights from that ride, which I didn't have prior to getting on it. And then flying fucked me up for years after that. you would hate it on a hot air balloon you know they don't even have a wheel i i would hate it on a hot air balloon i don't think i could handle it

you know that like we we recorded a podcast recently in a very high up um apartment building and went on the balcony and as soon as i looked down like yeah i'm gonna throw myself off yeah for i better go inside yeah i'm gonna trap myself off this even yeah i did think that once in a balloon i was like i could it's hard not to think i think anytime we'll have a big bridge i never do it i'm still here you know and it's not it's not scary it's not like genuine desire it's just like it's the knowledge you can which is a french term for it? Sexy? Yeah. I believe I pronounced that correctly. The horniness of the balloon.

Hey, way to not die, brother. Well done. I love you, Tim. Love you too, guy. And thank you so much for coming to our show, everybody. We hope you have a great day. And thanks for listening at home and most importantly happy Easter

don't forget what Jesus did for all of us so don't fuck it up now that we've finished the podcast there do you want to let people know that you've got your last show it's Tim's last show tonight it might be sold out if there's any tickets left fucking get on it right now

it's king shit my show's sold out tonight but I've got two more weeks so if you want to come along I'd love to see you there I don't talk about any of the stuff

we covered today I do do a Chinese accent though thanks for coming out guys thank you very much everybody cheers 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.