The Worst Idea Of All Time - HOSTING 3: 06 With Friends Like These

Episode Date: March 14, 2020

The forgotten history of Basketball, the satisfaction of self-directed tours and the true meaning of hosting. They say there are no enemies at the bottom of a bottle shared; even the greatest wrong, the vilest slight, the most vicious blow can be forgiven, if we open our hearts, to love. Guy and Carlo find that just a revenge is best served cold, friendship, is warm welcome.Support us on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/TWIOATCatch up on Hosting on its own stream here: (iTunes) (RSS) (Web Player) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional, the occasional all about hosting and guesting, friends, family, the occasional foe. We are recording in New York City. Carly, you've been here for six days now. And I'm Guy, by the way. And, I mean, it's been another action-packed day.

I thought we couldn't have topped yesterday, but we really got out there and saw the city, huh? Oh, absolutely, Guy. I mean, welcome back, everybody. I am probably the most exhausted I've been on this whole trip. I feel like from dawn until dusk, we saw every tiny little grain that this city has to offer up on our plate. And a city with such rich history that has truly charted its own course, you know, in terms of being a place with a very distinct sense of identity.

Following in the footsteps of other cities before it. In parts, yeah, but certainly I think by and large, you know, a city like no other. large uh you know a city like no other we started the day in chinatown um and you know had some of the most delicious food uh there's some courts and basketball courts down there we watched some of the you know the the local pickup teams playing games against each other and the standard of basketball they were playing was was really incredibly high yeah it was incredible it's amazing to see you know just how much the sport has caught on here in in new york you know so far from its homeland you know basketball yeah where's the homeland of basketball a little place called sydney new south wales australia guy Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, Guy. I don't...

Yep. Yep. That's why it's called basketball. No, it's called basket because the goal is to put the ball through the basket. And where do you think that comes from, Guy? It comes from the basket district in Sydney. The basket district? Early 1810s, 1820s, the Basket District.

Look it up. They used to make a lot of baskets down there. And occasionally, they would have a basket in which the loontine, that is the bottom of the basket, would fall out. And they would pop that up on a tree, and they'd take turns throwing rocks into it. And they used to call it basket rocks. And as well, the language evolves.

So it became basket bull and then basketball. And there we are. Wow. And do you think the standard or quality of play that we see here and we saw here in New York this morning, is comparable to... As good. If not, a little worse.

Because after we... I mean, this was much later in the day, but we toddled our way uptown to Madison Square Gardens. That's right. We watched the New York Knicks play basketball against the Milwaukee Bucks. I want to say Milwaukee. Say what you like.

And, I mean, that was a real display. And again, you... Had some good basketball. Yeah, you were really blown away by the, not just the professionalism, but also the sense of spectacle that... Oh, yeah. I mean, what an incredible stadium. Am I using the right word?

Yeah, I think it's more of an arena than a stadium. It's certainly not a garden, you know. Certainly not a garden in the way that I would use that word. Yeah. Madison Square, makes sense. Garden, I think you were looking for the word arena yeah and that's actually

one of the few points that I think we can agree on with regards to you know place names in the history of New York but yeah it's been I mean what else did we fit in

we went to the Smithsonian that's right and my word what an incredible place you really saw that at pace oh yeah right i mean i don't think i've run so fast in my life today it was pretty distressing for a lot of the other you know visitors and certainly the security staff oh they were boggled by it yeah i'd go further than boggled they were really irate with you but so quickly were you moving,

it was almost impossible for them to lay a hand or a word on you. Oh, yeah. I felt like a spring goose covered in oil. They just couldn't catch hold of me, you know, just slipping, weaving, ducking. Did you take in any of the gallery itself? Oh, partially, yes, yes. A lot of bones, plants dinosaurs you know all all of that

and specifics no moving too quickly too quickly yeah just shame because you know you spend four hours in a museum you'd hope you'd come away with something but i did sort of say you could slow down and we could take it in more leisurely. That's just the way it is, isn't it? It's just the way it is. Yeah. It doesn't have to be, but it is. They use an American saying,

it's just the way the cookie crumbles. Of course, in Australia you say the way the biscuit crumbles. The biscuit breaks. Ah. The way the biscuit breaks. And you were surprised to see cookies in america i was yeah um you know a treat that i've known and loved my whole life biscuits

here in the u.s it's you know it's like walking out of your house one day you know in sydney or in melbourne or new york and you run into a friend from your hometown, and they tell you they've been living next door for 10 years. It's exactly like that, just running to these biscuit shops, cookie bakeries, and wild time. Absolutely wild. We also, at my insistence, went on the Sex and the City bus tour, which was, again, a huge amount of culture shock for you.

Yeah, I mean, I hadn't even heard of the city, let alone the sex in it, or the series. Yeah, popular television series, Carrie Bradshaw and some friends, they sort of navigate life together as single women in the Big Apple. And, you know, you get to see the facade of Carrie Bradshaw's apartment. You get to go to some of the bars and the places that the characters actually hang out with

in the show. And for any fan of Sex and the City, I've got to say it's a wonderful experience. Yeah, and for any people who aren't aware of the show, just sort of a mind-boggling exercise in just being taken around and shown things you have no interest in or invest in sure uh into whatsoever you still get to see parts of the city that you might not otherwise have seen oh true yes yes you know you get to make friends with the other people

on the tour the the tour guide you know weren't they keen to talk about the show well naturally the the tour is about the show and the characters contained therein. So it's something that everyone has in common with each other on that tour. And I had a lot of fun pretending to know the show very intimately and to knowing about episodes that people must have forgotten. I made them feel that they'd forgotten them or they had missed them, you know, which was great fun. You were impressively persuasive in that respect. It certainly threw our guide off,

who had a pretty tough go of it by the end, trying to sort of compete, I guess, once again, with your version of the tour. Yeah, I was really, really undermining his authority, you know, really from the get-go, just kind of... You know, he would say something like, oh, and over here is where, you know really from the get-go just kind of you know he would say something like oh and over here is where you know such and such scene from episode six is film and i would say something like really you know oh okay interesting that kind of thing you know really just throw him off his game yeah and i guess the confusing thing was because they'll identify the landmark

and say this is where, say, you know, Carrie and Big share their first kiss. And this is supported by video evidence playing on the screens on the bus. I mean, you know, absolutely undeniable evidence that this is the place where it's happening. Yet you were still insistent. Really getting in his head, you know. I'd say, oh, okay, that's, okay, funny. Yeah, that's funny. Because I'm pretty sure it was on the other side of this square,

you know, that kind of stuff. Just really mucking around. Fudging the facts. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was good fun for me. You know, I loved it. Would you recommend the tour I mean do you have any

interest in checking out the show after having been you know I actually I do kind of want to watch the show would you recommend it yeah I think it's a

pretty good time it certainly represents a moment in our culture and I I mean as someone who you know you've got tremendous gaps

in you know your your pop culture canvas. I mean, to have missed everything that America's produced is frankly quite impressive. Well, you know, I'm not a hero guy. I guess the word impressive is probably, you know, it's too easy for people to choose how they interpret its meaning. I would maybe opt to say instead pretty confusing or unlikely. I was not trying to insinuate that you were any kind of hero.

Well, there you go. Not a hero guy. In this, we can agree. Yeah, I do look forward to watching it. and this we can agree yeah you know i do look forward to watching it it'll be it'll be fun to catch up on this city that i've come to really i guess feel at home here you know i've only been here six days but it's grown on me it um do you feel at home oh yeah i do i i started to get to know the street that you live on you know the people in the shops, certainly the bodega, you know, the place where I get my morning coffee, you know, the donut spinner, you know, the burger flipper, you know, the happy hot dog stretching gentleman. All these people who really make up the fabric of New York and represent what the city truly is and has to offer.

Yeah. It's so much more than just, you know, it exists as an idea before you get here. But when you're on the ground, boots on the ground, you really do get a sense for living here and for life itself. The joie de vivre that is unique to New York. Oh, certainly, Guy. It is a city. And it is a city and it's a city full of people and each of those people are a city unto themselves you know yeah yeah it's it's been a special time would you recommend uh anything else from today i mean the

medicine square gardens experience i feel that you know, as the blank canvas that you are, you're uniquely positioned to highlight to anyone listening along who's looking not just for tips on hosting, but things to do when you're visiting. Anything in particular stand out to you as worthy of, you know, recommending? Look, I had my first American Yankee Doodle Doo hot dog today. And let me tell you this. If you're going to go to Madison Square Gardens,

go with an empty stomach because you're going to want to have one of these hot dogs. It's a... If you can imagine this, it's not a dog or... But it is hot. And it's a long bun, like a finger bun, but cut split down the middle. And it's filled with a frankfurter, quite long.

Not your usual, not your little frankfurter you're picking out from the butchery for the kids. No, no, this is a long one. And it's covered in tomato sauce, a little bit of mustard. And if you're lucky, you have some fried onions on that. And heavenly. What an incredible invention.

You'd never heard, hide nor hear of it? You hadn't heard one of these? Never seen it. Never tried it. Not even in Sydney? No, no. And I think I could take this back and make quite a pretty penny.

I think they've already got hot dogs in Sydney. Well, it's news to me, Guy. It's news to me because, I mean, I had one bite of this thing and I thought, wow, I really am on the other side of the world. Wow. Yeah. thing and i thought wow i really am on the other side of the world wow yeah you are uh you know a mystery wrapped in an enigma and wrap that in a long thin white bun put a little tomato sauce and mustard on you get yourself a good time absolutely wow so of everything you've done in new york so far that would rank near the top of recommendations i'd say that's right up there have a hot dog have a hot dog yes don't give yourself

too much of a treat just one will be fine i think will you have one again later tonight or tomorrow for years no i'd like to savor this for as long as I can. Surely if you enjoyed it so and they're readily available, you could... I would worry that having a second one might dilute just the pure joy I experience in every mouthful of this hot dog. And I would hate to spoil that with some bastardization of another hot dog. And fair enough to you for that. I also took you to the local bar not far from where I live called Birdies, oldest bar in Bushwick.

And we did the photo booth and we had a few tall boys. And it was really nice as hosts to sort of, you know, put down my card or the credit card I had on my person at the time and treat you as a guest in not just my shared apartment but also my shared city. And I think it's these sorts of things, these little flourishes and touches you can put on as a host that really do create more, that elevate an experience

from just being a visitor or being a tourist to being a visitor to being someone who's really made to feel welcome. That's it, Guy. I think when we got to Birdies, that experience more than any of the experiences we've had over the last six days, that experience really to me, it shows that I'm not just seeing New York,

I'm seeing a bit of Guy's New York. I'm seeing the New York... That's really nice. ...that Guy has lived in, that Guy has experienced, that Guy has been a part of. And that was a really wonderful thing to get to see, to get to see New York through your eyes.

Mixing and mingling with the locals. You knew the bartender, they said hello. There were people that you'd seen before. Yeah, some of the more friendly people I've come across. I don't know why I took until day six before I dragged you down for an icy cold one, because truly, of all the places I've been, that is maybe where I've felt the most welcome. There's a word in German which, again, no one there seemed to understand at the bar, and it's gemütlich.

It's the feeling of comfort in a small space with friends, sharing a good time. It's a very hard-to-translate word, but that's what I felt there with you at Birdies tonight, just that kind of contentedness that you can only get when something is truly comfortable with a friend. kind of contentedness that you can only get when something is truly comfortable with a friend and and so yeah i mean that's what i would say is my biggest takeaway from this hosting experience is you know you don't only see the city but you also see the city through the eyes of your host you see a version a palimpsest if you will of the city. That's, I'm sorry, I've actually, I've got goosebumps. That's really sweet. And think of our shared history and, you know,

for you to be able to say something like that and for me to be able to show you an experience like that, I think it really shows a grace, a maturity, and a certain mutual humility that, you know, we are adults in the sense we can let these, you know, mistakes of the past or miscommunications of the past wash over us and we emerge, you know, with fresh perspective and fresh eyes. Yeah, that's it, Guy.

I mean, we have done things unto each other you know mentally physically that would break any friendship you know um but what we lost in the in the fun of those experiences in the doing of those things was care you know and how important it is to foster care and love. You know, you can't be a host without a sense of respect and of love. A hundred percent. And I'm not too proud to say I regret things I said or did or ways I behaved. To look back on that now, I almost don't recognize myself. And I, yeah, there's a certain amount of embarrassment and shame

I associate with that time in my life. I feel as a person totally independent of who I was. Look, don't apologize. It means a lot to me that you have apologized and I too feel sorry for the things that I have done in the past. As in my capacity of host, I think I betrayed a lot of the friendship. And I too feel like through this experience, I've crossed into a different level. But I would say don't apologize, Guy, because those experiences of hosting,

those experiences helped us become the people we are today. Caring people people people who love each other the world they can engage with people with strangers and see them not as as as just strangers in the street but as friends as new people absolutely we're not we're not defined by our mistakes every mistake is a is aable moment. It's a learning opportunity. And yeah, it's been a really wonderful day. And I guess I'm sort of high on endorphins from all the walking or something, but I really feel it's almost too twee to say that I'm operating on a higher plane of existence than I was.

But I do think that we are in a really great and healthy physically and mentally spot. I don't think it's twee at all. I mean, I think that really registers. I feel like we're functioning at a level somewhere above our day-to-day goings-on. We've really zoned in and we've found something there in our friendship. We've taken it to a next level. And I think that's the power that good hosting has.

You can take a friendship into just a whole other trajectory. You really can. And, you know, on top of all of that, I was really pleased to see that June and Murtagh sort of still incredibly drowsy and really dehydrated, but moving, stirring, waking. And it's just so heartening, isn't it? It is. Born into the world renewed.

A rebirth, if you will. the world renewed you know a rebirth if you will they've gone through almost death and to come out of that fresh doughy eyed confused into a new day you know it's a it's a special it's a special moment it really is we obviously while they were asleep and between all of the touristing we we stripped the walls we took down all of mark photos. The apartment in which they were guesting and sleeping would be all but unrecognizable to them. Not a single element of Mark's former life is left in that flat. It's a different place to where they fell asleep. It's a different energy.

Seeing anyone confused can be adorable but to see two people have been unconscious for 32 hours uh just really sort of rediscovering their bearings and for part of that rediscovery of bearings to be you know looking at their son still trapped within this full-body cast, super smeared across his stupid fucking face. Big, big colourful lips and a crazy kind of face painted onto his cast, which we took the liberty of. We had a bit of fun. We dressed him up. We used some old make-up and things.

We also took the trouble of melting the ice cube in which we'd put the engagement ring, and and we just slid that over june's finger and um the confusion that's caused between husband and wife and certainly mother and son is um well it's just it it's it's one of those things you you memories you can't put you can't put words on what's that it was that credit card they say there's some things money can't buy and uh that's one of those oh absolutely guy you know this is the kind of moment where you look out and you see a confused scared family waking up in a terrifying place that they have no recollection of and you're watching them piece together the moments of their lives, confused, angry, scared,

and you think, this is what humanity can be. You know, we can get pressed right up against the wall. We can be thrown out to the wolves. We can have our drink laced with poisonous amounts of arsenic and cyanide, and we can get so sick that we pass out for hours. You know, we can have our money stolen we can have our precious jewels thrown into our but at the end of the day we will prevail we will come through it better happier in a knowledge that we have and with a greater appreciation for humor a more

refined and developed sort of comic sensibility. And also I would like to say that, you know, Mark and Terry and Fiona, they seem to be incredibly grateful for the way we sort of bundled up all of her positions in a trash bag and just put them on a random subway carriage and sort of send them out into New York City to be discovered by, well, whoever, wherever. Yeah. them out into new york city to be discovered by well whoever wherever yeah um well i say grateful you know that i think that they if they knew if they knew they would be and you know while we did get their their room number and you know obviously we have been listening into all of their phone

calls and and who they've been in touch with ironically it's been very difficult for us to get in touch with them which is uh i guess it's just another one of those funny little moments. Yeah, life has its humours, doesn't it? It really does. So we've asked them, on behalf of Mark, by sending a text from his phone, to come around for a sort of, I suppose, just a group conversation that as far as they know we won't be a part of, a clarification, if you will, of everything that has transpired

in the last sort of four or five days. Yeah, and I'm looking forward to that, Guy. I'm looking forward to just seeing what happens when all these people are all confronted with the stark reality that has become their lives in just a short matter of, not even a week. Well, not yet. You know, I didn't choose the prank life. The prank life chose me, I guess.

That's it, yes. I'm a big Ashton Kutcher fan, and I love to laugh. And, you know, I'm really excited tonight to re-watch some of those old punk episodes and just see exactly how the pros do those reveals because you know I remember Beyonce knocking down the Christmas tree or you know all these all these little moments and and the the relief and joy on their face when they realize it's all a big prank I think I think it's really going to be something special

when we share that with them. Absolutely. And that's the key word there, Guy. And it means the same in New Zealand. It means the same in Australia. It means the same in America. And that's sharing. And that's what we've done.

We've shared. We've shared something special with this family. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. The thing is, the sooner we get to christmas eve you know the thing is the sooner we get to sleep the sooner we wake up and the sooner the day begins so um i might turn in for the night if that's fine by you me too guy and let's let's just wait and see what happens i love you friend i love you too Thank you.