The Worst Idea Of All Time - MWWC5: “An abomination” (w/ Brynley Stent)

Episode Date: January 31, 2020

Comedian and self-confessed Cats fanatic Brynley Stent did NOT join the fellas but has seen CATS (2019) separately and she has some notes on the film! Bryn educates the boys on the wafer-thin plot of the original musical and why that’s a good thing. She also dreams of being the world’s first female Skimbleshanks. Meanwhile, Guy is entirely focused on a disappearing CGI tap shoe.Brynley Stent’s Instagram / Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can I ask you about director Tom Hooper? Why was he the perfect director to bring this particular project to the screen? Tom Hooper, because he's a man of immaculate taste, witnessed the fact that he wanted Ian O'Callaghan to be in the movie. That's the less alluring thing, if someone offers you the job, for goodness sake. That's Meow! Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Hello and welcome to episode five of Our Week with Cats,

the only podcast where Tim Baird and myself, Guy Montgomery, watch and discuss cats at the cinema and in the studio every day for a week. This is our fifth time. And we're joined in studio, but not in cinema today, by the fantastic Brinley Stent. Kia ora. Kia ora. Brinley, thank you so much for joining us.

You couldn't actually make it to the cinema with us today because you were working. I was, yeah. Mixed feelings about missing it. I think I would have loved to have watched you guys watch it. Because you have seen it. I have seen it. And the reason you have seen it

is because you are, as I understand, an enormous fan of Cats. I am. I am. Yeah. Unashamedly. Unashamedly. Oh, what's that word? I don't even know.

I am unashamed to be a fan of Cats. Unabashedly. She said unashamedly. There you go. So can you, before we discuss this movie in particular, can you just walk us through your backstory, your history with cats? I would love to. I'd love to. So when I was a kid, I was a cat gal.

Yeah. You know how there are horse girls. I was a cat girl, so I loved cats. And one day my mom, so at our library, all the videos didn't have proper covers. They had like photocopied covers. And so it was all uniform. And my mom got me this Cats video thinking it was just about cats.

She didn't know it was a musical or anything like that. She just was like, probably will like this. It'll be nice. She gave it to me, and little did she know, she was starting a real and true obsession with the musical and basically launched my performance career. Really? How old are you when you're given this hello video? I think I was probably about 8.

And this was a video of the original Broadway production that is floating around on YouTube or something else? I believe it is the original Broadway one that they filmed. It was in the Andrew Lloyd Webber box set. Yeah, that sounds like that'll be the real deal.

Have you seen any of the other ones? I have seen some. Oh, I've heard some of the other ones, but I haven't seen any of the other ones. I did see part of a Christchurch production. Only part? Yeah. Well, we had to leave at halftime. Why?

Because my, who was I with? It was my dad and my grandma and my grandma was sick oh wow that must have been a real blow for you as such a big Cats fan yeah

were you enjoying it I was yeah I mean it was quite a weird take not what I was used to I'm kind of traditional that one was a bit steampunky kind of

steampunky kind of it was punk it was punk I think that's great people are right to just impose whatever, you know,

overlay they want on cats. It's sort of, for how weirdly, you know, kitschy it is, it does kind of, because there's nothing to it, apart from a series of cats singing songs, you have total creative license to say, well, this is what I'm going to do. Put it in space. I also, just as a side piece of information,

my high school performed a show called Street Cats when I was in year 12, which is what Eli describes as what your high school puts on if your high school can't afford cats. It's like an off-brand cat. It's called Street Cats. How similar is the music? No, not similar at all. Not at all. It's like West Side Story meets Cats. Right. It goes like an off-brand Cats. It's called Street Cats. How similar is the music? No, not similar at all.

Not at all. It's like West Side Story meets Cats. Right. It goes like this. Street Cats. We're fighting mean. We're never clean. We're Street Cats.

It seems incredible to come out with a musical after Cats is already in the musical universe and also have half of your title be Cats. No, but this is why. It's like you're getting in the slipstream. You let that big production take all the brunt of the critical ups and downs, and then you go, I'm going to make one that people will confuse for this for money. People sure seem to like watching musical songs about cats. Why not more?

Why not double the number of songs out there? Give the people what they want. So if we could quickly just go back in time. You're eight years old. Presumably this is a VHS that you've put into the machine. And you presumably at this point are expecting to just watch a movie about cats. Yeah. And is your mother with you?

Are you by yourself? Do you have siblings in the room? I honestly can't remember the first time that I watched it. But it would have been probably on the family VHS in the lounge. Yeah. But I do recall, so my parents had their own TV in their room, and I do recall after that first viewing, watching it over and over and over again in my parents' bedroom

by myself with the door closed. Why was the door closed? Because you felt like you were being naughty. Yeah, I was embarrassed because I'd perform it. So you'd be singing along. Yeah, to all the numbers. And is this spanning across weeks, months, years? Years.

I think I definitely felt sexually attracted to some of the cats when I was getting on that kind of 11. When you were at the precipice of your own sexuality. on who did it for you uh monk and strap which is like fair enough yeah that leader cat yeah yeah robert downey the third we've been calling him because the guy who portrays him in the film i don't know if you know robert downey jr as a cat yeah as a son it is a it's a horny fucking musical as well. I mean, I've not seen the original Broadway number, but this film is absolutely loaded with sexuality. Yeah. And so here you are in your parents' bedroom with the door closed,

learning all the lyrics and sort of identifying within yourself, you're like, well, these cats are doing something to me that's quite new. And so how do you carry the torch of this relationship from there into adulthood today? Is it just embedded within you? It's embedded within me. And I think I only realized when I kind of, because after that I loved performing.

So it was kind of like an early wave. I mean, like a lot of kids, it's like them performing in their bedroom by themselves. But then I realized later on when I started getting into more musical theater, like groups and things, or like friends they they were like it's shit and i was like oh no suddenly i am eight again locked in my parents and so do you did you would you wear your fandom as a badge of honor or were you like no you you were became self-conscious about liking cats but did it did you did you try to to emotionally break up with cats as a result?

Or were you like, this is going to be my dirty little theatre secret? It was the dirty little theatre secret. And now I love it. Of course. I wear it as a badge of pride. I performed one of the numbers for my friends on New Year's. What song? I performed the opening number.

Jellicle Cats. And was that after you'd seen the film? It was, yeah. So you were talking about the movie. Yeah. People were sharing their opinions. Yeah. And so can you tell us when you went and saw the film?

Yes, I think it was the day after New Year's in the beautiful Matakana Cinema. Oh, nice. Yeah. Who were you with? I was with my friend Tom Clark. And what were your expectations and what was your experience upon sort Tom Clark And what was Like what were your expectations And what was your experience upon

Sort of realising what was happening And then afterwards Great question So when I heard the trailer was like coming out I was like gobsmacked Because I hadn't heard the rumours And so when I saw the trailer I was like immediately scared

But excited as well It's kind of like any remake you know like even the lion king when it came i was like oh what are they gonna do with it but i was positive i was really positive i was like no it's fine all the music will be the same even in the face of the trailer even in the face of the trailer i was holding true yeah i was holding to my guns and then uh the moment we sat down, we were late, so I missed the first couple of lines, which I was gutted about because it's iconic. I can't imagine that would be.

And the overture as well. Are you blind when you're born? I think we came in for just the chorus. Not a bad time to end it because that song fucking rips. But you did miss the real tone setting Tinny synth that they play

Which immediately identifies the fact We are in a crisis Honestly now I have an intensely Pavlovian response To those notes and it's just sheer terror Because it is both horrifying by itself And signifies the start of another Disgusting journey

But that's just me i still don't know what you thought of the movie brun so you and i am so curious you walk and sit down angelical cats yep um and i hated it oh no i hated it so much well i again i still held out hope for that first number i was like okay it's not so bad but then when we got into like the reba wilson part of it like the jenny any dots kind of number i was like oh no no no and so you're just in free fall at this point i was in free fall and then every new number that came out i was like no at no point did they get you maybe the siri mccallan bit the gust the theater cat bit and that's only because that was a totally different number than what's in the original musical.

So I was like, oh, okay, well, it's new. You enjoyed the take. Yeah, I enjoyed the take. Sir Ian's playing really well, to my eyes. There's an effortless charm to him. My wife has always said that he was the most convincing cat. And based on a lot of interviews that I've watched with the cast at this point, he was the only one that missed all of cat school

the rest of them were in cat school for three months they did cat school? yeah they had to do cat school where they were training doing all the dancing they would have like two hours a day with a cat behaviouralist wow

yeah but I just feel like he brings so much experience and confidence with him anything that he's not the lead in is a cakewalk for him. It's like he looks at the page once and he goes, yep, I'm just a theatre cat. I reckon that cat behaviour list might have put them wrong, eh?

I think so too. It was almost a cartoony. It was, as far as I can tell, they all learnt one thing from her and it was you use your shoulders a lot when you're a cat. Oh yeah. Because whenever they're slinking around, because they're on two feet, but they're all, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder. But that is cat-like.

I always think about when I see lions in nature documentaries and their shoulder blades are always, they're so bony, they're popping up. Only if you think of their legs as arms. Which you must. Given what we're working with. So pretty much everything was an aberration on what you enjoyed,

save for a new take on Gus, which I don't even think it sounds like you liked. You just enjoyed that it was different. Yeah. And so what are you praying for? So basically Tom was listening to me, and every new song that started, I would be like this, no, no, no, no.

Mango Jerry and Rumpelple teaser got me the most because they totally changed the entire song you struck me as someone who would be a big i was a fan because they're like these cheeky outside characters who just swan in and they muck around and they go oh we don't give a hoot and then they're out of there and that's you that was one of my prime numbers that i perform along with their macavity number which was the kind of sexy one and skimple shanks was the other one that those are my favorites and fucking we'll get the skimple shanks don't you worry about that uh so mungo jury and rumble teaser is that's the low point that was the low point that was the i would say an abomination how different is the music like how much have

they changed it uh it's the same lyrics right but totally different tune right i'll play it for you afterwards eh maybe i i would i'd just like to talk quickly about our experience watching cats today because this was the fifth time we've seen it in as many days. And I have been an advocate for the film. And, you know, to my own surprise, quite enjoying myself in there, not dreading the watches, sort of finding the whole experience to be quite a curious thing. Yeah. But I realized that five is my absolute limit with Cats.

You're stuffed. I've had enough to hear. Couldn't have one more bite of Cats. found it uh so so hard to watch and the only thing that sort of pulled me through was just the notion of the anarchy not just that the movie is created but like just what we are doing both to ourselves and you know the chaos that has already been created yeah we're bringing an entirely new chaotic energy to it which is you, you know, like running. It's like the movie, which appears to have no holds barred. There's no creative limitations they impose on themselves.

They said, we're just going to make the movie. We're just going to do everything as we go along. We're not going to believe in the word no. And just whatever fucking happens, happens. And I feel like we're coming at it from the same angle. And it's two things that will not blink, running at each other at full speed. But we're the at it from the same angle. And it's two things that will not blink running at each other at full speed. But we're the only ones that are sentient.

Would you describe the feeling today as, was it like despair or boredom or anger or sadness? Sort of. There were flashes of everything. It was not despair because we've only got two screenings left it was more just like a total appreciation for all of the negative things people have been saying to me about cats and in general about cats yes i could finally appreciate and i was like i felt like i was watching the movie they were watching which wasn't sort of this gleeful madness it was just like oh this this fucking it's it's so it's so crazy and i was telling you tim that at some point i sort of left my mind and body and was just totally thinking about something outside of the cinema and then

when i came back within myself i looked up and sir ian mckellen was on the screen in really high definition looking remarkably like a cat yeah and i sort of like i was like well this is pretty amazing yeah because just as a technical moment it was divorced from the broader experience of watching Cats. And I was just like, what an age we live in. See? Ian McKellen rendered as a cat for you. Yep. But it was.

Are you not entertained? Exactly. Oh, boy. I felt disgusted with the movie, but happy with myself because I've been feeling myself being drawn in by cats as the watches have gone on and i like not all musicals but i i really like the musicals i like and i think andrew lloyd weber is famous for if you know you see a show once or you hear it once then you're on the hook yeah i baited and so up to number five i was like oh fuck am i gonna fall

for this movie and i'm happy to report no no such danger it's a no from me but it does introduce the interesting thing where because you have already built up a relationship with the songs and the musical you brought all of this sort of you know this rich history with you into the cinema whereas i think a lot of the joy that maybe i was deriving and you might have been driving tim is from discovering the music and like identifying cats that you like and moments you enjoy and being like fuck you know I gotta get through this but just around the corner fucking Skimbleshanks

is gonna tap dance in here the entire cinematic experience I think I speak for both of us is just a countdown to Skimbleshanks number and then everything after it can go to hell it's a great, not everything after it Skimbleshanks number yeah it's a good number everything after it can go to hell it's a great not everything after it skimble shanks still to me represents the beginning of the end because

as soon as you get to skimble shanks then we uh he disappears and then we have and we're immediately on the barge which they no no no because then it's taylor swift and mcavity which is sort of i get i get through and then're on the barge. And then you've got Mr. Mistoffelees, which fucking slaps. And then after Mr. Mistoffelees. Mr. Mistoffelees didn't do it for me today. And that's how I knew I was out of love. That's a massive tell. Well, for the first time in five screenings,

I didn't get goosebumps in the crescendo of memories. Far out. All I was thinking about was Laura's criticisms of Jennifer Hudson's creative decisions. Lack of dynamics, she was saying. She just delivers the entire film one note. Very sad. And you've got to do it with highs and lows, she reckoned. Do you want to hear my three main hates of it?

Yeah. I would love to. Number one, making a story out of it. I mean, I know it's a movie. But the original musical is random because it's just poems right so that's what i love about it like it's just like here's some songs that are based on poems and then it doesn't need to connect there's a little bit of a connection of like they do talk about the heavyside layer a lot layer a lot but um that i hated that they were like and now this happened and they've taken this cat and she's new and they're in love.

Don't need any of that. So there's even less plot in the musical than there is in the film. Yeah. That is staggering to me. I can appreciate what you're saying though because in that instance it knows what it is. Yeah.

There's no story here. It's just a pastiche. We're not attempting to pull the wool over your eyes and suggest that there's anything actually happening. It's music. It's an album yeah that does make that is part of what makes the movie feel thinner is that if you make a half-assed attempt at communicating a story through what is like it's impossible to imbue any of this with meaning or like you know a semblance of sense you can't spend a hundred million dollars on a film that doesn't have a plot though you know, a semblance of sense. You can't spend $100 million on a film

that doesn't have a plot, though, you know? They've tried. They pretty much did, Tim. So that's your number one gripe. Number two, the beautiful thing about seeing it on stage is that you see the dancers dance, which is so incredible to watch because they're actually amazing.

But then as soon as you add CGI in, you're like well you could just make them do a quadruple backflip yeah exactly do whatever yeah yeah make their eyes move apart it blows my mind that that no one thought of that in the pre-production because this even in the like film adaptation this is almost as much of a dance movie as it is the music and the songs yeah it's so impressive but you're right it's just like well you don't get to see the human kind of doing it even though i know they did but it's like you add that layer of fur and it's like yeah as you say they could

have just done it and the the way that the fur is laid and the costuming decisions is trapped between like fully running towards the cgi and also trying to remain faithful to the pretty primitive cat costumes that are in the original musical, which are like, people look like cats. Face paint's doing a lot of heavy lifting, but it does flatten out all of their moves. You still do.

I've been impressed by some of the dancing. That's good. That was intended. Yeah, I guess. You are crossing some very low bars that you're setting for the film what's the third thing you hated brad the straight washing of uh mr mistoffelees oh is he really camp in the musical so camp he's like the iconically gay cat oh what and then they gave him a a female love story and like just cast a straight cute boy actor to play it i i so i when i was

walking out of your house yesterday with joseph and laura they said they'd learned that he mr miscellaneous didn't sing his song originally is this true that he has one line or something which is about in the rum tum tugger song the Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible boy. Boar. Boar. Boar. He's this iconic big camp character. Yes.

Oh, he has his own song. He still sings that Mr. Mistoffelees song. But there's none of that shit of like, can he do it? And then it's like he's losing his confidence and all that. None of that's there. He just sings. He's just one of the cats trying to get to the thing. And he's just damn it that would have been so much more fun i would love to have seen this devoid of a love story because it's just like so obvious that you got to put that in there for this kind of demo and the original is still horny i'll just put that out there it's

still horny as hell but it's just like they're all going, they're cats. They're polyamorous, open-minded kind of way. Fucking don't want to fuck, yeah. I get that from the movie too, though. There's like the way they've choreographed Taylor Sane's catnipping scene, where everyone, when Macavity fucks off out of there and they will just collapse on the ground,

they are spent. Like, jizz everywhere, floor to ceiling, get the cleaners in. There's a moment where you think you wouldn't mind throwing yourself into the middle of that giant herd of cats and just fucking, you know, shutting your eyes and letting what happens happen. Go and help the leather.

Have a good time. No one tell my mum I'm here. Yeah. There's, yeah, because there's like even, oh, actually, I want to ask you, what did you make of old Deuteronomy being cast, Dame Judi Dench? Because that character is a male, usually. Yes, yes.

And the one that I watched, he was an African-American actor, I believe. Yeah, I mean, I didn't mind it being played by Judi, but the bit where she turns and stares into you with piercing, tiny black eyes. Really horrible. It's such an uncomfortable way to end a tale. It's a bit of fun though. No, it's not. It's only because we've seen it multiple times. Like all the people we went with yesterday,

well, actually it doesn't quite count because Joseph and Laura had seen it. I was looking at my wife. She was trying to hide herself in the chair like to escape Dame Judi Dench's gaze. It is so intense. I don't mind as long as that actor has mana. Yeah.

Oh, Deuteronomy has to have mana. And Dame Judi does. She does. Her singing's not great. No, I mean, it's not. There's too much of her singing as well. Well, that's not good. They should have just peered down.

It's just like she's in the movie Wicked, great Love that, good You don't have to make her sing Do you know what I noticed today is that Jason Derulo In addition to being the runtime tugger And so having his own number Is like part of the core

Cast And so he would have been on set every day Doing this Like you know, River Wilson and James Corden They get their numbers and then they were been on set every day doing this. Like, you know, Reba Wilson and James Corden, they get their numbers and then they were not on set for the rest of the time because they were on the barge. Yeah. But he was showing up day in, day out.

Because he's doing that falsetto, like finding a lot of the soprano in there. Yeah. Which you don't know until you've seen it about three times. You're like, that's coming from Rhyme Time Tiger Jason Derulo. Is the Rhyme Time Tiger fun Derulo is the Rhyme Time Tiger fun in the original yeah he's quite

camp as well a lot of them are camp but he's kind of bowie oh cool yeah like kind of rockstar kind of vibes

yeah and you're sort of snarling for those listening sort of snarling her lip as though she herself

is a rockstar I've been all these cats at some point in my life. You have. Which of them do you most closely identify with? Which of the cats and cats are you? Wow, great question.

I think I'd stick with Rumpelteazer. I think I'd be in a little duo, I believe. But if I was in the musical, I'd want to be Skimbleshanks. The first female Skimbleshanks. Yeah. The first female Skimbleshanks, Brinley Steads. It's time.

It's 2020. Let's get it done. I'd love to see the press tour you'd do for that. What sort of things would you say? The journalists would say Skimbleshanks has traditionally been played by a man. How does it feel to be forging a new path for Skimbleshanks being the first female railway cat? Yeah, I'd say get with the program. It's 2020.

What a fucking thoughtful response. What about you guys? What do you think you are? Well, in the interest of sort of casting a wider net. Yeah, I'd soon to be cast because I feel like Skimbleshanks would be my first choice just because I like his song the best. Yeah, I think you could be there. But I don't want to be. In the interest of all of us being different cats.

You're a cat who cannot be ignored, though. I am a cat who cannot be ignored. I love it when he says that. Glaring error, by the way, that I spotted today. I didn't notice that all the cats are given tap shoes. There's sort of this fanciful moment where the wall of the Egyptian comes down and Skimbleshanks taps his way onto a railway that sort of crosses the thames in front of

westminster and big ben and all of the other cats trail him and at this point somehow they've all magically started wearing tap shoes yeah which that makes sense because you can hear that their feet tapping becomes part of the percussion but then there's one point where they're all lying down so there's the two you know metal rails along it and then there's the wood underneath them and they're lying on the wood with their feet up on the metal and you can see one of them has both of their shoes on and then there's a move where they'll lift their legs to spin to stand up and when the cat lifts their legs off the the metal rail one of the shoes like one of the projections the shoes just disappears completely from their foot

until they put it back down on the wood when it just magically reappears again. It's a glaring error. Yeah, it's nuts. I'm sure I saw it. But Skimbleshanks, in the interest of this, is off the table. Okay. I think one of you will have to be Mungo Jerry then.

Who is it? I think it's you. Yeah, I wouldn't mind being some fucking some ruckus yeah and then tim maybe you're mr mistoffelees i was gonna say i feel a bit mistoffelees in this sure i'm the film mistoffelees and okay and then if we could roll your memory back to before you'd seen the film

and you had probably a deeper relationship to the cats as you understood them who would everyone in the room be in that instance okay

if we're going really theatrical you're Gus okay nice because he's like so old and he comes out like shaky

so old yeah so old just like you guys no but like if we're doing theater yeah oh i want to see play yeah yeah you want to see me as gus yeah yeah yeah i like that yeah and then um i want to see tim as monk strap cool yeah like that and who are you in the original monk strap by the way robert downey the third yeah yeah he did his name i don't think it's said once in the entire movie i'd probably be cast this is not what i want to be cast as but

i'd probably be cast as jenny any dot no i have to say i uh support that and also i'm so devastated that in this fantasy world where you can cast yourself as anyone, you could have been Skimble, Shanks, and Chicken. You begrudgingly give yourself a role that it sounds like you most don't want. I don't want it. I have a gumbie cat in mind. What did you think of Rebel Wilson? No, she was fine. Really? Yeah. I hated her. Yeah. I thought

she was very bad. Yeah, I'd say that she had a fucking rough go of it today. In fact, the whole movie was up against it. They didn't even get a chance to get on the front foot. The audience were back in Cinema 7, which is the bigger of the cinemas we've seen it in, and the audience were scattered. Very

dispersed. In in fact there was a father in front of us and their son i think uh sitting behind us for some reason um cool yeah i guess so and there was a conversation going on like above us through the film we're like you know what realistically we've seen this four times already bring on the convo this is adding it was so crazy because there was no notion that they were connected to each other but then as soon as the movie started the first face that was on screen the dad turned and yelled over us to their kid who's that taylor swift and it wasn't it was francesca but it was just as you guys were leaning into your bag to grab something as well so you

like leaned forward and this dad turned around and I was like, oh no. We've kind of been giggling through the trailer spring because we've seen this once or twice now. So we're there to entertain ourselves a little bit. It's not our first

goddamn rodeo. Why do you think that you'd be Jenny AnyDots? I don't know. This is where I traditionally get cast. It's that kind of kind of kooky.

Bit silly. Bit silly. There was one number that's not in the movie that I miss from the original, which you guys may or may not be aware of. Definitely won't be. It's Mungunstrap's song. It's his own song.

It's not about him, but it's called The Peaks and the Pollicles, and they all pretend to be dogs. That would be quite a lot of fun to see. It's about bulldogs versus poodles effectively And in the musical All the cats dress up They get like rubbish and make themselves look like

Big bulldogs versus little poodles And then they like have a battle That's fun What did you say the peaks and the Is pollicle a word? I don't know They make up a lot of language I think pollicles

Because I was doing some research into the origins of Jellicle Cat. Yeah. Polycle is a... I don't even know what... It's like an abbreviated colloquial sort of shortening of poor little dog. And Jellicle is...

Dame Juliette actually says it at the end. She says you're a Jellicle cat A dear little cat And Jellicle is the cat equivalent of Pollicle What the fuck? That's amazing I'm learning

Yeah so that's what a Jellicle cat I mean they also go to the great trouble of detailing All of the different ways This is like ancient Anglo language No this would be T.S. Eliot fucking around with words Oh okay gotcha gotcha But yeah And so

I assume that the Polycle is It would be from The same book of poems And maybe just a Counterpoint Ah yes Sort of

You could look at it As the original text That inspired the Great movie Cats vs. Dogs And perhaps even The popular Nickelodeon animated show

Cat Dog Which dared to Ask the question What if a cat and a dog were one siamese twins yeah i um would also like to say one thing i noticed in this movie is you're made to feel and they want you to think that there are a lot of jellicle cats that jellicle cats sort of are one of the widest reaching groups of cats in london if not the world but if you think about it in terms of how many cats there are not just in london if not the world but if you think about it in terms of how many cats there

are not just in london but anywhere and how few there are only 30 this is like a very hardcore sect of a cult we're in london yeah only 30 cats show up for your big fucking night out this is like on the fringes of society this is some pretty freaky hardcore shit if you heard your friend was messing around with the Jellicles, you'd be like, don't go there. I'm pretty sure they kill someone annually. They're like the Manson family. They call themselves the family.

Well, maybe they do kill someone. Maybe they kill, what's her face? Jennifer Hudson. Grizabella. Well, what's your understanding of the Heaviside Lair? Dead, dead, dead. Gone to heaven, dead. Not coming back.

That's a nice little poem. Not coming back. I reckon my read on is probably what they don't, I don't think they say this in the thing, but it's, yeah.

Oh, because they do say you're reborn, but I'm like, that's the end of your seven lives. They get nine lives. Are you sure that you didn't accidentally rent a VHS of street cats from the library? Do you know,

I'm desperately, as you guys are chatting, trying to find, there's a song that I really wanted to bring up the lyrics for that old Deuteronomy sings. It's kind of like an in-betweeny song about, she says the word explanation and presentation a lot and it's just it comes after the new song ghosts so grizzly bella sings memories and then in response she goes to leave and then responds victoria sings ghosts that talent what do you think of that song

i actually quite liked it to be honest i thought it's i think they matched the musical really well but i don't like victoria being a lead character at all did you did you like the before francesca's performance as victoria no why because i don't like that character i mean i it's it's what's victoria's role in the original all she is she doesn't sing like she sings in the chorus she doesn't have any songs all she is is she's the like i guess the principal dancer and also the con the the sort of conduit through through which and also the conduit through which like the entry point for the audience because this is a very hardcore as we've said sort of sect of skinhead cats and then one new cat shows up and then everyone sort of circles that cat.

And then all of a sudden we're in the world of the Jellicles. Who was your, from the musical you saw, your Jellicle choice? That's for you, Bryn. From the original, not from the movie. I mean, you're in the advantageous position of being able to make two Jellicle choices okay I choose in this movie

Grizabella in the original the one that I saw, Grizabella's quite scary really? there's more overlap between Grizabella and Macavity yeah in this one are they more closely associated? There's more overlap between Grizabella and Macavity. Yeah. Yeah.

And this one. Are they more closely associated? Do you see Grizabella sort of cavorting around with Macavity in the... No, they made that up. Really? So what is Grizabella in the musical? Is she just a faded former star? Yeah, she's a faded former star.

She has no connection to Macavity in the slightest. Wow. Macavity's just a baddie. why is she cast out then from the jellicles is that you've kind of gotten into never you know what i love about this fucking production is that andrew lewis weber is just like yeah fuck up yeah you know what i mean like the bit where it really struck me was gus the theater cat singing about portraying this whole other character which is called oh i bought i brought it up i'm so sick of hearing suey mckellen i stuck up for his diction and to be fair he does well with a very confusing name but gus the theater cat talks about you know his greatest achievement which was playing uh fire for fiddle the Fiend of the Fell. And so at the end of his song, he always says,

When I was fire, Fro, Fiddle, the Fiend of the Fell. And then on the boat, he channels that character again, this fearful character, to scare Growltiger off the plank. Seems like a Dracula-type character. He's a little like, ah, kind of scary. So you're saying Andrew Lloyd Webber gave the movie permission to suck. What I love about Andrew Lloyd Webber is he first of all just got this completely nonsensical idea of there's a bunch of cats and they're fucking around and they're all trying to get to heaven, which is through a cult leader. That's the show.

But then on top of that, don't ask any questions. I'm going to add like all these weird little just hints at backstories but not go into them to the point where there's this thing called the fee-fied fiddle the fear of fucking whatever and it's just taken as read that you don't need to know about it and i kind of it's such confident storytelling that i'm like yeah fucking cool man yeah you're so confident yeah and that's the confidence of the original musical right and that's just poems and that's where confidence of the original musical, right? It's just poems. And that's where the movie does run into problems is because in making it, of course, they're spending $100 million so they had to pick a few things up and look at them and say,

well, what's this? And then as soon as they say, what's this? They aren't just ignoring it and being like, don't worry about that. No one's going to look at that. They're like, oh, no, everyone's going to look at this. We have to qualify this. Is this the right analogy? It's like having fine china. You can never eat off it because you're too nervous that you're going to look at this. We have to qualify this. Is this the right analogy? It's like having fine china.

You can never eat off it because you're too nervous that you're going to drop it and break it. But your crappy old plates you have a great time with. It's not perfect. Can you round out the metaphor for me, please? No, that's much like Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's all you're going to get. I fully believe in this analogy.

The way you backpedaled suggested you didn't have total belief but I'll give it a pass. I'll tell you what, there's a combination of factors which include the fact that we've seen cats five times, that we smoked a little bit of weed before we went in and it is unspeakably hot in this room that is making for a cool

fever dream feel to this episode of our week with cats. I am building up a very thick film of sweat beneath this layer of clothes. I feel bad for Brim, but I feel hilarious that I'm trapping you in this environment. It's like we're in an infrared sauna. The heat is coming from inside of

my body. So good. Tim, who is your Jellicle choice today? Fuck. Okay, you're going to hate this, but maybe I would just have to back it rum tum tugger oh yeah nice which i think shows a level of like self-hatred that i'm experiencing in the movie or just displeasure with the whole experience now it's almost like i'm lashing out subconsciously we've kind of blacklisted a few of the cats brunn In the series so far We do not get behind Rum Tum Tugger

He's a villain, we don't like him It's the song I've got a huge problem with the way that song is arranged and presented In the original it's kind of similar There's a bit where he swings his hips And all the women are like I don't mind that It's just like this

The song sucks They set up the game of the song And then just hammer at it for what feels like 10 minutes. I've had out against Rebel Wilson every episode to the point where I now feel pretty bad about it. I would like to say I felt sincerely bad for Rebel Wilson when watching her performance,

the way it was received by the audience today. So you know when there are a few lines which get it, I mean, you know when you go to a movie five times in a row at the cinema, Brinley, and so there are a few lines. get it i mean you know when you go to a movie five times in a row at the cinema brinley and so there are a few lines oh no yeah except for spice world do you know what the best lines from spice world yeah who cares if the spice girls find a cure for deja vu who cares if the spice girls find a cure for deja vu do you know what the second best line in the movie is is okay here's the plan the band will start up the lights will come up and i will walk center stage and hang myself

you transported me back there yeah um but so i've totally forgot did we get your jellicle choices yeah well yeah for the for for the movie it's Grizabella. Yeah, right. She deserves it. She deserves it. And for the musical, it's going to go to Munkerstrap because he's hot. Yeah, sorry. Yes, excellent. Munkerstrap barely, I mean, Munkerstrap doesn't have a song. Is this the role of Munkerstrap?

There's that song in the thing, but sort of a driving force. He's definitely not going for the Jellicle choice, but I'm going to choose him. He seems happy within himself in the world of the cats. Yeah, he's kind of a leader. Robbie Fairchild, by the way. We've never learned his name

and I feel like he deserves it because he does a good job. Robbie Fairchild, is that... I hope that's his name now. Is that man an actor or a dancer? He's a dancer.

Dancer first. So is Skimble Shanks. Have you seen his picture on IMDb? No. It's just like a stunning ballet shot, basically. Skimble Shanks. Have you seen his picture on IMDb? No. It's just like a stunning ballet shot, basically. Skimble Shanks is a fucking electric dancer.

Everyone who hasn't, but it is incredible to notice. Like, you can notice people if you're not, if you're just a typical Joe Schmo audience member, you don't have any, like, experience in the world of acting, whatever. I feel like you can tell good actors really well. But to be blown away by a dancer in a dance movie like this is rare. And Skimbleshanks is just so incredible. Those three main dancers, Victoria, Skimbleshanks, and...

Robbie Fairchild. Robbie Fairchild. They all have moments every time where I'm just like, fuck, look at what you're doing with your body. It is so cool. But to finish, I remember what I was saying, which was if you go to the same movie five times in a row, there are certain lines that you look at as bankers or moments that you say, this will get a laugh no matter what.

And the rule book was out the fucking window today. All of the bankers were getting nothing. Jason Derulo's sort of worried look in the middle of Mr. Mistoffelees' failures played to deathly silence. The round of applause that we instigate daily was actually picked up on by more people than I thought it would. I'd say there were 20 people in the cinema. I'd say probably five, including us, were applauding.

You're crazy. I reckon there was two. Where's the applause break? We applaud at the end. But there's some pretty obvious applause breaks. at the end. At the end, nice. There's some pretty obvious applause breaks. Whenever the cats are panting like they just fucked when really they danced. Is that what? Is that like a sort of metaphorical or euphemistic presentation of cats having an orgy?

Absolutely. You know when they get into those dance cycles where there's no one forcing them to dance, but they don't appear to be in total control of the decisions they're making. I feel like... Those are the orgies, eh? Yeah, definitely. I feel like they are out of control. It's like they're being commanded by the moon. It's very sexual.

It is a lot like that. Can I... Because the other person I had out at... Oh, yeah, also, I've got to change my Jellicle choice, because I remembered who my actual one is. It's the fucking mouse that falls off Mr. Mistoffelees' hat when he appears. Yeah.

And does such a good tumble. This little kid just goes, Mr. Mistoffelees' hat when he appears. Yeah. And does such a good tumble. This little kid just goes, Mr. Mistoffelees. Because he appears out of nowhere. He's been conjured accidentally from Mr. Mistoffelees from under his hat as he pulls it up. There's these three mice that Rebel Wilson's trained just sitting on his head. And one of them goes, Mr. Mistoffelees, my hero. Oh, no. I'm falling.

Yeah. That mouse does an outstanding job. The other person I've hit out against, but only in a personal kind of a way, is James Corden, because I've heard terrible things about him. And I'd like to read one of the terrible things I've heard about James Corden to validate.

You are shifting the platform of this podcast beneath my very feet. I love it. So this is pure rumor and conjecture. This is just something that got tweeted around a lot. Oh my God, I'm expecting you to say something horrific. But it's pretty entertaining. It's just a little story.

Like he beats his wife. No, no, it's nothing as... Jesus, Brent. No, I wouldn't be sharing that gleefully on the podcast. I don't know what type of podcast it is. It's not. It's about cats, Rue. Half an hour into a New York to London flight,

passengers in business class noticed a woman with a crying baby being brought through the curtains by a flight attendant. They looked on in mild horror as they saw the attendant direct her into an empty seat next to... James Corden. Expecting a huge celebrity hissy fit to kick off, Corden's cabin mates were actually impressed to see that he didn't say a word or make any sort of complaint.

He simply put on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, pulled an eye mask over his eyes, and turned away from her to sleep. Pretty decent of him, right? When the plane landed, though, passengers were surprised to see Corden remain seated as the woman with the baby struggled to open the overhead locker. even more surprised when she turned to cordon and said for fuck's sake can you at least hold the baby while i get the bags down the woman was his wife the baby was his baby That's a very funny The story Like the reveal

Okay So that's what's in my head is James Corden I mean I'm going to look like a bit of a bad guy here But my Jellicle choice today was Buster Fadone I think he does a great job

Every day James Corden knows Exactly who he is in the movie. He understands the tone of the movie. He's the only person, aside from Sir Ian McKellen, who seems totally at ease with it himself whenever he's on screen. He shows up. He sings his little song about being a bloody fat and hungry cat all around London town.

He gets put on the barge. He sits on a beanbag next to Rebel Wilson in front of a green screen. They riff for three days. He fucking cashes his check and goes back to sit on a stool behind a desk in los angeles and present his late night talk show his song is really fun it is fun and i identify with him i'm hungry a lot too could you be you could be busted for james i could i could, instead of Jenny Annie Dots. No, no, you cast yourself as Jenny Annie Dots, and so help me, that's who you are. Well, I don't have any more to say about this movie,

and I said very little, because I have extreme disdain for it. Brinley? I just thought of one other thing that bothers me that is different, and it might interest you. In the musical, they all sing about each other. They don't sing in the first person barely ever. So instead of Bustopher Jones, I'm not. It's like he's not skin and bones,

so they're singing about each other. That makes way more sense because you can have more license to kind of be, it's not self-deprecating, it's they're a bit mean to each other, which is a cool other angle of like, we're friends, but we're sassy. And celebrating each other.

It's just cashing in on celebrity, right? You're right. It's because then you're dealing with a friend group instead of just a bunch of egotistical cats who have to hang out annually to die. How the fuck are you going to win the Jellicle choice if you're just banking on your friends having written, devised, rehearsed and performing a fantastic song about you?

Don't overthink it. This is Andrew Lloyd Webber we're talking about. I would trust you guys to write something nice about me. She's Brunelli Sten and she's crazy for Kent, who's the fucker. Look, I am sort of nervous to say as much, but for the first time in a long time, I don't really feel like a Jellicle cat today. Tim, you have been bumped down from a Jellicle yesterday

to a non-Jellicle cat. And Brinley, do you know what? Even though you don't like the movie, Jellicle runs through your blood. You are a Jellicle. Thank you so much. I'm honoured. It's a privilege and honour and a joy, if I'm honest.

A dear little cat. There is an eight-year-old girl inside you just weeping with joy and acceptance, isn't there? Yeah, absolutely. Is there anything that you would like to direct anyone listening to this podcast towards of yourself that, you know, it might be a show coming up or something that you've got online that you want people to have a look at? Oh, great. Yeah. I mean, I've got two shows coming up. X's in Wellington with my buddy Eli Mathewson.

It's coming up soon. And then my comedy fair show coming up in New Zealand, in Auckland and Wellington in May. Ages away. But please come. I'd love to put some bums on set. What's it called? It's called Soft Carnage and it's a sketch and mime show. Oh, wonderful.

Yeah. I've not seen you do much mime. Yeah. I can't wait. I'm surprised. But my other thing is I would love and encourage everyone who sees the film Cats to just search out the original Broadway production. Give it a watch.

Just put it on in the background. I put on a video of the Skimpleshank song and it scared the shit out of me. Yeah. But in a good way. Thank you so much, Brinley. Thank you for having me. We'll see every one of you tomorrow for episode Meow, Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.