The Worst Idea Of All Time - Non-Live Friendzone 111

Episode Date: December 23, 2020

Welcome to a Friendzone that was originally broadcast LIVE to the internet with VIDEO (on Patreon). It's not live anymore though. In this exciting addition - People are bettering themselves, Hugo is going door to door to pursuing a career in the culinary arts, and the fellaz reveal a little background context on the infamous TWIOAT YouTube pilot! We cannot escape CATS (2019) and Guy is getting confused for the other Guy in Aotearoa New Zealand. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, it's the Friend Zone with Tim and Guy. It's the Friend Zone. We're gonna have a good time. It's the Friend Zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time. Friend Zone. Kia ora everyone and welcome along to oh there we go now okay cool that's what i was that number was zero before now it's four people are here that means we're on the internet baby yeah you guys didn't see it but uh tim worked his tail off to make it this far this guy has built uh i mean i know we're watching emmanuel in space but it looked like bloody tim in space when i got in here the way was uh pushing the buttons on the control panel and guiding... I'm going to shoot you over here for this microphone if it's okay. Yeah, it's okay.

Guiding the spaceship of podcasting safely to Earth, where we are now being broadcast via satellites that are also in space, where we just... We're probably going to stay out there. We should have stayed out there. It's no good on Earth anymore. Did David Bowie say that once? Like, let's all fuck off into space?

That was his kind of... I reckon you could probably find a Bowie quote for most things. And a lot of them would be off the record. Have you ever said that to someone? What? Off the record? This is off the... Like to a journalist?

Have you been talking? And then you said, this is... Yeah, I have actually. Strictly off the record. I haven't said it like quite that. But I'm like, this is off the record. What was the thing? You can tell us. I can't remember it like quite that, but I'm like, this is off the record. What was the thing? You can tell us.

I can't remember. Probably Chloe's stuff though. Yeah. When I was talking to people, but they don't care in New Zealand. They just quote you at all times. Not you. Do they say a source?

Yeah. A staffer? They didn't say me. They said someone else. A close pal? Hey, that's what would upset me to be a celebrity would be to be betrayed by my betrayed by someone familiar with the situation.

Yeah, you, i.e. you. The only reason that I'm letting you be familiar with the situation is because we're close. And for you to use this information against me and sell it to NW Magazine? Hi, friends who are joining us live. Oh, Tom Katsumi is here. Fantastic.

Someone called uh or calling themselves bop bop 3000 very cool to have you here and uh in a in a chris as well kudos on the absolutely insane time of recording live um that's okay i don't know where you are if that relates like a specific time zone thing for you it's different times in different places for us this is tricky 10 43 a.m shall i should we check in with each other or should we check in with our friends first i i think we should check in with each other because i arrived here but you were so busy we didn't even uh actually do a hello how are you i was doing a horrible job of hospitabizing you but but you're doing a fantastic job of um i don't think that's true either i've

had to construct such such an elect here's the problem with the stream i've always struggled with that because i'm rebuilding the entire thing each time i do it because there's not enough room in the studio for me to have like a permanent thing set up so i have to like start from scratch every time most people don't do that i do you know what that's really good context for me and the other friends because i do often i think um i admire your technical know-how and ability to create studios anywhere at the drop of a hat and well the drop of a hat is where i'll stop you because i i started setting this up an hour and a half ago and it should have been easy should have been easier than this but you did it and look there's so many cords here and it must be frustrating to work with

a luddite such as myself although i am very good at getting up and retrieving physical things and bringing them to you you're the best i'm like a dog in that respect there's so many dogs here we got three dogs on the property right now myself included no oh you're not a dog whose dog who's the third dog uh we've got graham's dog here buster who's jane's partner oh wonderful this is the thing about new zealand our houses are pretty expensive so we all have to huddle together like some wanderers into a fire to um protect ourselves against a blistering winter so we all come together and because we're too poor we all have dogs and cactuses instead of children now

even though we're in our 30s dogs are expensive and tricky around the cactus because they're not a good mix dog may be man's best friend but cactus is certainly not dog's best friend do you look at a cactus as a dog's problem or a dog is a cactus's problem?

I feel in this very animal-centric world we live in, the perspective we have, that the cactus is a dog's problem. Wow, the more you know. But maybe if I did more mescaline, i.e. any. I've never done it before. I've done a lot of it. Have you? Yeah.

How was it? It was so good. Did it make you feel how was it it's so good did it make you feel more um cactus centric like you would you would then be more uh sympathetic to the idea that that actually dogs are a cactus problem probably in the moment or that they're at least on equal footing rather than sort of favoring one because i can relate to their version of sentience more i wouldn't be able to to distinguish the specifics of the hallucinogenic high from anything else that you might try, your mushrooms or your LSD.

But it tastes awful. You hack it up, you boil it down, and it is one of the most vile tastes that you can imagine. And a lot of my friends, I never actually threw up from it, but you throw it back up and they say that's when the trip begins. I keep it down and I get gassy. Oh, God. god a bit of a purge nothing will make you feel higher than a trip to the bathroom you know how many like yeah our universe is the experience where you're in the bathroom and even if you maybe you're sitting down on the toilet and you think okay everything

feels a bit different from normal and then you go and you're washing your hands and you look in the mirror and then that's the sort of the cliched moment where you're like i'm high because you're looking at your face and you think is that my is that my face yeah mirror i don't think mirrors are a good idea when you're tripping a and every bathroom has a mirror that's probably why there's such high danger zones i would do you know what would be really thoughtful if you're going to maybe like host some friends over and you know people are going to be tripping out, put like a matte finish on all the mirrors. So what? Like a frosting.

And don't tell anyone. No, no, no. You can tell. No, no, no. Don't tell anyone. Let them know. Oh, my God. I've gone in soft focus.

Well, I guess this is me now. I'm never coming down. Hey, so thanks for being here, people who are here. This is, I mean, I was threatening to make this a regular thing, but honestly, off the back of how this morning's gone, I cannot imagine this being regular. This is too fucking hard. But, you know, maybe I'll get better at it the more I keep doing it.

I should know this off the back of happening, you know, like how to do this by now. But in happening, you had a more semi-permanent arrangement it's true but still truth be told because it's being recorded as an audio podcast if this was purely a video product you could kind of rebuild the studio because the the garage or the car hole as i like to call it the car hole a great spot through the summer because the warmer season there'd be less mold mold, less mildew. It's full of wood. You've been down there recently? No. Neither have I, and I live here.

Why'd you put all that wood in there? It's completely full of wood because the Green Party of New Zealand doesn't know where to put all this beautiful wood. They don't know where to store it. If anyone would know what to do with wood, it would be the Green Party. I know. Well, it's because they don't want to dispose of it irresponsibly. They want to hold it over for the next three years. The Green Party are treating your garage as a sort of storing place for kindling no this is no no no

it sounds like wrong on two counts green party have a bit of an agenda against t-bat wrong on two counts number one i did this i did this myself this is all me and uh number two it's not kindling it's hoarding wood it's not kindling until it's on fire I'm hoarding the hoarding wood Oh yeah yeah Because it's for hoarding Anyway Okay Folks Let's get to some of our friends eh Okay

Should we do that? I gotta This shot's not great eh I might just Nudge it a tiny bit He's gonna change the shot everyone No it's not And while he does that

I've got a great Gee What was that? Gee whiz I don't know what's going on I've got a great message That I'd like to read here. It's taken the form of a very long Twitter DM to TwioatPod,

which is a Twitter account. Actually, also, before I read the long one, I got a short message from Cody Forks, who's an animator. He's a friend of the podcast who said, pronounce it Twioat, and to that I said never. Regards, Guy. who said pronounce it twioat and to that i said never regards guy so this is at twioat pod that's twioat pod on twitter if you want to find us and it's got a four a three prescripts it's pre pre prescript i send you the same message on facebook but it seems that it didn't get sent properly for some reason so i'm also doing it on twitter pre prescript sorry for the length on this if you

don't want to read it on the zone, I understand. Prescript to say my name. If you want me to cry, tears of happiness. Well, well, well. If it isn't the Frosty Fellows, Timbo and Guy.

Guy, my favorite boys from NZ. It's us. My name is Hugo. Hi, Hugo. I'm a 25 year old Portuguese boy With a voracious appetite for podcasts I started listening to you tasty boys About a year and a half ago

And only now have I managed to catch up to the potty And oh boy Have we been on a journey together And I didn't It's Hugo listening to the entirety In a year and a half, no less. It's too much. We've held his hand through the challenging days of 23 and a half

to the halcyon days of 25. I went through a huge amount of personal growth in that period of my life. It's a time ripe for personal growth. What was going on with you? In terms of your traditional markers for life, it's a bit of a nothing period. No one thinks anything of the 23, 24, 25 birthdays or whatever. But you took it by the horns and went,

I am going to grow. I became a professional. I turned comedy into my full-time vocation. I think I developed a deeper sense of ease and comfort within myself, which in turn made it a lot easier for me to approach others with an open mind and a welcoming air. What did it for you? Was there a catalyst? Was there a great book involved?

Was there a chat with a panel? No, I famously never read a book nor held a conversation. Wow. It's just a decision I made. That's cool. Anyway, Hugo continues, I don't, and he said, if we've been on a journey together,

and I don't just mean you're descending to madness by watching not too many movies, but definitely too much movies, but am I in too, as I listened to said descent. And that's what this message is about. It's a funny reminder. It has been too many and too much. It's true.

My story is you keep me company. And that's what this message is about. My story is you keep me company whilst ascending. It all began while I was in my last year of vet school. A vet? Come on in, a vet. No, just joking around there, fun with words. We've got to respect the vets.

That's right. It all began. Never forget. While I was in my, that's right, yeah. I'm tired of these these uh animal doctors and their stolen valor i was in my last year of vet school all i had to do to graduate was to do an internship and write my thesis due to some miscommunications and scheduling issues i didn't do jack shit for six months and so started listening to a little podcast

yeah it's a big one i like taking your foot off the gas midway through a course or whatever, but six months, that's a good holiday. That's a good break. The worst idea of all time. So that's when he started listening to the worst idea of all time. I was like to call it the best idea of all Tim and Guy. I love that. Also, I started cooking.

Several months later, as I finished the internship, I felt completely unmotivated to write the thesis, so I didn't. I'd realized that my true passion was cooking. Cool. Cooking. So, much to the dismay of my mother, I became a college dropout and got a job in a bakery.

It was tiring, but I never felt more fulfilled in my life. Isn't this incredible? If you think about it, I haven't proofread this, but to foreshadow this incredible moment of personal growth through my own journey, if I could say that, and then to hear Hugo using our podcast as a conduit through which he has accessed a similar journey. Unbelievable!

Then, as you know, things descended all over the world, which meant that I got laid off and stayed unemployed for the next four months. On the upside, I had more time to listen listen to podcasts including one where two cute boys descend into madness which at the time i could particularly relate as i too was descending i i really enjoy being called cute these days i get a lot out of it after four months due to a failing of useless a feeling of uselessness and desperation i ended up working as a door-to-door salesman during the fucking pandemic how smart is that shit did you go drop where he's living portugal oh true so after a month of feeling

awful and questioning what i was doing with my life and realizing i'd only be happy with working with something food related i quit my job after some time not being able to get a new job in the culinary arts i ended up working as a real estate agent. Gee whiz. You guys getting it done. This motherfucker's taking us on a journey. Absolutely. I met two dudes who'd just opened a sushi restaurant about 50 metres from my house.

The next day, I quit my job again and asked them if they would hire me. I like that you did it in that order. We are your friends. We are your friends. Welcome aboard. Quit the job and then let the fact that you really need this shine through in your desperate eyes unfortunately since they're a very small and new business they couldn't afford to hire me so he settled with an internship which two weeks later became a paid internship and now i've been working there for about two months i've been learning a lot and i consider the owners as basically family by this

point and hopefully by next year they're able to hire me full-time. I haven't felt this undescended, or in other words, happy, since the pandemic started. Well, if travel is ever safe again and you guys enjoy good sushi, I want to formally invite you and all the cool listeria to come eat over at Aru Sushi in Lisbon, Caniside. And now I'm here writing this whilst my dog has taken a poo that I'm going to have to pick up in a few seconds.

And that's the moral of the story. Pick up your dog shit, everyone. That's from Hugo. Was that from Hugo? Yeah, the whole thing. The pick up your dog shit? Because I took a lot of lessons from that beautiful story. And the picking up your dog shit is, I guess, relevant.

But not even in my top three. That was a fantastic story, thank you, Hugo. Hugo, your life is a great story. We need to option it. Someone should turn it into a movie, what's happened over the last two years. The only constant has been this strange, accented pear from the other side of the world.

Portugal is a long way from New Zealand. We are different cultures. Portugal is actually the exact, if you drove a stake that was the length of the earth. I've heard that about a lot of different places. I know. It's in Alice in Wonderland. Where did she start?

And she goes through to the other side of the world and ends up in New Zealand. I think New Zealand back then was just a catch-all for the furthest place you could think of. Is it truly Portugal? I've heard Portugal. furthest place you could think of. No, I think... Is it truly Portugal? I've heard Portugal, but then also, actually,

I was recently in Arrowtown, which is in the south of the South Island. Beautiful Arrowtown. And there's a restaurant there called Aosta. And Aosta is a town in northern Italy. And the reason that this restaurant's called Aosta is that Aosta shares exactly to Arrowtown the latitude and longitude.

Inverted. Yeah. Does that mean if you drove a stake through Arrowtown and God willing, one day I will, it would get to Italy? Yes, to Aosta. And a cool thing is that because of that exactitude of the two locations,

that a lot of the local ingredients... Longitude, latitude, exactitude. That's right. The three things you need to figure out where you are. A lot of the ingredients they use at this restaurant, Aosta, are the same fresh ingredients that are frequently... Like, the food is all cooked in a Northern Italian style using ingredients that are available both in Arrowtown and in Aosta.

Isn't that a good hook for a restaurant? This is the kind of fun you can have when you're rich. That's right. I'm going to open a restaurant which is specifically geared to the opposite position of where I am in the world. Yes. It's going to be a lot of fun. And a lot of work. A lot of work.

We sure hope people come, but if they don't, it's okay. These pockets? No, no bounds. There's fucking respect. You know what? I'm so disparaging of... The wealthy? Yeah, definitely.

I stand by that. High net worth individuals? No, it's more like high tier culinary stuff, which is both a disrespect to myself and to Hugo. I am so nervous about that water next to the desk. Should I be? No. I'm freaking out over nothing.

It was there before you were nervous yeah and it'll be there long after i am it'll be there i mean if you're gonna be nervous the whole time i can move it nah i like it it keeps me on my toes okay um hugo shout out to you i've got a message here from george hey boys hope you're both doing well just wanted to ask a little more about the story behind the youtube pilot i saw you replying to someone in the video comments telling a story about how you were shown around by the production crew and they assumed you'd be staying in a hotel nearby. I thought it was really funny and interesting to hear a little bit more about behind the scenes of the project.

Have you got any other good stories about the making and filming of the show? I think the pilot is incredible and it's a damn shame that it didn't get picked up. So I'd love to hear a little more about what went on behind the scenes and when the cameras were not rolling. I'm loving the new season, and it's been a real dream to continue to have you both making podcasts

and keeping us going as this year continues to be a bit grim. All the best, George Service. You can say my name if you want. I was just checking. Congrats. Well, Georgeorge anecdotally behind the scenes what you didn't see was us making up for lost time that was spent shooting

by watching teenage mutant ninja turtles out of the shadows uh sad tell you what there really was what you see is what you get on that show wasn't it what you didn't see was i had a um and this is this is some real you know in the actors studio and tell stuff i had a, and this is some real, you know, in the actors' studio type stuff. I had a, the only refuge we had was I had a small, and the production didn't know and weren't to know, and aren't to know about this, but I had a small weed vape. Oh, that's true. And so we had that for company through the nights if we wanted.

I mean. But there was no time for it during the day. It was, yeah, just sort of to unwind when everyone had knocked off for the day and we were just sleeping in the sewer. We were just genuinely sleeping there, yeah. It is a shame because all of the behind-the-scenes anecdotes are represented on screen. We ate nothing but pizza.

Yeah, I think it was more like what they decided to pay attention to or not is kind of interesting because for my money, not quite enough was made of the fact that we ate nothing but pizza because we did that. And to the detriment of the quality of the show, you're not getting enough protein. You're not getting enough of the stuff that your body needs to operate at a high capacity. We're depleted of vitamin D because we couldn't come to the surface. We were mole people for the um majority of the time we only went out at night so we had no natural light and um very little nourishment in terms of certain essential vitamins amino acids minerals the other thing that i thought they didn't focus on enough was the flood that happened on that last

day yeah there was a genuine flood down there they got a bit of it on camera but i mean it's The other thing that I thought they didn't focus on enough was the flood that happened on that last day. Yeah, there was a genuine flood down there. They got a bit of it on camera. But, I mean, it's difficult, isn't it? You're making a pilot, so you've really got to put the most far-reaching, your widest, most broadly accessible foot forward. There's so much footage.

There must have been. That's right, yeah. I mean, do you know, the more time passes, the more pride I feel for that pilot. I know. It's a regret that it didn't go as well. Yeah, a regret of YouTube Reds. Yeah, fucking A.

Still thriving, though. That really gets my goat. No, it doesn't. Yeah, absolutely. It packed up. I watch a lot of videos on that. Now, this message is from Facebook now. This one reads as follows greetings fellas i've always wanted to write into the friend zone but

never had anything to say until much to my delight you started talking about fucking kangaroos that is um there's two ways to interpret that and i want to be very clear that uh they were when the way it's written and what we were talking about was having sex with kangaroos not sort of like oh these bloody kangaroos we're talking about fucking kangaroos i should clarify that i have zero experience with human kangaroo sexual relations but i do have three-fourths of a biology degree, so I am qualified to let you know that female kangaroos have, count them, one, two, three vaginas. That's a lot.

So well done to you, I guess. That's all I've got. Feel free to read this on a friend zone and say my name. Love, Kira. Kira? Kira. Hard to say. K-I-R-a kira kira kira kira i do kira kira i hardly know her yeah i care a lot about that now tim you're having sex with a kangaroo the kangaroo's got three vaginas you and the kangaroo are talking and the kangaroo says

tim i want you to pay equal attention to every vagina how do you feel about that prospect i mean i'm so much to be freaked out by first i'm fucking a kangaroo i don't know what's leaving me there seeking the kangaroo starts talking to me i would i would hope that the kangaroo would start talking to you before you're fucking the kangaroo me too i don't know what's happened i can't think of much more alarming than you just having sex with the kangaroo and then the kangaroo goes hey what the fuck do you think you're doing and i'm like oh no look man i can't get past the fact that i'm fucking a kangaroo to kind of enter into the thing i'm sorry and i'm trying i really am i'm trying to

enter the spirit of of what you've constructed here, but you want me to kind of try and figure out where these two other vaginas would be? No, no. You don't need to worry about it. Just for the record, I would gladly and capably service all three kangaroos' vaginas without so much as batting an island. Okay. But I guess that's just the kind of guy I am. I guess it is.

My week with cats with Laura Daniels. John Wright, say my name. It's John Preble. Is it still Preble if it's one E? Yep. Preble. Say my name. Hello.

Guymont Timbat. So Laura says Jennifer Hudson sucks as the singer of Memories. Who sings it well that we can hear? I don't think she said so in her episode, and she sounds very smart about such things it might be it might know a real good play of it thanks john from josie uh i would probably recommend the original um cats broadway record cast recording on spotify who it is i don't know i don't know who it is. But if you look up Spotify,

you'll get what you know. What's her name again? Who? Jennifer. The cat. Oh. I can't remember. Esmeralda?

No. We've got to get this without. No, no, no. All right. Grizabelle. Oh, nice. Thank you. Shit, I would not have got that.

Oh, no. I love cats. And I still get people messaging me telling me it's a bad movie. Grizabella. The role of Grizabella was originated by Elaine Page, who is a stalwart of the musical theatre scene. You know that, do you?

Yeah. I've pulled up her wiki, but... You're a big Broadway guy. Wait a minute. Is Elaine Page Referenced in Sex and the City 1? No In short?

No For some reason Betty Buckley Originated the role In the 82 Broadway production Earning the 83 Tony For Best Featured Actress I'm going to go out in a limb

And say it's most likely That Betty Buckley is the one on the um recording but have a have a check out i don't know we should ask laura daniel yeah we should do you want to is anyone because people are listening to this of course but uh famously also watching this is any is there any correspondence that we should be addressing head-on from those people who are with us right now live and in the room i'm tracking it all right wonderful yeah if you have any questions please put live and in the room. Oh, I'm tracking it. All right, wonderful. If you have any questions,

please put it through in the chat. We can absolutely put it through. They were tickled with the pizza detail. Someone said, Tom said, just noticed Guy's shirt. Oh, that's sick. Oh, we're wearing,

we're both wearing that. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's cool. I found a really good Simpsons merch store online and i i uh i bought simpsons merch from it guy bought me this t-shirt it's the kind of crazy guy i am and then i wore it on um a televised comedy performance which is going to air in new zealand just before christmas and they got upset at me after the fact but i still my migrate no before okay they were like hey man we literally only said one thing in the email and that is don't wear bright white and i rocked up with

this t-shirt i was like hey guys is this okay for wardrobe and they were like no tim this is gonna make our job really difficult and i said but i really like this T-shirt. A guy bought it for me. I like to think it was both of those pieces of information working in perfect synchronicity that got it over the line. Question from the live chat from Chris. Question, guy. Tell me what you think about me. Yes. When is there another season of your Crashing Roommates series with Carlos Ritchie happening? That is hosting.

I like calling him Carlos. I will be doing that for the entirety of the next season uh we don't have a set date yet actually we were going to do one remotely but it's sort of you know things can get away from you it can be difficult to get on top of these things and uh carlo has moved to the blue mountains i think he's got a lot of um people he needs to get away from so he's taking a moment out there about an hour and 15 minutes out of central sydney so uh perhaps he could host me in the remote hinterland of um rural new south wales away from any prying eyes or ears and god knows what

sort of mischief he could get up to as a host guy honestly it's a real shame all of this is happening at the moment limiting our travel because the blue mountains are so beautiful oh yeah and there's a big mythical cat in there really a jungle cat i like that you know i do you know that when i was um about 19 i started writing a feature film out of nowhere it was about there's a rumored to be a big cat in the central plateau of the south island yes um canterbury cat the canterbury cat and the story was about two uh two best friends one of them was about to go overseas and the last thing they were doing before one of the friends left was that they were going to go on a um on a hunting or not a hunting trip but they were going to go and camp out in the middle of rural

Canterbury to try and find this cat. And in doing that, they accidentally trespass on a farmer's property. And so you've got this great game of cat and mouse where the two best friends are trying to trace the cat and the farmers are trying to trace the two best friends. And the farmers,

they lay a trap and they accidentally catch the cat. This is so good. Yeah. You should have opened that back up. Never finished that. And I probably buried the record somewhere. But you've still got the synopsis.

No, no, I've forgotten all of it. Oh, shit. I know, it's a real shame. I've got one here from Andy. Oh, yeah, sorry, quick shout out. Tom said that, saw Carlo in a beer pack in London. If you ever get the chance to see the beer pack perform live or recorded, they should get a Netflix DLA.

They did. ABC in Australia recorded a bunch of comedy, and they recorded a beer pack show, but they did it in a way which compromised the integrity of the product uh so it didn't it was not the it was not that brilliant distillation of the beer pack that it should be do you know i would love to um direct a video production of a beer pack live performance well there you go i mean it's it's because i think it's so important to capture its and, right? On the cello

Yes In a very particular way Well, I can tell you this If you're interested in the beer pack And obviously watching live performance right now Particularly outside of your own country is very difficult But they also released a beer pack podcast So you can listen to Carlo and his co-performer Steen Raskopoulos

In audio form. I didn't know that. If you look up the Bear Pack podcast. Hell yeah, I'm going to get that in me. What a treat. Hey, have you watched the Aunty Donna Netflix series? In its entirety, Tim. Fuck, I'm going again.

It's really funny. I loved it. It's really, really funny. God, I'm so stoked that they nailed it, you know? They really did. Because when those filthy americans get their money grubby hands on a on a great comedy product from an improv troupe that have honed their skills over many years well they're a sketch they're a sketch troupe they

were oh sorry that's true it's sketch troupe it's um it is possible to break the magic but um they didn't they captured they captured the magic even enhanced it even fuck it's good that sweet Netflix budget made magic happen anyway well done to egg house this one reads hey boys checking in here from

Otutahi fresh after the disappointing results of our referendum or 4-20-2020 as I've been calling it I was hanging out with my mum just after the results were announced in the car

heading to a nice family dinner when she announced Guy montgomery is on radio new zealand's panel talking about it right now imagine my delight to hear that the frosty fellas had representation on radio new zealand traditionally a serious radio station smash cut to my immense disappointment to hear not seasoned stoner guy montgomery but comedy hack Guy Williams, running his mouth with his typical congenial conviction and disgustingly well-researched arguments. I turned the radio off and the rest of the car ride was spent in silence. All jokes aside, love a bit of Williams, but I know where my Guy loyalties lie.

Don't ever stop bro-ing me. Your pal Andy. Thanks, bro. This has been a constant feature, think of your comedy career there's two tall white funny men in new zealand of the same age called guy one is guy williams one is guy montgomery and they have different styles but because they're both very visible and very funny, people sometimes get them confused. I got called. I hosted a show.

I put on a show last night. I hosted a show. With Laura Daniel. Laura Daniel was in the show. And Pax went last. And when he was leaving the stage, he said, give it up for your host, not deliberately, Guy Williams.

And I was like, what the fuck have I got to do? That is quite devastating I get emails from the the bookers of the few television shows available to comedians in New Zealand yeah saying do you want to do this show and I say yes and they say sorry wrong guy and I say okay I will take this once but if you do again, I'm showing up to the record, because that is insane. Yeah. That is a very high level of ineptitude, which is what happens when you've got two people working on all the TV shows. You need an agent to be fielding all those emails, because that's psychologically just too harmful for you to be taking them.

I have an agent to field those emails. They're trying to email Guy Williams directly. They've fucked up twice. Guy Williams has got an agent to fill those emails. They're trying to email Guy Williams directly. They've fucked up twice. Guy Williams has got an agent too, I assume. Come on. Put it together, people. Here's another message. Why is this taking a while to load?

Andrew writes, Timbo Jenkins and Guy Fawkes Montgomery. I'm 9pm into election night and thus way too many slash just enough drinks deep i popped in a tallow jar glass from the counter uh to a wooden floor with an indifferent thud and remembered how you talked about these things lasting past the cockroaches i see this glass will outlast us all i have no idea how this particular slow moving apocalypse will end but you'll know regards from the past say my name andrew i get it because we're reading this in the future that's cool

those fucking glasses man they were thick and they had a big old bottom fat bottom nutella glasses i they must they must be around still i don't know where they all ended up. Probably a secondhand store in Thames. I associate the Nutella glasses with the thinner, being a bit thinner. Oh. On the bottoms. You're getting on that, mate. Can you show me how big you're imagining the glass to be? Oh, the glass itself is annoyingly small. Yeah.

They're kind of stout. They're about that tall, and they're little. I reckon they'd hold about 230 mils i've always thought that they were like the bottom was proportionally thick to the rest of the glass but you know what tim what the fuck would i know wait that's what i'm saying wait it was thick or wasn't thick proportionately it was the appropriate level of thickness i thought it was quite a thick yeah i thought it was chunky. Like a Tumblr sort of a deal. You and me, we used to be together always. All right, this one here reads as follows. Is there any way that you think we could get some of those Nutella jars that are unmarked and put Worst Idea branding on them?

Oh, can I tell you something? No. Okay, what's the message? Hi, I'm drunk again and I associate alcohol with you because every time I've ever drank, you something? No. Okay. What's the message? Hi, I'm drunk again and I associate alcohol with you because every time I've ever drank you've been involved. Holy shit.

That is a powerful opening. Anyway, I think I should move. Don't anyway that. That's there anyway. No, I know. Anyway, I think I should move

to New Zealand or Australia because America is not doing it for me at the moment. Too many racism. Plus I'm a lesbian as stated earlier and low-key scared of for me at the moment. Too many racism. Plus I'm a lesbian as stated earlier and low-key scared of my rights. Sorry, but too many racism

is really good. That's fucking funny. What should I do? Are you currently accepting political refugees? Do you know anyone looking to get married but just so their partner

can get citizenship? How's global warming affecting you? Worming. How's global worming affecting you? I don't want to be a political refugee

just to turn into an environmental refugee. You know? Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm usually better at spelling, but the country's in a shambles and so am I, so drinking. Colon, open parenthesis, open parenthesis,

open parenthesis, open parenthesis, open parenthesis. Oh, that's so tantalizing. I feel like there's a little secret buried inside of so many brackets but there isn't the end okay um and that's from katie can we say katie we've said it whoops well i think first names generally they're okay um katie we'd love to have you and as guy and i have uh recently announced on twitter we're in charge of making these calls. So I would like to formally invite you to New Zealand.

Come aboard. We opened the borders. We did. We did it. We're allowed to. Everyone who listens to our podcast is allowed. So just, yeah. Come on in.

And when you get to customs, tell them we sent you. Michael says, hi, Tim. Hi, Guy guy a few friend zones back guy casually wondered how many c-bombs tim has dropped over the years this led me to wonder what other nuggets might be hidden in the worst idea archives so while this whole pandemic nonsense was going on i took a deep dive into season one it's quite hard for me to read for two reasons number one i'm not a great sight reader number two this arm is slightly in the way and number three i'm pretty convinced i need glasses it's been the case for a long time you look becoming in glasses thanks man i'll take you and i'll take zoe when i pick them out so you can style me i don't know that i think you can just take zoe i like that we're on equal style footing but i think you're

a stylish guy i'd value your opinion um i'd value you being there um i'd do it and i'd do it too dear listener so while this oh uh i took a dive into season one just like you guys took a deep dive into grown-ups too described by you two frosty fellas as a sensational ensemble comedy in episode one episode one also featured mentions of rob schneider uh quote kevin james who you might know from mall cop that's the name and chris rock's son being described as quote a shining light of talent that must have been the first mention of a shining light how cool i like i like what michael's done here i'm interested in the research this is great several episodes before the shining light how cool i like i like what michael's done here i'm interested in the research this is great several episodes before the shining light segment even existed there's

also a fascinating exchange where tim expresses that 50 watches is quote not happening guess what timbo 50 watches did happen i heard him episode 3 features the shining light segment which was a regular feature by episode 5 episode 5 is also where it was announced by Tim that you had to, quote, do a year of watches. Tim, as always, a flip-flopper. Yeah, true. Episode 6 saw the debut of REO Speedwagon track as intro music, and 7 featured the idea for the director's commentary.

8 saw Tim's rash declaration that you'd watch Grown Ups 3 for two years. I remember that. A concept that would take, by surprise, 8 episodes later, commentary eight saw tim's rash declaration that you'd watch grown-ups three for two years i remember that a concept that would take guy by surprise eight episodes later and again two episodes after that guy's memory not his strongest trait episode 12 saw chris rock's son referred to as dynamite for the first time 13s where you learned that patrick schwarzenegger was in the film 16 was the debut of tim telling guy bananas a radioactive this had been multiple times in subsequent episodes guys i'm surprised every time 19 was the first time you boys shared a bed at least publicly um it was probably off and on the record oh it says my vimeo connection

is unstable we still up who knows is this thing on um 19 was first time you boys shared a bed and an idea for matching tattoos saying keeping it on oh keeping on keep on keeping on was floated 24 was the first utterance of there's neither here nor there plus the debut mentioned weirdly of Zac Efron. 28 was the first Patty Schwartz Party Time. Wow, it took us that long to get to Patty Schwartz Party Time. 30 was the debut of the Buscemi Mystery Tour. 34, you both speculated about Rob Schneider's sitcom, mostly positively. How little you knew. And 35, Tim suggested he would one day move to the US, leaving Guy behind.

38 was the first extended version of Patty Schwartz's Party Time theme, and the first but not last time you sang a Cyndi Lauper song. 41 featured the idea for the friend zone itself, which makes this a real meta email. The Unnumbered commentary episode featured the Kevin James book of ideas. Wow. Where a hypothetical Kevinames would make improvised comedy offers by opening up to a random page making kevin james the original mr big i vaguely

remember that happening you speculated what a horrible place must be to live in kevin james's head a task you've given yourselves and three relatively innocent american boys forever those are the particular interesting or appropriate comments from season one of worst idea including the london marathon episode and the extra watch you punch yourselves with after the wine carpet incident i remember that distinctly you have seen grown-ups to 53 and a half times during that tim dropped the c-bomb six times re-listening to you boys certainly made the pandemic a lot funnier cheers you pair of magnificent bastards please say my name mike richardson thanks mike really like that so nice really really good work um imagine he had to have a running doc for every episode and you know you have to pause it to write things down. So I appreciate the work you did.

This one here is a big one. Also, just to give a heads up, we're going to break in roughly eight minutes, aren't we? I would say earlier because that's when our scheduled guest is supposed to arrive. We've got a friend coming over to watch some porn. Hey, Major Tim Battersea and Sir Guy McGyver. I just wanted to say that I feel the three of us are in a one-sided, co-dependent relationship. One-sided on my side, as I am now dependent on the majestic sounds of your beautiful friendship

with one another to raise my tired bones from bed every morning. And for those of you only listening along and not watching, I'm actually lifting my hands as though I'm helping the bones be lifted from the bed. This chronic depressive appreciates your levity and all you do. As without your sweet, sweet podcast, I feel I would drift listlessly through my mornings and days. I'm a pretty new addition to your funky fan base. Having only discovered your pod earlier this year, I feel if I ever met you guys,

I'd blather incoherently and perhaps tear up a little. It's a small country and I too live in the land of the long white cloud, so you never know. And wowee, the Emmanuel Chronicles are wild. My favourite part is all the characters' constant referrals to Emmanuel's sexual prowess and beauty. Not to be a fuddy-duddy, but it sure does make her sound like the soft porn equivalent of a Mary Sue.

A Mary Sue. It's a film trope. Didn't we look this up? Yeah, on one of the Emanuelles, I think. And, to my credit, I can't remember what it is. Yeah, mine too. A character who is inexplicably adored by everyone

despite being rather unexceptional. Fuck. Well, thank you for succinctly articulating what we both couldn't remember immediately after we said we didn't know really good thank you oh dear there's me running my mouth no you literally just saved the day without having seen the films i better check myself before i wreck myself well wishes and posh air kisses say my name you, you brave boys. Zarina Simone. P.S. The reason I'm already up to your current season as a new fan is I'm a right rat bag,

and I listen to your seasons in random order. Cool. As and when the mood takes me. Zarina, that is incredible behavior. I commend you. I thank you. And I'm going to write this to you, too. I'll say, we commend you and thank you.

I'll write it in a message to you right now. I'm going to write this to you too. I'll say, I commend you. We commend you and thank you. I'll write it in a message to you right now. I'm going to do that right now. Serena, what a, what a sweet, sweet message. And we'd love to meet you. Come to one of our shows.

We are surprisingly accessible. And the good thing about us all being in Aotearoa right now is that we can, we can still go out and put shows on, attend shows and things, which is a privilege not extended to the entire world, sadly. Except for those of you who decide to get on the next plane in New Zealand and remember to tell the fellas at customs, the frosty fellas sent ya. Look, I've had a vibration in my pocket and it's raining outside,

so I better check to see if our guest is here. Aye. This has been a delight. Thank you so much for joining us for this live friend zone. I'm going to try and figure out how to make this easier and then more constant. So'll we'll keep booking these in we'll move around the time zones i think a little bit so we can accommodate the different um come dance all around the world all around the world with me i don't know who sings that it's a new

zealand song and it's a great song it's not not a New Zealand song. It is a New Zealand song. No way. Truly. I was ending but I'm bringing this back on camera so a guy can know. It's by Blurter.

They were like a group of hippies from Dunedin I think. Bye everyone. Bye everyone. Bye everyone. Dance with the birds and the music Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy It's the friend zone, we're gonna have a good time

It's the friend zone with Tim and Guy Because making friends is the best idea of all time. Friendzone.