The Worst Idea Of All Time - Overlooked and Undercooked: 03 The Penis Episode Part 2 (w/ Cameron James)

Episode Date: August 16, 2019

Rob advertises a male enhancement product, thinking it only be shown in Asian territories. When a giant billboard pops up in Hollywood, he tasks Jamie and his agent Andy to do get rid of it as soon as possible.Cameron James is good on Twitter and hosts two podcasts: Total Reboot and Mike Check. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to episode 3 of Undercooked and Overlooked, a critical analysis of Rob Schneider's attempt to shake up the traditional show business model with his self-funded, self-produced, self-directed and self-starring television program that is semi-autobiographical called Real Rob. I'm Guy Montgomery. My name is Tim Batt and I'd like to welcome this episode's guest, direct from Australia, it's comedian Cameron James. Oh, boys, I am so happy to be here for this joyous event

of watching one of my comedic heroes absolutely shaking up the system. He's shaking it up with two hands firmly around the throat of Hollywood. One hand, the producer. The other hand, the director. The other hand, acting. And a fourth and final hand, writing talent. Head writing talent. More hands.

He's the Vishnu of comedy, this guy. Surely he is. He's probably got a great bit about it as well. In fact, I'll bet he does the accent. I'll bet he does a perfect pitch perfect indian accent because as we saw in this episode no accent eludes the comedic talents of rob schneider accents on point now i this is episode three of the show it's called the penis episode part two part two what happened in part one there's a great and fair question uh so the penis episode

part one was actually mostly ball focused it can be summed up i think mainly with his wife wanted him to get a vasectomy he was scared and he also read a blog online saying it could give him dementia so he got his hapless assistant jamie to get one and then monitored him by way of experiment but yeah i mean i understand you'd be fearful that you might miss some vital plot point because a part one, part two doubleheader would usually suggest some sort of carryover of consequence. But literally, nothing that...

I mean, the part one, part two addendum is so superfluous. So there was no Viagra plot to part one? There was no deal with Taiwan. No. Okay, so just really they wrote two dick themed episodes and went, well, we may as well link them. Is two too many? What's a quick fix here?

CJ, can you take us through the episode? Like loose plot outline. Absolutely. First of all, thanks for calling me by my nickname CJ, which we all agree is cool. I don't think so. Yes. What are you saying?

Guys on board. Guys on board. You like it? I think CJ can be a very cool nickname for some people. And? You're Cam, man. You're Cam. I can be many things.

Cam, CJ, Papa CJ. You can be one of those things. Cammy J. Cammy J and Randy. I'll give you Cammy J Cammy J and Randy I'll give you Cammy J Cammy J is Randy You paint yourself purple

Okay I'll take you through the episode So it starts as I assume it always does With Rob in the club The cellar probably Yeah there's sort of That's right There's two main ways That Rob Schneider seems to understand How to start and end an episode okay it's either in a stand-up

comedy club or in his marital bed like it seems to me that rob schneider thinks the sole reason his cbs show was cancelled years before was because he did not bookend every episode with him and his wife in bed and he is not gonna run you know he's not risk running the risk of making that same mistake so that's been a theme in episode one and two as well okay good so in the you said what comedy club is this yeah i watched it i'm thinking what is this club is this uh is this the famous comedy seller is it caroline's is this zany's yuck yucks it could be any of these clubs do you more uh um the chuckle heart lol station lol station is of course a very well-storied club Two more, KBJ

The Comedy Shack And The world famous The Smile and Nod The Smile and Nod or Smiling Nod? Smile and Nod That's a terrible name for a comedy club Yeah, it's not a very loud one smile and nod laughing

discouraged well you're right it could be any of them because there is no neon sign to suggest what comedy club he's actually performing no audience shots or any camera angles that reveal any more of the space just the brick wall behind him and some sort of vague black like empty void to the side so i assume this is shot on a stage somewhere what do you think i think you're right there was but let's press forward i caught on to that early and tim is a convert as well there's no denying this man is not performing stand-up comedy for an audience i didn't believe guy when he said it in ep1 and then i was watching Ep 2. I was like, fuck, he's right. So you reckon there's no crowd there?

No. He's piped in. Which is madness. That's insane. He's a fucking... It also explains why there are any laughs at all to a routine that is what? It's just him describing different stereotypes

about Asian people. Yeah. So you think, okay, all his stand-up gear in this show is about Chinese people or Asian people. Yeah. So you'd think, okay, all his stand-up gear in this show is about Chinese people or Asian people in general. You'd think maybe there'd be some sort of theme throughout the show that that's what it's going to be about. I don't think there is, really.

No, very tenuous connection because he, in his bumbling ineptitude, his agent calls him, who we don't, you know, this is probably the most featured the agent has been in so far andy andy that's right and he has an offer for five hundred thousand dollars to do uh some sort of viagra i think it's like a viagra ad in taiwan no no no this is in america he gets a five hundred thousand dollar offer and then rob says there's no way i'm going to do an ad was it the prostate ad yeah something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was a prostate ad.

That's right. And then Rob instead takes a side hustle where he takes a $50,000 ad for some variant of Viagra, which is based out of Taiwan. It'll only be seen in Asia. He doesn't care about this. And it's a cashie. He's part Filipino, which I broke that news to you guys. Yeah, he is.

His paternal grandmother. That's why he's allowed to do the Chinese voice on stage. That's why I think he's allowed to you guys. Yeah. Yeah, he is. His paternal grandmother. That's why he's allowed to do the Chinese voice on stage. That's why I think he's allowed to do it. His maternal grandmother. So, very important distinction. Very important distinction. Women first. Smash the patriarchy.

Yeah. Raise the matriarchy up. Yeah. Let them take over for a bit. That's right. See how you like it. Let them have it. So, yeah. So, he strikes some deal with Taiwan to do a Viagra ad, Let them have it So Yeah

So he's He strikes some deal With Taiwan To do a Viagra ad Which he assumes Will only be In Taiwan and China Lo and behold

The The sneaky CEO And I didn't Choose that word Deliberately Jimmy is his name The CEO I was wondering

Where you were gonna land On that Description of our antagonist this episode Insidiously A Chinaman A Chinaman There are no antagonists per episode Because everyone in this show is an antagonist

Everyone's against Rob But Rob is against all of us There's no one to root for Anyway, this CEO actually P puts the ad in the States via a series of big billboards in LA and some other things. And so Rob then has to deal with trying to get those taken down because he's embarrassed everyone thinks his dick don't work. And that is good.

His dick do work. That'd blow the roof off at LOL Station if you brought that kind of gear in. The smile and nod. They wouldn't know what hit him. Might even get a laugh out of him. That is, in Rob Schneider's mind, as told by that episode,

the greatest humiliation is the idea that anyone else in the world would know he might be impotent. He literally cannot muster in his mind's eye anything more embarrassing. He's outed himself as a racist on stage night after night but he's like but i will not have on my watch someone's suspecting my one of the least sexual people or performers i've seen in my life so no one's even asking

the question who cares no one wants to think about it wrong that's the problem with him i think though is that because he cast himself as a romantic lead in his comedies, he does want to be considered a sexual person or a sexual performer. But I've got a confession to make. I'm a Rob Schneider fan. I love his early stuff. I love all his SNL stuff from back in the 90s, the bad boys of SNL. I like him in bit roles in movies from that era as well.

That was his ascendancy. I'm Alone 2. He's so good as like a... Oh, fuck, I forgot. He always played kind of a villainous... Yeah. He was great. Funny comedy relief character.

He's great. And that's what I want to see him as. I want to see him as like a bumbling fool who's self-entitled and a bit arrogant and sneaky. But I don't care about seeing the real Rob. Did you watch his solo movie, Enterprises? The Hot Chick, Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo. The Animal? The Animal.

Deuce Bigelow 2. Didn't see Deuce Bigelow 2. European Gigolo. Didn't see it. Did you like it? I didn't see it. Certainly didn't watch it. I can't see Jay Polo.

I didn't see the title though. Come on, Kenny J. Yeah. So I've seen the big ones. There was that period of time where he was just all over the silver screen. But did you love them? The solo ones?

The non-seeing ones? I think I did at the time. I was the right age for it. I was like 14 or 13 when those movies came out. It's hard to what, like the idea that we would care about any of Rob's short, like, you know, he's

such a, he's so outwardly bad as a father, as a husband, as a client, as a friend. It's like, it's impossible to be invested in anything he does because it's just so. That's so true. This show casts a spotlight just, you know, in even amounts

of time on how he's a fucking terrible human and these different facets. But do you think he thinks that? The guy's writing the show, or at least co-writing it. Does he think he's a bad person in this? He doesn't. It just shows you the level of such a criminal lack of self-awareness. He just thinks it's funny that he fucks up, I guess.

Yes, but there's no there's no charm to it there's no like he's trying to present a the world is against me vibe but it's like he does nothing to sort of justify that viewpoint and it's hard to find because he is the architect of every every downfall in the show it's not like he goes out with the best of intentions to help someone or even himself the architect of his own downfall that has summed him up though actually a lot of his kind of passion projects over the past few years have cast him in the light of basically like a modern day jobe who's just like like the world is crushing down he had a movie i can't remember what it's called but the movie begin he wrote and it's called. But the movie begins...

He wrote and directed it possibly as well. The movie begins with him attempting suicide because he's so depressed and it fails. And then he spends the rest of the movie trying to become zen and chill. It was a Rob Schneider comedy vehicle. He's very Buddhist. I interviewed him once on the

radio and he talked a lot about it about buddhism about buddhism he's in i think he's in buddhist or at least he was you know a few years ago is it called the chosen one yeah that's the one the chosen i don't think he's he's buddhist in the same way he's uh funny he drinks all yeah he's a self-identified zen buddhist and a self-identified comedian yeah i mean but the thing is it's the this sort of you know this ashen touch is not you know reserved solely for rob like jamie liseau who plays the assistant his character so when he doesn't get a lot to do in this episode but one of the tasks he gets given is to go and sort of approach

some gangbangers to spray paint over this big billboard on which Rob's the face of infertility and or impotence sorry

and he puts a he puts a flannel shirt on him and he he gives him a bandana there's a lot of great

gags along the way yeah Rob Schneider blew his nose in the bandana pretty funny and he puts he puts a teardrop on his eye yeah and then he approaches them and he's dressed as a blood and the four guys who are spray painting wall all dressed as crips and

inevitably they turn on him and they start kicking the shit out of this guy and this character is so unsympathetic like it's it's in the same way it's hard to like Rob, it's hard to like his assistant, Jamie. But it was so surprisingly and frustratingly not satisfying to watch this character get the shit kicked out of them. It wasn't like... I feel for Jamie, though. Why?

Because Rob has, as a character, like power over his decisions and Jamie is just purely at the behest of this world that he finds himself in. Sure. Is Jamie a non-actor uh i think that's safe to fucking say is jamie his real life assistant yeah well jamie's a real life comedian he's a comic really yeah he's a he's a comedian in the same way rob schneider is a comedian he co-wrote this as well yeah i saw his name in the credits and i was rob rob's wife and his friend jamie

who's apparently a comedian who by the way i think has uh zero charm like putting the two of them side by side on screen is great because it makes you excited whenever the camera flips back over to rob it's true because rob can act rob can act and maybe jamie can um do comedy. Maybe Jamie can do stand-up. I don't want to tar his whole sonnet. No, but he has blank, lifeless eyes and no discernible voice in this show, so I don't care. When he started getting beat up,

I was like, excellent. Something's happening. But not in a way where you're like, yeah, ha ha ha. He's a satisfying turn in the plot. You're just like, some respite from this dialogue. It's not like if it was David Spade.

Like if David Spade was his assistant and he was like an underling, but a bit of a shit. Yeah. There's a great point. This entire watching this show has made me realize how much I value David. David Spade's funny. He's really funny. He's got chops.

You know what? It's crazy that this isn't a Happy Madison show. I feel very depressed thinking that he pitched it to happy madison and they said no that is literally how we backed into watching it i'm imagining this now because adam sandler takes it sorry this is where you were going i think guy adam sandler takes so many fucking digs at rob schneider in his films he either will put him in for half of a frame in the worst role, or leaves him out,

and we watched Jack and Jill recently, which is what led to us doing this. And he just makes fun of Rob Schneider without casting him in. There's this one big joke that David Spade gets at the end, which is like bullying Jill. It's like, who did you,

she's like, I was dating a celebrity. It's like, who? Rob Schneider? And everyone in the movie falls about. It's like, no, I'm not not casting you but fuck you as well then to imagine rob schneider crawling into adam sandler's office after this decades-long punishment and going can you please please produce my show and for adam sandler to then say no that's brutal because they happy madison produced so much garbage i watched watched The Benchwarmers the other day,

which is a Rob Schneider starring vehicle with David Spades in that too and John Hader, and it's pure, the worst thing I've seen. It's pure trash. But Rob Schneider's actually quite good in it. And also, Spade is awesome. I love David Spade. He can act. He just can't write at all, I think. Well, I think he can. This is what I'm saying. Spade is awesome. I love David Spade. He can act. He just can't write at all, I think.

Well, I think... Schneider. The idea of him pitching this to Happy Madison leads me to ask you a question that we asked Tom Walker last time as well, which is, do you think we're punching up? No, but who cares? You're punching down for sure. We're punching down on Rob Schneider? Yeah, but who cares? That's punching down for sure. We're punching down on Rob Schneider. Yeah, but who cares?

That's why, I mean, the guy sucks. Who gives a shit? No, I mean, to a degree you're punching up. The guy has a Netflix show. That's a huge achievement. But also, he's been a punchline since South Park made fun of him Adam Sandler

has been making fun of him for years and years it's starting to bleed into other people it's crazy I watched this show just thinking I wish

it was populated with even the people I hate from the Happy Madison like staple of people Adam Sandler featured players

yeah like Peter Dante Peter Dante Alan Covert yeah I wish Alan Covert the Happy Madison like staple of people. The Adam Sandler featured players. Yeah. Like Peter Dante. Peter Dante. Alan Covert. Yeah. I wish Alan Covert was his assistant in this. Alan Covert,

he's made me laugh before. He was, have you seen Grandma's Boy? He's the leading Grandma's Boy. He's the caddy in Happy Gilmore. And Jack and Jill, he was the homeless man

at the dinner table to start the movie. Oh, that guy. Yeah, he's good. He's great. I wish he was the assistant man at the dinner table to start the movie. Oh, that guy. Yeah, he's good. I wish he was the assistant in this, and I wish Nick Swanson was the agent. Yeah. Or something like that. Well, Nick Swanson was an agent.

Oh, yeah, he was in Jack and Jill. Oh, really? Jack's a big Hollywood ad executive or something. Nick Swanson is half a rung on the ladder of disrespect higher than Rob Schneider. Yeah, 100%. Over onung on the ladder of disrespect higher than Rob Schneider. Yeah, 100%. Over on Happy Madison's ladder of disrespect. He got fucking dumped on in Jack and Jill, though. He just got the worst character and consistently lines that just were nothing.

It was kind of mean. He's a good stand-up, though, Nick Swanson. I quite like him as a stand-up. He got his own Comedy Central show. Yeah, he had a sketch show. He's good. He's good. He's good and... He's a version of good in Grown Ups 2.

Like he's doing something. Hang on, he's in Grown Ups 2? He's the bus driver. Yeah. He got given a... I love this production company. You should watch Grown Ups 2, bro. Yeah, have you guys seen it?

What are you doing? You spent a year telling people not to do that. Have you guys watched it? Things are different now. People change. The world has changed. Also, you guys both picked up on this. I know that continuity eras, they're a minor quibble to have,

but the dogged persistence with which they showcased the same continuity era as they applied Rob Schneider's rule of fives in comedy. Yeah, explain to me's rule of fives in comedy. Yeah, explain to me the rule of fives. Just like, if a joke doesn't work the first time or the second time

or the third time, why not try it for a fourth and fifth time just in case that's when it finally starts humming? Absolutely. There's a scene where he has sent

his assistant Jamie up a ladder to spray paint over his face. After he's had the shit kicked out of him. Fuck. This is why I feel sorry for him because it's just like,

even though he's such a poorly drawn character and a terrible actor, like unspeakably bad, he just so consistently gets dumped on that I can't help but feel for the dude. Anyway, he's up there. Well, you've lived with him for an hour and a half now. I've only lived with Jamie for half an hour.

It is incredible how short these episodes are and how depressed they can make you. It's a real time warp when you're in there, eh? It's something about the lack of air brakes and stuff. So Jamie's up on the billboard. I don't even know what point I was going to make. It's a rule of fives, but it's the paint cans.

Sorry, the continuity error is that we keep coming back to the ground where Rob's standing with his agent and they're holding the spray paint cans. And he's holding three cans and then we flash away and then back and he's got one and then we flash and we're back and he's got two and it's just like, it's so obvious. It's stark and in the front.

Because the only distraction from the continuity area is the written joke, which is that the assistant is having trouble catching the paint cans from up on the billboard. And they keep hitting him in the head. Yeah, it's real Buster Keaton. He is very Buster Keaton. Very Buster Keaton. Yeah, he's got a real Buster Keaton vibe. Actually, now you say it.

Yeah. Jamie is very Buster Keaton. Yeah. This is what I'm saying. Yeah, he's very good. Very good physical comedy. I mean, we watched him get bashed by Crips. Yes.

Which was hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were watching that hit in the head five times by spray paint cans. Again, undeniably hilarious. What were the... Beyond these huge Buster Keaton-esque moments, were there any genuine laughs for you? As scripted in the show?

As scripted. So show? As scripted. So not unintentional laughs. No, just any laughs whatsoever. I think I... I don't think you did. I don't think I laughed once. I was keeping track. But I definitely, a couple of times I said, that's funny.

And I don't know if I was being genuine or not. Name one, you fucking liar. You son of a bitch. i honestly can't remember if i think of you the way you would say that's funny after a joke in this show that is like there's so much just like that is the most dismissive thing i can imagine anyone saying that's funny stuff yeah when you i guess i probably was being sarcastic but I think maybe there's a few things where you can see the joke and you know what they're going for. That doesn't make something funny. But you appreciate the effort.

Nice premise. Yeah, I think maybe I'm watching this and I go, okay, Rob's written this. He's starring in it. He's producing it. Directing it. And I found out at the end he's directing it as well. The guy's stretched thin.

The vision of comedy strikes again. The guy... And I found out at the end, he's directing it as well. The guy's stretched thin. Anything that he... The vision of comedy strikes again. The vision of comedy. And he's just... He's stretched himself too thin. He can't focus on everything at once. We need to bring in some outside help. And then he can focus on getting those laughs that I desire.

Yeah. You know? But I can see the effort and I appreciate it. Good on you, Rob. Five stars. But I can see the effort and I appreciate it. Good on you, Rob. Five stars.

That is the kindest read of the situation. Literally just craving anyone else to show up at any point in the show. Last episode we had Norm Macdonald showed up very briefly. What? Okay, now that's good. I wish I watched that episode. Yeah, that's fucking classy. Was it funny? So here's the thing.

Because we both love Norm. Guy's a huge Norm fan, and so we knew that he was going to pop up in the series somewhere, but he came so early in episode two that it was kind of crushing. There that goes. Damn it. Nothing to look forward to. Was it a funny scene, at least? It was funny in that Norm Macdonald was in the scene.

Yeah. Norm Macdonald is funny. Yeah. But like, that's not to say He can't be in something Abjectly Terrible Did Did Norm

Am I crazy Or did Norm tweet something About this show A while ago Yeah I think he tweeted support Didn't he tweet something like Everyone should watch Real Rob on Netflix

It's like a genuinely Hilarious show Or something like that Rob Schneider Has to have something big On Norm Macdonald well what what do you think

he's got on him he's a good he's a I've said it before on the podcast Norm's known for having lost everything from gambling before

yes of course Rob Schneider I think in spite of his presentation of himself on this you know experiment in which he shakes up show business

so vigorously he puts he sets up both fingers at the business. Yeah, he's got a shred of empathy, though. Norm's also maybe just a good guy. You think maybe Rob helped Norm out, got him out of the hole a couple of times financially.

Or Norm's just being a good guy to his, like, he's just, come along, little Rob. I also reckon that maybe Norm, in his old age, he's drinking a bit more as well. He doesn't drink. Doesn't he? At all? Nah. Does he do a bit more as well. He doesn't drink. Doesn't he? At all? Nah.

Does he do drugs or anything? Nah. Nothing? Never drank. Fuck. I mean, this is so mean then, but is he like going just a little tiny bit senile or something in his old age? You've been convinced for a while that Norm Macdonald's going to die young,

and it's going to be a bit of a surprise. You've been telling me. Wait a second. What? You've been saying this on the record? No, just a guy, but now here it is. Well, first of all, how old is he right now? Old enough, man.

I think he's probably 50 something. I think he's fudged his date of birth a little bit. I see. Doesn't he not know his date of birth? Isn't that true? I've heard he doesn't know when he was born. Huge, if true. I hope it is.

But just watching him on his show, his chat show that he does, which just got picked up by Netflix, right? Yeah. Which is awesome. Yeah, can't wait. But, you know, like, you are seeing a guy for like an hour and a half in sweet pants, so he's pretty relaxed, but he looks like maybe he's sort of starting to lose his age a little. Yeah.

I'm bringing this up with so many youth listeners. I think he's never been funnier. I think Norm Macdonald's never been funnier. I won't hear a bad word spoken against him. I'd also like to say, I've just remembered, just to gauge Rob Schneider's standing over at Happy Madison, have you guys seen the Conan interview he did with the other stars of Happy Madison or grown-ups?

Cam, have you seen this? No, I haven't. I think maybe you should watch it right now. Okay, put it on. Do we have time? No, we don't have time. Okay, we'll have to- How long does it go for?

It's like five minutes or something. We'll post it on whatever platform it's getting on. Oh my God, it's so heartbreaking. It's Rob Schneider trying to get Like a funny line Slash anecdote And they're all There's like five of them David Spade's there

Sandler Who else is There's a couple other guys there Peter Dante might be Norm Macdonald's there Is Norm part of it too Is Chris Rock in there I think it might be

Sort of grown ups Two and heavy medicine adjacent Which If you're a booker Oh yeah Oh my god You see those names coming up For a press junkie like fucking yum yum.

But fuck, man, Schneider, oh God, his performance in this appearance on TV just breaks my little heart. So do you want Rob to win? I just want him to stop trying. Well, the thing is, in any setting where he's not the alpha, you feel bad for him and you want him to win. But then as soon as you see him put himself on an alpha platform, you're like, no, you little dog, get down. I just want him to be quiet. We've got to wrap this one up. Cam, what would you say to Rob Schneider right now if you could talk to him?

I'd say, Rob, chin up and dick out. Very good. Thank you very much, Cam. Thanks for having me, guys. We'll leave you with a quote from Rob Schneider. Hold on, before we do, that's a really lovely way to end,

by the way. I dig that a lot. Cam, do you want to plug some shit? Podcast shows. What have we got? I don't know when this is coming out. I have two podcasts, one called Total Reboot,

where myself and my buddy, Alexei Toliopoulos, watch an original film and then the reboot of it and compare and contrast them. I have another one called Mic Check with Cameron James and Alexei Teleopoulos, where me and the same dude watch every movie that Mike Myers has ever made. Yeah. And analyze them. That was really fun. I went on that one. Yeah, you've done that.

It's one of the biggest wastes of time that anyone's ever been a part of. Look at where we are. Look at what we're doing. How many films has he done? Oh, not many. Like 26. We've done about 52 episodes or 53 episodes.

So we've watched things multiple times. Oh, okay. So we've watched every appearance he's ever made on a talk show or whatever. Oh, wow. That's awesome. And yeah, so check those out for sure. But I would like in the episodes with a quote from Rob Schneider during the show,

as he was explaining how he knows how to feed his child to his wife. He says, I've seen her eat before. I know which food the hole goes into. No, you flubbed that, I think. No. You know what hole the food goes into. No, you flubbed that, I think. No. You know what hole the food goes into. I literally wrote it down. Did he say,

I know what food the hole goes into? I know which food the hole goes into. That's what he said. I might have flubbed it, actually. See you next time. Thank you.